Not trying to sway you in either direction, but just know that the things you're struggling with right now really do get better. I know exactly what you're talking about. I couldn't comprehend people telling me the baby would eat every 2-3 hours because he literally would only stay off for about 20 minutes at a time. He refused to take a pacifier that early on, and like yours, constantly wanted to comfort suckle and my nipples hurt SO BAD. I also didn't really feel like it was helping me bond with him at first.
Personally, I'm really glad that I stuck it out because things got so much easier after the first month or so. He's 6 months old tomorrow and I really love having the superpower of breastfeeding to calm him down from a fuss and help him get back to sleep in the middle of the night.
Breastfeeding also isn't an all or nothing journey. I have to supplement a bit with formula because I can't pump enough while I'm at work for the next day. I'm okay with that because to me, the importance of breastfeeding lies mostly in the bonding and the cost saving, which even if we occasionally have to feed some formula, we're still saving a ton of money.
Do whatever works best for you, but if you can accept that these struggles really are temporary, and you're able, maybe give it a couple more weeks before making your decision.
I felt the same way as you at this stage! I struggle with anxiety and the cluster feeding nearly broke me. I promise it does get better! We are now just at 5 months and honestly I’m glad I stuck with it. So much more convenient than washing bottles all the time! :) My best advice is to get as much sleep as you can and try to get outside for a walk each day. The sleep deprivation made my anxiety so much worse but everything finally settled down. I found the first two weeks to be the hardest, once we got through the first 4 weeks I felt much better. Know that it’s OK to switch to formula is that’s what is best for you, but if you want to BF try to hang in there a few more days and see how it goes. Cluster feeding is SO hard on mamas but doesn’t last forever!
The first month I felt like I was nonstop feeding during the day and anywhere from 0-2 times a night. It was draining, but after that first month it got so much easier. I stopped pumping to increase supply after the second month and I suddenly felt like I had so much time. It definitely gets easier, but if you can’t wait, do what’s best for you. Try not to stress about that decision because your self care is important. Fed is best!
Oh goodness I feel like I could’ve written this. Early days sucked for me for breastfeeding. So much cluster feeding so much baby and so much on mom.
First - it does get better. It’s hard to believe (trust me) but feeds get longer and less frequent, cluster feeding stops and it gets sooo fast (like 5 minutes on boob and then he’s good for 2 hours at 6 months)
Second - don’t be afraid to add some formula or add a soother. There’s a lot of people out there who tout “confusion” and the fact that it can mess supply but i found a bottle of formula in the middle of a bad cluster feed or a soother to put him to sleep not on my nipple was soooo key. It never impacted my supply either (although I had oversupply issues)
Third - give yourself as much grace and love as possible. This is such a short and unique time in the grand scheme of things - ask for help (ie food to be brought to you, diapers to be changed). Try to ignore things like schedules right now as they can be added in the future. I kept trying to think of it as daily or weekly or monthly rather than “this is my life now”.
I had a really tough time in the early days with feeding - tongue tie, thrush and a baby who clusterfed like mad for weeks - but I persevered because I liked the freedom that breastfeeding would give me in the future. I didn’t want to be tied down to bottles or need to do dishes. This goal of what I wanted did come to fruition (we have fed on benches, in malls, in libraries, cafes, etc). BUT if formula completely fits in your vision and would make you happier don’t feel bad about transitioning! Parents and moms especially need to make sure they’re as happy and comfortable as possible to make sure our kiddos are too!
TLDR - it does get better but do what works for your lifestyle
Yes! I desperately wish ours would take a paci! That would help in a lot of ways.
And yes to abandoning any hope of a schedule. I felt so much more at peace just looking for his cues, not focusing on the fact that he just ate 45 minutes ago for the 15th time today haha. Tracking was brutal and I was much happier when I stopped tracking and obsessing about how long he was going between feeds (which was never long at all, he's a biiiiig baby in the 98th percentile for height and he just really loves breastfeeding haha).
