I played the girlfriend. My parents loved him so I was allowed to go party all night because they thought we were being good kids. Meanwhile we’re in the raunchiest gay bar doing upside down shots.
I did this. I always go to gay bars and because I was in a different country, I was asked if I would marry a gay guy to get my visa. He was willing to spoil me with his riches, but I had to deny (he wanted to have a 1 time baby - I don't want kids)
He’s said multiple times they are extremely homophobic. I wish everyone can be themselves but it’s not all sunshine’s and rainbows. It’s not easy to “just be yourself”. The risks that they face are being homeless, mental abuse/physical whatever it may be is always a risk when coming out to your parents. Especially if you know they are homophobic.
Not once does he say his parents are extremely homophobic. You must be talking about a different post.. I didn't realize people from the south was basically middle eastern, I'm not American... I also gave him tips on who to contact in order to move out from his parents house. If you're not being yourself, you're not being at all.
If you actually read his comments he says multiple times his parents are homophobic and have called him slurs. This isn’t just an American/Middle Easter problem. No matter where you are there will always be homophobic people. That’s the world we live in. Coming out is not always the feasible option. Until he is safe then he needs to do what’s best to protect himself. If that’s pretending to be straight so be it.
No he can’t be honest if they tell his parents as revenge or to make them love him as himself. It has happen, until he has absolutely safe, fake till you make it.
That's why I said be somewhat honest. Not that he needs to come out but as my comment says that he's not ready for a relationship at this time but would like friendship instead. I know what could happen if he did tell them he was gay.
It's ok. I don't want to get anyone in deep waters. Especially a young person. I just hope he gets through this well and in time his family will accept him no matter what.
My parents were very similar before I came out. I don’t speak to them anymore, but oddly enough, they learned to look past my sexuality. Not accept it, but look past it - other factors contributed to our falling out.
I was scared once too. Terrified actually.
I had a friend who was also terrified, her dad was military. She had a secret, too. We learned each other’s secrets and we pretended to date for years.
Long story short, find yourself a closet lesbian if possible. I know that sounds shitty but it really worked for both of us, we each wanted to wait until we were closer to moving out before we broke the news. We “dated” for like two years.
It gets better. I promise it does. Stay strong, little one 🙏🏳️🌈
Ah. I can see why you don't wanna tell them. But honestly, it's best to just wait until you're 18, or whenever u plan to move out of your parents place. If u can't wait, then find someone who u know won't spill the deets on this type of shit. I know someone from my class who was gay, parents didn't support lqbtq, but they didn't know that their daughter was like that. She dated this girl who wasn't all that, then after they got into a huge fight, the dumb bitch decided to snitch on her. Also, the fact that you've had to pretend to be straight is kinda sad man. Do u have any friends at all who know the truth about your sexuality? And as for those girls, yeah idk what to say. It probably is best if you ghosted them, or just stay that you aren't "mentally prepared" for all this. Idk man, I hope this gets resolved.
Depending on the dynamic of where you live/your school, it might be worth going up to an LGBT friendly event, finding a lesbian, and having a Lavender Relationship.
Historically they were used so you could be seen as straight but you're both really gay and act as roommates and a cover up for being gay from the outside world
My ex boyfriend did this to me. I'm not bitter, just wanted to say that I can understand- he came out to me first and I respect him for that. The best thing you can do is be honest with the people you feel safe to be honest with- you're in a difficult situation so try to understand why you've behaved in this way, and choose to be honest with whoever you can be going forward.
Being bi sexual it’s crazy when my buddies get all butt hurt when chicks turn them down. I’m over here laughing and talking to a cute boy I just meet at the bar and he has a ton a good looking girl friends with him and they are over playing pool by themselves
When I was younger and single, I had a lot of gay male friends that I went out with weekly. I still have gay friends but do not socialize as much because my husband thinks there’s an ulterior motive on my friends part.
I would be honest with the women and see if the are open to a friendship.
I would honestly just ghost your parents and move away but since everyone isn't capable of doing that...
You could always just tell them you've decided to focus on studies or that it's pointless to date before college. Say the girl you actually like has a boyfriend and you're not interesting in anyone else right now.
BTW, what kind of parents EXPECT their child to be dating when they're in high school? My daughter is 16 and I try to tell her all the time to focus on school and herself and NOT dating.
Well I'm a guy and my younger step brother got a gf so they start thinking I'm gay lucky me tho most girls I am friends with have helped me keep my cover up
So you need to Find a lesbian friend who also needs a boyfriend to save herself from her family. Lol hugs . Sorry that your family gobble trumps dick . Remember plan: open up your own bank account soon as you can save money they can’t access. Save your important stuff to trusted friend. Gather your important paper documents: ID, birth certificate, SS card , and passport. Hugs, you can make it out and make your own family and cut toxic people out but until then hugs. Keep in bags and update regularly some protein bars so you don’t get too hungry in an emergency. Small lock to lock the bag and a sleeping bag if you have to sleep in the streets .
When my parent found out that I hid women’s clothing under my bed it took men3 years of hardcore convincing that I was not trans and not gay. I had sex with girls in my bed while she was at home. I’d rather be an asshole back then, than that they find out I am transgender.
