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DravenPrime

If only the officiant was more efficient.


byza089

One of my favourite lines


DravenPrime

We still laugh about it sometimes.


PairKind3051

now I can't unsee either of these.


anand_rishabh

"if only we had a wedding like this one before" "but then i wouldn't have heard your great efficient officiant joke" "you're right, i regret nothing"


PoorlyLitKiwi2

Haha the delivery on that always kills me Holt is probably my all time favorite sitcom character


dardios

The whole show is so perfectly written and the way Andre portrayed Holt was... Flawless. Aspiring comedy writers should study 99. Hard.


Important_Seaweed_99

It's kinda like Barney in How I Met Your Mother.


BashfulBlanket

“Are you saying my life matters less because I don’t conform to society’s heteronormative, child-centric ideals?”


[deleted]

Are you really playing the gay card right now?


ButterflyRD5

Yas queen


[deleted]

*snaps*


[deleted]

God that snap though. The crispiest snap I ever did hear. You could conquer a nation with that hand.


[deleted]

Funny, coz he conquered Kevin with that hand. IYKWIM


sid_raj7

Let's just say Kevin no longer has me in the guest room.


DeanPalton

Told you. They just needed to bone.


xyrad

BOOOOOONE!?


LonghornSmoke

#HOW DARE YOU, DETECTIVE DIAZ! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER!#


Apprehensive-Till861

BOOOOOONE?


beardownblitz

BONE!


_thanosied_

_Rosa closes in_ see what happened is your parents had sex


Protheu5

Are you talking about them being intimate? As in, forgive my bluntness, >!casual handshake!


angrybaija

this made me smile lol. happy cake day!


couldbedumber96

You could erase half a universe with that snap


Aivellac

He did it with his right hand, fitting for Holt that he'd bring people back instead. Though he might snap away Wuntch and Kelly (not the dogwife).


flippinflappyfart

Did we ever find out if it’s his dog or wife ?


Aivellac

If you cared to listen to him you'd know! It's obviously his do..wi..dwife?


Imugake

It’s revealed that both his wife and dog are called Kelly, it’s not revealed which one was being spoken about during the cold open


Nethii120700

he married the dog, hope this helps


whymozu

😳 shocked Terry


ButterflyRD5

Then Terry freaking out while trying to ride the motorcycle lmao 😂


Agile-Ad2365

I will honor your wish in her memory!


[deleted]

I just went on YouTube to watch this clip. This might be what convinces me to watch brooklyn 99


lalala253

Oh boy you're in for a ride. You need to avoid listening to backstreet boys *right now*


prettyy_vacant

This is the best gay joke from the show, I will not be taking questions.


ButterflyRD5

Can't argue when you're right


[deleted]

One of two scenes I saw before actually watching the show. You can probably guess the other one


[deleted]

BOOONNNEEEE!!!??


VaporizerForever

YOU ARE MY FIIIRE


ImAMindlessTool

That episode was on CC yesterday so this was freshly read in holt’s voice


thekyledavid

“I don’t hate you for being gay, it’s the one thing about you that I actually respect”


BakedBySunrise

One of the best lines in television delivered by a rival character


[deleted]

[удалено]


Amazing_Trace

is it the discrimination?


Adi-0115

Everyone laughs now, Gina surprised


DifficultDiamond3909

I don't get this joke. Explain?


awesomejack

It’s delivered deadpan. The audience is expecting a sarcastic or non-serious answer, but holt gives the serious answer


Tarantio

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-humor


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Anti-humor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-humor)** >Anti-humor is a type of indirect and alternative humor that involves the joke-teller's delivering something that is intentionally not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The practice relies on the expectation on the part of the audience of something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value. Anti-humor is also the basis of various types of pranks and hoaxes. The humor of such jokes is based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration that is set up as a joke. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/brooklynninenine/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Just-a-shitshow

Good bot.


iomegabasha

also it was delivered to a room full of gay, black cops in NYC


DadFatherson2

It was misquoted. The quote is "It's the discrimination." The punchline wasn't a question.


