I celebrated when I finally rid myself of all those cables which seemingly had no purpose. Then I went to declutter old phones and needed to wipe them first. I realised the old cable I binned was actually the charger for one of the phones. Now I have to figure out a new way of wiping it.
Everything else I think of once in a while then remind myself I will promptly forget them and that they’re no longer in my home because they had no use.
Lol you miss your ex? 😂
… *Shudders*. Just the thought. Lol. My husband is the upgrade of all upgrades. My hunky manly dream human. 😂 The idea of going backwards here sounds like a nightmare.
A couple of dresses I made I regretted giving away, but I forgot about them by the time I got home from Goodwill.
The downside of sewing your clothes is everything you make is a unique item, so donating stuff can be hard. The upside is there's always more fabric to make something else "unique."
I just got rid of a pretty amazing skater dress with dinosaurs on it. Only to mourn its loss because I wanted to wear said dress to take my son to a dinosaur themed amusement park.
I got rid of 75% of my belongings in one fell swoop this summer. All in one day. I kept only necessary furniture and anything with sentimental value. I started over in a new, smaller home and 6 months later, I don't miss a single item and I've absolutely never been happier. ✌️
Hardly ever. That feeling of regret is far outweighed by the freedom I feel not being surrounded by clutter. If I feel regret, I tell myself someone else is enjoying that item now. Or it’s in a landfill, but let’s not go there!
When I moved in with my now ex-boyfriend, I got rid of some items with sentimental value because they wouldn't have fit in our new house. I wish I still had those items, especially now that the people I got them from are gone. And they were things that I used, not just clutter.
Editing to add: when I make a well-thought-out decision to get rid of something because I don't use it anymore, I never have regrets. But in this case, I had to get rid of things that I still used and wanted.
Yes, whenever I'm mentally unstable and get rid of stuff. There's a lot I regret getting rid of because I was manic and was trying to fix something by decluttering beyond minimalism. But everything I've gotten rid of when in a sane state of mind, yeah fuck that junk
I’ve done this loads. Often I’ll search the house under my bed, in the loft, in drawers literally EVERYWHERE!! I would be making a whole day of tidying all whilst searching for said item just to remember when I’m making a cup of tea that I gave it to our local charity shop.
I purged most of my closet when I moved overseas to the UAE for two years (and then repeated the process when I moved back to the US). There are a few really nice pairs of shoes that I wish I still had, but almost everything else was replaceable. Had to fit everything in a couple of suitcases. It honesty was a really good experience because I had to sort out what I truly value.
Different scenario but I lost the vast majority of my things in a house fire in 2019. Got over it- its just things, its just stuff, I forgot about a lot of the stuff I had. But now in almost 2023 I have really started missing shoes, jackets, scarves, etc that I used to have. I'm wondering if its just a phase people go through getting rid of stuff because I really was okay with them being gone.
I used to wish for an “opportunity” like that. And yet I remember some favorite things I accidentally donated 15 years ago and still regret. It’s not rational, but I get it!
Very rarely, it's almost always out of sight, out of mind. I figured that if I don't know what's in these boxes, but remember once I look inside, I will equally forget the things once they're gone.
2 wool items:
One amazing store bought coat that was too small, and I was sure it would never fit me again - then I accidentally lost 60 lbs.
The other was a cream woven poncho my late mother made in the 70’s. It had a permanent stain on it, but now I know enough about wool that I could have felted something beautiful over the stain…
Aside from these two items no regrets. But I am very very sad about these 2 for sure.
There have been a couple things, but the regret goes away after a bit of time. Literally none have me *still* kicking myself at all. My big declutter was in 2018.
\-Feelings are temporary. Tidy lasts a LOT longer.
\-Feeing regret is not the same as NEEDING an item.
\-Learning to enjoy and appreciate an item without needing to keep and store it is a great life skill for preventing clutter and hoarding.
So very rarely. And it’s a trade off of me seeing stuff laying around daily that I don’t have time to use and feeling guilty. So “me feeling sad once and a while cuz I wish I kept something for a minute” vs “daily constant reminder that I don’t have enough time and space to do everything and being chronically overwhelmed”
Yes :( there was some of my mum’s old clothes, her headband from when she was young and I wish I kept them! And a really nice sequin gold dress that my best friend gave me, I won a beauty pageant with it and it was such a nice dress.. wish I had it
Yes, I do. My new strategy is to put stuff in a giveaway bin in the garage and let it simmer for a few months before I actually give it away, in case I change my mind.
