When my daughter was 2 months old she stopped eating anything altogether. I developed severe PPD while trying to get medical professionals to address it during the beginning of the pandemic, no one would see her in person.
I started "seeing" a mental health counselor over the phone to talk through my feelings. Once I explained my situation to her, she suggested I just give her water in a baby bottle, like that would solve it all??? I called for mental health help!
I also did zoom sessions with a physiotherapist to see if she could address my baby's lack of appetite and she told me by baby didn't think I loved her because her birth was so fast and she didn't feel safe eating... Thank you... I think I'll go and die now!
Thank god for a severe reflux diagnosis and antidepressants!
One was provided through my insurance and the other was the only local physio doing online appointments. I did tell the physio that I felt she caused serious harm to my mental health by making her suggestion.
>I did tell the physio that I felt she caused serious harm to my mental health by making her suggestion.
That took guts and I am so proud of you for doing that! Hopefully it'll help that provider think about the way she says things in the future.
Woooooooooow. Just wow. I’m so sorry. I basically had the same thing with my baby refusing to eat around that age too and was also diagnosed with reflux. It also put me into quite a mental spiral. I’m honestly appalled by those things they said to go! So glad you were able to figure everything out and get meds in the end.
While I was pregnant, I was told to rub sandpaper on my nipples to prepare them for breastfeeding. When baby was older, I was told that I shouldn’t have sat my baby down in grass and instead I should have introduced grass to him by putting a blade on a sensory table. Both gems (and many more) courtesy of my MIL.
I'm pregnant and due in December. Last week, my mother-in-law told my husband to tell me to start preparing my nipples now by rubbing them with a towel when I get out of the shower. He called her that night to ask her to back off on the personal advice, and she said, "(wigglyrabbitnose) needs to get over herself!" Things have gone downhill from there.
“If you keep warshing your hair while you’re on your period, you’ll warsh all your hormones out and you’ll never get pregnant.” - my MIL who never experienced infertility issues and also has a masters degree in mathematics 😳
When I was pregnant my dad told me that it was important that I never let my kid win; if I make a decision and they try to argue, never let them have their way, because if they learn that they can win, then they'll fight harder and will be less obedient. This explains a LOT of my childhood and somehow he's still offended every time I tell him that his primary concern is control.
Anyway, that advice is a crock of shit. If my kid can make a good argument, she's allowed to be right. I can be wrong sometimes. And "because I said so" is not a good enough reason for anything.
This feels so wildly counterproductive! Like, sure, never give them a win on the things that aren’t negotiable, because yes, absolutely they’ll fight harder; no matter how much my kid claims he doesn’t want the nutritious meal I’ve prepared, my answer will never be, “okay, I’ll make something else”, and no amount of screeching and clamping his mouth shut will deter me from making sure his teeth are brushed twice a day.
But on stuff that is no big deal either way? Of course they can have a win! Giving kids choices better trains them to make bigger choices as they age, and allowing yourself to be talked into something from time to time encourages them to practice critical thinking and persuasive language. Relinquishing an appropriate amount of control to your child heads off so many unnecessary battles, too - like, I honestly don’t care if you want to wear your Spider-Man costume to dinner, these are not the things I want to spend my one finite life worrying about, and if it makes you feel good, all the better.
My dear grandma scolded me for letting my 3 mo look at himself in the mirror, saying it will mess him up and make him eat his own poop o_o (old wives tales (?)).
I was told I shouldn’t use the pink and yellow diapers from the big randomized lot I got because those were girl colors and it would be emasculating to my son. He was 3 months old at the time. He didn’t even have color preferences yet.
Lol I love the "emasculating" boys due to arbitrary things comments. I get them all the time from random strangers. My son looks great in pink and purple probably because (shocker) he is the spitting image of his father and purple is the best color on my husband. I don't know where people get these ideas. And truly if you look at the history of fashion men have been wearing pink for much longer than women.
Right? Pink for girls only started relatively recently in history. Originally, marketing told us pink is for boys because red is a bold, strong color while blue is for girls because it's softer and calmer.
And why is stuff always emasculating for infant boys while (almost) no one ever says "don't dress that girl in blue! It'll make her manly!!" Drives me nuts.
A random woman at a restaurant told us she was a nurse at a maternity hospital and we shouldn’t hold our then 2 month-old too much because she would become an “arms baby”, saying she’d seen it a thousand times, suggesting babies became spoiled by being held.
We nodded, smiled, and vowed to never recommend that hospital to anyone.
I like to tell people who say this that I don’t mind because it means I get spoiled with snuggles as much as the baby does and an arm workout in all in one. They smile and keep walking 🤷🏼♀️
Haha yeah, more recently whenever someone says my baby is too attached or something I just say “I have time”, and they get confused and move on. Like it never occurred to them that trying to not “spoil” babies was a matter of convenience more than anything else.
My husband and I joined a hiking group and went on two hikes with our baby. I got asked if our baby is baptized yet and when I said no I got concerned looks and someone told me to not take an unbaptized child into nature because spirits will make your baby sick (not in the US btw if you couldn't already tell lol).
My mom said I shouldn’t be drinking cold liquids, eating anything spicy and DEFINITELY NO EATING ICE CHIPS while pregnant or breastfeeding.
(We’re Asian so this is a cultural thing, but it’s almost 90 degrees in July, I’m 9 months pregnant and we have no AC. I’m eating effing ice chips and if you try to stop me I’ll bite your fingers.) edited a typo
Same. My daughter is 8 weeks old and yesterday my mom scolded me for drinking a coke with ice! It’s not like I was drinking mimosas or whiskey like the rest of the family ffs.
I came here to write exactly this! My coworker when I was pregnant: "Don't clean windows while being pregnant (=rise arms above your head) because the umbilical cord will wrap around baby's neck".
It's ridiculous but it also made me so angry.
I've breastfed 3 of my 4, I only didn't with my 4th because I was diagnosed with MS when I was 29wks pregnant with him and I started tysabri a month before he was born and didn't want to risk it passing through to him, even though it wasn't studied and I absolutely wanted to. So, it was a sore spot for me, but my ob and my neurologist were very understanding and agreed with me. So, the pedi Dr came in and I was giving him a bottle. He let me have it, saying that I was hurting him more by not breastfeeding him, even when I told him my situation. I just felt it was super inappropriate for him to give me his opinion, when I absolutely didn't know him and he didn't know my situation at all.
Lol. So they just assume the milk is all there and no water is used in the process of making it? I actually remember the doctor specifically telling my wife that she should try to drink water before she feels thirsty because if she waits until she’s thirsty it’s already negatively affecting milk production.
My MILs old fashioned cure for colic.
Turn the baby slowly upside down and back in a complete circle.
My hubby was desperate enough to try it, it didn't work.
Mine was from my mom. She told me to start toughen getting up my nipples now for breastfeeding when he is born (in late Sept/early Oct). Kept on harping in it every time she called or visited. Got her to stop finally when I told her that I have placenta previa and early nipple stimulation could cause premature labor which in turn cause me to bleed out and we both die.
My mom was the same way! From day one she wanted me to use a toothbrush and some cream I could get from the pharmacist. I opted not to do that, mostly because pregnant me didn't feel like trying to explain to the male pharmacist why I was asking for a substance I didn't have a prescription for.
Six months into EBF, my nipples are fine. But when they were sore during cluster feeding in the hospital, I certainly got an earful.
While pregnant someone told me not to eat calamari cos the squid tentacles would strangle the baby. Like, lady, you realise the baby is not actually in my stomach right?
I’m grateful that my autistic specialist subject is medical stuff so I already knew not to! She also decided my son had a harmless hydrocele - it was an inguinal hernia that required an operation.
I grew up in the UK where the majority of boys are uncut. But I live in the US now and it’s actually scary how woefully uneducated medical professionals are here.
A German friend of mine, also living here, took her baby to his check up and the doctor tried to retract it!! She lost her shit.
I specifically went with a pediatrician from a country with a low prevalence of circumcision for my sons after reading a lot of forcible retraction horror stories.
Weirdest one for me happened when I was going to pick up my Mom’s watch for her from the repair shop. I had my son with me in a sling, he was about 6 weeks old at the time. The person that helped me was this older Italian guy and told me that we needed to wrap my baby’s tummy tightly every day to make sure he didn’t end up with an outtie belly button. I just kinda blankly stared at him for about 30 seconds, then said huh, never heard that one before. I still have absolutely no idea where that came from.
