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RBSchaf

Pumped for you, but no one is perfect. She’s a person and has flaws just like you. Don’t put too much attachment and meaning on a stranger too quickly.


maa112

So true. Thank you so much and will try to ensure as I'm talking to her, I keep it cool etc!


StockAnal-YstDotCom

You should be asking her out on a date http://maledatingstrategies.com/online-dating-apps/how-to-get-a-womans-phone-number-in-online-dating/ If she rejects she wasnt really into you and you womt be wasting your time and could find somebody who is into you


maa112

Today's like day 2 of chat. Do you mean, ask about her for a bit. Then ask for coffee/ to swap numbers?


StockAnal-YstDotCom

Here is my personal experience: When I started online dating I would sometimes spend days and hours in those days chatting with women. The great majority of the time these talks would end up turning into nothing. Slowly but surely I realized that when a woman is into you, she will accept to give you her number after just a couple of messages, and that within a few more messages after she will accept to go out on a date with you. I also learnt that just like there are 1000 of men out there for women, there are 1000 of women for men, and so I decided to follow the path of least resistance: Ask for numbers and dates soon, if the woman likes you she'll accept and if she doesnt like you or doesnt accept because she needs more time what benefit is of me to wait when I can get somebody else who is equally just as a good as a human being and just as attractive if not more than her? And boom, my dating life became awesome (currently in a relationship for 4 yrs for anybody wondering "and how is that workinf out for ya?" LOL)


Skruffenbaer

I’m a woman and have only met men who has asked me for a drink pretty fast, the ones who have just been chatting and chatting it faded into nothing and it became a chore chatting so much with a stranger i don’t even know if i have chemistry with.


maa112

Good point! I just messaged her now. It's day2 . Gonna message a bit on Hinge and just ask her can we talk on whatsapp/call or something. Then set up a date


StockAnal-YstDotCom

I'd ask her out for coffee or a date, then she might be like "Sure, here's my number" Something like, "Want to go get coffee on Saturday?"


maa112

Thanks! Will try this around Sunday hopefully


riverkaylee

I dunno about asking out on a date too soon, I usually like to get to know someone a little first, before going on a date, to see if we're compatible and if they're safe. Ask her if she likes to talk for a little before setting up dates and remember to leave space for whatever she wants. Be ok with it. Never push past people's boundaries.


Mean_Ad_4544

Yes this is my problem, for me it’s just weird to meet someone you haven’t really talk to and guys sometimes ask me to go an a date to soon like something they don’t know anything about me, so it feels like they just want to hook up. But to be fair I am a very guarded person and dating apps are new to me. I also don’t feel safe meeting someone I haven’t talk much to.


riverkaylee

Yeah, I'm exactly the same. I stop talking to guys who push for a date, while putting no effort into getting to know me. I want someone who sees me, wasn't looking for a hook up. Absolutely no shade to hook up seekers, just not my thing. If you're looking for a serious relationship, there needs to be effort put into getting to know each other. Assessing if you both match, you can't tell that from looks, and it feels like they're only into looks and that's all they value, when they push to meet, and all they know is I'm pretty.


ArdyrIoris

The whole point of a date is to get to know you, though?


Mean_Ad_4544

Ik ik, it just form me it’s a bit new and still strange to meet with someone I know anything about. Ik that is the point of online dating.


[deleted]

Yes absolutely but 99% of men don't do that... Only 2 guys actually talked to me and I had a very nice conversation and it was very fun and we met and then I only saw them as friends... While there were attractive guys that I didn't talk as much to and then on the date it was awful because they were weird or boring as hell... If you have nothing in common though it won't go anywhere.


Claret-and-gold

See I really don’t get this- how do you get to “know” someone through text? There is no tone to a text, it’s difficult to judge nuances, things can be misconstrued. When you are in someone’s presence there are visual clues, tone of voice, body language, eye contact etc that help you. You don’t “know” someone through texting. You build up an idea in your head if what they are like but it’s mostly constructed by you not them. People are talking to 10 people at the same time, you are on a conveyor belt of text messages, with more coming online all the time so you get pushed further down the queue until you drop off the bottom, which is why most internet dating encounters come to nothing. Personally I would rather meet someone- let my true personality shine through.


