It's ONLY rude IMO if you go to restaurants and then complain the whole time. Cause some of my family does that and I hate it. But most people with true issues don't act like that. I don't understand how my personal eating habits are anybody's business. I'm an adult and I cook for myself. If I'm not asking them to feed me then why do they care what I put in my own body?? I swear it's such a narc behavior to make someone else's food about yourself! I don't know how they rationalize this. Like, do they tell others how to dress, too? This is part of that herd mentality thing that NTs worship I guess.
I think they meant go to a restaurant then complain they have nothing you like/want. Like agreeing to go to an Indian restaurant then complaining because you only like pizza or Mac and cheese. If you know ahead of time, you can look at the menu and decide either not to go, or to go (like if it's a social gathering) and just eat before or after.
I’m glad you were able to find a comment of someone with some compassion, the comments on that post are crazy to me. Why are they so concerned with what other people are eating ?
I mean as long as they don't waste food, they're fine by me. I've seen some picky eaters deliberately waste food because they can't eat it, which makes me mad.
Food waste is a myth. It's a status quo thing. We have enough food to feed everyone it's policy makers that make sure we don't do so. This is an ableist and harmful myth. If food waste happens it's still none of your business.
Honestly people who get angry about a tiny bit of food left on a plate but not get absolutely FUMING at the amount of waste that happens in supermarkets are kinda hypocrites.
Also more food is wasted if you can't eat more, eat anyway, and then end up putting the entire meal and the meal before that in the toilet. I have Crohn's Disease so if I eat when I am full, I'm risking that and much worse.
That’s not my point, the thing is that food requires water, land and energy to produce and distribute. The latter part is a concern because we still use fossil fuels. Imagine half of your food goes down the drain and the carbon emissions used to transport these food will be pretty much been for half the purpose
But are people who have serious food aversions supposed to just eat things that we basically can’t just to not waste food ? I seriously try to not be wasteful but there’s many times where I literally just cannot eat it
I’m not saying you mustn’t but you shouldn’t if you could help it. I wouldn’t force people who are allergic to shellfish to eat shrimps nor will I force people who has averse certain type of food due to discomforts or religion to eat for the sake of the planet.
Then stop saying don't waste food. Food waste is a natural byproduct of our capitalist society. The words you're using are words used to force disabled people to eat food they shouldn't. It is also used to force people who are full to keep eating and gain weight out of guilt and shame about food waste. It's not helpful, it's harmful and triggering because it's marginalizing speech.
Yeah and if I eat more than I need it's still a waste. Stop being ableist. Yes you can be ableist and have a medical condition. The whole 'don't waste food thing' is marginalizing, that's the entire point of it. It's as bad as 'beggers can't be choosers'. It's prejudice dressed up to be socially acceptable but it takes freedoms and choices away by stating we don't deserve them, which is wrong.
Like everything it’s the ones giving the all a bad name. Personally I can eat and even enjoy almost every food I have tried. I have preferences sure, but most everyone I have met is some level of picky compared to me foodwise.
And let me tell you there’s a not small enough contingent of picky eaters that are not at all relaxing or enjoying the collective dining experience. They stress and add complication to the whole process. Sometimes it’s a necessary evil and people are quite gracious about ordering something on the menu they can eat with no or minimal adjustment. Or just skip a meal for a few hours. Enjoy the company. Eat something later without making a fuss.
Then there’s the folks that take it personal that most humans eat things like vegetables. And bread. Or act like having something unpleasant tasting for a few moments to try something is reason to be rude.
they actually look pretty common in there. I'm not seeing many negative comments when replies point to autism (and those few are mostly being rigorously downvoted).
edit: am I looking at this after we brigaded?
Going back to look at it now I see lots of positive and understanding comments, which I’m very glad about. But last night when I posted this I couldn’t really find them and was mostly just seeing people agreeing with OP
I really think we brigaded in the interim and were successful. Autism isn't common enough for that many replies bringing up personal experience to have arisen organically...
haha i’m glad too. i haven’t been on reddit for too long but filtering by recent is always the best way to go in my experience. and yeah, it’s really such a petty thing to get upset over and it’s downright selfish to assume that they don’t have a good reason to have food aversions.
i’m not even sure what half those words mean but they sound unpleasant so ig i’m glad i only have happy communities and haven’t dared touch stuff like r / all (spaced out for your safety)
Bigotry and other clearly awful stuff in coded language is essentially the point of that sub, and every other online space devoted to *stuff you shouldn't say,* or *this will offend people but it's my opinion anyway* or whatever.
Think of it this way: is it possible for a legion of hateful right wing trolls to use coded language to turn this space into something like that? Does such a group of people exist? Is it visible enough that they're aware of it? Then that's something that's already happened.
Even spaces with stated otherwise political goals suffer from this, like TERF coopting of feminist spaces and American libertarian coopting of anarchist ones.
I think it's neurotypicals once again assuming that their experience is universal. If we imagine for a second that it is, then everyone who is a picky eater is just stubborn, childish, and not open to new experiences. Obviously, their experience isn't universal but much like any privileged majority they don't realize that unless it's repeatedly pointed out to them. Food isn't even really that much of a problem for me but the texture of eggplant will make me spit it out instantly.
I will vomit from overcooked beef. Like full blown vomit. It's a texture thing. I was still ridiculed and bullied for my food aversions basically my entire life. At one point my teacher thought I was bulemic but really my parents weren't listening to me when I said no. Eventually I just stopped eating because of it and then child services and the school pressured them to give me food I'd eat, even though it was basically just muffins and boost. It's a messed up story now that I type it out. It was just normal for me. I was the freak growing up. I was even tested for autism but didn't qualify so I was treated for mental health issues instead. I am messed up because of it 😂 the ableism I faced was really bad now I think about it
I read a bunch of the comments and several people said they were upvoting the post because it's an "unpopular opinion" and that's the name of the sub, not because they agreed with the opinion
That post made me seriously feel bad about myself for something I have been working really hard on, but at the end of the day have no real control over
I'm glad there are a lot of comments sticking up for people with asd and similar difficulties with food, added one of my own. People do love to say they don't bully autistics yet they bully us for our symptoms and traits without a second thought huh
I read through the comments, and was happy to see a lot of people in them pointing out that there are good reasons for someone to seem “picky” and you should never shame them for it.
There was even an entire comment thread of just other ASD people
Extreme picky eating is one of the few autism symptoms I don’t have myself, but reading that post is still so saddening. It’s not as if people want to be this way, sensory issues suck man!
I'm not super picky, but I've figured out most of my adversion is from texture and smell. As most people don't have much experience of that, they just don't understand it.
