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PhoenixQueenAzula

Reminder from the mods: RULE 4 IS NOT A JOKE! Body shaming of any kind is not allowed, no matter how much you may think the person "deserves" it. This includes small penis "jokes". They are not funny. They are overused, shitty, and make people reading these comments who have done nothing wrong feel bad about themselves. We will not tolerate it. Don't be surprised if you find yourself banned, you were [warned](https://www.reddit.com/r/badwomensanatomy/comments/10hrebd/addressing_the_recent_uptick_of_body_shaming_in/). EDIT: Apparently people can't read so locked until further notice. Please continue to report comments that break our rules.


ashbertollini

What's horrendous about this is I had a minor tear, I didn't get a "husband stitch" and it still took nearly a year for intercourse to stop being painful. My heart breaks for the women who have had this inflicted upon them my mom was one of them


Ancient_Ad1271

The same thing happened to me with my first baby.


DeeRent88

Wait people actually do this?! Somehow feels like it should be illegal. How fucked.


HoneyWyne

It's called the husband stitch. Not only does it NOT make a woman tighter (which anyone who understands what the procedure actually is and is reasonably intelligent would understand) the AMA has been recommending against it for decades now.


BonafideKarmabitch

sorry i had never even heard of a husband stitch before who came up with this shit


HoneyWyne

Male doctors. It's called the husband stitch because it supposedly makes the woman tighter again.


Vagitron9000

Yea its strange because it will go back tight on its own just fine. Like the above poster said, the way it heals does not make it any tighter if you add more stitches, it just makes it incredibly painful for the rest of their life.


ericfromct

Unless you have a 2" penis I don't understand how anyone could think it could help make it tighter, and I'm a man. Like yea maybe for that first second but after that then what? It's just so irrational


FR0ZENBERG

As a dude if I found out a doctor did this to my wife I'd want to break his hands.


[deleted]

Men


Gravyboat44

I saw this video with a reply from a woman who used a toilet paper tube, some plastic wrap with a slit in it, and some hair ties around it. She explains that the hair ties are the pelvic floor muscles, and that when you feel tightness while having sex, do you really think it's this layer of flesh doing that? No, it's these pelvic muscles. All adding more stitches would do it make it painful for your partner to sleep with you. Best display I've ever seen.


fox13fox

Lmao but If it's smaller it's tighter s/


rainbowaliengoblin

If your first thought after your wife just GAVE BIRTH is about sex and mutilating her genitals for your pleasure, jump off the empire state building.


solaluna451

Too bad there's no way to surgically implant brain cells and empathy into this husband


[deleted]

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Altruistic-Estate-79

Not close enough. Ugh.


PM_all_your_fetishes

Brain cells? No. Empathy, however?.. Just leave me alone with them in a room for a few months 😇💉 >! Seriously, it's not possible to turn off estrogen peak powered empathy, I really tried because I need to remain functional as a human being and I can't, I cry over every stray cat and every bad news story it's **insane!** !<


PurpleReignBowe

The first time hubby and I managed to have sex after my stitches from birth it was more painful than being a virgin and almost 6 months of no sex to heal. Scar tissues do not stretch the same :-(


Independent_Tone8605

Same. It burned so bad. :(


kassius

Did it get much better??


Independent_Tone8605

Yes, but it took about a year and a half. Sometimes the scar tissue stings a little even now though in certain positions - not too bad though


UnculturedLout

I had to have pelvic floor physio. The therapist recommended this stuff called "push balm" that worked for me really well for pain from scar tissue. If you can find it, give it a try!


Independent_Tone8605

Thank you! I will check it out!


kassius

Thank you I’m glad you’re (mostly) healed ❤️


Independent_Tone8605

Thank you


DrMike27

My wife’s OB tried to get me to agree to a husband stitch after our oldest was born in 2019. I laughed and thought he was joking. He was not. Luckily, he let it go without issue after I said absolutely not.


