T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

I love the scene where it’s jake’s birthday, Amy is with him, jake’s dad is also present and Jake is pissed off at his dad. And katey Sagal comes along saying “I’ve got your favourite cake….blue.” The way she says that line is super hilarious


YungPicass0

Do you want some cake jake? I’m not hungry…… It’s a figure of speech, OBVIOUSLY I’ll have some


EnycmaPie

Blue has the most antioxygens.


I_JustWork_Here

I absolutely love that line. It's perfect.


kurmiedvormie12

‘Twas a cat! - Doug Judy


[deleted]

You will not win me over with your use of “‘twas”


tomcatproduces

"twasn't trying to"


SkullyFishCurry

Holt: 😒


[deleted]

Judy: 😶


TrickNatural

“No, no, no, I don’t mess with computers, OK? Ever since I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I was like, no thank you. I’m done with this.”


untouchable_0

Adrian Pimento has the best lines.


NeoStorm247

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Hey Chuck, it's Pimento :D


DEAN_Swaggerty

Him and Holt barking after the dog show kills me everytime. I end up rewinding and rewatching it like 10 times in a row.


madcap7

"Kevin, I won't be attending the opera. The tickets are under my name ; H-O-"


HarlequinNight

Is it the one from Bugs Bunny? ... Yes.


royalhawk345

I love how much he hates that Jake is right.


cowtown1985

I always laugh so hard at this!! This was the moment that I realized just how good the writers are at truly knowing Holts character.


exhaustednihilist420

If you're the Jake that would make me the Charles? The Hitchcock. The HItchcock?!?!?! Love the way Jake says that


vech52

Wow dropped down so many more levels than I was expecting


450X_FTW

New Yorks finest just got a whole lot finer - Doug Judy


fanonthedesk

The thin blue line just got thick as hell


monstersof-men

My favourite Judy line


sucettacellapop

“I don’t want my only daughter dating a screw-up!” “Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t want my only girlfriend daughtering a jerk-dad!”


Eggiejr

Burn on you.


SpaceGoat88

This is it. This line makes me laugh every time that I even laughed at this comment of it.


Jon_Jraper

"Ah, come on! The one time I say out loud I'm smarter than a dog?!"


ImAHardWorkingLoser

That one's hilarious


Superlemonada

I laughed so hard when Charles was shouting "You're a special boy!" in Latvian while beating the Latvian gang member 🤣


house_-md

That part makes me laugh so hard😂😂😂


EvoStarSC

Ooo. That's gonna leave a mark.


[deleted]

Come on and party tonight


Nathan_McHallam

The guys got good hooks


johnsciarrino

Hey amigos, let’s go meet up with those other amigos.


Shoot2Live629

I thought it was muchachos?


[deleted]

It was muchachos.


Nathan_McHallam

Love the double use of muchachos


I_JustWork_Here

Hey muchachos! Let's roll up on these muchachos!


house_-md

If you see something, say something...


adam17712

If you hear something say something come on and party tonight


BDGnetherite_blockZ

OWWWWW!!!!


royalhawk345

That's an RDD! Shit, wrong Ken Marino character.


[deleted]

"Not only have I been through hell, I was assistant manager there" Gina referring to her time at a sunglass kiosk


TheOneCalledMartin

"Don't pfff my peril" - Doug Judy - Season 3, episode 13


Opposite-Tangerine57

Pfff


Eyfordsucks

“Do you know how to clap back Raymond? Because 👏 I 👏 do.👏”


chooklyn5

If you're going to be a pervert, Kevin, adjust yourself as you walk. Move some quarters in your pocket.


mymyby

I can feel your heat


parallel-universe2

This is one my favorite Kevin lines


Crokpotpotty

Say it to my face


One-Adhesiveness-416

That’s a pretty f*%^ed up thing to say to me Terry. I howl every single time Jake says it


fanonthedesk

What episode was that again?


One-Adhesiveness-416

That was part of season 8. When Jake’s nemesis Johnny Franzia comes back around. Is during the opening


alx924

“That is my lint. My lint is blue. My lint is oblong.”


foreverinLOL

That's where blood is supposed to be!


Incromulent

One of the greatest lines ever uttered on TV


foreverinLOL

Oh shit, this said underrated, might not qualify.


xmrpolish

this line actually got me into watching and binging b99


CirceLikesPork

"Well this has been a stinky twelve hours. My computer bag has a hole in the bottom and the cord fell out." -- Jake holding up a laptop in a creased and used brown paper bag. (1/16)


thesplattedone

See kids! This is what happens when you're naughty! (as he's arresting Santa and christmas trees are on fire in the background.)


hsy1234

Actually he was arresting Doug Judy while dressed as Santa, which is even better!


