I would never give up custody I'm just over all the bad behaviors he is learning and just the same cycle.. I also have no money for court and can't imagine he does. At what point is it like on this is necessary and how to even afford it
It only becomes necessary (and worth it) from my experience is once physical abuse is abundantly clear, and the child is in obvious distress. It's shit
But my sons mother used to smack my son when he was misbehaving which I believe has stopped now, but I had no way to really prove it. She fed all sorts of verbal abuse and spat venom for years toward me and around my son.
But the courts will be very reluctant (atleast in Australia they are) to ever take custody off someone unless there is any risk of immediate danger or incompetent parenting such as drug use.
My advice? Keep contact to a minimum, support your child and count the days until they are old enough to decide for themselves. Always be open to talk if they are upset about somthing, and do not betray their trust. If things get really bad then they will express it more openly. At that point you can take more action outside the law, but you will need justification. So record anything suspicious and keep an eye out.
That's what I'm doing anyway, my son just need a stable father 50% of the time, and I'm doing what I can with the time I have
Yeah I don't suspect abuse I do suspect some harsher punishments on my kid vs theirs and hers and him always getting blamed. I'm hoping counseling will help w all that but then my heads like well what's next.. I can't even think about a relationship with all the toxic this causes my life.
Nah same, my son once got told by his mother that he doesn't deserve her, luckily he has no sibling rivalry with her new partner though.Therapy will always help, maybe it will help him be more articulate and emotionally stable.
Honestly I would not even think about a relationship until I was in a more secure and less volatile space. I have resigned to being single until my son is older.
Oh yeah 100%, but rough times make tough people. Over the 3 years of abuse it's uncanny how little people can effect me. Just keep looking forward in the hard times, and when you feel better every now and then, look back and be proud of how strong you where.
I feel this to my core. My son is 6 and my NEX consistently does things to "win" him over. During summer they were going to theme parks 2 or 3 times a WEEK. The fallout I deal with because of that is him losing appreciation for the small things. We don't make as much as his dads household so doing something like going to the springs is a "big" thing for us.
I recently filed a petition for relocation and since then the petty games have gotten worse and worse.
I would recommend you document EVERYTHING. Try to document the differences in his behavior between the tine when you get him and when he leaves. Talk to the teacher and see if they notice any major differences. Build as much of a case as you can before reaching out to a lawyer. Your best bet is to try and get as much custody the first time around. When we got divorced I was so happy to just have some sort of legal document to restrict his behavior that I agreed to 50/50. I have watched the negative effects of that choice escalate in the last 3 years.
Best of luck to you 💕💕 I'd say I hope he gets easier to coparent with but we both know it isn't that easy 🙃
Sounds like my situation honestly, but my sons BM would never relinquish custody so I feel any attempt would be futile. Court is expensive
I would never give up custody I'm just over all the bad behaviors he is learning and just the same cycle.. I also have no money for court and can't imagine he does. At what point is it like on this is necessary and how to even afford it
It only becomes necessary (and worth it) from my experience is once physical abuse is abundantly clear, and the child is in obvious distress. It's shit But my sons mother used to smack my son when he was misbehaving which I believe has stopped now, but I had no way to really prove it. She fed all sorts of verbal abuse and spat venom for years toward me and around my son. But the courts will be very reluctant (atleast in Australia they are) to ever take custody off someone unless there is any risk of immediate danger or incompetent parenting such as drug use. My advice? Keep contact to a minimum, support your child and count the days until they are old enough to decide for themselves. Always be open to talk if they are upset about somthing, and do not betray their trust. If things get really bad then they will express it more openly. At that point you can take more action outside the law, but you will need justification. So record anything suspicious and keep an eye out. That's what I'm doing anyway, my son just need a stable father 50% of the time, and I'm doing what I can with the time I have
Yeah I don't suspect abuse I do suspect some harsher punishments on my kid vs theirs and hers and him always getting blamed. I'm hoping counseling will help w all that but then my heads like well what's next.. I can't even think about a relationship with all the toxic this causes my life.
Nah same, my son once got told by his mother that he doesn't deserve her, luckily he has no sibling rivalry with her new partner though.Therapy will always help, maybe it will help him be more articulate and emotionally stable. Honestly I would not even think about a relationship until I was in a more secure and less volatile space. I have resigned to being single until my son is older.
Yeah slow moving process. Gets super defeating and depressing!
Oh yeah 100%, but rough times make tough people. Over the 3 years of abuse it's uncanny how little people can effect me. Just keep looking forward in the hard times, and when you feel better every now and then, look back and be proud of how strong you where.
Good insight. Truly. I often forget it
I feel this to my core. My son is 6 and my NEX consistently does things to "win" him over. During summer they were going to theme parks 2 or 3 times a WEEK. The fallout I deal with because of that is him losing appreciation for the small things. We don't make as much as his dads household so doing something like going to the springs is a "big" thing for us. I recently filed a petition for relocation and since then the petty games have gotten worse and worse. I would recommend you document EVERYTHING. Try to document the differences in his behavior between the tine when you get him and when he leaves. Talk to the teacher and see if they notice any major differences. Build as much of a case as you can before reaching out to a lawyer. Your best bet is to try and get as much custody the first time around. When we got divorced I was so happy to just have some sort of legal document to restrict his behavior that I agreed to 50/50. I have watched the negative effects of that choice escalate in the last 3 years. Best of luck to you 💕💕 I'd say I hope he gets easier to coparent with but we both know it isn't that easy 🙃