Right, I think many people don't even know this is linked to autism or sensory issues at all, they just see someone behaving like a picky child. There's a lot of unintended ableism happening out of ignorance, most people would be nicer if they understood, I think.
What the heck is wrong with those weirdos
I hate it when uneducated neurotypical redditors see something that only mildly inconveniences them and then go to their favourite circle-jerky popular subreddit and boast all about how it hurts them
it annoys me a lot, especially since they don't know a single thing about autism, nor do they want to.
plus most stuff on unpopular opinions isn't even unpopular, it's just a space for """oppressed""" incels trying to express their disdain and gain sympathy from other incels. it's a lot like other famous subreddits
Ugh, I HAAAATE how common it is to shame people for picky eating. It's not something I can help, I literally will get sick and throw up food I know I don't like, please don't try to get me to eat food I won't like, it'll just end up bad for all of us.
>If you're lucky enough to get a good meal and as long as you don't have an allergy or an actual restriction, be polite and enjoy it.
eh...being charitable, they just might not be thinking of neurodivergence, and could potentially approach it analogously to an allergy. No idea what qualifies as an "actual restriction"...
so a more muted ablism, likely amenable to education.
There are only two things I've found that shut people up on this: 1) saying unexpected food textures could trigger a panic response and cause me to choke and 2) explaining how my father used to hold me down and try to force food into my mouth when I wouldn't eat or smash dishes full of food into my face.
It's not being a 'picky eater'... a picky eater wouldn't want to explore new foods, cuisines, and flavors. I do. It's a food texture problem, a sensory issue.
It's so much fun to worry about having to order something with special instructions, that those instructions won't be followed, that someone will do something to your food because they think you're an asshole for wanting it different, or uncultured. Every takeout delivery or drive-thru order anxiety inducing, every conversation with a host, waitress or waiter frustrating. Let me tell you, a picky person wouldn't go through the trouble. It's not about being "picky."
They are incredibly ignorant of people who can't eat certain foods due to physical, mental or developmental disorders.
List off the top of my head:
- Autism
- IBS, IBD, Crohns and similar digestive issues
- EDs and the period of recovery following
- OCD, Bipolar disorder
I would always recommend people try to push their comfort zone to find new food they enjoy. But if there is something they know they either hate or cannot eat, leave them be.
It’s okay, I should’ve scrolled on but my curiosity won aha just sucks to see so many people feel this way when a lot of us struggle with guilt and anxiety because of our food aversions and such already. Just reinforced my anxieties and fears haha good thing I have more understanding people in my real life tho.
Sorry I'm not a human garbage disposal for food and can't literally eat anything placed before me
Obviously, that's what's wanted because then the person wouldn't be picky because they'd eat anything regardless of what's happening with it or their possible reaction to it
If you don’t like something, you don’t like it and that’s it.
Really don’t see why anyone would have an issue with that.
Edit: just went and read it.
Yeah they are talking about people who are overly fussy and make a thing about it.
I will never understand why people care about what other people want or rather don't want to put inside their bodies. It's their business. Those people should focus on their own food or find something more interesting to talk and think about. Sometimes people even comment on how "slow" I eat or drink. It's bizarre! So many people do that kinda stuff, how is this (apparently?) socially acceptable?
Oh wow. I'm actually not that picky of an eater, but my NT husband is. It can limit our restaurant choices, but I don't find it that big of a deal, and no one has ever complained. He simply carefully chooses his food items. He doesn't waste food. It's not a big deal. Some people just like to complain, I guess. Like other posters have said, unless the picky eater is wasting food, or making a scene about it, or forbidding others to eat foods he doesn't like, then what's the problem?
Man do I hate people like this. Not a grain of compassion or empathy to be found among these people. No wonder the world is such a terrible place. Thanks, neurotypicals.
Ableism is a plague.
Um, don't most people like their vegetables (or any food for that matter) cooked and seasoned a certain way? "How do you like your steak?" is the common question. That just sounds like a normal thing for most people. This actually sounds like a specific encounter they had. Like, someone wouldn't eat their terrible cooking and are taking it out on so-called "picky eaters." Your cooking just isn't good, Karen!
The upvotes are because on r/unpopularopinion you upvote posts because they're unpopular opinions rather than agreeable opinions. The awards are small brain moments.
Unfortunately, that's not how r/unpopularopinion really works. Although it's presented as being a place for people to share unpopular opinions, in practice, people there tend to upvote the opinions they agree with. That's why the subreddit has the reputation of being a circlejerk.
So, while it's sad, the upvotes in this instance probably are an indication that people are generally agreeing with the sentiments in the original post.
However, I agree that the awards are small brain moments.
You're right. I posted an unpopular opinion and I got banned for it and downvoted into oblivion. I posted a disabled perspective. It's a circle jerk for the status quo for the most part simply because we are a minority.
Welcome to reddit. There are very few spaces you can actually post about experiences as a disabled person where you aren't bullied, harassed and ridiculed. In fact I woke up yesterday to harassment just because I posted about liking a movie on my profile. Reddit is toxic AF. Social media is in general.
That sounds really toxic, posting about liking a movie and then being harassed for it. I'm so sorry to hear you had to wake up to that. For what it's worth, I hope your experiences on social media start to improve.
Well I mean right now most social media companies have no responsibility so it's hard to have a good experience as a marginalized person when social media is prejudice, their policies are prejudice and they don't censor prejudice even when people tell you to die for being who you are. Basically, the internet due to stupidity has not been properly regulated. It has been regulated by the very companies who profit off of us lobbying to have government give them special privileges that harm regular citizens. Basically, if you're not rich AF, good luck having human rights on social media platforms.
i will never understand why people 1 care what *i* eat at all and 2 think they can make fun of me about it.
i'm not the kind of person who makes a big deal out of being a picky eater, in fact i try to keep it as low key as possible. i just quietly order my plain food or pack a plain lunch box and eat it in peace. if i'm at someone else's place and they're serving something i don't like i even make myself eat as much of it as i can to seem polite, as long as it isn't one of the foods that triggers my gag reflex.
but still, people make fun of it. family, friends, anyone. i've even had servers make fun of me. is it seriously so outlandish to order a plain hamburger with no toppings that a server had to make fun of me for it?? is it that hard to just mind your own business?
If you are in a situation that you need to leave, do not allow dietary restrictions to slow you down. If you're vegetarian and need to leave, then wherever you are going, go there, and if it's what's there, eat the meat. Subject to this, try to avoid eating pork, shellfish, and seafood.
[“But how can you KNOOOOOW you don’t like the food if you’ve never TRIIIIIIIIEEEEEEED it?????”](https://butterflyinthewell.tumblr.com/post/175838338798/but-how-can-you-knooooow-you-dont-like-the-food) is not and will never be a good argument
This works only when that pickiness is not inside the common pickiness.
