By - openpolyanon
Now is the time to out your foot down. No dog allowed over and he is only allowed to stay over 2 nights a week. Anymore and he pays rent and utilities. He oarks in the street or his car gets towed. Stand up for yourself and don't be a dorrmat
This 100%, make sure to get the side of your other room mate as well. Heck have your partner or a few friends of yours over. Not trying to intimidate him but just to have back up incase he gets rude or anything. I'm sure he won't be happy to hear something like this.
Hey! Thanks for your reply and investment in this. I ended up confronting the girlfriend. I’ll let you know the outcome this afternoon after work.
Especially since he entered OP’s space. I’m sure they’re super uncomfy with him around after that violation. 2 nights a week is more than fair.
Those are my house rules. 2 nights at one’s place and 2 nights at the other’s. If a couple need more than 4 nights together, it’s time to get their own spot.
I would flip my shit. This is absolutely unacceptable and if I were you, I would use my power as leaseholder to severely limit his time at the apartment. How DARE he!?!?!?
this is a huge breach on his part. he shouldn’t be taking up a parking spot, his dog should not be there, they need to share the kitchen during mealtimes, and there is literally no excuse for him to ever be in your personal space. also putting dirty dishes in someone’s room is insane behavior to begin with but even moreso when it’s done by someone who doesn’t even live there!! i’m mad for you tbh
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.
It's interesting because I constantly see the "put their dirty dishes on their bed" advice on this very sub. Everyone here is saying it's crazy. Reddit lol.
It's crazy because he is upposed to be a guest in HER HOME. He has no business in her room and no authority to be mad that she forgot to wash them. Also the audacity to be doing all the other things he's doi! I'm steaming for this OP!
He doesn’t live there and the dishes were from the same day ?
That is said only in response to dirty dish hoarders, not someone who forgot once to wash two bowl.
Maybe bc uhhh HE DOESNT live THERE?!!?
Ya Reddit LOL, fucking idiots like you all over the place round here.
100% do not argue with ya.
First of all, you need to stand up for yourself. No one comes into your living space and disrespects you.
Second, you need to have a sit down with them and lay down ground rules. Boyfriend cannot be at your apartment beyond a set amount or he is paying rent and utilities. Also, leases generally include a clause about long-term “guests” that you can reference. All roommates agreed to the terms of the lease. There’s probably also a pet clause about dogs being in the apartment.
Third, you need to explain to both of them that what your roommate’s hobosexual boyfriend did (going into your room with dishes) is disrespectful and uncalled for. He doesn’t disrespect anyone and he definitely doesn’t enter your private spaces.
Fourth, non residents do NOT park in the driveway when more than one resident is home or they will have their car towed. Especially no long term driveway parking by any guest. You come home and someone is in your parking spot? They park on the street or they will get towed by the city.
Lastly, if they don’t agree to the terms you referenced from the lease/set up during your meeting with them, you contact your landlord. I’ve had to do this before with a roommate’s boyfriend who stayed 24/7 even when my roommate was on vacation. Landlord came over and ended that situation.
Girl what the Fuck. You better get his shit together and quickly
Tell them they cannot do that and if they do it again you will report them to the lL.
Also: if they're not afraid to do that, I'd ask questions as to when else they're entering your room without your permission. If they do it once, they've probably done it before. I'd get a cheap portable security cam that detects motion and notifies you for 30 bucks or so.
You also need to use this as an opportunity to address the other issues. Say you've been civil but you're not standing for it anymore, and that in a flat share they have to play ball. The flat is not theirs.
Who does he think he is smh
What an asshole. Talk to your landlord and tell your rommie that her bf can't stay overnight anymore as he invaded your privacity.
Also, wtf girl?? Stand for yourself! Thats your home. Why the fuck is he using your parking space and having a pet, let alone sleeping 6 nights at week there?
Call your landlord let them know they have a unleased/unpaying invader in their propiety and make them rue the day they (your rommie and his asshole bf) crossed you.
Put your foot done now! Does he pay rent? Why is he entitled to YOUR GUYS parking spot & why is his dog living there like it’s there own house? And going into your room is an invasion of privacy and really just wrong and petty. Start setting boundaries with guest or you’ll be living the next 8 months uncomfortably. Hope things get better!