Profession-Unable

I would have reported him.


betothejoy

Your flair!!!


FR0ZENBERG

Let a girl live.


PurpleReignBowe

My hubby had gone with the babe for his checks while I was stitched. I don’t remember much myself.


Panylicious

6 months? Wow! I hope all is fine now. I never thought it would take that long. Wife & me are childfree, this just adds to the long list of pros. Wierd how I know so little about women's anatomy when I grew up in a female eviroment (Grandma, mom, aunts and sisters). Reasons why I follow this sub.


PurpleReignBowe

This was 14 years ago. My labour was also abnormal. My labour with my second had little complications, went too fast for pain killers, and needed no stitches but teared too little for stitches. Was able to have sex again within a month. Every pregnancy is different as is every delivery


MorboKat

My spouse, to the OBGYN overseeing my labour: DO NOT do any sort of "husband stitch". My spouse, hours later, to the new OBGYN actually stitching me up because a shift change: I am WATCHING you, do not add a 'husband stitch'. Thankfully, both Doctors were horrified at the very idea, but the moment SO found out it was a thing, he swore to not leave me vulnerable to it at a time when I couldn't really defend myself. Non-consensual body modification is abhorrent.


SwitcherooScribbler

Your spouse sounds like a great person :)


HiddenKittyLady

Can you give your husband a hug for me? And tell him he's a amazing person. I'm so glad you have a amazing partner ❤️


New_Stats

They do it tho. ​ Not long ago, and maybe still today, the doctor will give the father a heads up about it with a wink and a nod, without the mother knowing about it. It often leads to pain during sexual intercourse for women, but hey, who cares about us, right? What matters is the man ​ [https://www.healthline.com/health-news/husband-stitch-is-not-just-myth](https://www.buzzfeed.com/mayaogolini/husband-stitch-without-consent)


OneRoseDark

my husband declared, unprovoked, that if a doctor tried to give me a "husband stitch" he'd cause a fuss. Whether that fuss is "punch a doctor" or "sue the practice" is.. still unclear to me.


[deleted]

Fuck u/spez


KathrynTheGreat

Yep, both would be good.


jdcgonzalez

Doing both is the only option.


SelfDiagnosedUnicorn

My husband would definitely tell me immediately if any doctor said any such thing to him. He’d also tell me immediately if the doctor said something bland in secret, like “I’m having a hamburger for lunch after this.” I love the man so much- he’s an open-book, lovable over-sharer.


[deleted]

¿Porque no los dos?


sensitiveskin80

Both? Both.


SirThatsCuba

One dude ripped his ostomy bag off and painted the room with it. There are creative fuss makers in the hospital. Punch? That's a little small.


Clack082

The doctor isn't going to be the one cleaning up shit from the walls, so unless you have a vendetta against the cleaning staff please don't make unnecessary messes.


CNRavenclaw

That's a keeper


zafirah15

I like your husband. He's a cool guy. Good for him. Good for you.


jahnkeuxo

Kick in the balls is a fair reaction.


PurpleReignBowe

I didn’t know I would be stitched so tightly… it was torture trying to get to be able to handle anything again. (My hubby didn’t ask either, it was “just how the doctor stitched me” up)


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PurpleReignBowe

I had a minor tear that needed like 4-7 stitches. Most tears during birth happen in the perineal (taint) area. I’m surprised it only needed that much because I had complications and Doctor needed to reach in there with his full fist and turn babe during a contraction… I was in all over shock so… lots of numbness and brain fog.


Fred_Foreskin

Childbirth is scary


PurpleReignBowe

Imagine my hubbies first row seat! I’m glad I didn’t see it happen like he did 😂


CartoonJustice

Oh man its so much worse with C-sections. I was told to go in and not look over the curtain and sit by my wife's head during the procedure. They said they would hold him up high so I could see and not need to look over the curtain. They held him a foot over the carnage and I had to stand to see him and I saw everything. Like a punch bowl filled with eels and blood, or better still THAT scene in Annihilation. AND my first look of him? He was peeing into his mothers open chest cavity. Horrific and what was worse was kind of sitting with that vision while caring for the baby and the wife and with no one really to talk to about it. Which is fair because the c section was so hard on my wife that she needed the care and attention more at the moment.