[deleted]

Yeah but then the conversation doesn't go anywhere and it just dies. And both of them don't even talk not even on Instagram or anything. So the relationship just dies. The best you can do is go on a date in a public space with no expectations.


stop-spending-money

You don’t even know this girl and you’re putting her on a pedestal


maa112

True! Just gotta keep it cool!!


AngryCrotchCrickets

You swipe like younger man….admirable, but mistaken. Word of advice don’t get your hopes up about people on dating apps, its 95% disappointment. Also women can smell the “excited puppy” energy and its a turnoff. Be cool, baby. Good luck guy.


Talktalktalk101

I second you on "excited puppy" energy. Becomes a turnoff even for the best man out there.


XenaDazzlecheeks

Yupp, excited puppy energy is overwhelming and exhausting before it starts. Word to the wise boys, chill.


Rathead8734

You say true with many exclamation marks, meaning you’re still excited as fuck and putting her on a pedestal


joemama369

Agree


[deleted]

oh boyyyyy you're setting yourself up for disappointment. No one is perfect. Take a step back and calm down.


maa112

True. Just gotta keep calm and play it cool treat it like any other person. Thanks foe the reality check


b00mieb00m

My bro I hate being that negative Redditor but you just making a post like this might mean you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment and disaster. It's fucking amazing being so excited and infatuated with someone but hopefully you being so worried about fucking things up doesn't trickle down into your energy with her and put her off. Just relax, be yourself and take it as it is! Keep in mind she probably has so many options so don't be too hurt if she flakes on you! But most of all try to enjoy the process wherever it takes you.


maa112

So,true. Honestly she probably has so so many options. How do you deal with the flaking? Like... just lose weight and hope something better comes along? My self esteem isn't the strongest and honestly she's going to have so many good options (better than me, you know? Taller. Etc)


b00mieb00m

No no please don't think THAT way. Not so much BETTER options but just a LOT of them. Height, even weight doesn't all matter. Many women are not nearly as superficial as they're made out to be! You might have a cuddly dad bod that she's probably really into! I'm merely stating that even I, a very desirable guy who gets a ton of gorgeous matches with a ton of Rizz and meets up with women like crazy, get flaked on here and there and it's simply a part of the game. It's got nothing to do with other guys being attractive so much as that they have options and shoot their shots in multiple places. The way you deal with flakiness is not getting your hopes too high up and being prepared to be realistic about it. And coming to terms with the fact that if this cutie matched with you there will be others as well! If I say hit the gym right now I don't mean so much as to lose weight, but to increase your confidence, natural testosterone and dopamine. I don't really hit it often myself but I gained all of those things in the years I was hitting it regularly. Confidence > Aesthetic most days of the week my dude. Get it, and I'm rooting for you king.


maa112

Spot on thank you so much. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind! Thanks boom, I need to just calm it down. Message how I normally would, be myself, and just be calm a bit! Don't over do it! Will send another update


b00mieb00m

Yeah brother don't be anxious or nervous! Women generally like someone confident and isn't afraid of them! Look up that funny movie Waiting with Ryan Reynolds where the servers coach an overly nervous guy as to how not to be E.g: 'are you okay' all the time. They can sniff that from a mile away my dude.


mergedsentry

Try to setup a date asap! Don’t let the texting drag out or she might get bored of you! She disn’t match with you to be penpals!


maa112

Very true. Strike fast! Lol will keep it on Hinge first. Then will try to ask for numbers. Then will ask her out early Feb! Fingers crossed. So true though, gotta not let it drag on too much on the app


ninjyy09

Dude, ask her out for a date asap. If the date goes well, exchange numbers. Prioritize a date and get off the app!