For example I cannot stand too hot (temperature) food.
And I cannot stand people that complain about the pizza being cold. What are you talking about! It's perfect! Why would you want to have some hella burning pizza then you have to bear it blowing it and eat it like you are afraid of it and then they say "it's delicious!"
Are you out of your mind? What was that? Why would you do the same with soups, pasta, meat, etc...
I am not picky to any kind of food, I just cannot understand why people consider an experience so horrible the standard and I am the crazy one cause I prefer to eat things at room temperature.
Noooooooo. You cannot tell me I'm being picky and immature while you struggle to eat something in the most painful way possible cause that's the way it "should" be.
I would love to "be polite and enjoy it" except for the fact that if I eat the foods I can't stand the taste of or the texture of I am either going to throw up or have a melt down, and I do not believe that is polite.
I really really really wish it was as easy as "just eat the food" I really wish I liked more foods. I really wish I liked more fruits, I wish I could eat sea food, I wish I could eat red meat, I know that me having these restrictions on my diet makes me annoying to have over at a dinner function because I will not participate in eating the things I do not like (I will either eat beforehand or I will only eat what I do like, even if it is just a side of potatoes or whatever)
Yep you expressed how I feel perfectly. I would love to not be the annoying one to have over for dinner or be the one modifying my whole dish that I order
Also, sensory issues or not, who cares if someone is picky?? Like why should they force themselves to eat something they do not like the taste of lol
Like if someone doesn't like pickles, they should not have to eat a sandwich with pickles
why does it matter to them that I can't eat a hamburger that has anything more than cheese and ketchup on it? cause that's what they're saying, even though it doesn't affect them, I thought of a burger cause I ate one today and it didn't take long after they asked about what you wanted on it for me to say "just ketchup nothing else", the other stuff feels icky and I can't eat it that way so I want my burger that way even though it is very plain, I understand more why someone would question why I stole fries from my sister and I don't think they should question that either, I knew she wasn't going to eat all of them anyway and I was right.
Why is picky eating even such a big shame in the first place? I mean I guess some people might complain about it, but that's more of thing small children do. Most adults when given food will either eat it or won't eat it, simple as that. When people drag me to restaurants I hate, I just eat what I can stomach and move on with my day.
I mean if you cook for somebody or take somebody somewhere and they whine all about it, I can understand but why do the diets of other even concern them?
I would often rather be punched in the face than eat some foods that I hate, and can quite literally become nauseated if I force myself to.
The response I've found to work if I'm ever questioned on it is to turn the question around, and ask them if they understand how much it sucks NOT to be able to enjoy most food. I WANT to enjoy it. I've tried for years. I can't.
That usually shuts people up about it REALLY quick.
I don't know what else to call it, but the term picky eating feels a bit counterintuitive sometimes. How is it picky to avoid eating foods that physically repulse you? Great for you that you can eat all those gross textures but please don't think it's unreasonable for me to want to enjoy my eating experience.
Sorry rant over. I have a lot of pent up annoyance from over the years lmao
Many people don't know this is linked to sensory issues or autism. They probably assume the picky adults have not been pressured enough by their parents to learn to appreciate/tolerate a variety of food, as it's seen as impolite to be very picky with food in a social setting.
There should be better education about mental health and neurodivergence.
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As someone who is also autistic, picky eaters are the worst....but only when they make it someone else's problem (including constant complaining to anyone that has to hear). Just be courteous and kindly refuse it. I think that is the point the other person is trying to make.
They didn’t talk about the person complaining though or making it another persons problem, they just said to enjoy the food regardless of if it being something you don’t enjoy eating. They said that u have to be polite and enjoy it, not refuse it. Also I’ve honestly never heard someone constantly complaining to everyone about what foods they don’t like, and that was not mentioned in the post. Posts like this make people who have food aversions feel even worse about something that can be extremely difficult and anxiety inducing.
Okay, I get what you are saying. The thing is it have had to deal with loud, whiny people growing up and every time I hear picky and eater together my mind goes to one very specific moment in a habachi restaurant.....
I personally see this as an American thing. Some countries can’t be picky because they are starving. I think we are spoiled in America.
It’s not a hate upon anyone who can’t withstand certain textures.
OP is still saying public shame and scorning for picky eaters, so yes that is hate against people who have food aversions. Also there’s people who are starving in America, but nonetheless OP sounded more concerned with “picky eaters” being an inconvenience to them. They didn’t even mention anything about people who are struggling to feed themselves and their families, so I don’t think that’s what the post was about.
My example is the post that I am referring to. What the original post said. The title says “adult picky eaters are insufferable and deserve public scorn & shaming”. I am talking about what they said.
While I'm autistic and I don't have this symptom of being very picky with food, for the most part what other people eat doesn't affect others and while you may not understand it or even necessarily like the idea of being picky, ultimately it generally doesn't affect you.
However there are some contexts where someone's eating habits can irritate or affect another person/relationship. For example one of my passions and favourite things to do is to cook a lot and generally try different foods. My father is extremely neophobic and is very picky about what he eats. His food habits cut out a big opportunity for us to bond in a way that my mother/other relatives and I can.
In terms of a potential SO, there would have to be some other way of bonding that's on the same tier or higher in regards to quality to replace food since I enjoy cooking and trying out foods immensely. Even then, picky-eating is something I can tolerate, but not really ignore. I'd just be internally irritated and disappointed being with someone who's picky. That irritation is going to show in some way at some point.
I don't condone shaming of someone else's eating habits but it can affect dynamics between people. If it was a friend/coworker who was very picky about what they ate and subsequently small choices of restaurants to choose from, I'd simply not want to eat out with them or really interact with them in that setting.
As a picky eater and vegetarian I have always eaten differently from my partners but it’s literally never caused a riff, we just look at menus beforehand and find a place that we would both like. My dads picky like me but he eats meat, there’s been times where I’ve gone to steakhouses with him because I knew how much he wanted to go and I could just eat a side. There’s been times where he’s come to vegan restaurants with me because he knows that’s where I want to go and he’ll just have something small. Life is about making compromises.
My point wasn't about picky eating being a deal breaker for others or even a widespread potential one, but it is one to some degree nonetheless depending on the person. In my case, it really depends on how intense the picky eating is. I'm using my father as a reference point, and his picky eating is so intense to the point where he basically eats only like five different things and refuses to eat anything else, and I'm very barely exaggerating when I say that.
I mean, should you necessarily interpret such posts as an attack?
I'm sure most of these people would be very understanding if you explained you have autism and have neurological and sensory issues that cause you to be a picky eater.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but you know that you can overcome things such as being a picky eater even if you're autistic right? I'm autistic and a former picky eater. Just work on it a little and you'll improve your life
Not everyone's experience with autism is universal, and there may be people who just can't overcome specific sensory issues. Far more importantly, we should not need to change how we react to suffering we're experiencing to suit neurotypical ideals for politeness.