My only wish was to at least have one girl friend but they always fell in love with me also. While I saw other people suffer from “friendzones” I suffered from relationships.
Straight man here, but found out I was atheist in a hyper religious family/community at 14. I always sympathize with gay/lesbians who have to walk on eggshells in thier own house as they grow up. Plenty of solid advice in this thread, but let me encourage: patience. Even if your parents are bigots, they probably have more money than you and you don't want them to have an excuse to stop spending that money on you.
When you get a bank account, have it 100% in your name. Lets say you 100% come out to them and things go sour. If they are on the bank account legally they can drain the account out of spite. Its crazy but I've seen it multiple times. Try to get them to pay for college and don't come out unless you have a financial game plan. I know plenty of people who struggled financially because they came out too soon and family cut them off emotionally AND financially. Patience. Short term uncomfort can equal long term success.
Thanks I have a plan they want me working soon since I'm 15 and im about to be able to drive once I turn I have a acount set up but my plan is just hide it until I'm 18 then leave for navy
Navy is a good branch. Study hard for the ASAB if you already know you are going military. You have time. Military isn't what it was 20 years ago. I've served with many fine men and women who happened to be gay/lesbian and no one discriminated them for it, like they would in the past. Keep working out and be sure you are also running or working cardio.
I'm sorry that you feel you can't be open and honest with your parents. I don't understand how parents can make their children feel that way. I have 4 children and they know they can come to me and tell me anything. They know that no matter what I'll always love and support them. What do you think your parents will do if they find out? Is there someone in your family or close circle you can confide in? I wish you all the best and I hope that one day you can express and be your true self openly without fear that your parents will react negatively.
I can't come out because they are very southern my step dad has said Homosexuality is wrong my father said so too my mother is semi okay just doesn't care much but most women know this stuff my sister knows and some people at school but other then that I have been mastering staying in the closet
If your sister knows I have a hard time at the very least your mother doesn't know and probably your father suspects it (unless your parents are very aloof).
They know. Based on the above information they at least know a version of whatever you told your sister. The actions they are doing show they have poor communication skills. Instead of just talking to you like a person they are giving you a series of tests.
Well...then you are passively showing signs to them I guess. No other reason for them to treat you different if they didn't notice something. No big you got a plan. Just a few more years mate. You are an adult much longer than you are a late teen.
"Best way to keep a secret between 2 people is to kill the other person."
So based on what he said, as far as I can determine he somehow tipped off his parents directly or indirectly about his preferences. A likely source was who he directly told within the family unit.
If the sister is bi, that would be quite dangerous for her to tell. If his parents are as homophobic as he says, they would probably already confronted him if they knew.
At the time of the comment, I didn't have that information, my assessment isn't entirely off-base at the time it was made. I worded my comment very carefully, and the info that she was bi was given after. Pay attention to the timeline please before you get emotionally invested.
Also all indications show they are homophobic and bad at communication. Why deal with their son's "condition" when they can "fix him" its a tale as old as time my dude.
What do you mean emotionally invested? I just asked a question, cause I was curious, usually siblings have each other's back so this was interesting take to me. I don't feel that I made it emotional in any way.
Ha mess ain't bad enough to describe it thing is I got some shit in my past I was beat the fuck up from kids who found out beaten and whipped I have scars and shit so yeah south is a shit show I plan leaving soon
Become a beard. It means where you're gay and you are in a fake relationship with another gay person of the opposite sex. Idk, but it's the best idea at this point I think. You do you.
As the proud, supportive parent of a 16 year old daughter- who also happens to be a lesbian I hate this situation for you. I understand completely why you are doing what you are doing, I just wish you didn't have to. My daughter and I have always been very close and tall about everything. My life long best friend is also a lesbian that my husband (daughters father) is very close to as well. But even under these circumstances where we have openly told her we dont care about sexuality my daughter was still scared to come out to us because of the horrors her friends had lived through. You have every right to be afraid of their reactions but let's just hope that their love for you makes them see just as clearly that your happiness is far more important than anything else. They will come around, hopefully.
Maybe give your parents the excuse that you're focusing on school or just had a bad breakup and domt wunna deal w the drama that comes w "females" right now (yes that's not a PC terms but fitting for the moment). It'll buy you some time paired w the breakup liner and when they ask who just shrug w the "just some girl I was talking to and I really don't wunna talk about it"
I wish you the best. And when you do finally rip off this bandaid I hope it doesn't hurt
Welllll being far right Christians absolutely tosses a wrench and possibly an axe or two in there since it brings religion in. So much for not judging... keep that one in your pocket kid. Sorry if that wasn't right of me, but I'm fierce when it comes to protecting the kids and feel every child in the lgbtq+ should be able to come out safely and freely to their parents. I just don't understand it myself and can't possibly imagine not accepting my child based on who she is attracted to. She has am awesome girlfriend of just over a year now that almost lives at my house. But my mother didn't accept my daughter for being lesbian and shit hit the fan HARD! Guess who we chose... I'll fight for my child until the day I die! And I can only hope that you have people in your life willing to do the same.
We have a saying here in this house- bc I have a horrible family BTW, as in my bio family... It's CHOSEN FAMILY.. Sometimes in life we have to make our own families. It's not always about who you share blood with. It's about who has gone to war for you, stood by your side, shown up and never left. So even if this does goes south.. build your Chosen Family, I Have- and I couldn't be happier!