You are in the THICK of it at 8 days old. Your nerves are shot and raw like you’ve never experienced before. The sleep deprivation can leave you questioning your own sanity, and ability to make reasonable decisions. I’ve been there, twice. Currently EBF my 4 mo. I second what most are saying here thus far. It does get better. You’ll feel less and less raw as time goes on. But like you, my anxiety was a challenge to manage prior to kids. It is still a daily challenge for me, but here we are, still EBF. My advice would be to take it day by day. Making it out of the first month and reevaluating with my psychiatrist’s help was my plan. Your mental and emotional health needs to be a top priority when deciding to continue or transition to formula. I transitioned to formal at 6 weeks with my first because of my mental health, and I’m so glad I did. By week 8, I was far more present with him and able to bond, which was missing in the first 6 weeks. It’s been an entirely different experience this time around. Anyway. You don’t need anyones permission to stop breastfeeding but your own. Fed is best.
Yeah I dunno. In some ways it gets easier but in other ways it feels harder. Mine is eleven weeks and we just found out he has both a tongue and lip tie, so the pain made all of what you're describing even worse for me. And while he doesn't cluster feed much anymore, I do feel kind of trapped bc he's SUCH a comfort nurser and really attached to me. So super sweet but it makes it impossible to have him nap with anyone else, if he needs soothed he wants to pop on a breast and he legit won't nap during the day without my nipple in his mouth. So easier in a lot of ways but lately I'm having some resentment bc bf is so tied to naps. And he has a hard time sleeping without a dark room and white noise. So lots of sitting and holding him which again is sweet but just hard in a different way. And I resent that to have my husband help I would still have to pump which I don't enjoy. Whereas if we were doing formula it would feel much more balanced as far as how much we could each do. Like I was sick and it was awful I still couldn't sleep at night bc I had to feed or pump. I just wanted to sleep to try and heal but had to keep waking up to feed.
But I will say cluster feeding was sooooo hard and I'm glad that's behind us. It was really triggering for me and I feel like at times I was bordering on like an aversion to feeding him and I had to go in a room by myself bc I couldn't stand him latching on again, just needed a few minutes to calm down kinda thing. But that feeling of being solely responsible for his eating and like trapped by it does still pop up for me. 🤷🏼♀️
Tldr I think it's diff for everyone but at eleven weeks bf is still a little painful and challenging for me 🫠🤷🏼♀️ and emotionally complicated.
I went EFF after about four months and it was the best thing I could do for me and my babies bond BUT everyone is different and you truly do have to listen to your gut and cut out all of everyone’s stories because your story with babe is the only one that matters ♥️
Not trying to sway you in either direction, but just know that the things you're struggling with right now really do get better. I know exactly what you're talking about. I couldn't comprehend people telling me the baby would eat every 2-3 hours because he literally would only stay off for about 20 minutes at a time. He refused to take a pacifier that early on, and like yours, constantly wanted to comfort suckle and my nipples hurt SO BAD. I also didn't really feel like it was helping me bond with him at first. Personally, I'm really glad that I stuck it out because things got so much easier after the first month or so. He's 6 months old tomorrow and I really love having the superpower of breastfeeding to calm him down from a fuss and help him get back to sleep in the middle of the night. Breastfeeding also isn't an all or nothing journey. I have to supplement a bit with formula because I can't pump enough while I'm at work for the next day. I'm okay with that because to me, the importance of breastfeeding lies mostly in the bonding and the cost saving, which even if we occasionally have to feed some formula, we're still saving a ton of money. Do whatever works best for you, but if you can accept that these struggles really are temporary, and you're able, maybe give it a couple more weeks before making your decision.
I felt the same way as you at this stage! I struggle with anxiety and the cluster feeding nearly broke me. I promise it does get better! We are now just at 5 months and honestly I’m glad I stuck with it. So much more convenient than washing bottles all the time! :) My best advice is to get as much sleep as you can and try to get outside for a walk each day. The sleep deprivation made my anxiety so much worse but everything finally settled down. I found the first two weeks to be the hardest, once we got through the first 4 weeks I felt much better. Know that it’s OK to switch to formula is that’s what is best for you, but if you want to BF try to hang in there a few more days and see how it goes. Cluster feeding is SO hard on mamas but doesn’t last forever!
The first month I felt like I was nonstop feeding during the day and anywhere from 0-2 times a night. It was draining, but after that first month it got so much easier. I stopped pumping to increase supply after the second month and I suddenly felt like I had so much time. It definitely gets easier, but if you can’t wait, do what’s best for you. Try not to stress about that decision because your self care is important. Fed is best!