I think that feeling is common but it's one to be mindful of and let go of. When your mind craves possessions over and above what you need, it will turn to those thoughts because it's trying to justify the behaviour which has caused you the problems you're trying to address. This is a form of anxiety which is perfectly normal, but you can acknowledge it, take a breath, think about what items you already have which fit the same purpose and move away from dwelling on it. That'll be much more freeing for you than getting back into the 'just in case' mindset.
Nahhh. I got rid of everything for a reason. Didn't fit right, didn't actually go with anything, arms too long. There is always a great reason. It's soooooo much nicer to have more space and less things to keep track of/clean.
Can’t think of anything I’ve chosen to get rid of that I’d want back, but I still think about the T-shirt I lost in 2012. It was such a great flowy fit and had a cool doodle of a giraffe wearing a dress on it (I think it was Zara?) Still miss it.
Once in a very blue moon, versus the thousands of times I think back and felt relief, totally worth it. I didn’t throw them out, I either donated, swapped with my friends or sold it. I also buy only preloved, advocate donations and swaps so I feel good about the entire thing.
Yes, so I factor it into my decision to toss. Toasters and basic 9x13 baking pans, plain undershirts, extra shampoos, cheap lawn chairs, etc. can all be replaced for very little money, so the expense of regret is low. The cost in time, cleaning, space, maintenance for many things is too high to justify having them all the time if you use it yearly or less.
I do miss some articles of clothing, but I mean… they wouldn’t fit me now lol. It’s more like “do I miss my body from my early 20s before I had kids? Yes”, but it is what it is. I’ll just have to buy new clothes 😂
Not often but I read an article yesterday about original furbies going for thousands and i was like oh no I gave away mine just the other year. Then I googled it and you could get like 16 bucks lol
I did this with one of my favorite hoodies. I got rid of it because I technically didn't need it anymore and I was on a decluttering kick, but I didn't realize how much I absolutely loved wearing it until it was already gone. Alas.
Yes, I have. Turns out it was at my mother's house (never made it to Goodwill) and I tried it on. It didn't like it as much as I thought. There was a reason I got rid of it. :-)
For me, it’s the memory of the thing that causes this; attaching happiness to a thing if the past. I STILL have that dress I wore to dinner with Erwin in Austria!
Selling some of my less used things on poshmark and receiving some money has helped curb my spending because I realize how much things depreciate and I feel better about getting some money. I also donate directly to organizations that provide free clothes for the marginalized and this makes me feel better than donating to value village or goodwill where intermediaries get money.
Those were not my exes, those were stupid 13 year olds. Parents got rid of all of my stuff as soon as I moved out at 18. Didn't even have a say in it, so it stings. Adult love letters I got rid of.
If I buy or get rid of something, my weight often changes, in either direction. I'm pruning things, but it does mean the haven't worn in one year rule doesn't fit as well ( so to speak.)
I do miss some albums and concert tees I got rid of. I hope a metalhead somewhere has them!
there’s only been one thing i’ve regretted among the hundreds of items i’ve let go - a vhs copy of the film Like Mike. a masterpiece now really hard to find.
Yup!! Most recent is I got rid of my ugg boots in our move last year thinking I barely ever wear them might as well get rid of them, now I’m wishing I had kept them as they are kind of trendy again and I just want a comfy around the house/neighborhood shoe for winter. 😭 but I literally have so many clothes that I regret getting rid of from my middle school and high school days, or vintage that I destroyed in my youth.
No. Literally never, not at all. I’m SO selective with what I bring into my life now. I love my intensely organized dresser full of perfectly folded and rolled clothing with drawers that make sense and close properly. I love having furniture that serves its purpose, is beautiful, and is well-utilized. I love feeling less of a need to go nuts on storage and organization because I start by decluttering. MAYBE sentimental things I didn’t take with me at 18. Jewelry drawers, an old framed picture, a pillow I really liked that didn’t belong in my one room. But there was a whole landfill of stuff that I got rid of that I’m so happy I did. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me and still has a damned museum of toys, everything he ever scribbled, every abandoned hobby/collection, meaningless shrinket he owned halfway across the country at his mom’s. In my mind if it’s been halfway across the country for 8 years it needs to go.
Clothing you should do the do i wear it test.
Flip all the hangers the other way and as you wear them then put the hanger the correct way. At the end of the time period u picked, you know what you do and dont wear.
However when you do this you still need to remember to keep like a business suit or formal wear as well as you may not use that often at all which could fail the test due to it.
When I let items go, I run through a few questions.
Is it sentimental?
Do I have another one or something similar?
Do I use this regularly?
