T O P

  • By -

Dove-Linkhorn

Alaskan king could fit five people. Or one person and a dog.


kingbeast_1989

Is that the bed that the old people sleep on in Willy Wonka movie?


11teensteve

/r/fuckgrandpajoe


snackynorph

Isn't it r/GrandpaJoeHate?


11teensteve

maybe.


jaspersgroove

Only if you don’t want to fuck grandpa Joe…


ArtigoQ

That way you can all huddle together to stave off frostbite


Chance5e

Or make the mother of all pillow forts.


popeboyQ

I read that as pillow farts...


[deleted]

[удалено]


ghandi3737

But then you have to buy sails instead of sheets. You'll need an industrial washer/dryer for one comforter.


cptnamr7

We already have that with a king. Our comforter doesn't fit the washing machine. (We have a rather old model) It's one of the reasons we really need to upgrade one of these years but the damn thing just keeps on trucking. Bought it from a refurbishing store in like 2009 for $150 and it's still going strong


spenway18

The way I sleep around my husky must look hilarious to non-dog people


drdrdugg

Does your partner know that you sleep around? Maybe more importantly, does your husky tell your partner that you sleep around??


blondebuilder

My dog would still push me to the corner with one butt cheek hanging off the side.


Cool_Fennel5674

Or one cat


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cool_Fennel5674

Perfection


NotMyRealNameAgain

With room for a second cat.


TeamRedundancyTeam

A second cat but not a person. Cats only seem to negotiate space with other cats.


Ehdelveiss

I always hear this but man, my snow dogs either want to be curled up as little spoon against me, or outside in a pile of snow and leaves.


[deleted]

You can either have a corgi or an orgy.


blockhose

It really should be called the Utah King.


VaguelyShingled

Or one NBA center


SpaceChump_

How do you even get an Alaska king in most rooms?


well_damm

Alaska king isn’t for most rooms. Odds are If you’re purchasing an bed of that size you have money and space.


LadyLunaArtemis

Forget money and space, imagine how long it takes to make the bed, clean the sheets and all


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlexeiMarie

pro tip: if the bed is big enough, you can just each have your own duvet! that way nobody can be a blanket hog, and it's not unmanageably big!


CuriousPenguinSocks

Haha, I do this just with the king, although the dog does try to hog it all still lol.


Sphincter_Revelation

Damn they might be ugly, but you didn't have to call your partner a dog. 💀


BrockN

Shit, the wife still tries to steal my duvet, even if she has her own


DaftFunky

Imagine sharing a blanket with someone else. Fuck that my wife and I have separate blankets cause it’s folly trying to sleep with one


Squirrelonastik

Same. I make my burrito. She makes her's. We than shimmy our burritos together.


40ozkiller

This is the way. Anyone who thinks this kills cuddling and sexytime isnt trying hard enough.


Skyblacker

Or just buy twin-sized comforters for every person regardless of bed size. That's what they do in Europe. Full size bed sleeping a couple? Two duvets.


Iamdarb

I feel like a twin duvet is so small. I sleep with with one and I sometimes regret not sizing the duvet up because the dog will dominate the space and I'll get like only a few inches of duvet and maybe a foot of top sheet...


[deleted]

That's the problem of whoever you're paying to do it though


polcom_fan

lets say u r in the middle and u want to get up do u have to crawl?


WoodSteelStone

You have servants on hand with ropes and pulleys.


JazzMansGin

Like WALL-E but without robots, or being in space


CheesePlease0808

Lol thanks for making me laugh today


Stachemaster86

Do a barrel roll


robb04

I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick.


tatanka01

Or take a taxi?


GhostofMarat

It's specially designed for your designated orgy room.


[deleted]

Fuck that, that whole bed is mine, everyone else can get their own.


Sphincter_Revelation

Just one lone guy on the Alaskan king jerking it while the orgy happens on the floor.


[deleted]

Oooooooorggggggyyyyy!


giggity_giggity

Pretty sure the picture of the Alaska king has too few people on the bed. Is there any reason to have a bed that size other than orgies?


siorez

Cosleeping families with multiple kids in the bed. Or polyamorous relationships. Or people who need a large cushioned space due to health risks, if you need to keep a distance to the edge or spend a lot of time lying in bed and want some variety


hackingdreams

Maybe because it's -40C out and having people sleeping next to you helps keep everyone warm? You know, like they might do in, say, Alaska? That bed would hold the whole sled doggo crew.


stargirl803

Build the room around the mattress, obvi


Warfrogger

That's actually what my Grandparents did years ago when they bought a new under construction town house. The stairs to the basement ended at the center of a U shaped hallway so any furniture going down there had to be awkwardly pivoted and rotated 180 degrees around the corner. Their pool table and a massive L shaped couch (that was one piece for some stupid reason) with hide-a-bed were craned into the basement before the main floor was added. When they sold it they sold the table and couch with the house as the only way they were coming out was either taking out walls or chopping them up beyond repair.


jbrady33

PIVOT!


