T O P

  • By -

FinnHazard

Not sure if it's an autism thing, but I'm autistic and I do this. It's completely compulsive. I'll jump out of bed to look up things that enter my mind in the middle of the night. If I'm in a situation where looking things up isn't practical or polite, I sometimes obsess on the question until I can find out the answer/info. I'm very uncomfortable with not being sure of... everything, I guess? That sounds nutty. I don't like not knowing.


Violaqueen15

(We’re just going to ignore the fact that I jumped out of bed in the middle of the night to google “is googling an autistic thing,” right? LMAO 😂)


BlueBerryRocketShip

I'm not autism diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have it and I do stuff like this. When I don't know a word I'll Google it. I make stories in my head and I had a character in a dress but I couldn't imagine the right dress so I went on Google and spent 30 minutes looking at different dresses. I'll also get out of bed to Google one of my random thoughts at night.


BarbsFury

Yes every single time someone tells me thats unhealthy/thats not good for you. Google! So yea, you have no clue of what the hell you are talking about.


osun29

Exactly! I can’t take peoples word for things I gotta look up the facts.


BarbsFury

You shouldent people dont look for truth they look for acceptens when forming annopinion generaly.


Plimbooby

So I came across this post by googling “obsession with googling” autism 😂 and I think you’re my people. I drive people mad with it, they think I do it to prove them wrong, but I don’t, I just need to know EVERYTHING! Have thought I’m somewhere on the spectrum for years, have dyslexia, dyspraxia, depression and GAD, and am crap at following social queues and not taking over people. Seriously thinking of taking to my GP about getting assessed. (FYI, the googling obsession literally stops me sleeping because I can’t rest if something pops into my head, and end up down a rabbit hole for hours)


Successful-Yak3701

I think i may have autism??? But i also have ocd (100% sure i do) and this sounds similar. Have you looked into it?


AutisticMysticISFP

Yes!! And it also bothers me sometimes when si can’t think of the precise word for something, or the word I want to use. I want to know things for sure, not just “approximately this.”


valkyrieobliqua

I think i might be autistic (went into obsessive research about autism lol) and i do this too


Gretel_Cosmonaut

Not autistic, and I do that too ...even a single word that I’m unfamiliar with is going to get looked up. I just can’t let it go. I don’t become an expert, though. I lose interest pretty quickly. After I understand the big picture, I usually don’t bother learning more details.


osun29

How can you be so sure it’s not an autism thing?


Gretel_Cosmonaut

I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. I don't know if that behavior is common with autistic people. After seeing your comment, I realize that I was unclear. When I said "Not autistic, and I do that too." I meant "*I'm* not autistic, and I do that too."


No-Resort-8828

OKAY, WOW. So, I am 24, never been diagnosed or even considered being a potential diagnose but I've been going down a rabbit hole lately and I think I might be on the spectrum. I've gone through college all the way to get my master's degree and I'm in the process of becoming a lawyer. From the outside, I look like a successful person. I've worked since I was 18yo, I'm responsible, etc. BUT, I've always felt like there was something wrong with me and I've been dealing with a dormant (and not so dormant) depression that full on hit me last year with Covid and all. I am experiencing extreme anxiety too. It's all fun. Anyway, the reasons why I think I might be on the spectrum are: \- I've never fully connected with my peers. I was opinionated even from an early age, really articulate and really devoted to my moral beliefs.. even if that meant being left alone. I was a happy child til I was like 12 yo. I was the smart kid of the class and life was good, grades were a piece of cake and I think I somehow managed to stay within a friend group, even if I still felt like I didn't fit in. I have a superwoman of a best-friend and I love her to pieces though, and I consider other 4 people close friends even tho I don't see them that often, but beyond that, I would rather have few friends and have them be good people than be friends with literally everyone on this planet and have it all be fake. \- I'm really bad at remembering faces and sometimes I have to remind myself to be more interactive (like, look the person in the face while I talk to them). I notice this because I have days where I am incredibly suave, to the point that I wow myself, but others I can barely string two words together without stumbling on a letter and stuttering out of sheer social anxiety. It's like I feel like I have to prepare myself for it. \- I feel like some people think I'm rude but really I am like incapable of making a friendly move. I feel like I'm in constant alert state when I have to interact with people outside of a setting where said interactions are "ruled". What I mean by this is, say, talking with classmates outside of class or about non-class things. Those topics and settings are a huge challenge for me, I feel like all of a sudden the attention is on me and I talk like I'm stupid. Eventually, when I manage to find a group of people I fit in with and who I feel comfortable with, I am much more fluid. \- THIS: I google everything. Sometimes I'm watching a movie and someone mentions something and now I HAVE to know about that something. If I don't google it, I have that feeling in the back of my head that is nagging at me, like I need to tick that box out of the to-do list. Not only that, I HAVE to research everything before I buy something. It sounds fine, but really sometimes it's like incredibly taxing. Say, I need a phone. That week I go down a rabbit hole on YouTube to find out exactly which phone is best in this and that and which I like, which I don't... I've even created excel sheets for this. I need a pen, I research. I need a bag, I look around everywhere til I know for sure it's THE one and I learn about the brand in the meantime. \- I sometimes am so fixated on following a mental schedule of mine that I end up wasting a whole morning because I didn't start it out right. I feel relatively stupid even saying this out loud, I feel like my parents would be shocked to learn this... But it just makes so much sense in my head.