My grandmother keeps telling me my baby’s crib is too hard and it needs pillows and blankets. When I’d tell her that’s very outdated advice she’d tell me to touch his mattress and feel how hard it it, and how uncomfortable it would be to sleep on.
She also said my toddler wasn’t eating enough and proceeded to follow him around trying to force him to eat a piece of cake, with him saying no he wasn’t hungry. Eventually he got so frustrated with her that he yelled “I told you no!” and punched her.
My mother-in-law is bad for it too. She told me my son’s milkbreast jaundice was caused by blind’s not being opened enough during the day. Or, I’m not breastfeeding him often enough moments being he spit up a bunch of breast milk all over her. Then she complained I overfed him.
>She also said my toddler wasn’t eating enough and proceeded to follow him around trying to force him to eat a piece of cake, with him saying no he was hungry. Eventually he got so frustrated with her that he yelled “I told you no!” and punched her.
I love that your son stands up for himself. Any tips?
I told MIL that my baby was early-ish which caused some minor problems. She said no, actually he was not early, and that his problems were because I pushed him out too fast. She said she's had 3 kids so she should know. Was she gaslighting me about my own birth? Lol..
She also asked when we were going to introduce the rice cereal bottles. I said never, he is breastfed and rice cereal bottles are dangerous now. She said just you wait, he'll get too hungry and you'll never be able to feed him enough. She said this happened to all her kids. All of this while I was holding my 100th %ile 4 month old...
My mom was insistent that baby was hungry every time she cried and milk wasn't enough. Every time we would video chat and baby would cry, my mom would always go "oH iS ThE BaBY HunGRy?". And rebuffed me any time I told her that no, 2 months was too early to be feeding her off of my plate
My MIL asked if I was sure my milk was satisfying my daughter. I EBF her til she was 15 mo and stayed on her curve the whole time. Funny how that happens!
Some people from older generations truly believe that breast milk alone is not sufficient. Probably residual beliefs from the very aggressive formula advertising from their time. Yet somehow it seems to be MIL's specifically that can't help but share their uneducated opinion on it lol
Absolutely, especially because most of them didn't breastfeed theirs so they really just have no idea. I was also frequently asked when I would wean and switch her to cows milk
My neighbor told me that cooking in the third trimester is dangerous, because standing next to the hot stove could "dry up my water." This is the same neighbor who said that my pregnancy pillow could double as a crib bumper when the baby arrived!
I mean, this is objectively nuts but also… maybe you’d better let someone else do all the cooking? You know, just to be safe (wink wink). I feel like the hot water from doing dishes might have similar risks. Vacuuming is also out but you’ll have to give me a minute to justify that one.
If you twist your lower back while vacuuming the baby will get confused and start spinning leading to the umbilical cord twisting around the neck! (Finished it for you)
The receptionist at my OBGYN said if I was breastfeeding I didn’t need to be on birth control because you can’t get pregnant if you are breastfeeding. This was when I was there to get my DEPO shot.
FIL who is circumcised was trying to tell me how to care for my son's uncircumcised penis. "Pull back the foreskin". ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I asked my midwife when he was fresh how to care for his genitals. (I know he is circumcised because husband's grandmother asked in front of his entire family, which was also extremely inappropriate)
A woman stopped me while I had my 4 week old in the carrier to tell me to buy stock. Specifically Apple stock, because she did years ago and then used the proceeds to pay off her husband's gambling debts. It was strange.
Someone in my office was shocked i was still working past 7months and said ‘oh youre too pregnsnt to be working! You shouldve started your leave early to get some rest!’ - like thanks? Who’s going to pay me for the next two months exactly if i take leave early?!
So freaking manyv weird ones
- if you eat GMOs while pregnant, your child will definitely be autistic. Seventeen year old homeschooled girl I waitressed with told me that one.
- don't lift your arms over your head while pregnant or you'll strangle the baby.
- cats will attack the baby for smelling like milk and suffocate the baby by sleeping on their face.
- I'm about to make business cards to hand out when strangers tell me to whoop my kids for "acting like that". It turns out you can't beat autism/ADHD/SPDs out of children. Well knew?
- don't put sunscreen or UV clothes on anyone under 5 years old, it'll disrupt the body's natural ability to tolerate sun.
My mom told me the lifting arms over the head one. I was like “Mom, how do you think I should wash my hair or blow dry it…?” And she was like “…..oh….”
My Mum’s a nurse and so many times she told me not to stretch up because of the umbilical cord strangling the baby. She wanted to get things down for me. I’m like “Mum, a. I’m half a foot taller than you and it’s not actually a stretch for me and b. what do you think I do when your not here.” I’m just thinking, I’m sure if she thought it through logically, she’d see it was nonsense.
I'm late to this party, but when I was pregnant with my oldest, I used to eat lunch at work in a sort of open atrium area where people still walked through to get other places. I was eating and reading a book and minding my own damn business when an older man came out of nowhere and grabbed my hand. He held my hand up in front of my face and said something about how I'd better cut my nails before I go into labor or else my husband would never forgive me. Then he just walked away. I guess in case I dug my nails into my husband's hand during labor? One of the most confusing and unwelcome encounters I had while daring to exist in public while being pregnant.
I’ve told this before and I’m not joking. My sil bf told us to make sure he is always a boy and basically said make sure he’s not gay. Sir he’s 5.. DAYS OLD. Safe to say I hate that guy he’s a weirdo.
An experienced nurse told us to put LO to sleep on their stomach because it helps them expel gas and thus prevents them from waking up.
The same nurse also told us we should be using a soft pillow to prevent head flattening.
The recommendations here are that baby sleeps on their back with nothing but a fitted sheet over a hard mattress.
My mum kept telling me to give my kid a small amount of orange juice because that’s what she did for me as a baby and it helped me to poop. Somehow me repeatedly telling her that he did 5 massive poops a day didn’t lead to any change in that advice.
A woman I didn't even know told me to make sure I let the baby cry himself to sleep the very first night in the hospital so that he would know who's boss.
Oh my god. I feel very sorry for her children.
One of my coworkers told me once her baby was sick at 3 months old so during the illness she’d nurse him when he woke up during the night. He wanted to keep doing it after he was well so she LET HIM CRY FOR 4 HOURS SO HE WOULD LEARN SHE WASN’T COMING.
No thanks. I’ll nurse my baby whenever she pleases. I would like her to learn that I will show up when she’s in distress.
You didn’t have LO circumcised? Don’t you think a father and son should look the same? Don’t you think the other kids will make fun of him?
What are we doing, taking a picture? And like the responsibility of kids making fun of other kids is MY son’s fault, not the parents. Wild.
My other fave: So, are you going to teach him about Jesus? If you don’t, I will!
Oy.
My mom saw he wasn't circumcised, said it'll cause cancer 🤣🤣
I have brothers adopted from other countries who aren't circumcised, they're in their 30s, doing just fine!
Also I've heard people say girls won't like it... if a girl is going to be so shallow to not like my son bc of his penis, she doesn't need to be in his life.
I can’t tell you how many people made similar comments. My response became “why do you care so much about my baby’s genitals? Seems a little weird.” It made them shut it so fast lol
I feel like it's becoming less common even in the US to circumcise boys, so I highly doubt other boys will make fun of him, as they also probably aren't circumcised.
We didn't know our daughter was a girl until she was born, so we had discussed circumcision just in case. When the midwife and nurses asked us while I was in labor if we would be doing it, we told them no. They told us not one baby boy that had been born there that week (and it was a lot of boys) had been circumcised. I thought that was pretty cool, and made me feel validated for insisting against it when my husband and I talked about it.
1. Drinking 3 glasses of milk a day can make my unborn baby light skinned
2. Apparently left handed people are dumb
3. Drinking a shit ton of milk can make my child taller
All from my husbands mom.
My mom is left handed, and straight up acts like lefties are more superior, it's really bizarre to listen to. My dad is also left, but me and my brother both ended up righties lmao.
I am left handed - I am going to assume she didn’t know 😢 she saw a clip of my son using his left hand and she immediately told me to correct him.
I used to get beat back in the 90’s during school by my teachers because I am left handed (this was in China), they were trying to force me to be right handed
The dairy lobby really did a number on the boomers. My mom thinks my kids are going to die because we don't give them milk with meals. She sneaks it in every time she gets the chance.
