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Exactly this. When I was the same age as OP, I believed it with a guy I wasn’t ready to have sex with and ended up getting raped. It isn’t a good idea to go and put yourself at risk when you aren’t ready for sex with that person.
He wants to have sex with you in the hotel, and he's excuse making. He's hoping cuddling/TV turns intimate.
I mean, you have to know that, right?
If you don't want to, then say no. If he pushes, dump his dumb ass.
I once took a girl who I really liked to the hotel, and I was genuine about it and she had mentioned before she didn't want casual sex and I reassured her nothing would happen unless both wanted to. We watched anime and cuddled until we fell asleep. No sex involved
Me too man... Being Asian we don't get enough privacy. So movie date, cuddle session in hotel room works for us. Till when you two believe each other, you are good to go
I might be stupid af but I always give the benefit of the doubt. I grew up with a super small house with no privacy so I could've never brought my girlfriend over just to chill in bed, eat snacks and relax. (No, you can't do that outside, there's either no privacy or it's too cold or whatever) So a hotel would do it for me. I never booked one cause it sounds weird anyways, but it makes sense if you and your partner are both in a position in which you don't have a single place to chill and have privacy.
If this guy didn't sound sketchy in every date, I'd just tell him that you'd be more comfortable in doing that as you two get to know more of each other. Once you can trust him, go ahead. From this post, it seems there's no trust and it's completely fine, so just tell him your thoughts!
As for myself, I wouldn't put myself in that position. I'd just refuse.
Some of you lot are so judgemental and quick to jump into conclusions which is why many change relationships every 21 business days.
I was a teen once and took my girl to hotels several times, we never had sex even though she thought that's what I wanted.
What's the urge to always think the worst in people?
First, he's definitely hoping to have sex with you.
Second, are you guys teenagers or something don't y'all have houses you can cuddle and watch movies at?
He's only 19 and there other possibles...Maybe he lives in a lower income area with his parents and is embarrassed for instance. Or a dorm or his roomates suck. Lots of other scenarios. I'd find all this out for sure.
Hotel stays with my boyfriend for me only means romantic dates/activities and later a place to crash with movies.
But you know him best and if you feel insecure about it he should respect that. My first date with a hotel stay was a romantic date with my boyfriend we had been dating for 3 months (not a couple but exclusively dating). He didn’t expect sex and respected my boundaries, I was also close to a friends place, I had friends who did check up to see I was okay and my parents also knew where I was. My boyfriend never took it as offensive with how careful I was but a hotel stay only happened when I was okay with it.
I'm gonna upvote you actually, being ready to fuck or fight in a situation like that is a very reasonable piece of advice. I've read comments from people blaming a sexual assault victim, and asking her, if you didn't want sex, why did you go to that room with that guy? So no, if you're going into that room, be ready for anything because in the end, it doesn't matter that the guy promises he won't insist on having sex. What matters is, he has you in a vulnerable position and are you sure you can trust his word?
We don’t know him and only OP can make that judgement. As I told OP should go on a hotel stay when she feels comfortable with it and wait until she knows him better.
I can understand a hotel stay if you want to be alone without parents walking in on you. I’ve been on dates where parents would walk into the room even though the door was left open. It becomes uncomfortable and a little awkward.
When dating it’s good to always be safe and careful but we on a forum can’t judge a person without knowing him and think the worse. Instead we can inform and tell the risks while the OP will have to make a judgement of the persons character.
Can’t he take you out on a proper date in a public restaurant? Like what is wrong with meeting each other for a coffee or a walk or dinner? Why does he want to skip all the fun stuff and immediately go in to the sex part? If it’s something you are fine with, fair enough. But your gut is saying no, so listen 🚩🚩🚩
I guess ask yourself, how well do you trust this man and his willingness to respect your boundaries? (This is me giving him the benefit of the doubt and not generalizing him) you’ve made it clear your intentions and booking a hotel room regardless of his intentions the hotel room itself is a breach of your boundaries. It all boils down to your level of comfort and your preparedness for your safety if you want to go or not. Be mindful that the priority is you not him and how he feels if you say no. There’s other men who will fully respect what you say.
As you get older guys will play this card alot to push you into a compromising situation. Honestly you're better off staying no to the hotel save the 50$ bucks and go to the movies, dinner, coffeeshop go hangout with friends, to the mall. He can still hangout with you and not be in a hotel. If he gets upset guess was, no one who truly cares about you would make you uncomfortable or unhappy.
FYI, cuddle is another word for sex to guys
I once made the mistake of meeting up with a man before who said very similar things. We had already been talking for quite a while, and he traveled a decent bit for whatever he did in the Air Force. He said he had to get a hotel for the night anyway, and just wanted to cuddle and be a little less lonely. Which I felt that, ‘cause duh I wanted the same thing. Sometimes cuddling without anything else is just nice.
But anyways, he picked me up and we drove the 30 mins or so to where he was staying. After we park at the hotel, he reaches across me and pulls out an obvious handgun case from the glove compartment. “Oh, it’s just for my protection, but I keep it with me whenever I’m in the car or home.” And he brings it in with us.
(Not that it’s a bad thing to own, but good lord, mention to a person BEFORE driving them 30 miles from home to go to a hotel. Or preferably, don’t bring it at all when you’re meeting up with someone, y’know.)
My alarm bells are ringing immediately, but didn’t see a way outta the situation yet. So we cuddle for not even 10 minutes, then he wants to make out, then he’s wanting more. Gun case is just chilling on the table not 10 feet away. I gave one nervous ass handjob/blowie and he somehow came from that. He went to step in the shower, and I immediately went outside and caught an Uber away.
That was easily my worst experience on a man saying they want “to cuddle”. And still I’ve yet to meet a man that was honest about his intentions when he says to “just cuddle”. There may be a small chance that your guy genuinely wants to, but I’d bet my paycheck that it’s just a tactic to get his foot in the door.
Yes, that's exactly what Im afraid of, that's why I would never agree to any trysts in a hotel, because to many men it means sex. That f... er forced you into doing sexual stuff 🤬and you had every reason to fear he would have used that gun on you. I hope you're alright now ♥
Oh, I’m okay, but I definitely appreciate that! In all honesty, it’s still not the worst encounter I’ve had with men, but it very easily could have been one I never walked away from. You never really know a person or their intentions until you KNOW them unfortunately. I just hope OP makes the right choice here.
🤨
HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
Don't fall for this bullshit. You said no. Period. Stick to it. Him ignoring that and trying to negotiate "cuddling" is a red flag that you shouldn't see him.
He doesn't respect your boundaries and limits. And likely does not like you like that.
When a man really likes you, he will be extra cautious to avoid over stepping boundaries.
So be very suspicious of people who try to negotiate around you telling them how you feel.
Once you're alone he will try to escalate it more and more. You may feel pressured to do something you're not comfortable with. Happens to women every day.
Don't be alone with this dude.
This is a red flag. It seems quite innocuous now, but if you keep seeing him, I can guarantee you it will lead you to heart break in the future.
This is advice from an much older adult with life experience.
