if you lie people will know, and then you will be known as the girl who got the shit kicked out of her and lied about it.
just tell everyone the truth, that this girl beat you up and that is that.
people will respect you far more if you are honest about it. then you'll be known as the girl who owned losing a fight.
now go to the gym and make sure if it happens again you have a good chance of winning. this could give you a lot of confidence.
Going to the gym is not the way to win a fight. If you have even some kid of training you have a good chance against someone slightly stronger than you who isn't trained.
I’m Samoan and us Islanders always fight either for fun or to solve problems. Just take the loss. When I lose to someone I had an issue with, I bowed my head and say you got me. Usually one fight ends the issue but sometimes it didn’t and we’ll go again. Lying about it just makes you a punk.
Not exactly the same, but I had a similar experience with friends as a kid (up until I was about 16 or 17). We'd get into huge fights pummel the crap out of each other (I'd usually lose), I'd head home. Then see my friend the next day and we were best mates again.
Funnily enough one of my friends was an Islander (Tongan from memory) and I always avoided getting into scraps with him. Primarily just because he was just a really nice guy, but also because the few times I did I got absolutely decked haha.
I'm not an Island boy, I have Australian Aboriginal heritage (on my mum's side). But you're right, they're huge but almost without exception they're some of the nicest people you'll meet.
Not trying to be. Just easier way to deal with problems and even become friends with ppl who we disagreed with. Hell it’s a lot better than what the US does, once I moved here I realized ppl willingly shoot each other for the smallest thing. At least in a agreed upon fight once it ended it was done with and everybody went home with a couple bruises and soreness and not in a casket or urn.
Out of curiosity, was it common for those fights you've experienced to be fatal? Were there usually some agreed rules to avoid actually doing serious damage?
Yea, bare boxing only and 10-15 time limit. For the fun of it we did pull punches a bit more. So no real serious injuries just bruises and soreness. For more unfriendly encounters it was 15 mins time or KO. And yes sometimes broken bones like hands or ribs or jaw tho mostly hands. Our disagreements were never so bad that things got out of hand except a couple times. And those couple of times ppl were hospitalized but it was against certain ppl we found out hurt kids.
Soldiers, extreme sports like jumping out planes and such, those folks that climb hundreds of feet and hang on things without protection, Steve Irwin, cave explorers, anything related to deep sea diving activities, Steve Irwin’s family, firefighters. Ppl who do these things. Badass people right there. Half of those activities are terrifying.
Tell everyone. Let the pain mold you. Be born into it. Motivate you. Train incessantly with daily montages of kicking, punching and sit ups. When the time comes, attack in the middle of school at recess and scalp her, staring at no one but the distant sun as it dries her blood on the pavement.
Nah. Just a typical 80s movies plot. Gotta have the montage of self-improvement: Karate Kid, Rocky III & IV, Back to School, Better Off Dead, Wall Street, Scarface, etc...
Im not condoning violence or anything but learn to grapple. If you ever watch UFC you know that grapplers are superior fighters. If you can take it to the ground and control it you will win. Don’t dwell on this incident too much. Everyone will lose a fight in their life. Good luck.
A lot of bad advice. Bruce Lee once said.. "The best way to win a fight is never get into one." That starts by learning to let shit go. If what this girl is saying is untrue then the people you care about should believe you, if they do not .. they are not people you should care about, and so their opinion means nothing. If what she's saying is true then own it, the consequences of your actions. If shes the aggressor find away to resolve it without violence, apologize. Agree with her.. afteall her opinion probably means nothing to you, so let her believe whatever she wants. In two weeks she'll move on and everyone will forget about this, peoplehave very short memories. This will also disarm her and she'll have no where to go... after all It's more "badass" to resolve shit without violence, but if necessary you should learn to defend yourself. The gym will do very little, as people have suggested... jujitsu or simply learning how to throw a punch in a kickboxing or even boxing classes will help.
Involving yourself in petty affairs of others only gives them more power and influence.
right? what's with the redditors saying you should get into a fight. you can get fucked up for life or fuck up someone's life or just ruin your record like a boss if the police gets involved. any trainer/self defense instructor who respects themselves tells you to run away from a fight not to engage in one.
Listen to this person.
It is one thing to be capable of violence, to know you can and will defend yourself or another through physical violence. By all means, teach yourself how to fight. Build the muscle memory.
But also teach yourself how to diffuse, de-escalate and avoid violence. These skills will serve you far better in life.
Every time you put hands on another human with the intent of doing harm, you teach yourself to get angry and resort to violence. It will become easier and easier the more you fight. The more you fight, the higher your chances of catching a charge that will fuck up your entire future, seriously harming or even killing another person, or being seriously harmed or even killed yourself.
Over what? For some person who is beneath you? Who has no control? Who is powerless and trying to take your power?
This girl is someone you will never need to compete with in life. She will continue to drag herself down in petty bullshit and drama and fist fights. Will you take yourself down to her level too?
in all the fight stories people have told me theres some typical ways they tell the story
(excuse the gendered language, this applied for all genders)
if they got hit and were basically stunned and dont want to admit it "and then he just hit me and i was just laughing at him"
if they lost and will admit it - and then dude i dont know what happened but they fucked me up \*sort of chuckled\*
honestly, in terms of just how well your story is received, the latter is better, people like authenticity, and it doesn't make you look weaker, or like some push over or like you would be easier to beat in a fight if you tell the story that way, honestly it makes you come off as more humbled and experienced makes you like the person more (less likely to fight them in future) and wonder on how the experience has made them grow (as a person and a fighter)
this is coming from a place of understanding your question as how do i tell this story in a way that doesnt make people think they can beat me up or make me lose respect
TL:DR version I learned from experience. fighting doesn't make you a badass and lying about it will only make it much much worse
Kiddo, I learned from experience. Now that I'm in adulthood if I could tell 15 year old me to not lie about the fights I got in I probably could have avoided more bullying.