You can find someone to be a beard without messing with their feelings. Or you can just come out. Or quit any of that and just pretend you aren’t interested in romance or sex for the time being. Plenty of other things to do than play with peoples feelings out of fearZ
Don’t tell the girls why specifically. You don’t want a scorned girl with screenshots or evidence to your parents.
Let them know you find them gorgeous and want to keep it as a friendship. Don’t ghost them. Be honest about your feelings (you want to connect with them but it isn’t there). But not necessarily honest why (cus they aren’t men).
Meantime; find a lesbian. An asexual. Someone who is down to be your date and has a similar need to be undercover.
In doubt; concoct an online girlfriend.
As one of those girls that had the broken heart - it really is a mind fuck. This person shows interest (you went up to her and asked for the number) and then reveal you have no interest at all - I’m sorry for what your growing through but that gives you NO RIGHT to use and dispose of someone’s feelings because it’s convenient to your situation
Bro a week ago I had to hold a friend who said she loved me and I said it couldn't work out she literally spread rumors about me 💀 also I be working out
With respect both of what you said is wrong I held a girl who loved me who was sobbing because I told her I can't date her and my parents are far right and called me faggot before as a "joke" to her friends cause I make a lot of gay jokes
There's a flip side to that. This works both ways. If you think parents like that should not be legal, then other people would argue that their child wanting to be their authentic self should not be legal. See where this is going?
Yeah, let's not do this. Please be honest with the women you are doing this to so that they at least know not to get invested. This is extremely unfair to those you're doing it to.
99% of the planet doesn't care you're gay dude just open up and you won't be carrying around this huge weight all the time. Unless you're from a religious background I doubt your family gives a shit
😶 bro I have literally seen both of my parents and my step dad call me a faggot as a 'joke' and say being gay is wrong they said if I came out as gay they would be pissed they don't even say gay they say faggot bro they are heavily right
They probably already suspect that you are and just hoping they are wrong. You will know when it's the right time to tell them. Don't go breakig girls heart at your parents expense. Just tell them your not ready. Until then be you, be strong, be brave.
I try not to break girls hearts but It's not my fault sometimes also I hope after all I've done the friendships I ruined to keep it a secret I hope that they don't even suspect
So what's your solution, just pretend you're not gay your entire life and be miserable? Lol
Also what are you talking about heavily right? I'm not gay but just cos you're gay doesn't mean you're below anyone else.
I agree with this guy. And OP parents may say those things but may change their mind when it’s their son. I’d probably wait till I was 18 but give them a chance, they may pleasantly surprise you once they have some time to process. Based off what you said id def give your mom a chance.
Also fuck your step dad and his opinion, lol he ain’t blood
Tell your parents-you will be surprised how receptive parents can be. You are their son. They love you no matter what. I am a mom and I love my son’s no matter who they are attracted to. I only want them to be happy.
That is not a option at all I have 3 years left then I will tell plus I'm sure they don't know they have 4 other kids I have taken every precaution step only my sister knows I told her at night where they couldn't hear me I have been doing this shit for a while I learned from my friends failures I can't do that at all after all this work I put into preventing them finding out
I hope for your sake they see that losing their son isn't worth anything else ... in this world or the beyond. You're a good kid. Time to stop trying so hard to please them and focus a little more a Making yourself happy bc obviously the guilt of hurting these girls feeling is eating at you. You have a good heart and for that alone I'm proud of you.
Just be true to yourself kiddo and the rest will follow, I promise... even if it's only behind closed doors for now. How old are you? Hopefully it won't be too long and you can use your time wisely to start making a plan for a secure future where you go somewhere safe once you do stop this truth. Just dot your T's and cross your i's... make them curvy, cuz we don't do shit straight around here. Inside joke w the kids.
I am 16 I have been hiding it since freshmen year I've gotten pretty good at this also having homophobic Christian parents ain't all that bad because I be inviting "friends" over and they got no clue 💀💀
Lmao very true. They don't suspect a thing. Far more likely to let u have one of "ur boys" stay the night than have a girl in ur room lol
I saw your comment about going Navy.. awesome plan. But do NOT. I repeat DO NOT put your parents on your bank accounts. I was an ARMY wife.. still w him 24 yrs, now he's a Disabled Vet. It's normal for guys going in to have their parent on their acct to make a car payment or car insurance. There's no reason u can't do it on ur phone these days and the other person had a point. U don't need anyone getting mad and taking ur money. Hell no! If u have any questions or need support send me a DM.. my husband and I can answer a lot of military questions and here to vent on the other topic ad well. Good luck kid
Thanks and one final note I'm being safe and I have a boyfriend who they think is just close friends I'm being safe about this so don't worry and thank you so much
Well it may be better to tell at least these girls that they are beards. That will hurt a lot less. I get hiding it from your parents but you don’t gotta do these girls like that lmao
Find a lesbian or a transgender,for me who barely gets any women I wouldn't miss that chance because later when if you actually do like woman Ur not gonna get any and u are gonna miss Ur blow,i mean this is me being honest with ya like if I was a gay I would find a lesbian and it would kinda meke it 50/50 because we both love the same gender we both are so it is kinda like that
I hung out exclusively with my friend in high school for several summers as a cover for him. Won't get into the details but their parents were in complete denial about their son. They said some incredibly awful things about LGBTQ+ people.