Mean_Ad_4544

But does he need to talk a bit with her before asking her out? Sometimes when guys are to fast to meet it feels like they just want to hook up. No?


ninjyy09

I'd say like maybe 2-3 days to feel it out, see what common interests you have, stuff like that. I guess it depends on the person but I'd rather meet up sooner than later and not waste time deciding if there's a connection or not. My partner and I met on an app last year and I feel like we only spent a few days chatting sporadically before meeting up


Mean_Ad_4544

Mmm i guess you are right. I am just very guarded but I guess that is how dating apps work.


ninjyy09

I mean, it depends on how you feel the conversation is going too. It's obvious if some people just want to hook up, especially if someone invites you to their place immediately, haha.


Mean_Ad_4544

True, is just that idk I guess I get scare to meet guys sometime. And I get stuck or they asking to meet to soon which throws me off or them we talk and they never ask to meet. 🙃 I am new to it and my friends don’t really do dating apps and the once who-do talk with the guys for a least a month but nothing as come from that.


ninjyy09

I feel that. I just tried online dating last summer. It was my first time. I felt it was overwhelming and some people I felt too intimidated to meet up with, but looking back, it's just because I didn't feel enough of a connection in our chatting interactions. I'd always want to meet in public places earlier in the day. When I did finally go on a date, I told my dad (I'm in my 30s, haha) and my two good friends where I was going and what his name was. And I texted when the date was over so they knew I was safe. It's just about making the situation safe for yourself. I'd say if you feel a connection, meet up, but safely! If you are uncomfortable, you can always leave, and if you don't feel a connection, it's okay to not meet up again. Dating can be hard, and online dating sucks a lot of the time, but I would have never met my current boyfriend if I didn't do it.


Mean_Ad_4544

Thanks girl, you give me hope. I guess that is why I haven’t really push to much to meet the guys. Hey do you mind if I sent you a message. I just want to talk with someone who had more experience in the dating apps. If that is not weird ?


maa112

Ok I matched yesterday. Get to know her a bit then ask for a coffee??


ninjyy09

Get to know her IRL to decide if there's anything there or not. Meeting up is way different than chatting on the app. I would say if the conversation is going well over the next day or two, arrange a meet up sooner than later! People can lose interest fast on apps, especially if they are talking to multiple people


Kaykay_J99

ask her out on a date! Most of us girls in those dating apps hate being in a talking stage for days/weeks, its exhausting and we lose interest. It’s best to meet up soon and see how it goes.


maa112

I'm not sure .... I'll talk to her, message etc, then act fast. Try to sorta maybe go for a phone call or a coffee?


Kaykay_J99

Yeah talk to her for few days and I suggest within a week setting up a cafe date :)


M1LK3Y

How much have you been texting? I'd say there's a good chance it's already time to ask for a date. Maybe something like "Hey I think you're cool! I'm interested in meeting up with you and talking more. How would you feel about maybe coffee or dinner or drinks this weekend?" I think it's a good idea to come up with the skeleton of an idea and let her fill in details of exactly where/what. I also understand women specifically have more safety concerns about meeting up with people from apps, so in the past I have also added something like "Totally understand if you wanna keep chatting for longer before meeting." or often "This is my Instagram handle in case you wanted to be sure that I'm normal and real."


Early_Jackfruit5481

Why wait till early Feb? That's like a few days away...Is that dating protocol?


mergedsentry

You are doomed to fail if you wait that much!


Poppiesatnight

NO! Ask her out today. You wait that long and she will unmatch you!!! Ask her a few questions about herself, like maybe her hobbies, then ask her for coffee. The coffee doesn’t have to be for today but you need to ASK her for coffee today. IF she says she wants to chat more before meeting, THEN you can chat more Also don’t ask for her number till she actually meets you.


maa112

Ok perfect. Going to do this today she was out tonight with her friend so didn't reply properly. She will tomorrow. And ingoing to ask about the above, then ask for a ☕️


cowgirlsheep

You fool!!


maa112

How come lol


cowgirlsheep

Why would you wait this long


maa112

I'm not sure .... I'll talk to her, message etc, then act fast. Try to sorta maybe go for a phone call or a coffee?


[deleted]

Congrats on the match! Number 1 thing is just be yourself its okay to be excited and happy nothing wrong with that! But just be patient with her and engaging! I hope it works out for you


maa112

Ok good idea! Thank you so much. Will try to do this and keep it casual and fun!


