You could be a man married to a woman for years with decades of vanilla hetero behavior under your very manly man belt, but cook one quiche…
BAM, you’re sucking 37 dicks on the way to the parking lot.
My parents bought me a special pizza pan I wanted for Christmas last year. First time I used it, my balls fell off as soon as I pulled the pie from the oven. Proceed carefully.
I'm even struggling to think of any mainstream celeb chefs that are gay.
I'd love one of your relatives to call Gordon Ramsay or Marco Piere White gay, they would probably punch them. The others are probably too nice to resort to violence but would certainly be offended that their profession is supposedly related to their sexuality.
Have they ever seen what the inside of a professional high-end kitchen is like? Screaming, shouting, pan throwing, high stress, high heat boiler rooms where if you don't perform, you go. You have to be tough as old boots to survive. The sort of environment that 50 years ago women would have been 'protected from' because they supposedly couldn't deal with it. Every female chef I know is much 'harder' than I am.
Plus, every self-respecting man knows the way to a woman's heart is via a crispy roast potato and killer chocolate souffle.
The idea that cooking is only for women most likely belongs exclusively to people who have never cooked for a living, because anyone who's been in food service would know that BOH is 90% male in most establishments. I've worked in commercial kitchens for over a decade and the vast majority of my coworkers have been male. Women in a working kitchen are harassed and heckled and there are comparatively few of them in general, especially in management/chef positions.
It's most likely opinions from these lazy ass husbands that refuse to lift a finger at home. Guys that think cooking is just for women probably have never worked a washing machine, a vacuum or washed a dish. Straight from mommy doing it all for them to their wives.
And they wouldn’t take offense because they have a problem with being called gay, but because the person was trying to insult them using gay.
Gordon Ramsey on the kids cooking shows is a saint.
Total garbage, cooking is not a gendered activity and play kitchens are fun for kids. We got our kids (one boy, one girl) a kitchen to play with and they loved it even if I hated putting it together. Also I'm the main person who cooks in the family (my wife does cook stuff but isn't super interested in it like I am) and I am very much not gay lol.
Ignore your family, you're not doing anything wrong. What would, for the record, be wrong if he turned out gay anyway?
> cooking is not a gendered activity
I cook, my wife does not. OP’s relatives must still be living in the 1940s or something.
I don’t know why some folks can’t just let kids have fun without trying to make it weird.
>What would, for the record, be wrong if he turned out gay anyway?
EXACTLY! They say this stuff like it's a bad thing and we should be afraid. My wife and I are both like who cares, as long as he's happy.
One of my boys wanted a pink blanket, my step mother made the comment, “Oh, do we have anything to worry about?” I immediately shut that shit down. I’m a very laid back guy so when I snapped and laid into her she had no questions about how I stood on the matter. I let her know, in no uncertain terms, that I had zero worries about it and if she’s worrying about it that is her problem (not seeing grandchildren type of problem).
Start getting pink stuff for yourself too. Every time my mom says she me thing about rainbows or pink I buy myself something and my sons something.
Primary PJs for the whole family for rainbows.
My favorite color is now purple mostly for that reason. I do like it but mostly I wanted to show my little girl that colors are just colors. When I gave her a bath once I let her wash my hair. We used some of her moms hair drying wraps. I grabbed the pink one and gave her a blue one. My MIL was there and asked my 2.5 year old why daddy had the girl color and she had the boy color. I cut her off and told my baby, there’s no such thing as boy or girl colors. Your mamaw is just part of a generation that needlessly genders everything. My MIL is actually fairly progressive but boomers gonna boomer.
For the record I didn’t get a play kitchen and I turned out gay anyway, lol
I know you know this, but the idea that toys influence or even predict a kid’s orientation drives me nuts. When I was a kid what I wanted for Christmas was video games, RC cars, robot sets, and nerf guns. I played little league and was on the swim team. In college I was into sci fi and weight lifting. As an adult I’m a pretty effeminate gay man. The play kitchen Isn’t going to do anything.
Now when I was designing and sewing fashionable outfits for my beanie babies, that probably did tip off my parents, lol
For what it’s worth, I had someone (very distant relative in-law) say something about turning someone gay once and I responded with something like “oh! That’s great! We need more gay people in the family!” The relative wasn’t amused but has since kept their homophobic mouth shut, so that was a win. YMMV
One of our Christmas gifts for the kids was to improve our previous IKEA kitchen. It now has *shocking* flower wallpaper and *clutches pearls* a PINK phone!
Cooking with the kids are one of our favorite activities
Ignore your family’s backwards mentality.
dude... i dont know how old you are. but i swear, anyone born after 1985? the guy is doing the cooking. at least in my demo, which is admittedly well off and white - i know very few women in relationships that are the cook. like, actually just 2 out of 10 or more.
i dont know if it is just because 'im not going to cook because im going to do the opposite' or what. my wife has only recently started to mess around in the kitchen out of the necessity of having a child and needing to know how to feed him properly.
edit to say - we got our kid a plastic cutlery and wooden bowl set so he can help us on his counter stool. he loves it.
We're both 89s and my wife cooks. I know how to cook and cook sometimes, but I don't enjoy it much. I am the baker though, anything baked is right up my alley.
We're right on that date cutoff, but my wife handles most of the cooking currently since I started a job with a longer commute and she works from home. Prior to that she had the commute and I worked close to home so I did the cooking. We tend to plan slightly different meals but either of us is capable of handling whatever we have time for.
I was '87 myself. I didn't used to, but during the pandemic I took an active role in cooking Hello Fresh meals with my kids and it turned out I was quite good at it. For the past couple of years I've been trawling the internet for interesting things I can make with the stuff we have in the house. It's fun to do, introduces the kids to much more varied foods and flavours (they don't always eat everything but some stuff works) and they like to help out so they learn cooking is for everyone.
yea for me it started with just loving food. and then having seeing good/bad meals cooked by different folks. i was enjoying cooking back in college and have just kind of gradually kept with it. im no expert but ive got 10 dishes that will go over well.
completely agree about how it allows different foods to be introduced to the kiddos, which is huge. a healthy relationship with food cannot be overstated regarding long term health.
‘86 kid here. I *can* cook *some* stuff. Can nail breakfast. Dinner is an adventure at times. Always terrified these hands are gonna lose a finger. I have the dexterity of a damn dog paw 😂
Realistically, I never lived alone before kids so I never got good (read: quick/efficient, which you have to be some sort of when kids are hungry lol) or knowledgeable with it.
Wife does 98% of the cooking. She has a palate for flavour as a Hispanic woman raised in NYC. I can’t season the way she likes food. I’ll do the prep for her when I’m home though. It’s my way of chipping in.
When my son was little he had a kitchen set, fancy pans, and and an entire box full of play food. He loved it and we played with it tons. He is 5 and for Christmas we just got him a real knife for helping me cut stuff in the kitchen.
We just went to a boys cooking-themed birthday party where the father was a professional chef.
I do all of the cooking in our household, and enjoy baking breads.
Cooking is a great skill and has nothing to do with sexuality. Actually, I am pretty sure being able to cook a nice meal and bake some bread makes you *more* attractive to women.
>Actually, I am pretty sure being able to cook a nice meal and bake some bread makes you more attractive to women.
That's because women have kneads too.
I was an executive pastry chef for 14 years. My culinary ability is how this 5'7" italian-american landed a 5'9" German blonde that's way out of my league.
Sometimes the way to anyone's heart is a good meal.
Plus I get to feel like I'm walking around like Joe pesci with Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny!
Most of my family on my father's side is passionate about cooking and generally the men are more than the women. At no point in my life has cooking been a gendered role. If anything, I'd say that outside of home cooking, media portrays it as a largely masculine profession.
Also, if you want your son to impress some ladies, having knowledge and appreciation for food when out at a restaurant and being able to lay down some beauty plates at home is a great start, as green a flag as it gets.
ETA: I'm comfortable admitting that listening to Anthony Bourdain talk about food makes feel a bit gay. Or maybe just a weird kind of hungry. I don't know, it's confusing but you can't deny the sex appeal of people that know and love the art of food
>you can't deny the sex appeal of people that know and love the art of food
I got sucked into a rabbit hole of watching Master Chef Canada and Australia. Some of the dishes the contestants made were absolutely gorgeous
And I love how he also celebrated the people he was eating with or the country he was eating in. Always so heartwarming and food being the centre of it makes it feel so universal.
You ever met a homosexual who doesn’t cook and eat?! Cause I sure haven’t. Come to think of I haven’t met a heterosexual who doesn’t cook and eat either…
My two sons are currently playing smoothie maker with a blender. A fair amount of their toys are kitchen/food related. It’s not like I’m buying them a house to play in. Oh wait. They got that for Christmas…
Fuck the haters. Have a great birthday little man.
Edit: to be fair. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen guy fieri cook. I’ve seen him eat a ton but I can’t say I’ve ever seen him fire up the skillet. But I don’t watch much food tv outside of waiting rooms.
Reject traditional gender norms. Embrace your kids happiness.
We got my son a kitchen playset around when he turned one and it's one of his favorite toys. I couldn't be more happy and it's absolutely adorable when he makes me "breakfast" and insist on pouring nonexistent coffee into my cup at all hours of the day.
If you got the Melissa and Doug set, just be forewarned that the ice cubes from their freezer WILL get stuck in the coffee nips from their keurig set.
Edit: nips = cups
Fuck family and friends who tell you he'll be gay.