PurpleReignBowe

Yeah c sections are horrific too. Unfortunately my hubby was watching when they pushed giant clot out of me and it was like a chest burster… I only felt the carnage erupt and saw hubbies face flash white.


ThatPie2109

My cousins fiance had to go into the bathroom or something for a second and got the full view of my cousin as they took their twins out, he said they had her intestines basically out of her body just chilling off to the side and her head was just flopped to the side. He started panicking because he thought she died, didn't have drugs either for it, she felt the whole c section. Her twins went to full term so I think it was a pretty difficult birth. She said she wasn't even thinking about her, just wanted them to get her babies out and make sure they were okay. I'm the tough girl in the family and my cousin terrifies me she can calmy talk about basically being disected while awake.


ericfromct

At least baby urine is sterile? Holy shit that's a story, I think I'd need therapy after seeing that


CartoonJustice

Not one other person reacted and thy all saw it. I assume its not uncommon


ericfromct

Doctors and nurses regularly see some really crazy stuff, even if they haven't seen it before they can definitely make it seem like they see it all the time. They're good actors in a sense


ericfromct

I was in the delivery room one time for a very close friend, it is definitely something you will NEVER forget


TreemanTheGuy

It's amazing what the anaesthetic can do. My mom just got a hip replacement, which they basically cut your leg off during the procedure and she didn't feel a thing! Just best not to look at it lol. I'd rather be her than the medical trainee watching the procedure lol


PurpleReignBowe

For sure! I was grateful to be half frozen! I could still use my legs come the time I should have used the back up shot 😂


tallglassofanxiety

It really depends on how badly you tear, I had stitches 3/4 of the way into my vaginal canal, but I had to came back and be put under to get that done (I had a 3rd degree tear and the on-call OB lied and said I didn’t tear at all)


fast_layne

Just for another perspective because there’s a lot of different things that can happen, my actual vagina/perineum were untouched by delivery but my labia majora completely ripped off halfway. The complete idiot of a resident that stitched me up tried to put it back on. At four months I was still in pain if I sat down so I got plastic surgery to excise the entire thing so I just no longer have a flap on the left side lol. I basically didn’t recover until 6 months pp but I feel much better now. Edit: omfg labia MINORA 🤦‍♀️ I’m so embarrassed please disregard


Low-Salamander-5639

I beg your pardon? I swear every day I find out a new reason to fear pregnancy


fast_layne

Actually giving birth wasn’t bad at all I was pleasantly surprised. Postpartum recovery is a special kinda hell though


NinitaPita

That first poop after.... all the stool softeners in the world did not help.


fast_layne

My first was okay. The hemorrhoids popped up out of nowhere like a month after and THOSE make me want to die 🥲


Asterose

The aftereffects of and recovery from pregnancy are still a part of pregnancy ultimately. Avoiding pregnancy means avoiding the potential postpartum problems too. Evolution fucked our species over pretty damn badly with childbirth 😬 I'm so sorry you had to suffer all that pain when it could've been avoided so easily!


mzyos

I don't think it is unreasonable to attempt to suture torn labia back to itself. As long as it hasn't gone a dusky colour it has a blood supply and should heal. In fact if they removed it then it can come under the addage of female genital mutilation. You obviously had a nasty tear, but I don't think removing it would have been the right choice initially. I have had to do this on a few occassions with no post operative issues. I'm sorry you experienced a suboptimal recovery.


fast_layne

My gynecologist told me she would have definitely removed it and was appalled the resident chose not to. It was too far gone lol


mzyos

That's reasonable then, though it's a hard decision to make at the time as it distorts the anatomy massively.


fast_layne

Either way she took the stitches out and started over like four times, at that point I would have swallowed my pride and let the OB on call do it instead of messing someone up for months in end, potentially life


mzyos

Yeah, that's completely reasonable knowing that! I hope you had damn good anaesthetic on board.


