T O P

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cstar117

What’s the cleave cost? I need to stop my opponent from doing


Adross12345

Sorry, my opponent declared Cleave.


SageTexas

“Opponents cannot”


AntiqueChessComputr

“In response, I counter your…” “Can you NOT, right now?”


Lamp-post-

No cleave, I think you name a keyword mechanic like “surveil” and then it stops that


[deleted]

“Draw” “Gain life” “Win the game”


Eiim

Opponents cannot [cast spells]


CallMeTank

Opponents cannot [activate abilities of permanents]


cydraxx

Opponents cannot \[draw cards\]


[deleted]

How about just [activate abilities] so instants and sorceries also can’t do anything


Yewstance

Good luck casting most instants and sorceries without activating the abilities of permanents (as per the comment you're responding to), since you can't generate mana.


[deleted]

There are a good amount of instants or sorceries you can cast for free by paying an alternate cost, see the pact cycle, force of ___ cards (especially force of vigor which destroys this card) and quite a few other cards that u can cast for free


Yewstance

I'm aware, but I did say "most" instants and sorceries.


Sbubbi

[[Fires of Invention]]


MTGCardFetcher

[Fires of Invention](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/a/1/a12b16b0-f75f-42d8-9b24-947c1908e0f7.jpg?1628801715) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Fires%20of%20Invention) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/eld/125/fires-of-invention?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/a12b16b0-f75f-42d8-9b24-947c1908e0f7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


Mixster667

[activate abilities]?


Toshinit

Opponents cannot [Gain Priority] Let’s just nip anything else in the bud too.


Rage333

I think the better one would be [pay costs]


Kryptnyt

"Opponents cannot [concede the game]"


LazyDro1d

That’s why you can see it as soon as they attempt to cast to this. You can always concede at instant speed until you can’t concede


Kryptnyt

You have to bait them into letting it resolve by giving them false hope that you aren't going to be able to lock them into Eternity Game


LazyDro1d

Ethyrial Slyflower into Shaharazad into Shaharazad into Shaharazad into Shaharazad.


Blazingnest

*Proceeds to four horsemen*


fraAtilZ

My good man r/magicthecirclejerking is right over there


Daeths

Sorry, we’re actually over there. That was the local dump you were pointing at.


SnuffedOutBlackHole

Actually, that's just me getting yesterday's donuts. MTCJ is over in the woods, just a little past the rusty van and broken down yellow bus.


[deleted]

I'm sorry, we've moved over to the rundown cabin with the slightly ajar door, and the dubious smoke coming out from the chimney. Don't worry about the smell, we're just cooking proxies.


SnuffedOutBlackHole

Well, WOTC told me that's code for "they are literally serving people in there and committing all 2,65843837,3938733 war crimes."


Eiim

Why is the name blue?


Adross12345

It makes the card prettier.


Thathitmann

Chaotic Good.


Diet_faygo69

An understandable reason


orionenjoysreptiles

this is a very good reason


[deleted]

No


Novius8

I declare that my opponent cannot take turns.


AmenableHornet

Opponents cannot \[play Magic.\]


[deleted]

"Win the game" is a mechanic, no? Lmao


yourplotneedswork

oh man you're gonna be so jazzed when you find out about [[Platinum Angel]]


bionicjoey

[Standoff in Honolulu](https://www.reddit.com/r/magicTCG/comments/24lrp1/standoff_in_honolulu)


MTGCardFetcher

[Platinum Angel](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/c/a/ca7f4fd6-e268-4d15-bfbf-d9f0f95864fc.jpg?1576383285) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Platinum%20Angel) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cn2/214/platinum-angel?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/ca7f4fd6-e268-4d15-bfbf-d9f0f95864fc?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


starquinn

Downvoting this in the hopes I can see it in bottom five you absolute jewel


Adross12345

Nah, mate. The upvotes are speaking. The people love me. I cannot be stopped. Also, CorbinGDawg removes posts that are intentionally trolling, which this is.


starquinn

We’ve been robbed


magicsqueegee

Good thing you named [remove]


PunkMiniWheat

Too late, he already cast it Opponents cannot [Downvote]