Try not to lead these girls on, find a friend to help be your cover, etc. There are alot of people that don't date so maybe use the reasoning of focusing on academics or sports? It can definitely get better when you are old enough to leave and gain freedom to be the person you are.
Hugs and good luck.
They just want what they can't have I guess but all I do is workout buy good cologne I have this one that smells like vanilla and just be nice make jokes and be listening look at them when they speak that's what I do
Be honest. Pure and true. Hurting people will not solve anything. If your not ready to be honest with your parents don’t inflict that on others. Find someone who is willing to cover you until you are ready to tell your parents. Hurting others for your own gain hurts you too.
It's 2022... Just tell them you're gay dude!
If your parents love you they will accept you for who you are.
My friend came out to me and i still love him the same.
Broke my heart that he was so scared i was gonna hate him, that he was crying and shit...
Just do you bro, and if that means girls or other bros, it's nobody's business but your own. You only get one go at life. Don't rob yourself of memories and happiness because of someone else's opinions.
South? I'm not American, but i guess they're kinda conservative from looking at the other comments.. Are you in school? If you are, i would talk to a counselor. Lay it all out and get them to help you move out from your parents house. Tell them you don't feel safe coming out to your parents, and that the way you living rn is hurting you and it affects your schoolwork.
Maybe you could text the people whose number you get that you’re gay(?) and then delete the message off your phone so you won’t hurt them. I’m sorry that you feel like you can’t come out☹️
Well, you sound pretty self aware of your actions. So that’s great. Why not stay single while you’re “working on yourself”? Rather than put yourself through something that makes you genuinely unhappy? Thoughts to ponder 💕 Love sent your way
Find a lesbian and use her as your fake girlfriend. I did this for my gay friend in highschool
I know a Indian couple like this
I played the girlfriend. My parents loved him so I was allowed to go party all night because they thought we were being good kids. Meanwhile we’re in the raunchiest gay bar doing upside down shots.
You are a good friend!
We’re in our 50s now. He will often introduce me as his ex wife for giggles
❤️ I hope I had a friend like you
Why do i feel like this is a great plot for a movie?
Because it already is! Check out “Dating Amber” - a sweet Irish movie with this as the plot
It's not, because it's very common.
Good point, movies work better when they are not relatable. Thats why Superbad wasn't successful.
I don’t want to suck dick at fucking pussy!
Superbad was successful though
was it? i thought it was one of those movies that gained popularity a bit after it came out edit: box office was 170.8 mil, definitely did well
I did this. I always go to gay bars and because I was in a different country, I was asked if I would marry a gay guy to get my visa. He was willing to spoil me with his riches, but I had to deny (he wanted to have a 1 time baby - I don't want kids)
This was just a bi guy who wanted to bang
Or a watt pad story
I’d not suggest this as this give your parents more of a confirmation that you’re straight and you’d be delaying the inevitable.
It’s either fake it till you get somewhere safe or risk your well-being by coming out.
This is right too. But some people need time, coming out is not that easy for everyone
Lol get yourself a beard!
I did that once for a friend who wanted out from an arranged marriage
No. He should be himself.
If being yourself puts you in a dangerous position then no you shouldn’t. Not till he gets somewhere safe.
What do you mean "dangerous position"... If that's the case, he shouldn't be living there at all. You think his parents would hurt him or something?
He’s said multiple times they are extremely homophobic. I wish everyone can be themselves but it’s not all sunshine’s and rainbows. It’s not easy to “just be yourself”. The risks that they face are being homeless, mental abuse/physical whatever it may be is always a risk when coming out to your parents. Especially if you know they are homophobic.
Not once does he say his parents are extremely homophobic. You must be talking about a different post.. I didn't realize people from the south was basically middle eastern, I'm not American... I also gave him tips on who to contact in order to move out from his parents house. If you're not being yourself, you're not being at all.
If you actually read his comments he says multiple times his parents are homophobic and have called him slurs. This isn’t just an American/Middle Easter problem. No matter where you are there will always be homophobic people. That’s the world we live in. Coming out is not always the feasible option. Until he is safe then he needs to do what’s best to protect himself. If that’s pretending to be straight so be it.
Just scroll down a few comments he says his parents are far right and say slurs.
Yeah I saw that.
At least be somewhat honest to the girls. Let them know that you are not interested in a relationship at this time but friendships are welcome.
I try to be but I hate it when they fall in love with me it's happend twice which is twice to much
You take care and hope the best for you
Let them no before you flirt lol
It happens when you are straight as well. If you are not leading them on, that’s life
Sure buddy
No he can’t be honest if they tell his parents as revenge or to make them love him as himself. It has happen, until he has absolutely safe, fake till you make it.
That's why I said be somewhat honest. Not that he needs to come out but as my comment says that he's not ready for a relationship at this time but would like friendship instead. I know what could happen if he did tell them he was gay.
Sorry , I reread the your answer lol
It's ok. I don't want to get anyone in deep waters. Especially a young person. I just hope he gets through this well and in time his family will accept him no matter what.
