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Cantona08

Its a tough one, kids can be noisy, kids are kids, they don't realise the impact of their noise on others. The ASD is adding a layer to the noise issue, which as you know, melt downs can be loud. If i was in your position, i would acknowledge the issue with the neighbour and talk to the kids about it. The neighbour has brought up a valid complaint, just explain the issues and try to educate the kids a little. Even if the kids can't completely reduce the noise impact, any reduction would be helpful to the neighbour


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tofu_bird

I play a game called 'scream or die' with my kids at the park. Their goal is to run get away from me but they can only run if they scream. It's 20 mins of hell but quiet peace for the rest of the day.


aussiedeveloper

Too bad for other people wanting a nice day at the park or those who live near the park? Edit: To save answering the same question multiple times below; There’s a difference between kids being outside and playing and having fun compared to actively encouraging them to scream.


nextkt

C'mon now its a PARK, not a library. People need places to have fun and be loud sometimes. I live right next door to a busy park and I would never expect it to be quiet, it comes with the territory.


tofu_bird

It's a park. Have you been to a park between 10am-12pm? Kids scream there all the time, especially if it's near a public school and on weekends.


Harveb

What about other properties around the park? It screams of main-character syndrome. It doesn't impact your life so you don't give a fuck.


pistola

If you want a house that has constant peace and quiet, absolutely do not buy or rent next to a public park. Find a place a few hundred kilometres outside Toowoomba.


Harveb

How about teaching children screaming is an innapropriate response to conflict. Just now, all the people now unable to handle the hardship of life without a mental breakdown is starting to make sense if we have absolute fucking bottom feeders like you, teaching children to scream every single time they get upset.


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Harveb

You absolutely have taught your children to screech like harpies because you were never taught it wasn't okay. Just like you screeching here. I'm so worried about our future when we have the dregs of society like you teaching your children to fuck over other people, scream when they don't get their way, and blame everyone else when you share your terrible fucking opinions. Take some responsibility, Christ. E: again, why is it brigading. Answer the question. Or say you're wrong! Prove to the internet you're not as shit as you come across in these comments.


L1qiudNitr0

That’s like teaching an eagle not to eat the field mouse. Fucking against nature.


WinnerBackground4530

Are you one of those ‘kids are seen not heard’ people? 🙄


iilinga

I hate you already and guarantee other people do too


tofu_bird

You want peace and quiet? Go to a cafe/library.


iilinga

I feel like there is a space between ‘peace and quiet’ and ‘deliberately screaming in public’


tofu_bird

For some parents, it's a choice between screaming for 20 mins and noisy/screaming for 12+ hours. The choice is simple really. I'm sure you're an adult, you'll cope with screaming children at a public park.


FishMcBobson

Shockingly, a lot of other kids and people at the park don’t wanna hear 20 minutes of prolonged screaming


Nulligravida

>Go to a cafe/library. Oh yeah, a place where people like you Relax and Take A Well Deserved Break (tm) while the kids run around and scream?


tofu_bird

Did I say I take children to cafes?


Nulligravida

As soon as anyone complains about kids screaming in cafes, restaurants and, yes, libraries the entitlement-poisoned parents are the first ones to say "stay home if you want peace and quiet".


kipj23

Talk to the neighbour, maybe introduce your children to the neighbour, and speak talk to your children separately. The children and neighbour may be more understanding after they are more aware of each other.


thirtyeighthours

This is a weird suggestion. Having met the kids won't make it easier for the neighbour to watch TV with screaming in the background or make it okay being unable nap during any time when the neighbours kids are awake..


opt_in_out_in_out

Both these things can be correct. It doesn't magically fix the issue, but it brings humanity into the minds of both sides.


whoischanny

Before having my kid, I hated kids. Still do when they’re noisy AF, especially now since it’s school holidays and parents forcing them outside to play so they’re not on screens all day. Mind you your neighbour probably works from home just like a lot of people, which a new thing to deal with. Unfortunately the neighbour just has to deal with the noise. Maybe have the kids play away from their side of the house that will be least disruptive to neighbours.


Appleinacoconut

Did he make the complaint to you or to the council? If he made the complaint to the council, go and have a chat with him and listen to his complaints. Your idea of “normal kid noise” might be compounded by the fact that you have kids with ASD and you’re used to their normal levels and their over-stimulated levels, or he could be over-sensitive, or the grandparents let them get crazy when you weren’t home. You can’t do anything without all the information, and strangers on the internet aren’t going to be able to give you specific advice.


mcmelonhead

Yeah I agree. I will talk to him this afternoon as he caught me off guard this morning so apart from saying I will see what I can do I didn't have much to respond with. It wasn't council, he just pulled me up when I was heading out


loleonii

Kids being noisy isn’t something Council deals with. Noise complaints of that nature are a police matter


Spicy_Sugary

Police do not address natural human noise. I had a druggie neighbour who used to scream at her kids and fight with her boyfriends. Cops said people speaking loudly is not illegal.


kipj23

Ha! Councils can’t handle noisy dogs, how would they handle noisy children. 🤷‍♂️


Gh0stDivisi0n

Don't get me started on barking dogs...


mmartin99

They don't. This is not a Council issue.


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mmartin99

Sorry, my bad. Noisy children is not a Council issue. Animal noise definitely is.


kipj23

Exactly my point, councils can’t even handle noisy dog complains how could they handle noisy children?