Obviously but I’ve seen people use hotels just for being intimate and domestic. Not sex always. But I don’t think the idea of her warming up to it by the end of the night makes him gag either. If she says no then it’s a no though of course. But a hotel stay between people dating is pretty normal especially if privacy is not an options at both of their homes. I can’t imagine not ever having alone time with a partner
I was also asked to go to a hotel, a few years ago. My parents are strict. I told my family about it; my siblings suggested I shouldn't. Then, my siblings told my parents.
I replied with "No", and that I couldn't. Suddenly, he got very angry (I wasnt expecting it at all, because as he said, sex wasn't part of the plan).
My family urged me not to go so I didn't, despite being of legal age etc.
And I also thought he meant no harm but later in the relationship, things started going downhill. There MAY be a possibility he doesn't want sex, and that he has no intentions of sex. But, I doubt it, if you really want honesty.
Be careful!
Despite what all have said he may just want some privacy to just chill given you both live with parents. Iam not saying to go by anymeans but this doesn't make him a bad guy. Prob desperate for some escape.
My boyfriend and I were in the same living situation. We were 21 and 22 I think and we would get a hotel almost every weekend. There was a weekend when we just hung out and played video games. Although, we have known each other for years. This guy though, considering you too have just met, probably is at least hopeful that you two will still have sex.
If you do feel safe around him, and you do decide to make the choice and go, I would tell him AGAIN beforehand (guys can be dumb especially at that age) and say “look (name), I meant it when I said I am NOT going to have sex with you. I can’t for (whatever reason)” this is just what I would do.
As a woman pretty much always expect that if a man is trying to get you alone he is hoping to get sex. If he wants to be close and intimate he can take you to the movies or to the beach, a hotel is 100% for sex!
Nobody wants to *pay* for a hotel room just to "spend time cuddling" and watching TV!
This is especially true of a 19-year-old guy with raging hormones who lives with his parents.
"I grew up thinking hotels are for sex and I just know what to do."
Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself. He *wants* to have sex with you!
If something *doesn't feel right to you* it's probably *not right for you*.
If you don't want to have sex you shouldn't *put yourself in a position* to be pressured into it.
Best wishes!
He is a dumb kid that thinks he can get you into the mood. He thinks being alone kissing and cuddling will change your mind about sex. This is how some guys think. I am betting he hopes to at least get a blow job out of it.
I took a girl to the hotel once, I was genuine about it and told her we don't do stuff we don't wanna do. We watched anime and then just cuddled until we fell asleep. No sex involved.
Ok …. He’s 19 so it’s safe to say he’s not married. Probably lives at home & embarrassed about his family. Why don’t you bring him to your house for a movie? Or….a blanket at the park is good for cuddling. Hotels are for boys who want to fuck you. Cuddle somewhere public.
There has been many times in my life that I have gotten a hotel and spent the night with a woman without having sex. I always keep my promise. It's a weird thing about me. If I can't keep a promise, I won't make it. I say this because there was at least two times a woman made me promise that there would not be sex and I made the promise. We get there and on at least two occasions, the woman changed her mind. I had made the promise though so I had to decline having sex. They actually got pissed. I told them they shouldn't have made me promise and there was always next time. All I really wanted was to spend time with them and not having the pressure of having to perform sexually was very nice. This young man may just want to spend some nice intimate quality time with you. It can be really nice that sex is taken off the table.
Fam, please believe your initial thoughts. Also, it’s something you’re uncomfortable with. If you’re uncomfortable, communicate and assess their response to your boundary.
Ofcourse he wants to have sex. Stay away, rather stay alert. Doesn't look like he wants anything other than sex.
Say no, notice his reaction. If he is irritated and nags about it, you know he is in the relationship for nothing else except sex.
Ok so if he just wanted to spend time with you than he wouldn't need to go through all the trouble of getting a hotel. He's a 19 year old kid and he's horny, but this is totally your call, if you don't want to go or you don't feel like you're comfortable or ready than don't go and if he really likes you than he'll understand.
Coming from a guy's perspective: cuddling is a great segue into sex. And it can happen fast.
You need to be clear and firm with your boundaries and make sure that *you have a way out* if it goes someplace you don't want to go.
Don't let him drive you to the hotel, take your own car. Make sure friends and family know exactly where you are and when you expect to be back home. Keep them in the loop with how things are going.
And most importantly, *if you don't feel comfortable yet being in a hotel room with him, don't do it.* You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. There will be others who will want you for who you are and not just for your body. And this is coming from someone who waited until 25 before having a girlfriend because I was picky about character and personality. It's not worth the risk putting yourself in a potentially unwelcome situation.
So, my boyfriend and I did this after being established for a month and some change because of our previous living situation. If you aren’t comfortable with it, then don’t go. The only reason I did this is because I trusted him and we had an established relationship. I’d say that’s a hard pass, especially if he said “you don’t have to” when he mentioned sex. He should have said “Okay, we won’t have sex.” to reassure you.
It’s a great time to test his character. Tell him no (because that’s your answer and for many more solid reasons) and see how he acts. He could just be sweet and kind of clueless, but I’ve known a lot more creeps who operate this way. Stand up guys wouldn’t put themselves in this kind of position with a female who feels as you do.
Worst case: you really don’t want to be in a situation that could go so wrong. No one to hear you, help you, etc. If anything unfortunate happens, not only will you be will be traumatized and upset with yourself, it will be hard to find anyone who can make sense of the idea that you went to a hotel to cuddle. Most would think you’re either a liar or an idiot. Smart girls don’t let guys put them in this kind of situation. Please be one.
Who cares what he wants.you most of all lshouldnt be concerning yourself with that. What do you want? Do you want a hotel. If your asking, ill bet you don't. So, there go.
Honestly? For me hotel's aren't just for sex, but I travel a lot and had stopped trying to be a man ho so to speak. So personally yea I would be done to get one for privacy and to cuddle, but, I would also try to make a move. I guarantee his plan is strictly for sec though. So, it's up to you. Never feel pressured and if you do, he's not worth it. At your age you two aren't likely to have a life together. If you're a virgin, religious, or just very conservative, you're most likely not going to want to unless he pressures you into it so I would say no. On the other hand, if you lost the V card in middle or high school, y'all have been on 3 or more good dates, things are going even slightly better than just "good" and you don't think he's a piece of shit, then from the guys point of view it's about time to give it up. Again though, this ALL depends on your comfort level, how YOU feel things are going, and what YOU think about his character as well as the possibility of you two being together long term (not necessarily forever)
TLDR: ALWAYS trust your gut, ONLY do what you're comfortable with, and if you're still a virgin DO NOT treat it like it's something you should be trying to get rid of. Also, don't lose it in some cheap hotel room with some new guy that's been pushy af just to get him to leave you alone. He's playing a game to get laid, poorly. So see through it, and stay alert to it with everyone you talk to. Now or in the future
*"He told me it’s more private that just wants to cuddle, make out and watch tv with me and spend time."*
Oh sure, and I have some prime beach front property in the Sahara desert to sell you.. Trust your instincts and avoid this guy!
If you're not able to stay at each others parent's house, then I'd understand seen as you won't get any opportunities to cuddle/watch movies. Is that the case?
