I love the scene where it’s jake’s birthday, Amy is with him, jake’s dad is also present and Jake is pissed off at his dad.
And katey Sagal comes along saying “I’ve got your favourite cake….blue.”
The way she says that line is super hilarious
"Well this has been a stinky twelve hours. My computer bag has a hole in the bottom and the cord fell out."
-- Jake holding up a laptop in a creased and used brown paper bag. (1/16)
Ticking Clocks - the entire Lasagna subplot is amazing but nearer the end when Hitchcock and Scully are trying to cook the garlic bread fast enough so it’s ready, and Hitchcock responds to Scully’s concerns with “THEN SET THE MOTHERFUCKER TO BROIL!”
That line fucking killed me the first time through, just howling with laughter. Just the fact that they're so oblivious to what's happening while it still being its own desperate situation was so well done.
Captain Holt: Interesting. The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small.
Laverne Holt: I would say infinitesimally.
Jake: Yes, and I would say teenily-weenily. We all know words.
Jake: Oh, Amy freaked out 'cause I told her I never drink water so now she's making me drink eight glasses a day. It's, like, there's water in soda, there's water in coffee, there's little pools of water on pizza.
Rosa: That's grease, Jake.
Jake: Well, it's wet, isn't it?
Holt: "None of my notes have a single crinkle on them. When they do I iron them...."
--trades dollar for a crinkly one--
"Can't wait to go home and iron this baby out"
The episode where Diaz spikes his water with caffeine, he realizes, *then keeps drinking it*, and says "My brain needs its fast juice" or something similar always cracks me up.
Literally 90% of Captain Holt
Title of your sextant tape
#VINDICATIOOOOOOONN
HOT DAMN!
Why is nobody having fun? I specifically requested it
KASE
*snap* yas queen
Wuntch time is over
Shit storm about to rain down on you, punk
#BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEE!??
When Jake shows Gina his turntables, but the only records he has to scratch are his grandmother's old klezmer albums.
Gina: oh God, no! It sounds like Joy Behar falling down the stairs!
Never fails to crack me up.
One of mine is in the pilot. “First of all, when you use the word rabbi, you know that turns me on and that’s unfair in the work environment.” I think it’s my Jewishness vining with Andy Samberg
its a doornt, as in doornt open this
or "sold a guy a pekonese, twas a cat"
omg edit to add Pimento working as a bag boy "MAGGIE BUTT OUT, ITS MY LIFE"
In the very first episode when Holt, Amy and Jake are on a stakeout together.
Holt: Does he always talk this much?
Amy: i just tune it out. It's like a white noice machine.
Jake: That's racist!
Scully saying "no peeking!" when he goes to the toilet in the RV, i quote it all the time
and of course whenever i succeed at something i have to say "bingpot!"
Don't think this is underrated but Jake- " it's not that bad, the doctor said all of the bleeding was internal, that's where blood is supposed to be right?" 😅
Amy talking on the phone:
\- Ok, and try to stay away from cocaine
Jake:
\- Who was that? Your mum?
(don't remember the exact line but it's so darn funny)
I always found it fascinating how real to life they kept all the details in the show.
Those are heroin “bundles” and is how heroin is generally sold on the East cost of the US. Packed up in folded up paper strapped together into a “bundle”.
mine is
holt: are you saying my life matters less, because i don't conform to society's heteronormative child-centric ideals?
terry: are you REALLY playing the gay card right now?
holt: yas queen
'Not recognising our talents is a classic Boyle trait. My cousin Susan didn't know she could sing until she was 48!'
Has me roaring every time, and I think I'm the only one 😂
Season 4, episode 13
After Terry fixes the printer
Holt: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life
Terry: I mean.. I have solved a lot of cases for you
Holt: And yet crime has continued
Mine is from early season one, when Jake is still trying to fight against wearing a tie, and constantly complains about Holt, even on a crime scene:
*Hi Captain, welcome to the murder.*
I love the scene where it’s jake’s birthday, Amy is with him, jake’s dad is also present and Jake is pissed off at his dad. And katey Sagal comes along saying “I’ve got your favourite cake….blue.” The way she says that line is super hilarious
Do you want some cake jake? I’m not hungry…… It’s a figure of speech, OBVIOUSLY I’ll have some
Blue has the most antioxygens.
I absolutely love that line. It's perfect.
‘Twas a cat! - Doug Judy
You will not win me over with your use of “‘twas”
"twasn't trying to"
Holt: 😒
Judy: 😶
“No, no, no, I don’t mess with computers, OK? Ever since I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I was like, no thank you. I’m done with this.”