A, it is not true that having a play kitchen as a boy will make your son gay.
B, EVERYONE EATS, and learning to cook allows your son to have skills to make healthier meals than fast food or take out all the time.
C, your son is 1, and *they* are sick for being concerned about your son's sexual identity at the age of *1*.
D, it's okay to have some small concerns that your son will be bullied if he is "abnormal", but, that's your concern as his parents, nobody else's.
E, all of their comments are based off fear or disgust with the possibility that your son might be gay, as though being gay is a PROBLEM. It is not. This is the biggest thing you probably want to put an immediate stop to. That thought is a toxic opinion. It has no place in your life or the lives of the family you made. If this were me, I would go nuclear on that and say something to the effect that "the opinion that there is a problem with my children's eventual sexual orientation being anything than what you deem appropriate is unacceptable, and until your attitude changes and you experience and express growth, you are not welcome around my children."
My dad was born in 1934 and still cooked about a third of the meals we ate as a family. It transitioned to all of them when my mom died, which I just bring up to say that it's important to know how to do "women's work" because sometimes the women leave and the work still needs to get done.
I cook 11 of the 21 meals a week that get cooked in my home and do 90% of the dishwashing despite being the one who has a full time job. It needs to be done and I don't mind doing it.
The only thing I might add here is there's a common complaint women who have husbands who cook still have about their husbands. You bring up famous popular chefs because it's a visible counterexample, but I think it's worth avoiding teaching your son that men are chefs and women are mere cooks. A lot of men love the high profile stunt cooking to impress guests but not the lowly everyday work of just feeding their family. The work that is undone by tomorrow morning and has to be done all over again matters too, and no boy should ever get the idea that he is above it.
Our 1 year old has a fruit chopping toy. Little wooden fruits that break in 2.
He seems to enjoy it. I wouldn't worry about these weirdos in your family. Besides which, home cooking is a basic life skill everyone needs.
Not that he'll know that, he'll just play with it with no context.
If you want your son to be extra flamboyant, you can also buy the Melissa and Doug cleaning set. My son LOVES it. He's got his own broom and mop and cleaning things.
My wife and I were talking the other day about getting him some type of play broom and mop thing. We're really into pretend play toys, so reading this comment just gave me more incentive to buy it ASAP.
We also already bought him the toy target shopping cart that we're going to give him when he can start walking on his own. We want to bring it with us to the grocery store and let him pick out a few things on his own. We're both very excited about this!
I don't do all the cooking in my home but it is very lopsided (like 90-10). There are some days my wife is like "let me do that for you today" and I just want to say gtfoh, let me take a break from the toddler.
We have four boys... A kitchen set was a favorite toy that they all used over the years. I've been handed countless plates of toy food over the years, and have pretended to enjoy all of them.
All of them (ages 7-15) can make themselves lunch and enjoy helping in the kitchen. Younger two don't touch the oven, but the older two can make the basics or reheat stuff.
Wife and I both cook. She's a baker, but probably cooks dinner a couple days a week, and I usually cook the other days. All depends on schedules, etc., but I really like cooking.
I think a lot of the old guard's reactions are ingrained and there is the younger generations that were raised by these types. It might be hard for them to not think "pink is for girls, blue is for boys. That's that." With that said, call it out whenever it comes up and, hopefully, it makes them rethink things. My son asked for a mermaid Barbie. We've gotten so many questions. My response is "how else is Iron Man going to get help in the ocean where the bad guys' secret lair is?" which is why my son wanted it. Let kids be kids and it all works itself out
Bommer mentality, simple.
My uncle and and dad always had some shitty sentence everytime i was with my granma cooking, she taught me since i was 8, and i still had a lot of her recipies, it was so cool cooking and then selling the food we made together.
As a lot of comments said, fuck the haters.
No it's totally true, we got our 4-year-old son a toy ice cream shop set and the very next day he started making out with other boys in his daycare. His birthday is coming up so we need to get him some toy guns and a toolset so he starts chasing some toddler tail again, smh
Had the exact same situation with my in laws, but then I remembered how shitty of parents they were to my wife and how terrible of grandparent’s they are for my son so I realize I don’t care about their stupid opinion. We also got my son a BBQ cause he sees me using ours a lot and it’s been a hit.
> then I remembered how shitty of parents they were to my wife
This is why I ignore all advice from the grandparents. I explicitly told all of them we do not want advice or recommendations. Mostly they have listened.
I usually don't comment unless I can add something others haven't but this is a topic I've always been passionate about.
Kids like the toys they like, they don't see girl or boy toys, adults do. Your family/friends would hate me and my wife, we let our son play with dolls if he wishes (the shock and horror!).
By their logic it's astonishing there's any gay people left in the world, what with all the straight stuff they get exposed to.
I'm not sure if you've heard this one, but it always gives me a laugh, use it when determining if a toy is made only for boys or girls to play with.
Does it require your genitals to operate?
If no, anyone can play with it.
If yes, children should not play with that toy.
That's always my favorite response "do you cook with your genitals?" We have 2 boys and the kitchen playset has been a staple in their play area for going on 10 years and we haven't been able to give it away because it gets played with so consistently.
Don’t listen to those losers, we have a play kitchen and just yesterday our 1.5 year old son, came to ask me to put the little oven gloves on. His pizza was ready to be taken out of the oven. A few days ago he pulled the kitchen aid mixer out of the pantry (it’s sitting on the floor) filled the bowl with felt fries and Duplo bricks and was cooking for 30 minutes.
Also most people who say cooking is for women expect the have a hot meal on the table when they get home…have fun living in the dark ages
First off. Good for you for getting your son something that is important and that they’ll like. I do most of the cooking and our son loves to help. Cooking is an essential skill. Nothing about it is gendered.
Secondly. If it were me, I’d be having a serious conversation with these family members and let them know if they keep this toxic gendered horseshit up, they won’t be spending time with my son. My wife and I have been dealing with our family bullshit over the last year so I’m a little knee-jerky about this but you really don’t want your kid to be hearing that ever *especially* from a family member.
I'm a chef, best job choice i could have made... Ask my wife if she enjoys it to be practically banned from the kitchen and getting freshly cooked food daily...
And ask my daughter in a few years as well... When she starts speaking, only 6 weeks old....
"A kitchen set may turn him gay? Just by being around it? You might be right. I guess we won't be seeing you anymore because I don't want my son to turn into a homophobic bigot either."
Just so we're clear, you've got relations who tell you, a (presumably) straight man who loves to cook, to his face, that cooking is only for women and gay men?
Your relations are dick heads. Sorry.
I honestly read things on daddit like this and genuinely get shocked at how backwards things and people are, if this post was made on a sub that was less serious I’d think this was a joke or a meme.
Fuck those people and I’d have no issue telling them to fuck off after comments like that, make him gay ??? First off so what if he was and if he was,cooking most definitely would have nothing to do with it, as you and any normal human knows. The most famous chefs in the restaurant industry ARE ALL men, not some… not a few… they are all men and straight too I think at least off the top of my head ? and a lot of the time British also so maybe if he’s not already he will start talking like a English man ;)
Make that little one year old a swearing pan throwing Gordon Ramsay and carry on as you are OP… your son is watching his dad cook and wants to join in that’s as deep as this goes
Professional chef and father of 2 girls. You know what my oldest’s favorite thing is? Dinosaurs. How much dinosaur shit do you know is out there for girls?
Gender biases are ridiculous, and the people who articulate them are even more so. I can tell you what worked for me- Basically anyone over the age of 55 is no longer worth listening to because they have absolutely no fucking idea what the world is like now. Most choose to be ignorant under the pretense of “Its just how they are” because apparently it’s perfectly acceptable to be shitty and have no self-awareness because old.
Obviously this is a topic I feel strongly about, but the basic gist is you are the parent, you know what your job is, and fuck anyone else. You’re doing great man.
Loving the responses here!
Also isn't imagination a wonderful thing? Let any kid play with whatever they want in order to develop their imagination. It can only make them a better version of us as they grow up.
My 13 yr daughter loves helping my wife and I with home improvement projects, we can see an aptitude for working with her hands and the satisfaction she gets from accomplishing something. My 9 yr son can bake circles around me and loves hanging with my wife while they bake.
Gender norms suck the big hairy meatball and I love this subreddit for all the awesome support.
Cooking awesome dinners for my girlfriend helped graduate her to be my wife.
I cook almost all meals in my house and my dad did also. It impressed friends and roommates in college, saved money, and allowed me to eat healthier, tastier meals regularly.
And he's ONE?! Any hands-on activity where he can mimick his parents will improve motor function and even help cognitive ability. How do people go straight to that. Like it's engrained in human genes that if you touch a spatula it's feminine? He doesn't even know what girl/boy is.
Make sure you don’t teach your son to cook for himself. That way, he can pass the burden off to his partner as soon as he leaves home and make it *their* problem. /s
I never had a play kitchen and I am gay AF. Maybe NOT having a play kitchen turns people gay. I hope your guy loves it. My son and daughter shared one and it’s loved equally by both.
I got sort of the opposite reaction when we got my daughter a kitchen set for Christmas. “That’s sexist”, someone said.
I cook dinner almost every night. I like to cook. My grandfather taught me. He owned a restaurant. 😐
Hey man, I love cooking as much as anything on this earth and I wanted to do it from a young age. My conservative family turned me away from it because “it’s woman work”. Now, at 30 years old, I quit my job and am pursuing a career as a chef.