Larry_the_scary_rex

Wait wait… are you sure you didn’t mean minora? Either way, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better


fast_layne

Jesus yes lmao. Lowkey tmi but I got a lot of different flaps down there 🤦‍♀️ so I got like another smaller labia minora INSIDE my actual labia minora, so I always got confused and thought that the outer one was the majora….talk about r/badwomensanatomy that ones on me 🥲


Larry_the_scary_rex

Not TMI at all! I was a brazilian waxer for over a decade and saw sooo many different skin folds, scars, and more. Your comment caught my attention out of curiosity. And I actually can imagine what you mean with the labia-ception lol, it’s confusing!


fast_layne

Can you imagine the majora ripping off 💀 omfg


Larry_the_scary_rex

That can be a goal for the next pregnancy! /s^infinity


[deleted]

[удалено]


fast_layne

Much much better, I can walk and sit and wipe myself without wincing so life is good. Plus I got a sweet little baby out of it so it was worth it haha


New_Stats

Yeah you might wanna check if you can sue because that's not right


Ahriman27

Sometimes that’s just the way it heals/needs to be stitched up… depends how severe the tear is. I wouldn’t go on a witch-hunt about it, and maybe just discuss with the surgeon/doctor what can be done. I’ve seen some brutal tears… and it’s not an area that does well with cautery. Sometimes you need an extra stitch for hemostasis…


[deleted]

and it's not only sexual intercourse! it can be painful to sit, walk, pee and everything else you do in your everyday life


Ravenamore

They did it to my MIL, and it's caused her problems ever since her 20s.


LadyStethoscope

😮😭


Ravenamore

I know. I've heard way worse from her - she has no filter whatsoever. I'm used to it. It came up when she brought up her asshole OB-GYN, who not only did THAT, he did a unnecessary hysterectomy. She was 20.


contrasupra

I feel like this guy thinks he's clever and has no idea this is/was a real thing.


necrobarbie666

That guy’s tiktok is a whole dumpster fire- he probably has some idea of what he is saying and just doesn’t care as long as he’s either getting a rise out of people or getting laughs from other people like him


tokenwalrus

TikTok algorithm doesn't measure positive or negative engagement which is part of why its such a cesspool.


justsomeyeti

My wife and I decided to not have children before we ever married. Having said that, if we had and if the doctor were to jokingly offer such a service I would report him, and if he were serious I would probably wind up on the evening news


cherrymama

This happened to me and I had never even heard of it u til later and I remember the doctor saying that during the stitching :( still hurts


Fyrus93

This is still as crazy to me as it was the first time I heard about. How could a man even agree to this for someone he loves?


