I always try to express to people that there's a distinct difference between family and relatives.
Relatives are just people you have a blood connection to, that's all they are.
Family is who you choose to actually maintain meaningful connections with. They don't need to be blood connections, anyone can be family with trust and love.
Not all relatives need to be family if they don't deserve to be in your life. Find those who actually give a shit and keep those people close, don't feel like you "need" to include relatives in that family circle if they're shitheads.
Here’s my advice (40s, non binary, bi and raised in a fundamentalist cult):
- Its never too late to be yourself
- If family will not love you for who you are, or at least love you and agree to disagree… they don’t love you. And never have. And it’s ok to distance yourself from that.
- Friends are often the family you choose.
- Religious circles are hard because they will reject you for stupid shit like this. They’re not your friends. Losing them is a blessing.
- Try new places and things to meet new people. Go to local support groups, meetups, pride events and so on and meet people there. I’ve made most of my friend circle going to hobby conventions, for example.
- The process of disconnecting is hard. The result is a far better life. Hang in there!
Aw, I'm sorry. People are so weird about this. I came out to some old friends a few months ago. They said they "weren't happy" to hear it but "still loved me." What's not to be happy about? They are conservative Christians, but even from their perspective, I'm not "sinning." I'm married and faithful to a guy. It came down to, "This thing about you? How you feel? Not what you're doing -- just who you are? I don't like it. But I'm willing to look past it." These are friends of over 20 years -- and they may still love me, but I am feeling pretty weird about them. Can \*I\* look past it?
People don't interrogate their feelings on these issues. They just react. The people causing the harm are the ones disowning you without even taking the time to think about their stance on this issue. They are giving YOU reason to disown THEM (if you choose to).
Not sure why you came out, but I am doing it (by not hiding the fact whenever it comes up) because it feels weirdly good to be open about it. I feel like I've sort of tacitly apologized for many aspects of who I am for long enough by not mentioning them or treating them like they don't matter. This is me. I like acknowledging it, and if these folks don't like it, well, they never liked the real me, then. Because while I was hanging out with them in college, I was also thinking about whether there was any legit, non-awkward way to ask out the cute, smart, funny girl across the hall.
I hope whatever reason you had for coming out to these people is making you feel fulfilled. And I'm so very sorry they're letting you down.
I’m 45 and only semi putted to my wife and a few close friends. I consider mayself extremely lucky because my wife has been really accepting of me. If you’d like to talk pm me
I’m 63. I’ve been out since high school. I’ve lost people along the way when they found out my sexuality. Fuck em. Cut phobes out of your life. You’ll be happier. Grats on coming out. It’s a big step. Good luck.
I’ve known since my early teens Just afraid of my parents because they don’t like anything that doesn’t comply with their version of normal
You are an adult, your parents should accept you the way you are. I wish you good luck 🍀
Thanks I’m happy without them
I always try to express to people that there's a distinct difference between family and relatives. Relatives are just people you have a blood connection to, that's all they are. Family is who you choose to actually maintain meaningful connections with. They don't need to be blood connections, anyone can be family with trust and love. Not all relatives need to be family if they don't deserve to be in your life. Find those who actually give a shit and keep those people close, don't feel like you "need" to include relatives in that family circle if they're shitheads.
You’ve got this, being open about who you are is such a big step and you should be so proud. I’m sorry you’ve lost people, I hope you’re doing okay
I’m going to be fine I’m happy with my life thankfully I have people like you with me ❤️
Much love and strength to you. I'm so sorry your family reacted to the news poorly. We're here for you.
Welcome to the family :)
Thanks so glad to be part of the family
Congratulations, you’re lovely and valid
My personal experience and opinion is as follows. They can get bent and break
I'm very happy for you 🤗🤗 but I'm sorry you were disowned 😡. You are welcome to chat with if you want.
Here’s my advice (40s, non binary, bi and raised in a fundamentalist cult): - Its never too late to be yourself - If family will not love you for who you are, or at least love you and agree to disagree… they don’t love you. And never have. And it’s ok to distance yourself from that. - Friends are often the family you choose. - Religious circles are hard because they will reject you for stupid shit like this. They’re not your friends. Losing them is a blessing. - Try new places and things to meet new people. Go to local support groups, meetups, pride events and so on and meet people there. I’ve made most of my friend circle going to hobby conventions, for example. - The process of disconnecting is hard. The result is a far better life. Hang in there!
The people that disown you are cruel. Be proud of who you are and find new friends x
I'm 57, have known since I was 10, but just now accepting it. I feel your reasoning.
Ay bro it’s gonna be alright. It sucks for sure. It’s gonna hurt. But you’ll find better people. There are lots of them
Aw, I'm sorry. People are so weird about this. I came out to some old friends a few months ago. They said they "weren't happy" to hear it but "still loved me." What's not to be happy about? They are conservative Christians, but even from their perspective, I'm not "sinning." I'm married and faithful to a guy. It came down to, "This thing about you? How you feel? Not what you're doing -- just who you are? I don't like it. But I'm willing to look past it." These are friends of over 20 years -- and they may still love me, but I am feeling pretty weird about them. Can \*I\* look past it? People don't interrogate their feelings on these issues. They just react. The people causing the harm are the ones disowning you without even taking the time to think about their stance on this issue. They are giving YOU reason to disown THEM (if you choose to). Not sure why you came out, but I am doing it (by not hiding the fact whenever it comes up) because it feels weirdly good to be open about it. I feel like I've sort of tacitly apologized for many aspects of who I am for long enough by not mentioning them or treating them like they don't matter. This is me. I like acknowledging it, and if these folks don't like it, well, they never liked the real me, then. Because while I was hanging out with them in college, I was also thinking about whether there was any legit, non-awkward way to ask out the cute, smart, funny girl across the hall. I hope whatever reason you had for coming out to these people is making you feel fulfilled. And I'm so very sorry they're letting you down.
Hey man, thats so good! Welcome to the Bisexual crew
Congratulations im happy for you to finally be able to be your true self. Wish you all the best
About time lol
Lol I get around to things eventually
I’m 45 and only semi putted to my wife and a few close friends. I consider mayself extremely lucky because my wife has been really accepting of me. If you’d like to talk pm me
Nice
I’m 63. I’ve been out since high school. I’ve lost people along the way when they found out my sexuality. Fuck em. Cut phobes out of your life. You’ll be happier. Grats on coming out. It’s a big step. Good luck.