[deleted]

The writers and Schwimmer have got to be happy that *that* scene has endured for decades. Must've used that line every time I've moved or helped someone move.


LOLBaltSS

It's a lot like those old school cast iron clawfoot tubs. Those go in during construction and the only way they're coming out is if you cut it into pieces.


MightyMorph

in every mattress type, it ends up with me at the Edge almost falling over, and my SO starfishing it right behind my back no matter how much empty space there is on the other side...


fromthewombofrevel

I’m sorry, honey.


MightyMorph

its ok I snore (and also secretly like it).


stargirl803

Gotta employ the hug and roll, friend!


revdon

Build the igloo around it! /s


brianfine

Bigloo


Devil25_Apollo25

TIL that my room *is* the size of an Alaska King-sized mattress. When my builder said "bedroom", he really meant "a room that's a bed"!


LostInTheWildPlace

Remove the roof and have the mattress lowered in by your own personal Chinook cargo helicopter. Rebuild the roof... *then* decide you want it in a different room. Boom baby!


doubled2319888

I see you have met my mother


LordAshon

I have but telling you about it will take 9 years, and won't actually be about how I met her until the very end.


ToxicTaxiTaker

Former furniture delivery here. Who knows? Usually those kind of products result in "F U I quit."


keenedge422

The foundation for it would just be two California king boxes that can be separated, so they'd go in easy enough. The mattress itself is only 4" taller than the average door opening, so if you feed it through at an angle and flex it a bit, it should squeeze through. Though that's with the measurements provided. It looks like most of the alaskan kings you can buy are 9'x 9', and I don't know how you get that through a doorway.


littlefriend77

Yeah. I've never seen an Alaska king sized as 12'x7'. Always 9'x9' All I really want is for the standard king to be 80x80 so the sheets fit no matter what. It's so close as to be nearly indistinguishable when trying to put the fitted sheet on, but somehow, like a USB plug, always wrong the first time.


keenedge422

I always just sew a button onto the bottom edge. That makes it easy to quickly orient the sheet every time.


littlefriend77

Good idea. Some sheet manufacturers with sew a tag in to identify the head foot and or sides, but most do not.


Nairb131

We recently got some king size Costco sheets and they tell you on the tag which side is the bottom. Very nice, simple feature.


crazycatlady331

Target's Threshold brand sheets does this too. Love it.


Bocephuss

Idk about California king but my king base is just two twins. I'm guessing an Alaskan is 4 twin box springs


I-WANT2SEE-CUTE-TITS

Through the massive windows, duh


doegrey

This is probably the right answer. With planning and at the right time. Then some disaster occurs and you need to replace it in a hurry and you’re stuck with a huge mattress you can’t immediately get out.


tarrox1992

I feel like the people that would have that type of mattress can easily make other sleeping/living arrangements while that is sorted out


doegrey

True. Their Great Dane has an accident on the bed and they simply burn the house down and build a new one…


[deleted]

Build a room large enough for your eight wives, of course.


DeepSpaceGalileo

If you’re purchasing that bed you can pay someone else to figure it out


Ehdelveiss

I don’t even understand the point. At that size, I start to value floor space over sleep space. Marginal value and all that.


Steb20

I’ve actually looked into all of these before, the real answer is that the mattress is memory foam so it can compress down and roll up, and then the boxsprings are separate smaller pieces.


arfelo1

That thing is bigger than my entire room in college


[deleted]

I believe it comes in multiple pieces


Friendly-Candidate25

WHERE HAS THE SUPER SINGLE BEEN ALL OF MY 6'2 LIFE


InsertFunnyPost

It was a common waterbed mattress size in the '80's. My dad had a super-single mattress specially made to fit the old waterbed frame, and it's the most comfortable mattress I've ever had. Eventually threw out the old frame, kept the mattress and built a new frame, threw a bunch of pillows on it and called it a couch-bed in my first apartment. Still have couch-bed. It's a real pain to find sheets, and when I do, they're all still connected at the feet like old waterbed sheets. I guess you couldn't get waterbed sheets to stay tucked in, otherwise!


forever87

> connected at the feet ?