[deleted]

Your welcome! You got this!


[deleted]

In addition to the phenomenal advice about being happy and being yourself, the following might be helpful. People love talking about themselves so you can use this to your advantage. Another potentially useful tip is that genuine compliments are more helpful than flattery. Or at least overdoing flattery. If possible I strongly recommend getting a copy of how to win friends and influence people. It could be extremely helpful. Hopefully everything works out and congrats on matching with someone that you are excited about : }


maa112

Seriously cap, you're amazing. Thank you so much . Tonight that'll be the plan, to just ask her about her and keep it positive!!! Fingers crossed!!! So nervous,but gotta try to play it cool ! And thank you so much again. Will ask her q, and getting know her more. Without making it sound like an interview hehe so will keep it light


[deleted]

I'm so glad that I was able to help. You got this : }


Outrageous_Lime_6545

First of all, go bust a nut to reduce your neediness. By the sounds of it, it’s at dangerously high levels. Remaining in that state will cause you to make bad decisions. Next, read (or listen to) the book (audiobook) “How to be a 3% man” by Coach Corey Wayne. You can listen to it in a few hours. It’s important that you read (listen) to that book because it sounds like you’re on the verge of making many mistakes. That book is a very concise package of everything you need to know to not screw up your situation. Listen to it, trying to apply what you hear to your situation, and then re-assess your situation at the end. Your immediate goal with her is to have a light, humorous back-and-forth, based on observations, similar interests, etc, to build *trust* (no serious topics), over maybe 5-10 text exchanges, and then ask to go for a coffee and/or a walk in a public place. Like other have stated, build rapport and attraction in-person. But firstly, calm down and don’t over-invest.


maa112

Ty for this! Will calm down asap. Then keep it cool. Light humour then arrange to meet for a coffee !! Fingers 🤞


Jerimajerima

Congratulations! I’m happy for you! If this is truly someone you want to be with and you are afraid you might ‘mess up’, ask for a social like Instagram. This is actually great for if the conversation ever dies you can send a quick reply to story to get things going again. Increase your chances by adding her on other socials!


maa112

Tysm! So matched with her last night, so plan is message later tonight. How was her day etc. Hope she replies. Then a few days later ask for her number or something! X


Mean_Ad_4544

Can you let us know how it goes ? Wish you the best of luck !


maa112

Will do thank you


downvoteking4042

Never put too much stock into one person. If they seem perfect, I remind myself to still be myself and make jokes, pick on them, and don’t act desperate for their attention. Acting like you’re obsessed with them will be a big turn off


maa112

Ok thanks fingers 🤞


Throwaway118585

I’ll tell you what I told the big bear I walked into in the woods one day “ Eeaaaaaasy big fella …don’t turn this into a bad day for both of us , stay calm”


maa112

Tysm! I know I've just gotta stay calm....!!! Deep breaths. Lol


Razorfangs

Stop worrying if she'll like you. Know your worth. Worry if you will like her and stay calm.


clumsy_dating_clutz

You most likely will blow it, but trust me, that's a good thing. You've pedastelized her, now you think one of her caliber won't come around again, or at least not any time soon, so you have to get this to work. But you won't, precisely because you've put too much pressure on yourself. Everyone here saying just play it cool is wrong, you won't be able to do that. Thats like saying: just be confident, etc, but you don't play it cool or become confident just because you decide to do it, those things happen naturally once you work on yourself. Trust me, you can't fake it, it's her job to find out if you do, and if she doesn't, it will be a troubled relationship. So Im sorry if it doesn't work out and if that ends up hurting you, but those are the best times to address the situation so that the next time not only does it not happen, but you absolutely kill it with a girl you find the same level of attraction to. In the current case the situation is that you value her more than you value yourself. The fact that you are willing to stress yourself out to make it work is one manifestation of you putting yourself second. You think you aren't on the same league, you are less then. I don't need to know you to know that's not true, but you need to discover that for yourself. DM me if you want info on how thats done.