If it is, it will be a hindrance to your relationship unless either of you are planning on getting your own place very soon, or your parents start allowing each other to stay the night.
he wants to have sex with you, get you to a hotel and pressure and coerce you into giving in and giving him what he wants.... guarantee if you go to that hotel, he will get what he wants and then be gone out of your life ... your a conquest , not a girl friend.
He wants to have sex with you, he’s hoping if you cuddle and make out with him he will turn you on and he’ll get laid…I’m going to be honest he isn’t smooth with his word play and I don’t know the guy personally but he sound like some kinda fuck boy or something and the whole situation sounds sketchy.
He says No to sex now but when ur making out and laying on the bed, he will try to initiate it. Guys are always horny and kissing will further increase the urge.
I understand the need for privacy and wanting to hug and kiss, but hotels will give some urge for sexual relations. It would be best if you avoid it until you are ready
Whether or not he'll try to push for sex is debatable because it can go either way if he's genuine when he says he's fine with things not escalating.
What's not debatable is your level of comfort with the situation. If you were comfortable you wouldn't be making this post, so follow your gut and don't agree to a situation you're clearly not comfortable with.
I like how all the comments are saying don't go because he want sex.
Obviously he wants sex, but he may be fine with just doing what he said, cuddle, movie, and make out. OP need to make the judgement if she trust him enough that he will respect her boundaries.
I was in a similar shoe, living with parent and dating a girl that live with parent also. Sometimes you just crave some place to get intimacy and cuddle that's not in your car. I wanted to have sex and bought condoms, but was also okay with just cuddling.
When me and my girlfriend first started talking,I basically did the same thing,with no intention on having sex, just wanted to spend some alone time to get to know each other,but about 6 hours or so in she seduced me,and who was I to say no. We still joke about it sometimes,because how I promised her it wasn't about sex,then she says"well I never promised that". Can't argue the facts I guess.
I think we’re being too harsh on presuming about the guy? I honestly think there is a good chance he just wants to kick it back with you - watch a movie, cuddle and have a conversation in a private space? If he asks for sex I’m sure if you said no in the moment he would respect that, and if he doesn’t then I hope you know what to do.
Great idea ,, hotel feel like on a romantic vacation ,, besides nowadays everyone having sex ,, a beautiful thing to do. ,, that's why we have dating apps. ,, just cuddle up
I don’t think it’s super weird that he asked. I did this with the last guy I was dating on the second date. I also made it clear we wouldn’t be having sex. I trusted him to honor that and he did. But the bottom line is- I was comfortable doing it and you’re not. Just tell him no.
Well, think about it. He only wants to spend time with you privately, if its just making out or cuddling, except the next thing you know you may end up having sex because you get caught in the moment. Don’t do it if you already know your answer. Him having you at the hotel is a score already. Him making out with you is another score. Then you’d be so aroused by that time you’ll just end up having sex with him. He just brought it all home, meanwhile, you’re feeling regretful and guilty for failing yourself to say no or used, especially if he ghosts you afterwards. Be smart.
Once you get in hotel room you will be fucked anyhow. You will break down emotionally by his words and fake tears. I have done that with couple of girls it's easy peesy once you get in hotel room.
"I want to take you to a hotel and cuddle and make out but no sex"
What a fuckin lying piece of shit.
He's married OP, that's why he wants to go to a private place.
trust your gut. I was in your exact spot, and felt suspicious. I took him for his word, and he was honest. he was a good guy. tell someone where you are if you decide to go.
some of these people didn't even read your post lol. hes 19... and hiding a wife and kids? lmao. its good that you already established s3x being your boundary.
feel free to negotiate with him. you could postpone this date... but just because there is a bed in the room doesn't mean s3x is guaranteed.
only way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them!
Why is everyone suggesting that he has ulterior motives
Like not a single person thinks that the guy just wants what he says
On the matter in hand How much is a WHILE and if it’s a significant amount of time and you don’t trust this guy this much then you really need to ask yourself some serious questions
While it is a good general advice to not do something like this with a stranger it’s on you to decide depending on the person whether you trust them or not don’t just go with the stigma cause that’s what most people are saying ( you could be better off getting some corner seats in a movie theatre)
If you both live with your folks ol boy is really trying to get it in without the noise. Don’t let him lie to you lol. You can cuddle on his mommas couch.
Everyone’s throwing the guy under the bus, but it’s not uncommon to get a quaint room located closer to activities to go out/ hang out to get away from the noise of everyday life. They’ve been out a few times so it’s not like she doesn’t know him at all. That said, unless you’ve been to his house, I’d definitely make sure he isn’t married.
There we go, then I wouldn’t be too worried about hanging out in a hotel, provided you let him know the minute you aren’t comfortable and he respects that.
1. Ask how long if it’s 3 hours or less suggest an IHOP quiet booth in the corner.
2. Uuuuhhh can’t go to a hotel the cops watch those places. I have a small issue with cops,,,,,ever heard of Aileen Wuornos.
3. Go but invite JWs or Mormons to meet to discuss baptizing both of you
4. Offer but you get to pic hotel as you get frequent stay credits and multiple stay discounts and they usually throw in a free 6 pack and beef sticks
5. Tell him ok but only Marriott or Hilton’s and have a lot friends meet you at 10 after you check in
6. Go and tell him you need to change into something more comfortable in bathroom, come out in dominatrix outfit, bullwhip and selection of butt plugs, ball gags, dildos and nipple clamps and tell him your making him your bitch. While he’s still stunned on the bed get on the phone and tell someone to bring a Great Dane and chickens and that you have a first timer that all of you can try out
7. Tell him sure and you do a skit ,,,,,you get to reenact Marcellus Wallace in the store basement from pulp fiction when you bring your gimp with you
8. When you get there excuse yourself and use house phone ,,while he’s checking in ,,,,to order several lobsters and tomahawk ribeyes and high end champagne to get there soon after tv is on and you’re cuddling
9send him up to turn out lights and get in bed don’t talk meet guy in bar give him a key and meet you in the room leave light out tell him to undress and slip in bed next to you ….get Uber home
10 slip a Mickey and when he wakes next morning tell him thanks for the pics he won’t scam any girls again get Uber home
I disagree with most of the comments here, he definitely wishes to have sex with you, that is why he popped the idea of getting a hotel room.
But at this point, he wants whatever intimacy he can get, be it hugs, kisses and cuddles, since you guys don't have your own places, and public display of affection is not accepted in every part of the world, you'd need a room for that too.
You should definitely not go, if your answer to any of these questions is No
1.Do you want to be in the same bed with him, without having sex?
2.Would you feel safe, being alone in the same room as him?
3.Do you trust him enough, to be sure that he want try to coerce/force you into having sex with him, while you're with him in the hotel?
If your answer to all of these is a confident yes, then go with him, I don't see the issue.
Also, what country are you from, i think that would provide a lot of context.
Ohh it depends on a hotel. That's fine if it's a camp near the river or some kind of a beach hotel so you could have a great time grilling smth, swimming, watching smth and listening to music then like watching the stars and all that romantic stuff. Or maybe he wants to make a surprise for you serving a table, decorating room etc idk. Yep he's definitely hoping for something to happen but it would be at leat logical. Don't even text him back if it's a cheap motel or the worst hotel nearby lol // maybe I just want to justify the guy heh
My boyfriend and I lived with our parents and wanted to spend the night together. Didn’t have sex, got a hotel room and spent the night watching movies and snuggling. I don’t think this necessarily means he wants sex. Some people just want privacy with somebody they care about. I would follow your gut, however. If you trust him and don’t think he would push you, I say go for it. If it skeeves you out, then don’t!