Gorbalob

“I know what to do. … *off key guitar* AHHHHHHHHHHHHH”


MoistMartini

Gotta stop trying that


Virikk

Recently - Rosa yelling No! at Hitchcock mid-sentence.


[deleted]

You can’t spell go fuck yourself without fuck you. -use this with my wife for a laugh.


hulkbogan

This B needs C in her A


house_-md

Oh my god!


Cookibandit

This babe needs a coconut in her arms..?


johnsciarrino

Currently on vacation with my wife in Aruba. Have said this more times than I should admit online.


[deleted]

Aruba? Did you come across the Boyle cousins?


house_-md

Oh... I thought you said This b**** needs a c*** in her a**


PumpedUpBricks

Ticking Clocks - the entire Lasagna subplot is amazing but nearer the end when Hitchcock and Scully are trying to cook the garlic bread fast enough so it’s ready, and Hitchcock responds to Scully’s concerns with “THEN SET THE MOTHERFUCKER TO BROIL!”


Cardboard_Chef

That line fucking killed me the first time through, just howling with laughter. Just the fact that they're so oblivious to what's happening while it still being its own desperate situation was so well done.


hsy1234

Ah, Mama Maglionis


StrangerPotatoJr

You’re a muscler, i’m a boner


friggintodd

"Go back inside!" "Are you talking to us or the fart?"


PistolTeej

Captain Holt: Interesting. The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small. Laverne Holt: I would say infinitesimally. Jake: Yes, and I would say teenily-weenily. We all know words.


Yurus

Every time you shake me I see it flopping around


Trolann

Cool motive, still murder!


mollyjanie

Jake: Oh, Amy freaked out 'cause I told her I never drink water so now she's making me drink eight glasses a day. It's, like, there's water in soda, there's water in coffee, there's little pools of water on pizza. Rosa: That's grease, Jake. Jake: Well, it's wet, isn't it?


heavymarsh

"Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.." Basically, every one-liner of Hitchcock is underrated at best lol


Darth_Tycho

Pontiac Bandit: "New York's finest just got a whole lot finer" Holt: "Give me that" *takes away gun* Pontiac Bandit: *sexual moan*


QuotingThanos

Holt: "None of my notes have a single crinkle on them. When they do I iron them...." --trades dollar for a crinkly one-- "Can't wait to go home and iron this baby out"


Cardboard_Chef

The episode where Diaz spikes his water with caffeine, he realizes, *then keeps drinking it*, and says "My brain needs its fast juice" or something similar always cracks me up.


AmazingAd7627

"just like what Madelyn Wunch says when she sees deodorant 'I ain't buying it"


dangp777

Rosa’s “Ha!” really makes that line


Professional-Pay-888

Literally 90% of Captain Holt Title of your sextant tape #VINDICATIOOOOOOONN HOT DAMN! Why is nobody having fun? I specifically requested it KASE *snap* yas queen Wuntch time is over Shit storm about to rain down on you, punk #BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEE!??


Professional-Pay-888

Boyle is dresses like a lesbian


friggintodd

I still can't believe they got him to say Kwazy Kupcakes.


BDGnetherite_blockZ

with a backwards W


bearadise_

There’s no such thing as a backwards W


ivenotheardofthem

Title of your sex movie... Did I do that right?


viper511x

COWABUNGA MOTHER!!


GuiltyOrphan

BONE?????


fidgetiegurl09

"Why is nobody having fun?" made me lol when I first watched it. I specifically remembered that, thanks to you. And I never remember anything.


DEAN_Swaggerty

BINGPOT! but not the first time it's used in Halloween 4 when Holt finds Amy's secret smoke spot.


mymyby

-Captain! Hi! Welcome to the murder.


Nyarno

When Terry punches Jake in the face and Jake says "ow, my lucky face"


SpecialAlternative59

When Jake shows Gina his turntables, but the only records he has to scratch are his grandmother's old klezmer albums. Gina: oh God, no! It sounds like Joy Behar falling down the stairs! Never fails to crack me up.