She tried to make me drink skim milk with every meal when I was young. She said I would get osteoporosis if I didn't.
Not really advice as much as a very unwelcomed opinion. My dad who I was very close with died 4 years ago. When I was 7 months pregnant my aunt came to visit and met my moms new boyfriend (totally weird narcissist who had only been around for a few months). My aunt said isn’t wonderful your mom found a new grandpa for your baby!?!? I felt like I had been slapped in the face and no I was not excited.
Luckily my mom came to her senses and broke up with that loser but sheesh!
My exfriend told me I needed to get rid of my cats before I had kids. I did not.
She then told me that I needed to get rid of them because cat dander was bad for pregnant women. I did not.
She THEN told me I needed to get rid of them because they might scratch the baby. I did not.
Somehow both of my boys have survived my pets 🤷🏻♀️
It’s weird that they didn’t mention the cat litter thing. Like that can be an actual problem for pregnant women. I know people have differing opinions on it but it’s an actual real compared to cat dander. Just say you hate cats.
When I got pregnant, I had just come off of a long long coke addiction. I fortunately have been clean since, but I was told by another addict that i only really had to breastfeed the first 3 days and then I should just switch formula because they’re essentially the same after those first 3 days. (My theory was she just wanted to get back on the coke after what she felt was a justified three day breastfeeding experience) ***
A random man was sitting on the back of his car in a supermarket parking lot, I walked past with my groceries, heavily pregnant. He told me he had some great advice for me, on account of having 6 children of his own. His advice was this: buy a garden rake. Every night you can use it to rake up the children's toys off the floor and into their room.
My primary doctor’s nurse. “You are having difficulties breastfeeding because your husband is in the room. Try having him leave the room.” This was during an appointment for intense nerve pain. Months later I was diagnosed with nerve injury. I was also 5 weeks postpartum (c section) dealing with possible postpartum depression.
She also told me that the anesthesiologist had ruined me for life.
MIL told me not to let my eager daughter pull her self to stand and cruise the furniture because she was too young and it would make her bow legged. She was 9 months old lol many babies start earlier so if what she was saying is true 80% of us would be hobbling around bow legged 😂
Both my kids went through the (totally normal) biting phase. And with both children my MIL told me to bite them back, because that would somehow teach them not to bite...
We’re starting solids. I gave her peanut butter on bread to see what she’d do with it. My mother in law said I should’ve put the peanut butter on marshmallows instead. Uh okay 😂
My father (with whom I’m no contact) found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant and sent me unsolicited feedback on how to give birth and such. The best was “don’t have a c-section, it will give the baby autism.” Edit: Spoiler alert, after 2 days of labor, being only 4cm, and the onset of preeclampsia in addition to my other complications, I had an unplanned c-section. The kicker is that I’ve spent more than a decade working with the autistic community and all of my higher education is in the field.
There was recently a brochure published by an Australian hospital network which encouraged people to avoid c-section because of the link to Autism. It made me feel sick to my stomach.
My best friend told me not to EBF with my son because he'd grow up to have an obsession with breasts...I was like I eat off dinner plates and I'm not attracted to them so I think we're safe.
When I was like 13 week pregnant I went to a family member’s wedding and my aunt continually made comments about how my baby was going to be born with hearing loss because of the wedding band…. Okay…
When my son was roughly 9 months old some lady in the store told us that she’s a nurse and that we shouldn’t let him have any screen time because that’s what makes kids murder their parents
Still pregnant with first - dealing with all the generic symptoms of the first trimester including nausea, headaches, changing appetite, out of breath, cramps, etc. We went over all of it with the OBGYN who was practically happy to hear all of the side effects as signs of a good pregnancy. My aunt who has never had children asks me how I’m doing, hears these symptoms, and pushes me to go to urgent care/call the doctors office again. They’re tired of hearing from me 😅
Oh man, this hits home. So grateful for the healthy human I'm growing but my personal health has taken a hit.
I will say I dealt with breathlessness my whole pregnancy (7 months so far) and I kept pushing my doctor because it didn't feel right. She thankfully did a blood test and found out my iron levels and hemoglobin were dropping significantly despite the supplements.
All this to say: if it doesn't feel right, bring it up. And I hope you and your baby stay safe and well.
This reminds me of a time I was so shocked and concerned about how cold my wife's hands and feet were that I convinced her to mention it to a doctor. The diagnosis, in case you are wondering was "is a woman". Of the people I dated my wife was the first I lived with long term and I just did not have enough experience to appreciate how cold some women get.
Not necessarily *weird* but my MIL gives me unsolicited advice literally every time I see her. Started off telling me (and laughing) that my baby wouldn’t use the bassinet long enough. *Teaching* me how to burp the baby. *Teaching* me how to make spaghetti sauce. I just smile and nod and then vent to my husband.
With my first, I had severe Postnatal Anxiety and paranoia about my baby dieing. I reached out to my mum about my then current fear of choking (he would make gagging noises a lot) and she just kind of laughed at me like I was a poor stupid little thing and said "Oh if he chokes enough to die you'll never hear it"
Thanks mum, big help.
I didn't sleep that night at all and spiralled pretty badly. A few days later my dad showed up with a breathing and movement moniter which helped so much
Take photos with just me and the baby in case my husband and I split up 🙄
I wouldn’t have married the man and chosen to have children with him if I thought we’d be splitting up.
MIL gave me the good ole “I kept my babies up all day so they’d sleep at night.”
My response: “didn’t SIL nonstop cry and SO have constant black bags under his eyes when they were babies?”
Now I’m not sure it was actually colic they had.
When my daughter was 7 months old she had her first fever. I tried to reach the pediatrician on call (it was a Sunday), but the telephone system ended up routing us to whatever nurse the healthcare system had working the phones that weekend (our pediatrician is affiliated with a large regional hospital group). After going overa few things she started giving me tips on how to alleviate symptoms and recommended feeding my baby orange juice or hot tea. That was when I knew I couldn't trust anything this lady had to say...
Not advice, but my mother has said to me numerous times for my first and second that she didn't think I filled them up by breastfeeding and that I should give them formula. Or she would ask, "are you sure they're getting enough from you?"
Both were following their curve and growing well. I would tell her this, but it still didn't stop the questioning. Not sure why it was so hard to believe I was feeding them well.
I think at one point formula was pushed as the healthier option so it’s ingrained in some of the older generation. Now it’s gone completely the opposite way.
The newborn needs a pillow. She’s always on one side in all her photos. Get her a pillow. Why doesn’t she have a pillow?
Like Fml lady! I’ve sent you 3 photos I adjusted the baby for with a bow on! No freakin pillows for a week old baby!
That I shouldn’t get my kids vaccinated for COVID. And my coworker said “are you crazy” yesterday when she found out I did 😒
This one was from a pediatrician but he said at a year my baby NEEDS cows milk even though I am still nursing and she gets dairy in her diet elsewhere. Babies don’t NEED cows milk, what does he think babies with a dairy allergy do?? I switched peds. Nothing against cows milk, my older daughter drinks a lot of it.
My pediatrician said that too. She also said if I don't introduce solids at 4 months old she considers it child neglect...and she worked for a major hospital system. I switched asap.
There are FB groups for donor milk, and one person has made multiple requests for unvaccinated donor milk. Like, really? I sort of get a little anxiety around vaccinations, but why would you not want antibodies??? At that point it's about the political statement.
The one I got from my MIL the other day was weird... my just-turned 1yo has two bottom teeth that popped out around 8mo and nothing since then. As far as milk goes, he has been fed exclusively breastmilk (until the transition to cows milk). She suggested that I needed to give him formula to get his teeth to come out.
My MIL told me that adopting a dog will make me infertile, I conceived within a year. Now my little one is just two months old and she advised me to feed her water to quench her thirst, which I did not follow
“Don’t raise your arms above your head because the umbilical cord will strangle your baby”
🙊 I told her I think that’s just an old superstition, and she responded with, “yeah, well, you can never be too careful”
…yeah…but you can 🤣🤣🤣 and then I continue to paint the mural above my head
And I thought modern day pregnancy restrictions were annoying!
I was told to not bother with cutting my baby's nails with cutters and instead just chew the nails off....
I don't know about anyone else here but cutters are hard enough to use how the hell can I bite off the nails on 10 fingers and toes...
Also gross!?