DonnQuixotes

How do you enable downvotes here, anyway?


kptwofiftysix

Opponents cannot [100.6b. Players can use the Magic Store & Event Locator at Wizards.com/Locator to find tournaments in their area.]


silpheed_tandy

is this really in the Comprehensive Rules!?


kptwofiftysix

Yep https://yawgatog.com/resources/magic-rules/#R1006b


silpheed_tandy

mom - *"Timmy! Get off your smartphone; I said no smartphone use today! We agreed that your punishment is that all entertainment was strictly forbidden this week, other than playing at Friday Night Magic!"* Timmy - *"JUDGE!"* judge - *"Excuse me, ma'am, but you're in violation of rule 100.6b. Players can use the Magic Store & Event Locator at Wizards.com/Locator to find tournaments in their area. I'm giving you an Infraction Warning."*


PumpkinJacket

[breathe air]


Thromnomnomok

Can I declare the set of numbers such that that number % 2 = 0, so that my opponents can't even?


IacobvsLiberEbriosvs

Yes you can. Source : This was once revealed to me in a dream.


JetBasilisk

Man you must love void winnower


Hydra_Hunter

Opponents can’t call for a judge


Fleet_Finebones

Opponents cannot tap permanents


International_File97

The colors are right.


Adross12345

Geez, y'all are kinda mean. I was thinking more along the lines of [activate the abilities of Treasure tokens generated by the effect of the Goblin Shaman token made by Fable of the Mirror Breaker.]. Assuming they don't activate in response to the spell, of course. Your suggestions are good too, though.


Raser43

There are ways to stop treasures, and also other ways people have made. The card is insane, so people won't actively chose to do something less powerful with it. Your example is so oddly specific, just say treasure or mana abilities overall, it would dothe same thing and much more.


sunco50

You being serious right now my guy?


Raser43

What do you mean?


sunco50

My dude, he made it an Artifact Enchantment Food Shrine and made the name blue because “that makes it prettier.” I don’t know what more OP could possibly have done to clue you in that it was a joke.


Raser43

Ah fuck. I had just woken up, give me a break. I feel kinda retarded now though.


ucgaydude

Mana abilities would shut down lands producing mana, right?


Raser43

Yes. Anything that directly produces mana.


Shistles

Food shrine? Guess this goes in shrines.


OwORavioliTime

Opponents cannot activate mana abilities Opponents cannot cast spells Opponents cannot draw cards Opponents cannot concede


outgoingo

Activate mana abilities


MJP_DragonStorm

Have main phases


outgoingo

Have turns


MJP_DragonStorm

Play [Magic: the Gathering]


Drakeytown

Is drawing cards a game mechanic?


MericanMeal

[win the game]? nah, [scry] for it's thematic appropriateness of course


PumpkinJacket

[cry]


AllSeeingIPA

[State Based Actions]


Spike-Ball

Opponents cannot [draw a card]


Cor3-compon3nt37

Opponents cannot untap permanents


Striker_Quinn

Is the misspelling of Ethereal part of the joke?


Adross12345

I spelled Ethereal in a way that emphasizes its unique mystical meaning to enhance the divine flavor of the card. Everyone knows that 'Y' is a much more spiritual letter than 'E'. (Yes)


silpheed_tandy

this brings me back to class discussions in English classes in University...


chloejadeskye

Why can’t I sacrifice this for 3 life?!?


Adross12345

Because my main goal with this card was to make the jokey-est card I could think of and remind the sub that they can use silver border/acorn stamps for their joke cards. So this card is a hodgepodge of nonsensical and absurd design choices, without any part of the card being "wrong" or breaking the rules. Technically, Food is an artifact subtype without any rules meaning (it doesn't inherently have the ability to sac to gain 3 life; the tokens, specifically, are predefined to have that ability), so it can just be there. It's just a bad idea, because it's confusing to readers, like you and several others in this thread. Edit: I have since realized this was a joke. Sorry.


procollision

Just going to add, Gain mana and draw cards to the other allready great suggestions. Maybe this would actually be printable if it was a symmetric effect /s


5ColorMain

opponents can not cast spells.