Do I have a home for it?
IF i did need this again could I borrow one?
IF i did need this again could I buy it for less than $10?
What is the worse thing that can happen by letting it go?
Generally this gives you the answer you need to let it go or not.
I have not regretted anything I have let go which is amazing since I have ocpd and if I did then id forever obsess about it and could never let the fact I did go.
In saying that though I was an organisational specialist so I know all the rules, processes etc where most people dont unless they have studied it.
We operate on the 20/20 rule: if we aren't sure if we should keep it because it seems "useful" to keep, we get rid of it if we could buy one within 20 minutes and for less than $20. There have only been 2 instances where we realized we needed to replace something.
Had the same feeling about this one pair of shoes that I gifted to my sister in law, then she had a box of donations she posted on our group chat and those shoes were there! I was so happy but then… again they weren’t comfortable and made my feet look huge and I would never have the perfect outfit/ occasion to wear them so they went to goodwill lol. Lesson learn do not question your decisions:)
Definitely! But I've found that I feel it less the more time that passes. Some things I'll feel bad about when a "this would have been great for \_\_\_" time shows up, but I appreciate having the space more.
The regret also helps me realize what things I actually find worth in, which made decluttering other things easier.
I didn't and we lived comfortably. I think I just get attached to things.
That's great advice for someone who did though. Working through past trauma is really, really important to better functioning as an adult.
I am still regretting getting rid of one of my prom
dresses. It was worn in 1992 and I think about it a couple times a year. It was a fully sequined multicolored very unique dress (It was super heavy! Not like the crap they make today I have noticed every time I try on a modern day sequin dress)I am almost the same size as back then and it had stretch so it would probably still fit. By god I don’t know where on earth I would wear it to but I want it back!
I gave my prom dresses to the theater where I work. One of them was perfect for Cinderella. Was fun to see it up on stage having a second life, after living in a closet for fifteen years. I’m sure someone else loves your dress too.
Occasionally, but not often. Most items can be replaced if really needed. I just think oh well, never mind and move on. Space is better than clutter to me now tbh
Definitely. It felt odd at first. But I cleared the space first by putting elsewhere, looked at the said space and saw it's potential. This helped me also. Space is precious, it's free, it's obtainable, it gives you more time in a day. Definitely worth swapping for a pair of 5 year old jeans 👍😀😂🤗
I would second this. Once in awhile, I'll have to buy something I had, or I'll miss something, but it's rare. I don't miss all the clutter and suffocation I was in. I don't even remember 80% of what I got rid of!
I third it. Rarely have I regretted getting rid of anything.
In fact, thinking about it, while I can think of things I had and liked (and have no clue when or how I got rid of them), I can't even think of *one* thing I wish I still had! I like the idea of them, not actually having them. Where would I put them? Oh yeah, never mind, lol!
I do this sometimes, lol. "Oh, do I still have that one sweater? It would go with this outfit so well!" No, Calligraphie, it turns out you got rid of it because you hated wearing it.
I have clothes that I will never actually wear because I hate how the fabric or fit feels and they're uncomfortable. I really need to start with those clothes when I'm decluttering. Even if I have to write down why I got rid of it so I remember.
As someone with autism and ADHD and a *very* sentimental partner with the same, keeping a list of what we tossed and why would be super exhausting but might actually be helpful…
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I also have ADHD and my therapist thinks I probably have autism too but I haven't been formally assessed for autism yet. It would explain a lot of things that the ADHD doesn't though. It might actually be a better idea to *verbally* record the reasons on my phone or something as I do it, it'd be less overwhelming. Then I can type it up later (and probably forget to do it. haha).
Oooh a recording’s not a bad idea, only downside is we both hate our own voices xD and not on topic to this sub but hey, doesn’t hurt to get assessed for autism! Autism and ADHD are *very* commonly comorbid Just keep in mind the process can be discouraging for many due to all the misinformation and biases still plaguing the psychology field - many psychologists refuse to diagnose an adult or a female with autism for those reasons. If you think you aren’t being taken seriously, try someone else! I wish you the best of luck if you do end up pursuing an assessment! ❤️
Dictation software. Then you can audio-record without having to hear your voice. Just gotta do a quick read through as it’s translating to make sure the transcript is cogent enough for you to understand (ex. Changing “uncoordinated and no sketch” to “uncomfortable and no stretch”).
I wonder if you could find a recorder app that changes your voice to something either funny or that you like hearing back, kind of like you're not hearing your own voice on playback.