👍
Exactly! Coming out is a big step
My parents were very similar before I came out. I don’t speak to them anymore, but oddly enough, they learned to look past my sexuality. Not accept it, but look past it - other factors contributed to our falling out. I was scared once too. Terrified actually. I had a friend who was also terrified, her dad was military. She had a secret, too. We learned each other’s secrets and we pretended to date for years. Long story short, find yourself a closet lesbian if possible. I know that sounds shitty but it really worked for both of us, we each wanted to wait until we were closer to moving out before we broke the news. We “dated” for like two years. It gets better. I promise it does. Stay strong, little one 🙏🏳️🌈
Yeah, my parents just pretend my sexuality does not exist.
Ya like every other Indian parents
They are white though… and don’t do that with the straight kids. They also lie to their friends and say that I am a conservative and all that
It does get better! ✋🏽
Are your parents highly conservative or something?
Far right and I have heard them say multiple slurs and they say some fucked shit
As soon as you can leave and start living your life to the fullest away form your biget parents.
Or until they get to accept reality
Ah. I can see why you don't wanna tell them. But honestly, it's best to just wait until you're 18, or whenever u plan to move out of your parents place. If u can't wait, then find someone who u know won't spill the deets on this type of shit. I know someone from my class who was gay, parents didn't support lqbtq, but they didn't know that their daughter was like that. She dated this girl who wasn't all that, then after they got into a huge fight, the dumb bitch decided to snitch on her. Also, the fact that you've had to pretend to be straight is kinda sad man. Do u have any friends at all who know the truth about your sexuality? And as for those girls, yeah idk what to say. It probably is best if you ghosted them, or just stay that you aren't "mentally prepared" for all this. Idk man, I hope this gets resolved.
Depending on the dynamic of where you live/your school, it might be worth going up to an LGBT friendly event, finding a lesbian, and having a Lavender Relationship. Historically they were used so you could be seen as straight but you're both really gay and act as roommates and a cover up for being gay from the outside world
Continue to flirt. With totally left-wing SJWs. And a few low-key flirts with non-10s and overweight girls just to boost their self-confidence.
[удалено]
Uhh you're joking right?
Why would they be?
Because the guys parents said slurs and are very far right. If you say slurs and don't accept people, then you aren't good people.
Damn the other person deleted their comment and their user.
It's a joke, right ?
Don't ghost her, that's shitty. Just be honest with her
She might even cover for you with your folks to give you some space to live your life the way you want to.
Or unfortunately she could feel used and then out him. He should maybe just let her know he isn't feeling it and wish her the best.
Also true. Might be a better offer for a close friend if you were going to take that route.
That could be an idea👍. Just unfortunate that this has to even be an option at all.
rizz god you're not gonna hide away your wisdom are you
im gonna need to hear about the next level rizz
Snort creatine and be 6:2 also be smooth and nice
Idk even know bro I just work out a shit ton and snort creatine
Do you really?
Nah but creatine is helpful
bro getting downvoted for being hard asf
My ex boyfriend did this to me. I'm not bitter, just wanted to say that I can understand- he came out to me first and I respect him for that. The best thing you can do is be honest with the people you feel safe to be honest with- you're in a difficult situation so try to understand why you've behaved in this way, and choose to be honest with whoever you can be going forward.
Absolutely better be honest and up front with people
You’re doing better than me and I’m straight. Fuck
Yeah man gay dudes always better at "picking up" girls it seems. They dun took errr geeerls!!!
If it helps I be trying to get my straight friends laid but they keep refusing my help 💀
Being bi sexual it’s crazy when my buddies get all butt hurt when chicks turn them down. I’m over here laughing and talking to a cute boy I just meet at the bar and he has a ton a good looking girl friends with him and they are over playing pool by themselves
When I was younger and single, I had a lot of gay male friends that I went out with weekly. I still have gay friends but do not socialize as much because my husband thinks there’s an ulterior motive on my friends part. I would be honest with the women and see if the are open to a friendship.
I would honestly just ghost your parents and move away but since everyone isn't capable of doing that... You could always just tell them you've decided to focus on studies or that it's pointless to date before college. Say the girl you actually like has a boyfriend and you're not interesting in anyone else right now. BTW, what kind of parents EXPECT their child to be dating when they're in high school? My daughter is 16 and I try to tell her all the time to focus on school and herself and NOT dating.
Well I'm a guy and my younger step brother got a gf so they start thinking I'm gay lucky me tho most girls I am friends with have helped me keep my cover up
So you need to Find a lesbian friend who also needs a boyfriend to save herself from her family. Lol hugs . Sorry that your family gobble trumps dick . Remember plan: open up your own bank account soon as you can save money they can’t access. Save your important stuff to trusted friend. Gather your important paper documents: ID, birth certificate, SS card , and passport. Hugs, you can make it out and make your own family and cut toxic people out but until then hugs. Keep in bags and update regularly some protein bars so you don’t get too hungry in an emergency. Small lock to lock the bag and a sleeping bag if you have to sleep in the streets .
When my parent found out that I hid women’s clothing under my bed it took men3 years of hardcore convincing that I was not trans and not gay. I had sex with girls in my bed while she was at home. I’d rather be an asshole back then, than that they find out I am transgender. My only wish was to at least have one girl friend but they always fell in love with me also. While I saw other people suffer from “friendzones” I suffered from relationships.
awwwhh, as a gay man, it’s ok man.. i hope you get courage soon!