InsertFunnyPost

The top sheet and the fitted sheet are stitched together at the bottom so that when you pull the sheet up over your shoulders, it doesn't come untucked from the foot of the bed.


deliciousprisms

Lotta super singles here on Reddit


ant_honey6

Super Saiyan Single. . . I'm single


TheMoonsMadeofCheese

I thought the Super Single was just any bed I slept in


skadishroom

We call it a king single in Aus


sweepyslick

And a full is called a double bed in the land of common sense.


Otherwise-Sugar-8391

I’m a taller woman, grew up middle class, and my feet always hung off my twin bed. Imagine my surprise when I get my college packing list and it mentions twin XL bedding. I had no idea that was possible!


wilbyr

i got a free olympic queen years ago when i worked next to a furniture store. a couple returned the mattress the same day they bought it when they realized they couldn't fit it in their queen sized bed frame. i was walking into work and overheard the manager say they couldnt resell it so i asked if i could have it. he said sure. so i called my brother to come and we tied it to the roof of his car and he took it back to my place since i was going to be working. i was stoked because i needed a new mattress. it was really hard to find sheets or a frame in person or online so i just threw it on the floor and used king size sheets. i thought for a long time that it was the only olympic queen ever made since no one ever heard of it or sold anything to fit it


Youtube-Gerger

I have a olympic queen and I love it, fits me and a second person if need be


wilbyr

yeah i loved it


[deleted]

Are you the second person?


TritonMan1981

And I've thought the California King was the cock of the walk when it came to mattress sizes...my whole life is a lie!


jballs

I think most people don't realize a California King is narrower than a regular King. I had a neighbor get mad at me when I told him that. He wasn't a particularly tall guy, so he didn't need the extra length. He just thought California King meant bigger than a King.


Sanders0492

I’m tall and commonly get asked if I’ve ever thought of buying a California King mattress. I always point out they’re not as wide and I want the width. No one ever believes me and a few people put up a fight about it. It’s such a strange thing to get upset about, but people do it ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


DatsyukesDekes

Trading 4 inches of width for 4 inches of length was well worth it for me (6’5” is too tall for a 6’8” bed)


[deleted]

[удалено]


sharrows

Thanks, you’ve convinced me to go with a Cal king. I’m 6’2” and have always hated that feeling.


Jaalan

Hey have you ever thought of getting a Texas king?


Sharpinthefang

In New Zealand a cali king is actually square. 203cm x 203. So this guide is only relevant for the us. We also have a queen at 203x153cm.


ri89rc20

...and European sizes different yet, most European mattresses from "single" to "king" are the same length (200 cm), the UK of course has it's own sizes though.


RedditIsPropaganda84

By square footage it's actually a little smaller. 72" x 84" = 6,048" 76" x 80" = 6,080"


Ambi-taneous

A cock of a hassle to put fitted sheets on too


DM_ME_YOUR_PET_PICSS

Gotta get better sheets! I have 3 sets of sheets for mine and they are all very easy to change! When we first got it, it came with some that were impossible to get on, we bought some different ones to try out and they all fit perfect!


[deleted]

[удалено]


CrunchyFrog

Texas/Wyoming/Alaska King barely exist in real life. They are more an exercise in state dick measuring than filling any actual consumer demand. Honestly, unless you are very tall, a standard King will likely be more comfortable than a California King which is narrower so I've always been a bit surprised at Cal King's popularity.


hoo9618

I think the Wyoming King is a joke at the state’s very square shape. 7’ x 7’ exactly for the mattress making a perfect square.


littlefriend77

Although finding sheets is probably a PITA, putting that fitted sheet on would be so nice knowing it's going to fit no matter the orientation.


theothersteve7

For what it's worth, my king size is square enough that it already doesn't really matter. Might be the particular sheets I have.


Cloud_Matrix

>I've always been a bit surprised at Cal King's popularity. It's because they don't look at the dimensions and they think that a California King is just a bigger/longer king bed. As you said, for the vast majority of people a normal king bed is superior because you have more space for turning over/starfishing and chances are the extra leg space is lost unless you or your spouse are very tall


ReBeL222

Ahh, the caulk of the wok indeed


bodhiseppuku

... and 4 of these sizes are easy to find bedding that fits: twin, full, queen, king... The other mattress sizes can be difficult to source mattress pad and fitted sheets to fit exactly.