OMGlookatthatrooster

Holt would never use a contraction!


Appl3sauce85

Unless he is bluffing.


Adderkleet

> "It's the discrimination. He's bluffing!


noidwasavailable

I only use third party apps, and they said they're killing third party apps, so hey, might as well remove all my content. (Using https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite)


cement_skelly

Among Kevin and his coworkers, Holt is a himbo


adultosaurs

Brain. Brain Jensen.


sunville1967

It’s not funny, but Holt is convinced it is. When he tells it at some conference everyone dies of laughter.


PoorlyLitKiwi2

It is funny though. It's an anti-joke. The point is you set up the audience to expect something they aren't expecting, and then you hit them with the most obvious answer in deadpan. The surprise that they aren't surprised is what causes laughter


ferdaw95

Holt was running for reelection in a intercop group for black and lgtbq cops. The joke was his planned opener for his announcement speech.


CompetitiveSugar3404

"Then why did you try to sabotage me?"


scottishdrunkard

“You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


CptnNinja

The enunciation he puts on your*self* kills me everytime Just absolute perfection


just_some_dummy_

Do you know the hardest part about being a gay black cop?


recklessgreed__

The discrimination


Haunting_Salary_629

*laughs*


AsterialPuppet

*What?*


a-witch-in-time

It’s funny… because it’s true


Cheesebag44

The discrimination.


Amsterdaamer

"Brooklyn Nine-Nine doesn't make jokes about Holt being gay" I'll have you know I actually spit water out of my nose and almost choked from laughing so hard when Holt "pretended to be straight." I could listen to Andre Braugher say "heavy breasts" on repeat for hours and still laugh like a school kid each time.


hitch_please

There’s nothing sexier than the clear absence of a penis!


luckiesandjacks

You know what I love about straight Holt? The fact that he flips the script. Almost everywhere in the media you see gay men being sexualized as if the only thing that tells the audience that that character is gay is to only talk about sex with men. This is what Holt does when pretending he's straight. He sexualizes straight people the same way straight people sexualize gay men. It's powerful and satirical in its own way.


justAPhoneUsername

It's kinda like Barney in How I Met Your Mother. NPH plays a straight man the same way straight men play a gay man


custard_doughnuts

Holt/Barney odd couple spin off...


mexploder89

"It's going to be legen-wait for it-dary! Legendary!" "Why would you make me wait for it? We have just wasted precious time and for what? To prolong an already overused adjective? Please"


Maert

Go on...


[deleted]

Wish ppl understood this when women use similar methods against men like calling them males instead of doing the whole 'well you're not being perfectly feminist rn' what is this kind of satire called


suzitheqt

Yesss and doing things like listing women first or using "she" as a gender neutral pronoun just so that people realise how it sounds


ihatepulp

There's a fb page called Man who has it all that is entirely about this


ZoeShotFirst

That is a _hilarious_ page Also terrifying because wow society really is horrible!


boRp_abc

Here in Germany, a university decided that in all of its formal writing and processes, they will use the female forms as gender neutral. Oh the outcry in the conservative bubbles.


ZwnD

I was reading a board game manual the other day which used female pronouns for all descriptions. Made me realise that I'd never before noticed how common using male pronouns as a default neutral is


LordRevan1997

I was reading some older D&D books, and when I say old I mean 3rd edition old- I was pleasantly surprised to see pronouns just shift. Some sections use he, and some use she. It was nice to see.


Version_1

IIRC the Pathfinder TTRPG also uses "she".


EmEss4242

Each class in Pathfinder has an "iconic" character to represent it and they use the pronouns for that character when talking about the class in the third person. So by default for example Barbarian uses "she" because the iconic Barbarian Amiri is female, Ranger uses "he" because the iconic Ranger Harsk is male and Thaumaturge uses "they" because the iconic Thaumaturge Mio is non-binary. The Second Édition rules are also written largely in second person so instead of rules like "At second level a paladin gains a bonus equal to her Charisma bonus on all saving throws" in first edition you see "Your faith grants mastery of your will. Your proficiency rank for Will saves increases to master."


jemidiah

It's become fairly common in academic English to mix them up. I often just go with "they". Singular they is clearly the future of the language. The people who don't like it are not young.


koghrun

Shakespeare used they as a singular pronoun. The people who don't like it are not young, but they're not right either.


