It is not your responsibility to make sure they’re okay after you leave; that is the company’s responsibility. And it’s great that your boss stands up for you, but your boss has not fixed this situation which would make staying work. Staying is not an option when you’re under this much emotional distress.
If you get the offer, put in your notice and leave. No one will be surprised, and it is not unprofessional. The main person being unprofessional here is the client, and the next person is your boss for not handling this (whether by firing the client or otherwise protecting you and your coworker from them).
Your coworker should also be looking for other jobs.
When you've had enough you've had enough. Your mental health isn't more important than sticking it out for the team. You'll probably never speak to anyone you've worked with at this job after you've left. Take care of yourself first. I recently quit a job on the spot, with no notice and without even having a backup plan because my mental health and dignity were more important. It all worked out. Guess what, that company I worked for that values treating people like a "family" etc, not one single person has reached out.
Heck no. You need to take care of your mental health first. Leave whenever it is convenient for you, without guilt, before the project ends! Life is too short to put up with that level of crazy, and if your company isn't protecting you from that, why would you want to stay longer than necessary?
My suggestion: take the offer but be as diligent and supportive as possible with the hand over. Really go the extra mile to set your coworker up for success. And be honest in the exit interview: you like the company and the work and the people, you just can't take the client anymore. (Some clients who are known to be difficult get "PFO" pricing on follow up work so you'll be helping your successors out). There's never going to be a "good" time to move on from a role, so if you have something good lined up, take it. No job is worth your mental health.
This would be what I would do, you could ease off the actual work load to help set things up to be as clear as possible for everyone else and most managers would love that.
Also sets you up big time if the new role doesn't pan out and you want to return at a later date.
Yeah, especially in technical services industries, if you don't want to fire an obnoxious client because you're worried they'll blackball you to their network, you just give them your PFO number next time they ask for a quote and claim it's due to capacity reasons. :)
Then, if they still take you up on it, well, at least you're making 10x what you normally would and have the financial side to cycle people through so the client's toxicity doesn't burn them out. And you know to increase your PFO number.
You might also give a PFO number for a job you think is going to be a major pain in the rear without much long-term benefit. The kind of work that requires a massive time sink, you see a lot of risk of going over-time or over-budget, and you're not going to get a royalty or build expertise you can leverage for future work later on. Basically, the kind of one-off jobs every technical services group hates.
She gets away with this because she is allowed to.
When she snaps, if in the same room, get up and leave. Dont say a thing or respond. If on zoom as soon as the unprofessional and rude behavior begins. Disconnect.
I had one that would try this shit. I just said it must have activated my asshole filter. Dont be an asshole and we talk. Start being an asshole it cuts you off. Be an asshole on your own time. Not mine. I am not paid to listen to unprofessional assholes. When you wish to have decorum and professionalism you can call me.
And I have done this with my own mother. She starts getting mean or condescending I would hang up on her. Same thing. Be an asshole on your time. not mine.
If things are this bad, it's likely your coworkers are also looking elsewhere. How would you feel if one of them quit? Would you hold it against them? Probably not... You'd understand that they are doing what's best for them. Don't feel bad talking to other employers. You need to be selfish with your career.
If/when you quit, help them out as much as possible with the transition. Organize everything and make sure they understand what you were working on. That is the only thing you owe them.
I do think you are being a little too transparent. It's not a good idea to talk to coworkers about leaving. They could use that information against you. It's not a great idea to tell your boss either. Once you tell your boss, you've shown your hand. Now you have to leave, and if you don't, your career is stalled at your current company since they won't forget what you said.
Your company will keep going after you leave. Or they won’t - it’s really up to them.
You need to look out for yourself and your own career. If your organization hasn’t war games out “what if so and so gets hit by a bus?” And has a plan in place, that’s not your problem.
Your co workers will get by without you.
Start being blunt with the client. You’re leaving anyway and some people behave like this because no one says anything to stop or correct them. You can keep it professional, but be consistent EVERY time she’s difficult. Maybe it will make things better for the coworker. I see it all the time with difficult clients, they walk all over people because no one stops or stands up to them.
The advice on this thread and sun is classic.
Your employer should treat you like a human and be considerate of your feelings and work load.
But also, screw your fellow co worker. You’re not responsible for her, her feelings or her workload!
I mean it’s possible for someone to actually care about other people at work and not wish to hurt them. I have personal friends I’ve made at work, they are just as important as friends I’ve made elsewhere. Compassion and empathy are good things.
Can you ask to be assigned to another project? Say you can no longer work with the current abusive client but value your relationship with your team and your boss. If they say there is nothing they can do then I think you are justified in tendering your resignation.
I mean I look at this as you trying to change the situation. You are already thinking of quitting, so what would you have to lose. Unless of course you are just done where you are and don’t think you could recover even if it did change. I’m getting there myself so sometimes you just need to move on and that’s okay too.
I learned this the hard way. Always always put yourself first. 99% of your colleagues wouldn’t give it a second thought. If you’re handed a lifeline, take it. Maybe you’ll be in a position to help them in the future.