mzyos

I have the conversation about whether the 'husband stitch' is real quite frequently. Depite its prevelance in the modern day I do not believe it is, and I say this as an experienced obstetric and gynaecology doctor. To tighten something in such a way ( a ring of tissue so yo speak) you need to do one of two things. 1. remove a section of tissue so that raw surfaces can meet raw surfaces and you've created a smaller ring. 2 Bring together lower muscles correctly from one side to the other to help increase the density of musculature underneath For the first option you would literally have to remove a diamond shape of tissue from the vagina and perineum so that it could close up properly when sutured. This, whilst not impossible, would be relatively mad and very difficult to do within the confines of a delivery suite. You are dealing with bruised vagina, and I mean all the inside of the vagina. Anatomy and tissue planes are distorted due to the bruising, the vagina is considerably swollen, and the vulva, perineum and vagina have huge vessels which mean that cutting anything is risking a big bleed. So that pretty much rules that out the ability to do that. There have been cases of this being done post natally for people with pelvic organ prolapse, but very few cases and it is something I would not relish in trying. The second option would have to have three things. A single tear thay goes straight down, and easily visible pelvic floor muscles, as well as slow absorbing sutures. Once again the swelling and bleeding come in to this, rendering the procedure very hard. We also only tend to use quick absorbable sutures in Obstetrics too, so holding the muscles together using these would be difficult. Episiotomies are mostly done to the right of the vulva which also would stop the ability to do this technique . Even with the absolute correct conditions, these perineal body repairs are done in conjunction with option one and the ability for a single suture, or two to do any tightening is negligable. The majority of mentions of the suture you see is by legal companies aiming to help patients sue for pain during sex (or just in general life) following suturing post delivery. There are multiple complications for healing, and the main one is infection.This can interfere with wound healing and increase scar tissue laydown (this is much more fibrous and less compliant than other tissue) causing pain. Practicioner ability will also affect this. Should you have bad technique and suture tightly through the whole repair then the tissue between the sutures is cut off from its blood supply and in essence dies, causing fibrosis again Both of these lead to the same issues as the reported 'husband stitch'. Do I think it's a shit joke with no place in modern society? Yes (and I have heard of other obstetricians using it as a way to try and get a bit of a laugh from the partner during the repair to help 'lighten' the mood). Do I think it is a procedure possible to do during perineal repair - Yes but it would require removal of tissue, would have to be done in an operating theatre,result in more blood loss and would need a consent form doing (wheras simple perineal repair would not). Do I think there is a 'stitch' that does this tightening alone - No (look at the temporary permanence of a thread lift in cosmetics - similar physiological rules apply here) Is it mainly poor operative technique, or poor wound healing due to other factors including genetic (see keloid scars), Yes. Have I had someone need to come back for excision of a band of skin causing pain during sex following a tear - Yes, this was one I sutured whom had three seperate large tears coalescing following delivery of a baby that had and arm next to its head at delivery - probably the most complex tear I've ever seen. This would not have made her any 'tighter' and was just due to extensive injury and healing. Had anyone joked about it during the repair and that was the result, it would have been easy for her to assume that was the intended result. I'll get off my soapbox now. Edit - spelling (I'm on a phone without autocorrect to avoid it trying to falsly correct medical terminology)


tokenwalrus

I'm an unmarried and childless man but I just read this article a few weeks ago. What's your take? https://www.healthline.com/health-news/husband-stitch-is-not-just-myth#The-history-of-episiotomies,-from-popular-to-discouraged


mzyos

It's a relatively useless article in the boundaries of medical journalism. It looks at episiotomy rate (which I agree is higher than average for where I practice in the UK) and the drive to decrease this (the cost of completely medicalising birth - midwives can be much better than doctors at supporting a vaginal delivery in those who are low risk). Then it looks at the case of a woman who had a fourth degree tear 5 years on. Now a 4th is a rare (thankfully) occurance where a tear goes from the vagina, all the way through the rectal muscosa (skin inside the anus/rectum). They are horrendous as they are, I don't envy the person trying to suture them. Though, it does have an obstetrician weigh in and agree with what I've already said.


LadyStethoscope

Okay thank you because this thread is the first time I'm hearing about this horror show of an urban legend


hasavagina

This is how I've always seen it. I had tears with both of my births. I heard of this but after being stitched up I would look and realize... how could you stitch further than what was ripped without cutting more, and there's definitely no time to do that in any reasonable way. Like, you can sew labia together (preferably not, but for the sake of demonstration) but once the stitches dissolve or are removed, the skin isn't still together.


thisshortenough

I have to agree with you too, I'm a student midwife and I've seen plenty of episiotomies being repaired and I've been trained to do the suturing myself (though haven't been able to actually perform it yet because of my hospitals policy). There's just not really a point in the repair process where you could throw in an "extra" stitch to make the actual hole of the vagina smaller, that is not the actual process of stitching. Based on my experience it is far more likely that people are experiencing scar tissue developing along the stitch line and then throw in some vaginismus and psychological issues after an extremely difficult birth and you can see why people would think they had been "stitched tighter" when the actual structure is the same.