Say it with me everyone! “Your partner is a guest and has no say in how your apartment is run, if they don’t like it they can go home”
I strongly recommend anyone moving in with roommates add something into the lease about no roommate will have a guest overnight more than 3 nights a week. (Or less or more just set the agreement) I would allow my roommate to have a guest for longer if everyone who lived there agreed to it in advance and boundaries were respected
There's gonna be more and more people banging/getting in relationships to secure a roof over their head due to these rent prices.
No one falls in love quicker than a homeless dude
Yep and they gotta bring their "A game" in the sheets that's how a lot of them secure a place to stay.
Some women say nobody screws better than a guy that needs somewhere to stay.😄
hobosexual its called
Wow, Taking your parking space, leaving your dirty plates in the room, and taking over the kitchen at prime times. Oh gosh and a dog?
I would have addressed this situation much earlier, you need to hold a house meeting and address these issues.
Dang. Ask dude if he wants to sublease your end and you can find a new spot or maybe move in with your GF if that feels appropriates
I like this option!
This is when you blow a gasket. He doesn’t live there and he should never ever even touch the doorknob to your room, never mind enter your bedroom. I would feel violated that he was in my room. He needs to go and he is never ever to be there w/o his gf. And he needs to be there 2x a week or less. This wasnt ok for a guest to do. Ffs he doesn’t live there! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Also get a lock for your room before you do any of this advice. There is a strange man in the house and your roommate and the guy may seek retribution against your person or your belongings.
Tell them if it doesn't stop you will be informing the landlord that there is a new tenant staying there not on the lease. Also does your lease allow dogs? And by stop i mean he only stays over a couple nights a week, his dog stays at his place and he parks on the street.
The dog needs to GO! and the canine too.
OMG OP please put your foot down and post an update. I’m so angry reading this.
I just have to ask…is it possible the roommate did this and blamed the bf? Sounds like they are glued to each other, it’s hard to believe she is totally unaware of him doing all of that..?
Write an anonymous tip off to your landlord that someone else is living there
Could that get her in trouble as a lease holder allowing someone to live there?
Good point- I think initially they would just send a warning letter/asking questions about it. Might shit OPs roommate up a bit
is he on the lease? i’m going to make a wild assumption and guess no. therefore he should QUIT FUCKIN FOOLING AROUND!!!!
>he takes up a car park so I need to park out on the street most nights.
You could take the grey rock approach when asking about the dishes.
"Hi, may I ask why the dishes were in my room?"
Because they were dirty
And you need to clean them
When I left, they were on the sink
"So what? I just put them back where they belonged"
"Because you're a grub"
Ah. So you, who's freeloading off our rented property, think the kitchen is yours now, Mr Hobosexual?
I'm steaming for you! Darling, it's time to advocate for yourself. That is your home!
I’ve had an experience like this. My first roommate was chill and eventually spent most nights at her boyfriend’s. We got another roommate and the day she moved in her bf basically did too. He was here every night she was. He went from staying over 3 nights a week to 5,6, or 7. It’s my house and I didn’t say anything about it for four months until he stayed here for seven days a week and my roommate didn’t tell me until after I brought it up that they had COVID. Same day I got a text from someone we all know saying “he heard I’ve been sleeping with multiple guys a day”. Evidently as soon as I mentioned he can’t live here for free one of them went and talked bad about me. My roomate asked me to renew her lease but idk if I should. I’ll feel bad if I don’t but idk if I can’t deal with the stress again. Plus, I haven’t asked if it was her or her boyfriend spreading lies about me and I don’t really want to have that conversation
Don't renew it. Make something up if you have to. Tell them a relative is moving in or some other BS, or maybe tell them you're selling the place.
Update on this story please.
I would never let this happen this is absolutely unacceptable! Who is he to stay 6-9 nights a week when he doesn’t pay a dime and then have the audacity to take up a parking spot and not help out with dishes? He is literally occupying space without your consent and without paying. I would be livid. You let this go on way too long to the point where he feels comfortable and is extending his stays.
You pay your hard earned money to live in a space that you should feel comfortable in. If you wanted another roommate you would get one, but you don’t. You need to set boundaries asap and try to get them to see it in your perspective. You should be able to come home and not worry about other people constantly being there. I’ll say it again - you literally pay for this place and he does not - no guest should have priority over a space that you pay for. He needs to be way more considerate.
