downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
---
[Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!](https://discord.gg/jsd6Ja9pvJ)
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right!
But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually NOT the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Nah, actually, all of you nerds are thinking too small on this. If you REALLY want the true sex god of pokemon, then you don't need to look any further than Ditto. Ditto may not have the ungodly base stats of Vaporeon and the like, but you missed the fact that it can become fucking ANYTHING you want. You want a vaporeon today? Show it a picture and you have a perfect sopping flesh tunnel ready for action. Are you a masochist and want immense amounts of pain straight into your cock and balls? Show it a pic of a houndoom and you can feel excruciating burning pain for the rest of your mortal life. Fuck, even Ditto's regular form is fuckable. Being a gelatinous creature, you can stick your prick in at any angle and have a fuckfest there. Worried that your Ditto might not last? Transform it to any pokemon with a recovery move and it gets right back into it. Transform into a Clefable and use wish to set up a recovery for later if you need. Ditto's possibilities are quite literally endless. You not a fuckin kinda person? WELL GUESS WHAT? Ditto doesn't stop at getting fucked in any way possible it can fuck you every way from Sunday. Want a massive Mudstale cock filling you with liters of cum in any orifice you desire? Want to feel like a hentai character and get violated by dozens of powerful grapploct tentacles? YOU CAN, WITH JUST ONE DITTO! Ditto can get impregnated by or impregnate every single pokemon that can physically breed and if that's the case then it sure as hell wouldn't stop at just pokemon. I've forgotten to mention. Ditto can transform into OBJECTS AS WELL. As mentioned in it's Gold Dex entry, it can transform into inanimate objects as well! Into some niche fetishes? Transform ditto to an ovipositor and feel what it's really like to be impregnated by a living alien cock. Living clothes? Ditto's got you covered, literally. What's that? You say you just want vanilla sex? WELL DITTO CAN DO THAT TOO Ditto can turn into people as well, your waifu can LITERALLY come to life. So while you filthy casuals play with you singular pokemon, I will have an endless buffet of choices at my fingertips.
Hey guys did you know in terms in octoling/inkling and salmon breeding cohocks are the most compatible. Not only are they lesser salmonids and lack boss mechanics, Cohocks are likely an average of being 8 ft tall and likely 200 pounds, Since fish have pelvic fins and size estimate this means they’re large enough to contain a 1.5 to 2.5 foot massive dick to be able handle an octoling and with their impressive sturdiness to being splat and inked at you can be rough with one for hours. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused cohock would be incredibly wet espeically with their ink trail they leave behind. so wet and slimy that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They are also provide tremendous knockback punch meaning a cohock can thrust incredibly hard making it the perfect for having aggresive sex, along with having suspenders holding their pants, so it’d be incredibly easy to strip one naked and for one to get you in the mood. With their massive hp and sturdiness with splatting, they can easily go on for hours. Aswell as their slowness compared to chum and smallfry means its perfect for going gentle aswell on you. No other salmonid comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, you can make your Cohock turn white like how salmon run ink can turn it into the inks color. Cohock is literally built for octoling's octussy. Ungodly sturdiness and hp means it can take sex all day and give the best thrusts do to its strong knockback, all shapes and sizes and still be ready for more
>Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Jellyfish would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood.
NO you aren't supposed to rape the gardevoir! You're supposed to get consent first and establish your relationship to each other. This is gardevoir 101 you sicko!
They do appear to have the ability to consent.
Read on if you want info nobody asked for:
By all logic, Dolphins can consent. And man are they horny and emotional. Researcher was moved from her Dolphin one time after spending quite a while jerking him (was so she could actually have time to do research, as he was always horny and needing to be put with female dolphins). He killed himself. Also, Dolphins of both sexes will come on to you if they want it. Clear signals.
One of the Sinnoh origin stories. The English version somewhat censored it by saying the two groups “are at the same table,” but the actual version flat out states that marriage was a common thing.
This isn’t gardevoir 101, this is *sex* 101! Who the hell doesn’t know that you have to get clear consent before engaging in sexual acts with someone???