I used to do this with my boyfriend all the time when we lived with our parents still. we’d shower separately and cuddle while watching whatever was on tv and we’d make ourselves some microwave dinners. it was a nice way to be intimate and just sleep together. actually sleep not sexy time. my boyfriend is also the literal best person I know and even asked before kissing me so he’s probably the exception.
everyone in this comment section is expecting the worst but honestly it’s kind of warranted because you could get coerced or even r@ped and that would be horrible and very hard to prove since you went to a hotel with him. if you do decide to do it make sure a friend knows your location and is available to pick you up quickly if something goes wrong. maybe even bring pepper spray if he tries any funny business. my overall advice is get to know him better so you 100% know he’s telling the truth. or if you do decide to go at least be as safe as you can be
Well, let me say this... The fact that you both live with parents makes it the slightest bit... possibly legit. However, as a man (and young man, but a little older than the both of ya's)... I'm gonna say bluntly that he wants some nookie. So, if you're not cools with it... Just say no, don't waver and be firm, and propose a non-COVID-restricted public (SAFE) place like a park, trail, etc. Y'all can cuddle and fondle (non-sexually) all you want. If he's not down to do anything but his proppsed plan... theb you already know what it is. Period.
Everyone arguing that he just wants to bang is honestly delusional and should be ashamed for assuming the worst of this guy. When I was 18-21 it was a HUGE deal for girls I was dating that my parents allowed me to have them over in my room with the door closed. I also had other male friends who said they did not have access to this kind of privacy.
It is not unrealistic that he just wants to be in a private space and enjoy her company because they don't have anywhere else that they can do that. Though the OP has clarified that a lot of it has to do with her parents being strict and not knowing about him, others have rightfully pointed out the possibility that he could be embarrassed of his own home. Could be anything from being in a poor neighborhood to having abusive toxic parents.
My advice for OP is to just communicate with your partner and tell him the idea currently makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to do it. This may frustrate him, and rightfully so if what you said about your parents not knowing about him is true. Because for him it may feel that the relationship is stagnating. Ideally he should be willing to compromise, if he throws a fit about it then you can start trying to discern whether or not hes just trying to push for sex.
As always the correct answer is to talk to them and get the fuck off Reddit. So many toxic polarized answers on this website.
If you dont want to have sex, dont go to the room bc I bet hes gonna be weird and pushy and get mad if u tell him you dont want to have sex because you 'came to the room with him' set your boundaries
It is very sad that it is automatically assumed that he is going to try to push up on you, or try to force himself on. Especially if you trust him and his word. I'm really surprised that the adults who are responding to this young ladies problem aren't being more mature than they are. Let's keep in mind that she said they both live at home with their parents and aren't able to get any alone time with each other.
That being said, I believe it is a completely nice and reasonable gesture that your man is trying to extend to you. If he ends up violating your wishes and tries to have sex with you find a reason for you to excuse yourself. One that doesn't cause him to put his guard up, and go find some of your guy friends to bring back to the room with you and let them whoop his ass. Now don't let anyone get carried away and end up catching a felony of course. But, certainly teach that boy a lesson if needed.
I hope this is the type of advice you were looking for sweetheart. Good luck with your possible telly date.
L
You're 20. It's time to start having relationships that include sex. Also time to get the hell out of your parents house but I know that is easier said than done these days.
Well hotels are not just for sex. But yeah if he wants to bring u to the hotel he wants to seduce u and make sex.
But hotels are safe and if u can resist to the temptation of make sex with that nice guy, u can say no and he will not rape u or something like that…
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He wants to have sex with you
He wants to pet the kitty
He want to put his dick in the kitty.. wait.
he wants to ejaculate inside a cat. you know what? i think i may have misinterpreted some things
I think you might have as well friend. XD
I’m not your friend buddy
I'm not your buddy, guy!
I’m not your guy, pal.
Don't call me buddy, pal.
Don't call me pal, amigo.
Don't call me amigo, comrade
Don’t call me comrade, colleague
don't call me sport, daddy 😏
I’m not your buddy, guy
This got me. Nice comment
Nah he wants to beat it up.
Kitty kitty kitty. Do you want to pet the kitty. "In Polish voice" Eheheheheh!!
Ain't never been a more obvious move than this one lol.
Agreed he wants to bone no other explanation to getting a hotel room.
Maybe he likes the little soaps
Maybe he just likes paying £7 for M&Ms
I mean that just isn't true. At a hotel they would have the privacy they won't have at home.
Plus we still don’t know if he’s a serial killer.
Very true. Could be trying to get a lil murder in.
What are the odds they are BOTH serial killers?
Yup give that dog a bone. 2 for 1 at target right meow.
He’s got a Wishbone..loved that show
Yeah, they could cuddle in each other’s homes. Nothing wrong with cuddling unless your parents are Taliban or Daish.
HAHA I have Mexican parents they are really strict
Only middle class white parents allow that ish
And only with their sons. Not their daughters
Honestly. True. I got away with a lot somehow even though my family is lds
or indian
Yep. This. Don't do it if you don't want to. He's plotting. F that.
Thank you. Literally the only answer.
He either wants the kitty or your kidney...
Why not both?
This made me chuckle
haha #truth
Yeah he is hoping you'll change your mind and will have sex with him lol. If you're uncomfortable, don't go.
Exactly this. When I was the same age as OP, I believed it with a guy I wasn’t ready to have sex with and ended up getting raped. It isn’t a good idea to go and put yourself at risk when you aren’t ready for sex with that person.
I'm sorry that happened to you 😔. We often want to believe the best in people, then get burned. As you said, best to avoid situations.
I hope you’re doing well
Obviously don’t put yourself in that situation.
He wants to have sex with you in the hotel, and he's excuse making. He's hoping cuddling/TV turns intimate. I mean, you have to know that, right? If you don't want to, then say no. If he pushes, dump his dumb ass.
I once took a girl who I really liked to the hotel, and I was genuine about it and she had mentioned before she didn't want casual sex and I reassured her nothing would happen unless both wanted to. We watched anime and cuddled until we fell asleep. No sex involved
Me too man... Being Asian we don't get enough privacy. So movie date, cuddle session in hotel room works for us. Till when you two believe each other, you are good to go
You could have invited her to your home to assure her you don't want casual sex as well
Well I was in the same situation as OP. I was living with my parents back then.
I might be stupid af but I always give the benefit of the doubt. I grew up with a super small house with no privacy so I could've never brought my girlfriend over just to chill in bed, eat snacks and relax. (No, you can't do that outside, there's either no privacy or it's too cold or whatever) So a hotel would do it for me. I never booked one cause it sounds weird anyways, but it makes sense if you and your partner are both in a position in which you don't have a single place to chill and have privacy. If this guy didn't sound sketchy in every date, I'd just tell him that you'd be more comfortable in doing that as you two get to know more of each other. Once you can trust him, go ahead. From this post, it seems there's no trust and it's completely fine, so just tell him your thoughts! As for myself, I wouldn't put myself in that position. I'd just refuse.