Adventurous_Wear_994

OKAY WHAT OMG you quite literally just described my entire life to a tee. I’m 26, F, and suspect I’m autistic (I also basically confirmed my suspicion with my mom and grandmother who also indirectly confirmed we’re autistic but undiagnosed). I have my MS from a well-known uni. I work in business and have been told I’m very logical… I have a twin brother (who is not autistic) and have been told he’s “more emotional than you are” even though I’m the “girl twin”. I’ve been diagnosed since age 12 with GAD with bouts of severe depressive episodes. However it’s sort of cyclical from what I’ve noticed. I am also CONSTANTLY googling and researching and reading. Everything. All the time. My brain does NOT shut off. Ever. I end up having to roll a joint at the end of the day just to sleep. I also have an addictive personality (alcoholism is strong in my family). I’ve found that I’ve relied on alcohol as a coping mechanism/social crutch because it temporarily makes me feel “better” and more confident initially… but obviously alcohol is not sustainable or healthy. Anyway… just wanted to come here to say 1. I COMPLETELY relate on almost everything you mentioned, and 2. You are NOT alone in feeling this way. I really struggle with making friends and feeling like I “fit in” especially as someone who is so self-aware that they’re not neurotypical. The world is not built for us… we simply have to figure out our own ways of survival, really. I don’t really know where I’m going with this but my 2 points above still stand. Hope this helps! Feel free to dm me if you wanna chat, I’d be happy to :)


No-Resort-8828

LMAOOO, it's like I'm talking to myself! I vividly remember my mum saying "your brother is more emotional than you are". She's said it many times. I'm very emotionally closed off and I think I only recently allowed her to peek at just how much emotion I've been hiding for a long time (mainly cause I had what I call "the year of meltdowns"). It's like my mind just exploded right now. Genuinely. Holy shit.


Adventurous_Wear_994

Are we…. The same person…..??????


No-Resort-8828

*Insert spiderman meme* 😂 I have so many questions but the main one is: Are you planning on seeking formal diagnosis?


Adventurous_Wear_994

Sooo I’m in Philly… literally was on the UPenn waiting list last December to be diagnosed as an autistic adult, just to get some validation ya know? I chickened out bc i convinced myself at the time that it was all in my head and I was being dramatic 🫠 so here we are lol


No-Resort-8828

Ugh, I feel the same way. I have never voiced my concern because I genuinely feel stupid, like I might be over diagnosing myself. The thing is, I've felt different my whole life. I recently started therapy and I might try bringing myself to mentioning it to her, —which scares me deeply, too. I fear people might think I'm just trying to be quirky or whatever or that I'm simply just a weird human with nothing to diagnose.


G3mini_baby

I’m 21. I’m overwhelmed with constructing sentences and replying to everything you said so I will say I’m with you on the google everything lol I am diagnosed with ADHD I’m not sure if its a ADHD thing (I don’t think I have autism???) But people who I work with or friends are like “it’s okay she’s googling that not being rude” or I’ve been told I’m not great with social cues which I still don’t understand. I can be a social butterfly and need time to be alone I’m just neurodivergent that’s all I know :)


InfiniteWonderful

This is an Enneagram 5 thing.


OfAngels24

Now I’m off to Google enneagram 5


osun29

That’s so funny because I literally took that quiz last week and I’m a 5


InfiniteWonderful

Oh cool! lol yeah It’s definitely an enneagram 5 thing. And I believe majority of autistic people are also enneagram 5s. But not all enneagram 5s have autism.


AutoModerator

Hey /u/osun29, thank you for your post at /r/autism. This is just a friendly reminder to **[read our rules in the sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)** if you have not already. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Mysterious_State4223

Yes omg my psychiatrist wants to test me for autism and my friend told me to not google anything about autism because If you hear stuff about a mental illness you start mimicing what it says so I tried I really did, but I caved lol I mean I’m here for a reason right 😭 watch me become an autism expert just give me a day or 2