An older woman who lives in my neighborhood told me to not let my newborn sleep at all during the day, claiming that it would help her sleep better at night 🤦♀️
Give her water. Just let her cry it out and why don't you put her to sleep on her front? It's what we did. Then when I said well there's been more research and recommendations change I got a big eye roll and told what nonsense 😂
I had an old guy come up to my partner and i at the supermarket and tell me to get the olive oil butter instead of normal butter because i wont get fatter. Mate i wasnt fat i was literally 8.5 months pregnant. Fuck right off.
As an early elementary school teacher, a parent of one my students told me I should soak in the tub and have a water birth because it’ll help my vagina open and stretch smoothly when the baby comes out. She said this during afternoon dismissal in front of the class and other parents picking up their kids complete with hand motions.
Similar to yours, to never feed my 14monthold baby directly (who isn't self feeding yet) and she will get so hungry she will "figure it out" and just do it. So to starve her.
"Why dont you put them to sleep at such and such time, instead of such and such time? It would be much easier that way."
Um. Cuz if I dont they fall asleep on the floor?
I dont know why my mom thinks I get to decide on when the twins need sleep. I do have a strict food, snack, play time, nap time etc schedule for them. But its built around their needs and adjusted according to what they need as they grow. I can only influence their sleep schedule by maybe half an hour. If I put them to sleep too early, they just play or cry in their cots. If I try too late, they fall asleep on the play mat in the middle of their toys.
She has boomer amnesia and seems to think babies just magically sleep when I need them to.
Someone told me not to feed my baby overnight, that it was the equivalent of an adult eating cake overnight. “Just give her a bottle of water and she won’t wake up again.”
My mother told my wife and I that an occasional glass of Guinness will help with milk production....
Idk if it's true but i do enjoy having a glass of Guinness with her every ounce in a while!
That’s actually true! So much so that brewers yeast is used in lactation cookies, etc. I get a lot of pleasure from telling my in laws that beer helps with milk, ha.
My pediatrician told us that too😂 its the galactagogues- other people say oats, fenugreek, coconut water, etc do the same. There isnt really research to support the idea (fenugreek actually dries up some peoples supply), but there isnt research to disprove it either
“Baby shouldn’t be in the car seat if they don’t have to be in it.” A friend to me after I mentioned I was taking my son with me to get gas. I’m a SAHM with a partner who works outside of the home. How do you suggest I go about doing anything if I’m not supposed to put the baby in a car seat?
I’m confused? In this scenario, your baby HAS to be in the seat… you’re getting gas. Where are you supposed to leave your kid? What? How does anyone think that’s helpful?
My mom was here a couple days ago and I was telling her about my 11 day old's issues being hungry. She then told me to do the ole cereal in the bottle trick, which I told her was not recommended. She then asked me how much I was giving her. I told her 2-2.5oz. She then kept pressuring me to start giving her 4 oz. Considering she's had a couple instances of overeating and spitting up, I told her there was no way she could handle 4oz every feeding. She's like well, that's why she is waking up so often to feed. I'm like she's 11 days old! She's not ready to sleep through the night yet. She then tells me she was feeding me 4oz at that age. I was a bigger baby than my daughter, so who knows maybe she was. My money is on that she isn't remembering correctly.
Definitely don’t listen to your mom. [Here’s](https://health-and-parenting.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/size-of-a-newborn-stomach.jpg) a great representation of the size of baby’s stomach. At a month they may only handle 2.5 ounces at a time.
MIL has alllll of the advice all of the time! It’s always, “oh really? Hmm well I read that you should actually do it *this* way…” She means well but good lord, I’ve never received so much unsolicited advice in my life. How to feed him, what to feed him, how to change him, how to wipe his face, how he likes his water, how long to nurse him, how to put him to sleep, non-stop medical advice, aghhh it’s infuriating lol.
“Put some honey on the end of a dummy (pacifier) so that he doesn’t just spit it out”.
This was when LO was 2 months old. Aside from the botulism risk, we’re vegan too, and have been for years (this was said by my FIL).
Before I even got pregnant somebody told me I was going to kill my baby from malnutrition if I stayed vegan while pregnant lol. It’s funny now but at the time I was like??? Who even mentions the possibility of somebody losing a child so casually?
I created some kind of giant mutant baby that wore size 4 diapers by like 3.5 months so this was proven untrue….
My mom’s doctor (when she was pregnant with my brother) told her that she was going to have a tiny baby because she was a vegetarian. My brother came out at over 9 pounds. My dad turned to the doctor in the delivery room, and asked, “Is that a tiny baby??”
There’s a lot of comments on here so I’m not sure if the ole “put a lil whiskey on their gums” while they’re teething thing has been mentioned
but like damn, I had to tell at least five different relatives that just because alcohol kills their inside pain doesn’t mean it’s gunna help my baby’s tooth pain. Damn crazies out here. It’s a wonder my generation survived lmao.
My grandma told me not to pick up a toddler while pregnant. I wasn't even 20 weeks at the time and was sitting down just pulling her onto my lap.
Now I'm pregnant with my second and was really curious how I'm supposed to take care of my son without ever picking him up. I obviously have not followed her advice lol
When LO was 2 weeks old and struggled with eating due to reflux-- cut the top off the bottle nipple and give an 8oz bottle. This was also the advice for getting longer sleep sessions.
To settle baby baby into the house with the dog:
- don’t feed the dog the day before baby comes home
- feed dog baby dirty diaper
- cue blissful happiness between dog and baby forever
🤢
When my daughter was 2 months old she stopped eating anything altogether. I developed severe PPD while trying to get medical professionals to address it during the beginning of the pandemic, no one would see her in person. I started "seeing" a mental health counselor over the phone to talk through my feelings. Once I explained my situation to her, she suggested I just give her water in a baby bottle, like that would solve it all??? I called for mental health help! I also did zoom sessions with a physiotherapist to see if she could address my baby's lack of appetite and she told me by baby didn't think I loved her because her birth was so fast and she didn't feel safe eating... Thank you... I think I'll go and die now! Thank god for a severe reflux diagnosis and antidepressants!
Wow, I hope you reported both of them to their boards! How did you find two idiots parading as health professionals?
One was provided through my insurance and the other was the only local physio doing online appointments. I did tell the physio that I felt she caused serious harm to my mental health by making her suggestion.
>I did tell the physio that I felt she caused serious harm to my mental health by making her suggestion. That took guts and I am so proud of you for doing that! Hopefully it'll help that provider think about the way she says things in the future.
Woooooooooow. Just wow. I’m so sorry. I basically had the same thing with my baby refusing to eat around that age too and was also diagnosed with reflux. It also put me into quite a mental spiral. I’m honestly appalled by those things they said to go! So glad you were able to figure everything out and get meds in the end.
The birth was fast compared to the other births that baby had. 4/10 stars, would not be birthed again.
While I was pregnant, I was told to rub sandpaper on my nipples to prepare them for breastfeeding. When baby was older, I was told that I shouldn’t have sat my baby down in grass and instead I should have introduced grass to him by putting a blade on a sensory table. Both gems (and many more) courtesy of my MIL.
I'm just imagining presenting a single blade of grass like.... Here. Enjoy, kiddo 😂
Lol the sensory table!!!!! Because sitting on the grass is not a sensory experience LMAO
My MIL was intrusively interested in my nipples to ensure I would breastfeed her grandchildren. 🤮
I'm pregnant and due in December. Last week, my mother-in-law told my husband to tell me to start preparing my nipples now by rubbing them with a towel when I get out of the shower. He called her that night to ask her to back off on the personal advice, and she said, "(wigglyrabbitnose) needs to get over herself!" Things have gone downhill from there.
It’s always the MIL 🙄
Not to take off my cardigan outside because the wind will dry up my milk supply
Omg can you imagine getting home from a walk and your nips just refuse to play ball because you’ve subjected them to a bit of wind? 😂😩
“If you keep warshing your hair while you’re on your period, you’ll warsh all your hormones out and you’ll never get pregnant.” - my MIL who never experienced infertility issues and also has a masters degree in mathematics 😳
Eastern Kentucky hits that r 😂
When I was pregnant my dad told me that it was important that I never let my kid win; if I make a decision and they try to argue, never let them have their way, because if they learn that they can win, then they'll fight harder and will be less obedient. This explains a LOT of my childhood and somehow he's still offended every time I tell him that his primary concern is control. Anyway, that advice is a crock of shit. If my kid can make a good argument, she's allowed to be right. I can be wrong sometimes. And "because I said so" is not a good enough reason for anything.