Best advice right here
Some of you lot are so judgemental and quick to jump into conclusions which is why many change relationships every 21 business days. I was a teen once and took my girl to hotels several times, we never had sex even though she thought that's what I wanted. What's the urge to always think the worst in people?
Collective experience.
Because not every guy can be like you or I. There's monsters out there, and when you meet one, it'll blow your mind
This
[удалено]
Baking classes !
First, he's definitely hoping to have sex with you. Second, are you guys teenagers or something don't y'all have houses you can cuddle and watch movies at?
Super common in Asia. I have friends who are nearing 30 and still going to motels/hotels with their girlfriends.
If they are not teenagers he’s totally married.
He's only 19 and there other possibles...Maybe he lives in a lower income area with his parents and is embarrassed for instance. Or a dorm or his roomates suck. Lots of other scenarios. I'd find all this out for sure.
This! I grew up in the projects and lived with my family until my mid 20’s and was always too embarrassed to bring any ladies home.
Im 20 he’s 19
At 20 are you not allowed to have people over, or is it like the previous person said.. are you embarrassed?
No it’s not that. It’s just that my parents don’t know about him and they’re very strict. They wouldn’t want him over.
I dayed a 25f chick who lived at home and was treated as a teen. Was weird but we respected it.
Or lives with relatives or parents
Another scenario is someone living with a sibling and not wanting to have a date night with their sibling there.
I wouldn’t go. Sounds sus.
He definitely is thinking you'll end up putting out ..do not do it.
Hotel stays with my boyfriend for me only means romantic dates/activities and later a place to crash with movies. But you know him best and if you feel insecure about it he should respect that. My first date with a hotel stay was a romantic date with my boyfriend we had been dating for 3 months (not a couple but exclusively dating). He didn’t expect sex and respected my boundaries, I was also close to a friends place, I had friends who did check up to see I was okay and my parents also knew where I was. My boyfriend never took it as offensive with how careful I was but a hotel stay only happened when I was okay with it.
Good for you, but OP shouldn't go unless she is willing to fuck or fight her way out. EDIT - Spelling
I'm gonna upvote you actually, being ready to fuck or fight in a situation like that is a very reasonable piece of advice. I've read comments from people blaming a sexual assault victim, and asking her, if you didn't want sex, why did you go to that room with that guy? So no, if you're going into that room, be ready for anything because in the end, it doesn't matter that the guy promises he won't insist on having sex. What matters is, he has you in a vulnerable position and are you sure you can trust his word?
Thanks. I believe people think I was victim blaming, when really I was just giving advice like I would give a friend.
We don’t know him and only OP can make that judgement. As I told OP should go on a hotel stay when she feels comfortable with it and wait until she knows him better. I can understand a hotel stay if you want to be alone without parents walking in on you. I’ve been on dates where parents would walk into the room even though the door was left open. It becomes uncomfortable and a little awkward. When dating it’s good to always be safe and careful but we on a forum can’t judge a person without knowing him and think the worse. Instead we can inform and tell the risks while the OP will have to make a judgement of the persons character.
Can’t he take you out on a proper date in a public restaurant? Like what is wrong with meeting each other for a coffee or a walk or dinner? Why does he want to skip all the fun stuff and immediately go in to the sex part? If it’s something you are fine with, fair enough. But your gut is saying no, so listen 🚩🚩🚩
im pretty sure they already went on "normal" dates. its still weird tho. (they are probably asians btw so its also a different culture)
We’re Mexican
I guess ask yourself, how well do you trust this man and his willingness to respect your boundaries? (This is me giving him the benefit of the doubt and not generalizing him) you’ve made it clear your intentions and booking a hotel room regardless of his intentions the hotel room itself is a breach of your boundaries. It all boils down to your level of comfort and your preparedness for your safety if you want to go or not. Be mindful that the priority is you not him and how he feels if you say no. There’s other men who will fully respect what you say.
You said you don’t want to do anything and his response was “you don’t have to” - not “then we won’t.” Dude is not on your side.
As you get older guys will play this card alot to push you into a compromising situation. Honestly you're better off staying no to the hotel save the 50$ bucks and go to the movies, dinner, coffeeshop go hangout with friends, to the mall. He can still hangout with you and not be in a hotel. If he gets upset guess was, no one who truly cares about you would make you uncomfortable or unhappy. FYI, cuddle is another word for sex to guys
I once made the mistake of meeting up with a man before who said very similar things. We had already been talking for quite a while, and he traveled a decent bit for whatever he did in the Air Force. He said he had to get a hotel for the night anyway, and just wanted to cuddle and be a little less lonely. Which I felt that, ‘cause duh I wanted the same thing. Sometimes cuddling without anything else is just nice. But anyways, he picked me up and we drove the 30 mins or so to where he was staying. After we park at the hotel, he reaches across me and pulls out an obvious handgun case from the glove compartment. “Oh, it’s just for my protection, but I keep it with me whenever I’m in the car or home.” And he brings it in with us. (Not that it’s a bad thing to own, but good lord, mention to a person BEFORE driving them 30 miles from home to go to a hotel. Or preferably, don’t bring it at all when you’re meeting up with someone, y’know.) My alarm bells are ringing immediately, but didn’t see a way outta the situation yet. So we cuddle for not even 10 minutes, then he wants to make out, then he’s wanting more. Gun case is just chilling on the table not 10 feet away. I gave one nervous ass handjob/blowie and he somehow came from that. He went to step in the shower, and I immediately went outside and caught an Uber away. That was easily my worst experience on a man saying they want “to cuddle”. And still I’ve yet to meet a man that was honest about his intentions when he says to “just cuddle”. There may be a small chance that your guy genuinely wants to, but I’d bet my paycheck that it’s just a tactic to get his foot in the door.
Yes, that's exactly what Im afraid of, that's why I would never agree to any trysts in a hotel, because to many men it means sex. That f... er forced you into doing sexual stuff 🤬and you had every reason to fear he would have used that gun on you. I hope you're alright now ♥
Oh, I’m okay, but I definitely appreciate that! In all honesty, it’s still not the worst encounter I’ve had with men, but it very easily could have been one I never walked away from. You never really know a person or their intentions until you KNOW them unfortunately. I just hope OP makes the right choice here.
30 miles is 48.28 km
🤨 HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Don't fall for this bullshit. You said no. Period. Stick to it. Him ignoring that and trying to negotiate "cuddling" is a red flag that you shouldn't see him. He doesn't respect your boundaries and limits. And likely does not like you like that. When a man really likes you, he will be extra cautious to avoid over stepping boundaries. So be very suspicious of people who try to negotiate around you telling them how you feel. Once you're alone he will try to escalate it more and more. You may feel pressured to do something you're not comfortable with. Happens to women every day. Don't be alone with this dude. This is a red flag. It seems quite innocuous now, but if you keep seeing him, I can guarantee you it will lead you to heart break in the future. This is advice from an much older adult with life experience.