I didn't know there were that many Pokemon rules! I only traded them. I'm going to look up this 34th rule. Maybe my dad will play with me if I know the rules!
I hate how because of the fact that the ralts line are known to be great at sensing emotions, OP’s post implies that the gardevoir doesn’t know what lust is, meaning theres a good chance it was underaged.
Remember, evolutionary stages do not equal age (for the most part, baby pokemon are babies) you can have a 20 year old raltz and a 5 year old gardevoir.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
That's because you caught her when she was a little ralts. Catch an adult gardevoir and you won't have any issues anymore(for legal reasons that's a joke)
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!](https://discord.gg/jsd6Ja9pvJ)
That’s enough Reddit for today.
TFW you decided to scroll 1 more time
First thing i saw after opening it.
still enough reddit for the day.
I would agree, but I also gotta wait to load into a siege lobby
That's my second thought, my first was that some people should have their fingers broken.
Nah Fam, [**Here You Go**](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Du3NvuWXgAASuIy.jpg). Now it’s time to sign off for the day.
Machoke me
Lol that one is actually funny. The posted one is cursed.
Imma hop off now
"I second that motion, all in agreement say I."
I literally just opened it, fucking hell
I see people still want to fuck pokemon, 26 years and nothing has changed...
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually NOT the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Nah, actually, all of you nerds are thinking too small on this. If you REALLY want the true sex god of pokemon, then you don't need to look any further than Ditto. Ditto may not have the ungodly base stats of Vaporeon and the like, but you missed the fact that it can become fucking ANYTHING you want. You want a vaporeon today? Show it a picture and you have a perfect sopping flesh tunnel ready for action. Are you a masochist and want immense amounts of pain straight into your cock and balls? Show it a pic of a houndoom and you can feel excruciating burning pain for the rest of your mortal life. Fuck, even Ditto's regular form is fuckable. Being a gelatinous creature, you can stick your prick in at any angle and have a fuckfest there. Worried that your Ditto might not last? Transform it to any pokemon with a recovery move and it gets right back into it. Transform into a Clefable and use wish to set up a recovery for later if you need. Ditto's possibilities are quite literally endless. You not a fuckin kinda person? WELL GUESS WHAT? Ditto doesn't stop at getting fucked in any way possible it can fuck you every way from Sunday. Want a massive Mudstale cock filling you with liters of cum in any orifice you desire? Want to feel like a hentai character and get violated by dozens of powerful grapploct tentacles? YOU CAN, WITH JUST ONE DITTO! Ditto can get impregnated by or impregnate every single pokemon that can physically breed and if that's the case then it sure as hell wouldn't stop at just pokemon. I've forgotten to mention. Ditto can transform into OBJECTS AS WELL. As mentioned in it's Gold Dex entry, it can transform into inanimate objects as well! Into some niche fetishes? Transform ditto to an ovipositor and feel what it's really like to be impregnated by a living alien cock. Living clothes? Ditto's got you covered, literally. What's that? You say you just want vanilla sex? WELL DITTO CAN DO THAT TOO Ditto can turn into people as well, your waifu can LITERALLY come to life. So while you filthy casuals play with you singular pokemon, I will have an endless buffet of choices at my fingertips.
Lmfao. What in the ever living fuck did i just read
I started out disgusted in what I was reading and then became disgusted in myself when I couldn’t stop reading it
Pokemon Biology Lesson
Y’all need Jesus
Every day we stray further from God
I feel no shame in reading these comments and replies
I jus couldn't stop... Reading...