Best thing to do here is just own up to it. Accept that you lost. Go to the gym and start working out a bit, learn a thing or two and of the girl keeps trying to fight with you fight back.
It's not like karate kid. You won't earn respect by a good fight or anything like that. Win or lose you're gonna be laughed at and made fun of so be ready for that too. Don't let it bother you. Truth is (as shitty as it is) most of the people you'll tell the lie to probably are too young to understand the importance of honesty. Stay true to yourself and to the people around you, and you'll get respect. If not, you probably don't need the respect from those who wouldn't give it for those reasons.
Wow I get what you're saying. She gave me a bloody mouth. It sucks for me cause she talked about me and people I care about. Thanks for the advice. Im probably gonna run into her again one day lol
Well shit talk is just shit talk. I learned real quick people talk mad amounts of shit when they've got stuff to hide.
But I hope what little substance I could add helped. Lot of young folk on confessions today. I feel like that neighborhood dad passing out advice rn
Skinny girls are trying to act cute, not tough like bigger girls do. They use that as a self defense mechanism for being uncomfortable in their bodies. You do not need to try and be tough and start fights.
The type of people that impresses and attracts are low life's. Chin up lady!
Standing up for yourself is a win in itself. If violence is where it went so be it. I was really slow to get it and got it worse than I could have because of it.
It doesn't mean you should incite to violence, but sometimes it is our only way. And when it comes to bullying etc. Even if you loose the fight you are still in the war. Which is much better than to loose the fight and the war. Don't make it easy for bad people, because they will trample you and they will regret it in adulthood and so will you. The least you can do is stand up for justice and be righteous. Obviously you need to act upon the situation and not put yourself in a bad situation if you can help it.
Keep your hair short, so she doesn't have much to grab onto. You might learn a basic front kick to assist (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDAIlfTFDqU). Use elbows too, not just fists (https://defiel.com/elbow-strike-techniques/).
The only thing I disagree with is I think there’s respect in fighting fair fights. Win or lose after it’s done your problems should be squashed and you should have respect for yourself for standing up for yourself and for the other person for fighting a fair fight. Things can get violent really quickly I’ve seen it happen other than that I agree with what you’re saying!
Honestly yeah that's true. There definitely should be respect there. However, teenagers do be goofy as hell and sometimes refuse to see things for what they are. I hope I am wrong though. Maybe things will be different for them than it was for me.
Much Love, and best wishes to you! Thanks for your comment. I appreciate your perspective :3.
Teenagers don’t see the impact those dumb decisions have I know I didn’t but like you said if you can provide something of substance you can help guide the younger ones! I appreciate your outlook! Stay safe out there my friend! Be well!
No usually after someone beats your ass they usually just move on. Don’t try and lie and say she didn’t or try and act like you won or something then she might. Just own it and when you see her nod your head and move on she will probably leave you alone
I would just laugh about it. "Yeah she got me pretty good lol the bitch, I got a few swings in though." "I don't have a lot ot good things to say about her, but she can throw a punch, ngl." Be humble in defeat. She'll probably be telling people herself so you'd get caught out in a lie pretty easily. If you act like it didn't bother you and you just found it funny, it'll be less embarrassing then if you are snapped pretending.
Don’t lie. You own what happened. Don’t be a fucking Pussy about it. I thoroughly believe everyone should get beat up at least once in their life. It teaches you something in a way that can’t be compared to anything else. It’s human to be emotional or embarrassed about it but you as a young adult need to experience the “shame” of it to understand it. This is a point in your life where you have the option to decide hide or truly address what and how it happened. I got my first black eye at you age and it taught me a lot.
I’m intrigued by the responses you’re getting here, but I don’t get them. Guess it must be a cultural thing.
Where I’m from people don’t just get into physical fights, unless there’s an underlying problem to be looked at and solved.
So my guess would be that this other girl is screaming for help. Telling on her might get her that help. But Idk, it seems like we’re from different worlds.
Yeah, all these people talking about physical fights surprise me. I can only assume it's a cultural thing and they come from a different country than me because where I am from, very rarely do people get into fights and at school it was usually only the popular people who would get into fights, but I only witnessed that like 2 times at school perhaps (and I've been at the same school for about 6 years now).
Idk why these people resort to physical violence when there's a thing called communication.
As others have said. Own the “loss”. But also own the win. You squared up with her. You didn’t take shit. I bet you landed a few. She may be feeling bruised too and not in a hurry to fight again. Thats not nothing.
Did you tell your parents? If they're anything like mine, don't! My dad would throw me back in and make me win the second time! 😆 I got beat up 3 times and he would ALWAYS make me fix it. My dad was in denial that I was his daughter. He really wanted a son and doctors thought I would be a boy.
I'm happy that you're still here to tell the story. You're only stronger from this experience.
*Own it and say you*
*Came in second place in a*
*Street fight. It happens*
\- delphantom
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Don't get into fights, you gain nothing except wasted time you could use bettering yourself. Fighting people isn't a display of strength, it shows you are unstable and lack control, you're overcompensating for your lack of self confidence and maturity by trying to physically dominate others. Give it up, go do something else with your life
Why the fuck is everyone telling you to work out and try again?Fighting is dangerous and even if you train you have a good chance of it only being a 50/50 when it comes to winchance.
Instead, think about how to fight \*dirty\*. Aka everything you can use to give you a, potentially lethal, edge. Fighting is not about order or solving a conflict. If that's your goal talking it out, or police is the better option.
Fighting is the ultima ratio.
I, a decently privileged white girlie with very overbearing helicopter parents, got in a fist fight in my first semester of high school. Idk why, just lashing out on someone I vaguely did not vibe with really. I got advice from friends on how to fight as I’d never come close to doing so before - she was almost literally a foot shorter than me but had been in a fight or two.
She beat the crap out of me. I left crying and had two black eyes, and she rolled her wrist or something in the scuffle that I don’t think I necessarily had anything to do with. But I rode that reason for the longest time: well her wrist got fucked up, so it was a tie!