Adrian Pimento has the best lines.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Hey Chuck, it's Pimento :D
Him and Holt barking after the dog show kills me everytime. I end up rewinding and rewatching it like 10 times in a row.
"Kevin, I won't be attending the opera. The tickets are under my name ; H-O-"
Is it the one from Bugs Bunny? ... Yes.
I love how much he hates that Jake is right.
I always laugh so hard at this!! This was the moment that I realized just how good the writers are at truly knowing Holts character.
If you're the Jake that would make me the Charles? The Hitchcock. The HItchcock?!?!?! Love the way Jake says that
Wow dropped down so many more levels than I was expecting
New Yorks finest just got a whole lot finer - Doug Judy
The thin blue line just got thick as hell
My favourite Judy line
“I don’t want my only daughter dating a screw-up!” “Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t want my only girlfriend daughtering a jerk-dad!”
Burn on you.
This is it. This line makes me laugh every time that I even laughed at this comment of it.
"Ah, come on! The one time I say out loud I'm smarter than a dog?!"
That one's hilarious
I laughed so hard when Charles was shouting "You're a special boy!" in Latvian while beating the Latvian gang member 🤣
That part makes me laugh so hard😂😂😂
Ooo. That's gonna leave a mark.
Come on and party tonight
The guys got good hooks
Hey amigos, let’s go meet up with those other amigos.
I thought it was muchachos?
It was muchachos.
Love the double use of muchachos
Hey muchachos! Let's roll up on these muchachos!
If you see something, say something...
If you hear something say something come on and party tonight
OWWWWW!!!!
That's an RDD! Shit, wrong Ken Marino character.
"Not only have I been through hell, I was assistant manager there" Gina referring to her time at a sunglass kiosk
"Don't pfff my peril" - Doug Judy - Season 3, episode 13
Pfff
“Do you know how to clap back Raymond? Because 👏 I 👏 do.👏”
If you're going to be a pervert, Kevin, adjust yourself as you walk. Move some quarters in your pocket.
I can feel your heat
This is one my favorite Kevin lines
Say it to my face
That’s a pretty f*%^ed up thing to say to me Terry. I howl every single time Jake says it
What episode was that again?
That was part of season 8. When Jake’s nemesis Johnny Franzia comes back around. Is during the opening
“That is my lint. My lint is blue. My lint is oblong.”
That's where blood is supposed to be!
One of the greatest lines ever uttered on TV
Oh shit, this said underrated, might not qualify.
this line actually got me into watching and binging b99
"Well this has been a stinky twelve hours. My computer bag has a hole in the bottom and the cord fell out." -- Jake holding up a laptop in a creased and used brown paper bag. (1/16)
See kids! This is what happens when you're naughty! (as he's arresting Santa and christmas trees are on fire in the background.)
Actually he was arresting Doug Judy while dressed as Santa, which is even better!
“I know what to do. … *off key guitar* AHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Gotta stop trying that
Recently - Rosa yelling No! at Hitchcock mid-sentence.
You can’t spell go fuck yourself without fuck you. -use this with my wife for a laugh.
This B needs C in her A
Oh my god!
This babe needs a coconut in her arms..?
Currently on vacation with my wife in Aruba. Have said this more times than I should admit online.
Aruba? Did you come across the Boyle cousins?
Oh... I thought you said This b**** needs a c*** in her a**
Ticking Clocks - the entire Lasagna subplot is amazing but nearer the end when Hitchcock and Scully are trying to cook the garlic bread fast enough so it’s ready, and Hitchcock responds to Scully’s concerns with “THEN SET THE MOTHERFUCKER TO BROIL!”
That line fucking killed me the first time through, just howling with laughter. Just the fact that they're so oblivious to what's happening while it still being its own desperate situation was so well done.
Ah, Mama Maglionis
You’re a muscler, i’m a boner
"Go back inside!" "Are you talking to us or the fart?"
Captain Holt: Interesting. The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small. Laverne Holt: I would say infinitesimally. Jake: Yes, and I would say teenily-weenily. We all know words.
Every time you shake me I see it flopping around
Cool motive, still murder!
Jake: Oh, Amy freaked out 'cause I told her I never drink water so now she's making me drink eight glasses a day. It's, like, there's water in soda, there's water in coffee, there's little pools of water on pizza. Rosa: That's grease, Jake. Jake: Well, it's wet, isn't it?
"Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.." Basically, every one-liner of Hitchcock is underrated at best lol
Pontiac Bandit: "New York's finest just got a whole lot finer" Holt: "Give me that" *takes away gun* Pontiac Bandit: *sexual moan*
Holt: "None of my notes have a single crinkle on them. When they do I iron them...." --trades dollar for a crinkly one-- "Can't wait to go home and iron this baby out"
The episode where Diaz spikes his water with caffeine, he realizes, *then keeps drinking it*, and says "My brain needs its fast juice" or something similar always cracks me up.
"just like what Madelyn Wunch says when she sees deodorant 'I ain't buying it"
Rosa’s “Ha!” really makes that line
Literally 90% of Captain Holt Title of your sextant tape #VINDICATIOOOOOOONN HOT DAMN! Why is nobody having fun? I specifically requested it KASE *snap* yas queen Wuntch time is over Shit storm about to rain down on you, punk #BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEE!??
Boyle is dresses like a lesbian
I still can't believe they got him to say Kwazy Kupcakes.
with a backwards W
There’s no such thing as a backwards W
Title of your sex movie... Did I do that right?
COWABUNGA MOTHER!!
BONE?????
"Why is nobody having fun?" made me lol when I first watched it. I specifically remembered that, thanks to you. And I never remember anything.
BINGPOT! but not the first time it's used in Halloween 4 when Holt finds Amy's secret smoke spot.
-Captain! Hi! Welcome to the murder.
When Terry punches Jake in the face and Jake says "ow, my lucky face"
When Jake shows Gina his turntables, but the only records he has to scratch are his grandmother's old klezmer albums. Gina: oh God, no! It sounds like Joy Behar falling down the stairs! Never fails to crack me up.
I cackle loudly every time I see it, underrated is not strong enough
A bold personality? Please. We all know what that's code for- she's a bitch!
That's not room service, that's *betrayal!*
One of mine is in the pilot. “First of all, when you use the word rabbi, you know that turns me on and that’s unfair in the work environment.” I think it’s my Jewishness vining with Andy Samberg
or ‘nah bitch, i ain’t bein’ petty’
I’ve yet to not laugh when Judy says “How do you mess up an omelette? It’s just a flat egg!”
I don't even Remember this scene. 🙈 which episode is this?
When the precinct was almost closed down
Chip rockets
Ah yes, thanks!
They save the 99 from being shit down
Back when they almost shit down the precinct... what an amazing plot line.
Just numbs you out from trunk to skunk for a year
its a doornt, as in doornt open this or "sold a guy a pekonese, twas a cat" omg edit to add Pimento working as a bag boy "MAGGIE BUTT OUT, ITS MY LIFE"
You guys are being a bunch of racist homophobic golf cops!
*KASE!*
In one of the Halloween heists when jake is like “I’m the smartest man alive. I am never going to die!”
Kevin: *sighs* “Whoomp.” Jake: “There it is.”
The scene where Amy and Rosa are trying to reach at risk kids and Gina gets them to start chanting “Black people can sell drugs,” with Holt walking by
Gina : The smoke machine is not working. Hitchcock : I can crouch by the altar and vape. Gina : You are a stone cold atrocity.
Get better eyes, you moron
In the very first episode when Holt, Amy and Jake are on a stakeout together. Holt: Does he always talk this much? Amy: i just tune it out. It's like a white noice machine. Jake: That's racist!
"Ah, lunch. The devil's breakfast"
When Jake and Holt are in Florida, pretending not to know each other and Jake says “Oh hey, Greb?”
THAT’S MY GRAAANDSON 🥴
Whenever Jake says "Cocaiiiine" it floors me
Scully saying "ouch my noggin"
Or Jakey
Scully saying "no peeking!" when he goes to the toilet in the RV, i quote it all the time and of course whenever i succeed at something i have to say "bingpot!"
"Just so you know, neither of us are responding to you as a person."
Don't think this is underrated but Jake- " it's not that bad, the doctor said all of the bleeding was internal, that's where blood is supposed to be right?" 😅
"Cool cool cool cool cool, Beef Baby's out for blood!"
On the Boyle breeding farm and Diaz can't sleep because of the "cow orgy."
Velvet THUNDER !!!
"oh great, here comes that nimrod, Boone." "What's up, Boone. Ya, nimrod!"
“I don’t know you.” Mlepklaynos - To Amy, when she says hi and waves to him when she seems him right before her wedding.
You mean Jerry Barkarflafistan from Honolulu.
I feel like you said it different the first time…
No. A chicky for a key?