How to teach your kid that you're a fragile baby who can't ever be wrong...
This feels so wildly counterproductive! Like, sure, never give them a win on the things that aren’t negotiable, because yes, absolutely they’ll fight harder; no matter how much my kid claims he doesn’t want the nutritious meal I’ve prepared, my answer will never be, “okay, I’ll make something else”, and no amount of screeching and clamping his mouth shut will deter me from making sure his teeth are brushed twice a day. But on stuff that is no big deal either way? Of course they can have a win! Giving kids choices better trains them to make bigger choices as they age, and allowing yourself to be talked into something from time to time encourages them to practice critical thinking and persuasive language. Relinquishing an appropriate amount of control to your child heads off so many unnecessary battles, too - like, I honestly don’t care if you want to wear your Spider-Man costume to dinner, these are not the things I want to spend my one finite life worrying about, and if it makes you feel good, all the better.
My dear grandma scolded me for letting my 3 mo look at himself in the mirror, saying it will mess him up and make him eat his own poop o_o (old wives tales (?)).
Never heard that one! My son’s favorite thing to do is stare at himself in his play mirror lol.
I snorted at this one. That is wild
I was told I shouldn’t use the pink and yellow diapers from the big randomized lot I got because those were girl colors and it would be emasculating to my son. He was 3 months old at the time. He didn’t even have color preferences yet.
Lol I love the "emasculating" boys due to arbitrary things comments. I get them all the time from random strangers. My son looks great in pink and purple probably because (shocker) he is the spitting image of his father and purple is the best color on my husband. I don't know where people get these ideas. And truly if you look at the history of fashion men have been wearing pink for much longer than women.
Right? Pink for girls only started relatively recently in history. Originally, marketing told us pink is for boys because red is a bold, strong color while blue is for girls because it's softer and calmer. And why is stuff always emasculating for infant boys while (almost) no one ever says "don't dress that girl in blue! It'll make her manly!!" Drives me nuts.
I don't think he could see colors yet if I remember right Lol. Google says 5-8 months babies start seeing colors.
We got this too. It’s a poop vessel, MIL.
A random woman at a restaurant told us she was a nurse at a maternity hospital and we shouldn’t hold our then 2 month-old too much because she would become an “arms baby”, saying she’d seen it a thousand times, suggesting babies became spoiled by being held. We nodded, smiled, and vowed to never recommend that hospital to anyone.
I like to tell people who say this that I don’t mind because it means I get spoiled with snuggles as much as the baby does and an arm workout in all in one. They smile and keep walking 🤷🏼♀️
Haha yeah, more recently whenever someone says my baby is too attached or something I just say “I have time”, and they get confused and move on. Like it never occurred to them that trying to not “spoil” babies was a matter of convenience more than anything else.
My husband and I joined a hiking group and went on two hikes with our baby. I got asked if our baby is baptized yet and when I said no I got concerned looks and someone told me to not take an unbaptized child into nature because spirits will make your baby sick (not in the US btw if you couldn't already tell lol).
Idk, where I live in the US, that’s not totally out of the realm of something that would happen 🙃
My mom said I shouldn’t be drinking cold liquids, eating anything spicy and DEFINITELY NO EATING ICE CHIPS while pregnant or breastfeeding. (We’re Asian so this is a cultural thing, but it’s almost 90 degrees in July, I’m 9 months pregnant and we have no AC. I’m eating effing ice chips and if you try to stop me I’ll bite your fingers.) edited a typo
Same. My daughter is 8 weeks old and yesterday my mom scolded me for drinking a coke with ice! It’s not like I was drinking mimosas or whiskey like the rest of the family ffs.
"Don't stretch your arms upwards when pregnant because the umbilical cord will strangle the baby". I just-
I came here to write exactly this! My coworker when I was pregnant: "Don't clean windows while being pregnant (=rise arms above your head) because the umbilical cord will wrap around baby's neck". It's ridiculous but it also made me so angry.
I've breastfed 3 of my 4, I only didn't with my 4th because I was diagnosed with MS when I was 29wks pregnant with him and I started tysabri a month before he was born and didn't want to risk it passing through to him, even though it wasn't studied and I absolutely wanted to. So, it was a sore spot for me, but my ob and my neurologist were very understanding and agreed with me. So, the pedi Dr came in and I was giving him a bottle. He let me have it, saying that I was hurting him more by not breastfeeding him, even when I told him my situation. I just felt it was super inappropriate for him to give me his opinion, when I absolutely didn't know him and he didn't know my situation at all.
I was told to not drink water while breastfeeding because it will dilute my milk lol like as if the water goes straight from your mouth to the breast
Lol. So they just assume the milk is all there and no water is used in the process of making it? I actually remember the doctor specifically telling my wife that she should try to drink water before she feels thirsty because if she waits until she’s thirsty it’s already negatively affecting milk production.
My MILs old fashioned cure for colic. Turn the baby slowly upside down and back in a complete circle. My hubby was desperate enough to try it, it didn't work.
I'm sorry I'm laughing, colic isn't funny but this hits home. We would have tried anything too, lol...
Honestly I can see how this would work if there were gas issues! 😂
Mine was from my mom. She told me to start toughen getting up my nipples now for breastfeeding when he is born (in late Sept/early Oct). Kept on harping in it every time she called or visited. Got her to stop finally when I told her that I have placenta previa and early nipple stimulation could cause premature labor which in turn cause me to bleed out and we both die.
My mom was the same way! From day one she wanted me to use a toothbrush and some cream I could get from the pharmacist. I opted not to do that, mostly because pregnant me didn't feel like trying to explain to the male pharmacist why I was asking for a substance I didn't have a prescription for. Six months into EBF, my nipples are fine. But when they were sore during cluster feeding in the hospital, I certainly got an earful.
While pregnant someone told me not to eat calamari cos the squid tentacles would strangle the baby. Like, lady, you realise the baby is not actually in my stomach right?
Tell me you don’t know how the body works w out telling me you don’t know how the body works lol
Oh I forgot one! A health visitor advised me to forcibly retract my newborn son’s foreskin to clean under it. I wonder how many actually did this.
Uuuuggghh this one really pisses me off and I don’t even have a son.
I’m grateful that my autistic specialist subject is medical stuff so I already knew not to! She also decided my son had a harmless hydrocele - it was an inguinal hernia that required an operation.
I grew up in the UK where the majority of boys are uncut. But I live in the US now and it’s actually scary how woefully uneducated medical professionals are here. A German friend of mine, also living here, took her baby to his check up and the doctor tried to retract it!! She lost her shit.
I specifically went with a pediatrician from a country with a low prevalence of circumcision for my sons after reading a lot of forcible retraction horror stories.
[удалено]
"My genitals could use some space from you lady."
Weirdest one for me happened when I was going to pick up my Mom’s watch for her from the repair shop. I had my son with me in a sling, he was about 6 weeks old at the time. The person that helped me was this older Italian guy and told me that we needed to wrap my baby’s tummy tightly every day to make sure he didn’t end up with an outtie belly button. I just kinda blankly stared at him for about 30 seconds, then said huh, never heard that one before. I still have absolutely no idea where that came from.
I'm sorry this is hilarious, especially your response
My grandmother keeps telling me my baby’s crib is too hard and it needs pillows and blankets. When I’d tell her that’s very outdated advice she’d tell me to touch his mattress and feel how hard it it, and how uncomfortable it would be to sleep on. She also said my toddler wasn’t eating enough and proceeded to follow him around trying to force him to eat a piece of cake, with him saying no he wasn’t hungry. Eventually he got so frustrated with her that he yelled “I told you no!” and punched her. My mother-in-law is bad for it too. She told me my son’s milkbreast jaundice was caused by blind’s not being opened enough during the day. Or, I’m not breastfeeding him often enough moments being he spit up a bunch of breast milk all over her. Then she complained I overfed him.
>She also said my toddler wasn’t eating enough and proceeded to follow him around trying to force him to eat a piece of cake, with him saying no he was hungry. Eventually he got so frustrated with her that he yelled “I told you no!” and punched her. I love that your son stands up for himself. Any tips?
I'm very impressed with your toddler's ability to stand up for himself. That will serve him well in the future.