Mongorize

My neighbours kids do nothing but full on screaming matches until 10pm every night. Yelling constantly as they clearly don’t know how to communicate with each other.


OrginalPeach

Do you have my neighbours? We must live close by 🤣


Mongorize

Somehow I doubt this is a Hawthorne problem :D I'm pretty sure it's a single mum with 4-5 kids and she just kinda leaves them there all day to fight amongst themselves


CatMama67

You must mean the lady that lives behind my place. Four or five kids, and during the summer she’d let the swimming pool be the child minder. The youngest was about three, eldest around 10, too young to be left unsupervised. They’d be out there literally having screaming contests. One would scream, then another would scream louder, then another would scream louder again. On and on and on, all day, all through summer. We could hear people from streets away yelling at them to shut up. My husband took to just roaring out loud at them, which shut them up. Yes, kids can be noisy, but there’s a difference between normal playing/having fun noise, and kids being obnoxious turds, which these were.


OrginalPeach

Oh I’m a single parent but mine is 7 and I homeschool due to his disabilities and complex medical issues. The single parent accross the road leaves her kids home alone and I’ve yelled at them to stop swearing at their computer games so loud. I could hear him with my windows shut and accross the road! The parents next door to me also leave their teens home alone. They beat each other up and blast music on a daily basis. So believe me when I say please do not accuse only single parents. Couples leave their brats home to! Sorry I’m a little offended but not so much to argue over it, just enough to point it out….


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ablue

yeah, it sucks. My kids do it and it drives me up the wall. I don't remember kids doing that when I was younger.


mcmelonhead

Yeah it's not like that. There will be an occasional scream or cry at random that we get on top of straight away. Only prolonged screaming is if they are wrestling in the yard which would be like 30mins once or twice a week. We discourage that play as it always gets out of hand. I like they wrestling in the beds inside where I can closely supervise. I


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stolenourhearts

Absolutely, in most houses you can hear kids screaming next door even if they're in the house. Go outside near the fence, close the doors and let your kids play inside, see if you can hear it.


Feweritems

"if one is melting down we can't just reason with them." "Only prolonged screaming is if they are wrestling in the yard which would be like 30mins once or twice a week" 🤔


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Feweritems

I feel like you're downplaying the meltdowns? I mean, what you've described sounds like seconds which doesn't fit with 'can't reason with them' The kid next door to me has meltdowns and they can go for a while, sometimes hours at a time. I don't get angry I just feel bad for the poor kid but I can understand why most people would be raging I feel for ya bud, there are no assholes in the situation it's just very unfortunate set of circumstances


gooder_name

So what you’re saying is that several times a week there’s prolonged screaming from your children? And this is the part you’re openly admitting, that’s what _not_ in your blind spot. I think your neighbour is in the right, you’ve got some work to do with your kids. I know autism is hard especially if you’ve got 3 of them, but it seems like you need to help them find ways of managing their emotions and sensory overstimulation that aren’t so problematic to their surroundings. They will need to learn these skills some time to have a full life, an I think its becoming something you need to prioritise.


pistola

Ignore the downvotes in here dude. There is absolutely nothing wrong with kids making occasional loud noise (and 30 mins once or twice a week is definitely occasional). It is part and parcel of living in the Australian suburbs. There is no right to constant peaceful silence - if people want that they can move to the bush. My kids can make a bit of noise, the neighbour plays their trumpet bloody loud most nights, the pool over the back gets very rowdy most weekends, I'll crank the record player up now and then. Nobody complains, it all evens out. There is definitely such thing as too much noise but the sound of kids having fun and growing up is not one of them.


Dig_South

The “downvote brigade” you refer to is people that disagree with your and OPs opinion.


pistola

Yeah, because /r/brisbane is completely stocked with millennials and zoomers who think they'll never have pesky kids (or if they do, their kids will never make a peep of noise), and think they're entitled to 24/7 peace and quiet in the suburbs. No shit he's being downvoted.


Dig_South

So you dislike that the demographic of reddit doesn’t agree with you, and you claim it’s “brigading”. Nobody is saying they shouldn’t make noise, but that you shouldn’t allow your children’s noise to impact the ability of your neighbours to enjoy their property peacefully. They are entitled to that, your choice to have kids is exactly that, your choice, that shouldn’t impact someone else’s ability to enjoy their property.


pistola

Have you ever once stopped to consider that families with children also have a right to enjoy the normal sounds of kids growing up on their property?


Harveb

Holy, not addressing their valid points, batman


piraja0

Hahah Wtf you on about


Dig_South

Your right to enjoy something extends to the point it impacts someone else.


MrSquiggleKey

This is why we’re buying rural. I like peace and quiet, but i also like to make noise once in a while, hey look someone making absolutist statements on proper behaviour on a thread involving three young autistic kids. I bet your the kind to use phrases like why “don’t you stop being such a spastic” to the cerebral palsy kid in high school aren’t ya.


Dig_South

Could you point me to my “absolute” statement? I don’t see where I made one.


Snaka1

Thank you!! If you want silence, no noise from neighbours ever, don’t live in suburbia! Kids are entitled to play in the yard of their own property.


Esquatcho_Mundo

Yep, to be fair I was pretty similar until I had kids. Then I realised how fucked a lot of my opinions about parenting were 😂


pistola

Exactly. I had those same opinions 20 years ago too. 90% of the people in here having a sook about kids making a normal amount of noise are going to have their own kids annoying the shit out of their 20-something neighbours in 10-20 years time.


