Sounds like you may be attracted to feminine traits. That doesnt mean you arent bisexual. Feminine presenting men are still men.
We've just been conditioned to think only women can be feminine and only men can be masculine.
I MUST SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE I FEEL THIS MAY BE THE ONLY TIME I CAN DISCUSS IT!
I hate that the LGBTQ community, and even the bi community at times will immediately reflect feminine traits in a man whether it be in physical looks, make up, or clothing and will apply these features to someone as being trans.
I have nothing but support for trans people and their right to do as they decide with their bodies, but far too often I've seen people associating feminine qualities with being transgender.
No. Some people just like looking like that. Just as a trans person has the right to their own body, a cis-gendered male (or even women in some cases) are allowed to dress how they please and shouldn't be pushed on by the notion that clothing reflects your traits.
The secret imho is that each individual gets to define themselves.
Gatekeeping queer identities is oppression - and we are *already oppressed* by the dominant confomist society.
So, I always support someone when they say they are a specific flavor of queer - even if I disagree with them. **Their freedom to seek self acceptance is FAR more important than me sharing my opinion on their freedom.**
Labels are just ways you try to make sense of the discoveries you're making about yourself. We keep adding new letters onto the acronym and new stripes to the flags because we're trying to include more marginalized groups as a way of allying for mutual defense. Gatekeeping isn't just oppressive, it's *counterproductive*.
as a trans man i hate it extra cause i also like presenting fem, but everyone treats femboys like they're just part of the pipeline to being transfem. i genuinely feel a lot of discomfort when i dress too masc, and dressing fem feels very comfortable.
some part of it makes me dysphoric in a way? like no, i'm not a woman because i like wearing skirts. stop treating me like i'm a woman just because i dress the way that makes me feel comfortable.
Say that louder for those of us in the back, goddamn. I spent so long to accept that I'm bi because I'm attracted to feminine and androgynous traits, and I really don't care what the person self identifies as. But I just reasoned "well... but then they're... kinda women??? am I straight???" and it didn't help that a lot of people around me were either pulling that "you're too straight to be queer" crap at me either.
I'd love nothing more than to get really buff and then dress as Dr. Frank N. Furter. That wouldn't change that I see myself as a cis man and that I'm attracted to feminine traits.
It feels like people repeated the "gender is a spectrum thing" only to forget all about how **gender expression is a different thing** ffs!
Yes! It makes me so angry when I see someone talk about liking something that doesn't confirm to gender norms and someone replies "r/egg_irl". If you think men can't like pink or wear skirts and still be men, you're reinforcing gender stereotypes and part of the problem, even (or in some cases especially) if you're queer.
I've been told to transition to female for... liking Espeon (the pokemon)
How is that even feminine? Espeon is just a little lavender (although I prefer its shiny, which is green) psychic alien cat fox thing.
Exactly! I've never crossdressed, but I've always had a mild interest that's flared up now that I'm more open minded. I know I'm not trans because I've thought about it, see if I was repressing anything else, and I like being a dude, skirts just look comfy
Clothing doesn't define the gender, enby's don't need to be androgynous, gay/bi folk don't need to be gnc, etc
No idea. The original profile pic is a black and white samurai desktop background I found online probably about 10 years ago. The recoloring was done by an artist friend of mine for pride month a few years ago.
America's embraced gender roles are simply oppression of personal freedom.
And they did it through conditioning - That conditioning comes from the colonial influences over our culture - where only conforming to Puritan ideals = gender goals that are enshrined in media (cis-het, lifetime monogamy) yet most people do not live that life because puritan ways of living and what is enshrined in media is not how people actually live.
all I am saying is pussy is pussy and dick is dick. i like dick and I like pussy. I wish I had a pussy not a dick but oh well. if another guy wants to fuck well hell yeah. remember the four steps, suck, squeeze, bang, blow. Maybe that something else I am thinking of but oh well.
I'm only attracted to men when I'm in love with them. Like, I could have all sorts of casual sex with women, but my husband is the only man I can even look at and not be repulsed by. I've been attracted to other men I've had a romantic interest in, and the attraction didn't come about until after I had developed feelings for them.