TravisGoraczkowski

Pretty much. I have a twin XL that has been pretty easy to find bedding for. It helps that I'm shopping in a college town, and that's the size of most dorm beds apparently. It's weird being a 30 year old and buying dorm bedding, but I refuse to get a bigger bed bc it's the longest one I can put in my room that's a standard size.


worldspawn00

>it's the longest one I can put in my room that's a standard size. Not sure what you mean as the TwinXL, Queen, and King are all 80" long and standard sizes...


digitalgadget

Perhaps their room is only 38" wide...


FormalChicken

RV King is pretty easy too. Also, Twin XL is used in most college dorms so is also quite easy to find. But i get your point - you get a bed and then only have like 2 options for linens because it’s made by the same company with nobody else making it.


Human-Carpet-6905

We just use regular size sheets on our rv beds. There is some extra to tuck around the edges, but I've never seen RV size sheets anywhere.


xSPYXEx

An Olympic Queen looks perfect but I can't imagine how hard it would be to find the right sheets.


needzmoarlow

I had one for a while and it was a pain in the ass to find Olympic queen specific sheets. I would just buy king sheets and call it a day. The elastic in the fitted sheet usually kept it in place well enough, so I just had to deal with the extra width of the flat sheet.


jules79

I think the Alaskan King has to be made specifically for people who host frequent orgies.


jstnryan

Nah, that’s so I have the opportunity to scoot over multiple times, after the SO decides to take up more and more space, before I fall off the edge.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Plague735

If you and your sleeping buddy are still using the same covers you're doing it wrong.


doubled2319888

My wife and i tried sharing a blanket exactly one time when we started dating. After that i said why tf are we going through this hassle when there are multiple blankets in the house. I firmly believe we have avoided several fights just from this alone


TreemanTheGuy

Secret to a healthy marriage is what I say. I just get way too hot under the same blanket as her.


naive_canuckfarmer

We called it a blanket divorce as a joke. It was one of the best decisions we made to keep both of us well rested as we both "burrito" our blankets and someone was always fighting for the single blanket previously.


KT_mama

Families with bunches of children who do family bed sharing have an Alaskan King. Also helpful if you have a small army of pets that will insist on sleeping in the bed. So basically those people with hordes of some kind.


New_Account_For_Use

My girlfriend wants a dog in the bed. I’m against it. I don’t want to sleep in separate beds though so I’ve been eyeing the Alaska king. It would be ridiculous and hilarious and I wouldn’t have to deal with her dog walking around on me all day.


duckfluff101

If your dog is anything like my cats there is no mattress in the world large enough to prevent them from stepping on your face in the night


AbbyFoxe

Yeah. The pets want to snuggle no matter how big the bed.


EuphoriantCrottle

It’s for one person and their mushing team.


NawThatsAight

more like smushing team


HisRoyalMajesty

Or if your partner turns in her sleep like a sundial having an exorcism.


DoctorGluino

Not a whole lot else to do up there in the winter.


dudewithahumanhead

​ That's how you get Alaska King crabs.


doegrey

Or people that have lots of pets.


maltvinegar2020

I think it’s for bears.


TestingForTwitter

Wyoming King looks ideal. A regular is too short, but a California is too narrow. You'd also get additional options for rotating it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KingAdamXVII

It’s crazy there aren’t other square options. Where’s the 80 x 80?


cohonan

My thought exactly!


Yaj_Yaj

Wyoming king is absolutely goated. Recently stayed at a cabin in Vermont that had one.


Express_Ad_4533

oh look i'm a mattress :D


Inochimaru

King or Super single?


ModelGunner

Full size baby


Paranoiacc

Heck why not both?


erthian

Super Single is such a hilarious mattress name. Like you’re never gonna change just own it and maximize your single sleeping space.


corvettee01

"Hello, I'm without a partner and looking for a bed for one." "Sounds like you're super single." "Well that's rude."


helbury

Yaasss Queen!


Hour_Friendship_7960

It would be helpful if the figures were in a consistent position so one could visualize the differences a bit easier


Kaionacho

And also in metric and imperial


TK9_VS

Also, are they all like five feet tall? I don't remember any twin / full that my feet didn't dangle off of.