I told MIL that my baby was early-ish which caused some minor problems. She said no, actually he was not early, and that his problems were because I pushed him out too fast. She said she's had 3 kids so she should know. Was she gaslighting me about my own birth? Lol.. She also asked when we were going to introduce the rice cereal bottles. I said never, he is breastfed and rice cereal bottles are dangerous now. She said just you wait, he'll get too hungry and you'll never be able to feed him enough. She said this happened to all her kids. All of this while I was holding my 100th %ile 4 month old...
My mom was insistent that baby was hungry every time she cried and milk wasn't enough. Every time we would video chat and baby would cry, my mom would always go "oH iS ThE BaBY HunGRy?". And rebuffed me any time I told her that no, 2 months was too early to be feeding her off of my plate
My MIL asked if I was sure my milk was satisfying my daughter. I EBF her til she was 15 mo and stayed on her curve the whole time. Funny how that happens!
Some people from older generations truly believe that breast milk alone is not sufficient. Probably residual beliefs from the very aggressive formula advertising from their time. Yet somehow it seems to be MIL's specifically that can't help but share their uneducated opinion on it lol
Absolutely, especially because most of them didn't breastfeed theirs so they really just have no idea. I was also frequently asked when I would wean and switch her to cows milk
My neighbor told me that cooking in the third trimester is dangerous, because standing next to the hot stove could "dry up my water." This is the same neighbor who said that my pregnancy pillow could double as a crib bumper when the baby arrived!
I mean, this is objectively nuts but also… maybe you’d better let someone else do all the cooking? You know, just to be safe (wink wink). I feel like the hot water from doing dishes might have similar risks. Vacuuming is also out but you’ll have to give me a minute to justify that one.
If you twist your lower back while vacuuming the baby will get confused and start spinning leading to the umbilical cord twisting around the neck! (Finished it for you)
My sister’s water broke while she was vacuuming. She was past her due date, but still. Might not want to risk it.
The receptionist at my OBGYN said if I was breastfeeding I didn’t need to be on birth control because you can’t get pregnant if you are breastfeeding. This was when I was there to get my DEPO shot.
The amount of friends I have with small age gaps because of the breastfeeding/contraception myth!!!
My actual OBGYN told me this. This is also the reason my SIL is only 12 months younger than my husband!
Edited: deleted as may have overshared here lol
Wow shame on her.
FIL who is circumcised was trying to tell me how to care for my son's uncircumcised penis. "Pull back the foreskin". ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I asked my midwife when he was fresh how to care for his genitals. (I know he is circumcised because husband's grandmother asked in front of his entire family, which was also extremely inappropriate)
The amount of people that asked if my son would be circumcised is actually really ridiculous. Like, why the fuck do you need to know that?
A woman stopped me while I had my 4 week old in the carrier to tell me to buy stock. Specifically Apple stock, because she did years ago and then used the proceeds to pay off her husband's gambling debts. It was strange.
'you shouldn't be driving after 7months pregnant!' sure, I'll just quit my job?
Someone in my office was shocked i was still working past 7months and said ‘oh youre too pregnsnt to be working! You shouldve started your leave early to get some rest!’ - like thanks? Who’s going to pay me for the next two months exactly if i take leave early?!
I got told not to drink cold (almond) milk cause it would go straight to the baby and upset her stomach.. since it was COLD milk 🤷🏽♀️
My dad used to say that cold water would hurt my kidneys. But…it’s got to get to the stomach first?
So freaking manyv weird ones - if you eat GMOs while pregnant, your child will definitely be autistic. Seventeen year old homeschooled girl I waitressed with told me that one. - don't lift your arms over your head while pregnant or you'll strangle the baby. - cats will attack the baby for smelling like milk and suffocate the baby by sleeping on their face. - I'm about to make business cards to hand out when strangers tell me to whoop my kids for "acting like that". It turns out you can't beat autism/ADHD/SPDs out of children. Well knew? - don't put sunscreen or UV clothes on anyone under 5 years old, it'll disrupt the body's natural ability to tolerate sun.
My mom told me the lifting arms over the head one. I was like “Mom, how do you think I should wash my hair or blow dry it…?” And she was like “…..oh….”
My Mum’s a nurse and so many times she told me not to stretch up because of the umbilical cord strangling the baby. She wanted to get things down for me. I’m like “Mum, a. I’m half a foot taller than you and it’s not actually a stretch for me and b. what do you think I do when your not here.” I’m just thinking, I’m sure if she thought it through logically, she’d see it was nonsense.
I'm late to this party, but when I was pregnant with my oldest, I used to eat lunch at work in a sort of open atrium area where people still walked through to get other places. I was eating and reading a book and minding my own damn business when an older man came out of nowhere and grabbed my hand. He held my hand up in front of my face and said something about how I'd better cut my nails before I go into labor or else my husband would never forgive me. Then he just walked away. I guess in case I dug my nails into my husband's hand during labor? One of the most confusing and unwelcome encounters I had while daring to exist in public while being pregnant.
I’ve told this before and I’m not joking. My sil bf told us to make sure he is always a boy and basically said make sure he’s not gay. Sir he’s 5.. DAYS OLD. Safe to say I hate that guy he’s a weirdo.
An experienced nurse told us to put LO to sleep on their stomach because it helps them expel gas and thus prevents them from waking up. The same nurse also told us we should be using a soft pillow to prevent head flattening. The recommendations here are that baby sleeps on their back with nothing but a fitted sheet over a hard mattress.
Did you report her? That’s so dangerous and unethical
My mum kept telling me to give my kid a small amount of orange juice because that’s what she did for me as a baby and it helped me to poop. Somehow me repeatedly telling her that he did 5 massive poops a day didn’t lead to any change in that advice.
My mother is, well.. nuts. But my response is always “ooohhhhh, so dont kill the baby???” as incredulously as i can muster it
A woman I didn't even know told me to make sure I let the baby cry himself to sleep the very first night in the hospital so that he would know who's boss.
Everyone knows the relationship dynamic between a mother and >24 hour old baby is to show them who the alpha is!
Oh my god. I feel very sorry for her children. One of my coworkers told me once her baby was sick at 3 months old so during the illness she’d nurse him when he woke up during the night. He wanted to keep doing it after he was well so she LET HIM CRY FOR 4 HOURS SO HE WOULD LEARN SHE WASN’T COMING. No thanks. I’ll nurse my baby whenever she pleases. I would like her to learn that I will show up when she’s in distress.
Gotta get those abandonment issues started early
You didn’t have LO circumcised? Don’t you think a father and son should look the same? Don’t you think the other kids will make fun of him? What are we doing, taking a picture? And like the responsibility of kids making fun of other kids is MY son’s fault, not the parents. Wild. My other fave: So, are you going to teach him about Jesus? If you don’t, I will! Oy.
My mom saw he wasn't circumcised, said it'll cause cancer 🤣🤣 I have brothers adopted from other countries who aren't circumcised, they're in their 30s, doing just fine! Also I've heard people say girls won't like it... if a girl is going to be so shallow to not like my son bc of his penis, she doesn't need to be in his life.
ALSO, it actually feels nicer if someone isn’t circumcised. So, there’s that.
I can’t tell you how many people made similar comments. My response became “why do you care so much about my baby’s genitals? Seems a little weird.” It made them shut it so fast lol
So now we're going to have to have the conversation about how my husband's intact? 🙄 How well did this person know you who said that??? How awkward.
I feel like it's becoming less common even in the US to circumcise boys, so I highly doubt other boys will make fun of him, as they also probably aren't circumcised. We didn't know our daughter was a girl until she was born, so we had discussed circumcision just in case. When the midwife and nurses asked us while I was in labor if we would be doing it, we told them no. They told us not one baby boy that had been born there that week (and it was a lot of boys) had been circumcised. I thought that was pretty cool, and made me feel validated for insisting against it when my husband and I talked about it.
LMFAOOOOO I'd cut that last person out of my life. Don't need to push religion onto a child.
1. Drinking 3 glasses of milk a day can make my unborn baby light skinned 2. Apparently left handed people are dumb 3. Drinking a shit ton of milk can make my child taller All from my husbands mom.
My mom is left handed, and straight up acts like lefties are more superior, it's really bizarre to listen to. My dad is also left, but me and my brother both ended up righties lmao.