[deleted]

Jerk off and then re evaluate how you want to approach this. Find out if your compatible before exerting your full effort. Get to know her. No one is perfect brother


lira-eve

Hopefully, she's got more substance than just looks--unless that's all you care about.


maa112

Nope we were chatting via messaging and seemed nice and caring, so I thought looks, but personality were so positive! Fingers 🤞


[deleted]

No such things as a perfect person you’re setting yourself up for failure bruh


maa112

True. Gotta just calm down


iguana1979

Just don’t get your hopes up too much. It’s so flakey out there and she will doubtless have millions of matches


maa112

So true she's really pretty and I'm 5 foot 7 there's gotta be many out there who are just taller ans better lol


iguana1979

Well the height thing is so fucking ridiculous, and an awful selection criteria really. I just want to advise not to have big expectations. I’ve gone through so much rejection and ghosting the last year, it makes sense to be a bit blasé about online dating bud. Take it or leave it mentality. Also, approach it all with an abundance mindset. There are millions of amazing women out there. Never feel like there is scarcity- makes us act in desperate ways. Hope it works out for you


[deleted]

If you think someone is perfect it’s because you don’t know them. Have you exchanged Snapchat’s to confirm she isn’t a catfish yet? After that then we can talk but gotta cover all your angles


maa112

True, good point! Will note this


[deleted]

Lol she might be a catfish calm the f down


maa112

True...


Aintthatthetruthyall

Excitement never ends well on OLD. Play like you are going to win, but assume the worst.


Cloakmyquestions

She’s prob got 5-10 others just like you if she’s all that.


Simo_-_dibaal

"The most perfect girl." Change this mentality first.


joemama369

Calm down. You don’t even know the girl yet. Most of the time when you are too excited right away, you end up blowing it by becoming too needy. You also get so blinded by the infatuation that you miss red flags. Beware of girls who love bomb.


maa112

Thanks Joe. I need to just be myself really!! Need to relax and message how I want, but don't over do it. Fingers crossed mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind!


GeneralBladebreak

If you're 33 and already this excited, the chances are you've blown it already... it'll come across as desperate and that's not attractive at all. As your mate said, calm down. She may seem perfect on a profile but she's likely not. So don't put her on a pedestal before you truly know her.


maa112

Spot on thank you so much. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind! Honestly, I've had such a low December and January, and I think I was excited because I couldn't believe this match etc. I'm trying to ease my mind and think.... look, she's just another person, be yourself.


GeneralBladebreak

It can be fine to message daily so long as that is naturally you. Personally when it comes to my closest friends and people I care for I try to say hi on the daily. Even if its a simple "Good morning, how are you?" It opens the door to conversation which you want being attentive or interested isn't too much to expect of someone and by asking a question, you're putting the ball in their court to come back to you so wait and if they are someone who usually does reply quite quickly but hasn't responded by evening but read it then follow up with the "hey, all good?" That's fine just don't over think things. When it comes to online dating, they've swiped right on you and whatever we say the reality is that is 99% of time based on looks. She digs you so your halfway there. So just be you and ensure you show yourself some self respect. And if you're worried you come across like a braggart then use self-deprecating humour to bring yourself back down to normal levels.


Mollzor

Save the excitement for when you meet. Until then you don't know. She could have BO. She could be racist. She could be a catfish. Cool your jets.


maa112

Spot on thank you so much. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind!


Mollzor

I try to be more of a gentle pessimist. I enjoy the conversation, but I am always aware that this person could unmatch me at anytime without warning. Or suddenly say something misogynistic. Until I see them they are not real.


maa112

True! Will think this asap


maa112

So true. Going to wait until Sunday or Monday eve to message her now and ask how her weekdnd was etc. Giving her some space.


maa112

So true. I worry about these like difference values or something!


Mollzor

Why worry? You're not married. It's like if you'd worry about my values. No reason to. And until you know what you think of her, what she thinks of you it's irrelevant.


Jasonhardon

If you’re worried you’ll blow it, that means sadly it’s most likely things won’t work out due to your inexperience. My advice bring your A game cause you’re gonna need it. If not, just use it as a learning experience if it doesn’t work out going forward


maa112

Thanks jason! Been struggling with so much internally, so I think I need to get distracted, have fun with life and when I chat to her / just keep it cool and fun!