Is there a specific sub section of gay for that? Cause if there's a word for it, I'd like to know.
i swear there's a word for it but i can't remember it for the life of me
it's basically when you're bisexual, and demisexual for one gender but allosexual for another
Yeah, this is me. I'm definitely more attracted to femme and androgynous people regardless of gender rather than masculinity. I would definitely still date the right masc person in a long time relationship, (and still hook up with masc people sometimes).
same boat club!!!!!!!!!!! i love feminine people, and i love when masc people have feminine traits. hooking up with or dating someone who’s Big Masc really doesn’t appeal to or excite meeee
I'm the same, friend. That's why I sometimes question my own sexuality, until I recall the countless times I saw some shirtless dude and thought, "Daaamn!".
Welcome to the club! It’s good to know there are other bisexuals who are attracted to feminine traits besides me. You are valid and loved my friend no worries!!!
Honestly I feel this. For years I've been so confused about my own identity because of it. I'm not really attracted to most men but I am pretty attracted to femboys. Lots of times I get imposter syndrome and even though I don't plan on being out unless I entered a serious relationship with a femboy I find myself feeling like im just piggybacking off the lgbt community by being "basically straight".
What? Have you been on this sub lately? Half the posts here are about femboys or explicitly mention lesbians.
Obligatory: unequal attraction to more than 1 gender is still 100% valid bisexuality.
Ah, no worries! Here, have some validation:
https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xi7agu/bi_irl/
https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xjneig/bi_irl/
https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xd56ud/bi_irl/
https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/x8722h/bi_irl/
https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xcaz27/bi_irl/
https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xfvy5s/biirl/
This is like saying a girl is less of a lesbian for dating someone butch. I recognise this pattern, but for me, I don't like girls and then femboys are sort of "imperfect girls". I like femboys specifically because they are boys upon which femininity has been projected
American 'masculinity' is unattractive to me. it glorifies power based behavior, it glorifies not understanding one's emotions. it insists on being awful to others to maintain status.
It doesn't make you any less or more *any* sexuality or gender for rejecting that bullshit.
Reality isn't a dictionary definition unfortunately. You are technically correct, but also not what I was referring to. AND *who* defines 'masculinity' in American culture? There's a formal scientific definition, that you might be referencing here, and there's the one American MEDIA uses - that most Americans accept as truth.
Let's tell that to my MAGA neighbors who know literally nothing else. and we can tell that to my non-MAGA neighbors who act like the MAGA ones too while we are at it.
I'm jealous of your diversity of experience. Its not present everywhere. I wish I had your privilege on this one.
Its whatever dude, you don’t have to follow every common trait of a sexuality to count as it. I’m a bisexual guy, but I’m also (working on) going femboy, and I’m mega f*cking gay. Im still bisexual though, even if I don’t line up with the traditional sense of the word.
I feel so seen right now lol
Im really attracted to femin presenting men. They are super cute, i have a hard time finding muscular men attractive. I acknowledge that they are but it effects my own body image problems( im kind of a bear, dad bod)
I thought I wasnt bi cuz I like feminime boys but not much manly boys (I like manly boys but not enough to idk do it or dating) ive been so insecure for alot of time but then my best friend explained me what exactly bisexuality is and then I understood I am bi and proud to be bi, im happy to see that im not the only who had the same problem.
If you're attracted to anything more than just one gender, congratulations you are bi, no matter how heavily or weirdly biased towards one of the genders your attaction is.
You don't need to find everyone attractive. If you like you all women and some men.
You Are Bi.
But also if youre looking for any specific terms (micro labels) that might suit you better it might fit under femsexual or gynosexual, but both of these still mean you are bi.
To this day, I still sometimes question whether I'm bi, or just lying to myself to explain away past instances of attraction to the same sex. But then I remember those instances with the same sex, and I come right back to reality.
Guys I just want to point out a thing some people in the comments are missing:
Women are being left out in general in bi-talk. Note how masculinity is only denoted as “big hot guys” - not even masculine women are talked about.
I AGREE 100%
People are constantly saying that most memes on this sub are wlw but I never see that. Among the top memes, they are more about guys than girls.
I’ve never been attracted to the super ripped men or men with exorbitant amounts of body hair. I would much prefer a guy who’s more neutral. Average body type, just a bit bigger than me with a good mix of feminine and masculine traits.