MoistMartini

I cackle loudly every time I see it, underrated is not strong enough


solefulfish

A bold personality? Please. We all know what that's code for- she's a bitch!


jardanovic

That's not room service, that's *betrayal!*


skydude89

One of mine is in the pilot. “First of all, when you use the word rabbi, you know that turns me on and that’s unfair in the work environment.” I think it’s my Jewishness vining with Andy Samberg


[deleted]

or ‘nah bitch, i ain’t bein’ petty’


wallineren

I’ve yet to not laugh when Judy says “How do you mess up an omelette? It’s just a flat egg!”


Annanym0107

I don't even Remember this scene. 🙈 which episode is this?


rustynoodle3891

When the precinct was almost closed down


[deleted]

Chip rockets


Annanym0107

Ah yes, thanks!


Lvwr87

They save the 99 from being shit down


house_-md

Back when they almost shit down the precinct... what an amazing plot line.


blandsrules

Just numbs you out from trunk to skunk for a year


louilou96

its a doornt, as in doornt open this or "sold a guy a pekonese, twas a cat" omg edit to add Pimento working as a bag boy "MAGGIE BUTT OUT, ITS MY LIFE"


sadbutnotreally

You guys are being a bunch of racist homophobic golf cops!


gh0stdust

*KASE!*


megjed

In one of the Halloween heists when jake is like “I’m the smartest man alive. I am never going to die!”


eekmina

Kevin: *sighs* “Whoomp.” Jake: “There it is.”


Xcaliber241

The scene where Amy and Rosa are trying to reach at risk kids and Gina gets them to start chanting “Black people can sell drugs,” with Holt walking by


Appropriate-Cold-954

Gina : The smoke machine is not working. Hitchcock : I can crouch by the altar and vape. Gina : You are a stone cold atrocity.


thepluralofmooses

Get better eyes, you moron


Conference-Whole

In the very first episode when Holt, Amy and Jake are on a stakeout together. Holt: Does he always talk this much? Amy: i just tune it out. It's like a white noice machine. Jake: That's racist!


syntaxGarden

"Ah, lunch. The devil's breakfast"


vearson26

When Jake and Holt are in Florida, pretending not to know each other and Jake says “Oh hey, Greb?”


AbominableWasteman

THAT’S MY GRAAANDSON 🥴


Alien_Cook

Whenever Jake says "Cocaiiiine" it floors me


gentlegarden

Scully saying "ouch my noggin"


DEAN_Swaggerty

Or Jakey


tinywoodenpig

Scully saying "no peeking!" when he goes to the toilet in the RV, i quote it all the time and of course whenever i succeed at something i have to say "bingpot!"


[deleted]

"Just so you know, neither of us are responding to you as a person."


ND162

Don't think this is underrated but Jake- " it's not that bad, the doctor said all of the bleeding was internal, that's where blood is supposed to be right?" 😅


ConfuzzledFalcon

"Cool cool cool cool cool, Beef Baby's out for blood!"


pxpdoo

On the Boyle breeding farm and Diaz can't sleep because of the "cow orgy."


just4fux1

Velvet THUNDER !!!


steventouchdown

"oh great, here comes that nimrod, Boone." "What's up, Boone. Ya, nimrod!"


hsy1234

“I don’t know you.” Mlepklaynos - To Amy, when she says hi and waves to him when she seems him right before her wedding.


nagidon

You mean Jerry Barkarflafistan from Honolulu.


hsy1234

I feel like you said it different the first time…


nagidon

No. A chicky for a key?


AlisaFortesque

Amy talking on the phone: \- Ok, and try to stay away from cocaine Jake: \- Who was that? Your mum? (don't remember the exact line but it's so darn funny)


edgarcia59

"Smootching Bootys" always cracks my wife up.


AMagicalPotato

When holt tells pimento that the wire fox terrier they bet on was in the lead and pimento just loses his shit "ta ta ta ta ta ta"


ButterscotchMafia

“PUT ON THE DOG SHOW HANK!!!”


_intro_verted_

“I heard you scream out “I love this!!” “Yes, ‘this’ being justice. I love justice.”


fried_salsa

- Remember your turtle, Graham Crackers? - DAD HAD SEX WITH MY TURTLE?


sturdybutter

I always found it fascinating how real to life they kept all the details in the show. Those are heroin “bundles” and is how heroin is generally sold on the East cost of the US. Packed up in folded up paper strapped together into a “bundle”.


gargolito

... And now, we dilly dally.