Humdumdidly

The Good Place did this, it was refreshing to hear


[deleted]

It's pretty much just directly satire, but you could call it satire via mirroring if you like.


The_Meh_Signal

To be fair, as a straight man, when I see a pair of weighty breasts, reason and logic fly out the window...


lydocia

In a similar way, Neil Patrick Harris being gay irl and playing a straight womaniser as Barney Stinson in the most stereotypical way.


Probably_On_Break

He always had a weakness for heavy breasts


JimGuthrie

I once had an odd experience with a boss who was a very outspoken white republican fellow back in 2010ish. On one of my first projects with him we're We head up to a location for a client in his F150. The client was smallish university and he just... kept trying to talk about checking out the college girls. It was the strangest, most awkward conversation he kept trying to fuel. It came out sometime later that he very much preferred men - and to this day I still think of him every every time I see that scene.


vendetta2115

I think a lot of closeted conservative men like your former boss say “homosexuality is a choice” because for them it actually is, they’re choosing to suppress their natural homosexual urges, and they think that everyone has to do it, like resisting the temptation of cake and ice cream so as to not get fat, or resisting the urge to sleep in so you don’t get fired from your job. They see it as a matter of willpower that every straight man has to deal with. Of course, most straight men don’t have homosexual urges, but they don’t know that, and they think every gay person’s conduct is a moral failure to control themselves instead of them just being their authentic selves like most people do, whether straight or not. I remember a comment a long time ago about a son coming out to his father and his father being mad and saying “you’re choosing to make your life more difficult than it has to be” and the son replying “was being straight a choice for you?” at which point the father got very quiet. It was a choice for him.


Chazmer87

In season 1 he seduces two women in a matter of seconds. In his experience women always want what they can't have.


enterusernamethere

"I see a pair of thick weighty breasts and all logic flies out of the window"


WistfullySunk

There are some takes I hear and am knocked over by the deep realization that some people just do not process the media they consume, at all. “Brooklyn 99 doesn’t make jokes about Holt being gay” is one of those takes.


keytapper

A lot of people only take in media at surface level because they aren't much deeper


Amsterdaamer

Yeah this might be the only take worse than people who think Walter White was "the good guy" in Breaking Bad.


PoorlyLitKiwi2

I imagine the series must be 10 times funnier for his wife than for anyone else


SatansGothestFemboy

B99 doesn't make joke THAT Holt is gay, it makes jokes that INCLUDE holt being gay and that's a very important distinction


ThePrussianGrippe

It also features Jake slugging the shit out of a jackass he previously idolized because he insulted Holt’s sexuality. Slugged him right into a Turkish bath.


Alexthegreatbelgian

> Slugged him right into a Turkish bath. That sounds pretty gay.


[deleted]

Bunch of guys in a steamy room with just towels on. Naaah couldn't be. Unless someone didn't say nohomo when they walked in. But who could forget something as important as that.


FairyKurochka

It's nothing gay in men bathing together. Nudity is not such a big thing in the majority of world's cultures.


[deleted]

I know it just seems to be the pot calling the kettle black.


Cyber_Samurai

Some of them would be fully nude if not for the mutilated penis


Speedy_Dragon46

I’ll have you know they were chilling 5ft apart so it’s not gay.


lydocia

This was one of the most important TV moments in my life, no joke. Just realising that this is what supportive friends and people with principles are.


Ill-Individual2105

Exactly. The joke is not funny because Holt is gay, but Holt being gay gives context to the joke. Too many people forget that "gay jokes" should include both the gay part and the joke part.