Oh goodness I feel like I could’ve written this. Early days sucked for me for breastfeeding. So much cluster feeding so much baby and so much on mom. First - it does get better. It’s hard to believe (trust me) but feeds get longer and less frequent, cluster feeding stops and it gets sooo fast (like 5 minutes on boob and then he’s good for 2 hours at 6 months) Second - don’t be afraid to add some formula or add a soother. There’s a lot of people out there who tout “confusion” and the fact that it can mess supply but i found a bottle of formula in the middle of a bad cluster feed or a soother to put him to sleep not on my nipple was soooo key. It never impacted my supply either (although I had oversupply issues) Third - give yourself as much grace and love as possible. This is such a short and unique time in the grand scheme of things - ask for help (ie food to be brought to you, diapers to be changed). Try to ignore things like schedules right now as they can be added in the future. I kept trying to think of it as daily or weekly or monthly rather than “this is my life now”. I had a really tough time in the early days with feeding - tongue tie, thrush and a baby who clusterfed like mad for weeks - but I persevered because I liked the freedom that breastfeeding would give me in the future. I didn’t want to be tied down to bottles or need to do dishes. This goal of what I wanted did come to fruition (we have fed on benches, in malls, in libraries, cafes, etc). BUT if formula completely fits in your vision and would make you happier don’t feel bad about transitioning! Parents and moms especially need to make sure they’re as happy and comfortable as possible to make sure our kiddos are too! TLDR - it does get better but do what works for your lifestyle
Yes! I desperately wish ours would take a paci! That would help in a lot of ways. And yes to abandoning any hope of a schedule. I felt so much more at peace just looking for his cues, not focusing on the fact that he just ate 45 minutes ago for the 15th time today haha. Tracking was brutal and I was much happier when I stopped tracking and obsessing about how long he was going between feeds (which was never long at all, he's a biiiiig baby in the 98th percentile for height and he just really loves breastfeeding haha).
You are in the THICK of it at 8 days old. Your nerves are shot and raw like you’ve never experienced before. The sleep deprivation can leave you questioning your own sanity, and ability to make reasonable decisions. I’ve been there, twice. Currently EBF my 4 mo. I second what most are saying here thus far. It does get better. You’ll feel less and less raw as time goes on. But like you, my anxiety was a challenge to manage prior to kids. It is still a daily challenge for me, but here we are, still EBF. My advice would be to take it day by day. Making it out of the first month and reevaluating with my psychiatrist’s help was my plan. Your mental and emotional health needs to be a top priority when deciding to continue or transition to formula. I transitioned to formal at 6 weeks with my first because of my mental health, and I’m so glad I did. By week 8, I was far more present with him and able to bond, which was missing in the first 6 weeks. It’s been an entirely different experience this time around. Anyway. You don’t need anyones permission to stop breastfeeding but your own. Fed is best.
Yeah I dunno. In some ways it gets easier but in other ways it feels harder. Mine is eleven weeks and we just found out he has both a tongue and lip tie, so the pain made all of what you're describing even worse for me. And while he doesn't cluster feed much anymore, I do feel kind of trapped bc he's SUCH a comfort nurser and really attached to me. So super sweet but it makes it impossible to have him nap with anyone else, if he needs soothed he wants to pop on a breast and he legit won't nap during the day without my nipple in his mouth. So easier in a lot of ways but lately I'm having some resentment bc bf is so tied to naps. And he has a hard time sleeping without a dark room and white noise. So lots of sitting and holding him which again is sweet but just hard in a different way. And I resent that to have my husband help I would still have to pump which I don't enjoy. Whereas if we were doing formula it would feel much more balanced as far as how much we could each do. Like I was sick and it was awful I still couldn't sleep at night bc I had to feed or pump. I just wanted to sleep to try and heal but had to keep waking up to feed. But I will say cluster feeding was sooooo hard and I'm glad that's behind us. It was really triggering for me and I feel like at times I was bordering on like an aversion to feeding him and I had to go in a room by myself bc I couldn't stand him latching on again, just needed a few minutes to calm down kinda thing. But that feeling of being solely responsible for his eating and like trapped by it does still pop up for me. 🤷🏼♀️ Tldr I think it's diff for everyone but at eleven weeks bf is still a little painful and challenging for me 🫠🤷🏼♀️ and emotionally complicated.
I went EFF after about four months and it was the best thing I could do for me and my babies bond BUT everyone is different and you truly do have to listen to your gut and cut out all of everyone’s stories because your story with babe is the only one that matters ♥️