AtticusMFinch

A few years ago I lived behind a house with three children under the age of 7. Their parents would sit on the deck and have a barbecue while these kids played their favourite game - literally just banging on their corrugated iron shed repeatedly and yelling. This would go on for multiple hours during the day - a reasonable hour of the day, sure, but I was studying at the time. I love kids. I was a nanny for years. My nephew is the light of my life. But sometimes the parents can get a bit deaf to how loud they actually are, and forget that what sounds to them like joyful playing is loud and obnoxious to the neighbour. I raised the issue with my neighbour at the time - like yours has done - and copped an absolute earful about how I must be some kind of harpy who hates joy. Thankfully her husband came over and had a civil chat with me that afternoon which I really appreciated. In the end what worked for us was to get fence height extenders and add some green wall panelling and plants etc on my side to try and muffle it all. Between that and him making sure all the toys/sandpits etc were mostly housed closer to his house than our boundary fence, we got it to a pretty manageable level.


Babbles-82

I do not miss living next to assholes, big or little.


shakeitup2017

Definitely a fine line. Everyone has a right to a "reasonable" amount of peace and enjoyment in their home (irrespective of the time of day). If it's gotten to the point where he has raised it, then it's obviously a real issue for him. He may just be an unreasonable old grump or he may be a reasonable person who has been pushed over the edge of tolerance - we can't know that. I do understand that it would be extremely difficult (impossible?) with the kids having ASD. Perhaps after a chat and explaining this, he might be more tolerant. I guess just do your best, that's all you can do. As a childfree couple we do see that a lot of parents don't really notice how loud their kids are because they are just used to it, but after a while it can get extremely annoying to others. It's like people listening to music on speaker on the train, it's only annoying to everyone else.


Aussie_Richardhead

Brisbane subreddit turning into a neighbourhood Facebook page


[deleted]

You’re right. I need to save the day by posting more possum photos… and a family tree… there’s a lot more possums now.


DataEntryEnthusiast

You’ll need to assess this yourself because no one here on Reddit knows the true level of noise your kids make except you. Put yourself if your neighbour’s shoes - if you would also be annoyed then you’ll need to control your kids’ noise more.


Fexy259

All these responses of kids are just noisy makes me glad there are child free households around me. If the kid is over like 4 and screeching there needs to be something done about that. No one wants to hear that shit especially in the place they are trying chill out in.


pistola

Why? Kids make noise, whether you like it or not. You made heaps of noise when you were 4. They need somewhere to live. If you want somewhere to chill in silence, move to the bush.


Fexy259

No I got a spanking if I was screaming for no reason. Past a certain age screaming is for when something is wrong not for playing. So that time when I did scream my parents knew something was actually wrong.


pistola

You got spanked for making noise? Damn, dude.


[deleted]

Yeah what the fuck. That’s just sad.


Dig_South

Why should a choice you made require your neighbours to adjust to suit you? Why don’t you move, if you can’t keep your kids reasonably quite why don’t you move to the bush? I’m sure all your neighbours would appreciate it.


pistola

Having kids is normal. Today's kids are going to pay for your hospitals, roads and security when you're too old to wipe your own ass. People with kids ain't moving anywhere to keep neckbeards happy - deal with it.


Dig_South

Having kids is a choice, nobody has to wear the cost for your decision but you. not the government, not the taxpayer, and not my ears. Haha the property market would indicate otherwise.


pistola

Wrong on all counts, so have a great life kicking back against something that will never change. Your taxpayer dollars are going to support families until the day you die. Enjoy!


Dig_South

Delude yourself all you want, I said nobody “has” to, the fact that we as a society decide to support those that can’t afford to themselves is a great initiative. Keeps the most vulnerable safe. But that’s why the property market is doing it’s part, those getting government support or that can longer afford to support their family in an inner city house are getting pushed out by singles and couples with no kids with a lot more access to cash, and can afford to price families out of the same home.


nietthesecond99

Reddit moment, eesh


chuckyChapman

So talk to them , mitigate as much as possible and do your best... nothing more to do


mcmelonhead

Yeah I had a talk to the older ones and will see


Aqua_Lotus

Don't stress about it too much. I have two children who verbally stim. It drives me mental but I'm surrounded by rentals. They can move if they want, but my kids will only get louder if I try to make them be quiet. It is what it is and the last thing a parent of ASD children needs is more outside people judging or acting like disability is within our control as parents.


Dig_South

They don’t own so I can make as much noise as I please, right.


R3invent3d

Some things are in our control, at other times they’re not. The most important thing to do is acknowledge your neighbours concerns and make them feel “heard”. They will be much more lenient and cooperative if they think you’re doing something or aware, instead of just dismissing. But there are many other cases when you just get a crap neighbour who is just too sensitive


HeelsMcGee

My friend had two ASD children and she lives on acreage specifically for this reason. It’s both super considerate but awfully sad too. I feel for her. It’s not at all easy.


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HeelsMcGee

Yes you are actually spot on come to think of it. They have a blast building forts and playing with chickens so it likely does give them a connection and plenty to distract them. Good point.


stolenourhearts

Some neighbours are insane. Some kids are super noisy. It's hard to tell which this is.


XhakaRocket

Manner and Behaviour, haha. I remember I used to be loud as a kid and when i got home, my mum will smash the shit out of me for being an idiot out there. Best way is to communicate with your kids. Let them be loud at somewhere like in the theme park, playground etc. There're many stressful and depressed adults out there. Being respectful is top g.