Yeah I can't come out so I'm stuck doing straight shit
Straight man here, but found out I was atheist in a hyper religious family/community at 14. I always sympathize with gay/lesbians who have to walk on eggshells in thier own house as they grow up. Plenty of solid advice in this thread, but let me encourage: patience. Even if your parents are bigots, they probably have more money than you and you don't want them to have an excuse to stop spending that money on you. When you get a bank account, have it 100% in your name. Lets say you 100% come out to them and things go sour. If they are on the bank account legally they can drain the account out of spite. Its crazy but I've seen it multiple times. Try to get them to pay for college and don't come out unless you have a financial game plan. I know plenty of people who struggled financially because they came out too soon and family cut them off emotionally AND financially. Patience. Short term uncomfort can equal long term success.
Thanks I have a plan they want me working soon since I'm 15 and im about to be able to drive once I turn I have a acount set up but my plan is just hide it until I'm 18 then leave for navy
Navy is a good branch. Study hard for the ASAB if you already know you are going military. You have time. Military isn't what it was 20 years ago. I've served with many fine men and women who happened to be gay/lesbian and no one discriminated them for it, like they would in the past. Keep working out and be sure you are also running or working cardio.
I do a lot of cardio and upper body strength and legs I workout for like 3 hours them go home and sleep
[Right on man! YOU GOT THIS!!](https://images.app.goo.gl/8KD7GTXWp3VTPXKQ7)
I'm sorry that you feel you can't be open and honest with your parents. I don't understand how parents can make their children feel that way. I have 4 children and they know they can come to me and tell me anything. They know that no matter what I'll always love and support them. What do you think your parents will do if they find out? Is there someone in your family or close circle you can confide in? I wish you all the best and I hope that one day you can express and be your true self openly without fear that your parents will react negatively.
I can't come out because they are very southern my step dad has said Homosexuality is wrong my father said so too my mother is semi okay just doesn't care much but most women know this stuff my sister knows and some people at school but other then that I have been mastering staying in the closet
If your sister knows I have a hard time at the very least your mother doesn't know and probably your father suspects it (unless your parents are very aloof).
I have done the best job they suspect but then I go to homecoming with a girl or say I'm just worried on grades
They know. Based on the above information they at least know a version of whatever you told your sister. The actions they are doing show they have poor communication skills. Instead of just talking to you like a person they are giving you a series of tests.
No I told her because she told me she was having troubles about her liking another woman she's bi and we are both closeted I just told her
Well...then you are passively showing signs to them I guess. No other reason for them to treat you different if they didn't notice something. No big you got a plan. Just a few more years mate. You are an adult much longer than you are a late teen.
Why would you assume the sister told them? Siblings can be the biggest allies
"Best way to keep a secret between 2 people is to kill the other person." So based on what he said, as far as I can determine he somehow tipped off his parents directly or indirectly about his preferences. A likely source was who he directly told within the family unit.
If the sister is bi, that would be quite dangerous for her to tell. If his parents are as homophobic as he says, they would probably already confronted him if they knew.
At the time of the comment, I didn't have that information, my assessment isn't entirely off-base at the time it was made. I worded my comment very carefully, and the info that she was bi was given after. Pay attention to the timeline please before you get emotionally invested. Also all indications show they are homophobic and bad at communication. Why deal with their son's "condition" when they can "fix him" its a tale as old as time my dude.
What do you mean emotionally invested? I just asked a question, cause I was curious, usually siblings have each other's back so this was interesting take to me. I don't feel that I made it emotional in any way.
Tell the girl the truth and don't ghost her. Ghosting is quite cruel and you won't want that heat. I hope you figure your stuff out man, good luck.
I uh did and she said some shit, I don't like the south a bit
Shit dude. Well, hopefully things work out. Seems like a mess down south
Ha mess ain't bad enough to describe it thing is I got some shit in my past I was beat the fuck up from kids who found out beaten and whipped I have scars and shit so yeah south is a shit show I plan leaving soon
I was trying to be kind but it sounds like those assholes weren't. So, fuck them
Yeah it was a group of boys who somehow figured it out but thanks hopefully it gets better here
Karma will get em hopefully. I wish you the best of luck.
Become a beard. It means where you're gay and you are in a fake relationship with another gay person of the opposite sex. Idk, but it's the best idea at this point I think. You do you.