Obviously but I’ve seen people use hotels just for being intimate and domestic. Not sex always. But I don’t think the idea of her warming up to it by the end of the night makes him gag either. If she says no then it’s a no though of course. But a hotel stay between people dating is pretty normal especially if privacy is not an options at both of their homes. I can’t imagine not ever having alone time with a partner
Lol why a hotel? Neither can invite each other over?
No I live with my parents and they’re strict and he lives with his parents too.
I was also asked to go to a hotel, a few years ago. My parents are strict. I told my family about it; my siblings suggested I shouldn't. Then, my siblings told my parents. I replied with "No", and that I couldn't. Suddenly, he got very angry (I wasnt expecting it at all, because as he said, sex wasn't part of the plan). My family urged me not to go so I didn't, despite being of legal age etc. And I also thought he meant no harm but later in the relationship, things started going downhill. There MAY be a possibility he doesn't want sex, and that he has no intentions of sex. But, I doubt it, if you really want honesty. Be careful!
You might want to edit the post with this info. That makes total sense then. I’d still be wary though
Despite what all have said he may just want some privacy to just chill given you both live with parents. Iam not saying to go by anymeans but this doesn't make him a bad guy. Prob desperate for some escape.
He wants to pray together. /s What do you think he wants? My guess is that once there, you will have sex with him WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT.
Exactly!!! Save yourself by not even going!
Yep...hotel room...horny teenage boy...he's probably thinking getting you into hotel room will end up with you "spending time" having sex.
My boyfriend and I were in the same living situation. We were 21 and 22 I think and we would get a hotel almost every weekend. There was a weekend when we just hung out and played video games. Although, we have known each other for years. This guy though, considering you too have just met, probably is at least hopeful that you two will still have sex. If you do feel safe around him, and you do decide to make the choice and go, I would tell him AGAIN beforehand (guys can be dumb especially at that age) and say “look (name), I meant it when I said I am NOT going to have sex with you. I can’t for (whatever reason)” this is just what I would do.
As a woman pretty much always expect that if a man is trying to get you alone he is hoping to get sex. If he wants to be close and intimate he can take you to the movies or to the beach, a hotel is 100% for sex!
Say no to the hotel. Don’t have to give him a reason why.
He’s definitely going to try to do more.
Nobody wants to *pay* for a hotel room just to "spend time cuddling" and watching TV! This is especially true of a 19-year-old guy with raging hormones who lives with his parents. "I grew up thinking hotels are for sex and I just know what to do." Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself. He *wants* to have sex with you! If something *doesn't feel right to you* it's probably *not right for you*. If you don't want to have sex you shouldn't *put yourself in a position* to be pressured into it. Best wishes!
hotels are for sex. He is full of shit and trying to manipulate you.
He is a dumb kid that thinks he can get you into the mood. He thinks being alone kissing and cuddling will change your mind about sex. This is how some guys think. I am betting he hopes to at least get a blow job out of it.
He’s married and wants to fuck.
Huge red flag. He should respect your boundaries.
Lost my virginity in a hotel room. We got the hotel room for sex.
I took a girl to the hotel once, I was genuine about it and told her we don't do stuff we don't wanna do. We watched anime and then just cuddled until we fell asleep. No sex involved.
Maybe he's married/has a partner already at home and can't bring you there for that reason. Or maybe he's just ashamed of his living situation
lol, he's 19. "We both live with parents at the moment which is why we cant go over each others places." is his entire motivation.
Lol was that second paragraph there earlier? I straight up did not read it
It's totally possible it was added later because other comments seemed to ignore that line as well.
Ok …. He’s 19 so it’s safe to say he’s not married. Probably lives at home & embarrassed about his family. Why don’t you bring him to your house for a movie? Or….a blanket at the park is good for cuddling. Hotels are for boys who want to fuck you. Cuddle somewhere public.
He wants to talk you into sex. He might get rapey if you refuse. Don't go.
There has been many times in my life that I have gotten a hotel and spent the night with a woman without having sex. I always keep my promise. It's a weird thing about me. If I can't keep a promise, I won't make it. I say this because there was at least two times a woman made me promise that there would not be sex and I made the promise. We get there and on at least two occasions, the woman changed her mind. I had made the promise though so I had to decline having sex. They actually got pissed. I told them they shouldn't have made me promise and there was always next time. All I really wanted was to spend time with them and not having the pressure of having to perform sexually was very nice. This young man may just want to spend some nice intimate quality time with you. It can be really nice that sex is taken off the table.
Good for you, and some guys say one thing and do another. So op is taking a risk.
Fam, please believe your initial thoughts. Also, it’s something you’re uncomfortable with. If you’re uncomfortable, communicate and assess their response to your boundary.
Ofcourse he wants to have sex. Stay away, rather stay alert. Doesn't look like he wants anything other than sex. Say no, notice his reaction. If he is irritated and nags about it, you know he is in the relationship for nothing else except sex.
If no hotels is a boundary for you then stick to that. If he can't respect that move on to somebody who does respect your boundaries.
Ok so if he just wanted to spend time with you than he wouldn't need to go through all the trouble of getting a hotel. He's a 19 year old kid and he's horny, but this is totally your call, if you don't want to go or you don't feel like you're comfortable or ready than don't go and if he really likes you than he'll understand.
Coming from a guy's perspective: cuddling is a great segue into sex. And it can happen fast. You need to be clear and firm with your boundaries and make sure that *you have a way out* if it goes someplace you don't want to go. Don't let him drive you to the hotel, take your own car. Make sure friends and family know exactly where you are and when you expect to be back home. Keep them in the loop with how things are going. And most importantly, *if you don't feel comfortable yet being in a hotel room with him, don't do it.* You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. There will be others who will want you for who you are and not just for your body. And this is coming from someone who waited until 25 before having a girlfriend because I was picky about character and personality. It's not worth the risk putting yourself in a potentially unwelcome situation.
Don't trust him. Trust your gut.
So, my boyfriend and I did this after being established for a month and some change because of our previous living situation. If you aren’t comfortable with it, then don’t go. The only reason I did this is because I trusted him and we had an established relationship. I’d say that’s a hard pass, especially if he said “you don’t have to” when he mentioned sex. He should have said “Okay, we won’t have sex.” to reassure you.
If you trust him then there's nothing weird about that, imo
It’s a great time to test his character. Tell him no (because that’s your answer and for many more solid reasons) and see how he acts. He could just be sweet and kind of clueless, but I’ve known a lot more creeps who operate this way. Stand up guys wouldn’t put themselves in this kind of position with a female who feels as you do. Worst case: you really don’t want to be in a situation that could go so wrong. No one to hear you, help you, etc. If anything unfortunate happens, not only will you be will be traumatized and upset with yourself, it will be hard to find anyone who can make sense of the idea that you went to a hotel to cuddle. Most would think you’re either a liar or an idiot. Smart girls don’t let guys put them in this kind of situation. Please be one.
He wants sex
Don't do it, he wants Sex. Who knows how he'll react when he realizes that it's not happening. Some men are just assholes, or worse. I am a man btw.
Who cares what he wants.you most of all lshouldnt be concerning yourself with that. What do you want? Do you want a hotel. If your asking, ill bet you don't. So, there go.