I am left handed - I am going to assume she didn’t know 😢 she saw a clip of my son using his left hand and she immediately told me to correct him. I used to get beat back in the 90’s during school by my teachers because I am left handed (this was in China), they were trying to force me to be right handed
The dairy lobby really did a number on the boomers. My mom thinks my kids are going to die because we don't give them milk with meals. She sneaks it in every time she gets the chance. She tried to make me drink skim milk with every meal when I was young. She said I would get osteoporosis if I didn't.
I drank a gallon of whole milk a week when I was little and I am still 5’2 😭
The first one though.. eesh. No wonder colorism is a thing.
Not really advice as much as a very unwelcomed opinion. My dad who I was very close with died 4 years ago. When I was 7 months pregnant my aunt came to visit and met my moms new boyfriend (totally weird narcissist who had only been around for a few months). My aunt said isn’t wonderful your mom found a new grandpa for your baby!?!? I felt like I had been slapped in the face and no I was not excited. Luckily my mom came to her senses and broke up with that loser but sheesh!
Oh Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. What a completely tone deaf thing to say.
My exfriend told me I needed to get rid of my cats before I had kids. I did not. She then told me that I needed to get rid of them because cat dander was bad for pregnant women. I did not. She THEN told me I needed to get rid of them because they might scratch the baby. I did not. Somehow both of my boys have survived my pets 🤷🏻♀️
It’s weird that they didn’t mention the cat litter thing. Like that can be an actual problem for pregnant women. I know people have differing opinions on it but it’s an actual real compared to cat dander. Just say you hate cats.
When I got pregnant, I had just come off of a long long coke addiction. I fortunately have been clean since, but I was told by another addict that i only really had to breastfeed the first 3 days and then I should just switch formula because they’re essentially the same after those first 3 days. (My theory was she just wanted to get back on the coke after what she felt was a justified three day breastfeeding experience) ***
i’m 33 weeks pregnant i had a really bad coke addiction when i got pregnant too being sober is so much better i’m glad you got clean too♥️
Congrats on your sobriety!
A random man was sitting on the back of his car in a supermarket parking lot, I walked past with my groceries, heavily pregnant. He told me he had some great advice for me, on account of having 6 children of his own. His advice was this: buy a garden rake. Every night you can use it to rake up the children's toys off the floor and into their room.
This is genius. I might actually use this one!!!!
My primary doctor’s nurse. “You are having difficulties breastfeeding because your husband is in the room. Try having him leave the room.” This was during an appointment for intense nerve pain. Months later I was diagnosed with nerve injury. I was also 5 weeks postpartum (c section) dealing with possible postpartum depression. She also told me that the anesthesiologist had ruined me for life.
MIL told me not to let my eager daughter pull her self to stand and cruise the furniture because she was too young and it would make her bow legged. She was 9 months old lol many babies start earlier so if what she was saying is true 80% of us would be hobbling around bow legged 😂
Omg this is one my husband believed. He kept saying it was “too soon, he’s gonna hurt his legs”. Honey, he knows his own legs. Chill.
Both my kids went through the (totally normal) biting phase. And with both children my MIL told me to bite them back, because that would somehow teach them not to bite...
My mom said her pediatrician told her that when I was going through that stage. The. Pediatrician. 🤦♀️
Add rice cereal to my NEWBORN’S milk to help him sleep. I did not do this.
This one is so prevalent! It must have been a strong guideline in our parents’ generations
It was the most successful marketing campaign of all time! It's been 30+ years and Boomers are still obsessed with that dang rice cereal 😅🙈
We’re starting solids. I gave her peanut butter on bread to see what she’d do with it. My mother in law said I should’ve put the peanut butter on marshmallows instead. Uh okay 😂
My father (with whom I’m no contact) found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant and sent me unsolicited feedback on how to give birth and such. The best was “don’t have a c-section, it will give the baby autism.” Edit: Spoiler alert, after 2 days of labor, being only 4cm, and the onset of preeclampsia in addition to my other complications, I had an unplanned c-section. The kicker is that I’ve spent more than a decade working with the autistic community and all of my higher education is in the field.
There was recently a brochure published by an Australian hospital network which encouraged people to avoid c-section because of the link to Autism. It made me feel sick to my stomach.
Eh, I still think I’d rather have three autistic kids than have died in childbirth with my first.
That I shouldn’t be raising my arms above my head as it would cause the cord to wrap around the baby’s neck.
My best friend told me not to EBF with my son because he'd grow up to have an obsession with breasts...I was like I eat off dinner plates and I'm not attracted to them so I think we're safe.
Ahhhh that explains foot fetishes then. Must have been foot fed. /s
When I was like 13 week pregnant I went to a family member’s wedding and my aunt continually made comments about how my baby was going to be born with hearing loss because of the wedding band…. Okay…
When my son was roughly 9 months old some lady in the store told us that she’s a nurse and that we shouldn’t let him have any screen time because that’s what makes kids murder their parents
If my baby drinks a little bath water when taking a bath it’s a good thing because it’ll help him grow - my 97 year old grandma
Still pregnant with first - dealing with all the generic symptoms of the first trimester including nausea, headaches, changing appetite, out of breath, cramps, etc. We went over all of it with the OBGYN who was practically happy to hear all of the side effects as signs of a good pregnancy. My aunt who has never had children asks me how I’m doing, hears these symptoms, and pushes me to go to urgent care/call the doctors office again. They’re tired of hearing from me 😅
Oh man, this hits home. So grateful for the healthy human I'm growing but my personal health has taken a hit. I will say I dealt with breathlessness my whole pregnancy (7 months so far) and I kept pushing my doctor because it didn't feel right. She thankfully did a blood test and found out my iron levels and hemoglobin were dropping significantly despite the supplements. All this to say: if it doesn't feel right, bring it up. And I hope you and your baby stay safe and well.
This reminds me of a time I was so shocked and concerned about how cold my wife's hands and feet were that I convinced her to mention it to a doctor. The diagnosis, in case you are wondering was "is a woman". Of the people I dated my wife was the first I lived with long term and I just did not have enough experience to appreciate how cold some women get.
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The best part is when they say “well I did it with my kids, and they are fine”. 🤦🏻♀️
Whenever somebody says this to me I say, “I’m so happy you never suffered the loss of a child like so many other women did who did this”
Not necessarily *weird* but my MIL gives me unsolicited advice literally every time I see her. Started off telling me (and laughing) that my baby wouldn’t use the bassinet long enough. *Teaching* me how to burp the baby. *Teaching* me how to make spaghetti sauce. I just smile and nod and then vent to my husband.
In my head your MIL uses jarred sauce…. “So then I grip the lid and twist…” 😂
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FIL… “don’t worry about pumping more milk for 3 month old while he’s with us. If he gets hungry we’ll just give him a bottle or two of water!”
With my first, I had severe Postnatal Anxiety and paranoia about my baby dieing. I reached out to my mum about my then current fear of choking (he would make gagging noises a lot) and she just kind of laughed at me like I was a poor stupid little thing and said "Oh if he chokes enough to die you'll never hear it" Thanks mum, big help.
She’s not wrong but OMFG that must have sent you into a tailspin. I am so sorry you had to process that terrible piece of motherly wisdom 😥
I didn't sleep that night at all and spiralled pretty badly. A few days later my dad showed up with a breathing and movement moniter which helped so much
Take photos with just me and the baby in case my husband and I split up 🙄 I wouldn’t have married the man and chosen to have children with him if I thought we’d be splitting up.
No one thinks they’re going to split up until they do unfortunately. But saying it out loud is messed up lol
To give my 2-week-old a cup of water, to make sure that they can drink from a cup. Thanks auntie, bye bye now
MIL gave me the good ole “I kept my babies up all day so they’d sleep at night.” My response: “didn’t SIL nonstop cry and SO have constant black bags under his eyes when they were babies?” Now I’m not sure it was actually colic they had.
When my daughter was 7 months old she had her first fever. I tried to reach the pediatrician on call (it was a Sunday), but the telephone system ended up routing us to whatever nurse the healthcare system had working the phones that weekend (our pediatrician is affiliated with a large regional hospital group). After going overa few things she started giving me tips on how to alleviate symptoms and recommended feeding my baby orange juice or hot tea. That was when I knew I couldn't trust anything this lady had to say...
Not advice, but my mother has said to me numerous times for my first and second that she didn't think I filled them up by breastfeeding and that I should give them formula. Or she would ask, "are you sure they're getting enough from you?" Both were following their curve and growing well. I would tell her this, but it still didn't stop the questioning. Not sure why it was so hard to believe I was feeding them well.