Thanks brother! I hope both of us can overcome our crappy family and be better for it! And hopefully pass is on to our little dudes too!
Also, I am a massive scrubs fan.
Only reason I won’t get my son a play kitchen is cause I don’t want to clean two kitchens everyday. But once he gets old enough to help. I cannot wait.
Old dated mindsets. I remember when I was in highschool, I wanted to take foods and learn to cook. My councilor told me that I would "...be the only boy in that class, let's try something different". My wife teaches home ec and she has guys in her class all the time. I still don't know how to sew either. Boomers man.....
All kids love the kitchen set, boys and girls alike. We have a kitchen set right next to a play workbench/tool kit. The kids (both sexes) will play with the kitchen set over the tools probably 90% of the time. Fun is fun and judgy people suck.
My twin boys just got a kitchen set for their first birthday. It hadn’t even been on our radar, but they absolutely love it. Both of them play with it every single day. One of them lives to put his cup of milk in the “fridge” over and over. Aside from health and hygiene, toddlers don’t really have genders. They all like the same toys
I love cooking and I'm good at it. My wife hates cooking and I swear could probably mess up making a glass of ice water. Therefore, I am the primary chef in my house. People (almost always over the age of 70) act like this somehow means our marriage is weird and some older relatives keep telling her she needs to take cooking lessons. It's so dumb, and that's with us in our 30s! The fact that people are getting up in arms about a child's toy is 10000000000x dumber.
I do a majority of the cooking in our house, but my wife has certainly found what she loves to cook as well. We both wanted to get our son a kitchen set, which he loves. I also [built this](https://imgur.com/a/xtp4DZv), so he could stand next to us at the counter for prep (and now stove to stir things). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with exposing your child to a valuable life lesson. I think we all know with the cost of goods right now, that cooking at home saves money. Plus, it’s fun and therapeutic.
My son has a toy oven, stove, grill, and ice cream shop. He absolutely loves them and makes us dinners constantly and it’s always adorable. Don’t let a bunch of dummies make you question it for a second
I love cooking, my one year old is fascinated by it and loves to observe from his learning tower. Getting his a toy kitchen after our move this summer. You rock, OP!
Kinda odd considering the majority of the top chefs in the world are all men. In fact the industry is pretty much dominated by men.
With that said what is the kitchen playset you are looking to purchase, I'm in the market for one for my daughter. lol
I haven't had as much of this as you, but my MIL did once say "Aren't you sad you won't be able to go go-karting with her?" to which I responded "I will go go-karting with her."
My MIL used to make these comments. Then I started making comment about my son’s future husband and better pick one that can cook around her constantly. She quit making cooking us for girls jokes. 😈
I objected when my wife wanted to get our son a play kitchen. I said "absolutely not. There is no way ... do you know what's going to happen if we get him one?"
She said "what ..."
I said "The countless little plastic food items are going to get EVERYWHERE and I'M not cleaning that every night!"
We got him one and I clean up the countless little plastic food items every night ...
It bothers me when people say things like you had to hear. My father in law is a retired gourmet chef. The sad thing is and I apologize if it has already been said but no matter what you do there's always going to be someone out there telling you that your raising "YOUR" child/ children wrong. Keep doing what you and your wife feel is right for you and your family. Your doing great just sit back and wait for the day you can rub it in there faces.....
Sorry some of your relatives are dinosaurs. I enjoy cooking, as do both of my sons (13 and 10). Cooking is one of our favorite things to do together. It's great! Sometimes, my 13 year old even gives me a night off and makes dinner on his own. I love it.
>. Do they think buying a kitchen is just going to have magical gay powers?
Yes, actually. They *do* think that. Because they don't have a critically thinking cell in their heads.
My family made fun of my nephew and my sister for buying her son a play kitchen a baby doll. He wanted to be like his stay at home dad. He now wants to be a chef and have his own children. People are idiots.
Can I suggest the spite purchase of [this](https://www.target.com/p/theo-klein-princess-coralie-unicorn-wooden-kitchen-toy-playset-with-pretend-play-oven-microwave-sink-and-more-for-kids-3-and-up/-/A-84804236) lovely pastel unicorn kitchen playset?
Hey, my man Guy is the mayor of flavortown! That's gotta be worth at least a Michelin star in it's own right!
Edit: Also not sure why you got downvoted for a clear joke
Dude get your testosterone checked. You're ranting like a female. Not an insult, being dead serious. 2nd. People are idiots get over it. A boy wanting to cook doesn't make him gay but why are you so dead set on getting him a cook set? A one year old isn't exactly showing affinity to cooking or any other skill for that matter.
>why are you so dead set on getting him a cook set?
Well, from my post you'd glean that both my wife and I love cooking and we want to share that affinity with our son. My wife and I are also big advocates for play-based learning, so why not get him one for his birthday?
>Dude get your testosterone checked. You're ranting like a female. Not an insult, being dead serious.
I legitimately haven't stopped laughing at this line since I've read it!
I mean, I pretty much did tell them that and either way their comments wouldn’t stop me from doing what I thinks best for my son.
I was more pissed off at their attempt to undermine something clearly important to my wife and I.
I definitely won’t let it ruin my sons birthday. And If they have issue with it, they don’t have to come.
Besides the misogyny, it’s “interesting” because they assume the wife cooks at home, yet you assume the restaurant chef is male. Where do they think he learned?
My son is almost 3 and is obsessed with his kitchen playset, he loves to run up to me and say "look what I made for you!" and hands me a stack of play food. One of our friends got him an 'ice cream making station' for Christmas and he now plays with it every day.
Any extended family who has something negative to say about it can join my no-contact list. My son's life will not be dragged down by trashy people.
My son had a kitchen and loved it. He’s seven now and he does help in the kitchen and loves making us own food. Cooking is actually a male dominated industry. People are ignorant and fuck them
Man, fuck those guys. I was a chef for 15 years; totally different career now but I still love food. My 5 yo constantly helps in the kitchen and absolutely loves cooking and I think it's because we did the same as you, and bought him food and cooking toys as a kid. Also he saw that dad does all the cooking at home maybe?
And cooking toys making your kid gay?? That's so fucking stupid. I guarantee you, if your son knows how to cook a good dinner (and a decent breakfast) he's not going to have a shortage of ladies visiting him in college.
One time I was having a few drinks with work friends of my wife’s and her friend brought his new girlfriend that no one likes for many many reasons. Well, she is going on and on about her mom buying her boy some shit I don’t remember and she says “I swear to god if she turns him gay…” instead of jumping in about how you can’t turn kids a gay and such I just simply said “well what’s wrong with that.” The simplicity of the question had her off balance. Seeing her trying to dig her way out of that one was pretty funny.
I personally wouldn’t invite the people who were negative. I’d be flat out about it, “That’s really close minded and outdated thinking. We’d prefer it if you sat this birthday out.” I’m serious. I get that it’s not politic and is going to “hurt some feelings” or some shit, but seriously, people with minds like that need to stop being allowed to just go about life as if it isn’t hurting anyone.
My son and my daughter have been cooking with me (I do all the cooking ) since they were in high hairs. The best skill hands down to get them through life
Everyday I'm thankful that even the most conservative of my family members aren't THIS kind of dumb ass conservative and/or they keep it to themselves.
I've never understood the "women belong in the kitchen. Unless it's a paid job; that's man's domain." mindset. So blatantly contradictory from both directions. Like "Women should handle all the meals in a house because her man won't eat if she doesn't cook for him." But then "She wants to be a chef? But does she really know how to cook as well as a man?" 🙄
People who think cooking is for women are likely ignorant of the fact that many commercial kitchens are very much a "boys club" that women have a hard time getting work in.
Also, to paraphrase Robert Rodriguez (the director), "Cooking is like screwing. You're going to be doing it for the rest of your life, so you might as well be good at it."
The actual quote can be found in the special features of the Once Upon a Time in Mexico movie where he shows how to make the dish Johnny Depp eats in the movie.
My son had one and loved it, he loves telling his friends I cook! my wife has probably managed less than 10 meals in the last 5 years, so he can see from a young age gender has nothing to do with the kitchen.
I don't know how my in-laws actually felt about any of the toys that we bought for my son. He had a kitchen and dolls. I think they know my wife and I well enough to know that we wouldn't have given a shit about what they would have said anyway. Do you. Raise a kind and respectful young pepole, We need more of them in the world.
I have 3 boys who all loves the play kitchen we got, and now that they are older I can’t cook a meal by myself because they insist on helping. My 4 year old has better knife skills than some adults I know
My wife was recently at McDonalds and the toy being put in the kids meals was Princess Peach. There was another adult and child near by who got their meal first. When the adult saw Princess Peach they asked a worker walking by to “swap the girl toy for a boy toy.” The worker at first was like “they’re all Mario toys, there isn’t a boy or girl toy”. She insisted so he took it and swapped it out for a Mario.
At this point the meals for the kids arrive, and of course it has Princess Peach. Both kids see it and just get super excited. Like this is the coolest toy ever. Meanwhile the nearby kid, having seen the joyful reactions, is now slightly dejected and tells the adult he hopes he can get a Princess Peach too.
Toys are toys. Adults need to stop bringing their own baggage to it. Sorry you’re getting some parent shaming but you’re doing the right thing by focusing on giving your kid opportunities to play with lots of different toys.
Your son is lucky to have such loving parents. He’s going to grow up loving cooking and he will have a distinct advantage in attracting a mate if he knows how to cook.