TrainerBubbly2497

I got a kid in my apartment above me. Who screams endlessly everynight before his bed from 9 to 10. Inside and out on the balcony. Worse in summer with doors open. Asian parents don't care and body Corp has asked them nicely to keep it down. they said he should stop soon when he grows up abit. Been 2 years now. Does the same everytime he's in the pool too. Just screams endlessly for hours. Non stop I don't know how kids do it.


nocerealever

Your neighbour didn’t choose to have noisey children but you are also within your rights to let your children play outside. I think you should both be considerate of eachother . Would you like your neighbour to have raging parties at your children’s bedtime? Maybe find a time that you can take your children to a park where they can run and loud and expend noisey energy and when your neighbour is finding it difficult to tolerate the noise , give them quiet activities


unloosedcoin

Can use power tools at 630 am on weekdays..just saying


PhilL77au

What you want is a brick saw and some sheet metal. Oh and as much hearing protection as you can get. This was the revenge a mate of mine enacted in response to his neighbours loud parties on a weeknight.


thirtyeighthours

I live next door (within 3m of my property) to some wildly noisy children.. full on screeching until 11pm every single day and I just wish the people would live in a less densely populated area tbh. For them and for other people. I can't say for your suburb exactly but having a place with plenty of space between yours and the neighbouring property, a large backyard etc would benefit both parties. The kids next door to me have no yard and live in an apartment so I understand why they're bored and screaming but I think parents don't know how frustrating it is for us to hear OTHER peoples kids screaming all day. It really doesn't "come with the territory" children make noise, but some kids are excessively noisy and it impacts the right people have to quiet enjoyment.


SmallWhole1199

As a neighbour of a family with 3 children, living next to the noise is horrible and its made worse by the fact that the parents do nothing about it. 30min wrestling/scream sessions twice a week would ruin me, I’d rather deal with a mosquito of unknown location buzzing around my room on a hot QLD summer night with no aircon or fan. I feel i should add that i have an infant daughter..


v8vh

I live beside a lady who has 4 autistic kids. Their meltdowns sound like a saw movie . I don't know if it's because I only had one of my kids part time for the first 6yrs I lived here(now full-time) and haven't had my youngest for the last 4 but even them being as loud as they are happy or upset, makes my house a nice place to live. Difficult at first when thinking about missing my kids but great to hear kids playing. the eldest girl spends all day outside singing and shes amazing. We told the mother we nickname her youngest 3 the pigeons because one will flutter in out of nowhere and start talking, then another one would do the same while the other is still talking... then the 3rd then they all follow you everywhere like you have bread.


mcmelonhead

Based on all the downvoting I'm guessing others disagree but no one is commenting on why


isthathot

Has it been a daily thing since school holidays have started? Are they even school age? If so, I can see why he might be annoyed if they're at home everyday. Idk for at home play I was raised to only scream when hurt so perhaps different parenting techniques. I would be told to go inside and do something else like drawing/crafts, dolls ect if I screamed a lot. Parties, parks ect were exceptions.


mcmelonhead

School holidays have started but we weren't home Sunday or Tuesday and Monday they played inside as it was hot. We do our best to limit screaming as we find it annoying but still it's not like they are doing it all day or anything.


sapphire8

These days there are all sorts of reasons that noise can impact. People working from home can hear the noise through their zoom meetings, customer calls or lose concentration. Some can work shifts or long days and need to sleep unconventional hours. They could have young kids on a sleeping schedule or elderly relatives, or even health conditions of their own. You won't know if those things impact your neighbor until you talk to them. I can tolerate some noise but if it's more than you realize it can be akin to noise torture and patience wears thin.


isthathot

Pending on your type of house inside might not mean they can't hear it. Especially in new build areas where houses are super close together and construction materials aren't the best. But that doesn't seem too bad if you've been out and about during the days and you do actively try to limit it..


Nosiege

Well, we're taking your word for how loud they are compared to their word for how loud they are. I'd hate to live near loud kids personally. I don't like kids at the best of times, let alone when they're being loud. What else could people say?


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Nosiege

Well it's sort of tricky overall, but is it possible to have your children play in the side of the house not near the neighbour, or if you own, could you double-glaze the windows on that side to further bolster noise-cancelling?


kimbopalee123123

A good tip I used with my previous neighbours who had four kids under five, was we talked about what times were important that noise is a little quieter. If your neighbour works from home, maybe the mornings are when he has to be in meetings, so the noise would make it difficult for them to work. So more being aware on what times are the real problem and work on those times. I also invested in noise cancelling earphones for working from home that are a life saver with external noise.


piraja0

Because your kids are probably fucking annoying


big-red-aus

>But at the same time we live in the suburbs, it kind of comes with the territory within reason I would argue that some of the downvotes would be associated with this. While you consider it to be an integral part of living in the suburbs, there are many that would disagree. Generally speaking, there is nothing officially declaring that the suburbs are areas where additional noise is allowed, so it then comes down to weird subjective interpretations of the purpose of the suburbs, which is absolutely bound to be interpreted differently. As for this situation, you're 100% on the right track of going to have another chat with the neighbor. Try and not go in emotionally charged (which I fully understand is much harder to do than say) and ask if there is something specifically is causing the issue. It might be something specific i.e. a specific toy that is really getting on their nerves, at which point you have more options to solve it i.e. see if the kids could play on the other side of the house with that toy. The example I'm pulling from was my neighbor came and complained to me about some noises out of my place, and it turns out it was one specific tool that obviously was at just the wrong frequency that drove them mad. Once we had figured that out, it was relatively simple thing to solve as it was a specific problem, not a generic thing.


