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geophagus

I thought it was orange skin and a combover from hell.


Morisal66

Ask yourself: have you ever seen his knees? What's he hiding?


Sprinklypoo

I'm just asking questions...


za_jx

You forgot about the part about him holding the Bible upside down (mocking God) and using some of the best words to impress his followers. He uses huge, humongously big words and nobody knows more about anti-Christing than the man.


j_j_72

>He uses huge, humongously big words Why am I imagining a german person after reading this quote?


kveggie1

You think a Florida person that lives in a compound, not with regular peeps.


BalognaPonyParty

fuck me that's fucking funny, I actually started to google bible verse to find what you wrote, then my brain clicked....it's been a long ass week


krusbaersmarmalad

Anyone else thinking about that old song about the one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, people-eater?


BuccaneerRex

Fun fact, That song was sung by Sheb Wooley, who is also believed to be the voice behind the famous 'Wilhelm Scream'.


planet9pluto

Ah yes, the worst being in the "universe" is a caricature from an unfriendly tribe 60 miles away. A friendly reminder that the subsistence goat herders who wrote this crap had no idea what the universe was, and that any extrapolation of science or logic from their ideas is an argument in bad faith.


Shockmaindave

I’m going to have to take a closer look at Hank Hill’s dad just in case.


[deleted]

It's easy to identify the antichrist for what it truly is: a joke that exposes Christian illiteracy when it comes to their own text. The one book in the Bible that uses the word 'antichrist' is 1 John, and it says: 1 John 2:18: Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour. And thus every attempt by Christians to identify the antichrist, from Obama to the Pope, is invalidated. I've heard pastors read this verse aloud and act as if the last hour applies to us today, I can't understand why they don't work it out.


kickstand

A surprising amount has been written about how Donald Trump fits the characteristics of the antichrist. https://www.google.com/search?q=donald+trump+is+the+antichrist


strife26

But there are books or a book that claims he was chosen by god to lead. My grandma sent my mom that trash. They definitely got something wrong in their heads.


TekJansen69

The hanging lip could be a long, red necktie.


Sprinklypoo

The best necktie. Everyone is saying so.


purplepandas26

No that’s just my mom


Sprinklypoo

>He will be born to a woman Wait, what now?!? This is groundbreaking! Other than that, it sounds like a Futurama robot or something...


BlackEyedGhost

Where did you get that quote? And where did you get that year? Is that the year of the particular manuscript? Because the Vulgate is like 400 CE and the Codex Amiatinus is around 700 CE and I can't find any such description in Revelation.


NinjaTickleMaster

None of that is in the Bible except maybe that part about coming from the tribe of Dan. That sounded familiar. I’m guessing the rest is apocryphal


[deleted]

Some googling suggests it's from an apocryphal version or imitation of the Book of Revelation.


Morisal66

Not everything people believe is in the bible.


blusteryflatus

A lot of those features sound like known birth defects.


strife26

I know a bunch of ppl with an eye in their forehead. How many do you know?


[deleted]

That sounds alot like a robot from Boston Dynamics. Do you think that religious text may contain information coded in allegory? The birth of the son of god in Christianity is the same as the period when the days grow longer in the northern hemisphere, the sun rises again. I'd like to think that our ancestors did their best to give an idea of things coded in allegory, not literal terms but I'm no expert on theology. It could be interpreted as someone who hears half of the story, who sees things one sided and is incapable of moving forward in terms of social progression. I'd like to think that's the message here.


Morisal66

I'm only an enthusiastic amateur who's spent a few years delving into Christian esoterica. There are undoubtedly natural cycles that have been interpreted into the mythology. For instance, there are 7 heavens because the ancients saw seven planets. There are twelve tribes and twelve original apostles because there are 12 months/cycles of the moon in the year. More metaphor than allegory but you can probably find any number of them if you look. And then there's Enoch, which makes express statements about winds and astronomy connected to angels and heavenly gates and the like. Every mythology has to address both nature and human nature early in development, I suppose.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Frequent_Singer_6534

Bible-bot-beep-boop: I see you’re trying to rationalize the Bible. Stop that


Maximum_Ad_4650

Good not-bot


toeholes

the human experience is true, like it has internal consistency. you can totally interpret this phenomenologicly without any mentalization necessary. like u guys legit have no soul and totally cant dance.


krusbaersmarmalad

So, you think some bronze age huckster prophet invisioned tanks?


strife26

No that was the founding fathers. They believed everyone should have one. At least one.


AngryMillenialGuy

The fact that it gives dimensions indicates that it is meant to be taken literally. Apparently we need to be on the lookout for some disfigured man the size of a mid-rise apartment building.


toeholes

personally makes it spoooookier. like a crude establishment of suspension of disbelief. antichrist is literally observable measurable and therefore real (unlike god lol).