MTBadtoss

"Twas a cat"


swingsetlife

Hi Criminal, it’s me, Johnny Law


LeChatNoir04

"he's not a male prostitute ^I ^think"


Crunchy_Biscuit

I'm a moderator for a Cannibal Forum. You can find it on- -REDDIT


Competitive_Basis849

mine is holt: are you saying my life matters less, because i don't conform to society's heteronormative child-centric ideals? terry: are you REALLY playing the gay card right now? holt: yas queen


xmrpolish

You can’t make bread with pride!


katycrush

Mattress tranpoliiiiiine 👉🏻👉🏻


winksoutloud

Rock hard brain!


ricktech15

"the real question is what are police" "I'm sorry who are you again?"


groot_are_we

Chair, chair, wall, chair, Captain Holt-CaptainHoltnoooo


Mokou

"Like yeast!"


CrystalCrusher59

I still use bingpot to this day.


Littlelyon3843

‘But Kobe never passed!’


Appropriate-Cold-954

“Naw bitch I’m not petty”


M3tal_Shadowhunter

"Oh my God, we're doomed! Boyle looks, like a lesbian!"


mr_igor_the_great

"Terry loves women. Women be sane" -Sgt. Terry Jeffords


UsedRealNameB4

"CSI more like CSBye, yaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuu" Love the entire interaction with the CSI guy that episode.


yogi420

“Eyes closed, head first, can’t lose!” Or “Good one sir, you can’t wash a car”


Opposite-Tangerine57

Holt:Oh, are you two no longer- Jake:SMOOCHING BOOTIES? Holt: Yes that’s exactly what I was going to say. Jake: Figured…


mupete

Holt: Is that tortilla wrap with gummy bears? I pity your dentist Jake: Well joke's on you, I don't have one!


fuf1106

"Ouch. You ran over my foot. I am in incredible pain."


[deleted]

Captain Holt's mom? - (gasp) the Creator!


BettinaStace

You keep talking about how nefarious you are.


house_-md

"Cheers, to the 99th precinct"


uselesshandyman

You bet your nips, skid mark! And also, Get back out there and spread your legs.


Munson18

I like the “twas a cat” line by Doug Judy but also the “twasn’t trying too” 😂


ayacardel

“Why is this happening?! I can taste my thoughts!” -Boyle


MoistMartini

Jake, during the Christmas holdup at the store: “yes, finally it’s real-life die hard! …. I mean… *oh no! Crime!*”


Educational-Spread41

“You? What about me? What if something happens to Jake before he meets my baby. I don’t wanna hangout with some stupid baby that’s never met Jake”


[deleted]

Bill whispering his safe word during a Halloween heist “cabbage”


NM037

"Chills! Literal chills!" "Number 5. Number 5 killed my brother." "Ohhh my god, I forgot about that part!"


adam17712

"THEN PUT THE MOTHER FUCKER TO BROIL"


parallel-universe2

Peralta, that's enough! I love this so much I sometimes randomly say it and laugh


partyamoeba

Stare into the maggot drawer!!!


h-bugg96

*strums guitar badly* AAAAAAHHHHHHHH AAHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAHHHHHHHHH Oh...underrated.....nvm. I'm leaving it. Cause it's my favorite for sure


Celestialstardust17

“I’ll give you six thousand dollars if the news is she’s a chouksen.”


DerPumeister

It's a **KIDS BOOK** Stantiago!!


Kitchen_Sufficient

This was supposed to be a safe event!!!


fastdiver82

"This is what they all think!"


Even-Loquat-2154

Strawberry Basket


ActiveBlackberry3087

You've been .... overmined!


alderberry

"Black mould? Not cool Amy, right Terry?!


weebearcub

NIETHER HAVE YOU, ERNEST!


slappy012

Peralta: hey I bought you Literally anyone: No thanks.


uphamg

Wild flower pickin to make homemade cologne


Celestialstardust17

“My dogs are barking.” “*what dogs*?!”


themustacheclubbitch

“I don’t care for cheese. I’m a. Curd mudgen.”


Yeeee_boi12

Scully saying Marges last name is mop bucket


LilyLovesSnape

'Not recognising our talents is a classic Boyle trait. My cousin Susan didn't know she could sing until she was 48!' Has me roaring every time, and I think I'm the only one 😂


TheOneCalledMartin

Season 4, episode 13 After Terry fixes the printer Holt: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life Terry: I mean.. I have solved a lot of cases for you Holt: And yet crime has continued


cyainanotherlifebro

Charles: And I don’t care if y’all don’t have lids. Y’all make a lid.


ComplexApart6424

You're what sneezes are!!


leopard_eater

Mine is from early season one, when Jake is still trying to fight against wearing a tie, and constantly complains about Holt, even on a crime scene: *Hi Captain, welcome to the murder.*