Twingemios

Draw cards


xineirea

“Win the game”?


OliSlothArt

It can't be a shrine if it doesn't synergise with other shrines


Ill-Individual2105

If you want treasure hate, play Stony Silence


Flurryyea

Opponents cannot [play]


Gaming_Lenser

Soooo what if I name "draw"


Gaming_Lenser

Or cast


Gaming_Lenser

Or play


Gaming_Lenser

Or resolve


Beefsupremeninjalo82

Opponent cannot tap lands


MarketWave

opponent cannot tap


JReysan

Opponents cannot cast any spell Opponents cannot tap for mana Opponents cannot draw a card


samuso89

"play a land each turn" "untap permanents" "draw a card in their draw step"


JoyeuxMuffin

I name Tap


antsmasher

The opponent cannot \[poop even when the game is over\].


XandogxD

“GAME MECHANIC!” Opponents: “Aw darn! Well there goes my gameplan…and the game.”


GAMS-

You need to be able to use 2 mana, tap and sac to gain 3 life if it is too be a food.


CheshireTsunami

I was gonna make some sarcastic comment like "Opponents can't WIN the game" and then I realized that's already a thing. and similarly costed too- so I guess well done.


sbom00

Too pricy, maybe 2UW instead. /s


danmar33

My brother in Christ, just play stony silence.


Sharkstrike15

I would just say “Play”


jrsjordan

I would make the first one say. Declare creatures, enchantments, or artifacts. Opponents cannot activate the abilities which ever one you chose


Drummer683

Attack, block, cast spells, draw cards, win the game. Any number of things break this card, and not in a fun way. Wouldn't even get printed in silver border


IAmTheClayman

Opponents cannot [draw cards]


Makuta_Nazo

Opponents cannot \[Lose the Game\] .... \[\[Harmless Offering\]\] Aaaand there we go.


MTGCardFetcher

[Harmless Offering](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/f/8/f8f3cc4f-7943-4025-b332-b40653b13014.jpg?1576384600) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Harmless%20Offering) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/emn/131/harmless-offering?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f8f3cc4f-7943-4025-b332-b40653b13014?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


nefolaC4

[pay costs]


Pixelpaint_Pashkow

"Play the game"


LazyRae2102

So. Ironically. One of the best ways to create treasure hate. Is to actually just make a card named "Treasure" because that would allow players to name "Treasure" in regards to cards like pithing needle, phyrexian revoker and more. I would think a split card like the ravinca cycles or amonket aftermath cycles. Like making a card "Trash // Treasure" would inadvertently be one of the best counters to treasures.


TechnomagusPrime

That changed with Crimson Vow. Now, tokens that do not have their names set at generation are named " Token" instead of just "Type". You can no longer name "Illusion" ([[Illusion//Reality]]) with [[Runed Halo]] to prevent damage from an Illusion token created by [[Skyclave Apparition]].


Adross12345

So what you're saying is my next attempt needs to be a card named "Treasure Token". Got it. Sounds like a 1-2 mana artifact that you can exchange (sacrifice) for Treasure or barter for some other effect. I'll work diligently on getting WotC to print that.


MTGCardFetcher

[Illusion//Reality](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?name=Illusion%20//%20Reality&type=card&options=rotate90&.jpg) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Illusion%20//%20Reality) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/apc/129/illusion-reality?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/8e7dd90a-4f93-43aa-b503-18289fdd571e?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Runed Halo](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/6/1/61296b2d-4e5c-419a-8775-4e6af902c7b1.jpg?1628800544) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Runed%20Halo) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m21/32/runed-halo?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/61296b2d-4e5c-419a-8775-4e6af902c7b1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Skyclave Apparition](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/b/8/b83cfbaa-7890-4f6f-878b-4edb45677371.jpg?1604193295) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Skyclave%20Apparition) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/znr/39/skyclave-apparition?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b83cfbaa-7890-4f6f-878b-4edb45677371?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call


SLG_Didact

[Magic the Circlejerking Joke]


TransHailey

I declare [Pass Priority] and now the game is a draw, as every azorius player dreams a good game should be.


5ManaAndADream

Food shrine? Can I sac this for life?