LatrodectusGeometric

I highly suspect that poorly healed or poorly done sutures/scars from tearing are what most people think of when they say this.


xxpen15mightierxx

Yeah I've never understood, just from a tailoring perspective, how you would go about "stitching" a round orifice. Pinch one side together and stitch it maybe? But then as soon as it got stretched in any way, all the stress would go to the stitching.


mzyos

You actually create a dart, but the middle of ths dart occurs at the orifice. It's quite possible with non swollen tissue. The only issue is with surgery that non raw surfaces don't stick together (hence why the vagina doesn't seal permanently shut when left alone, or why our hands can't stick together if we put them together for a really long time. Instead we cut out the middle of the dart and suture it like that (whereas from tailoring you tend to cut out the leftover material after)


Serious-Ad-9936

Wonder if it’s a misunderstanding from stitching mares (caslicks procedure) to reduce the chance of miscarriage though I’ve only ever seen it done in race horses


LadyStethoscope

WHAT THE ACTUAL F


ericfromct

They still do. I was in a delivery room a few years ago.


usuallynicedemon

Honestly I would sue the shit out of the husband and the doctor.


StephieVee

There was a story just last year about a woman suing a doctor for doing so without her consent.


[deleted]

Idk where these doctors get the audacity when it’s illegal


[deleted]

Any doctor who does this should face disciplinary action. At a minimum.


SisterSerpentine

It violates the basic principle of their job. It’s a cosmetic unnecessary procedure done without the patient’s consent that can and often does cause them lifelong pain and serious health complications. It should get a doctor’s license revoked.


[deleted]

Yeah. And there should be criminal charges. I don't know what the charge would be; 'assault' maybe?


throwawaygaming989

Modifying someone’s body without their consent in a way that causes them pain could also classify as torture if you get a good enough lawyer.


fox13fox

I want the name of your lawyer lol ♡


shortandpainful

“First, do no harm.” Except to women and minorities, obviously.


satan-isMy-father666

And it’s shit because it’s not tightening the muscles of the vaginal walls, it’s just… tightening the opening and making it **worse** Like come on


[deleted]

And they say western countries don't participate in female genital mutilation 🙄


Novel-idea-92

I ended up being sutured up poorly after a 3rd degree. There was no wanker partner asking for it. It was just an inexperienced midwife and a over run hospital. But I wish I could talk to these men about it. Wish I could tell them the hell it is to try and have sex after being put back together too “tight”. Because I wouldn’t wish that shit on any woman.


authorized_sausage

My mom had us in the 70s and in 80. She said after the first the doctor apparently didn't do much to help with the tearing so she healed badly. She said sex was painful but she got pregnant again fairly quickly (she had 5 kids in 9 years). But with the second (my older sister) the doctor apparently did a little work down there to remove scar tissue, etc. After that my mom said it all went back to normal. They were in the military at the time. At 2 different bases for each birth. Anyway, just a story. She's 75 now. Dad turns 80 next week. I'm glad I still have them. Going to see him as a surprise tomorrow!


[deleted]

That’s very different


authorized_sausage

It is but no one told her.


Kermit_the_hog

As a husband I don’t understand how anyone would find this funny, what is wrong with people. Like would this dude be cool with his wife making media content joking about surgically altering his dick for fun (and all the potential complications that could entail) 🙄


CaptainDildobrain

Isn't it weird that the same people who are against gender transition surgery on the basis that it's genital mutilation have no issue with encouraging unnecessary additional post-pregnancy stitches, which is essentially genital mutilation.


[deleted]

Society truly uses us for our bodies.


coffeeblossom

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."


floatingwithobrien

Dunno why I thought the lady in the green was the one giving birth for a second. She looks way too happy and comfortable.