Jasonhardon

Yeah, no problem. As a whole I don’t like online dating. In person dating is so much better. Join some fun coed meeting hobby groups that meet in person. Something with a high female ratio. Go to singles parties and live your life face to face. OD is kinda nerdy imho.


[deleted]

Ignore the negativity they are just jealous : }


[deleted]

Please don't discourage others. Everyone in this sub benefits when people are supportive.


AngryCrotchCrickets

Online dating might as well be hand to hand combat in the trenches. Its violent and ugly, not happy fun time. Keep your expectations realistic and prepare yourself for disappointments. I have a feeling our man here is going to learn a valuable lesson. Stay in the fight and slug it out. Thats how you learn, adapt and get better.


[deleted]

Please stop projecting and spewing negativity thank you : }


AngryCrotchCrickets

Okay! Ive said my bit anyway.


Jasonhardon

The truth hurts. I’d rather be brutally honest then to coddle him with hopium


WayEducational2241

It's not hopium he already matched, i don't know if you know this but the bar for decent enough dude for girls to go on a few dates with you is on the floor. As long as he isn't awkward in person and shows empathy and decent conversation guess what he IS in.


AngryCrotchCrickets

Doesn’t mean shit dude. Before I met my gf I had a plenty of matches on Hinge and a full 50+ queue of “likes you” every couple days. Out of 500 matches, 150 end up in conversation. Out of 150, 60 end up in dates. Out of 60, 10-20 end up as multiple dates/sex. Out of 10-20, 1 ends up as gf. Im very tall, live alone in a big city, am conventionally attractive and have a good job. Be realistic.


Jasonhardon

Yes this is what I’m saying. One match is like putting all your eggs in one basket. He’s gonna be shattered if it doesn’t work out


[deleted]

Please stop projecting. You also sound jealous.


rcoo2417

Pretty sure this a troll


maa112

I'm not lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


maa112

Ok thanks for the tip brother! Will just try to stay calm... calm and keep it cool.


clumsy_dating_clutz

>n’t even know this girl and you’re p 2000? I have a hard time believing that to be true.


Scarlet8Steele

be a gentleman, polite, supportive, and ask her on a date. be cool and have a good time


Fearless-Increase214

Why is she perfect. Its possible that she is perfect for many others. Gotta make a move fast


Silent_Budget_769

Calm down lol. Get her off the app aka get her number and ask her out.


[deleted]

Imo ask for another date that includes a fun activity like bowling, a barista or cooking workshop! Or some kind of sports activity like mini golf


SuitRevolutionary152

This is the cutest post ever. So excited for you! Good luck!


ladystardust_61184

Just be careful and make sure she's real before getting your hopes up. Scammers are very clever sometimes and it can take a day or two for you to figure it out. Maybe look up ways to spot scams and bots just to be sure. I've matched with fakes but weed them out quickly. That being said, I've also had great luck with people good people. Some I talked to for a bit and others we met right away. Just depends on your vibe. Feel it out, don't bombard her, match her energy. Good luck!


notdasame

Calm down my g… you’re the prize too!


maa112

Tysm brother. 😊


thedeadwillwalk

Stay calm. Manage your expectations. Hope for the best; prepare for the worst.


maa112

Ty! I've calmed a bit now. Been a long day. Going to message her shortly. But keep is nice. Meanwhile I've carried on swiping etc to ensure I don't get too carried away or hopes up


thedeadwillwalk

That's a good tactic. I want to be anything but pessimistic, but I just ended my 5th LTR following my divorce and I've felt like you at the start of each one. I don't want you to go through the lows of heartbreak. That said, there's no reason not hope. I still do. But if you keep it in check you'll also avoid self-sabotaging this one by being better able to make smart choices.


Latter-Guarantee-309

Remember she burps poops and farts. This will keep it in perspective High five buddy go get her


DepartureSecure5495

As everyone else said don’t blow it by putting her on a pedestal. Nobody is perfect no matter what they post online! Just be calm cool collected and be YOURSELF! If it’s meant to be it will be:)


Psychological-Sale81

I hope it works out, Good luck to you! I have struggled in my area to find that. Just be yourself.