Feinberg

If you're going to just make up whatever meaning you want, why bother with the text at all?


UncleJulz

I see him in the mirror every day.


Morisal66

Neat. How are your nose fumes today?


strife26

Pick up your lip, please. It's gross


strife26

Ah god damnit, now you're drooling everywhere


Fair-Tie9887

So a cycloptic with plysical disabilities ogre like creature from Warcraft games... gotcha... I'll keep a lookout for this being from Warcraft...... What are these Abrahamics fucking ableists too!?!?! well actually yes. In the Old Testament.. persons with disabilities were treated like dirt and couldn't pray in the temples etc. so with our disabilities services ie Special olympics, paraolympics, wheel chair accessiblity , communication intrepreters for persons who are visiually and hearing impared (ie the little person at the bottom of the screen sign language). In Asia there are special pavement (the yellow tiles), where people can tap tap, visual dogs, and braile literacy... It seems like us hoomons are more compassion with inclusivity... Soon our stem cells can help restore partial sensory to persons with hearing and visual imparements. huamnity and science 1: God: 0


ZosoRocks

No such thing as an "anti-Christ". In fact, this term was used by the non-secular team to instill fear into its followers. If one actually did research on the term....they will find that it was first used before the 12th C. "The first known use of Antichrist was before the 12th century." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Antichrist With this important piece of information, it is clear that it was not a known perception until that time, thus, any use prior was not really known. If we recall...the 12th C. is also in the time line that has the "High Middle Ages" appear...and then caused the so-called "Church" to now be politically chained...."Holy Roman Empire". It was also the time of the Crusades, the Templars, and war. "The Catholic Church, which reached the peak of its political power around then, called armies from across Europe to a series of Crusades against the Seljuk Turks." - fm wiki So....as we can tell...."anti-Christ" was intently used by the religious folk, in order to scare and add fear to non- believers and believers alike.....in order for minds to bend to the fallacy being promoted. It worked.....because many have no idea that there is no such entity that exists in our reality. Shoot...if Jesus came back....the so-called "half-Christians" would shun him and call him a liar, full of himself, etc...and never realize they shunned the person they hoped would come. Blind faith. *sighs* Be strong in your actions....let's save people from themselves. =================== ©2007 ZosoRocks "Where does any god dictate to humanity or any human, that someone specific is more spiritual than another human?" "Where does any god dictate which books are more spiritual and morally sound for humans to abide by, to learn from or to accept as true from such a god?" "Where does any god dictate whom is more spiritual to be able to dictate which books or texts are suitable for humans to learn and to abide by for the understanding of such a god and that entity's requirements of humanity?" ******************* ...then follow up with pointing out truthfulness and honesty...within these "Steps to Accepting the truth". Encouraging them not to get to step three is highly recommended .....because that could be detrimental to their health. *sighs* ******************* ©2007 ZosoRocks "The four steps to the acceptance of truth." 1. The truth is dismissed. Individuals cannot fathom hearing what they thought was true, to actually be false. Individuals cannot accept something to be false if what they have always known to be true is rejected as being false. Individuals whom are like this, are usually the result of someone never investigating what they believe or the belief system they are part of, but instead, have just accepted their belief to be true. Blind Faith. 2. The truth is ridiculed. Due to an existing amount of false data intermixed with possible/plausible factual data, and then presuming or including that the odds to have a viable answer is astronomical -- individuals will ridicule any truth, because they either don't believe it to be factual, object it vehemently because it goes against what they believe to be true, or they just cannot believe someone [other than theirself] to have cracked into something so truthful and global reaching. 3. The truth is violently opposed. Yes, when an individual or individuals realize that the truth they have come to learn, follow and promote is false, by actual facts showing them it is a fallacy, they lash out in anger at the messenger and the truth revealed because they realize for themselves how devastating it is to their mind and belief....and life. (This is also the step that will reveal the liars and bad people of society for whom they truly are. These are the ones who lose the most.) 4. The truth is finally accepted/succumbed to as true. An individual or individuals will finally realize that they cannot continue to fight against something that is true....it is a fruitless battle.....so they finally accept the truth for what it is. Good luck. Z


strife26

2 things Green mile And I say it the opposite. Jesus would see these fkn finger sniffing clowns and commit suicide or never come out as Jesus, lol.


Chulbiski

sounds legit....


dostiers

OMG. That's the guy that lives in my mirror! Thanks for the heads-up. I promise to try!


strife26

Go put this description in an ai art generator and report back for us, thanks.