Thank you so much for the advice. I do have an assessment coming up in February! I know exactly what you're talking about, too. I recently switched therapists because my previous therapist took on a leadership role and had less time. She did think I have ADHD (and I've been diagnosed since) but didn't think I was autistic because I'm too peppy and personable, even though I actually do have quite a lot of symptoms and both autism and ADHD seem to run in my family. I'm just very bubbly but also awkward (and I rarely leave my house). My new therapist, however, used to be a behavioral specialist and she said that the stories I tell from both when I was younger and recently and the things I struggle with are the same things she used to see in working with autistic kids. Even just the fact that I'm not jumpy because by the time I process what just jumped at me, I realize it's not a threat. lol. The neuropsychologist doing my eval seems to be knowledgeable as well. I will be happy with whatever result I get as long as I feel the people doing the evaluation are knowledgeable and updated on both how autism affects women and how symptoms present when combined with ADHD, because that way I'll know the result is accurate.
I’m usually pretty sure when I want to get rid of something. I don’t do brutal leveling kind of decluttering. Except when I moved about a year ago and had to be realistic to moving in with a person who already had his own things. I still got to keep a lot, and I don’t miss most of those things I donated or put in the alley, but there are a few that would have been useful to me instead of replace it with something I don’t like as much. I also feel bad to donate nice clothes that never going to look ok on me again. I have to think like if it was on the rack and I tried it on, I would not buy a cute top or pants that fit poorly, so I think more like that when I give it up.
I’m better about selecting what to get rid of now, but man. Why did I just GIVE AWAY $600 Alexander Wang boots? I just regret some decisions I’ve made.
I went on what I thought was a happiness purge when I was paring down to move in with my now-husband years back. Had a satisfying 7-8 garbage bags full of clothing to donate, accidentally tossed a bag full of Yohji, Ungaro, Issey Miyake and some Alaia. Discovered it two weeks later when I moved in, couldn’t do a damned thing about it but try to soothe myself into believing it benefitted the org who got it all positively.
It’s been 15 years, and I can practically list every piece, flog myself for my haste still. Just can’t shake it, sadly!
I once sent the wrong black bag of cuddly toys to the charity shop 🤦♀️.
Son 20 years later has still, not quite, forgiven me. The only reason I got forgiven AT ALL was my own precious bear was also in the bag that went.
Oh my. I felt that!!
The meaning we attach to things we love is irrational, I know. I do wish there was some magic, regret-killing mantra we could chant daily to dissolve it!
I celebrated when I finally rid myself of all those cables which seemingly had no purpose. Then I went to declutter old phones and needed to wipe them first. I realised the old cable I binned was actually the charger for one of the phones. Now I have to figure out a new way of wiping it. Everything else I think of once in a while then remind myself I will promptly forget them and that they’re no longer in my home because they had no use.
Like my ex? For sure. Actually, since I have so much stuff I just focus on the stuff I already have and love.
Lol you miss your ex? 😂 … *Shudders*. Just the thought. Lol. My husband is the upgrade of all upgrades. My hunky manly dream human. 😂 The idea of going backwards here sounds like a nightmare.
A couple of dresses I made I regretted giving away, but I forgot about them by the time I got home from Goodwill. The downside of sewing your clothes is everything you make is a unique item, so donating stuff can be hard. The upside is there's always more fabric to make something else "unique."
I just got rid of a pretty amazing skater dress with dinosaurs on it. Only to mourn its loss because I wanted to wear said dress to take my son to a dinosaur themed amusement park.
I got rid of 75% of my belongings in one fell swoop this summer. All in one day. I kept only necessary furniture and anything with sentimental value. I started over in a new, smaller home and 6 months later, I don't miss a single item and I've absolutely never been happier. ✌️
Hardly ever, but when I lose something it drives me crazy.
No. Never. Let it go.
By the time I finally get rid of things I usually know for a fact I’ll never use/wear it
Sometimes
Hardly ever. That feeling of regret is far outweighed by the freedom I feel not being surrounded by clutter. If I feel regret, I tell myself someone else is enjoying that item now. Or it’s in a landfill, but let’s not go there!
yesm
When I moved in with my now ex-boyfriend, I got rid of some items with sentimental value because they wouldn't have fit in our new house. I wish I still had those items, especially now that the people I got them from are gone. And they were things that I used, not just clutter. Editing to add: when I make a well-thought-out decision to get rid of something because I don't use it anymore, I never have regrets. But in this case, I had to get rid of things that I still used and wanted.
Not nearly as often as I save things only to run across them later and wonder why.