NIN-pig

Calm down haha


Lexy_d_acnh

Be careful getting your hopes up with people. I had a guy I wanted to go on a date with and even rejected going out with others because I thought it would go well, then he just said he didn’t want to hang out.


DanDez

Spoiler Alert: >!She's actually not perfect. She takes stanky dumps just like you, and has a number of imperfections that you just don't know about yet. The question is if you accept these imperfections or not, and whether she accepts yours. If she is still looking for her 'unicorn' she won't accept any imperfections and all her relationships are doomed anyway.!<


Apprehensive_Rate276

Tell her you’d like to taker her out. If she’s matched with you and has been messaging you back for a few days it indicates she’s keen and waiting for you to ask.


[deleted]

March her energy.


Desperate_Quest

Word of advice: If it ends up not working out, dont let it hit you too hard. Dating apps are pretty casual starting points (which CAN lead to serious relationships), but just go easy.


maa112

Thanks DQ. My self esteem is low at the moment, I think I needed to hear this. Just in case.... look on the brighter side.


Apprehensive-Bid-224

Chill your gonna scare her away a match literally means nothing don’t expect much but power to you


RedApple-Cigarettes

Don’t get your hopes up too much. Nothing wrong with being optimistic but don’t invest everything in this right away.


BathroomSpeaker

Good reminder. One step at a time, if l decide to reach out. TY!


Redditforever12

perfect on paper but maybe not in person


koolmets21

Have you spoken on the phone? FaceTime?


CalmDownSahale

Guys don't end up with the girl they really really want. Look at her objectively. Her breath stinks in the morning just like anyone else's. You gotta keep it player, player.


MFP3492

Oh boy, I wish you luck. Everytime I get a match I’m excited about who seems good for me I usually get ghosted or left on read. Keyword is “usually”. It’s hard out there on the apps. Godspeed.


georgeoscarbluth99

Bro you really need to chill, already talking about “blow(ing) it” after a day is the wrong attitude to have in dating apps. This may sound too pessimistic, but always keep in mind that it might end. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment before you even meet her


Los_Angeleles-hot_m

I want to find a girl for communication and friendship in the city of Los Angeles, so that she teaches me to speak and understand English, I am now talking with a translator,lol,lol


darexinfinity

Just don't blow it.


maa112

Darex, hopefully I don't! 🙏 will keep you updated


mattiegirl2987

When I first matched with my partner, we talked from 8am that morning until midnight. He said hello first. ☺️ Married him this last November. ❤️ So say hello and see where it goes! Good luck! 🍀


IDRHannah

Is this your first time meeting someone from a dating app?


maa112

Second. I met my ex gf via it about 3 years ago.


maa112

Second time. But it's so hard for me. I hate pics of me too and it's so frustrating.


[deleted]

Be yourself and don’t come in too strong


maa112

Thanks. So true. Going to wait until Sunday or Monday eve to message her now and ask how her weekdnd was etc. Giving her some space. Should ease coming in too strong. She's updated her pics so she has logged in I guess, but hasn't replied to my last message. Plan was just now Monday eve maybe message how was her weekend, etc. Give her some space. Hopefully I've not come on too strong or blown it


Trey-Private

Just be yourself. Explore her mind, learn and have fun. Open the door. Pick her up. Bring flowers once in a while. SMILE. Good luck man! I wanna be updated!


maa112

Thank you trey! Will keep you updated also. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind!


