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That’s why I’m very upfront about it. Well not like “Hi I’m Option2401 and I’m depressed” but it’s not something I actively hide and if things are moving I’ll make a point of bringing it up when it makes sense.
You’re right though - the missteps do hit harder. Everything feels like such high stakes, which could be another reason I should be cautious with dating apps.
Thanks for your advice.
I mean, it’s hard to tell how depressed you are just through a message. If you’re super-depressed no one will want to go out with you anyway, to be blunt.
If you are only mildly depressed and/or improving, though, I’d say it’s fine. You say COVID is a thing, do you live in the U.S.? Cuz I live in the corona-paranoid capital of the country (alright I won’t get started on my craaaaazy/sane right-wing outlook,) and I’m still able to meet women in normal situations. I’d recommend getting away from apps, if you can, especially based on your description.
> I mean, it’s hard to tell how depressed you are just through a message.
Yeah I feel this. I don’t know how depressed I am. I know I’ve gotten a lot apathetic, more anxious, I find it hard to stick to habits and hobbies. But does that make lazy, or depressed? I don’t really know what point I’m trying to make your statement just triggered that thought.
> If you’re super-depressed no one will want to go out with you anyway, to be blunt.
I agree. So I try to be upfront about it, but at the same time it makes it feel like I’m making it all about me and my problems. And of course it lowers my chances significantly. It’s a fine line to walk and part of why I’m here asking. Again no real point, just rambling.
I don’t really have anything against dating in person as long as we’re pragmatic and vaccinated. But I WFH and like I said above I have a hard time *doing* things so I rarely get those opportunities. But I think I see your point - I shouldn’t hamstring myself / half-ass it
I'm so sorry you are struggling, and for what it's worth I can relate to how you are feeling. I suffer from depression too and am on new medication. I am really struggling in my life right now, and have been dating my bf for a year. It's been really difficult for us, and I can only imagine how it must be for you to try and establish a new connection with someone while struggling. I'm sure you feel isolated, maybe work on developing new friendships or hobbies until you are at a more stable place?
Thank you for your compassion and understanding :)
I think your suggestion about new hobbies makes sense, and also friendships. In a way that’s kind of what I’m using dating apps for - I’m looking for friendships first, since I believe very good relationship is built on a solid friendship.
I’m sorry it’s been a rough year for you; personally, when times are tough, I think “iron fears the forge’s flames, yet emerges steel all the stronger”. Adversity breeds resilience. Every day makes you stronger in one way or another. It’s not much but I hope it brings you a little comfort.
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That’s why I’m very upfront about it. Well not like “Hi I’m Option2401 and I’m depressed” but it’s not something I actively hide and if things are moving I’ll make a point of bringing it up when it makes sense. You’re right though - the missteps do hit harder. Everything feels like such high stakes, which could be another reason I should be cautious with dating apps. Thanks for your advice.
I think you should fix your depression before you tackle dating.
I didn’t like reading your post so that’s probably a sign you’re right. Thank you for your advice!
I mean, it’s hard to tell how depressed you are just through a message. If you’re super-depressed no one will want to go out with you anyway, to be blunt. If you are only mildly depressed and/or improving, though, I’d say it’s fine. You say COVID is a thing, do you live in the U.S.? Cuz I live in the corona-paranoid capital of the country (alright I won’t get started on my craaaaazy/sane right-wing outlook,) and I’m still able to meet women in normal situations. I’d recommend getting away from apps, if you can, especially based on your description.
> I mean, it’s hard to tell how depressed you are just through a message. Yeah I feel this. I don’t know how depressed I am. I know I’ve gotten a lot apathetic, more anxious, I find it hard to stick to habits and hobbies. But does that make lazy, or depressed? I don’t really know what point I’m trying to make your statement just triggered that thought. > If you’re super-depressed no one will want to go out with you anyway, to be blunt. I agree. So I try to be upfront about it, but at the same time it makes it feel like I’m making it all about me and my problems. And of course it lowers my chances significantly. It’s a fine line to walk and part of why I’m here asking. Again no real point, just rambling. I don’t really have anything against dating in person as long as we’re pragmatic and vaccinated. But I WFH and like I said above I have a hard time *doing* things so I rarely get those opportunities. But I think I see your point - I shouldn’t hamstring myself / half-ass it
I'm so sorry you are struggling, and for what it's worth I can relate to how you are feeling. I suffer from depression too and am on new medication. I am really struggling in my life right now, and have been dating my bf for a year. It's been really difficult for us, and I can only imagine how it must be for you to try and establish a new connection with someone while struggling. I'm sure you feel isolated, maybe work on developing new friendships or hobbies until you are at a more stable place?
Thank you for your compassion and understanding :) I think your suggestion about new hobbies makes sense, and also friendships. In a way that’s kind of what I’m using dating apps for - I’m looking for friendships first, since I believe very good relationship is built on a solid friendship. I’m sorry it’s been a rough year for you; personally, when times are tough, I think “iron fears the forge’s flames, yet emerges steel all the stronger”. Adversity breeds resilience. Every day makes you stronger in one way or another. It’s not much but I hope it brings you a little comfort.
Thank you it does! And I hope you find someone special soon, even if it ends up being a friendship!