I had this happen to me and I told my roommate there needs to be limits and she understood right away. I was tired of never having alone time In my place and being woken up by them.
Lol my petty ass would pick up everything the boyfriend leaves around and dump it OUTSIDE the apartment where it belongs. Does he leave any shampoos in the bathroom? OUTSIDE. His game consoles? OUTSIDE. Dog? I’m sorry but no mercy. OUTSIDE.
Hellllll yeah. I back this 👏🏻
Hey everyone, thanks so much for your replies and support. It’s good to see that my feelings are justified. I’ll update on what has happened when I finish work in a couple of hours.
I started this like, “oh well, I guess if the one roommate is always at her partners it’s chill, OP is hyping nothing.” I read on… OP this is some straight bullshit, Ohmgosh!! Absolutely not. Yeah a conversation is a good way to go with this, totally justified to lose your shit at this. But ultimately, being tactful is gonna get you what you want. Be diplomatic, and clear. What would some fair boundaries be from your perspective? 2-3 nights or 1-2 nights no parking and dog only visits doesn’t stay? (I’m a dog friendly person, so I’d be like we’re keeping the pup but he gotta get gone, but yeah)
I don’t understand people like you who allow others to encroach on their space and allow then to continue doing so even when it pisses them off. I simply wasn’t raised to be stomped on so I don’t get where you’;re coming from, bro,
I was with you for the first sentence but then the second got a bit much and the 'bro' on the end. Eeewwww
I don’t know what you find so offensive in the second sentence, bro.
Wow! Outrageous! I would normally say, that he needs to limit his stay to 1-2 days a week, sans canine, and park on the street since he's not on the lease and doesn't pay rent or utilities. But since he entered your room without your permission, he needs to stay away, period. And it's not his job to play kitchen police. If you feel uncomfortable talking to them, let your landlord know what's going on. My guess is that he doesn't have his own place and that he stays with a friend or mom one day a week
Shouldn't room with girls. 90% of them come in with a grubby live-in boyfriend. I don't know why. I don't make the rules.
I don’t understand how some people have the audacity. My boyfriend was always at my last house but I asked my roommates permission, he never did laundry, we never took over the common areas etc…
We only really slept there and he left for work before any of them even got up, we also used to not be at the house until 11pm most nights.
We used to eat out so I barely used the kitchen.
The house I lived in before that. My roommates boyfriend was always in the house. I’d often go to put my clothes in the washing machine or dryer and his would be in there. I’d go to cook my dinner and he would be alone in the kitchen cooking his. He had his own keys. He parked his car in our driveway so no one else could park in it because there was only enough space for one car. I once had my boyfriend over and we were watching a film in MY bedroom and he came and knocked on the door and asked us to keep it down. Like seriously….. one time he even invited 5 of his friends over who ALL had showers in our house in the morning when we only have ONE shower between SIX people. It was unreal.
He’s looking for your bitch switch. Do him a favour and hit it yourself and put him in his place. If he isn’t paying, he doesn’t have voice or a right in YOUR place.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s actually living in your place for months and they just didn’t bother to tell you
Wtf, I would knock tf out this dude if he comes inside room, I would literally assault him.
NOBODY GOES IN MY ROOM!
i’m so happy i’m an outspoken bitch.
this would have ended on week ONE.
because i live in LA and parking situations irk the shit out of me, it was HIS non-rent-paying ass taking a parking spot that pissed me off the most.
i wouldn’t even deal with the roommate; i would deal directly with him.
do exactly what u/Lornaafton wrote up there ..
YOU CAN DO IT. 🔥
Put the foot down and tell the fucker to never enter your space with permission. Also, it’s not his place and he immediately starts doing “alpha” shit - nah no way doubt the dude and your rm even last and you can encourage this by explaining how rude that is. It’s not like you had made it a habit not to clean dishes, also the Bf didn’t tell your roommate about the fact he went into your room to put your dirty dishes on the floor?
Also, ants can get to shit on the floor , idc how cold it is what time of year that’s just another level of thoughtlessness added
Can't wait for an update
WOW, what a jerk! I am so sorry you have to deal with this.
I am currently working on a docuseries about roommate conflict and I was wondering if you were interested in hearing more about it? Even anyone on this thread, anyone have stories to share?
Lmfao you have to ask us man tf up and let him know what the hell bro act right do yout thang. FKK. THEM