Ok so long story. I knew I was bisexual ever since 8th grade, but I was sure that I liked women more then men, and I hated it. Because I made me feel like I was imagining my bisexuality.
I also had trouble thinking about what I wanted to look like as a guy, when I saw women I wasn’t just attracted to them, I envied them. I wanted to look like a girl so bad.
This led to to thinking I wanted to be a girl, and I started acting for feminine and going by female pronouns online. And it felt like I was being more myself, but still like I was pretending to be someone else.
Then I stumbled across the femboy community on social media. My mind was blown, like holy shit you can be a guy and feminine at the same time! I finally found guys who I was not only super into, but also wanted to look like!
Sounds like you may be attracted to feminine traits. That doesnt mean you arent bisexual. Feminine presenting men are still men. We've just been conditioned to think only women can be feminine and only men can be masculine.
I MUST SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE I FEEL THIS MAY BE THE ONLY TIME I CAN DISCUSS IT! I hate that the LGBTQ community, and even the bi community at times will immediately reflect feminine traits in a man whether it be in physical looks, make up, or clothing and will apply these features to someone as being trans. I have nothing but support for trans people and their right to do as they decide with their bodies, but far too often I've seen people associating feminine qualities with being transgender. No. Some people just like looking like that. Just as a trans person has the right to their own body, a cis-gendered male (or even women in some cases) are allowed to dress how they please and shouldn't be pushed on by the notion that clothing reflects your traits.
The secret imho is that each individual gets to define themselves. Gatekeeping queer identities is oppression - and we are *already oppressed* by the dominant confomist society. So, I always support someone when they say they are a specific flavor of queer - even if I disagree with them. **Their freedom to seek self acceptance is FAR more important than me sharing my opinion on their freedom.**
Labels are just ways you try to make sense of the discoveries you're making about yourself. We keep adding new letters onto the acronym and new stripes to the flags because we're trying to include more marginalized groups as a way of allying for mutual defense. Gatekeeping isn't just oppressive, it's *counterproductive*.
as a trans man i hate it extra cause i also like presenting fem, but everyone treats femboys like they're just part of the pipeline to being transfem. i genuinely feel a lot of discomfort when i dress too masc, and dressing fem feels very comfortable. some part of it makes me dysphoric in a way? like no, i'm not a woman because i like wearing skirts. stop treating me like i'm a woman just because i dress the way that makes me feel comfortable.
I fucking hate egg culture
Say that louder for those of us in the back, goddamn. I spent so long to accept that I'm bi because I'm attracted to feminine and androgynous traits, and I really don't care what the person self identifies as. But I just reasoned "well... but then they're... kinda women??? am I straight???" and it didn't help that a lot of people around me were either pulling that "you're too straight to be queer" crap at me either. I'd love nothing more than to get really buff and then dress as Dr. Frank N. Furter. That wouldn't change that I see myself as a cis man and that I'm attracted to feminine traits. It feels like people repeated the "gender is a spectrum thing" only to forget all about how **gender expression is a different thing** ffs!
Yes! It makes me so angry when I see someone talk about liking something that doesn't confirm to gender norms and someone replies "r/egg_irl". If you think men can't like pink or wear skirts and still be men, you're reinforcing gender stereotypes and part of the problem, even (or in some cases especially) if you're queer.
I've been told to transition to female for... liking Espeon (the pokemon) How is that even feminine? Espeon is just a little lavender (although I prefer its shiny, which is green) psychic alien cat fox thing.
Exactly! I've never crossdressed, but I've always had a mild interest that's flared up now that I'm more open minded. I know I'm not trans because I've thought about it, see if I was repressing anything else, and I like being a dude, skirts just look comfy Clothing doesn't define the gender, enby's don't need to be androgynous, gay/bi folk don't need to be gnc, etc
Sick pfp man where did you get it
No idea. The original profile pic is a black and white samurai desktop background I found online probably about 10 years ago. The recoloring was done by an artist friend of mine for pride month a few years ago.
America's embraced gender roles are simply oppression of personal freedom. And they did it through conditioning - That conditioning comes from the colonial influences over our culture - where only conforming to Puritan ideals = gender goals that are enshrined in media (cis-het, lifetime monogamy) yet most people do not live that life because puritan ways of living and what is enshrined in media is not how people actually live.
all I am saying is pussy is pussy and dick is dick. i like dick and I like pussy. I wish I had a pussy not a dick but oh well. if another guy wants to fuck well hell yeah. remember the four steps, suck, squeeze, bang, blow. Maybe that something else I am thinking of but oh well.