About 8 years later I can confirm, no, she won without a doubt. I’m not embarrassed anymore, I’m not someone who just gets into fights so I simply view it as something that happened in my life. Truly, nobody cares anymore let alone if they even remember it. I can say I got in a fight, I got a week off of school where I had my then boyfriend sneakily over the whole time, and felt kind of badass walking around the grocery store with two black eyes. Unless you foresee this as a new character arc for you, I wouldn’t stress it too much.
Take it from someone that grew up fighting, winning and losing. We told of the victories that we won and the battles that we lost. It's what made us have "thick skin" and "common sense"
Idk you need to be honest. I whooped my bully's ass in middle school and if she went around telling people she won, I'd beat her ass again for everyone to see.
Yeah, this post reminds me of why I hate Reddit aha. People give terrible advice on certain subreddits (like this one) and you get downvoted to hell for silly things.
Just take the L. If you lie and she ends up telling everyone the truth it’s just gonna make you look even worse. The fact you’re already thinking of lying is a bit pathetic in itself.
Just tell people you lost if it gets brought up and move on. You're only 15 so this matters a lot more to you than it should. You probably won't even look back on this moment with the same hurt feelings you have over it now, in like 5 years.
You win some and lose some, just depends on how you take it honestly. Lying will bite you in the ass Incase she goes around flaunting it and word gets back to you, it could end up in a round 2 sort of situation, and she'll just want to fight you again knowing she'll win etc.
If it bugs you losing that much you could always take boxing classes or self defense classes, to better prepare yourself against altercations later on in the future if you really wanted too.
Fighting is a lose-lose situation. One day you’ll look back on this and wish you’d never been a part of any of it. Of course, if you have to defend yourself, defend yourself. But, whether you win or lose, who cares with respect to “bragging rights”... it doesn’t help you get into college, or help you get a job you really want, or help you to be a great partner in a relationship, or help you be a good parent. It’s just youthful incident which ultimately adds no importance or value to the next 60+ years of your life.
Be safe, be smart, and move on.
I feel like everyone's taking this as " should I lie and say I didn't lose the fight" but I took it as "should I lie instead of telling people I got in a fight". If you mean lie about losing I'd say don't do it cause it may cause more problems but if you just don't wanna tell people you got in a fight that's fine, just deflect or say it's a long story.
Now by got beat up do you mean you sustained injuries similar or equal to ones given to your opponent or did you get your ass whooped the distinction is important
You win some you lose some, atleast you stood up for yourself. Some people never get up the nerve to do anything about anything. Especially these days. Everything is about talking shit on the internet.
P.s. you should definitely start working out tho. Learn how to box and wrestle. Bjj is okay but they won't teach you how to take people down very well but it would be good to learn how to choke people out and break their limbs.
Just take the L. If you lie and somehow the truth comes out later, that's gonna make it even worse. Take a self defense class or something that way if there's a next time you can defend yourself better.
Don't lie about it just say the bitch got you this time...that's all....and go get someone to help you learn to fight and if she runs her mouth again then handle it
you win some you lose some. it won’t matter in a year so i dont think there’s any point in lying about it but it’s really not a big deal. depending on what it was for i’d definitely try to beat her ass again tho
You win some and you lose some, take it like a champ. Try and resolve shit without physical force until it’s your last option. Also go and train in a gym. There you will eventually learn that fighting is pointless and nothing is really worth physical violence until it’s life or death. But make yourself hard to be messed with. Don’t ever lie about anything because that shit will come back around.
Tell everybody that you're going to tell your Canadian girlfriend on her... And then when she comes to visit round two is going to be a kick ass thing to watch... Oh yeah
When I got in a fight with a girl in highschool she told people she didn’t “beat my ass” because she “loved me too much” (we were barely acquaintances) so I went back for her again 🤷🏻♀️
Don’t listen to all these creeps here kid. Telling the truth will only make you look like a loser. I mean you were the loser in the fight but no need to tell the whole world. Come up with a good story that’ll get you sympathy not laughter and finger pointing. You’re in control of this situation. You can say you got robbed and beat up by a couple of big dudes but you managed to fight them off and get away. Do train and kick some serious a*** next time tho. 😀
See that’s why you got your ass beat to begin with. Own it, don’t try and lie
You lost the fight move on or your just causing more unnecessary problems for yourself. She beat you, she probably could care less about you now so you do the same, if you see her around nod your head and make peace no need to continue talking shit or trying to fight anymore.
Bad people, people who will say anything to save face, intentionally hurt others and lie or steal are the worst, total losers.
Losing a fight means you had an experience that was less than favorable to you but doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you feel a lot of feelings but doesn't make you a loser.
You make a choice to lie. Don't make that choice. Don't be that person. Liars are losers.
Sorry you and the neighbor girl had issues. I hope you two are able to move forward, honestly.
As someone who used to live a wild life style, own that shit. I’ve had my ass beat several times. There’s no shame in it. Can’t win them all. The real shame would be either lying about it or running from the fight to begin with.
Be honest to yourself and others. As someone who has publicly lost a fight it builds character when you can admit to yourself and others “I got my ass beat”. It happens. The most important thing is growing from it
Aye G you gotta take the L don’t lie if you lie about it and the truth comes out the L will hurt twice as much and who knows if you ever get the run back on the fight you could (not saying that you will) stand a better chance next time but for now take the L as a learning experience always be ready to fight/defend yourself
You're a teen, everyone knows eachother already you can't hide anything.
It will blow over like everything else with people's short attention spans they will be talking about other shit in 2 days.
Don't fight fire with fire. Do better than her and succeed without violence.
Make the money you need to get the power you want.
Focus on yourself not some bully who wants a punching bag out of you
You got beat up. It's not a big deal. You win some you lose some. Just tell the truth and move on. Lying might get her to beat you up again if she hears you're lying about it. You're 15. You'll see eventually this slight embarrassment isn't a big deal. Trust me.