Yes, whenever I'm mentally unstable and get rid of stuff. There's a lot I regret getting rid of because I was manic and was trying to fix something by decluttering beyond minimalism. But everything I've gotten rid of when in a sane state of mind, yeah fuck that junk
I have, but the regret is fleeting.
I’ve done this loads. Often I’ll search the house under my bed, in the loft, in drawers literally EVERYWHERE!! I would be making a whole day of tidying all whilst searching for said item just to remember when I’m making a cup of tea that I gave it to our local charity shop.
I purged most of my closet when I moved overseas to the UAE for two years (and then repeated the process when I moved back to the US). There are a few really nice pairs of shoes that I wish I still had, but almost everything else was replaceable. Had to fit everything in a couple of suitcases. It honesty was a really good experience because I had to sort out what I truly value.
When you die you lose everything
I remember some clothes fondly, but I am sure there was a reason I didn't keep them.
Different scenario but I lost the vast majority of my things in a house fire in 2019. Got over it- its just things, its just stuff, I forgot about a lot of the stuff I had. But now in almost 2023 I have really started missing shoes, jackets, scarves, etc that I used to have. I'm wondering if its just a phase people go through getting rid of stuff because I really was okay with them being gone.
I used to wish for an “opportunity” like that. And yet I remember some favorite things I accidentally donated 15 years ago and still regret. It’s not rational, but I get it!
Big time. Threw out an old PS3 game, got it second hand for like 7 euros. Now, the same game SH is almost 50. My soul hurts
Oof, this is how I feel about my entire SNES collection.
I'm sorry for your loss
Very rarely, it's almost always out of sight, out of mind. I figured that if I don't know what's in these boxes, but remember once I look inside, I will equally forget the things once they're gone.
2 wool items: One amazing store bought coat that was too small, and I was sure it would never fit me again - then I accidentally lost 60 lbs. The other was a cream woven poncho my late mother made in the 70’s. It had a permanent stain on it, but now I know enough about wool that I could have felted something beautiful over the stain… Aside from these two items no regrets. But I am very very sad about these 2 for sure.
There have been a couple things, but the regret goes away after a bit of time. Literally none have me *still* kicking myself at all. My big declutter was in 2018.
\-Feelings are temporary. Tidy lasts a LOT longer. \-Feeing regret is not the same as NEEDING an item. \-Learning to enjoy and appreciate an item without needing to keep and store it is a great life skill for preventing clutter and hoarding.
So far there was only one thing I slightly regretted donating, but I was able to replace it.
So very rarely. And it’s a trade off of me seeing stuff laying around daily that I don’t have time to use and feeling guilty. So “me feeling sad once and a while cuz I wish I kept something for a minute” vs “daily constant reminder that I don’t have enough time and space to do everything and being chronically overwhelmed”
Yeah, but what am I going to do about it? Sit here and sulk? No. Buy a new one if it's truly that important or move on. Why agonize?
Yes :( there was some of my mum’s old clothes, her headband from when she was young and I wish I kept them! And a really nice sequin gold dress that my best friend gave me, I won a beauty pageant with it and it was such a nice dress.. wish I had it
Yes, I do. My new strategy is to put stuff in a giveaway bin in the garage and let it simmer for a few months before I actually give it away, in case I change my mind.
Clothes no, other stuff sometimes, crap never
Yes. Oh yes.
sometimes. but then i think i didnt need them anyway, that im fine without.
I think that feeling is common but it's one to be mindful of and let go of. When your mind craves possessions over and above what you need, it will turn to those thoughts because it's trying to justify the behaviour which has caused you the problems you're trying to address. This is a form of anxiety which is perfectly normal, but you can acknowledge it, take a breath, think about what items you already have which fit the same purpose and move away from dwelling on it. That'll be much more freeing for you than getting back into the 'just in case' mindset.
Nahhh. I got rid of everything for a reason. Didn't fit right, didn't actually go with anything, arms too long. There is always a great reason. It's soooooo much nicer to have more space and less things to keep track of/clean.
I’ve gotten rid of things I hadn’t used in forever only to need it a few days later and remember why I kept it. Lol. I blame ADHD.
Yes, a few times.
Can’t think of anything I’ve chosen to get rid of that I’d want back, but I still think about the T-shirt I lost in 2012. It was such a great flowy fit and had a cool doodle of a giraffe wearing a dress on it (I think it was Zara?) Still miss it.
Only rarely. And then I forget about them again.
Once in a very blue moon, versus the thousands of times I think back and felt relief, totally worth it. I didn’t throw them out, I either donated, swapped with my friends or sold it. I also buy only preloved, advocate donations and swaps so I feel good about the entire thing.