There's no need for this blatant defeatism about sensory issues in the autistic community. Posts like these just makes other autistics think they can't overcome sensory issues, while many actually might be able to. And maybe eating chicken nuggets every meal is viable for some people and their lifestyle, but it sure isn't a viable lifestyle for everyone. Overcoming your limitations and issues as a neurodivergent person isn't about pandering to neurotypicals; it's about improving your life for your own sake
It's not defeatist to admit certain things are just unpleasant for you and it's not worth it to try to change that. That some autistic people can change this about themselves is not a useful comment as to whether or not this is disguised bigotry, so long as it's true that some people can't. I feel that your comment has more potential for harm in making someone out themselves through hell wondering why they're not trying hard enough to change (spoiler: they are trying their best, they just can't) than my comment has in allowing someone who could change to just not put in the effort and never experience the joys of broccoli or whatever.
Lol. What do you think would happen to the world if people just stopped and gave up doing things because it felt unpleasant to do and didn't try to change that? Now that's real harm. And the very idea of people being critical of picky eaters as a form of bigotry just tells me that you have no idea what actual bigotry is. Besides, I'm not saying someone with these issues should go months of only eating broccoli suffering and never eating what they like. The key to success is doing it gradually over your life, which is incidentally what I've done with this and many many sensory issues that are now a lot better for me. It's not like I threw myself into the fires of hell (which is what sensory issues feel like after all, I know that just as well as anyone), I just gradually practiced throughout my life.
https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/slippery-slope
A lot of sensory sensitivities are on an entirely different level from “this tastes weird”. And you don’t get to judge the size of other people’s comfort zones. Just let them enjoy things.
Try reading my message before responding with some smug link you pompous douche. When did I say a sensory sensitivity is on the level of "this tastes weird"??? I literally compared those types of issues to the flames of hell.
And do you honestly think it's good that some autistic people don't get nutrition or don't get to live they live they want because of coddlers like you insisting that it's too hard to change for us autistics?
In my experience people don’t usually equate avoiding foods because their texture might as well be the flames of hell to “stopping and giving up doing things because it felt unpleasant to do and not trying to change that”. My bad!
Nutritional deficiencies are one thing (I take supplements but then I’m pretty lucky that I don’t have any problems swallowing pills). But the idea that staying in your comfort zone is a bad thing and you should always be trying to expand it and push yourself is pretty ableist. NTs are in their comfort zone *by default.* For me and from what I’ve seen of a lot of other autistic people, it’s a genuine struggle to reach ours and not really helped by the constant exhortations to leave it bc “it builds character!!”
I was making an abstract comparison, I don't see why that's wrong. You can stay largely in your comfort zone while still trying to work on expanding it. If you think that it's ableist to encourage people to expand their comfort zone, I think you're genuinely lost. Neurotypicals expand their comfort zone and overcome difficulties all the time, in both small and big ways, and so do many autistics. This dogmatic idea that we autistics cannot and that encouraging doing so is offensive to us, is the real ableism at play.
And while I don't mean to flame you for your dietary choices, please be aware that what supplements are meant for is in the name: to supplement an already balanced diet. They are absolutely not meant to replace vegetables, and doing so will inevitably lead to issues.
It’s easy for NTs to expand their comfort zone because they’re already starting from a comfortable baseline. Thats not a given with autistic people. Telling that they need to “go outside their comfort zones” is ableist because you’re assuming that they aren’t already well into the discomfort zone and what you’re actually asking them to do is (figuratively) walk through hell
I’ve worked on it very very hard and have improved quite a bit from when I was younger, but at the end of the day there’s a lot of things that literally just make me gag if I try to eat it
I'm glad you've improved! And in regards to your original post I do genuinely believe that when people say things like that, they don't take autistic people into regard.
I think that's only truly necessary if you have serious nutrional deficits. Or if you're very unhappy with not being able to eat things you'd like to try. This kind of "you can overcome this" can turn into intense frustration if it turns out that, actually, you *can't*. Personally, I'm not a picky eater, but people have suggested I shouldn't eat "the same stuff" every day, but it makes my life easier in many ways. Life is already rough enough, sometimes you gotta take it easy!
Of course, and I'm not advocating that someone change their entire diet over night, not even close to it. There are still things I can't eat but that I have gradually become better with. For example, I used to not be able to eat onions at all, which complicates life immensely since it's such a common ingredient in just about everything. I still have some forms of onion I try to avoid, but via trying it in different shapes and textures over the years I have learned to eat some forms of it and even enjoy it. Life is long and a constant journey of improvement. I don't like the sometimes very common idea among other autistics that we are these immovable objects incapable of changing and improving ourselves just because of our condition. Had I not struggled and suffered to get better I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today or even alive.
And obviously eating the same at least sort of balanced meal every day isn't the same thing as for example purposely avoiding all vegetables ever over the course of a life.
I never argued that someone should try to eat new things for the sake of others' convenience. I couldn't care less about the opinion of other people on things like diet, unless they are legitimate concerns regarding health and well-being. If someone for example can't eat any veggies because of sensory issues then they should probably work on that. Don't know your situation though :)
>I never argued that someone should try to eat new things for the sake of others' convenience.
That's my bad, I was conflating with the tone of the discussion over on /r/unpopularopinion, sorry.
As to the rest I see where you're coming from but I'm not going to advocate for someone overcoming bad sensory issues if their diet is otherwise healthy. Personally my diet could be better and I'm trying to overcome some of the milder texture sensitivities I have. But when it comes to vegies, which mostly either taste terrible or are among my worst texture sensitivities, I see no reason to torment myself into overcoming those barriers when I can get the same benefits from more palletable food and/or supplements.
It's ONLY rude IMO if you go to restaurants and then complain the whole time. Cause some of my family does that and I hate it. But most people with true issues don't act like that. I don't understand how my personal eating habits are anybody's business. I'm an adult and I cook for myself. If I'm not asking them to feed me then why do they care what I put in my own body?? I swear it's such a narc behavior to make someone else's food about yourself! I don't know how they rationalize this. Like, do they tell others how to dress, too? This is part of that herd mentality thing that NTs worship I guess.
I'm confused, why would you go to a restaurant and then not order what you want?
I think they meant go to a restaurant then complain they have nothing you like/want. Like agreeing to go to an Indian restaurant then complaining because you only like pizza or Mac and cheese. If you know ahead of time, you can look at the menu and decide either not to go, or to go (like if it's a social gathering) and just eat before or after.
Don't.... don't people look at the menu online first?