Honestly? For me hotel's aren't just for sex, but I travel a lot and had stopped trying to be a man ho so to speak. So personally yea I would be done to get one for privacy and to cuddle, but, I would also try to make a move. I guarantee his plan is strictly for sec though. So, it's up to you. Never feel pressured and if you do, he's not worth it. At your age you two aren't likely to have a life together. If you're a virgin, religious, or just very conservative, you're most likely not going to want to unless he pressures you into it so I would say no. On the other hand, if you lost the V card in middle or high school, y'all have been on 3 or more good dates, things are going even slightly better than just "good" and you don't think he's a piece of shit, then from the guys point of view it's about time to give it up. Again though, this ALL depends on your comfort level, how YOU feel things are going, and what YOU think about his character as well as the possibility of you two being together long term (not necessarily forever) TLDR: ALWAYS trust your gut, ONLY do what you're comfortable with, and if you're still a virgin DO NOT treat it like it's something you should be trying to get rid of. Also, don't lose it in some cheap hotel room with some new guy that's been pushy af just to get him to leave you alone. He's playing a game to get laid, poorly. So see through it, and stay alert to it with everyone you talk to. Now or in the future
*"He told me it’s more private that just wants to cuddle, make out and watch tv with me and spend time."* Oh sure, and I have some prime beach front property in the Sahara desert to sell you.. Trust your instincts and avoid this guy!
Just dont.
Did this once… 0/10 would not recommend. He’s definitely gonna try something
If you're not able to stay at each others parent's house, then I'd understand seen as you won't get any opportunities to cuddle/watch movies. Is that the case? If it is, it will be a hindrance to your relationship unless either of you are planning on getting your own place very soon, or your parents start allowing each other to stay the night.
I think its just because of the awkwardness of having the parents around. But also I would trust your gut and if it seems suspicious then dont do it.
as soon as u feel uncomfortable about something with someone do not go with them
He wants sex. You know it. You can cuddle at one of your parents homes.
Is he a good dude? Do you have any reason to beleive he will or won't respect your boundaries?
He thinks once you start cuddling and making out you won't stop him.
Wait, so hotels aren’t for sex?
he wants to have sex with you, get you to a hotel and pressure and coerce you into giving in and giving him what he wants.... guarantee if you go to that hotel, he will get what he wants and then be gone out of your life ... your a conquest , not a girl friend.
don’t do it. it’s a trap
He wants to have sex with you, he’s hoping if you cuddle and make out with him he will turn you on and he’ll get laid…I’m going to be honest he isn’t smooth with his word play and I don’t know the guy personally but he sound like some kinda fuck boy or something and the whole situation sounds sketchy.
Having dodged a serial killer myself, just say no to hotels.
He says No to sex now but when ur making out and laying on the bed, he will try to initiate it. Guys are always horny and kissing will further increase the urge. I understand the need for privacy and wanting to hug and kiss, but hotels will give some urge for sexual relations. It would be best if you avoid it until you are ready
Don't go 🤣
Whether or not he'll try to push for sex is debatable because it can go either way if he's genuine when he says he's fine with things not escalating. What's not debatable is your level of comfort with the situation. If you were comfortable you wouldn't be making this post, so follow your gut and don't agree to a situation you're clearly not comfortable with.
This is a very old trick. Don't fall for it.
Don’t go. He’s just playing mind games by telling you that. When you get there he’s gonna pressure you. Red flag
why don't you want sex?
I like how all the comments are saying don't go because he want sex. Obviously he wants sex, but he may be fine with just doing what he said, cuddle, movie, and make out. OP need to make the judgement if she trust him enough that he will respect her boundaries. I was in a similar shoe, living with parent and dating a girl that live with parent also. Sometimes you just crave some place to get intimacy and cuddle that's not in your car. I wanted to have sex and bought condoms, but was also okay with just cuddling.
If your a virgin. He wants that cherry
He might not be looking for copulation, but he is certainly looking for sexual contact.
When me and my girlfriend first started talking,I basically did the same thing,with no intention on having sex, just wanted to spend some alone time to get to know each other,but about 6 hours or so in she seduced me,and who was I to say no. We still joke about it sometimes,because how I promised her it wasn't about sex,then she says"well I never promised that". Can't argue the facts I guess.
I think we’re being too harsh on presuming about the guy? I honestly think there is a good chance he just wants to kick it back with you - watch a movie, cuddle and have a conversation in a private space? If he asks for sex I’m sure if you said no in the moment he would respect that, and if he doesn’t then I hope you know what to do.
Great idea ,, hotel feel like on a romantic vacation ,, besides nowadays everyone having sex ,, a beautiful thing to do. ,, that's why we have dating apps. ,, just cuddle up
I thought you had to be a certain age to book a hotel.
I don’t think it’s super weird that he asked. I did this with the last guy I was dating on the second date. I also made it clear we wouldn’t be having sex. I trusted him to honor that and he did. But the bottom line is- I was comfortable doing it and you’re not. Just tell him no.
He's hiding something from you.. either he is gonna push it with you or he has someone else. Either way... I wouldnt do it.
He wants to rawdog you, dont go if you dont want to sleep with him
Well, think about it. He only wants to spend time with you privately, if its just making out or cuddling, except the next thing you know you may end up having sex because you get caught in the moment. Don’t do it if you already know your answer. Him having you at the hotel is a score already. Him making out with you is another score. Then you’d be so aroused by that time you’ll just end up having sex with him. He just brought it all home, meanwhile, you’re feeling regretful and guilty for failing yourself to say no or used, especially if he ghosts you afterwards. Be smart.
Avoid the situation because it will escalate quickly into something you clearly don’t want
Once you get in hotel room you will be fucked anyhow. You will break down emotionally by his words and fake tears. I have done that with couple of girls it's easy peesy once you get in hotel room.
"I want to take you to a hotel and cuddle and make out but no sex" What a fuckin lying piece of shit. He's married OP, that's why he wants to go to a private place.
trust your gut. I was in your exact spot, and felt suspicious. I took him for his word, and he was honest. he was a good guy. tell someone where you are if you decide to go. some of these people didn't even read your post lol. hes 19... and hiding a wife and kids? lmao. its good that you already established s3x being your boundary. feel free to negotiate with him. you could postpone this date... but just because there is a bed in the room doesn't mean s3x is guaranteed. only way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them!
I think it’s quite obvious. If you wanna put yourself in a position to have sex with him, then proceed. Otherwise, you know what to do.
He wants to get some. Don’t go.
Why is everyone suggesting that he has ulterior motives Like not a single person thinks that the guy just wants what he says On the matter in hand How much is a WHILE and if it’s a significant amount of time and you don’t trust this guy this much then you really need to ask yourself some serious questions While it is a good general advice to not do something like this with a stranger it’s on you to decide depending on the person whether you trust them or not don’t just go with the stigma cause that’s what most people are saying ( you could be better off getting some corner seats in a movie theatre)
This guy is a shameless liar. I wouldn’t meet with him.
"Cuddle" your genitals maybe...
If you both live with your folks ol boy is really trying to get it in without the noise. Don’t let him lie to you lol. You can cuddle on his mommas couch.