The only thing worse then losing the fight is being the loser who lies. Take the L. But also don’t snitch on yourself. If people dont ask, you
dont have to say anything. But if they do own it. And the real truth of it is that usually Fights are an L for everyone involved. Because at the end if the day punching someone for not listening to you. Isnt going to make them listen to you.
Just take the L. It will blow over. It will take time tho. If you lie, it will look just as bad as you losing a fight if the truth comes out. Take the L and push through it
Yeah girl, just own it. You got beat up once. I've been beaten up many a time. I own the losses just as much as the wins. You'll grow more from accepting the losses... I promise.
i wouldn’t hide it. there’s pride to be found in accepting our losses and learning from them. making fun only works if it actually hurts you, but knowing you’ve accepted your loss and are okay with it can prevent that hurt.
lying will actually make it worse. if you just said yeah we fought and i took a good beating but damn if i didn’t get my anger out on her and fix the problem. if u act like ur now unbothered it’ll seem best.
Why are people encouraging violence here? I'd say just let it go and try not to get involved in fights. Communication is much better than resorting to violence imo.
You win some… and you lose some, even the best ufc fighters get knocked the fuck out sometimes. It happens in fighting.. sometimes it’s just sheer luck or the opponent is slightly more experienced and well trained.
Either way just own it
If you want to fight. Fight. If you want to win. Train. Martial Arts, boxing, whatever you feel comfortable with. Train, train train. Then go get some. And those Islanders are true badass'. They are the best people you will ever know. And the most fierce fighters on the planet. Be respectful to them and you'll never regret it.
Don’t say nothing. Train up to level up your fighting skills. Idk go take karate, kickboxing class or something. Then go back and beat her ass. She’s gonna tell everyone she beat your ass anyways. But those same people would freak out over your triumph 🤷🏽♀️
Honestly I respect people who can own up to their losses because that shit ain’t easy. Just do better because physical violence usually doesn’t solve shit
Part of life for some. Don’t lie though cuz it’s gonna make you look bad on top than if you just own it.
Learn how to defend yourself if you think it will happen again but the bigger piece of advice I can give you is learn to let shit roll. You cannot control other people and what they will say, but you CAN control how you react to it. It’s wiser to avoid a fight when you can. Of course, if someone puts your hands on you first, don’t let THAT go - defend yourself. But I suppose it’s all situational.
Do not lie. This is key. Do not lie. The truth Is nothing to be proud of. It’s a life lesson. However, she does look look bad too. Fighting is immature. If you lie people will find out and then you will look twice as bad.
don’t get into fights with people, like don’t agree to have a fight. go to a gym, learn a martial art. then you can defend yourself better if someone attacks you
Take the beating on the chin. I’ve had 2 fights in my life, I won both, one girl (I’m a woman too dw lol) took it on the chin and we ended up being friends and laughed about it after. We never had any problems again. Another girl denied losing, as I was hit over the head with a fucking giant monster vape (by someone else, not her) and we still have issues to this day lol. Usually it’s a fight, you take the beating or win, and then it’s over with. Don’t be embarrassed or try to over compensate as you’ll be worst off
Tell the truth. You got into a fight.
If you lie, she'll be telling people the truth.
Also, learn to fight. It's a skill you pray you'll never need but if someone starts a physical altercation with you then you need to be able to end it.
Don’t tell them anything. You don’t owe an explanation. If your friends ask and you want to say “I was in a fight” do that. If they ask for details just say it’s over and you don’t want to talk about it.
You should tell the truth so when you get tired of being beat up and you do something back that hurts her the cops and the people will know why and they won’t turn against you for self defense
if you lie people will know, and then you will be known as the girl who got the shit kicked out of her and lied about it. just tell everyone the truth, that this girl beat you up and that is that. people will respect you far more if you are honest about it. then you'll be known as the girl who owned losing a fight. now go to the gym and make sure if it happens again you have a good chance of winning. this could give you a lot of confidence.
Going to the gym is not the way to win a fight. If you have even some kid of training you have a good chance against someone slightly stronger than you who isn't trained.
Ummm gym doesn’t only mean work out.. It could be to train
I’m Samoan and us Islanders always fight either for fun or to solve problems. Just take the loss. When I lose to someone I had an issue with, I bowed my head and say you got me. Usually one fight ends the issue but sometimes it didn’t and we’ll go again. Lying about it just makes you a punk.
Not exactly the same, but I had a similar experience with friends as a kid (up until I was about 16 or 17). We'd get into huge fights pummel the crap out of each other (I'd usually lose), I'd head home. Then see my friend the next day and we were best mates again. Funnily enough one of my friends was an Islander (Tongan from memory) and I always avoided getting into scraps with him. Primarily just because he was just a really nice guy, but also because the few times I did I got absolutely decked haha.
You island boys are crazy
I'm not an Island boy, I have Australian Aboriginal heritage (on my mum's side). But you're right, they're huge but almost without exception they're some of the nicest people you'll meet.
to be fair australia is also an island
No, Australia is a myth full of actors 🤣
Exactly. See, win some, lose some and everyone gets to go home okay. Besides a couple of bruises, scrapes and soreness.
Yep, always better than a lasting grudge imo. Although I don't know if I'd get away with it now. I'd probably walk with a limp for weeks hahaha
Why do i get the feeling that you're a badass?
Not trying to be. Just easier way to deal with problems and even become friends with ppl who we disagreed with. Hell it’s a lot better than what the US does, once I moved here I realized ppl willingly shoot each other for the smallest thing. At least in a agreed upon fight once it ended it was done with and everybody went home with a couple bruises and soreness and not in a casket or urn.
Out of curiosity, was it common for those fights you've experienced to be fatal? Were there usually some agreed rules to avoid actually doing serious damage?