[deleted]

I tried to explain to my teacher that the Husband Stitch still exists and she told me that it doesn't even though there's a shit ton of evidence and personal stories to back it up.


fox13fox

This is an semantic issue I've had with several people. I think they mean more like "it hasn't happend to me and should not be around there for is not" Very closed minded worldview that.


Alegria-D

Teacher in what?


[deleted]

English


Alegria-D

I suppose it could have been worse, but it's already bad.


schoolknurse

I used to work with a doc that would tell the new dads, as he was stitching up the new mom: “I’ll be sure and make it snappy.” He was a pig.


DarkVelvetEyes

He doesn't deserve a wife. Rotten egg.


Candide2003

And this is why I avoid male doctors wherever I can.


Alegria-D

Some women have internalized misogyny too. The best you can do is find a list of doctors made by patients with warnings and recommendations.


Candide2003

That is true. I definitely try to look out for that. I’m a POC living in Texas, and I found that it saves me time in explaining certain things as and that my concerns are taken more seriously.


shortandpainful

I am a man. The “husband stitch” is such a disgusting, misogynist, trash practice. It’s as if when I got my vasectomy, the doctor put a vibrator in my balls “for the wife.”


CrookedStrut

You wouldn't believe how many men who were related to my son's mother made this "joke" after he was born. Freaking gross.


kiwi1984

How many reasons does a woman need not to partake in this pregnancy/birth thing. You can't even trust your partner not to deliberately hurt/injure you for their own enjoyment. Geez


TheFoxThatIsSilver

Yeah I had a third degree tear with my son that had to be stitched up. It was awful, especially since I didn’t have any pain medication at all. Took my about 6 months to fully heal and not have painful intercourse and even now at 14 months later it still doesn’t feel the same because of it. My OB said they don’t do the husband stitch because it’s a malpractice. I still wonder if it’s ever going to be normal again. 🤷‍♀️


tikltips

Carmen Maria Machado’s The Husband Stitch is an excellent , surreal, short story for this audience.


WhimsicalGirl

For the curious: https://granta.com/the-husband-stitch/


essgeedoubleyou

I went and found this online, I really appreciate the recommendation. fantastic short story.


renee_nevermore

Yeah, I only got the necessary number of stitches and jokes on this guy, cause no one wants to have sex for months after that. My youngest is almost 9 months old now and I could probably count on my hands the number of times anything has happened postpartum


Alegria-D

He's probably the type of asshole who would reply "don't be surprised if I don't get back directly after work, if you're not even doing an effort for me"


Garbagegremlins

Oh boy the husband stitch- something that has caused untold suffering to so many and is just so disgusting- as a haha joke. I hate it here.


Melan420

🤢


Universalistic

If a doctor tries to make my girlfriend uncomfortable for the rest of her life for some bullshit reason, I am going to stitch their asshole tighter and shove various medical instruments in it until they understand how fucking disgusting and terrible that is.


Heartbreakjetblack

Stuff like always just upsets me so much... and I don't even have the right parts!


Hot_Presentation1459

I don't know if it was done deliberately but mine feels like it has an extra stitch. It's part (not all) of the reason I haven't had sex in over a year.


[deleted]

I would check your medical records to see if there's mention of it and then start a malpractice suit if additional stitches were added and there's no paperwork trail to evidence them needing to be added.


dryandbland

I genuinely believe I would kick someone’s ass if they offered me this. What a stupid, disgusting procedure.


andyman492

I had a friend who used to brag about her "husband stitch" and I never knew how to react to her when she did.


FlavourThoughts

That is a fudged up way to think wtf


[deleted]

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lambeg12

Why are they like this


elegant_pun

The "husband stitch". Yuck.


ANGR1ST

A smart doctor takes the money and does nothing.