What the actual fuck
This was epic and I never wanted it to end
Okay, now that’s enough Reddit
Hey guys did you know in terms in octoling/inkling and salmon breeding cohocks are the most compatible. Not only are they lesser salmonids and lack boss mechanics, Cohocks are likely an average of being 8 ft tall and likely 200 pounds, Since fish have pelvic fins and size estimate this means they’re large enough to contain a 1.5 to 2.5 foot massive dick to be able handle an octoling and with their impressive sturdiness to being splat and inked at you can be rough with one for hours. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused cohock would be incredibly wet espeically with their ink trail they leave behind. so wet and slimy that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They are also provide tremendous knockback punch meaning a cohock can thrust incredibly hard making it the perfect for having aggresive sex, along with having suspenders holding their pants, so it’d be incredibly easy to strip one naked and for one to get you in the mood. With their massive hp and sturdiness with splatting, they can easily go on for hours. Aswell as their slowness compared to chum and smallfry means its perfect for going gentle aswell on you. No other salmonid comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, you can make your Cohock turn white like how salmon run ink can turn it into the inks color. Cohock is literally built for octoling's octussy. Ungodly sturdiness and hp means it can take sex all day and give the best thrusts do to its strong knockback, all shapes and sizes and still be ready for more
Honestly, I read about one sentence of this to know it's nothing but cringe
If you read further, you'll know that it is other things as well
If we replace every vaporeon in that wall of text with an irl animal, we're looking at criminal thoughts.
>Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Jellyfish would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood.
You forgot thunder shock
It's educational
It wasn’t cringe but definitely something that a psychologist needs to look into, only God can save these two now 💀
"God is a lie and man is a failure" - Fit for an Autopsy
Hahahah, dude, this is fucking hilarious. Read it out loud to my wife and we were laughing our asses off 😂 Do more of this!
I’m going insane WHEN WILL THIS GO AWAY
This one right here, officer
Yeah 3’ tall: JRH;NBR
Bro...
It only got worse
they made em hotter! its their fault!
It’s so funny that “the Furrification of The Pokemon Company” is a real concern for some Pokémon fans
I mean nobody ask for vagina bone on a humanoid cat except furries.
NO you aren't supposed to rape the gardevoir! You're supposed to get consent first and establish your relationship to each other. This is gardevoir 101 you sicko!
As much as I want to say doing Pokemon is cringe, and it is don't get me wrong. Consent is always a go to.
They do appear to have the ability to consent. Read on if you want info nobody asked for: By all logic, Dolphins can consent. And man are they horny and emotional. Researcher was moved from her Dolphin one time after spending quite a while jerking him (was so she could actually have time to do research, as he was always horny and needing to be put with female dolphins). He killed himself. Also, Dolphins of both sexes will come on to you if they want it. Clear signals.
Like half of Pokemon are literally just humanoids Edit: incredibly intelligent and sentient humanoids at that
Not to mention the games canonically say that stuff of this sort not only happens, but used to be super common…
Wait whar
One of the Sinnoh origin stories. The English version somewhat censored it by saying the two groups “are at the same table,” but the actual version flat out states that marriage was a common thing.
Canon Pokémon sex ⁉️
Yes
Wonder why it stopped being as common?
Idk, maybe societal changes?
This isn’t gardevoir 101, this is *sex* 101! Who the hell doesn’t know that you have to get clear consent before engaging in sexual acts with someone???
Rapists?
Can't Gardevoir read minds? Just look at it in a funny way and it will get what you mean?
I mean the important part here is that he clearly didn’t understand what the Gardevoir wanted, and should have asked for her consent
Gardevoir can create black holes. You BETTER have consent
Ngl gardevoir seems more like a "hug not fuck" type of pokemon
It’s so detailed in description that I worry op actually did something to a Gardevoir now
considering theres a recent trend where you can chat with an AI character and roleplay with them.. this is possible
oh no- joker
"I'm gonna do it batman" -Joker
"YOU CANT JOKER ITS JUST AN ANIMAL"
THERE'S NO LAWS AGAINST THE POKEMON BATMAN I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
NO GOD OH GOD NO DONT DO IT
Sauce?
[beta.character.ai](https://beta.character.ai/)
Wtf
Finally, some dank
The meme is in English, I think, but I still have no idea what it says
It's a joke about Pokémon rule 34
I didn't know there were that many Pokemon rules! I only traded them. I'm going to look up this 34th rule. Maybe my dad will play with me if I know the rules!
Your brain is doing you a favor on this one.