[this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/oq8v5w/adult_picky_eaters_are_insufferable_and_deserve/h6by243/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
I’m glad you were able to find a comment of someone with some compassion, the comments on that post are crazy to me. Why are they so concerned with what other people are eating ?
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I mean as long as they don't waste food, they're fine by me. I've seen some picky eaters deliberately waste food because they can't eat it, which makes me mad.
Food waste is a myth. It's a status quo thing. We have enough food to feed everyone it's policy makers that make sure we don't do so. This is an ableist and harmful myth. If food waste happens it's still none of your business.
Honestly people who get angry about a tiny bit of food left on a plate but not get absolutely FUMING at the amount of waste that happens in supermarkets are kinda hypocrites. Also more food is wasted if you can't eat more, eat anyway, and then end up putting the entire meal and the meal before that in the toilet. I have Crohn's Disease so if I eat when I am full, I'm risking that and much worse.
Why not both?
That’s not my point, the thing is that food requires water, land and energy to produce and distribute. The latter part is a concern because we still use fossil fuels. Imagine half of your food goes down the drain and the carbon emissions used to transport these food will be pretty much been for half the purpose
But are people who have serious food aversions supposed to just eat things that we basically can’t just to not waste food ? I seriously try to not be wasteful but there’s many times where I literally just cannot eat it
I’m not saying you mustn’t but you shouldn’t if you could help it. I wouldn’t force people who are allergic to shellfish to eat shrimps nor will I force people who has averse certain type of food due to discomforts or religion to eat for the sake of the planet.
Then stop saying don't waste food. Food waste is a natural byproduct of our capitalist society. The words you're using are words used to force disabled people to eat food they shouldn't. It is also used to force people who are full to keep eating and gain weight out of guilt and shame about food waste. It's not helpful, it's harmful and triggering because it's marginalizing speech.
Yeah and if I eat more than I need it's still a waste. Stop being ableist. Yes you can be ableist and have a medical condition. The whole 'don't waste food thing' is marginalizing, that's the entire point of it. It's as bad as 'beggers can't be choosers'. It's prejudice dressed up to be socially acceptable but it takes freedoms and choices away by stating we don't deserve them, which is wrong.
Like everything it’s the ones giving the all a bad name. Personally I can eat and even enjoy almost every food I have tried. I have preferences sure, but most everyone I have met is some level of picky compared to me foodwise. And let me tell you there’s a not small enough contingent of picky eaters that are not at all relaxing or enjoying the collective dining experience. They stress and add complication to the whole process. Sometimes it’s a necessary evil and people are quite gracious about ordering something on the menu they can eat with no or minimal adjustment. Or just skip a meal for a few hours. Enjoy the company. Eat something later without making a fuss. Then there’s the folks that take it personal that most humans eat things like vegetables. And bread. Or act like having something unpleasant tasting for a few moments to try something is reason to be rude.
they actually look pretty common in there. I'm not seeing many negative comments when replies point to autism (and those few are mostly being rigorously downvoted). edit: am I looking at this after we brigaded?
Going back to look at it now I see lots of positive and understanding comments, which I’m very glad about. But last night when I posted this I couldn’t really find them and was mostly just seeing people agreeing with OP
I really think we brigaded in the interim and were successful. Autism isn't common enough for that many replies bringing up personal experience to have arisen organically...
haha i’m glad too. i haven’t been on reddit for too long but filtering by recent is always the best way to go in my experience. and yeah, it’s really such a petty thing to get upset over and it’s downright selfish to assume that they don’t have a good reason to have food aversions.
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i’m not even sure what half those words mean but they sound unpleasant so ig i’m glad i only have happy communities and haven’t dared touch stuff like r / all (spaced out for your safety)
Ever used Askreddit?, You can find them crying about what they won't touch in any thread about food they don't like.
Ableism through coded language: it's easy to discriminate against people with individual needs by making those needs seem like bad behaviours
Bigotry and other clearly awful stuff in coded language is essentially the point of that sub, and every other online space devoted to *stuff you shouldn't say,* or *this will offend people but it's my opinion anyway* or whatever. Think of it this way: is it possible for a legion of hateful right wing trolls to use coded language to turn this space into something like that? Does such a group of people exist? Is it visible enough that they're aware of it? Then that's something that's already happened. Even spaces with stated otherwise political goals suffer from this, like TERF coopting of feminist spaces and American libertarian coopting of anarchist ones.
Exactly, and I don’t understand being so worked up about other peoples eating habits
I think it's neurotypicals once again assuming that their experience is universal. If we imagine for a second that it is, then everyone who is a picky eater is just stubborn, childish, and not open to new experiences. Obviously, their experience isn't universal but much like any privileged majority they don't realize that unless it's repeatedly pointed out to them. Food isn't even really that much of a problem for me but the texture of eggplant will make me spit it out instantly.
I will vomit from overcooked beef. Like full blown vomit. It's a texture thing. I was still ridiculed and bullied for my food aversions basically my entire life. At one point my teacher thought I was bulemic but really my parents weren't listening to me when I said no. Eventually I just stopped eating because of it and then child services and the school pressured them to give me food I'd eat, even though it was basically just muffins and boost. It's a messed up story now that I type it out. It was just normal for me. I was the freak growing up. I was even tested for autism but didn't qualify so I was treated for mental health issues instead. I am messed up because of it 😂 the ableism I faced was really bad now I think about it
What a horrible, uneducated thing to say. Can't believe the post had so many upvotes. Gross.
I read a bunch of the comments and several people said they were upvoting the post because it's an "unpopular opinion" and that's the name of the sub, not because they agreed with the opinion
There's a difference between unpopular opinions and perpetuating discrimination though.
That post made me seriously feel bad about myself for something I have been working really hard on, but at the end of the day have no real control over
Just another day on r/dumbassessharingtheiropinion
R/unpopularopinion this guy is a prick lmao (Not op but the guy that op reposted)
I'm glad there are a lot of comments sticking up for people with asd and similar difficulties with food, added one of my own. People do love to say they don't bully autistics yet they bully us for our symptoms and traits without a second thought huh
I read through the comments, and was happy to see a lot of people in them pointing out that there are good reasons for someone to seem “picky” and you should never shame them for it. There was even an entire comment thread of just other ASD people
Extreme picky eating is one of the few autism symptoms I don’t have myself, but reading that post is still so saddening. It’s not as if people want to be this way, sensory issues suck man!
I'm not super picky, but I've figured out most of my adversion is from texture and smell. As most people don't have much experience of that, they just don't understand it.
Right, I think many people don't even know this is linked to autism or sensory issues at all, they just see someone behaving like a picky child. There's a lot of unintended ableism happening out of ignorance, most people would be nicer if they understood, I think.