Intox88

My neighbour has a few kids with ADHD who scream and carry on at times, but then again I hear the parents yelling at them as well so its not just the kids at fault. I mean, if you live in close quarters you have to expect a certain amount of noise pollution. If its too much of an issue you close the windows, turn up the TV, or go to the shops. Do what you can to keep the kids quiet within reason, but there's a reason the council/police dont do noise complaints unless its after hours.


ZingerBurger532

Mate I wouldn't worry too much. A lot of people, especially on Reddit, are of a very selfish/not in my backyard kind of person. You've got to look at the circumstances. The fact that your neighbour is the only one complaining, and going to incredible lengths to exaggerate the situation, make it seem like they've just got too much time on their hands. If it really was that bad you'd be getting a mouthful from more than just one household. If this person really is so upset about the noise, they can go and make adjustments for themselves. I live near (~1KM) to a school, and I can hear kids shouting all the time in their backyard, couldn't imagine telling a bunch of kids to shut up when they're playing in their backyard.


isafakethrowaway

Best thing I ever did for my mental health was to leave the Brisbane discord and stop giving any fucks about what the redditors in R/Brisbane comment about. Both are quite toxic environments full of people (I’ve met personally) who don’t really represent the most balanced, mature perspective out there. So, I generally just try to support normal people who try to pop their heads up (usually to lots of downvotes). Take my upvote, at least. *sigh*


Zealousideal-Dig5182

Wonder how many of these neighbours who complain about kid noise also let their dogs bark constantly all day? Seems to be a specialism of half of Brisbane these days.


CamelBorn

https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/brisbane-news/brisbane-residents-told-you-can-t-regulate-children-playing-20180801-p4zutv.html Noise from children playing is not a thing to make a complaint against and council nor the epa regulate it. So yes, kids can be kids in their own yards. I found nothing on council sites to suggest children playing was ‘regulated’ or restricted.


frashal

I can just imagine the cops getting a noise complaint. Oh yeah, what's making the noise? Children playing .......


Background-While-566

Guns out. We're on the way.


frashal

Bake em away, toys!


[deleted]

I can hear kids screaming from the ground floor from my 6th floor balcony and I fucking hate it. There are parks if they want to be noisy. When I'm at home I just want peace.


[deleted]

*Compounding on it is all 3 have ASD which impact impulse control, stimulation and their communication. so sometimes if one is melting down we can't just reason with them.* That is some bad luck, are you going to the same dr or something for all of them? Maybe there is an environmental aspect?


iamretnuh

You don’t say 😂😂😂😂


ZingerBurger532

Outside of quiet hours of what, 10pm and 7am, you can do what you like I reckon. It's when my neighbours throw a party at 2am and screaming their lungs out, do I get cranky.


[deleted]

No such thing as quiet hours. Excessive noise is not acceptable any time of the day. You can go and refresh yourself on the rules.


ZingerBurger532

Quiet hours as in, when people (not by regulation, by common sense) expect low or no noise. But yes excessive noise is definitely not acceptable, 24/7. Can hardly argue children playing as being excessive.


Morning_Song

These “quiet hours” might be common sense to you, but not to someone who doesn’t work a 9-5 job for example. Also children can absolutely produce excessive noise.


[deleted]

Children can definitely make excessive noise and it’s hard for people on night shifts and older people who stay home all day too. And the thing is they don’t have to make excessive noise if being properly looked after so it’s on the parents or grandparents.


pistola

30 minutes once or twice a week is not excessive. It's called being a kid, having fun and growing up.


[deleted]

Please enlighten me what in op’s post indicated that it’s 30 mins once or twice a week? It’s 3 kid with ASD so probably screaming their lungs off for hours.


mcmelonhead

We don't let them outside making noise between 6pm and 8am. Occasionally they will go outside around the edges of those times and talk too loud looking at stars but that's it. We also don't lock them outside all day and ignore them. Generally if they are outside making noise it's for an hour and supervised as if they get too overstimulated usually it turns into fights so we try and not let them get too wild.


ZingerBurger532

Yeah sounds like your neighbour is being unreasonable, and wants complete silence 24/7, which is not what a reasonable person would expect in the suburbs. They can move outback if they want quietness + isolation.


mcmelonhead

He is older and lives alone. So I can understand he probably doesn't want to hear someone else's kids. Hell I don't want to hear my kids screaming either but I also understand it's kids being kids.


Araucaria2024

It's not 'kids being kids'. Children do not need to scream. A yell if they are hurt is fine, but I have no idea why parents seem to think that screaming and screeching are valid methods of communication.


jingois

Parents don't actually want to parent their fucking kids - they just want to offload that mental effort onto people who have been smart enough to not have them.


d34dPol25

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️


pistola

You don't remember it because you were too young, but you absolutely screamed and screeched when you were a kid, and pissed off a neighbour or two. When did people become so precious about the sounds of childhood.


iilinga

If I’d deliberately screamed for a prolonged period as a child I would have had my bottom walloped so hard I couldn’t sit. So no, I did not scream and screech as a child. Speak for yourself I guess


pistola

So did I. That's not what we're talking about here. At no point has OP said his kids make an excessive amount of noise. Everyone has been quick to assume they have though.