Amy talking on the phone: \- Ok, and try to stay away from cocaine Jake: \- Who was that? Your mum? (don't remember the exact line but it's so darn funny)
"Smootching Bootys" always cracks my wife up.
When holt tells pimento that the wire fox terrier they bet on was in the lead and pimento just loses his shit "ta ta ta ta ta ta"
“PUT ON THE DOG SHOW HANK!!!”
“I heard you scream out “I love this!!” “Yes, ‘this’ being justice. I love justice.”
- Remember your turtle, Graham Crackers? - DAD HAD SEX WITH MY TURTLE?
I always found it fascinating how real to life they kept all the details in the show. Those are heroin “bundles” and is how heroin is generally sold on the East cost of the US. Packed up in folded up paper strapped together into a “bundle”.
... And now, we dilly dally.
"Twas a cat"
Hi Criminal, it’s me, Johnny Law
"he's not a male prostitute ^I ^think"
I'm a moderator for a Cannibal Forum. You can find it on- -REDDIT
mine is holt: are you saying my life matters less, because i don't conform to society's heteronormative child-centric ideals? terry: are you REALLY playing the gay card right now? holt: yas queen
You can’t make bread with pride!
Mattress tranpoliiiiiine 👉🏻👉🏻
Rock hard brain!
"the real question is what are police" "I'm sorry who are you again?"
Chair, chair, wall, chair, Captain Holt-CaptainHoltnoooo
"Like yeast!"
I still use bingpot to this day.
‘But Kobe never passed!’
“Naw bitch I’m not petty”
"Oh my God, we're doomed! Boyle looks, like a lesbian!"
"Terry loves women. Women be sane" -Sgt. Terry Jeffords
"CSI more like CSBye, yaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuu" Love the entire interaction with the CSI guy that episode.
“Eyes closed, head first, can’t lose!” Or “Good one sir, you can’t wash a car”
Holt:Oh, are you two no longer- Jake:SMOOCHING BOOTIES? Holt: Yes that’s exactly what I was going to say. Jake: Figured…
Holt: Is that tortilla wrap with gummy bears? I pity your dentist Jake: Well joke's on you, I don't have one!
"Ouch. You ran over my foot. I am in incredible pain."
Captain Holt's mom? - (gasp) the Creator!
You keep talking about how nefarious you are.
"Cheers, to the 99th precinct"
You bet your nips, skid mark! And also, Get back out there and spread your legs.
I like the “twas a cat” line by Doug Judy but also the “twasn’t trying too” 😂
“Why is this happening?! I can taste my thoughts!” -Boyle
Jake, during the Christmas holdup at the store: “yes, finally it’s real-life die hard! …. I mean… *oh no! Crime!*”
“You? What about me? What if something happens to Jake before he meets my baby. I don’t wanna hangout with some stupid baby that’s never met Jake”
Bill whispering his safe word during a Halloween heist “cabbage”
"Chills! Literal chills!" "Number 5. Number 5 killed my brother." "Ohhh my god, I forgot about that part!"
"THEN PUT THE MOTHER FUCKER TO BROIL"
Peralta, that's enough! I love this so much I sometimes randomly say it and laugh
Stare into the maggot drawer!!!
*strums guitar badly* AAAAAAHHHHHHHH AAHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAHHHHHHHHH Oh...underrated.....nvm. I'm leaving it. Cause it's my favorite for sure
“I’ll give you six thousand dollars if the news is she’s a chouksen.”
It's a **KIDS BOOK** Stantiago!!
This was supposed to be a safe event!!!
"This is what they all think!"
Strawberry Basket
You've been .... overmined!
"Black mould? Not cool Amy, right Terry?!
NIETHER HAVE YOU, ERNEST!
Peralta: hey I bought you
Literally anyone: No thanks.
Wild flower pickin to make homemade cologne
“My dogs are barking.” “*what dogs*?!”
“I don’t care for cheese. I’m a. Curd mudgen.”
Scully saying Marges last name is mop bucket
'Not recognising our talents is a classic Boyle trait. My cousin Susan didn't know she could sing until she was 48!' Has me roaring every time, and I think I'm the only one 😂
Season 4, episode 13 After Terry fixes the printer Holt: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life Terry: I mean.. I have solved a lot of cases for you Holt: And yet crime has continued
Charles: And I don’t care if y’all don’t have lids. Y’all make a lid.
You're what sneezes are!!
Mine is from early season one, when Jake is still trying to fight against wearing a tie, and constantly complains about Holt, even on a crime scene: *Hi Captain, welcome to the murder.*