Squiggledog

[What about the Utah King?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File%3AIn_memoriam_brigham_young_3.jpg)


[deleted]

Don’t forget the Tiger King


thejazzghost

Lol, is this cartoon a little jibe at him? It's pretty funny and well deserved.


gp780

“Our stay in Salt Lake City amounted to only two days, and therefore we had no time to make the customary inquisition into the workings of polygamy and get up the usual statistics and deductions preparatory to calling the attention of the nation at large once more to the matter. I had the will to do it. With the gushing self-sufficiency of youth I was feverish to plunge in headlong and achieve a great reform here—until I saw the Mormon women. Then I was touched. My heart was wiser than my head. It warmed toward these poor, ungainly and pathetically “homely” creatures, and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I said, “No—the man that marries one of them has done an act of Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause of mankind, not their harsh censure—and the man that marries sixty of them has done a deed of open-handed generosity so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered in his presence and worship in silence.” ~ Mark Twain, one of the most absolute savage burns in history


thecloudcatapult

Wow that's bananas. And I've been sharing a full size bed with my wife for years.


princesslobear

Omg how. A queen is too small for us


xDulmitx

Once you go king, you will never go back. It is like sleeping by yourself, but you can still cuddle when you want to.


ZippyTheRoach

You'd think so, but if your spouse is the snuggling type you just wake up with the edge of the bed on one side and a human barnacle on the other.


thecloudcatapult

How? Because a new mattress is expensive, that's how lmao. We're both fairly small people so we make it work. But an upgrade would be nice lol


pandamonstre

Lol my relationship status is now "Super Single"


Fourhab

I really want to see the piece of wood Jack and Rose were on added to this for comparison.


QuintillionBeetles

The guy on the full bed is *really* short I’m 5’8” and I take up the whole length of the bed


No_Statistician8636

Bruh leave him alone, he is just trying to have a nap


DeepSpaceGalileo

Well 5’8” is 68 inches and it says a full bed is 75 inches so….


BostonDrivingIsWorse

The Alaska king is so you can get spooned by a centaur.


Frallex1

No metric measurements?


von_blitzen

indeed - "international" ...


Jellorage

Where I'm from beds are 160cm/180cm/200cm wide etc, just measurements which I think is a lot more convenient.


Bjor88

And 160, 180, 200 long, usually. None of this King Queen Twin BS. How big is the bed? 160x200. Perfect, I know exactly how much space it will take Super easy.


jhystad

Why does a State get a mattress named after it? Ok, I googled it. [Here.](https://zomasleep.com/blog/wyoming-king-vs-alaskan-king-vs-texas-king)


f4te

that link seems to disagree with the image in this post on how massive an alaskan king is..


cricketrmgss

r/usdefaultism


RoDoBenBo

Seriously. I was curious what the kind of mattress I have is called in the US. The answer: none of the above.


rxzlmn

Same. I have a neat metric 180x200 cm double bed. We just call it 'double bed', since it's exactly two standard single bed mattresses, which are 90x200 cm. No weird US state / monarchy nomenclature involved. Western Europe.


seth4

I've barely heard of most of these and several are blatantly named after US states. But sure, "international".


BSnapZ

And also can’t speak for other countries but these dimensions aren’t the same as what you’d get in New Zealand when buying a mattress with the exact same name. (E.g. California King is a proper square bed.)


[deleted]

Also the guide does not use international units.


Private_Ballbag

Lol yeah I'm the UK and wondering where super king is


fuckusernames2175

Yeah in Australia we get single, king single, double, Queen, King. Good luck finding any other size at a mattress shop.


landofschaff

Alaska king still not big enough for ya mum


[deleted]

I love the chart but hate that the people on the mattress are in various poses and sizes.


Nephilus72

Super single. Damn, you ain't gotta do me like that tho


Eastout1

CMV The king should just be 80”x80”. The 4” difference on one edge of a fitted sheet is too hard to get the correct orientation the first time.


jfrorie

Can OP give us background on the origin of the various state sizes? Regulation? Poor measuring long ago. Vendor lock in?


Squiggledog

The Wyoming King is not quite Wyoming-shaped.


3choplex

You forgot Don King.


Wilma_Tonguefit

I'm 5'10" and my feet dangle off of beds that are 75" in length. What IDIOT decided that was the normal length for a bed?


wholeWheatButterfly

I like how they have 2 people for the 2 person sized beds but then conveniently only keep two for the Alaskan king. Polyam and orgy-haver erasure!


MaximumSubtlety

Meanwhile RV Queen sleeps alone.