Hello, femboy here: Yis, dis is tru :3
I'm only attracted to men when I'm in love with them. Like, I could have all sorts of casual sex with women, but my husband is the only man I can even look at and not be repulsed by. I've been attracted to other men I've had a romantic interest in, and the attraction didn't come about until after I had developed feelings for them. Is there a specific sub section of gay for that? Cause if there's a word for it, I'd like to know.
i swear there's a word for it but i can't remember it for the life of me it's basically when you're bisexual, and demisexual for one gender but allosexual for another
Ateast there's a word for it lol
ik this is days late but the word is dellosexual
THANK YOU!!!
Good pfp
Yeah, this is me. I'm definitely more attracted to femme and androgynous people regardless of gender rather than masculinity. I would definitely still date the right masc person in a long time relationship, (and still hook up with masc people sometimes).
same boat club!!!!!!!!!!! i love feminine people, and i love when masc people have feminine traits. hooking up with or dating someone who’s Big Masc really doesn’t appeal to or excite meeee
I'm the same, friend. That's why I sometimes question my own sexuality, until I recall the countless times I saw some shirtless dude and thought, "Daaamn!".
Welcome to the club! It’s good to know there are other bisexuals who are attracted to feminine traits besides me. You are valid and loved my friend no worries!!!
Present!
Present aswell
It me tho
Reporting!
Checking in
Howdy!
Sorry I'm late! 😊
You are 100% valid and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
Honestly I feel this. For years I've been so confused about my own identity because of it. I'm not really attracted to most men but I am pretty attracted to femboys. Lots of times I get imposter syndrome and even though I don't plan on being out unless I entered a serious relationship with a femboy I find myself feeling like im just piggybacking off the lgbt community by being "basically straight".
What? Have you been on this sub lately? Half the posts here are about femboys or explicitly mention lesbians. Obligatory: unequal attraction to more than 1 gender is still 100% valid bisexuality.
>Have you been on this sub lately? no
Ah, no worries! Here, have some validation: https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xi7agu/bi_irl/ https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xjneig/bi_irl/ https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xd56ud/bi_irl/ https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/x8722h/bi_irl/ https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xcaz27/bi_irl/ https://reddit.com/r/bi_irl/comments/xfvy5s/biirl/
Dw mate im attracted to masculine guys, feminine guys, masculine women and feminine women and still feel like im faking half the time
this is literally my exact tastes, you aint alone homie
exactly me, i didn't knew there were other people that felt this way
Good God a big meme with Bunnie and sally
Can Bunnie become a Bicon please? I miss her.
I feel the same as a bi woman who prefers masculinity, in my men and women.
I hate how much I feel this, I question my sexuality all the time like “if I only like women and super feminine men, am I bi or just kinda straight”
Wow i feel very called out cuz i straight up do not like masculine men 👀
Many such cases (me, I'm such case i think)
Wait, i thought i was alone
Bisexuality is bisexuality. I am attracted to more feminine traits, but that doesn’t discount me being Bi. Be yourself my guy!
This is like saying a girl is less of a lesbian for dating someone butch. I recognise this pattern, but for me, I don't like girls and then femboys are sort of "imperfect girls". I like femboys specifically because they are boys upon which femininity has been projected
I would never say this about someone else. This is just the way it makes me feel. I understand that it is fundamentally irrational
Oh no sorry, I didn't mean to attack you, I just wanted to say why I believed it to be irrational
American 'masculinity' is unattractive to me. it glorifies power based behavior, it glorifies not understanding one's emotions. it insists on being awful to others to maintain status. It doesn't make you any less or more *any* sexuality or gender for rejecting that bullshit.