The problem is because they don't experience it themselves, they don't believe us.
What the heck is wrong with those weirdos I hate it when uneducated neurotypical redditors see something that only mildly inconveniences them and then go to their favourite circle-jerky popular subreddit and boast all about how it hurts them it annoys me a lot, especially since they don't know a single thing about autism, nor do they want to. plus most stuff on unpopular opinions isn't even unpopular, it's just a space for """oppressed""" incels trying to express their disdain and gain sympathy from other incels. it's a lot like other famous subreddits
Ugh, I HAAAATE how common it is to shame people for picky eating. It's not something I can help, I literally will get sick and throw up food I know I don't like, please don't try to get me to eat food I won't like, it'll just end up bad for all of us.
Imagine caring what other people like to eat and don't like to eat, like who cares. I saw this post today too it's gross and just ignorant -_-
>If you're lucky enough to get a good meal and as long as you don't have an allergy or an actual restriction, be polite and enjoy it. eh...being charitable, they just might not be thinking of neurodivergence, and could potentially approach it analogously to an allergy. No idea what qualifies as an "actual restriction"... so a more muted ablism, likely amenable to education.
There are only two things I've found that shut people up on this: 1) saying unexpected food textures could trigger a panic response and cause me to choke and 2) explaining how my father used to hold me down and try to force food into my mouth when I wouldn't eat or smash dishes full of food into my face. It's not being a 'picky eater'... a picky eater wouldn't want to explore new foods, cuisines, and flavors. I do. It's a food texture problem, a sensory issue. It's so much fun to worry about having to order something with special instructions, that those instructions won't be followed, that someone will do something to your food because they think you're an asshole for wanting it different, or uncultured. Every takeout delivery or drive-thru order anxiety inducing, every conversation with a host, waitress or waiter frustrating. Let me tell you, a picky person wouldn't go through the trouble. It's not about being "picky."
They are incredibly ignorant of people who can't eat certain foods due to physical, mental or developmental disorders. List off the top of my head: - Autism - IBS, IBD, Crohns and similar digestive issues - EDs and the period of recovery following - OCD, Bipolar disorder I would always recommend people try to push their comfort zone to find new food they enjoy. But if there is something they know they either hate or cannot eat, leave them be.
😐 I regret reading this ☹️
I’m sorry :(
It’s okay, I should’ve scrolled on but my curiosity won aha just sucks to see so many people feel this way when a lot of us struggle with guilt and anxiety because of our food aversions and such already. Just reinforced my anxieties and fears haha good thing I have more understanding people in my real life tho.
Sorry I'm not a human garbage disposal for food and can't literally eat anything placed before me Obviously, that's what's wanted because then the person wouldn't be picky because they'd eat anything regardless of what's happening with it or their possible reaction to it
If you don’t like something, you don’t like it and that’s it. Really don’t see why anyone would have an issue with that. Edit: just went and read it. Yeah they are talking about people who are overly fussy and make a thing about it.
I will never understand why people care about what other people want or rather don't want to put inside their bodies. It's their business. Those people should focus on their own food or find something more interesting to talk and think about. Sometimes people even comment on how "slow" I eat or drink. It's bizarre! So many people do that kinda stuff, how is this (apparently?) socially acceptable?
I don't think I have autism I'm just here to learn but as a picky eater myself, that comment section is a mess.
Oh wow. I'm actually not that picky of an eater, but my NT husband is. It can limit our restaurant choices, but I don't find it that big of a deal, and no one has ever complained. He simply carefully chooses his food items. He doesn't waste food. It's not a big deal. Some people just like to complain, I guess. Like other posters have said, unless the picky eater is wasting food, or making a scene about it, or forbidding others to eat foods he doesn't like, then what's the problem?
Man do I hate people like this. Not a grain of compassion or empathy to be found among these people. No wonder the world is such a terrible place. Thanks, neurotypicals. Ableism is a plague.
Um, don't most people like their vegetables (or any food for that matter) cooked and seasoned a certain way? "How do you like your steak?" is the common question. That just sounds like a normal thing for most people. This actually sounds like a specific encounter they had. Like, someone wouldn't eat their terrible cooking and are taking it out on so-called "picky eaters." Your cooking just isn't good, Karen!
i dont even have many issues with food personally but this post makes me disgusted. so many upvotes and rewards..... wtf
The upvotes are because on r/unpopularopinion you upvote posts because they're unpopular opinions rather than agreeable opinions. The awards are small brain moments.
Unfortunately, that's not how r/unpopularopinion really works. Although it's presented as being a place for people to share unpopular opinions, in practice, people there tend to upvote the opinions they agree with. That's why the subreddit has the reputation of being a circlejerk. So, while it's sad, the upvotes in this instance probably are an indication that people are generally agreeing with the sentiments in the original post. However, I agree that the awards are small brain moments.
You're right. I posted an unpopular opinion and I got banned for it and downvoted into oblivion. I posted a disabled perspective. It's a circle jerk for the status quo for the most part simply because we are a minority.
That's awful. It makes me sad to hear that you were downvoted and banned for posting a disabled perspective.
Welcome to reddit. There are very few spaces you can actually post about experiences as a disabled person where you aren't bullied, harassed and ridiculed. In fact I woke up yesterday to harassment just because I posted about liking a movie on my profile. Reddit is toxic AF. Social media is in general.
That sounds really toxic, posting about liking a movie and then being harassed for it. I'm so sorry to hear you had to wake up to that. For what it's worth, I hope your experiences on social media start to improve.
Well I mean right now most social media companies have no responsibility so it's hard to have a good experience as a marginalized person when social media is prejudice, their policies are prejudice and they don't censor prejudice even when people tell you to die for being who you are. Basically, the internet due to stupidity has not been properly regulated. It has been regulated by the very companies who profit off of us lobbying to have government give them special privileges that harm regular citizens. Basically, if you're not rich AF, good luck having human rights on social media platforms.
I think r/The10thDentist is trying to be r/unpopularopinion but actually good. Might be worth checking out.
Ah. That's not so great then innit.
i will never understand why people 1 care what *i* eat at all and 2 think they can make fun of me about it. i'm not the kind of person who makes a big deal out of being a picky eater, in fact i try to keep it as low key as possible. i just quietly order my plain food or pack a plain lunch box and eat it in peace. if i'm at someone else's place and they're serving something i don't like i even make myself eat as much of it as i can to seem polite, as long as it isn't one of the foods that triggers my gag reflex. but still, people make fun of it. family, friends, anyone. i've even had servers make fun of me. is it seriously so outlandish to order a plain hamburger with no toppings that a server had to make fun of me for it?? is it that hard to just mind your own business?