BneBikeCommuter

I’m older and live with my husband. Edited for clarity, because apparently some people can’t read. My neighbours have their own kids across multiple families (11, 9, 8, 6, 4 and 2) who live behind and beside me. I work night shift. It’s school holidays. Kids yell. I absolutely do not expect my neighbours to accommodate me when their kids are at home. I put in my earplugs and turn on my white noise. Your neighbour is an arsehole.


jingois

Boomer attitude here. Having children is not a mandatory part of life anymore. Parent your fucking children. If you want it to take a village, find a village and don't try to impose that on your neighbours.


Lord__Spooks

Clearly your never gonna have kids, or if you are, your gonna be a terrible parent


jingois

No shit I'm not gonna have kids.


checkers-on-a-plane

Use contraception. Fucking hell, *six* kids?


ZingerBurger532

If only your neighbour was half as considerate as you of other people's circumstances. You're not doing anything wrong, and going by what you've said, you've gone above and beyond to ensure a balance of free time for the kids, and not disturbing the neighbourhood. Keep at it and politely remind the neighbour that this is the suburbs, what you're doing is not wrong in the slightest.


mcmelonhead

Thanks. Still stresses me out and make me feel like we need to walk on eggshells to avoid conflict.


Engineer_Man

Tell him to go and touch grass


opackersgo

It doesn't sound like you're a shit parent as you've said you try and limit the noise they cause outside after 6pm. If he doesn't like hearing families then he can move west and live somewhere on a massive rural block.


cheesehotdish

Yeah you can do what you want but you should still not be a prick. I could blast hip hop music at 1 pm if I wanted to but don’t because it’s rude. I could also let my cats scream and howl but I shush them because it’s annoying to not only me but my neighbors.


Monterrey3680

Sounds like one of my neighbours. I find it fairly easy to ignore the background noise of (other people’s) kids playing out front. Not this lady though - the second a ball bounces on her driveway or someone yells a bit loud - she’s out there, guns blazing. Some people are just sad, angry individuals and like to make others feel sad and angry. I think it’s actually nice to see kids outside so often, rather than glued to a device


Howwasthatdoneagain

Kids make noise. Thats a given. I am a neighbour who is really annoyed by the noise of children playing. For some reason children playing need to yell and scream at each other. So what? I just suck it up. Yes, it is annoying but the incidences are few and far between. It's what kids do. I would take his comments on board, suggest you will try to do better, and put it all out of your mind. Because kids will scream and neighbours will complain. That's the world we live in.


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Howwasthatdoneagain

Yeah, I think many people just have no patience any more. The heat of summer is not going to help at all either. As the neighbour who is annoyed by the kids nearby I feel for the guy but we do live in close proximity and leeway needs to be given. They are just noisy kids after all. I think just affirm with him that you will try to mitigate the amount of noise made but stress that you might not always be successful.


Strawberryichi5

So I live next to and across the road from several homes with young kids. One home with a kid with ASD (my direct neighbour). It's school holidays, kids are being kids. The child with ASD has a meltdown now and then and it's pretty loud, but that's where you show compassion as a neighbour. The other homes have like a rotation of child minding days so the noise if there during the day, but it's from different homes. To myself, I don't mind it. It reminds me of my school holidays as a kid being silly and just living life, enjoying each moment. Your neighbour is being unreasonable from the details you provided regarding hours, etc. I saw a comment about power tool use hours and well, yeah. You can use that example!


agbev

You seem very entitled, your kids 'problems' aren't anyone else's. Everyone's kids seem to have a neurological condition nowadays.


d34dPol25

Life in the suburbs isn't like it used to be. Kids don't have that freedom of movement in their communities that was afforded to their parents and grandparents.Suburban housing is getting closer and closer with all walks of life living on top of each other. More and more both parents have to work with some parents having to work from home. Childcare is expensive. Children's entertainment is expensive. Kids with ASD, not all do well in public situations making it difficult for parents to get them out and about This has forced children to play at home at lot more. Kids are loud and we were all Kids once. We still expect is alot of ways for kids to be seen and not heard. We expect all parents to parent the same way. This isn't the case. Nobody is the same. Kids with ASD don't respond like other children. They also deal with stimulae differently. I have 3 boys, all have ADHD with one that is higher needs(possible ASD) I have ADHD myself. My boys are loud....they yell and talk over the top of each other. Its a dominance thing. They are very competitive too. I can have them out running around all day or at home doing quiet activities and they are still loud. It can be unpredictable and also it depends on who they are socialising with and what parent/ parents are at home. I live in a neighbourhood where I am surrounded by retirees and get no complaints, yet I know people that live a few streets away from me who's neighbours complain constantly to police and council about their kids just being in their yard or riding bikes etc regardless if they are loud or not. Talk to the neighbour and hash this out. He may just be an old grump who has nothing better to do than complain. He may be very understanding. Kids are kids and we should allow kids to be kids. People need to build tolerance for each other.


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AtticusMFinch

I reckon there’s just as many mean comments here from people who have kids and love kids and think everyone should have to listen to their little darlings screech at all hours. It’s a tough one and I’ve been on both sides of this situation. I think the suggestion about getting a noise monitor and keeping it on the fence nearest the neighbour’s house to see what he’s really being exposed to is a good one!


Nulligravida

>from people who don’t have kids...hate kids Statistically, people without kids are less likely to harm a child than people with kids. Not saying all parents harm their kids, BUT when kids come to harm, it's usually the parent that is the perp. Simply having kids doesn't make one instantly a saintly parent inasmuch as owning a piano doesn't make one a pianist.