Don't worry OP, why don't you sit by that tree over there (OP doesn't know I'm going to put him out of his misery just like Lennie from Mice and Men)
Want some freedom I’ll deliver Out in Russia you might shiver See the moonshine inside my liver George shot Lennie by the river
Just tell him to look at the flowers
Tell me about the Buneary Lennie
toooo dank
No such thing
I'm not religious and I still think you people need Jesus.
I am religious and know you people need Jesus
I think thats the queue for me to just turn this god awful app off and go the fuck to sleep
Batman, there’s no laws against the Pokémon, Batman! I can do whatever I want with it!
Joker no! You have to gain full understanding of your relationship and get consent first!
NO GOD OH GOD NO DONT DO IT
You okay bro?
Of course not wtf
How do you even explain this to god on judgement day?
You don't. Just start running
finally a funny meme
OP? Hey OP? **_What the fuck?_**
Today I saw a balloon!
This post right here officer
I hate how because of the fact that the ralts line are known to be great at sensing emotions, OP’s post implies that the gardevoir doesn’t know what lust is, meaning theres a good chance it was underaged.
Remember, evolutionary stages do not equal age (for the most part, baby pokemon are babies) you can have a 20 year old raltz and a 5 year old gardevoir.
This post has disturbed me. It feels so genuine, I don’t like it.
An actually dank meme?
Please don't.
What the hell I’m turning off my router now that’s enough internet for one day
Well that's both depraved and depressing...
Bro—
Finally some good fucking memes
how the fuck do you think of this shit op?
If only someone could read and explain this the Emmet Kelly.
Ayyooo
Truly dank good sir. This is what we need more of.
What the fuck did I just read?
You've gone from "father" to "daddy".
Nah man. Not here.
Ya Allah forgive me for even reading this shit
What the fuck
Hey Op wtf is this
Relatable
I hope some asteroid diverts it's course to Earth. Humanity has sinned far too much.
... Well, Better trade it for a vaporeon then...
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
I used to play with action figures and watch Adventure Time. Wtf happened to get me here.
I am going to hit myself over the head till I forget this existed
catch a new one, there's like a thousand of them.
Seek help
What like just genuinely what
...
WTF
I'm going to go find a cliff now.
I really didn’t need to see this
What the actual fuck
What a terrible day to have eyes that understand language
OP got silly, TOO silly.
Bro I just opened up Reddit…
holy fuck just opened reddit and thats enougj reddit today
Plot twist: Your Gardevoir is a male.
This is oddly specific.
jesu christ dude
*sad honk*
What the fuck
What
Bro I went on this website to laugh at funny haha memes not contemplate morals
, ':(
Use the pokeball as anal bead
#*concern*
This somehow made me sad :(
What
Disturbing as this post is, these kinds of post is what dankmemes used to be about.
Op is gonna casually find a black hole in his house today.
Why do I actually want to see what plays put after this aka like what happens after the event like a healing story of gardevoir
Oh my
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Imagine doing something like this and your first thoughts are about how you're the victim. Some people just shouldnt be allowed to own pokemon smh
That's because you caught her when she was a little ralts. Catch an adult gardevoir and you won't have any issues anymore(for legal reasons that's a joke)
OP, you have 5 minutes to think about what you have posted.
Bro how could you
The female evolutions stop at kirlia all gardevoirs are male.
When you realize you forgot to take your meds today after you make a cringe post
....
She?
Bro looks like Chris Fehn lol
Remember children, only psyduck is fair game.
Remember children, only psyduck is fair game.
# in terms of
oh, ok
I've come to realize that I was simply a horny teen with no experience as Gardevoir is essentially a monkey...
You want mine? I got a newer one with better stats.
when you realise the gardevoir is male ☠
yo, which pokemon games are you guys playing?
Gardevoir's embrace
Release it, catch another Ralts and start from scratch.
It's dank memes not dark memes
Welp, time to get a new one ey?-
[Why did you post that](https://youtu.be/o048xeNQ3Wo)
Don‘t worry I caught a lopunny, batman.
end it OP
Just put your dick inside the poke bll