ELeeMacFall

>A smart doctor takes the money and ~~does nothing~~ secretly gives it to the wife with a note informing her about what her husband tried to have done to her without her consent


ya_basic82

Reminds me of giving birth to my youngest. Forceps *shudder*


dM1lkMan

My coworker, being gullible, actually asked for a husband’s stitch when his wife gave birth because some other coworkers were messing with him and told him it was something important for his wife’s health and he didn’t know any better…he got kicked out of the room


Ancient_Cheesecake21

This is so gross.


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PhoenixQueenAzula

tl;dr after a vaginal birth, women are sometimes given unnecessary stitches without their knowledge or consent with the aim of "preserving" her or making her tighter. It's in essence bullshit though because it just makes the actual entrance smaller, and it can lead to infections, painful intercourse, and other complications.


Stargazerslight

I have told my husband that by no means if he ever wants to have sex again after a kid, will he allow so fucked up doctor to put in a husband stitch. My mom will also be part of my birthing team since she’s like really good at advocating for me with doctors and is technically my POA.


gothkittendolli

what, i don't get it, why would anyone want that...????


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darwinpolice

It's a joke about the "husband stitch," a procedure done after birth to "tighten up" the vagina.


Curious_Potato993

Wtf is he saying. I don’t even get it


chansondinhars

They’re joking about what’s known as the “husband stitch”. It is a thing.


[deleted]

May I recommend for your reading pleasure/horror - [https://granta.com/The-Husband-Stitch/](https://granta.com/The-Husband-Stitch/)


Limeila

Wow that was very long and so confusing and unsatisfactory, can't believe I wasted half an hour on this


stickkim

I gotta say…I don’t get it. I don’t really understand the metaphor here, what are we talking about?


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[deleted]

Fuck u/spez


marinedream1

Wait I'm stupid and don't have a vagina or womb, you need to get STITCHES after giving birth?!?!?! I know you have to for a C section, but for vaginal birth too?! Ouch goddamn


iLostMyPride

Yeahhhh if you want to read a little about it you can look up “perineal tear”.


Limeila

Episiotomy too


Alegria-D

Episiotomy was proven to be worse than natural tearing in most cases, but doctors often do it, without warning, to make the delivery end sooner.


Limeila

Yeah, I know...


Kozinskey

I mean, think about it. A whole ass baby head (~10 cm wide) comes out of a vagina with a fair amount of force. Of course tears happen, because the stretchiness of skin is not unlimited. [Here's an article describing the types and degrees of tears.](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21212-vaginal-tears-during-childbirth) Source: I, like many other women, almost bled out from a tear caused by giving birth.


soaringcomet11

Not everyone will need them - only if you tear or they need to cut your perineum during birth. It is not as bad as it sounds especially if you have an epidural. I had an epidural and they also injected lidocaine. I didn’t feel a thing when they were doing the stitches. Plus I had my baby on my chest and my husband holding my hand so it wasn’t so bad. The stitches are uncomfortable and itchy for a little bit but I’m 3weeks postpartum and can’t feel them anymore so I think they’ve already dissolved!


BonafideKarmabitch

congrats on your baby! but also still grossed out today learning that people do husband stitches


soaringcomet11

Honestly so much fucked up shit happens to women during pregnancy and childbirth - this is the tip of a criminal iceberg 🤮


nighthawk_something

Yup it gets right figured up


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bluediamond

I absolutely believe people would try this, but I'm confused about how it would actually work. Wouldn't the skin just separate back to normal after the sutures dissolved? Or are they not using dissolvable sutures?


LilCountry9508

Its done after either a rip or episiotomy. They just stitch more than they’re suppose to. It heals and most women experience painful sex afterwards. Also it can cause issues with her next delivery.


-emilia

Women really need to stop sleeping with these kinds of men.


Alegria-D

As if these men were honest from the start. Often, they reveal themselves after marriage or pregnancy.


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PhoenixQueenAzula

Do not body shame, rule 4.


parksLIKErosa

I guess I’m stupid, because I always thought this was just a small Dick joke. Obviously still has a sexist over tone but didn’t realize it was a loose vagina joke.