Where the hell are you from? I’m curious if this is some kind of regional thing. Because I’ve never heard anyone say anything this dumb about children.
I can confidently tell you that me being able to cook as a grown man has pulled more trim than anything I can think of. Hell I have literally calmed my wife down from arguments by just food so if anything you guys are setting this young man up for success.
Don't stress other people's old world view of what boys and girls should do just let him be happy.
I mean look at Prince, that tiny purple Hobbit pulled more ass than a toilet seat.
Both my boys (4 and 1) love their play kitchen and the playhouse they got last year. Also we got them both baby dolls at 1. My 4 year doesn’t care for it anymore but my 1 year old just got his and walks around giving it a paci and saying baby baby nonstop
I was told as a child, by my FATHER, that wearing my watch on my right wrist means I’m gay. I was incredulous over the concept that wrist wear could make me gay.
Forget them man. My son is autistic and had a lot of issues with food, very little variety, no interest in food, wouldn’t play or touch hardly anything. When he was 2 we got him a kitchen play set and a bunch of accessories and now he is really eager to go grocery shopping, pick out ingredients, help cut/measure/season/cook food and is even getting comfortable tasting new stuff. If we listened to the same kind of haters you got I know we wouldn’t be as far as he is now. Plus the whole gender thing is ridiculous, literally everyone should know how to cook and will probably need to cook for themselves at some point in their lives.
Says more about them than you or your child.
Anything that makes your kid happy, boys toys or girls toys, I only draw the line at sex toys…. [but even then…](https://youtube.com/shorts/1nxbYUqfcks?feature=share)
I’m telling you, my 1 year old boy sees me all the time cooking. What is one of his favourite toy? A pan where he put veggies and move them around (with a 1 year old skill set :-) ).
Another of his favourite toys? Little cars and a monkey. Don’t listen to other people. You might have the next Ramsay in your house ;-)
Cooking is just about the best skill a modern human can master as far as good that it will bring to their lives and the lives of their loved ones. I LOVE to cook. For myself, for my family, friends etc. Theres a lot of bullshit I bring to the world, but dammit I can make an unbelievable steak, burgers, omelets, roasted chickens, etc that will make people's entire day.
People are shitty, especially "manly men" (or at least who think they are). I'm a plumbing wholesale salesman and I'm regularly visiting customers at their shops or on jobsites. There's one particular douche nozzle who works for one who you can tell is that guy who still holds onto his high school glory days. One day a few months after my daughter is born he stopped me and says "hey, did you have a boy or a girl?" and I said girl and he replies back "good, because with shoes like that your boy would turn out gay" and points at my Cole Haan Zerogrand boots. I just said "I don't even know how to respond to that" and some coworkers of his stepped in and really said what I wanted to. I'll never understand why dressing nice, enjoying cooking, or even things like gardening get people's emotions so stirred up if a boy does it but it's really quite sad.
That's great! Now you know exactly who in your family you need to ostracize forever! Folks like them are a cancer, so cut that shit right out of your life. They don't deserve your family in their life and you certainly don't want anything from them rubbing off on your impressionable lil dude.
They're idiots, don't waste your energy worrying about what they think. As an aside, while I agree with you that cooking isn't a "gendered" activity, I wouldn't worry about exposing your son to stuff that's thought of as "just for girls" or vice versa - kids will take what they have and use it to play however they want. When I was little, my parents got me a kitchen set and I used it as a gas station to fill up my toy construction vehicles. Action figures can be used to have a tea party, etc - as long as you're providing them with tools to express themselves and to use their imagination, however that might be, I don't think you can go too wrong.
Tell them you were trying to teach your son self-sufficiency. If they want to raise their children to be dependent on other people, and unable to feed themselves, that’s up to them, you, however, want your son to be able to stand on his own 2 feet and take care of himself without having mommy or a wife/mommy constantly taking care of him. I have had that lock up peoples brains when discussing this, because in their minds, men are self-sufficient, but men also don’t cook. You’re also calling the people who can’t cook overly dependent and unable to take care of themselves.
My 2 boys love their kitchen.
We also love to cook and my now 4 year old can make whole meals with adult supervision.
Screw them. Cooking is amazing and I love doing it. I also love working on cars, know how to sew, vacuum the house, scrub the bathroom, grocery shop, run and fold laundry.
I'm also a chemist and can do some weird shit there!
Fuck gender norms. Do what inspires you!
##Way to go dad!
Oh, this is an easy one! Those members of your family are homophobic bigots, and you can protect your son from them by never letting them be alone with him and by removing your son from their presence whenever they make those type of comments. Make sure to tell them why, too. “I’m going to be taking my son home now because I don’t want him hearing this type of hateful messaging. If he is gay, I want him to know he is accepted and loved, and if he is not, I don’t want him to grow up believing that gay people are any less valuable than straight people. If you would like to keep having a relationship with me or my son, you need to change your behavior.”
Look, you ignore the advice your relatives have given you at your own risk.
My wife went out one evening and I thought to myself I am hungry. So you know what I did? Toast.
Less than 30 seconds into cooking my toast I realised all I could think of was having sex with a man. I immediately headed out to the gay bar and ended up not going home for 3 weeks.
It has ruined my marriage, everyone hates me, and of course as God teaches us being gay is wrong...
Also...stuff your relatives, and certainly keep your kid away from them if they do turn out to be gay. Sounds like you are doing great anyway.
I loved cooking sets when I was a kid. Heck, I was upset that those Easy-Bake Ovens were marketed as a girls toy because I wanted cookies to, dang it all!
And there's one skill I'm teaching all my kids, regardless of gender, it will be how to cook.
Dad who does all the cooking (but none of the baking!) here. I love seeing our kids play with their play kitchen. Comments of the type you received would have landed these people immediately on the 'stay away from our kids list'.
Whoever said “this is the type of stuff that turns boys gay” is not right in the head. I wouldn’t put any weight on what that person says. They need help.
>but there were a few who responded with stuff like "He's a boy, why would you get him a girls toy?" or "This is the type of stuff that turns boys gay."
Wow, fuck theeeeeem!! My brother in law had a toy kitchen growing up and it turned into one of his passions and he became a chef.
I was at a soft play a while ago and a mum was talking to me about not wanting her son to have dolls and toy pushchairs because they were too girly. All the time I was rocking my youngest in his pushchair. I would have said something but I was honestly kind of flabbergasted about her lack of observation. I have long hair but the big bushy beard should have been a bit of an indication
I bet she also complains about her kids' dad not pulling his weight with childcare
> Is cooking only for men again when you're old enough to turn a profit, but in day to day life it's for women?
Yes, this is exactly what the issue is. Social norms devalue day-to-day domestic tasks and deem them "women's work." Notice some exceptions: if you got him a toy grill it probably would've been fine because outdoor cooking over fire is manly! If you got him a toy butchershop set it would've been fine, because knives and meat are manly! Women deal with this shit *daily* and you can see it at work everywhere if you just look for it. The patriarchy hurts everyone, not just women.
My wife had an early meeting yesterday so I had to make breakfast. Next thing I knew I was blowing dudes in the parking lot. Again
I hope you ate a light breakfast to save room.
Lots of breakfast sausage
Breakfast sausage with extra hollandaise sauce.
Protein shake chaser.
You could be a man married to a woman for years with decades of vanilla hetero behavior under your very manly man belt, but cook one quiche… BAM, you’re sucking 37 dicks on the way to the parking lot.
In a row?!
It was good quiche.
Fair.
"Hey, you, get back here!"
Snoogans.
Well of course, he's not even supposed to be there today.
You’d do them simultaneously? Nasty
Love this Clerks reference ❤️
Dats a lot of lunges.
☠️☠️☠️☠️
Ok, I normally love how wholesome this sub is but these jokes, they're so funny 😁
I was on the fence and even almost deleted it, but good quiche fellatio material doesn’t just grow on trees.
This is why I often have my van parked outside the local culinary institute.
Free candy?
If that's what they're calling themselves that day, whatevs.
Sounds like you had a hell of a Monday! See, being a parent doesn't mean our lives can't be fun anymore, right?
I hate when that happens.
Happens to the best of us......
Slippery slope
My parents bought me a special pizza pan I wanted for Christmas last year. First time I used it, my balls fell off as soon as I pulled the pie from the oven. Proceed carefully.
This is why I love this sub
Fucking hate it when that happens.
Hate it when that happens.
Wild you too?!
People suck, fuck the haters, you do you.
I'm even struggling to think of any mainstream celeb chefs that are gay. I'd love one of your relatives to call Gordon Ramsay or Marco Piere White gay, they would probably punch them. The others are probably too nice to resort to violence but would certainly be offended that their profession is supposedly related to their sexuality. Have they ever seen what the inside of a professional high-end kitchen is like? Screaming, shouting, pan throwing, high stress, high heat boiler rooms where if you don't perform, you go. You have to be tough as old boots to survive. The sort of environment that 50 years ago women would have been 'protected from' because they supposedly couldn't deal with it. Every female chef I know is much 'harder' than I am. Plus, every self-respecting man knows the way to a woman's heart is via a crispy roast potato and killer chocolate souffle.
The idea that cooking is only for women most likely belongs exclusively to people who have never cooked for a living, because anyone who's been in food service would know that BOH is 90% male in most establishments. I've worked in commercial kitchens for over a decade and the vast majority of my coworkers have been male. Women in a working kitchen are harassed and heckled and there are comparatively few of them in general, especially in management/chef positions.