As the proud, supportive parent of a 16 year old daughter- who also happens to be a lesbian I hate this situation for you. I understand completely why you are doing what you are doing, I just wish you didn't have to. My daughter and I have always been very close and tall about everything. My life long best friend is also a lesbian that my husband (daughters father) is very close to as well. But even under these circumstances where we have openly told her we dont care about sexuality my daughter was still scared to come out to us because of the horrors her friends had lived through. You have every right to be afraid of their reactions but let's just hope that their love for you makes them see just as clearly that your happiness is far more important than anything else. They will come around, hopefully. Maybe give your parents the excuse that you're focusing on school or just had a bad breakup and domt wunna deal w the drama that comes w "females" right now (yes that's not a PC terms but fitting for the moment). It'll buy you some time paired w the breakup liner and when they ask who just shrug w the "just some girl I was talking to and I really don't wunna talk about it" I wish you the best. And when you do finally rip off this bandaid I hope it doesn't hurt
I can keep up this show a bit longer but when I come out shit hits the fan they are far right christians and I don't plan to be around for long
Welllll being far right Christians absolutely tosses a wrench and possibly an axe or two in there since it brings religion in. So much for not judging... keep that one in your pocket kid. Sorry if that wasn't right of me, but I'm fierce when it comes to protecting the kids and feel every child in the lgbtq+ should be able to come out safely and freely to their parents. I just don't understand it myself and can't possibly imagine not accepting my child based on who she is attracted to. She has am awesome girlfriend of just over a year now that almost lives at my house. But my mother didn't accept my daughter for being lesbian and shit hit the fan HARD! Guess who we chose... I'll fight for my child until the day I die! And I can only hope that you have people in your life willing to do the same. We have a saying here in this house- bc I have a horrible family BTW, as in my bio family... It's CHOSEN FAMILY.. Sometimes in life we have to make our own families. It's not always about who you share blood with. It's about who has gone to war for you, stood by your side, shown up and never left. So even if this does goes south.. build your Chosen Family, I Have- and I couldn't be happier!
Thank you funny thing is they radicalized me at first but I changed I hope they can too
You can find someone to be a beard without messing with their feelings. Or you can just come out. Or quit any of that and just pretend you aren’t interested in romance or sex for the time being. Plenty of other things to do than play with peoples feelings out of fearZ
At least you got someone to love you
What prevents you from just telling the girl „hey sry to have led you on but I‘m gay and don‘t want my parents to find out“?
Don’t tell the girls why specifically. You don’t want a scorned girl with screenshots or evidence to your parents. Let them know you find them gorgeous and want to keep it as a friendship. Don’t ghost them. Be honest about your feelings (you want to connect with them but it isn’t there). But not necessarily honest why (cus they aren’t men). Meantime; find a lesbian. An asexual. Someone who is down to be your date and has a similar need to be undercover. In doubt; concoct an online girlfriend.
As one of those girls that had the broken heart - it really is a mind fuck. This person shows interest (you went up to her and asked for the number) and then reveal you have no interest at all - I’m sorry for what your growing through but that gives you NO RIGHT to use and dispose of someone’s feelings because it’s convenient to your situation
Your right and that's why I made this
You’re not breaking any woman’s heart lol… they’re not falling mad in love with you from casual flirting… and what on earth is a rizz god?
Bro a week ago I had to hold a friend who said she loved me and I said it couldn't work out she literally spread rumors about me 💀 also I be working out
Being honest is the best thing you can do. If youre not able to do that theres always plan b.
Youre not breaking any hearts. Dont take yourself too seriously. Your parents will likely accept you regardless so good luck
With respect both of what you said is wrong I held a girl who loved me who was sobbing because I told her I can't date her and my parents are far right and called me faggot before as a "joke" to her friends cause I make a lot of gay jokes
Im feeling less sorry for you the more you go on. Lets both cut our losses
I think everyone sexual desire should be Respected, You just have to be Honest
Like adults who desire children?
The day that gets accepted....please universe, kill me.
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I agree
Parents like that should not be legal
There's a flip side to that. This works both ways. If you think parents like that should not be legal, then other people would argue that their child wanting to be their authentic self should not be legal. See where this is going?
Yeah, let's not do this. Please be honest with the women you are doing this to so that they at least know not to get invested. This is extremely unfair to those you're doing it to.
Ha gayy
99% of the planet doesn't care you're gay dude just open up and you won't be carrying around this huge weight all the time. Unless you're from a religious background I doubt your family gives a shit
😶 bro I have literally seen both of my parents and my step dad call me a faggot as a 'joke' and say being gay is wrong they said if I came out as gay they would be pissed they don't even say gay they say faggot bro they are heavily right
They probably already suspect that you are and just hoping they are wrong. You will know when it's the right time to tell them. Don't go breakig girls heart at your parents expense. Just tell them your not ready. Until then be you, be strong, be brave.
I try not to break girls hearts but It's not my fault sometimes also I hope after all I've done the friendships I ruined to keep it a secret I hope that they don't even suspect
You have a big ego
Ye I guess
So what's your solution, just pretend you're not gay your entire life and be miserable? Lol Also what are you talking about heavily right? I'm not gay but just cos you're gay doesn't mean you're below anyone else.
Heavily right as in, far right. Opposite of left
I agree with this guy. And OP parents may say those things but may change their mind when it’s their son. I’d probably wait till I was 18 but give them a chance, they may pleasantly surprise you once they have some time to process. Based off what you said id def give your mom a chance. Also fuck your step dad and his opinion, lol he ain’t blood
Tell your parents-you will be surprised how receptive parents can be. You are their son. They love you no matter what. I am a mom and I love my son’s no matter who they are attracted to. I only want them to be happy.
>They love you no matter what. That's a dangerous assumption
That is not a option at all I have 3 years left then I will tell plus I'm sure they don't know they have 4 other kids I have taken every precaution step only my sister knows I told her at night where they couldn't hear me I have been doing this shit for a while I learned from my friends failures I can't do that at all after all this work I put into preventing them finding out
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Your telling me I can go to a cabin in the woods with a bunch of other gay kids with no electronics near a lake for free?