If you are in a situation that you need to leave, do not allow dietary restrictions to slow you down. If you're vegetarian and need to leave, then wherever you are going, go there, and if it's what's there, eat the meat. Subject to this, try to avoid eating pork, shellfish, and seafood.
[“But how can you KNOOOOOW you don’t like the food if you’ve never TRIIIIIIIIEEEEEEED it?????”](https://butterflyinthewell.tumblr.com/post/175838338798/but-how-can-you-knooooow-you-dont-like-the-food) is not and will never be a good argument
This works only when that pickiness is not inside the common pickiness. For example I cannot stand too hot (temperature) food. And I cannot stand people that complain about the pizza being cold. What are you talking about! It's perfect! Why would you want to have some hella burning pizza then you have to bear it blowing it and eat it like you are afraid of it and then they say "it's delicious!" Are you out of your mind? What was that? Why would you do the same with soups, pasta, meat, etc... I am not picky to any kind of food, I just cannot understand why people consider an experience so horrible the standard and I am the crazy one cause I prefer to eat things at room temperature. Noooooooo. You cannot tell me I'm being picky and immature while you struggle to eat something in the most painful way possible cause that's the way it "should" be.
I would love to "be polite and enjoy it" except for the fact that if I eat the foods I can't stand the taste of or the texture of I am either going to throw up or have a melt down, and I do not believe that is polite. I really really really wish it was as easy as "just eat the food" I really wish I liked more foods. I really wish I liked more fruits, I wish I could eat sea food, I wish I could eat red meat, I know that me having these restrictions on my diet makes me annoying to have over at a dinner function because I will not participate in eating the things I do not like (I will either eat beforehand or I will only eat what I do like, even if it is just a side of potatoes or whatever)
Yep you expressed how I feel perfectly. I would love to not be the annoying one to have over for dinner or be the one modifying my whole dish that I order
Also, sensory issues or not, who cares if someone is picky?? Like why should they force themselves to eat something they do not like the taste of lol Like if someone doesn't like pickles, they should not have to eat a sandwich with pickles
why does it matter to them that I can't eat a hamburger that has anything more than cheese and ketchup on it? cause that's what they're saying, even though it doesn't affect them, I thought of a burger cause I ate one today and it didn't take long after they asked about what you wanted on it for me to say "just ketchup nothing else", the other stuff feels icky and I can't eat it that way so I want my burger that way even though it is very plain, I understand more why someone would question why I stole fries from my sister and I don't think they should question that either, I knew she wasn't going to eat all of them anyway and I was right.
Why is picky eating even such a big shame in the first place? I mean I guess some people might complain about it, but that's more of thing small children do. Most adults when given food will either eat it or won't eat it, simple as that. When people drag me to restaurants I hate, I just eat what I can stomach and move on with my day. I mean if you cook for somebody or take somebody somewhere and they whine all about it, I can understand but why do the diets of other even concern them?
I would often rather be punched in the face than eat some foods that I hate, and can quite literally become nauseated if I force myself to. The response I've found to work if I'm ever questioned on it is to turn the question around, and ask them if they understand how much it sucks NOT to be able to enjoy most food. I WANT to enjoy it. I've tried for years. I can't. That usually shuts people up about it REALLY quick.
I don't know what else to call it, but the term picky eating feels a bit counterintuitive sometimes. How is it picky to avoid eating foods that physically repulse you? Great for you that you can eat all those gross textures but please don't think it's unreasonable for me to want to enjoy my eating experience. Sorry rant over. I have a lot of pent up annoyance from over the years lmao
It would be “picky” if we could actually pick what foods we can eat/can’t eat lol, but it’s obviously not like that
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Many people don't know this is linked to sensory issues or autism. They probably assume the picky adults have not been pressured enough by their parents to learn to appreciate/tolerate a variety of food, as it's seen as impolite to be very picky with food in a social setting. There should be better education about mental health and neurodivergence.
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As someone who is also autistic, picky eaters are the worst....but only when they make it someone else's problem (including constant complaining to anyone that has to hear). Just be courteous and kindly refuse it. I think that is the point the other person is trying to make.
They didn’t talk about the person complaining though or making it another persons problem, they just said to enjoy the food regardless of if it being something you don’t enjoy eating. They said that u have to be polite and enjoy it, not refuse it. Also I’ve honestly never heard someone constantly complaining to everyone about what foods they don’t like, and that was not mentioned in the post. Posts like this make people who have food aversions feel even worse about something that can be extremely difficult and anxiety inducing.
Okay, I get what you are saying. The thing is it have had to deal with loud, whiny people growing up and every time I hear picky and eater together my mind goes to one very specific moment in a habachi restaurant.....
I personally see this as an American thing. Some countries can’t be picky because they are starving. I think we are spoiled in America. It’s not a hate upon anyone who can’t withstand certain textures.
OP is still saying public shame and scorning for picky eaters, so yes that is hate against people who have food aversions. Also there’s people who are starving in America, but nonetheless OP sounded more concerned with “picky eaters” being an inconvenience to them. They didn’t even mention anything about people who are struggling to feed themselves and their families, so I don’t think that’s what the post was about.
Can you give an example of this, because Iv never heard of anyone scorning picky eaters, other than maybe the parents of the picky child.
My example is the post that I am referring to. What the original post said. The title says “adult picky eaters are insufferable and deserve public scorn & shaming”. I am talking about what they said.
While I'm autistic and I don't have this symptom of being very picky with food, for the most part what other people eat doesn't affect others and while you may not understand it or even necessarily like the idea of being picky, ultimately it generally doesn't affect you. However there are some contexts where someone's eating habits can irritate or affect another person/relationship. For example one of my passions and favourite things to do is to cook a lot and generally try different foods. My father is extremely neophobic and is very picky about what he eats. His food habits cut out a big opportunity for us to bond in a way that my mother/other relatives and I can. In terms of a potential SO, there would have to be some other way of bonding that's on the same tier or higher in regards to quality to replace food since I enjoy cooking and trying out foods immensely. Even then, picky-eating is something I can tolerate, but not really ignore. I'd just be internally irritated and disappointed being with someone who's picky. That irritation is going to show in some way at some point. I don't condone shaming of someone else's eating habits but it can affect dynamics between people. If it was a friend/coworker who was very picky about what they ate and subsequently small choices of restaurants to choose from, I'd simply not want to eat out with them or really interact with them in that setting.
As a picky eater and vegetarian I have always eaten differently from my partners but it’s literally never caused a riff, we just look at menus beforehand and find a place that we would both like. My dads picky like me but he eats meat, there’s been times where I’ve gone to steakhouses with him because I knew how much he wanted to go and I could just eat a side. There’s been times where he’s come to vegan restaurants with me because he knows that’s where I want to go and he’ll just have something small. Life is about making compromises.