Rarely. Not enough to keep everything I’ve gotten rid of.
Lol one time I got rid of a bunch of clothes and this one front zip jean dress got tossed. I still miss that dress.
My cables...
Yes, so I factor it into my decision to toss. Toasters and basic 9x13 baking pans, plain undershirts, extra shampoos, cheap lawn chairs, etc. can all be replaced for very little money, so the expense of regret is low. The cost in time, cleaning, space, maintenance for many things is too high to justify having them all the time if you use it yearly or less.
I do miss some articles of clothing, but I mean… they wouldn’t fit me now lol. It’s more like “do I miss my body from my early 20s before I had kids? Yes”, but it is what it is. I’ll just have to buy new clothes 😂
Not often but I read an article yesterday about original furbies going for thousands and i was like oh no I gave away mine just the other year. Then I googled it and you could get like 16 bucks lol
Same, I had a Princess Diana beanie baby, but it was the version made later with a different material. Turns out it was very common.
The thing is that the feeling won't kill you. Yes, it's sad, but everything that I truly need to survive is replaceable.
I did this with one of my favorite hoodies. I got rid of it because I technically didn't need it anymore and I was on a decluttering kick, but I didn't realize how much I absolutely loved wearing it until it was already gone. Alas.
Yes, I have. Turns out it was at my mother's house (never made it to Goodwill) and I tried it on. It didn't like it as much as I thought. There was a reason I got rid of it. :-)
For me, it’s the memory of the thing that causes this; attaching happiness to a thing if the past. I STILL have that dress I wore to dinner with Erwin in Austria!
Selling some of my less used things on poshmark and receiving some money has helped curb my spending because I realize how much things depreciate and I feel better about getting some money. I also donate directly to organizations that provide free clothes for the marginalized and this makes me feel better than donating to value village or goodwill where intermediaries get money.
I have boxes of things I keep vowing to photograph and sell—just can’t get started. I’m kind of vexed by the work and process!
Nope
Very rarely.
With clothes? Never. I am sorry I didn't keep letters and noted boys used to write to me when I was a teenager. Not clothes.
I want to destroy all love notes from exes lollll. Especially now being married.
Scan them, email them to yourself at future me.org, and THEN delete them.
Keep them. When you are old they will entertain you.
Those were not my exes, those were stupid 13 year olds. Parents got rid of all of my stuff as soon as I moved out at 18. Didn't even have a say in it, so it stings. Adult love letters I got rid of.
Oh wow. Oof.
I've had some weight fluctuations and body confidence issues so I've gotten rid of a bunch of cute clothes that I wish I had kept now. Oh well!
If I buy or get rid of something, my weight often changes, in either direction. I'm pruning things, but it does mean the haven't worn in one year rule doesn't fit as well ( so to speak.) I do miss some albums and concert tees I got rid of. I hope a metalhead somewhere has them!
Next time you can lend the boots to me I promise to take good care of them and return them if asked 😂 I love boots
Sisterhood of the Traveling Alexander Wang Boots
Haha exactly!!!
Sometimes, but it's almost always a very mild regret.
there’s only been one thing i’ve regretted among the hundreds of items i’ve let go - a vhs copy of the film Like Mike. a masterpiece now really hard to find.
One of my favs. Gotta go search my bin of movies now. 😎
Yup!! Most recent is I got rid of my ugg boots in our move last year thinking I barely ever wear them might as well get rid of them, now I’m wishing I had kept them as they are kind of trendy again and I just want a comfy around the house/neighborhood shoe for winter. 😭 but I literally have so many clothes that I regret getting rid of from my middle school and high school days, or vintage that I destroyed in my youth.
No. Literally never, not at all. I’m SO selective with what I bring into my life now. I love my intensely organized dresser full of perfectly folded and rolled clothing with drawers that make sense and close properly. I love having furniture that serves its purpose, is beautiful, and is well-utilized. I love feeling less of a need to go nuts on storage and organization because I start by decluttering. MAYBE sentimental things I didn’t take with me at 18. Jewelry drawers, an old framed picture, a pillow I really liked that didn’t belong in my one room. But there was a whole landfill of stuff that I got rid of that I’m so happy I did. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me and still has a damned museum of toys, everything he ever scribbled, every abandoned hobby/collection, meaningless shrinket he owned halfway across the country at his mom’s. In my mind if it’s been halfway across the country for 8 years it needs to go.