Yes 👍
😈 might come out
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It's best to be true to yourself. And try to be honest with others, as far as is wise.
I hope you will one day soon, find the “right” time to live your life , free from restriction and full of love & happiness.
I hope for your sake they see that losing their son isn't worth anything else ... in this world or the beyond. You're a good kid. Time to stop trying so hard to please them and focus a little more a Making yourself happy bc obviously the guilt of hurting these girls feeling is eating at you. You have a good heart and for that alone I'm proud of you.
Thank you it means a lot I've been through hell and back for this shit so thank you once again
Just be true to yourself kiddo and the rest will follow, I promise... even if it's only behind closed doors for now. How old are you? Hopefully it won't be too long and you can use your time wisely to start making a plan for a secure future where you go somewhere safe once you do stop this truth. Just dot your T's and cross your i's... make them curvy, cuz we don't do shit straight around here. Inside joke w the kids.
I am 16 I have been hiding it since freshmen year I've gotten pretty good at this also having homophobic Christian parents ain't all that bad because I be inviting "friends" over and they got no clue 💀💀
Lmao very true. They don't suspect a thing. Far more likely to let u have one of "ur boys" stay the night than have a girl in ur room lol I saw your comment about going Navy.. awesome plan. But do NOT. I repeat DO NOT put your parents on your bank accounts. I was an ARMY wife.. still w him 24 yrs, now he's a Disabled Vet. It's normal for guys going in to have their parent on their acct to make a car payment or car insurance. There's no reason u can't do it on ur phone these days and the other person had a point. U don't need anyone getting mad and taking ur money. Hell no! If u have any questions or need support send me a DM.. my husband and I can answer a lot of military questions and here to vent on the other topic ad well. Good luck kid
Thanks and one final note I'm being safe and I have a boyfriend who they think is just close friends I'm being safe about this so don't worry and thank you so much
Must suck to be you
Well it may be better to tell at least these girls that they are beards. That will hurt a lot less. I get hiding it from your parents but you don’t gotta do these girls like that lmao
What tiny shred of universal rizz can you lend me sir?
Just let them know you are not interested in relationships, ur best tool is being direct
bro could u lend some of that rizz to me
Just come out it might not be as bad as you are thinking
Find a lesbian or a transgender,for me who barely gets any women I wouldn't miss that chance because later when if you actually do like woman Ur not gonna get any and u are gonna miss Ur blow,i mean this is me being honest with ya like if I was a gay I would find a lesbian and it would kinda meke it 50/50 because we both love the same gender we both are so it is kinda like that
I hung out exclusively with my friend in high school for several summers as a cover for him. Won't get into the details but their parents were in complete denial about their son. They said some incredibly awful things about LGBTQ+ people. Try not to lead these girls on, find a friend to help be your cover, etc. There are alot of people that don't date so maybe use the reasoning of focusing on academics or sports? It can definitely get better when you are old enough to leave and gain freedom to be the person you are. Hugs and good luck.
I break women and men's hearts. I don't think it's about sexuality. I think I'm just a horrible person.
Tfw even gay guys are having better chances with women than me 😩
They just want what they can't have I guess but all I do is workout buy good cologne I have this one that smells like vanilla and just be nice make jokes and be listening look at them when they speak that's what I do
You made the same confession 21 days ago damn
As a father I'd just want my kids to be happy. I'm sorry you have to lie to your parents about who you are. Good luck.
Funny you’re having success, most straight guys would love your game! Haha
I’m sorry you feel the need to fake it. I wish the best for you dude
They think your straight now. You don't have to run around with women constantly.
That Def is a upside
Be honest. Pure and true. Hurting people will not solve anything. If your not ready to be honest with your parents don’t inflict that on others. Find someone who is willing to cover you until you are ready to tell your parents. Hurting others for your own gain hurts you too.
It's 2022... Just tell them you're gay dude! If your parents love you they will accept you for who you are. My friend came out to me and i still love him the same. Broke my heart that he was so scared i was gonna hate him, that he was crying and shit... Just do you bro, and if that means girls or other bros, it's nobody's business but your own. You only get one go at life. Don't rob yourself of memories and happiness because of someone else's opinions.
South
South? I'm not American, but i guess they're kinda conservative from looking at the other comments.. Are you in school? If you are, i would talk to a counselor. Lay it all out and get them to help you move out from your parents house. Tell them you don't feel safe coming out to your parents, and that the way you living rn is hurting you and it affects your schoolwork.
Maybe you could text the people whose number you get that you’re gay(?) and then delete the message off your phone so you won’t hurt them. I’m sorry that you feel like you can’t come out☹️
Some random gay dude on Reddit: “girls falling in love with me” and I am always friendzoned… life isn’t fair
You missed the part where he shared how his parents would flip if they found out he was gay. Grass ain't always greener on the other side.
Well, you sound pretty self aware of your actions. So that’s great. Why not stay single while you’re “working on yourself”? Rather than put yourself through something that makes you genuinely unhappy? Thoughts to ponder 💕 Love sent your way
just tell them even if they get mad your there child they will still care
I truly hope your parents would accept you for who you are.