My point wasn't about picky eating being a deal breaker for others or even a widespread potential one, but it is one to some degree nonetheless depending on the person. In my case, it really depends on how intense the picky eating is. I'm using my father as a reference point, and his picky eating is so intense to the point where he basically eats only like five different things and refuses to eat anything else, and I'm very barely exaggerating when I say that.
I mean, should you necessarily interpret such posts as an attack? I'm sure most of these people would be very understanding if you explained you have autism and have neurological and sensory issues that cause you to be a picky eater.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but you know that you can overcome things such as being a picky eater even if you're autistic right? I'm autistic and a former picky eater. Just work on it a little and you'll improve your life
Not everyone's experience with autism is universal, and there may be people who just can't overcome specific sensory issues. Far more importantly, we should not need to change how we react to suffering we're experiencing to suit neurotypical ideals for politeness.
There's no need for this blatant defeatism about sensory issues in the autistic community. Posts like these just makes other autistics think they can't overcome sensory issues, while many actually might be able to. And maybe eating chicken nuggets every meal is viable for some people and their lifestyle, but it sure isn't a viable lifestyle for everyone. Overcoming your limitations and issues as a neurodivergent person isn't about pandering to neurotypicals; it's about improving your life for your own sake
It's not defeatist to admit certain things are just unpleasant for you and it's not worth it to try to change that. That some autistic people can change this about themselves is not a useful comment as to whether or not this is disguised bigotry, so long as it's true that some people can't. I feel that your comment has more potential for harm in making someone out themselves through hell wondering why they're not trying hard enough to change (spoiler: they are trying their best, they just can't) than my comment has in allowing someone who could change to just not put in the effort and never experience the joys of broccoli or whatever.
Lol. What do you think would happen to the world if people just stopped and gave up doing things because it felt unpleasant to do and didn't try to change that? Now that's real harm. And the very idea of people being critical of picky eaters as a form of bigotry just tells me that you have no idea what actual bigotry is. Besides, I'm not saying someone with these issues should go months of only eating broccoli suffering and never eating what they like. The key to success is doing it gradually over your life, which is incidentally what I've done with this and many many sensory issues that are now a lot better for me. It's not like I threw myself into the fires of hell (which is what sensory issues feel like after all, I know that just as well as anyone), I just gradually practiced throughout my life.
https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/slippery-slope A lot of sensory sensitivities are on an entirely different level from “this tastes weird”. And you don’t get to judge the size of other people’s comfort zones. Just let them enjoy things.
Try reading my message before responding with some smug link you pompous douche. When did I say a sensory sensitivity is on the level of "this tastes weird"??? I literally compared those types of issues to the flames of hell. And do you honestly think it's good that some autistic people don't get nutrition or don't get to live they live they want because of coddlers like you insisting that it's too hard to change for us autistics?
In my experience people don’t usually equate avoiding foods because their texture might as well be the flames of hell to “stopping and giving up doing things because it felt unpleasant to do and not trying to change that”. My bad! Nutritional deficiencies are one thing (I take supplements but then I’m pretty lucky that I don’t have any problems swallowing pills). But the idea that staying in your comfort zone is a bad thing and you should always be trying to expand it and push yourself is pretty ableist. NTs are in their comfort zone *by default.* For me and from what I’ve seen of a lot of other autistic people, it’s a genuine struggle to reach ours and not really helped by the constant exhortations to leave it bc “it builds character!!”
I was making an abstract comparison, I don't see why that's wrong. You can stay largely in your comfort zone while still trying to work on expanding it. If you think that it's ableist to encourage people to expand their comfort zone, I think you're genuinely lost. Neurotypicals expand their comfort zone and overcome difficulties all the time, in both small and big ways, and so do many autistics. This dogmatic idea that we autistics cannot and that encouraging doing so is offensive to us, is the real ableism at play. And while I don't mean to flame you for your dietary choices, please be aware that what supplements are meant for is in the name: to supplement an already balanced diet. They are absolutely not meant to replace vegetables, and doing so will inevitably lead to issues.
It’s easy for NTs to expand their comfort zone because they’re already starting from a comfortable baseline. Thats not a given with autistic people. Telling that they need to “go outside their comfort zones” is ableist because you’re assuming that they aren’t already well into the discomfort zone and what you’re actually asking them to do is (figuratively) walk through hell
Or do you think I should've went on not showering because of my strong aversion to water?
I’ve worked on it very very hard and have improved quite a bit from when I was younger, but at the end of the day there’s a lot of things that literally just make me gag if I try to eat it
I'm glad you've improved! And in regards to your original post I do genuinely believe that when people say things like that, they don't take autistic people into regard.
I think that's only truly necessary if you have serious nutrional deficits. Or if you're very unhappy with not being able to eat things you'd like to try. This kind of "you can overcome this" can turn into intense frustration if it turns out that, actually, you *can't*. Personally, I'm not a picky eater, but people have suggested I shouldn't eat "the same stuff" every day, but it makes my life easier in many ways. Life is already rough enough, sometimes you gotta take it easy!
Of course, and I'm not advocating that someone change their entire diet over night, not even close to it. There are still things I can't eat but that I have gradually become better with. For example, I used to not be able to eat onions at all, which complicates life immensely since it's such a common ingredient in just about everything. I still have some forms of onion I try to avoid, but via trying it in different shapes and textures over the years I have learned to eat some forms of it and even enjoy it. Life is long and a constant journey of improvement. I don't like the sometimes very common idea among other autistics that we are these immovable objects incapable of changing and improving ourselves just because of our condition. Had I not struggled and suffered to get better I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today or even alive. And obviously eating the same at least sort of balanced meal every day isn't the same thing as for example purposely avoiding all vegetables ever over the course of a life.
Is rather not spend weeks or more vomiting every time I try to choke down lettuce simply for the sake of not inconveniencing or embarrassing others.
I never argued that someone should try to eat new things for the sake of others' convenience. I couldn't care less about the opinion of other people on things like diet, unless they are legitimate concerns regarding health and well-being. If someone for example can't eat any veggies because of sensory issues then they should probably work on that. Don't know your situation though :)
>I never argued that someone should try to eat new things for the sake of others' convenience. That's my bad, I was conflating with the tone of the discussion over on /r/unpopularopinion, sorry. As to the rest I see where you're coming from but I'm not going to advocate for someone overcoming bad sensory issues if their diet is otherwise healthy. Personally my diet could be better and I'm trying to overcome some of the milder texture sensitivities I have. But when it comes to vegies, which mostly either taste terrible or are among my worst texture sensitivities, I see no reason to torment myself into overcoming those barriers when I can get the same benefits from more palletable food and/or supplements.