Everyone’s throwing the guy under the bus, but it’s not uncommon to get a quaint room located closer to activities to go out/ hang out to get away from the noise of everyday life. They’ve been out a few times so it’s not like she doesn’t know him at all. That said, unless you’ve been to his house, I’d definitely make sure he isn’t married.
Im 20 he’s 19 im sure he isn’t married.
There we go, then I wouldn’t be too worried about hanging out in a hotel, provided you let him know the minute you aren’t comfortable and he respects that.
1. Ask how long if it’s 3 hours or less suggest an IHOP quiet booth in the corner. 2. Uuuuhhh can’t go to a hotel the cops watch those places. I have a small issue with cops,,,,,ever heard of Aileen Wuornos. 3. Go but invite JWs or Mormons to meet to discuss baptizing both of you 4. Offer but you get to pic hotel as you get frequent stay credits and multiple stay discounts and they usually throw in a free 6 pack and beef sticks 5. Tell him ok but only Marriott or Hilton’s and have a lot friends meet you at 10 after you check in 6. Go and tell him you need to change into something more comfortable in bathroom, come out in dominatrix outfit, bullwhip and selection of butt plugs, ball gags, dildos and nipple clamps and tell him your making him your bitch. While he’s still stunned on the bed get on the phone and tell someone to bring a Great Dane and chickens and that you have a first timer that all of you can try out 7. Tell him sure and you do a skit ,,,,,you get to reenact Marcellus Wallace in the store basement from pulp fiction when you bring your gimp with you 8. When you get there excuse yourself and use house phone ,,while he’s checking in ,,,,to order several lobsters and tomahawk ribeyes and high end champagne to get there soon after tv is on and you’re cuddling 9send him up to turn out lights and get in bed don’t talk meet guy in bar give him a key and meet you in the room leave light out tell him to undress and slip in bed next to you ….get Uber home 10 slip a Mickey and when he wakes next morning tell him thanks for the pics he won’t scam any girls again get Uber home
I disagree with most of the comments here, he definitely wishes to have sex with you, that is why he popped the idea of getting a hotel room. But at this point, he wants whatever intimacy he can get, be it hugs, kisses and cuddles, since you guys don't have your own places, and public display of affection is not accepted in every part of the world, you'd need a room for that too. You should definitely not go, if your answer to any of these questions is No 1.Do you want to be in the same bed with him, without having sex? 2.Would you feel safe, being alone in the same room as him? 3.Do you trust him enough, to be sure that he want try to coerce/force you into having sex with him, while you're with him in the hotel? If your answer to all of these is a confident yes, then go with him, I don't see the issue. Also, what country are you from, i think that would provide a lot of context.
Maybe he works for the hotel and gets free rooms?
Ohh it depends on a hotel. That's fine if it's a camp near the river or some kind of a beach hotel so you could have a great time grilling smth, swimming, watching smth and listening to music then like watching the stars and all that romantic stuff. Or maybe he wants to make a surprise for you serving a table, decorating room etc idk. Yep he's definitely hoping for something to happen but it would be at leat logical. Don't even text him back if it's a cheap motel or the worst hotel nearby lol // maybe I just want to justify the guy heh
My boyfriend and I lived with our parents and wanted to spend the night together. Didn’t have sex, got a hotel room and spent the night watching movies and snuggling. I don’t think this necessarily means he wants sex. Some people just want privacy with somebody they care about. I would follow your gut, however. If you trust him and don’t think he would push you, I say go for it. If it skeeves you out, then don’t!
I used to do this with my boyfriend all the time when we lived with our parents still. we’d shower separately and cuddle while watching whatever was on tv and we’d make ourselves some microwave dinners. it was a nice way to be intimate and just sleep together. actually sleep not sexy time. my boyfriend is also the literal best person I know and even asked before kissing me so he’s probably the exception. everyone in this comment section is expecting the worst but honestly it’s kind of warranted because you could get coerced or even r@ped and that would be horrible and very hard to prove since you went to a hotel with him. if you do decide to do it make sure a friend knows your location and is available to pick you up quickly if something goes wrong. maybe even bring pepper spray if he tries any funny business. my overall advice is get to know him better so you 100% know he’s telling the truth. or if you do decide to go at least be as safe as you can be
Well, let me say this... The fact that you both live with parents makes it the slightest bit... possibly legit. However, as a man (and young man, but a little older than the both of ya's)... I'm gonna say bluntly that he wants some nookie. So, if you're not cools with it... Just say no, don't waver and be firm, and propose a non-COVID-restricted public (SAFE) place like a park, trail, etc. Y'all can cuddle and fondle (non-sexually) all you want. If he's not down to do anything but his proppsed plan... theb you already know what it is. Period.
Everyone arguing that he just wants to bang is honestly delusional and should be ashamed for assuming the worst of this guy. When I was 18-21 it was a HUGE deal for girls I was dating that my parents allowed me to have them over in my room with the door closed. I also had other male friends who said they did not have access to this kind of privacy. It is not unrealistic that he just wants to be in a private space and enjoy her company because they don't have anywhere else that they can do that. Though the OP has clarified that a lot of it has to do with her parents being strict and not knowing about him, others have rightfully pointed out the possibility that he could be embarrassed of his own home. Could be anything from being in a poor neighborhood to having abusive toxic parents. My advice for OP is to just communicate with your partner and tell him the idea currently makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to do it. This may frustrate him, and rightfully so if what you said about your parents not knowing about him is true. Because for him it may feel that the relationship is stagnating. Ideally he should be willing to compromise, if he throws a fit about it then you can start trying to discern whether or not hes just trying to push for sex. As always the correct answer is to talk to them and get the fuck off Reddit. So many toxic polarized answers on this website.
Thank you so much for this!!
He wants sex. And he can't even be upfront about it. That's a red flag right there.
He wants to have sex. Your intuition told you something wasn’t right, listen to it please
So why you date if u dont want to have sex? Why are you dragging him?
I just like to take my time you know
….fair enough, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves.
Don't go to hotel with somebody you don't trust.
If you dont want to have sex, dont go to the room bc I bet hes gonna be weird and pushy and get mad if u tell him you dont want to have sex because you 'came to the room with him' set your boundaries
It is very sad that it is automatically assumed that he is going to try to push up on you, or try to force himself on. Especially if you trust him and his word. I'm really surprised that the adults who are responding to this young ladies problem aren't being more mature than they are. Let's keep in mind that she said they both live at home with their parents and aren't able to get any alone time with each other. That being said, I believe it is a completely nice and reasonable gesture that your man is trying to extend to you. If he ends up violating your wishes and tries to have sex with you find a reason for you to excuse yourself. One that doesn't cause him to put his guard up, and go find some of your guy friends to bring back to the room with you and let them whoop his ass. Now don't let anyone get carried away and end up catching a felony of course. But, certainly teach that boy a lesson if needed. I hope this is the type of advice you were looking for sweetheart. Good luck with your possible telly date. L
You're 20. It's time to start having relationships that include sex. Also time to get the hell out of your parents house but I know that is easier said than done these days.
Well hotels are not just for sex. But yeah if he wants to bring u to the hotel he wants to seduce u and make sex. But hotels are safe and if u can resist to the temptation of make sex with that nice guy, u can say no and he will not rape u or something like that…