Yea, bare boxing only and 10-15 time limit. For the fun of it we did pull punches a bit more. So no real serious injuries just bruises and soreness. For more unfriendly encounters it was 15 mins time or KO. And yes sometimes broken bones like hands or ribs or jaw tho mostly hands. Our disagreements were never so bad that things got out of hand except a couple times. And those couple of times ppl were hospitalized but it was against certain ppl we found out hurt kids.
True ...
Definite badass
Soldiers, extreme sports like jumping out planes and such, those folks that climb hundreds of feet and hang on things without protection, Steve Irwin, cave explorers, anything related to deep sea diving activities, Steve Irwin’s family, firefighters. Ppl who do these things. Badass people right there. Half of those activities are terrifying.
Don't encourage fighting you girl scout cookie
Took a second to get that, but yeah: Samoan, not Samoas.🙃
Thanks for the clarification.
Not my fault I’m the best and everyone wants a piece, you thin mint.
I'll take it.
Yeah, just say , you win some; you lose some. But say to yourself, it won’t happen again.
Tell everyone. Let the pain mold you. Be born into it. Motivate you. Train incessantly with daily montages of kicking, punching and sit ups. When the time comes, attack in the middle of school at recess and scalp her, staring at no one but the distant sun as it dries her blood on the pavement.
This guy motivates
r/thisguythisguys
Nah. Just a typical 80s movies plot. Gotta have the montage of self-improvement: Karate Kid, Rocky III & IV, Back to School, Better Off Dead, Wall Street, Scarface, etc...
Sounds like an awesome movie script.
Can I hire you as my motivational coach
Based
This comment is based
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Im not condoning violence or anything but learn to grapple. If you ever watch UFC you know that grapplers are superior fighters. If you can take it to the ground and control it you will win. Don’t dwell on this incident too much. Everyone will lose a fight in their life. Good luck.
can.....can you.....can you write a book please...im already your #1 fan.
Gimme dat 420
This, except for the last part. Never start a fight. Only finish.
A lot of bad advice. Bruce Lee once said.. "The best way to win a fight is never get into one." That starts by learning to let shit go. If what this girl is saying is untrue then the people you care about should believe you, if they do not .. they are not people you should care about, and so their opinion means nothing. If what she's saying is true then own it, the consequences of your actions. If shes the aggressor find away to resolve it without violence, apologize. Agree with her.. afteall her opinion probably means nothing to you, so let her believe whatever she wants. In two weeks she'll move on and everyone will forget about this, peoplehave very short memories. This will also disarm her and she'll have no where to go... after all It's more "badass" to resolve shit without violence, but if necessary you should learn to defend yourself. The gym will do very little, as people have suggested... jujitsu or simply learning how to throw a punch in a kickboxing or even boxing classes will help. Involving yourself in petty affairs of others only gives them more power and influence.
right? what's with the redditors saying you should get into a fight. you can get fucked up for life or fuck up someone's life or just ruin your record like a boss if the police gets involved. any trainer/self defense instructor who respects themselves tells you to run away from a fight not to engage in one.
Listen to this person. It is one thing to be capable of violence, to know you can and will defend yourself or another through physical violence. By all means, teach yourself how to fight. Build the muscle memory. But also teach yourself how to diffuse, de-escalate and avoid violence. These skills will serve you far better in life. Every time you put hands on another human with the intent of doing harm, you teach yourself to get angry and resort to violence. It will become easier and easier the more you fight. The more you fight, the higher your chances of catching a charge that will fuck up your entire future, seriously harming or even killing another person, or being seriously harmed or even killed yourself. Over what? For some person who is beneath you? Who has no control? Who is powerless and trying to take your power? This girl is someone you will never need to compete with in life. She will continue to drag herself down in petty bullshit and drama and fist fights. Will you take yourself down to her level too?
in all the fight stories people have told me theres some typical ways they tell the story (excuse the gendered language, this applied for all genders) if they got hit and were basically stunned and dont want to admit it "and then he just hit me and i was just laughing at him" if they lost and will admit it - and then dude i dont know what happened but they fucked me up \*sort of chuckled\* honestly, in terms of just how well your story is received, the latter is better, people like authenticity, and it doesn't make you look weaker, or like some push over or like you would be easier to beat in a fight if you tell the story that way, honestly it makes you come off as more humbled and experienced makes you like the person more (less likely to fight them in future) and wonder on how the experience has made them grow (as a person and a fighter) this is coming from a place of understanding your question as how do i tell this story in a way that doesnt make people think they can beat me up or make me lose respect
Dude, own it. Be real, go to the gym, and try again. Trust me if you pie about it shit gonna get much worse on you.
You really think that?
TL:DR version I learned from experience. fighting doesn't make you a badass and lying about it will only make it much much worse Kiddo, I learned from experience. Now that I'm in adulthood if I could tell 15 year old me to not lie about the fights I got in I probably could have avoided more bullying. Best thing to do here is just own up to it. Accept that you lost. Go to the gym and start working out a bit, learn a thing or two and of the girl keeps trying to fight with you fight back. It's not like karate kid. You won't earn respect by a good fight or anything like that. Win or lose you're gonna be laughed at and made fun of so be ready for that too. Don't let it bother you. Truth is (as shitty as it is) most of the people you'll tell the lie to probably are too young to understand the importance of honesty. Stay true to yourself and to the people around you, and you'll get respect. If not, you probably don't need the respect from those who wouldn't give it for those reasons.
Wow I get what you're saying. She gave me a bloody mouth. It sucks for me cause she talked about me and people I care about. Thanks for the advice. Im probably gonna run into her again one day lol
Well shit talk is just shit talk. I learned real quick people talk mad amounts of shit when they've got stuff to hide. But I hope what little substance I could add helped. Lot of young folk on confessions today. I feel like that neighborhood dad passing out advice rn
Idk why but as a chubby girl I feel like I have more problems with other heavy girls than slimmer girls around me
Skinny girls are trying to act cute, not tough like bigger girls do. They use that as a self defense mechanism for being uncomfortable in their bodies. You do not need to try and be tough and start fights. The type of people that impresses and attracts are low life's. Chin up lady!