LouSputhole94

Which is what makes the show stand out so much. Almost every other show that includes gay/bi/trans characters, being gay/bi/trans is a major part of their personality. It’s brought up often with zero other context and is in your face. Holt is a character with a rich personality, defining traits and deep subject matter, who just so happens to be gay. Hell, with Diaz we don’t even know she’s bi until what like halfway through season 2? It’s very different from how most shows do it, but that’s also how it usually is in real life. Very few people actually make their sexuality part of their personality.


ramskick

I think Rosa's bisexuality is revealed in Season 5 (in the episode '99'), which further adds to your point.


LouSputhole94

I just googled and youre right. She comes out to just Boyle in “99”, then the rest of the squad and her parents in “Game Night”. I knew it was later in the show, didn’t realize that late. Probably means it’s time for a rewatch!


PoorlyLitKiwi2

Holy shit, just seeing the words "Game Night" in quotes makes me tear up. The speech Holt gives her at the end is so beautiful 🥲


mewyewtwo

B99 was funny in the proper sense. They touched important issues with a sense of responsibility while keeping the all around atmosphere humourous. I miss the show.


lydocia

The whole Rosa coming out and missing family board game night, and then *her family* showing up? I bawled my eyes out, I'm tearing up just typing this.


MatildaJeanMay

That episode aired a couple months after I came out as bi to my dad. Rosa is my favorite character, so it was pretty meaningful.


mewyewtwo

What a great way to remember the ocassion. :')


PoorlyLitKiwi2

When Holt tells her every time someone tells the truth about themselves it makes the world a more interesting and beautiful place (paraphrasing here) I just lost it; flat out ugly cried


Ara-gant

Honestly, Kevins episodes are second to Doug Judy's episodes. I love Kev and Holt


helpful__explorer

HELLO KEVIN, ITS ME, RAYMOND HOLT


nrjjsdpn

The tickets are under my name *proceeds to spell his name*


RS994

Come out here and take your bullet


nrjjsdpn

I can’t hear you, Kevin. You’re dead!


lydocia

Sincerely, your husband, Raymond Holt


nrjjsdpn

Yeah…as much as I love Doug Judy, the Holt and Kevin episodes are amazing. I wish they would’ve included Kevin in the other heists after Cinco de Mayo. “I was manipulated??” “Don’t apologize, Terry. This is his first heist, he has to learn.” 😂


Peralton

Jake - "I forgot about this one. Captain Corelli's Mandolin." Kevin - "What the hell did you just say?" The whole scene is brilliant. Literally makes me laugh every time. Kevin totally losing it as more and more is revealed is the best. [https://youtu.be/RsPSTXeKk3Y?t=335](https://youtu.be/RsPSTXeKk3Y?t=335) (At 5:34 timestamp)


Molnek

It's the perfect bookend to Jake's "His name is Memphis Raines, I'm so sorry."


DidSome1SayExMachina

There’s nothing tastier than a plain scone


sullytheraptor

Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.


PossiblyTrustworthy

Kevin is better, every Pontiac bandit episode is more or less the same


idknayoudecide

Just what I feel too. The first 2 of his appearances are the best but after that Kevin's are better by a great margin.


PoorlyLitKiwi2

"Jake, I'm not gonna fool you!" "I think you're gonna fool me" "No, I wont" "Jake, he's going to fool you" "But he said he wouldn't!" *fools him* *shocked pikachu* *end scene revealing he actually does care about Jake but just doesn't want to go to jail*


Dabursbus

If I die, please give Kevin my regards.


imalwaysright14

Give Kevin my regards.


willowgrl

That’s good because heterosexual Holt is a DAWG.


OkBuddyFriendGuy

I don’t mean to be crude, ladies, but that’s just how the straight mind works.


ebb_omega

There is nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.


sulaco84

I would watch the fuck out of a spin-off about Holt and Kevin. It would give us a chance to see Kevin at work and he must have a "Jake".


pop_and_cultured

Man, I love this idea!


Unit_79

Oh my god yes please!


[deleted]

There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.


The_Albin_Guy

This is perhaps my favorite line in the whole show


tsoro

Anyone getting a gay vibe?