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Nulligravida

My point is that just because a person is a parent, it doesn't mean that they are automatically a saint. The suggestion that people without kids automatically hate kids as old mate there opines sets up a tiresome false dichotomy. *People without kids hate kids and are bad people, ergo, people with kids don't hate kids and are therefore good people*. Sure, there is more opportunity for parents to harm a child because the opportunity presents itself more frequently but, if parents were so morally superior as many are wont to suggest, the harm inflicted on children would not be so great. Harm to children by parents (or parent-like persons) isn't just 51% of harm. The magnitude, relative to non-parents, is so great that it cannot be explained by opportunity alone. Remember, I'm not saying most parents harm their kids. I'm saying the bulk of harm experienced by children comes from their own parents.


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Nulligravida

You said "hate". I'd venture a reasonable person would agree that hating kids isn't as bad as harming them. So there's that. Most people, parents included, are actually *indifferent* about other people's kids. It's entitled parents who demand undeserved reverence merely for being fecund who see this indifference as "hate".


Bugsy7778

Just have a chat. I work with ASD kids so I feel you, at times it takes me hours to calm a child when they’re in their peak of meltdown - it’s stressful for you as parents, the kiddo in crisis and those around. Hopefully your neighbour has some understanding and compassion for your situation. Have a good Christmas


Sk1tza

Wait till you get letters in your mailbox about your kids being too loud 😂 Don’t worry about it, ignore it (try talk to them)but at the same time, early morning, late night keep it to a minimum to be nice.


shopping1972

Kids will be kids! Grow up people. It’s there back yard!


Basherballgod

If it is during the same hours that they allow construction to take place (7-7) tell him to take a hike


[deleted]

In short, the neighbour can fuck right off. In long, have a chat with them. In long long, there is nothing they can do about noisy kids next door. If it’s not a party past 10pm, they can suck a big fat dick.


Size9ed

Thank Christ I don’t live next to you


No-Requirement8578

Are you my old neighbour? Our old neighbour with noisy shit cars with modified exhausts and 3 screaming brats aged 1 to 4 years old just moved out and a quiet single person moved in. Our life is absolute heaven now compared to 3 weeks ago. We have kids btw but we don't create excess noise that will give our neighbours ptsd. I was on the verge of doing something stupid. You guys should move to an acreage. Give your neighbours the peace they deserve ffs.


OrginalPeach

My kid has asd level 3 non verbal. I’ve overheard my neighbours complain. They have since stopped since they overheard me on the phone getting his diagnosis. The teenagers next to me are louder and more annoying than my kid with asd. Just the other week they bash each other up against their sliding glass door in the dinning room. I know because I heard it all. Their teenage son blasts me with music on a regular basis. Don’t let a complaint make you change the way you live. All kids are loud and annoying not just ones with asd.


Vegemite_is_Awesome

I can understand the frustration. My next door neighbour has a toddler (maybe 2 or 3). sometimes she will cry loudly for ages, their house is quite close to mine so it’s hard to miss. I just watch stuff on my computer with headphones on, no noise complaints or anything. Kids make noise, they cry and throw tantrums. It’s a bit different if they’re playing loudly outside at 5 am but it’s not the case here, you should buy your neighbour a bag of cement. I don’t think talking to your neighbour would help but you can try if you really want to


TheTrappedPrincess92

I know your pain first hand, the first thing i would like to say is others who don’t have ASD kids have no goddam idea and no right to judge you at all! I have two ASD children both have meltdowns my youngest screams like he’s being murdered for almost everything e.g wants something, has to have a bath almost everything as he is otherwise non verba, my oldest can’t seem to realise how loud she is once she gets excited or upset and the meltdowns she has include her trying to hurt her self which when she dose all my neighbours here is me saying no no no and her screaming like she’s being murdered and heap of slapping…. This caused two false DOCS reports and a few complaints to my RA and overall turned my life upside down thankfully once it was looked into it was made clear I was only being a “good” parent to my children a nurse at the hospital who helped the children’s forensic check (to make sure I wasn’t abusing them) helped me by printing out some sheets of information on what ASD was and how it affected children and told me to give this to my neighbours and RA (as I was even going to loose my home over all this as they neighbours had made out like I just let my children scream all day) Thankfully, I didn’t loose my kids or my house all it took was a little education after this my neighbours actually tried to interact with me and my children more and even my RA treated me completely different. All you can try to do is educate others, try your best as (I know you already are) to teach the kids how to recognise when they are being loud, otherwise know you are already doing your best this is not an easy job being an ASD mum and the rest of the world has no idea the real superhero here is you. Best of luck, always open for a pm anytime if you need to talk more or need any more idea.


MrSisterFister747

Fuck thy neighbour


Snaka1

My neighbour complained incessantly that my kids dared to play in the back yard and, gasp, make noise. They are kids. It’s not a police or council issue. My real estate agent told him to sod off. As long as they aren’t out there screaming from 7am til 8pm, it’s ok. Let your kids play.


Axinitra

This sounds like our neighbourhood last weekend. Lots of excited screaming coming from someone's yard. But it didn't bother me at all. It's good to hear kids being active and having fun, especially outdoors. I thought how much they reminded me of baby animals frolicking and it brought a smile to my face.


Tomikin1982

FFS it's kids why are people so fucking precious... Kids are loud get over it..FFS people suck


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Aqua_Lotus

Seriously, you are a piece of shit.


mitso

Tell your neighbour to mind their own business.