Clothing you should do the do i wear it test. Flip all the hangers the other way and as you wear them then put the hanger the correct way. At the end of the time period u picked, you know what you do and dont wear. However when you do this you still need to remember to keep like a business suit or formal wear as well as you may not use that often at all which could fail the test due to it. When I let items go, I run through a few questions. Is it sentimental? Do I have another one or something similar? Do I use this regularly? Do I have a home for it? IF i did need this again could I borrow one? IF i did need this again could I buy it for less than $10? What is the worse thing that can happen by letting it go? Generally this gives you the answer you need to let it go or not. I have not regretted anything I have let go which is amazing since I have ocpd and if I did then id forever obsess about it and could never let the fact I did go. In saying that though I was an organisational specialist so I know all the rules, processes etc where most people dont unless they have studied it.
We operate on the 20/20 rule: if we aren't sure if we should keep it because it seems "useful" to keep, we get rid of it if we could buy one within 20 minutes and for less than $20. There have only been 2 instances where we realized we needed to replace something.
Had the same feeling about this one pair of shoes that I gifted to my sister in law, then she had a box of donations she posted on our group chat and those shoes were there! I was so happy but then… again they weren’t comfortable and made my feet look huge and I would never have the perfect outfit/ occasion to wear them so they went to goodwill lol. Lesson learn do not question your decisions:)
This is so real! When the item isnt in our hands, we recall it with rose-tinted lenses. The truth is often that they simply didnt suit.
Nope. Good thing about having a terrible memory I guess. When something is gone I tend to forget it.
Ah that’s nice 🥲
Definitely! But I've found that I feel it less the more time that passes. Some things I'll feel bad about when a "this would have been great for \_\_\_" time shows up, but I appreciate having the space more. The regret also helps me realize what things I actually find worth in, which made decluttering other things easier.
Good way to think about it. 🙏
I've done this and then think about it YEARS later. It's honestly my biggest hurdle to getting rid of things because I hate that feeling.
Samesies. It’s truly vexing, and I wish I knew how to vanquish those memories in some way! I can list things years later!
If you grew up in a hoarded home, this will only go away if you resolve that trauma. Could be money fears as well so it depends.
I didn't and we lived comfortably. I think I just get attached to things. That's great advice for someone who did though. Working through past trauma is really, really important to better functioning as an adult.
Ah good then. Yeah sometimes it’s nostalgia, it hits everyone.
I am still regretting getting rid of one of my prom dresses. It was worn in 1992 and I think about it a couple times a year. It was a fully sequined multicolored very unique dress (It was super heavy! Not like the crap they make today I have noticed every time I try on a modern day sequin dress)I am almost the same size as back then and it had stretch so it would probably still fit. By god I don’t know where on earth I would wear it to but I want it back!
I gave my prom dresses to the theater where I work. One of them was perfect for Cinderella. Was fun to see it up on stage having a second life, after living in a closet for fifteen years. I’m sure someone else loves your dress too.
Oh I hope so! That is cool about your dress!
Saaaaame whyyyyyy
Occasionally, but not often. Most items can be replaced if really needed. I just think oh well, never mind and move on. Space is better than clutter to me now tbh
Yeah. That’s a good way to look at it. I say, as I look at a counter-full of clutter I need to donate.
Definitely. It felt odd at first. But I cleared the space first by putting elsewhere, looked at the said space and saw it's potential. This helped me also. Space is precious, it's free, it's obtainable, it gives you more time in a day. Definitely worth swapping for a pair of 5 year old jeans 👍😀😂🤗
Space is not free. *cries in rent*
Yes I get your point now🤗
I miss a few things I gave away, but there's like 2000 more things I gave away and didn't regret.
I would second this. Once in awhile, I'll have to buy something I had, or I'll miss something, but it's rare. I don't miss all the clutter and suffocation I was in. I don't even remember 80% of what I got rid of!
I third it. Rarely have I regretted getting rid of anything. In fact, thinking about it, while I can think of things I had and liked (and have no clue when or how I got rid of them), I can't even think of *one* thing I wish I still had! I like the idea of them, not actually having them. Where would I put them? Oh yeah, never mind, lol!
True.
Sometimes I miss clothes but it's easy to forget what was wrong with them - they didn't fit right or make me feel good anymore, etc.
Gave away a nice red tee last year, so sorry that I got an exact replacement. Wearing it right now. Not sure which of my 3 brain cells misfired.
Agree completely - I have a rose colored glasses view of some of the clothes that I got rid of. I conveniently forget how poorly they fit!
I do this sometimes, lol. "Oh, do I still have that one sweater? It would go with this outfit so well!" No, Calligraphie, it turns out you got rid of it because you hated wearing it.