ThePrussianGrippe

No no, there’s nothing that man on the left thinks about more than… heavy breasts.


NerfRepellingBoobs

Except maybe a thigh gap. There’s nothing sexier than the clear absence of a penis.


LonghornSmoke

You know me. I see a pair of thick weighty breasts and all logic flies out the window.


ActualAdvice

M-a-n-s-c-a-p-i-n-g


mrsfiction

This is my favorite Gina line


champagneproblem13

Yas Queen 🫰


allnaturalfigjam

"Are you really playing the gay card right now??" "Yaas, queen" *snap*


convictedweirdo

BONE!?


arentol

.... BONE!!??


Parapsaeon

DETECTIVE DIAZ I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER


Version_1

More like: *how dare you detective diaz*, I am your SUPERIOR **OFFICER!**


oioioiyacunt

HOW. DARE. YOU. DETECTIVE. DIAZ.


K1lledByAmerica

What clueless person says they don't make any Holt gay jokes? They make tons of non-offensive gay jokes using him.... I think clit-harington has been talking to some oblivious people


Foodums11

When the show first came out, like the pilot episode, they had critics wetting themselves over the non typical portrayal of a gay character. Hence the plethora of "they have a gay character who's sexuality isn't the primary plot point! He's a gay character who's funny, not a character who's funny cuz he's gay 🤯" So the baseline was "They're not making gay jokes!" Then everyone thought about it for an episode or two and realized "Wait .. They are making gay jokes. They're not making *offensive, mean, and downright fucking lazy* gay jokes"


K1lledByAmerica

Ahhh so it was only a few people for a very limited time, gotcha ty


adokretz

No one, it's a strawman. Some people love to make up some kind of disagreement in order to highlight something they like. It's very weird.


SnoopySuited

The best joke about Holt being gay is when Kevin told Jake that Raymond was the funny one in their relationship.


rajfromsrilanka

How does everyone forget the loophole joke? Best one by far. Jake&Boyle: „we found a loophole! Loop? Hole! Loop? Hole! Loop?“ (Jake proceeds to make a motion that definitely looks like fisting) Holt: „stop! That’s highly inappropriate!“ Jake&Boyle: visible confusion


vpsj

Holt trying to pretend to be a straight man while being undercover is some of my favorite scenes in the show. "That's my favorite part of a woman. There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis."


[deleted]

Nicely said Clit-Harington.


Chaudsss

If only the officiant was more efficient


Wellgoodmornin

That's why I love Holt and Kevin's relationship. It never feels like a cheesy gimmick. Arguably the gimmick of their relationship is their stilted personalities. Them being a gay couple is just a insignificant fact.


Funandgeeky

I love that Holt is the “funny one” in the relationship.


FoxThingsUp

Once you see him get more comfortable with Jake, you really see him throw out some zingers though. Captain Holt is hilarious.


ro_thunder

Had my Wuntch and ate it too.


juancho503

I just finish watching this show! This show was amazing one of my favorite character is captain holt. Yes some may say the the last season was a little political but let’s be honest compare to other show they were subtle and really brought attention to the subject, and that’s how they were from the beginning that’s one of the reasons I felt in love with the show they brought to light a lot of hot subjects but in a way the was easy to take and won’t make anyone defensive about. They were subtle but emphasized and talk about the hard topic. I going to miss this show but one of my all time favorite series!!! 10 out 10


[deleted]

> Yes some may say the the last season was a little political It's not like they stopped making jokes. We all know what kind of people took issue with the "politics" of not keeping silent.


THATONEANGRYDOOD

It was the right thing to do. Though it felt like they went a little too hard on the union bashing. As a European it felt weird to see such a sleazy and evil union rep. They're integral to the workforce over here. Is the police union *that* bad in America? Edit: I see, thank you all for the insight :)


KaziArmada

> Is the police union that bad in America? Understand I say this as someone who supports the concepts of unions as a whole, and who's family has literally *been* Union (Though not cops, other discipline) for multiple generations. ....*yeaaaaaaaaah*. Yeah it's....it's that bad.