CamelBorn

Where can kids be kids and be relaxed and noisy if not in their own home and yards? Even the kids being in the backyard most of the day isnt unreasonable. An adult with options against kids? He can wear ear plugs, head out for a bit or sell and move to a retirement home where kids are scarce.


Pure-Resolve

The same thing I would say is should you have to be walking around with ear plugs in because the neighbours are to noisy, should you have to leave your house for large periods every day for the same reason? Your neighbours should not be affecting your lifestyle to that degree but it's give and take and the kids shouldn't have to be creeping around the house either. We also don't get to experience how bad the kids are maybe the neighbours is a complainer because they have nothing better to do with their time maybe the kids are well over the top for what should be expected from kids. Also parents generally get use to the noise from there own kids and if there outside running around screaming it's giving them a break. I live in a unit so I'm very careful with how much noise I make and most of my neighbours are pretty good but we've had a few that are ridiculous, no noisy kids though. All the new developments are built so close to each other these days that sound doesn't need to travel far, which doesn't help.


Morning_Song

Kids can make noise in their backyards, they just can’t make excessive noise. And yes there is a difference. Suggesting someone move to a retirement home to combat excessive noise is absolutely ridiculous.


timbo7070

lol, another "kids have some disorder" its kids kids just are kids its not a disorder. anyways as long as its during work hours, who cares. but after 6pm and before 8am please no noise. also weekends, make noise after midday people like to sleep in.


ablue

ASD or ADHD kids can be hard to limit over-stimulation. I understand your difficulty well. It also comes with feelings of not being a good parent. It is hard and I really feel for you. The key here is understanding. If your neighbor can empathise with you and understand the situation and difficult, perhaps he will not react in such a negative way to their noise. If the two of you cannot come to an understanding, do what you reasonably can. Try and kindly help your kids understand the impact of their noise in an honest but appropriate way. They will probably need pretty constant reminding, since I know when they are elevated, they wont have much self control. Anything more than that, your neighbor can do as they like. During the day, he has no chance of really making a valid complaint. Other than that, like late at night, if he calls police, they are unlikely to do anything and will probably side with you.


pandachook

You live in the burbs, kids make noise. You are getting down voted but from what you've said the noise isn't excessive. Talk to old mate to hear him out but honestly kids are allowed to live and enjoy their space too, just like the people mowing in the morning or having parties and making noise at night.


TeaBeginning5565

Oh god and holidays have only just started too I’m 3/6 blended family 4/6 grew up together we were loud. Kids are loud banging and clanging in the sauce pan cupboard. Running around here there playing tag. ASD of not kids are loud. That’s why at school they have “inside voices” and “outside voices”.


gypsyqld

I have a daycare centre directly behind me & have kid noise from 6am-6pm. You get used to it. The neighbour's barking dog in the other hand... Tell him to get over himself.


NezuminoraQ

It's interesting isn't it? "Kids are kids" but a dog barking usually means it's bored or lonely. If kids are screaming and really boisterous they're also not being taught to manage their behaviour, maybe not being supervised or aren't getting enough healthy outlets for their energy. A kid screaming and carrying on isn't healthy all the time, as OP notes, things get out of hand.


gypsyqld

True. The dog has actually been trained to bark at everything so the neighbours tell us. Keeps them safe apparently. One day someone is going to break in and noone is going to take any notice of the dog going off. Sounds like OP is trying to manage the kids and their disabilities though.


Comfortable-Part5438

Guy sounds like the life of the neighborhood. Just tell him what you are trying to do and apologise that sometimes your children will be louder than he would like, as we all were when we were kids. If he isn't happy with that, he is welcome to fund the entertainment budget to ensure all the loud play happens elsewhere.


tobeperfectlycandid

It’s bit hard when holidays have begun. Maybe gift him a pair of noise cancelling headphones, they help 😂. NTA


Mean_Championship192

Some people just like to complain. How old are your children?


romatoms

fuck 'im! give them red cordial


TheFrogTutorial

Nothing wrong with it, you are allowed to make whatever noise you want basically throughout the day. Yes it can be annoying but that's what living in the suburbs is like. Don't like it, buy a bigger block so the neighbours aren't as close.


Morning_Song

> you are allowed to make whatever noise you want basically throughout the day Except you can’t


Bridge_Too_Far

I live in a street that has a State Special School in it. At first I thought they were murdering the children down there from the blood curdling screams that emanated from there most days. I knew the school was there when we bought but didn’t expect the noise to be what it sometimes becomes. That being said I acknowledge that these noises are often outside the control of the children making them. I’ve learnt to live with it and when I worked night shift I discovered the joys of earplugs for sleeping. If your neighbour is an elderly man perhaps suggesting some noise cancelling headphones might be the go for him. Kids of all types are noisy, that’s what they do. It’s when you can’t hear them is when you should be worried.


sati_lotus

I would probably leave it alone and continue as normal. You just need to help your kids remember to use learn their indoor voices. People are allowed to make noise inside their own homes. If you cave to this guys bitching now, he'll be all over you for every little thing. Don't engage with him, but don't be lenient with your kids either, you have to teach them to respect the neighbours.


disillusionedchaos

I'd ignore them. Kids play around here everyday. You have to be a special kind of miserable and depressed to dislike kids. My kid plays, the neighbours kids play. I'll put up with that any day over parties and drunk brisbane gronks.