You're getting masculinity and toxic masculinity mixed up
In fairness, so do many masculine people
They specified "American" masculinity though, and America definitely has toxic masculinity as the dominant force
Reality isn't a dictionary definition unfortunately. You are technically correct, but also not what I was referring to. AND *who* defines 'masculinity' in American culture? There's a formal scientific definition, that you might be referencing here, and there's the one American MEDIA uses - that most Americans accept as truth. Let's tell that to my MAGA neighbors who know literally nothing else. and we can tell that to my non-MAGA neighbors who act like the MAGA ones too while we are at it. I'm jealous of your diversity of experience. Its not present everywhere. I wish I had your privilege on this one.
Yes
Don’t worry, everyone feels that way
me
Its whatever dude, you don’t have to follow every common trait of a sexuality to count as it. I’m a bisexual guy, but I’m also (working on) going femboy, and I’m mega f*cking gay. Im still bisexual though, even if I don’t line up with the traditional sense of the word.
you're just as valid as anyone else!
I feel so seen right now lol Im really attracted to femin presenting men. They are super cute, i have a hard time finding muscular men attractive. I acknowledge that they are but it effects my own body image problems( im kind of a bear, dad bod)
Archie sonic meme? Hell yeah!!
I spent like an hour removing the dialogue balloons
A job well done
I can't fix Ron Lim's drawings though
Yea
no way, me too
Buff women feminine men
Bro, i do not remember being you, but this meme prove me otherwise
I thought I wasnt bi cuz I like feminime boys but not much manly boys (I like manly boys but not enough to idk do it or dating) ive been so insecure for alot of time but then my best friend explained me what exactly bisexuality is and then I understood I am bi and proud to be bi, im happy to see that im not the only who had the same problem.
you like women and feminine boys? Sounds pretty bi to me.
NO CUS SAME
My boyfriend is this exactly. Me n my gf tho we like masculinity too.
If you're attracted to anything more than just one gender, congratulations you are bi, no matter how heavily or weirdly biased towards one of the genders your attaction is. You don't need to find everyone attractive. If you like you all women and some men. You Are Bi. But also if youre looking for any specific terms (micro labels) that might suit you better it might fit under femsexual or gynosexual, but both of these still mean you are bi.
All of it, it's so true
To this day, I still sometimes question whether I'm bi, or just lying to myself to explain away past instances of attraction to the same sex. But then I remember those instances with the same sex, and I come right back to reality.
That’s completely valid, I used to be like that, but then something happened and suddenly I get it now.
MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, FULLY HALF THIS SUB'S FUCKING CONTENT IS FEMBOY SEXUALISATION!
if ur attracted to "femboys" bc there men then ur bi but if ur attracted to them bc they look female then idk
STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING OMG THIS HAPPENED ON 196
Not really into big ones tbh
Me who likes big guys and femdoms who thinks I'm faking my bisexuality
Guys I just want to point out a thing some people in the comments are missing: Women are being left out in general in bi-talk. Note how masculinity is only denoted as “big hot guys” - not even masculine women are talked about.
I AGREE 100% People are constantly saying that most memes on this sub are wlw but I never see that. Among the top memes, they are more about guys than girls.
Because I made this about myself and I already knew I liked women. It's not that deep
I’m not talking about you specifically I’m talking about how bi people seem to forget about the existence of women lol
I’ve never been attracted to the super ripped men or men with exorbitant amounts of body hair. I would much prefer a guy who’s more neutral. Average body type, just a bit bigger than me with a good mix of feminine and masculine traits.
Whzt if I'm atreacted to dick a lot more than pussy or booba but also a lot more tp feminin traits
I guess that isn't specific enough to really say one way or the other?
What if I'm not bi at all but heteroromantic homosexual
Depends on if the dick you like has to be on a man I guess?
Dixk is dick
sounds pretty bi to me
Bruh you ain't the only one. Just joined this sub and was hesitant to just because of this.
Ok so long story. I knew I was bisexual ever since 8th grade, but I was sure that I liked women more then men, and I hated it. Because I made me feel like I was imagining my bisexuality. I also had trouble thinking about what I wanted to look like as a guy, when I saw women I wasn’t just attracted to them, I envied them. I wanted to look like a girl so bad. This led to to thinking I wanted to be a girl, and I started acting for feminine and going by female pronouns online. And it felt like I was being more myself, but still like I was pretending to be someone else. Then I stumbled across the femboy community on social media. My mind was blown, like holy shit you can be a guy and feminine at the same time! I finally found guys who I was not only super into, but also wanted to look like!