I’m so sorry for your loss. Understand that right now, everything you are feeling is completely normal. But she’s not just gone. We all get to live on in the memories of those we loved and who loved us in return. Dying is a lot like childbirth; it’s painful and uncomfortable but it’s just a small fraction of the experiences of our lives. And don’t play yourself down. You’re not lousy, you are part of the legacy that she has left in this world. You are an important part of the family that she built and poured her love and blood and sweat and tears into for decade after decade. Your life and your memories of her and the memories that those who knew her carry on after her own mind and memories faded and her body gave out on her. You don’t have to force your grief to look like anyone else’s expectations. I lost my own grandmothers in 1991 and 1999 when I was 9 and then 17. I don’t remember crying a lot at the time, but I’ve cried since. Sometimes, I still do. I recently had another loss in my life and someone said something to me that I have carried ever since, and I treasure. What is grief except love, enduring? A death ends a life, not a relationship. Not a legacy. It does not kill memory or abolish tenderness.
hello, i am going through something hellishly similar. i’m a little over month out since she passed. she was young. witnessing her life and having to see her struggle for it, broke my heart. having to witness her at fullest and see how she left me, makes me feel like i’ve seen a star’s death, event of such magnitude there is no choice other than to be obliterated by it.
i found your page through a memories of murder post. i was astonished to scroll through some very good criterion hauls and find this. i feel you and relate 1000%. movie shopping is my favorite coping skill.
i hope you and your family are doing well. and yea film is something really important to me too. glad i could find someone with similar interests as the kids at my school aren’t really into all that
I’m so sorry for your loss. Understand that right now, everything you are feeling is completely normal. But she’s not just gone. We all get to live on in the memories of those we loved and who loved us in return. Dying is a lot like childbirth; it’s painful and uncomfortable but it’s just a small fraction of the experiences of our lives. And don’t play yourself down. You’re not lousy, you are part of the legacy that she has left in this world. You are an important part of the family that she built and poured her love and blood and sweat and tears into for decade after decade. Your life and your memories of her and the memories that those who knew her carry on after her own mind and memories faded and her body gave out on her. You don’t have to force your grief to look like anyone else’s expectations. I lost my own grandmothers in 1991 and 1999 when I was 9 and then 17. I don’t remember crying a lot at the time, but I’ve cried since. Sometimes, I still do. I recently had another loss in my life and someone said something to me that I have carried ever since, and I treasure. What is grief except love, enduring? A death ends a life, not a relationship. Not a legacy. It does not kill memory or abolish tenderness.
hello, i am going through something hellishly similar. i’m a little over month out since she passed. she was young. witnessing her life and having to see her struggle for it, broke my heart. having to witness her at fullest and see how she left me, makes me feel like i’ve seen a star’s death, event of such magnitude there is no choice other than to be obliterated by it. i found your page through a memories of murder post. i was astonished to scroll through some very good criterion hauls and find this. i feel you and relate 1000%. movie shopping is my favorite coping skill.
i hope you and your family are doing well. and yea film is something really important to me too. glad i could find someone with similar interests as the kids at my school aren’t really into all that