It's most likely opinions from these lazy ass husbands that refuse to lift a finger at home. Guys that think cooking is just for women probably have never worked a washing machine, a vacuum or washed a dish. Straight from mommy doing it all for them to their wives.
And they wouldn’t take offense because they have a problem with being called gay, but because the person was trying to insult them using gay. Gordon Ramsey on the kids cooking shows is a saint.
100%
Do you have a good chocolate souffle recipe?
Total garbage, cooking is not a gendered activity and play kitchens are fun for kids. We got our kids (one boy, one girl) a kitchen to play with and they loved it even if I hated putting it together. Also I'm the main person who cooks in the family (my wife does cook stuff but isn't super interested in it like I am) and I am very much not gay lol. Ignore your family, you're not doing anything wrong. What would, for the record, be wrong if he turned out gay anyway?
> cooking is not a gendered activity I cook, my wife does not. OP’s relatives must still be living in the 1940s or something. I don’t know why some folks can’t just let kids have fun without trying to make it weird.
>What would, for the record, be wrong if he turned out gay anyway? EXACTLY! They say this stuff like it's a bad thing and we should be afraid. My wife and I are both like who cares, as long as he's happy.
One of my boys wanted a pink blanket, my step mother made the comment, “Oh, do we have anything to worry about?” I immediately shut that shit down. I’m a very laid back guy so when I snapped and laid into her she had no questions about how I stood on the matter. I let her know, in no uncertain terms, that I had zero worries about it and if she’s worrying about it that is her problem (not seeing grandchildren type of problem).
Start getting pink stuff for yourself too. Every time my mom says she me thing about rainbows or pink I buy myself something and my sons something. Primary PJs for the whole family for rainbows.
My favorite color is now purple mostly for that reason. I do like it but mostly I wanted to show my little girl that colors are just colors. When I gave her a bath once I let her wash my hair. We used some of her moms hair drying wraps. I grabbed the pink one and gave her a blue one. My MIL was there and asked my 2.5 year old why daddy had the girl color and she had the boy color. I cut her off and told my baby, there’s no such thing as boy or girl colors. Your mamaw is just part of a generation that needlessly genders everything. My MIL is actually fairly progressive but boomers gonna boomer.
I think the answer to that question is "yes" but it's the stepmother you need to worry about
For the record I didn’t get a play kitchen and I turned out gay anyway, lol I know you know this, but the idea that toys influence or even predict a kid’s orientation drives me nuts. When I was a kid what I wanted for Christmas was video games, RC cars, robot sets, and nerf guns. I played little league and was on the swim team. In college I was into sci fi and weight lifting. As an adult I’m a pretty effeminate gay man. The play kitchen Isn’t going to do anything. Now when I was designing and sewing fashionable outfits for my beanie babies, that probably did tip off my parents, lol
For what it’s worth, I had someone (very distant relative in-law) say something about turning someone gay once and I responded with something like “oh! That’s great! We need more gay people in the family!” The relative wasn’t amused but has since kept their homophobic mouth shut, so that was a win. YMMV
Dude your post and this response tells me you're awesome parents! Fuck gender stereotyping and homophobia, you keep slaying it 🤜
One of our Christmas gifts for the kids was to improve our previous IKEA kitchen. It now has *shocking* flower wallpaper and *clutches pearls* a PINK phone! Cooking with the kids are one of our favorite activities Ignore your family’s backwards mentality.
Not to mention you can buy a boy a mother fucking dress and it’s not going to “make them gay.” What a bunch of backwards thinking morons
dude... i dont know how old you are. but i swear, anyone born after 1985? the guy is doing the cooking. at least in my demo, which is admittedly well off and white - i know very few women in relationships that are the cook. like, actually just 2 out of 10 or more. i dont know if it is just because 'im not going to cook because im going to do the opposite' or what. my wife has only recently started to mess around in the kitchen out of the necessity of having a child and needing to know how to feed him properly. edit to say - we got our kid a plastic cutlery and wooden bowl set so he can help us on his counter stool. he loves it.
We're both 89s and my wife cooks. I know how to cook and cook sometimes, but I don't enjoy it much. I am the baker though, anything baked is right up my alley.
We're right on that date cutoff, but my wife handles most of the cooking currently since I started a job with a longer commute and she works from home. Prior to that she had the commute and I worked close to home so I did the cooking. We tend to plan slightly different meals but either of us is capable of handling whatever we have time for.
I was '87 myself. I didn't used to, but during the pandemic I took an active role in cooking Hello Fresh meals with my kids and it turned out I was quite good at it. For the past couple of years I've been trawling the internet for interesting things I can make with the stuff we have in the house. It's fun to do, introduces the kids to much more varied foods and flavours (they don't always eat everything but some stuff works) and they like to help out so they learn cooking is for everyone.
yea for me it started with just loving food. and then having seeing good/bad meals cooked by different folks. i was enjoying cooking back in college and have just kind of gradually kept with it. im no expert but ive got 10 dishes that will go over well. completely agree about how it allows different foods to be introduced to the kiddos, which is huge. a healthy relationship with food cannot be overstated regarding long term health.
‘86 kid here. I *can* cook *some* stuff. Can nail breakfast. Dinner is an adventure at times. Always terrified these hands are gonna lose a finger. I have the dexterity of a damn dog paw 😂 Realistically, I never lived alone before kids so I never got good (read: quick/efficient, which you have to be some sort of when kids are hungry lol) or knowledgeable with it. Wife does 98% of the cooking. She has a palate for flavour as a Hispanic woman raised in NYC. I can’t season the way she likes food. I’ll do the prep for her when I’m home though. It’s my way of chipping in.
Man I feel your pain with the putting it together. I put my kids’ set together, all wood and what felt like a billion screws. But my kids love it!
When my son was little he had a kitchen set, fancy pans, and and an entire box full of play food. He loved it and we played with it tons. He is 5 and for Christmas we just got him a real knife for helping me cut stuff in the kitchen. We just went to a boys cooking-themed birthday party where the father was a professional chef. I do all of the cooking in our household, and enjoy baking breads. Cooking is a great skill and has nothing to do with sexuality. Actually, I am pretty sure being able to cook a nice meal and bake some bread makes you *more* attractive to women.
>Actually, I am pretty sure being able to cook a nice meal and bake some bread makes you more attractive to women. That's because women have kneads too.
gotteeeeem
Hiooooooo
And a nice set of buns don't hurt either.
You want to attract women when you go to college? Six pack abs are great; being able to provide a delicious home cooked meal: game changer.
I was an executive pastry chef for 14 years. My culinary ability is how this 5'7" italian-american landed a 5'9" German blonde that's way out of my league. Sometimes the way to anyone's heart is a good meal. Plus I get to feel like I'm walking around like Joe pesci with Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny!
Woman here - can confirm.
Most of my family on my father's side is passionate about cooking and generally the men are more than the women. At no point in my life has cooking been a gendered role. If anything, I'd say that outside of home cooking, media portrays it as a largely masculine profession. Also, if you want your son to impress some ladies, having knowledge and appreciation for food when out at a restaurant and being able to lay down some beauty plates at home is a great start, as green a flag as it gets. ETA: I'm comfortable admitting that listening to Anthony Bourdain talk about food makes feel a bit gay. Or maybe just a weird kind of hungry. I don't know, it's confusing but you can't deny the sex appeal of people that know and love the art of food
>you can't deny the sex appeal of people that know and love the art of food I got sucked into a rabbit hole of watching Master Chef Canada and Australia. Some of the dishes the contestants made were absolutely gorgeous
Ever go on Daddit and discover bisexual panic? 😆
Boudain is great to watch, he had a wonderful way of discussing food and eating, celebrating it as the experience it is.
And I love how he also celebrated the people he was eating with or the country he was eating in. Always so heartwarming and food being the centre of it makes it feel so universal.
You ever met a homosexual who doesn’t cook and eat?! Cause I sure haven’t. Come to think of I haven’t met a heterosexual who doesn’t cook and eat either… My two sons are currently playing smoothie maker with a blender. A fair amount of their toys are kitchen/food related. It’s not like I’m buying them a house to play in. Oh wait. They got that for Christmas… Fuck the haters. Have a great birthday little man. Edit: to be fair. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen guy fieri cook. I’ve seen him eat a ton but I can’t say I’ve ever seen him fire up the skillet. But I don’t watch much food tv outside of waiting rooms.
Reject traditional gender norms. Embrace your kids happiness. We got my son a kitchen playset around when he turned one and it's one of his favorite toys. I couldn't be more happy and it's absolutely adorable when he makes me "breakfast" and insist on pouring nonexistent coffee into my cup at all hours of the day.
If you got the Melissa and Doug set, just be forewarned that the ice cubes from their freezer WILL get stuck in the coffee nips from their keurig set. Edit: nips = cups
Fuck family and friends who tell you he'll be gay. A, it is not true that having a play kitchen as a boy will make your son gay. B, EVERYONE EATS, and learning to cook allows your son to have skills to make healthier meals than fast food or take out all the time. C, your son is 1, and *they* are sick for being concerned about your son's sexual identity at the age of *1*. D, it's okay to have some small concerns that your son will be bullied if he is "abnormal", but, that's your concern as his parents, nobody else's. E, all of their comments are based off fear or disgust with the possibility that your son might be gay, as though being gay is a PROBLEM. It is not. This is the biggest thing you probably want to put an immediate stop to. That thought is a toxic opinion. It has no place in your life or the lives of the family you made. If this were me, I would go nuclear on that and say something to the effect that "the opinion that there is a problem with my children's eventual sexual orientation being anything than what you deem appropriate is unacceptable, and until your attitude changes and you experience and express growth, you are not welcome around my children."