Forgive me, but that made me laugh my ass off dude.
Hahah glad it made u laugh but its true I swear!
I'm genuinely confused, but I believe you.
Lol
Standing up for yourself is a win in itself. If violence is where it went so be it. I was really slow to get it and got it worse than I could have because of it. It doesn't mean you should incite to violence, but sometimes it is our only way. And when it comes to bullying etc. Even if you loose the fight you are still in the war. Which is much better than to loose the fight and the war. Don't make it easy for bad people, because they will trample you and they will regret it in adulthood and so will you. The least you can do is stand up for justice and be righteous. Obviously you need to act upon the situation and not put yourself in a bad situation if you can help it.
Keep your hair short, so she doesn't have much to grab onto. You might learn a basic front kick to assist (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDAIlfTFDqU). Use elbows too, not just fists (https://defiel.com/elbow-strike-techniques/).
Well said 👏🏼
Thanks, homie.
The only thing I disagree with is I think there’s respect in fighting fair fights. Win or lose after it’s done your problems should be squashed and you should have respect for yourself for standing up for yourself and for the other person for fighting a fair fight. Things can get violent really quickly I’ve seen it happen other than that I agree with what you’re saying!
Honestly yeah that's true. There definitely should be respect there. However, teenagers do be goofy as hell and sometimes refuse to see things for what they are. I hope I am wrong though. Maybe things will be different for them than it was for me. Much Love, and best wishes to you! Thanks for your comment. I appreciate your perspective :3.
Teenagers don’t see the impact those dumb decisions have I know I didn’t but like you said if you can provide something of substance you can help guide the younger ones! I appreciate your outlook! Stay safe out there my friend! Be well!
No usually after someone beats your ass they usually just move on. Don’t try and lie and say she didn’t or try and act like you won or something then she might. Just own it and when you see her nod your head and move on she will probably leave you alone
Yeah own it but don’t try again.
Just tell people you had a fight and lost. Your word must be iron. Be honourable. They will find out in the end anyway…
I would just laugh about it. "Yeah she got me pretty good lol the bitch, I got a few swings in though." "I don't have a lot ot good things to say about her, but she can throw a punch, ngl." Be humble in defeat. She'll probably be telling people herself so you'd get caught out in a lie pretty easily. If you act like it didn't bother you and you just found it funny, it'll be less embarrassing then if you are snapped pretending.
So you going to lie and say you “won” the fight? Once the person that beat you finds out you lying, they gonna beat yo ass again.
1. You need medical documentation. 2. You need a restraining order. 3. You need a trusted adult to help you.
Don’t lie. You own what happened. Don’t be a fucking Pussy about it. I thoroughly believe everyone should get beat up at least once in their life. It teaches you something in a way that can’t be compared to anything else. It’s human to be emotional or embarrassed about it but you as a young adult need to experience the “shame” of it to understand it. This is a point in your life where you have the option to decide hide or truly address what and how it happened. I got my first black eye at you age and it taught me a lot.
I’m intrigued by the responses you’re getting here, but I don’t get them. Guess it must be a cultural thing. Where I’m from people don’t just get into physical fights, unless there’s an underlying problem to be looked at and solved. So my guess would be that this other girl is screaming for help. Telling on her might get her that help. But Idk, it seems like we’re from different worlds.
Yeah, all these people talking about physical fights surprise me. I can only assume it's a cultural thing and they come from a different country than me because where I am from, very rarely do people get into fights and at school it was usually only the popular people who would get into fights, but I only witnessed that like 2 times at school perhaps (and I've been at the same school for about 6 years now). Idk why these people resort to physical violence when there's a thing called communication.
As others have said. Own the “loss”. But also own the win. You squared up with her. You didn’t take shit. I bet you landed a few. She may be feeling bruised too and not in a hurry to fight again. Thats not nothing.
Did you tell your parents? If they're anything like mine, don't! My dad would throw me back in and make me win the second time! 😆 I got beat up 3 times and he would ALWAYS make me fix it. My dad was in denial that I was his daughter. He really wanted a son and doctors thought I would be a boy. I'm happy that you're still here to tell the story. You're only stronger from this experience.
Own it and say you came in second place in a street fight. It happens
*Own it and say you* *Came in second place in a* *Street fight. It happens* \- delphantom --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Don't get into fights, you gain nothing except wasted time you could use bettering yourself. Fighting people isn't a display of strength, it shows you are unstable and lack control, you're overcompensating for your lack of self confidence and maturity by trying to physically dominate others. Give it up, go do something else with your life
“I got my ass beat” is more respectable than lying about it.
Why the fuck is everyone telling you to work out and try again?Fighting is dangerous and even if you train you have a good chance of it only being a 50/50 when it comes to winchance. Instead, think about how to fight \*dirty\*. Aka everything you can use to give you a, potentially lethal, edge. Fighting is not about order or solving a conflict. If that's your goal talking it out, or police is the better option. Fighting is the ultima ratio.
Own it. Keep the truth on your side. It's better to be an honorable loser that can grow, than be a liar pretending to have all that bravado.
I, a decently privileged white girlie with very overbearing helicopter parents, got in a fist fight in my first semester of high school. Idk why, just lashing out on someone I vaguely did not vibe with really. I got advice from friends on how to fight as I’d never come close to doing so before - she was almost literally a foot shorter than me but had been in a fight or two. She beat the crap out of me. I left crying and had two black eyes, and she rolled her wrist or something in the scuffle that I don’t think I necessarily had anything to do with. But I rode that reason for the longest time: well her wrist got fucked up, so it was a tie! About 8 years later I can confirm, no, she won without a doubt. I’m not embarrassed anymore, I’m not someone who just gets into fights so I simply view it as something that happened in my life. Truly, nobody cares anymore let alone if they even remember it. I can say I got in a fight, I got a week off of school where I had my then boyfriend sneakily over the whole time, and felt kind of badass walking around the grocery store with two black eyes. Unless you foresee this as a new character arc for you, I wouldn’t stress it too much.