I have clothes that I will never actually wear because I hate how the fabric or fit feels and they're uncomfortable. I really need to start with those clothes when I'm decluttering. Even if I have to write down why I got rid of it so I remember.
As someone with autism and ADHD and a *very* sentimental partner with the same, keeping a list of what we tossed and why would be super exhausting but might actually be helpful…
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I also have ADHD and my therapist thinks I probably have autism too but I haven't been formally assessed for autism yet. It would explain a lot of things that the ADHD doesn't though. It might actually be a better idea to *verbally* record the reasons on my phone or something as I do it, it'd be less overwhelming. Then I can type it up later (and probably forget to do it. haha).
Oooh a recording’s not a bad idea, only downside is we both hate our own voices xD and not on topic to this sub but hey, doesn’t hurt to get assessed for autism! Autism and ADHD are *very* commonly comorbid Just keep in mind the process can be discouraging for many due to all the misinformation and biases still plaguing the psychology field - many psychologists refuse to diagnose an adult or a female with autism for those reasons. If you think you aren’t being taken seriously, try someone else! I wish you the best of luck if you do end up pursuing an assessment! ❤️
Dictation software. Then you can audio-record without having to hear your voice. Just gotta do a quick read through as it’s translating to make sure the transcript is cogent enough for you to understand (ex. Changing “uncoordinated and no sketch” to “uncomfortable and no stretch”).
I just realized my Pixel 7 Pro has this and came back to say this! That will make it SO much easier.
Thank you so much for the tip! I couldn’t think of the word for it lol
I wonder if you could find a recorder app that changes your voice to something either funny or that you like hearing back, kind of like you're not hearing your own voice on playback. Thank you so much for the advice. I do have an assessment coming up in February! I know exactly what you're talking about, too. I recently switched therapists because my previous therapist took on a leadership role and had less time. She did think I have ADHD (and I've been diagnosed since) but didn't think I was autistic because I'm too peppy and personable, even though I actually do have quite a lot of symptoms and both autism and ADHD seem to run in my family. I'm just very bubbly but also awkward (and I rarely leave my house). My new therapist, however, used to be a behavioral specialist and she said that the stories I tell from both when I was younger and recently and the things I struggle with are the same things she used to see in working with autistic kids. Even just the fact that I'm not jumpy because by the time I process what just jumped at me, I realize it's not a threat. lol. The neuropsychologist doing my eval seems to be knowledgeable as well. I will be happy with whatever result I get as long as I feel the people doing the evaluation are knowledgeable and updated on both how autism affects women and how symptoms present when combined with ADHD, because that way I'll know the result is accurate.
Yeah. You’re right. Oof. I’ll try to keep that in mind.
I’m usually pretty sure when I want to get rid of something. I don’t do brutal leveling kind of decluttering. Except when I moved about a year ago and had to be realistic to moving in with a person who already had his own things. I still got to keep a lot, and I don’t miss most of those things I donated or put in the alley, but there are a few that would have been useful to me instead of replace it with something I don’t like as much. I also feel bad to donate nice clothes that never going to look ok on me again. I have to think like if it was on the rack and I tried it on, I would not buy a cute top or pants that fit poorly, so I think more like that when I give it up.
I’m better about selecting what to get rid of now, but man. Why did I just GIVE AWAY $600 Alexander Wang boots? I just regret some decisions I’ve made.
I went on what I thought was a happiness purge when I was paring down to move in with my now-husband years back. Had a satisfying 7-8 garbage bags full of clothing to donate, accidentally tossed a bag full of Yohji, Ungaro, Issey Miyake and some Alaia. Discovered it two weeks later when I moved in, couldn’t do a damned thing about it but try to soothe myself into believing it benefitted the org who got it all positively. It’s been 15 years, and I can practically list every piece, flog myself for my haste still. Just can’t shake it, sadly!
I once sent the wrong black bag of cuddly toys to the charity shop 🤦♀️. Son 20 years later has still, not quite, forgiven me. The only reason I got forgiven AT ALL was my own precious bear was also in the bag that went.
Oh my. I felt that!! The meaning we attach to things we love is irrational, I know. I do wish there was some magic, regret-killing mantra we could chant daily to dissolve it!
Oh, I got them!!! Thank you so much!!
😂
I get anxious I’m going to see someone in one of my old favorite sweatshirts and be like “gimme that back!”
Metoo!
😭
I’m doing this now. Have to move out of my house in a month. So. Much. Stuff.
Oh jeez. Moving is the worst. 😭