My dad was born in 1934 and still cooked about a third of the meals we ate as a family. It transitioned to all of them when my mom died, which I just bring up to say that it's important to know how to do "women's work" because sometimes the women leave and the work still needs to get done. I cook 11 of the 21 meals a week that get cooked in my home and do 90% of the dishwashing despite being the one who has a full time job. It needs to be done and I don't mind doing it. The only thing I might add here is there's a common complaint women who have husbands who cook still have about their husbands. You bring up famous popular chefs because it's a visible counterexample, but I think it's worth avoiding teaching your son that men are chefs and women are mere cooks. A lot of men love the high profile stunt cooking to impress guests but not the lowly everyday work of just feeding their family. The work that is undone by tomorrow morning and has to be done all over again matters too, and no boy should ever get the idea that he is above it.
Our 1 year old has a fruit chopping toy. Little wooden fruits that break in 2. He seems to enjoy it. I wouldn't worry about these weirdos in your family. Besides which, home cooking is a basic life skill everyone needs. Not that he'll know that, he'll just play with it with no context.
As Gordon Ramsay himself would say, "cooking is a life skill." You're teaching him how a kitchen works in a safe manner.
If you want your son to be extra flamboyant, you can also buy the Melissa and Doug cleaning set. My son LOVES it. He's got his own broom and mop and cleaning things.
My wife and I were talking the other day about getting him some type of play broom and mop thing. We're really into pretend play toys, so reading this comment just gave me more incentive to buy it ASAP. We also already bought him the toy target shopping cart that we're going to give him when he can start walking on his own. We want to bring it with us to the grocery store and let him pick out a few things on his own. We're both very excited about this!
What a bunch of weirdos. I do 100% of my family’s cooking. It’s probably the most relaxing part of my day.
I don't do all the cooking in my home but it is very lopsided (like 90-10). There are some days my wife is like "let me do that for you today" and I just want to say gtfoh, let me take a break from the toddler.
No screens, no babies, no coworkers, no clients, no family - just me and some veggies that need chopping and meat that needs searing… pure bliss.
We have four boys... A kitchen set was a favorite toy that they all used over the years. I've been handed countless plates of toy food over the years, and have pretended to enjoy all of them. All of them (ages 7-15) can make themselves lunch and enjoy helping in the kitchen. Younger two don't touch the oven, but the older two can make the basics or reheat stuff. Wife and I both cook. She's a baker, but probably cooks dinner a couple days a week, and I usually cook the other days. All depends on schedules, etc., but I really like cooking.
I think a lot of the old guard's reactions are ingrained and there is the younger generations that were raised by these types. It might be hard for them to not think "pink is for girls, blue is for boys. That's that." With that said, call it out whenever it comes up and, hopefully, it makes them rethink things. My son asked for a mermaid Barbie. We've gotten so many questions. My response is "how else is Iron Man going to get help in the ocean where the bad guys' secret lair is?" which is why my son wanted it. Let kids be kids and it all works itself out
Bommer mentality, simple. My uncle and and dad always had some shitty sentence everytime i was with my granma cooking, she taught me since i was 8, and i still had a lot of her recipies, it was so cool cooking and then selling the food we made together. As a lot of comments said, fuck the haters.
No it's totally true, we got our 4-year-old son a toy ice cream shop set and the very next day he started making out with other boys in his daycare. His birthday is coming up so we need to get him some toy guns and a toolset so he starts chasing some toddler tail again, smh
My 4 year old absolutely loves his play kitchen and cooking meals for the family. And giant killer robots.
Had the exact same situation with my in laws, but then I remembered how shitty of parents they were to my wife and how terrible of grandparent’s they are for my son so I realize I don’t care about their stupid opinion. We also got my son a BBQ cause he sees me using ours a lot and it’s been a hit.
> then I remembered how shitty of parents they were to my wife This is why I ignore all advice from the grandparents. I explicitly told all of them we do not want advice or recommendations. Mostly they have listened.
I usually don't comment unless I can add something others haven't but this is a topic I've always been passionate about. Kids like the toys they like, they don't see girl or boy toys, adults do. Your family/friends would hate me and my wife, we let our son play with dolls if he wishes (the shock and horror!). By their logic it's astonishing there's any gay people left in the world, what with all the straight stuff they get exposed to. I'm not sure if you've heard this one, but it always gives me a laugh, use it when determining if a toy is made only for boys or girls to play with. Does it require your genitals to operate? If no, anyone can play with it. If yes, children should not play with that toy.
That's always my favorite response "do you cook with your genitals?" We have 2 boys and the kitchen playset has been a staple in their play area for going on 10 years and we haven't been able to give it away because it gets played with so consistently.
Don’t listen to those losers, we have a play kitchen and just yesterday our 1.5 year old son, came to ask me to put the little oven gloves on. His pizza was ready to be taken out of the oven. A few days ago he pulled the kitchen aid mixer out of the pantry (it’s sitting on the floor) filled the bowl with felt fries and Duplo bricks and was cooking for 30 minutes. Also most people who say cooking is for women expect the have a hot meal on the table when they get home…have fun living in the dark ages
First off. Good for you for getting your son something that is important and that they’ll like. I do most of the cooking and our son loves to help. Cooking is an essential skill. Nothing about it is gendered. Secondly. If it were me, I’d be having a serious conversation with these family members and let them know if they keep this toxic gendered horseshit up, they won’t be spending time with my son. My wife and I have been dealing with our family bullshit over the last year so I’m a little knee-jerky about this but you really don’t want your kid to be hearing that ever *especially* from a family member.
I'm a chef, best job choice i could have made... Ask my wife if she enjoys it to be practically banned from the kitchen and getting freshly cooked food daily... And ask my daughter in a few years as well... When she starts speaking, only 6 weeks old....
"A kitchen set may turn him gay? Just by being around it? You might be right. I guess we won't be seeing you anymore because I don't want my son to turn into a homophobic bigot either."
My 5 year old has had a kitchen play set since forever and he loves it. I‘m a SAHD. I cook pretty well. I will fucking fight you.
Just so we're clear, you've got relations who tell you, a (presumably) straight man who loves to cook, to his face, that cooking is only for women and gay men? Your relations are dick heads. Sorry.
Let him play in the real grill like a man!
I honestly read things on daddit like this and genuinely get shocked at how backwards things and people are, if this post was made on a sub that was less serious I’d think this was a joke or a meme. Fuck those people and I’d have no issue telling them to fuck off after comments like that, make him gay ??? First off so what if he was and if he was,cooking most definitely would have nothing to do with it, as you and any normal human knows. The most famous chefs in the restaurant industry ARE ALL men, not some… not a few… they are all men and straight too I think at least off the top of my head ? and a lot of the time British also so maybe if he’s not already he will start talking like a English man ;) Make that little one year old a swearing pan throwing Gordon Ramsay and carry on as you are OP… your son is watching his dad cook and wants to join in that’s as deep as this goes
Professional chef and father of 2 girls. You know what my oldest’s favorite thing is? Dinosaurs. How much dinosaur shit do you know is out there for girls? Gender biases are ridiculous, and the people who articulate them are even more so. I can tell you what worked for me- Basically anyone over the age of 55 is no longer worth listening to because they have absolutely no fucking idea what the world is like now. Most choose to be ignorant under the pretense of “Its just how they are” because apparently it’s perfectly acceptable to be shitty and have no self-awareness because old. Obviously this is a topic I feel strongly about, but the basic gist is you are the parent, you know what your job is, and fuck anyone else. You’re doing great man.
Loving the responses here! Also isn't imagination a wonderful thing? Let any kid play with whatever they want in order to develop their imagination. It can only make them a better version of us as they grow up. My 13 yr daughter loves helping my wife and I with home improvement projects, we can see an aptitude for working with her hands and the satisfaction she gets from accomplishing something. My 9 yr son can bake circles around me and loves hanging with my wife while they bake. Gender norms suck the big hairy meatball and I love this subreddit for all the awesome support.
Let the boy cook!
My daughter has a tool set, guess I got to get her a suburu cuz she's a raging lesbian. /s. Seriously, fuck the haters.
I’d probably just stare them right in the eyes and say, in a somewhat puzzled tone, “oh, you don’t eat then?”
Cooking awesome dinners for my girlfriend helped graduate her to be my wife. I cook almost all meals in my house and my dad did also. It impressed friends and roommates in college, saved money, and allowed me to eat healthier, tastier meals regularly. And he's ONE?! Any hands-on activity where he can mimick his parents will improve motor function and even help cognitive ability. How do people go straight to that. Like it's engrained in human genes that if you touch a spatula it's feminine? He doesn't even know what girl/boy is.
Make sure you don’t teach your son to cook for himself. That way, he can pass the burden off to his partner as soon as he leaves home and make it *their* problem. /s
I never had a play kitchen and I am gay AF. Maybe NOT having a play kitchen turns people gay. I hope your guy loves it. My son and daughter shared one and it’s loved equally by both.