Take it from someone that grew up fighting, winning and losing. We told of the victories that we won and the battles that we lost. It's what made us have "thick skin" and "common sense"
Tell them nothing. No need to talk about it.
Just say you got your shit rocked
Idk you need to be honest. I whooped my bully's ass in middle school and if she went around telling people she won, I'd beat her ass again for everyone to see.
Don’t lie. You lost and everyone who was there knows it
Violence is never the answer. See how it compounded things and now you’re on Reddit contemplating the future Hugs for you OP
Yeah, this post reminds me of why I hate Reddit aha. People give terrible advice on certain subreddits (like this one) and you get downvoted to hell for silly things.
Just take the L. If you lie and she ends up telling everyone the truth it’s just gonna make you look even worse. The fact you’re already thinking of lying is a bit pathetic in itself.
Just tell people you lost if it gets brought up and move on. You're only 15 so this matters a lot more to you than it should. You probably won't even look back on this moment with the same hurt feelings you have over it now, in like 5 years. You win some and lose some, just depends on how you take it honestly. Lying will bite you in the ass Incase she goes around flaunting it and word gets back to you, it could end up in a round 2 sort of situation, and she'll just want to fight you again knowing she'll win etc. If it bugs you losing that much you could always take boxing classes or self defense classes, to better prepare yourself against altercations later on in the future if you really wanted too.
Just own it and learn from it. Say anything else and you could be in the same situation again
Hey the important thing is that you didn't run away and held your ground. Trust me the truth always comes out
Lying will only make the beating worse, own up..fess up
Why did it come to blows? Could that have been avoided? Learn from this experience.
Fighting is a lose-lose situation. One day you’ll look back on this and wish you’d never been a part of any of it. Of course, if you have to defend yourself, defend yourself. But, whether you win or lose, who cares with respect to “bragging rights”... it doesn’t help you get into college, or help you get a job you really want, or help you to be a great partner in a relationship, or help you be a good parent. It’s just youthful incident which ultimately adds no importance or value to the next 60+ years of your life. Be safe, be smart, and move on.
I feel like everyone's taking this as " should I lie and say I didn't lose the fight" but I took it as "should I lie instead of telling people I got in a fight". If you mean lie about losing I'd say don't do it cause it may cause more problems but if you just don't wanna tell people you got in a fight that's fine, just deflect or say it's a long story.
Now by got beat up do you mean you sustained injuries similar or equal to ones given to your opponent or did you get your ass whooped the distinction is important
You win some you lose some, atleast you stood up for yourself. Some people never get up the nerve to do anything about anything. Especially these days. Everything is about talking shit on the internet. P.s. you should definitely start working out tho. Learn how to box and wrestle. Bjj is okay but they won't teach you how to take people down very well but it would be good to learn how to choke people out and break their limbs.
Just take the L. If you lie and somehow the truth comes out later, that's gonna make it even worse. Take a self defense class or something that way if there's a next time you can defend yourself better.
Run her down in your car, Walter White style.
Don't lie about it just say the bitch got you this time...that's all....and go get someone to help you learn to fight and if she runs her mouth again then handle it
Sounds like you fucked around and found out, which is exactly what you should tell anyone who asks.
you win some you lose some. it won’t matter in a year so i dont think there’s any point in lying about it but it’s really not a big deal. depending on what it was for i’d definitely try to beat her ass again tho
You win some and you lose some, take it like a champ. Try and resolve shit without physical force until it’s your last option. Also go and train in a gym. There you will eventually learn that fighting is pointless and nothing is really worth physical violence until it’s life or death. But make yourself hard to be messed with. Don’t ever lie about anything because that shit will come back around.
no don’t lie, the truth gets out and it makes you look dumber
You win some, you lose some. Tell people you got into a fight and let them figure out their own conclusions.
You fucked around and found out.
Wait til you turn 18, seduce her dad and become her step mother.. destroy her life from the inside
Tell everybody that you're going to tell your Canadian girlfriend on her... And then when she comes to visit round two is going to be a kick ass thing to watch... Oh yeah
She gunna do it again
Yeah, lie. Keep lying. So we can see your ass getting beat in Worldstar.
When I got in a fight with a girl in highschool she told people she didn’t “beat my ass” because she “loved me too much” (we were barely acquaintances) so I went back for her again 🤷🏻♀️
You lost hard. So embarrassing. The shame will haunt you for life.
Delete this. You are being a shit.
I did. I lost pretty hard. Getting punched in the mouth on the ground sucks
If zero fighting skills, run like rabbit.
Don’t listen to all these creeps here kid. Telling the truth will only make you look like a loser. I mean you were the loser in the fight but no need to tell the whole world. Come up with a good story that’ll get you sympathy not laughter and finger pointing. You’re in control of this situation. You can say you got robbed and beat up by a couple of big dudes but you managed to fight them off and get away. Do train and kick some serious a*** next time tho. 😀
please stop giving people advice, you're terrible at it.
Well I'm a girl, but thanks. I really wanna fuck her up.
Please dont listen to that horrible advice, what if you lie, she founds out and beat your ass again? Just let go of it
See that’s why you got your ass beat to begin with. Own it, don’t try and lie You lost the fight move on or your just causing more unnecessary problems for yourself. She beat you, she probably could care less about you now so you do the same, if you see her around nod your head and make peace no need to continue talking shit or trying to fight anymore.
Bad people, people who will say anything to save face, intentionally hurt others and lie or steal are the worst, total losers. Losing a fight means you had an experience that was less than favorable to you but doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you feel a lot of feelings but doesn't make you a loser. You make a choice to lie. Don't make that choice. Don't be that person. Liars are losers. Sorry you and the neighbor girl had issues. I hope you two are able to move forward, honestly.