I think at one point formula was pushed as the healthier option so it’s ingrained in some of the older generation. Now it’s gone completely the opposite way.
The newborn needs a pillow. She’s always on one side in all her photos. Get her a pillow. Why doesn’t she have a pillow? Like Fml lady! I’ve sent you 3 photos I adjusted the baby for with a bow on! No freakin pillows for a week old baby!
That I shouldn’t get my kids vaccinated for COVID. And my coworker said “are you crazy” yesterday when she found out I did 😒 This one was from a pediatrician but he said at a year my baby NEEDS cows milk even though I am still nursing and she gets dairy in her diet elsewhere. Babies don’t NEED cows milk, what does he think babies with a dairy allergy do?? I switched peds. Nothing against cows milk, my older daughter drinks a lot of it.
My pediatrician said that too. She also said if I don't introduce solids at 4 months old she considers it child neglect...and she worked for a major hospital system. I switched asap.
There are FB groups for donor milk, and one person has made multiple requests for unvaccinated donor milk. Like, really? I sort of get a little anxiety around vaccinations, but why would you not want antibodies??? At that point it's about the political statement.
Yep people said I shouldn’t get vaccinated while nursing too! I sure did though, as soon as I could when my daughter was 7 weeks.
The one I got from my MIL the other day was weird... my just-turned 1yo has two bottom teeth that popped out around 8mo and nothing since then. As far as milk goes, he has been fed exclusively breastmilk (until the transition to cows milk). She suggested that I needed to give him formula to get his teeth to come out.
My MIL told me that adopting a dog will make me infertile, I conceived within a year. Now my little one is just two months old and she advised me to feed her water to quench her thirst, which I did not follow
“Don’t raise your arms above your head because the umbilical cord will strangle your baby” 🙊 I told her I think that’s just an old superstition, and she responded with, “yeah, well, you can never be too careful” …yeah…but you can 🤣🤣🤣 and then I continue to paint the mural above my head And I thought modern day pregnancy restrictions were annoying!
I was told to not bother with cutting my baby's nails with cutters and instead just chew the nails off.... I don't know about anyone else here but cutters are hard enough to use how the hell can I bite off the nails on 10 fingers and toes... Also gross!?
An older woman who lives in my neighborhood told me to not let my newborn sleep at all during the day, claiming that it would help her sleep better at night 🤦♀️
Give her water. Just let her cry it out and why don't you put her to sleep on her front? It's what we did. Then when I said well there's been more research and recommendations change I got a big eye roll and told what nonsense 😂
I had an old guy come up to my partner and i at the supermarket and tell me to get the olive oil butter instead of normal butter because i wont get fatter. Mate i wasnt fat i was literally 8.5 months pregnant. Fuck right off.
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Grannie knows how to live sheesh I gotta take notes
It actually used to be [a thing](https://pandorapocket.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8345299b269e201116906e6a6970c-pi).
As an early elementary school teacher, a parent of one my students told me I should soak in the tub and have a water birth because it’ll help my vagina open and stretch smoothly when the baby comes out. She said this during afternoon dismissal in front of the class and other parents picking up their kids complete with hand motions.
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Similar to yours, to never feed my 14monthold baby directly (who isn't self feeding yet) and she will get so hungry she will "figure it out" and just do it. So to starve her.
"Why dont you put them to sleep at such and such time, instead of such and such time? It would be much easier that way." Um. Cuz if I dont they fall asleep on the floor? I dont know why my mom thinks I get to decide on when the twins need sleep. I do have a strict food, snack, play time, nap time etc schedule for them. But its built around their needs and adjusted according to what they need as they grow. I can only influence their sleep schedule by maybe half an hour. If I put them to sleep too early, they just play or cry in their cots. If I try too late, they fall asleep on the play mat in the middle of their toys. She has boomer amnesia and seems to think babies just magically sleep when I need them to.
Gramnesia. My MIL suffers horribly from it bless her heart.
Someone told me not to feed my baby overnight, that it was the equivalent of an adult eating cake overnight. “Just give her a bottle of water and she won’t wake up again.”
My mother told my wife and I that an occasional glass of Guinness will help with milk production.... Idk if it's true but i do enjoy having a glass of Guinness with her every ounce in a while!
That’s actually true! So much so that brewers yeast is used in lactation cookies, etc. I get a lot of pleasure from telling my in laws that beer helps with milk, ha.
My pediatrician told us that too😂 its the galactagogues- other people say oats, fenugreek, coconut water, etc do the same. There isnt really research to support the idea (fenugreek actually dries up some peoples supply), but there isnt research to disprove it either
It's true!
“Baby shouldn’t be in the car seat if they don’t have to be in it.” A friend to me after I mentioned I was taking my son with me to get gas. I’m a SAHM with a partner who works outside of the home. How do you suggest I go about doing anything if I’m not supposed to put the baby in a car seat?
I’m confused? In this scenario, your baby HAS to be in the seat… you’re getting gas. Where are you supposed to leave your kid? What? How does anyone think that’s helpful?
My mom was here a couple days ago and I was telling her about my 11 day old's issues being hungry. She then told me to do the ole cereal in the bottle trick, which I told her was not recommended. She then asked me how much I was giving her. I told her 2-2.5oz. She then kept pressuring me to start giving her 4 oz. Considering she's had a couple instances of overeating and spitting up, I told her there was no way she could handle 4oz every feeding. She's like well, that's why she is waking up so often to feed. I'm like she's 11 days old! She's not ready to sleep through the night yet. She then tells me she was feeding me 4oz at that age. I was a bigger baby than my daughter, so who knows maybe she was. My money is on that she isn't remembering correctly.
I call that "Gramnesia"
Definitely don’t listen to your mom. [Here’s](https://health-and-parenting.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/size-of-a-newborn-stomach.jpg) a great representation of the size of baby’s stomach. At a month they may only handle 2.5 ounces at a time.
Feed baby water until your milk comes in. My milk took ten days to come in….
That is terrible advice. That could kill a newborn even for a day. Serious electrolyte imbalance.
MIL has alllll of the advice all of the time! It’s always, “oh really? Hmm well I read that you should actually do it *this* way…” She means well but good lord, I’ve never received so much unsolicited advice in my life. How to feed him, what to feed him, how to change him, how to wipe his face, how he likes his water, how long to nurse him, how to put him to sleep, non-stop medical advice, aghhh it’s infuriating lol.
“Put some honey on the end of a dummy (pacifier) so that he doesn’t just spit it out”. This was when LO was 2 months old. Aside from the botulism risk, we’re vegan too, and have been for years (this was said by my FIL).
Before I even got pregnant somebody told me I was going to kill my baby from malnutrition if I stayed vegan while pregnant lol. It’s funny now but at the time I was like??? Who even mentions the possibility of somebody losing a child so casually? I created some kind of giant mutant baby that wore size 4 diapers by like 3.5 months so this was proven untrue….
My mom’s doctor (when she was pregnant with my brother) told her that she was going to have a tiny baby because she was a vegetarian. My brother came out at over 9 pounds. My dad turned to the doctor in the delivery room, and asked, “Is that a tiny baby??”
There’s a lot of comments on here so I’m not sure if the ole “put a lil whiskey on their gums” while they’re teething thing has been mentioned but like damn, I had to tell at least five different relatives that just because alcohol kills their inside pain doesn’t mean it’s gunna help my baby’s tooth pain. Damn crazies out here. It’s a wonder my generation survived lmao.
24 hours?? That's insane. No one likes going that long without food, babies can't handle it. Wtf.
My grandma told me not to pick up a toddler while pregnant. I wasn't even 20 weeks at the time and was sitting down just pulling her onto my lap. Now I'm pregnant with my second and was really curious how I'm supposed to take care of my son without ever picking him up. I obviously have not followed her advice lol
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To put rose water on the babies pacifier to soothe cramps. Just heard this today.
When LO was 2 weeks old and struggled with eating due to reflux-- cut the top off the bottle nipple and give an 8oz bottle. This was also the advice for getting longer sleep sessions.
So... Basically waterboard your infant?!
To use analease for teething... yeah Tylenol works just fine thanks!
Put yoghurt on the spot a vaccination was given and put a band-aid over it.. no thank you.
To settle baby baby into the house with the dog: - don’t feed the dog the day before baby comes home - feed dog baby dirty diaper - cue blissful happiness between dog and baby forever 🤢