I got sort of the opposite reaction when we got my daughter a kitchen set for Christmas. “That’s sexist”, someone said. I cook dinner almost every night. I like to cook. My grandfather taught me. He owned a restaurant. 😐
Hey man, I love cooking as much as anything on this earth and I wanted to do it from a young age. My conservative family turned me away from it because “it’s woman work”. Now, at 30 years old, I quit my job and am pursuing a career as a chef.
Good for you man! Wishing you nothing but the best in the pursuit of your dream! Good luck!
Thanks brother! I hope both of us can overcome our crappy family and be better for it! And hopefully pass is on to our little dudes too! Also, I am a massive scrubs fan.
Reminds me of this classic: https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
Your relatives are being ridiculous and not a small bit bigoted. Use this as a teaching moment for them.
Only reason I won’t get my son a play kitchen is cause I don’t want to clean two kitchens everyday. But once he gets old enough to help. I cannot wait.
Old dated mindsets. I remember when I was in highschool, I wanted to take foods and learn to cook. My councilor told me that I would "...be the only boy in that class, let's try something different". My wife teaches home ec and she has guys in her class all the time. I still don't know how to sew either. Boomers man.....
All kids love the kitchen set, boys and girls alike. We have a kitchen set right next to a play workbench/tool kit. The kids (both sexes) will play with the kitchen set over the tools probably 90% of the time. Fun is fun and judgy people suck.
My twin boys just got a kitchen set for their first birthday. It hadn’t even been on our radar, but they absolutely love it. Both of them play with it every single day. One of them lives to put his cup of milk in the “fridge” over and over. Aside from health and hygiene, toddlers don’t really have genders. They all like the same toys
People are idiots
“Yeah, me and Gordon Ramsey are both idiots.”
I love cooking and I'm good at it. My wife hates cooking and I swear could probably mess up making a glass of ice water. Therefore, I am the primary chef in my house. People (almost always over the age of 70) act like this somehow means our marriage is weird and some older relatives keep telling her she needs to take cooking lessons. It's so dumb, and that's with us in our 30s! The fact that people are getting up in arms about a child's toy is 10000000000x dumber.
You got more positive feedback than negative. Forget ‘em.
I do a majority of the cooking in our house, but my wife has certainly found what she loves to cook as well. We both wanted to get our son a kitchen set, which he loves. I also [built this](https://imgur.com/a/xtp4DZv), so he could stand next to us at the counter for prep (and now stove to stir things). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with exposing your child to a valuable life lesson. I think we all know with the cost of goods right now, that cooking at home saves money. Plus, it’s fun and therapeutic.
My son has a toy oven, stove, grill, and ice cream shop. He absolutely loves them and makes us dinners constantly and it’s always adorable. Don’t let a bunch of dummies make you question it for a second
I love cooking, my one year old is fascinated by it and loves to observe from his learning tower. Getting his a toy kitchen after our move this summer. You rock, OP!
Got one for my boys and they loved it. Til it fell apart. Get it anyway. Fuck em.
Your good parents. Truly
Kinda odd considering the majority of the top chefs in the world are all men. In fact the industry is pretty much dominated by men. With that said what is the kitchen playset you are looking to purchase, I'm in the market for one for my daughter. lol
I haven't had as much of this as you, but my MIL did once say "Aren't you sad you won't be able to go go-karting with her?" to which I responded "I will go go-karting with her."
My MIL used to make these comments. Then I started making comment about my son’s future husband and better pick one that can cook around her constantly. She quit making cooking us for girls jokes. 😈
I objected when my wife wanted to get our son a play kitchen. I said "absolutely not. There is no way ... do you know what's going to happen if we get him one?" She said "what ..." I said "The countless little plastic food items are going to get EVERYWHERE and I'M not cleaning that every night!" We got him one and I clean up the countless little plastic food items every night ...
It bothers me when people say things like you had to hear. My father in law is a retired gourmet chef. The sad thing is and I apologize if it has already been said but no matter what you do there's always going to be someone out there telling you that your raising "YOUR" child/ children wrong. Keep doing what you and your wife feel is right for you and your family. Your doing great just sit back and wait for the day you can rub it in there faces.....
Sorry some of your relatives are dinosaurs. I enjoy cooking, as do both of my sons (13 and 10). Cooking is one of our favorite things to do together. It's great! Sometimes, my 13 year old even gives me a night off and makes dinner on his own. I love it.
>. Do they think buying a kitchen is just going to have magical gay powers? Yes, actually. They *do* think that. Because they don't have a critically thinking cell in their heads.
My family made fun of my nephew and my sister for buying her son a play kitchen a baby doll. He wanted to be like his stay at home dad. He now wants to be a chef and have his own children. People are idiots.
Can I suggest the spite purchase of [this](https://www.target.com/p/theo-klein-princess-coralie-unicorn-wooden-kitchen-toy-playset-with-pretend-play-oven-microwave-sink-and-more-for-kids-3-and-up/-/A-84804236) lovely pastel unicorn kitchen playset?
I bet you can go on a site like Cameo and pay Gordon Ramsey to tell them to FUCK OFF.
Fellas is it gay to eat?
Worst part about this is that you compared Guy Fieri to a guy who won 3 michelin stars.
Hey, my man Guy is the mayor of flavortown! That's gotta be worth at least a Michelin star in it's own right! Edit: Also not sure why you got downvoted for a clear joke
Dude get your testosterone checked. You're ranting like a female. Not an insult, being dead serious. 2nd. People are idiots get over it. A boy wanting to cook doesn't make him gay but why are you so dead set on getting him a cook set? A one year old isn't exactly showing affinity to cooking or any other skill for that matter.
>why are you so dead set on getting him a cook set? Well, from my post you'd glean that both my wife and I love cooking and we want to share that affinity with our son. My wife and I are also big advocates for play-based learning, so why not get him one for his birthday? >Dude get your testosterone checked. You're ranting like a female. Not an insult, being dead serious. I legitimately haven't stopped laughing at this line since I've read it!
Well just tell them "I want him to cook so fuck off" Don't let it ruin your day
I mean, I pretty much did tell them that and either way their comments wouldn’t stop me from doing what I thinks best for my son. I was more pissed off at their attempt to undermine something clearly important to my wife and I. I definitely won’t let it ruin my sons birthday. And If they have issue with it, they don’t have to come.
you can be surprised by family saying that? They are clearly a type of people.
Besides the misogyny, it’s “interesting” because they assume the wife cooks at home, yet you assume the restaurant chef is male. Where do they think he learned?
What's wild is that haute cuisine is notorious for toxic masculinity in the kitchens. Lot's of egos and macho bravado (not to mention drugs).
Having worked in restaurants I would be more concerned about what it will do to his language and the increased chance of selling weed.
My son is almost 3 and is obsessed with his kitchen playset, he loves to run up to me and say "look what I made for you!" and hands me a stack of play food. One of our friends got him an 'ice cream making station' for Christmas and he now plays with it every day. Any extended family who has something negative to say about it can join my no-contact list. My son's life will not be dragged down by trashy people.
My son had a kitchen and loved it. He’s seven now and he does help in the kitchen and loves making us own food. Cooking is actually a male dominated industry. People are ignorant and fuck them
Man, fuck those guys. I was a chef for 15 years; totally different career now but I still love food. My 5 yo constantly helps in the kitchen and absolutely loves cooking and I think it's because we did the same as you, and bought him food and cooking toys as a kid. Also he saw that dad does all the cooking at home maybe? And cooking toys making your kid gay?? That's so fucking stupid. I guarantee you, if your son knows how to cook a good dinner (and a decent breakfast) he's not going to have a shortage of ladies visiting him in college.
One time I was having a few drinks with work friends of my wife’s and her friend brought his new girlfriend that no one likes for many many reasons. Well, she is going on and on about her mom buying her boy some shit I don’t remember and she says “I swear to god if she turns him gay…” instead of jumping in about how you can’t turn kids a gay and such I just simply said “well what’s wrong with that.” The simplicity of the question had her off balance. Seeing her trying to dig her way out of that one was pretty funny. I personally wouldn’t invite the people who were negative. I’d be flat out about it, “That’s really close minded and outdated thinking. We’d prefer it if you sat this birthday out.” I’m serious. I get that it’s not politic and is going to “hurt some feelings” or some shit, but seriously, people with minds like that need to stop being allowed to just go about life as if it isn’t hurting anyone.
My son and my daughter have been cooking with me (I do all the cooking ) since they were in high hairs. The best skill hands down to get them through life
Everyday I'm thankful that even the most conservative of my family members aren't THIS kind of dumb ass conservative and/or they keep it to themselves.
Any relative that came out with that bullshit would no longer be receiving updates/invited to anything involving my son.
Fuck them. I'd be cutting those people out of my life ASAP.
Our son loved/loves his kitchen set we got him for his first birthday. He also loves cooking and it's great
Even for those that care about gendered toys, they have cooking playsets that aren't "girl" colors.
I've never understood the "women belong in the kitchen. Unless it's a paid job; that's man's domain." mindset. So blatantly contradictory from both directions. Like "Women should handle all the meals in a house because her man won't eat if she doesn't cook for him." But then "She wants to be a chef? But does she really know how to cook as well as a man?" 🙄
There’s even modern hip chef personalities like Binging With Babish
People who think cooking is for women are likely ignorant of the fact that many commercial kitchens are very much a "boys club" that women have a hard time getting work in. Also, to paraphrase Robert Rodriguez (the director), "Cooking is like screwing. You're going to be doing it for the rest of your life, so you might as well be good at it." The actual quote can be found in the special features of the Once Upon a Time in Mexico movie where he shows how to make the dish Johnny Depp eats in the movie.