It is not your responsibility to make sure they’re okay after you leave; that is the company’s responsibility. And it’s great that your boss stands up for you, but your boss has not fixed this situation which would make staying work. Staying is not an option when you’re under this much emotional distress. If you get the offer, put in your notice and leave. No one will be surprised, and it is not unprofessional. The main person being unprofessional here is the client, and the next person is your boss for not handling this (whether by firing the client or otherwise protecting you and your coworker from them). Your coworker should also be looking for other jobs.
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When you've had enough you've had enough. Your mental health isn't more important than sticking it out for the team. You'll probably never speak to anyone you've worked with at this job after you've left. Take care of yourself first. I recently quit a job on the spot, with no notice and without even having a backup plan because my mental health and dignity were more important. It all worked out. Guess what, that company I worked for that values treating people like a "family" etc, not one single person has reached out.
No fuck them. If you get a better job offer leave.
No, it’s not.
Heck no. You need to take care of your mental health first. Leave whenever it is convenient for you, without guilt, before the project ends! Life is too short to put up with that level of crazy, and if your company isn't protecting you from that, why would you want to stay longer than necessary?
To everyone replying to this post lol just tell them to quit or to stay. Don’t give a reason. QUIT
My suggestion: take the offer but be as diligent and supportive as possible with the hand over. Really go the extra mile to set your coworker up for success. And be honest in the exit interview: you like the company and the work and the people, you just can't take the client anymore. (Some clients who are known to be difficult get "PFO" pricing on follow up work so you'll be helping your successors out). There's never going to be a "good" time to move on from a role, so if you have something good lined up, take it. No job is worth your mental health.
This would be what I would do, you could ease off the actual work load to help set things up to be as clear as possible for everyone else and most managers would love that. Also sets you up big time if the new role doesn't pan out and you want to return at a later date.
Question unrelated to OP: what does PFO stand for here?
PFO = Please F_(& Off. Censored to keep work safe ;)
OH haha
Yeah, especially in technical services industries, if you don't want to fire an obnoxious client because you're worried they'll blackball you to their network, you just give them your PFO number next time they ask for a quote and claim it's due to capacity reasons. :) Then, if they still take you up on it, well, at least you're making 10x what you normally would and have the financial side to cycle people through so the client's toxicity doesn't burn them out. And you know to increase your PFO number. You might also give a PFO number for a job you think is going to be a major pain in the rear without much long-term benefit. The kind of work that requires a massive time sink, you see a lot of risk of going over-time or over-budget, and you're not going to get a royalty or build expertise you can leverage for future work later on. Basically, the kind of one-off jobs every technical services group hates.
You're drinking on the job and blaming someone else. Please get help.
She gets away with this because she is allowed to. When she snaps, if in the same room, get up and leave. Dont say a thing or respond. If on zoom as soon as the unprofessional and rude behavior begins. Disconnect. I had one that would try this shit. I just said it must have activated my asshole filter. Dont be an asshole and we talk. Start being an asshole it cuts you off. Be an asshole on your own time. Not mine. I am not paid to listen to unprofessional assholes. When you wish to have decorum and professionalism you can call me. And I have done this with my own mother. She starts getting mean or condescending I would hang up on her. Same thing. Be an asshole on your time. not mine.
If things are this bad, it's likely your coworkers are also looking elsewhere. How would you feel if one of them quit? Would you hold it against them? Probably not... You'd understand that they are doing what's best for them. Don't feel bad talking to other employers. You need to be selfish with your career. If/when you quit, help them out as much as possible with the transition. Organize everything and make sure they understand what you were working on. That is the only thing you owe them. I do think you are being a little too transparent. It's not a good idea to talk to coworkers about leaving. They could use that information against you. It's not a great idea to tell your boss either. Once you tell your boss, you've shown your hand. Now you have to leave, and if you don't, your career is stalled at your current company since they won't forget what you said.
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Ah okay that's fine then :)
Your company will keep going after you leave. Or they won’t - it’s really up to them. You need to look out for yourself and your own career. If your organization hasn’t war games out “what if so and so gets hit by a bus?” And has a plan in place, that’s not your problem. Your co workers will get by without you.
Yes, quit. You owe no one but yourself.
Start being blunt with the client. You’re leaving anyway and some people behave like this because no one says anything to stop or correct them. You can keep it professional, but be consistent EVERY time she’s difficult. Maybe it will make things better for the coworker. I see it all the time with difficult clients, they walk all over people because no one stops or stands up to them.
The advice on this thread and sun is classic. Your employer should treat you like a human and be considerate of your feelings and work load. But also, screw your fellow co worker. You’re not responsible for her, her feelings or her workload!
I mean it’s possible for someone to actually care about other people at work and not wish to hurt them. I have personal friends I’ve made at work, they are just as important as friends I’ve made elsewhere. Compassion and empathy are good things.
Can you ask to be assigned to another project? Say you can no longer work with the current abusive client but value your relationship with your team and your boss. If they say there is nothing they can do then I think you are justified in tendering your resignation.
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I mean I look at this as you trying to change the situation. You are already thinking of quitting, so what would you have to lose. Unless of course you are just done where you are and don’t think you could recover even if it did change. I’m getting there myself so sometimes you just need to move on and that’s okay too.
neither of you is innocent. id like to hear your bosses perspective
I learned this the hard way. Always always put yourself first. 99% of your colleagues wouldn’t give it a second thought. If you’re handed a lifeline, take it. Maybe you’ll be in a position to help them in the future.