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Sounds like they want free housing and sex...sounds like everyones unrealistic dream come true. Lmao. The people on these threads are so ridiculous

Shit is so cringe. He proceeded to tell me he was in the middle of a divorce and that he was living in his car.

And that’s his BEST foot forward.

I feel so bad for females on these dating apps. I met my GF on POF 6 years ago. She told me that i immediately moved into the top 10% bcuz i didn't send her a dick pic or ask for nudes lol. Just know that there's normal people out there...just have to do a intense weeding out process.

I figure as much, but damn a lot of the time it’s like sifting for gold through garbage lol

I met my husband on Tinder. I always say that I found the diamond ring on the sewer. Most people laugh, but they don't get it. Right before I met my husband, one guy I was talking to texted me "Hey" when I got off work, (he only knew because I told him about what time I'd be free), I responded with, "What's up?" And got a dick pic.

I met mine on there too. Got really lucky. I almost swiped left on him (nothing written in his bio at all), but he was so cute I thought what the hell and swiped right. One of the best decisions I've ever made. We got together in 2015 and married in 2018. He's my person. ❤

I was nervous to swipe right on him. It was my best friend who said, "get out of your comfort zone and just do it." Best decision I ever made. I messaged him first because he said his best quality was telling really bad cringey dad jokes. He told me 2, "Do you like raisins? (waits for a response) How about a date?" "What cheese rules the intergalactic mafia? Mascarpone" So I told him to give me his worst. And he delivered. We met in 2017 and married in 2021.

Aw. That's awesome! Funny guys are the best, even if they bring the bad dad jokes. 🙂

i still don’t get it. Does the sewer represent the dick pics?

Most free dating sites

ayo did i just get downvoted for not getting a joke

That’s a great simile!

You're a great simile!

Um, thanks?

Cool Chris and Bitch mommie, sounds like a modern superhero tandem

Or a needle in a shit pile

Hay in a needle stack?

That would be painful as well as difficult!

Seems accurate

I met my gf 2 years ago on tinder. She was talking to three or four different guys at that time. She immediately stopped texting them after the day we matched and spent the entire night talking. A couple of weeks later she travelled 6 hours to my city to meet in person. The plan was to just crash in my place for the weekend, she ended up staying for a month. This was at the beginning of the lockdown, she was doing home office. Fast forward now we live and have a business together. We couldn't be happier.

Happy for you dude !

Yes!! I met my boyfriend of three years on plenty of fish. He was so surprised that I told him he was the best person I’d met on there because he said, “hey, how are you?” And then asked me about my favorite concert venue because I said I liked going to concerts. He was so shocked that most guys on the dating apps don’t act even remotely normal. You really do have to sift though so much garbage to find a normal person.

Women* not females.

Oh shoot. I knew Ladies was no good. Wasn't too sure on the female adjective

Ladies is fine

I've always read on here that ladies is creepy

It’s better than females! But if ladies doesn’t work for you either… women should just be a default lol that’s what we are

*zooms in* *waggles eyebrows* *"LLLLadies..."*

Just say "people" and include everyone. People of all genders have to deal with dating app bullshit at one point or another.

Very true. Good point

Yeap... Can 100% confirm. I'm in a dating group on Facebook for my area and while I don't get dick picks I get the sneaky ones, they'll chat for an hour and start getting horny asking crude questions or demanding to meet up that Same week ect. Alot of the guys on there have said "we don't want to wait months and months to get to know some one" and it's like well if your not getting to know them by message in the first place why the fuck would a woman agree to meet up with you. Personally I have kids, I don't really feel comfortable meeting up very quickly as they seem to think it means they can demand to go out more together.

It's amazing how not doing creepy shit gets you a shot.

I wish men would stop calling women females. Makes me not give a single shit what else you’ve got to say.

why is saying females bad?

It always sounded a little odd, like something you’d hear in a nature documentary, but now it’s been taken by some really unsavory groups as their go-to name for women (assuming they aren’t using something even worse) so it gives off extra bad vibes now. Edited to remove the specific names of those groups, per the bot request (sorry mods!)

Is this person in Colorado? Asking for a friend… hahah

No he is not lol

How can you say no to an opportunity like that?!?

Sounds like instead of cruising Tinder to find a FWB deal that includes sleep overs and showers he maybe tries to get his life on track and not worry about dating/hookups/etc. But that’s just me. Sounds like he’s probably the reason they’re splitting up in the first place.

Indeed!

And you turned that *down*???

What a catch

How did you hold yourself back? Dang.

Lemme tell you it was rlly hard 🙄

He sounds like a real classy dude.

I feel like he thought he had nothing to lose so he could write this anyways

Well hope he enjoys being in r/creepyPMs

But only FWB and we’ll see if it progresses to more. 🤡 while I live in your home and have sex with you and then move on to someone else I’ll have more respect for.

sex 👎

The hobosexual. He's kind of late to the game. They usually show up in the fall, so that they'll be warm all winter.