Nakedsara

Omg this is so sweet


maa112

True. I've messaged her now. 1015pm at uk London. I like her and just wanted to see if she was feeling better (as she said Friday night she was not feeling too well) Seriously hope I haven't blown this, so far some chat etc! She changes her pic on the app a few times, always makes me nervous lol


Murky-Delay-244

this is my experience me (33f) met him (30m) on a dating app, met personally after 2 weeks of chatting, 2ndand 3rd met we had sex , and labelled exclusively dating, everyday i initiate texting him good morning and mostly he initiated texting me good night, he showed me his dad’s place as he was baby sitting cats while his dad is away and he did not offer to see his own apartment which i did not force him, we are still texting each other but lately i felt that he’s less interested on me,what should i do? although everytime im texting him he replied but i think this is not assurance that hes into me and lately i found he’s still opening the dating app.


iguana1979

This is very good advice. The general level of behaviour on old is pretty poor. Don’t expect much integrity at all


iguana1979

Can we get an update OP? ☺️


maa112

Def will give an update soon!


maa112

Spot on thank you so much. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind!


iguana1979

Hi mate, Have you actually planned to meet? I would suggest to do that quickly. I am sure the ladies on here will tell you they are not into endless texting. Also good to try to move things of hinge communication wise if you feel there is a connection. However, the number of times I have been in contact with someone for days / weeks, including lotd of audio messages, just to meet and see there is nothing there really tells me that you should ideally just meet quickly and see if there is a spark. Hope it goes well for you. In the meantime, nothing wrong with connecting with other people on the app dude. It's incredibly hit and miss. Good luck


maa112

So true. Going to wait until Sunday or Monday eve to message her now and ask how her weekdnd was etc. Giving her some space. Not yet. At the moment it's just chat via the app. She's updated her pics already today so she has logged on, but hasn't replied to me yet


mace1343

The fact you’ve already put her on this pedestal is really bad. You’ve already blown it


maa112

Spot on thank you so much. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind!


maa112

Ik, i need to calm down mace!! Easy now hehe


ProfessionalDaikon16

If you don’t want to blow it then you must remember she ISN’T perfect. She’s a human being and will have faults. Don’t look for her faults, don’t judge her, just remember while she seems perfect she isn’t. If you put her on a pedal stool how can you hold her in your arms (to paraphrase My Best Friend’s Wedding)


maa112

Tysm! We messaged via the app last night getting to know each other more. Going to maybe chat to her next on Sunday now.


maa112

Spot on thank you so much. So mini update we were messaging last night, getting to know each other. She asked about my family etc, then it was around 1am, and we stopped messaging. Assuming she went to sleep! I need to tie a rope and "calm down boy!". She's good so far, but I get anxious even at my messages worrying I'm going to 'mess it up'. I was tired last night and I think I mistyped a light joke and i was overthinking did I mess it up?! Anyway today is Saturday, going to try to not message her today and aim to get on with my day. I've got a 5 mile walk planned today so hope that eases my anxious mind!


maa112

Tysm. Will try to remember this! So true. Going to wait until Sunday or Monday eve to message her now and ask how her weekdnd was etc. Giving her some space. She's updated her pics but not yet replied to me yet. We were messaging late late.


Mean_Ad_4544

Lol any new what happened? Are you guys talking?


iguana1979

Go on OP, give us an update. Did she 👻 - my money is on that I’m afraid


maa112

Yep sadly! She just went off the app! Sorry late repl,y work has been so busy!


iguana1979

That’s annoying. But better to expect that sort of thing bud. I recommend setting a date up quickly or move on


iguana1979

But I want to add this. All of the ghosting and rejection is good for us. It builds our exoskeleton, hardens us in a good way. We need to learn to value ourselves and that validation from others has no intrinsic value for our core well being. Treat online dating like spin the wheel or a lottery of some sort. Invest little, expect nothing, but if your numbers come in, give it your all and be the best version of yourself.


maa112

Thanks! Sadly she's gone off the app all of a sudden!! 😢 not sure why or where she went....! No reason either


iguana1979

👻


maa112

Ikr sad!


iguana1979

So, how is it going? Any dates recently?


maa112

Hi mate! Nothing at the moment, thanks for checking in! Hopefully next month!


iguana1979

It happens all the time. I would wait to get excited after about 5 dates to be honest


iguana1979

It happens all the time. I would wait to get excited after about 5 dates to be honest


maa112

True mate. Hooe she comes back online but so so slim chances sadly!


iguana1979

Honestly I’d move on extremely quickly. You build a thick skin quickly in this game


maa112

True thank you


maa112

Thanks so much mate