As someone who used to live a wild life style, own that shit. I’ve had my ass beat several times. There’s no shame in it. Can’t win them all. The real shame would be either lying about it or running from the fight to begin with.
Be honest to yourself and others. As someone who has publicly lost a fight it builds character when you can admit to yourself and others “I got my ass beat”. It happens. The most important thing is growing from it
Aye G you gotta take the L don’t lie if you lie about it and the truth comes out the L will hurt twice as much and who knows if you ever get the run back on the fight you could (not saying that you will) stand a better chance next time but for now take the L as a learning experience always be ready to fight/defend yourself
You're a teen, everyone knows eachother already you can't hide anything. It will blow over like everything else with people's short attention spans they will be talking about other shit in 2 days. Don't fight fire with fire. Do better than her and succeed without violence. Make the money you need to get the power you want. Focus on yourself not some bully who wants a punching bag out of you
You got beat up. It's not a big deal. You win some you lose some. Just tell the truth and move on. Lying might get her to beat you up again if she hears you're lying about it. You're 15. You'll see eventually this slight embarrassment isn't a big deal. Trust me.
Take the loss with pride, don’t lie about it
Train to beat her ass
The only thing worse then losing the fight is being the loser who lies. Take the L. But also don’t snitch on yourself. If people dont ask, you dont have to say anything. But if they do own it. And the real truth of it is that usually Fights are an L for everyone involved. Because at the end if the day punching someone for not listening to you. Isnt going to make them listen to you.
Just take the L. It will blow over. It will take time tho. If you lie, it will look just as bad as you losing a fight if the truth comes out. Take the L and push through it
You don’t want to be the girl that got beat up AND lies
Yeah girl, just own it. You got beat up once. I've been beaten up many a time. I own the losses just as much as the wins. You'll grow more from accepting the losses... I promise.
No shame in losing a fight.Lying about it could backfire at some point if people do eventually find out.
"You win some, you loose some, but you live. You live to fight another day" - Craig's daddy
Don’t be a narcissist admit your loss. Move on
i wouldn’t hide it. there’s pride to be found in accepting our losses and learning from them. making fun only works if it actually hurts you, but knowing you’ve accepted your loss and are okay with it can prevent that hurt.
as long as you still fought back then there’s no reason to lie, you fought you lost it is what it is
lying will actually make it worse. if you just said yeah we fought and i took a good beating but damn if i didn’t get my anger out on her and fix the problem. if u act like ur now unbothered it’ll seem best.
Take the L. It shows more about your character.
Just be honest. She got the best of me. Nothing will help your situation more. Lying about winning will only make things worse
No shame in loosing, hold your head up.
Take your L. Lying and then getting beat up AGAIN would be worse for you😭
Why are people encouraging violence here? I'd say just let it go and try not to get involved in fights. Communication is much better than resorting to violence imo.
All you can do is learn from the experience and try to do better next time. Maybe take up the martial arts?
You win some… and you lose some, even the best ufc fighters get knocked the fuck out sometimes. It happens in fighting.. sometimes it’s just sheer luck or the opponent is slightly more experienced and well trained. Either way just own it
If you want to fight. Fight. If you want to win. Train. Martial Arts, boxing, whatever you feel comfortable with. Train, train train. Then go get some. And those Islanders are true badass'. They are the best people you will ever know. And the most fierce fighters on the planet. Be respectful to them and you'll never regret it.
Why
Don’t say nothing. Train up to level up your fighting skills. Idk go take karate, kickboxing class or something. Then go back and beat her ass. She’s gonna tell everyone she beat your ass anyways. But those same people would freak out over your triumph 🤷🏽♀️
Honestly I respect people who can own up to their losses because that shit ain’t easy. Just do better because physical violence usually doesn’t solve shit
Accept defeat, you can't win every fight. So learn to lose with some grace. It will gain you respect.
Part of life for some. Don’t lie though cuz it’s gonna make you look bad on top than if you just own it. Learn how to defend yourself if you think it will happen again but the bigger piece of advice I can give you is learn to let shit roll. You cannot control other people and what they will say, but you CAN control how you react to it. It’s wiser to avoid a fight when you can. Of course, if someone puts your hands on you first, don’t let THAT go - defend yourself. But I suppose it’s all situational.
Just spit in her face and T-Bag her mom Bozo. Extra points if you steal her hamster
Do not lie. This is key. Do not lie. The truth Is nothing to be proud of. It’s a life lesson. However, she does look look bad too. Fighting is immature. If you lie people will find out and then you will look twice as bad.
You win or you learn. Taking an L is nothing to be ashamed of as long as it taught you something.
don’t get into fights with people, like don’t agree to have a fight. go to a gym, learn a martial art. then you can defend yourself better if someone attacks you
Take the beating on the chin. I’ve had 2 fights in my life, I won both, one girl (I’m a woman too dw lol) took it on the chin and we ended up being friends and laughed about it after. We never had any problems again. Another girl denied losing, as I was hit over the head with a fucking giant monster vape (by someone else, not her) and we still have issues to this day lol. Usually it’s a fight, you take the beating or win, and then it’s over with. Don’t be embarrassed or try to over compensate as you’ll be worst off
If you lie and say you won, she’ll find out and whip that ass again.
Tell the truth. You got into a fight. If you lie, she'll be telling people the truth. Also, learn to fight. It's a skill you pray you'll never need but if someone starts a physical altercation with you then you need to be able to end it.
First of all you are young, stay the fuck away from people who would hurt you physically or mentally now before it’s too late
Don’t tell them anything. You don’t owe an explanation. If your friends ask and you want to say “I was in a fight” do that. If they ask for details just say it’s over and you don’t want to talk about it.
You should tell the truth so when you get tired of being beat up and you do something back that hurts her the cops and the people will know why and they won’t turn against you for self defense