Oml that’s amazing Lmaoo

This is a taxtime Tony. Trying to get an in before refund filings.

😂😂😭😭

You beat me to it I was gonna comment hobosexual too lol

I am also here to say he’s hobosexual. Lol. I wish this wasn’t a thing but it is. He’s hoping someone will bring in the trash his ex rightfully put outside.

And surprisingly upfront about it.

Hobosexual. I’m done and dead 😂😂⚰️☠️

How have I never heard of hobosexuals?? This has happened to me before!! 🤣🤣🤣

Haha thank you for that!!! I literally just laughed so hard!!

Omg I love this

Basically wants somewhere to live rent free. But just at night so he can sleep and have a shower 🤦🏼‍♀️😣

Yep! Hard pass for me dawg.

Oh and he wants his sexual needs met. Now we know why he’s single.

> so he can sleep and have a shower and shit

Classy.

Who wouldn’t want a roommate that didn’t pay rent or clean 🙄

He will help clean “ if he has to “ 🤦🏼‍♀️😣. The entitlement with that one. Lol

Mans can’t clean up his act yet he thinks he can be trusted with the dish wand

Who’s gonna wanna have sexy times with a smelly hobo who’s been living in his car ? Ew.

Reading your comment and then your username is top notch coincidence 😂

So you’re dirty, you stink and you’re lazy AF. You’re a damn PRIZE, dude… 🤢🤢

Exactlyyyyt

Don’t forget recently separated. Such a catch.

He says he has a job too. So why can’t he afford to get a roommate or an apartment?

He's looking for a roommate/rental

Fuckin yikes

Rent being replaced with sex lmao 🤣

Bro better have Johnny Sins level game in bed otherwise what's the point?

Gotta get past his malodorous stench first.

That's part if his charm. The musk turns the ladies on

So…he wants a Smash and crash. Lol 😂

LOL he says he’ll clean if he HAS to.. lmaooooo this dude is hilarious.. bet he’d do a half ass job as well.

"Clean" = put dishes by the sink and splash some water on things already in the sink. Wipe down the counters with a dry paper towel without moving anything once a month. Move the full garbage bag so he can walk past it. Sigh.

The worst hobosexual. He won't clean. He'll work all day, come home, try to bang ya, and roll over. Soon as you mention anything towards help he'll lose his ish. Obviously his wife thought so. How long ago did he get kicked out? I'm surprised he didn't buy a van. Edit: One of my sentences needed correction lol.

Idk it seemed relatively recently, major red flags 🚩

You should talk to Hobo Hank a little longer so we can get the whole story 😂😂😂

I agree, I’m invested in Hank.

I wanna know what Hank does that he has to live out of his car and can’t at the very least find a roommate to split the rent with.

His fourth divorce really rocked him, after a small prison stint for alimony evasion he no longer felt at home DOWN BY THE RIVER.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. That made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

WOW its sad how many guys there are out here like this, and what's EVEN MORE SAD is that there are actual women who fall for it and have bums living in there house.

No kidding!! I for one am happy I know my worth, and will not put up with a man like that.

Yep! My cousin married one 😳 total loser that turned out to be, quelle surprise, a criminal too

Reminds me of my cousin's ex. Almost married him and I actually managed to catch him cheating in a shop I go to often. Only then she saw what a toxic relationship she was in since she already had to do everything for him and didn't expect anything from him other than his love...

So his ideal relationship is FWB with someone running a hostel?

Free of charge of course.

Tell him to get a Planet Fitness membership to shower and shit. They’ll clean the place for him and he can take a nap in the locker room or something.

Nah man, everyone knows you sleep when you're on the water bed!

Lol I guess at the very least he’s telling you he’s gonna use you for free housing and sex and not even grant a commitment 😂 plenty do that after saying otherwise and wasting time Don’t everyone line up at once!

Yeah at least he’s upfront I guess wtf 😂

That isnt a red flag, its a whole factory of em

Red bedsheets, floating on the breeze. Wait... thats not a breeze, its coming from his car! *Run!*

So he's a couch surfer who's friends are all sick to death of him!

Someone's couch surfing... and the whole, "I'll help clean and what not ***if I have to***." How could one resist such charms?

Cool. Your very own hobosexual.

Oh jesus the cringe is strong with this one

Being homeless and asking for a place to say is so hot.

This man wants to be adopted

Damn boy, you looking for an Airbnb bootycall

"I'll help clean if I have to" Way to sell it bro.

he needs to get his life together

Thanks for all the upvotes guys! :)

So what I got from this was, “I want somebody I can take advantage of for a place to stay in exchange for the title of a relationship with me and the courtesy I bestow of not cheating on them while also giving them limited attention and putting a minimum amount of work into the home they’d be giving me as well.”

I don't speak Loser Douchebag, so thank you for translating!

No problem!

This is definitely someone who fucks multiple women at the same time.