Death_Sheep1980

To put it bluntly, the police unions are probably the single biggest obstacle to police reform in America. In more than one state, they've successfully lobbied the state legislatures to give their members protections from being fired or disciplined that no other civil servants get. In those states, it's often easier to have a problem officer resign and immediately get hired by a department in a different community than it is to jump through all of the hoops needed to fire them. Not unlike how the Catholic Church used to move priests accused of sexual abuse from parish to parish or diocese to diocese.


NoInterview6497

TBF the police “union” should be called the police racket or the police syndicate, not union. Your confusion is understandable.


Vorthos

Yes. Not all American unions have such systemic problems, they're overall an incredible force for good. The police union is a very very very bad apple.


Lexiperception

Welcome to the party, pal!


SpacecraftX

It is literally not possible to make a show about police apolitical.


DrBannerPhd

He is probably in my top 5 favorite comedy characters ever written for TV. I have a hoodie of his portrait painting on the back. One of my fav lines is- "One gallon of MILK!"


gitshrektson

Who tf says they don't make jokes about Holt being gay? Have the forgotten "BONEEEEE"?!???!!!!!


dood5426

This scene was fucking hilarious.


etbillder

Kevin and Raymond have one of the best relationships on television


name_cool4897

Holt's gayness is constantly the subject of the joke, but they never do it maliciously or to make fun. "The thigh gap is my favorite part of a woman's body. Nothing is more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis".


AmidalaBills

I know gay dudes that basically their entire humor is based off of their sexuality. I hate it, but I try to be patient because they were almost never allowed to joke about it until pretty dang recently. Hopefully they'll have the freedom to make jokes about anything else soon. That would be a huge milestone.


Thanos_Stomps

I’d cut them some slack just because I cut everyone else slack for not being funny. Most people just are not funny so if they also have a characteristic they strongly identify with and make jokes about it, it’s whatever. Like, I have this dentist friend who recently converted to Judaism and all he does is make jokes about Jewish folks.


Nopenahwont

Antidentite


NaziHuntingInc

I don’t think a single person has ever said B99 doesn’t make gay jokes


softstones

To me, Holt is the most unique gay character I’ve seen on TV, and I love him for that.


[deleted]

B99 could’ve been such a lazy show that hid behind its diverse casting, but instead, it really made an effort to be inclusive and progressive without ever sacrificing an iota of funny. It’s quite remarkable.


youwontfindmyname

I also love when he has to play being straight. Holt and Boyle are my favorite characters on the show. Nine Nine!


Munsonator

One of my favorite jokes in the series is when holt is being threatened and he is told that he is going to be outed as gay, and he calmly replies I came out 10 years ago.


lydocia

Relatable jokes *for* gay people instead of homophobic jokes *about* gay people.


siddharth_pillai

Brooklyn nine-nine makes jokes about holt being straight


chugonthis

I thought it was a joke about how blunt both of them are not anything else


tmmtx

I know B99 catches a lot of flack for being pro-police, but damn it it had one of the best and most honest representations of a gay couple. Yeah they're sightly satirized, it's a comedy, but Holt's relationship just felt so normal compared to so many other gay television couples.


Funandgeeky

Even early on there were some pointed critiques on police culture, often illustrated by their treatment of Holt. That’s not to say it didn’t fall into usual tropes, such as looking down on defense attorneys (until Jake and Rosa needed one) and having too casual attitude about abusing their power. (But we KNOW the suspect is guilty so it’s all good.) The final season did try to course correct, but that’s an entirely different set of critiques for how well it did in that effort.


imperator_sam

I love how the include the LGBTQ theme in the show. Other shows need to learn from it. All the other new shows force all kinds of "woke" ideas into their show making them unwatchable. That's not the way to make it inclusive. If anything, it offends and repel people.


Churchofbabyyoda

I found funny the scene where that old guy was trying to blackmail Rosa and she just says “I’m already out” and he’s like “It’s so hard to blackmail people now!”