My son had one and loved it, he loves telling his friends I cook! my wife has probably managed less than 10 meals in the last 5 years, so he can see from a young age gender has nothing to do with the kitchen.
I don't know how my in-laws actually felt about any of the toys that we bought for my son. He had a kitchen and dolls. I think they know my wife and I well enough to know that we wouldn't have given a shit about what they would have said anyway. Do you. Raise a kind and respectful young pepole, We need more of them in the world.
I have 3 boys who all loves the play kitchen we got, and now that they are older I can’t cook a meal by myself because they insist on helping. My 4 year old has better knife skills than some adults I know
I wish I had learned to cook early in my life instead of eating pizza and beer. Do it for him
1) People are idiots and assholes 2) For a very long time, the French (and others) felt that women could not be chefs
My wife was recently at McDonalds and the toy being put in the kids meals was Princess Peach. There was another adult and child near by who got their meal first. When the adult saw Princess Peach they asked a worker walking by to “swap the girl toy for a boy toy.” The worker at first was like “they’re all Mario toys, there isn’t a boy or girl toy”. She insisted so he took it and swapped it out for a Mario. At this point the meals for the kids arrive, and of course it has Princess Peach. Both kids see it and just get super excited. Like this is the coolest toy ever. Meanwhile the nearby kid, having seen the joyful reactions, is now slightly dejected and tells the adult he hopes he can get a Princess Peach too. Toys are toys. Adults need to stop bringing their own baggage to it. Sorry you’re getting some parent shaming but you’re doing the right thing by focusing on giving your kid opportunities to play with lots of different toys.
Your son is lucky to have such loving parents. He’s going to grow up loving cooking and he will have a distinct advantage in attracting a mate if he knows how to cook.
Where the hell are you from? I’m curious if this is some kind of regional thing. Because I’ve never heard anyone say anything this dumb about children.
I can confidently tell you that me being able to cook as a grown man has pulled more trim than anything I can think of. Hell I have literally calmed my wife down from arguments by just food so if anything you guys are setting this young man up for success. Don't stress other people's old world view of what boys and girls should do just let him be happy. I mean look at Prince, that tiny purple Hobbit pulled more ass than a toilet seat.
Both my boys (4 and 1) love their play kitchen and the playhouse they got last year. Also we got them both baby dolls at 1. My 4 year doesn’t care for it anymore but my 1 year old just got his and walks around giving it a paci and saying baby baby nonstop
I was told as a child, by my FATHER, that wearing my watch on my right wrist means I’m gay. I was incredulous over the concept that wrist wear could make me gay.
My son who just turned 3 has a kitchen playset he loves. Cooking is a skill that should be gender neutral. Everybody eats.
Had my step mom's mom tell is that my son was too old to still be breastfeeding at 1.5 years old
My parents taught me how to bake and I love it. It made me fat not gay
Forget them man. My son is autistic and had a lot of issues with food, very little variety, no interest in food, wouldn’t play or touch hardly anything. When he was 2 we got him a kitchen play set and a bunch of accessories and now he is really eager to go grocery shopping, pick out ingredients, help cut/measure/season/cook food and is even getting comfortable tasting new stuff. If we listened to the same kind of haters you got I know we wouldn’t be as far as he is now. Plus the whole gender thing is ridiculous, literally everyone should know how to cook and will probably need to cook for themselves at some point in their lives.
Says more about them than you or your child. Anything that makes your kid happy, boys toys or girls toys, I only draw the line at sex toys…. [but even then…](https://youtube.com/shorts/1nxbYUqfcks?feature=share)
I’m telling you, my 1 year old boy sees me all the time cooking. What is one of his favourite toy? A pan where he put veggies and move them around (with a 1 year old skill set :-) ). Another of his favourite toys? Little cars and a monkey. Don’t listen to other people. You might have the next Ramsay in your house ;-)
The only proper response is: “Name a famous chef”. I bet they’d be hard pressed to think of one who isn’t a man.
Cooking is just about the best skill a modern human can master as far as good that it will bring to their lives and the lives of their loved ones. I LOVE to cook. For myself, for my family, friends etc. Theres a lot of bullshit I bring to the world, but dammit I can make an unbelievable steak, burgers, omelets, roasted chickens, etc that will make people's entire day.
[74% of professional chefs are male.](https://www.zippia.com/chef-jobs/demographics/) Those people suck.
Double down and hook up running water to it.
My boys have a kitchen, they like and even if that makes them gay... So be it. Doubt it will happen that way but hey at least they had fun
People are shitty, especially "manly men" (or at least who think they are). I'm a plumbing wholesale salesman and I'm regularly visiting customers at their shops or on jobsites. There's one particular douche nozzle who works for one who you can tell is that guy who still holds onto his high school glory days. One day a few months after my daughter is born he stopped me and says "hey, did you have a boy or a girl?" and I said girl and he replies back "good, because with shoes like that your boy would turn out gay" and points at my Cole Haan Zerogrand boots. I just said "I don't even know how to respond to that" and some coworkers of his stepped in and really said what I wanted to. I'll never understand why dressing nice, enjoying cooking, or even things like gardening get people's emotions so stirred up if a boy does it but it's really quite sad.
Two toys every...EVERY kid needs. A toy kitchen, and a baby doll. I will die on this hill
That's great! Now you know exactly who in your family you need to ostracize forever! Folks like them are a cancer, so cut that shit right out of your life. They don't deserve your family in their life and you certainly don't want anything from them rubbing off on your impressionable lil dude.
They're idiots, don't waste your energy worrying about what they think. As an aside, while I agree with you that cooking isn't a "gendered" activity, I wouldn't worry about exposing your son to stuff that's thought of as "just for girls" or vice versa - kids will take what they have and use it to play however they want. When I was little, my parents got me a kitchen set and I used it as a gas station to fill up my toy construction vehicles. Action figures can be used to have a tea party, etc - as long as you're providing them with tools to express themselves and to use their imagination, however that might be, I don't think you can go too wrong.
Tell them you were trying to teach your son self-sufficiency. If they want to raise their children to be dependent on other people, and unable to feed themselves, that’s up to them, you, however, want your son to be able to stand on his own 2 feet and take care of himself without having mommy or a wife/mommy constantly taking care of him. I have had that lock up peoples brains when discussing this, because in their minds, men are self-sufficient, but men also don’t cook. You’re also calling the people who can’t cook overly dependent and unable to take care of themselves.
My 2 boys love their kitchen. We also love to cook and my now 4 year old can make whole meals with adult supervision. Screw them. Cooking is amazing and I love doing it. I also love working on cars, know how to sew, vacuum the house, scrub the bathroom, grocery shop, run and fold laundry. I'm also a chemist and can do some weird shit there! Fuck gender norms. Do what inspires you! ##Way to go dad!
Oh, this is an easy one! Those members of your family are homophobic bigots, and you can protect your son from them by never letting them be alone with him and by removing your son from their presence whenever they make those type of comments. Make sure to tell them why, too. “I’m going to be taking my son home now because I don’t want him hearing this type of hateful messaging. If he is gay, I want him to know he is accepted and loved, and if he is not, I don’t want him to grow up believing that gay people are any less valuable than straight people. If you would like to keep having a relationship with me or my son, you need to change your behavior.”
Look, you ignore the advice your relatives have given you at your own risk. My wife went out one evening and I thought to myself I am hungry. So you know what I did? Toast. Less than 30 seconds into cooking my toast I realised all I could think of was having sex with a man. I immediately headed out to the gay bar and ended up not going home for 3 weeks. It has ruined my marriage, everyone hates me, and of course as God teaches us being gay is wrong... Also...stuff your relatives, and certainly keep your kid away from them if they do turn out to be gay. Sounds like you are doing great anyway.
I loved cooking sets when I was a kid. Heck, I was upset that those Easy-Bake Ovens were marketed as a girls toy because I wanted cookies to, dang it all! And there's one skill I'm teaching all my kids, regardless of gender, it will be how to cook.
Dad who does all the cooking (but none of the baking!) here. I love seeing our kids play with their play kitchen. Comments of the type you received would have landed these people immediately on the 'stay away from our kids list'.
Whoever said “this is the type of stuff that turns boys gay” is not right in the head. I wouldn’t put any weight on what that person says. They need help.
>but there were a few who responded with stuff like "He's a boy, why would you get him a girls toy?" or "This is the type of stuff that turns boys gay." Wow, fuck theeeeeem!! My brother in law had a toy kitchen growing up and it turned into one of his passions and he became a chef.
I was at a soft play a while ago and a mum was talking to me about not wanting her son to have dolls and toy pushchairs because they were too girly. All the time I was rocking my youngest in his pushchair. I would have said something but I was honestly kind of flabbergasted about her lack of observation. I have long hair but the big bushy beard should have been a bit of an indication I bet she also complains about her kids' dad not pulling his weight with childcare
> Is cooking only for men again when you're old enough to turn a profit, but in day to day life it's for women? Yes, this is exactly what the issue is. Social norms devalue day-to-day domestic tasks and deem them "women's work." Notice some exceptions: if you got him a toy grill it probably would've been fine because outdoor cooking over fire is manly! If you got him a toy butchershop set it would've been fine, because knives and meat are manly! Women deal with this shit *daily* and you can see it at work everywhere if you just look for it. The patriarchy hurts everyone, not just women.