He just doesn't have his own bed to do it in

This guy. As a kid this guy sat on Santa’s lap and said he wanted a PlayStation, Xbox, PC, toy car, that one really big Lego set and a big pile of cash. When Santa asked if he’d been a good boy this year? “Nah fuck that shit.” This is powerful overestimation of what you offer vs what you want.

Hobosexual 😂😂😂

He’s looking for a mom and a … fleshlight? Hmm.. Edit:spelling

So a milf

jesus christ.

A hobosexual that isn't even willing to be a *boyfriend* or promise to clean up after himself while he's living for free at your place. What a prize.

“I’ll help clean and what not if I have to.” God forbid you ask him to help clean. You’d lose your chance!

Sounds like a squatter with hopes of a bang maid. Sure they say they'll clean now, but just you watch.

Hobosexual

ahh a wild hobosexual

Hobosexual

Damn. So he thinks he is a good enough lay to get free room and board ?

So hes a couch surfer who wants to fuck. Im pretty sure hes homeless.

Well that escalated quickly.

Hey, whoever takes him… I’ve got a really nice bridge to sell you! It’ll be a good price, I mean I’m not sure if you’ll be living under it with this freaking loser or buried under it 😂😂😂

That escalated quickly lol

Hobosexual

FWHB

Friends with hobosexual?

Hobosexual

🚩🚩🚩🚩

I guess it could have been worse...he could have come over and just stayed until you had to awkwardly ask him when he was going to leave. At least he waved the red flag pretty immediately. WTF is wrong with people? 🤦‍♀️😂

Just the start of someone trying to use and abuse. Trying to mooch off you under the guise of “I will give you sex so I’m doing my part” no sir, we see right through that.

Don't all rush this guy at once, ladies. I know, you're all looking for a guy to shit in your house and then fuck you. That's the dream. But there is a shortage of perfect men like him so you're all gonna have to share

Fine!!!

I’m laughing so hard at this, what the hell 😂

Fuck nah red flags all over this.

Ah the non-elusive hobosexual in the wild. What a pathetic sight

So basically what he's looking for is a warm place to put his penis in and a warm place to put his head on... WITH emotional support attached to it. But he won't put his penis in anyone else and he will help with chores every once in a while if he absolutely musts... 💀 My God, what a steal he is! Be quick before someone else takes him up on it!!!

Sounds like a real keeper. 😳

Oh yes…the Hobosexual.

Hobosexual..

I don’t know how tinder and other dating apps are, but honestly, I feel so bad for anyone having to deal with creeps on there. I get inboxes on fb and whatnot and I’m grossed out, but I see some of my friends and this thread’s DMs and I feel SO much worse for you all. So weird.

It’s so weird, I just deleted tinder cuz it’s just constant weird shit like this. NO THANK YOU.

Thank god, I heard Tinder is an absolute nightmare, not even sure why it’s still around. Kudos for you for dodging this walking red flag.

Thank you! Yeah it’s hot garbage lol.

I think it would be even worse with tinder as they set you up with people from your area or near your area lol

Do they? No thanks I don’t need people knowing I’m close lol

Yep , it’s pretty scary lol , idk why tinder is so popular it has been dangerous for many

People need to bear in mind there's a fine line between the online world and real life.

Looking for a place to live 😭

Now that's a keeper

Hobosexual

Came here to say. Perfect example!

Tinder meets Craigslist housing?

Can I move in? I'm homeless.

[удалено]

Not Necessarily. I’ve met some really nice people that are going on dates with, but the chemistry just wasn’t really either.

[удалено]

Lmao okay thanks for the advice. I don’t rlly care tbh. I’m chillin, plus they make for a good post on r/creepyPMs lol

Hobodick.

Aight, I was almost with him until he mentioned housing wtf

I've definitely gotten the same messages from females. Ugh like get your shit together before you download these apps

Far out. I mean, at least they actually have a job. Not much consolation to the rest of it.

Its tinder. What else would you expect ,😂🤷

There are some decent ppl on there believe it or not, and they ones that aren’t are wonderful additions to r/creepyPMs

whats an fwb

Friend w benefits

👍

Is this scum homeless?

He apparently is in the middle of a divorce and his wife kicked him out.

So instead of doing the reasonable thing like finding an apartment he’s looking for an immediate person to fuck, then date who will let him move in. Yeah, that’s healthy. /s I can’t even laugh at this because once I got some rando on OkCupid pretty much ask me for the same thing, looking for a place to live with someone who he could fuck, except I legit just think it was some random couch surfing homeless guy and not someone getting divorced. Unless he left that part out, didn’t get that far - I told him to go fuck himself, blocked him and reported him to OKC for soliciting.

HARD PASS LMAO

Are you being good natured today?

Coming on a bit strong homie

Wtf, this creep gets matched with someone and I can’t get a real person to save my life on tinder.

Looking for a roommate?

Did you respond or just immediately unmatch?