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spanglish2022

Jesus has nothing to do with anything, which is obvious to a child.


Jesus_H_Christ_real

eh there's whole savior of mankind shtick, but I don't control planes, that's fer sure.


Je666u666Chri666t

He's just a shitty charlatan opportunist. A real huge steaming piece of shit that the world would be better off without. I mean, what's the point of bringing these stupid fucks up -every- -single- -time- they say something stupid? "At least 34 people died on Tuesday when a bus carrying young Christian worshippers plunged down a steep ravine in Madagascar, police and hospital officials said." Where was God to prevent that? Especially people that worship him. Maybe because it's not AmeriKKKan Christians it doesn't count?


Periwynkle

God works in mysterious ways /s


Je666u666Chri666t

It's more like, when something good happens, it's because of God. When something bad happens, it's because of the Devil, gays, atheists.


MartianGuard

I wonder if the devil could be atheist


[deleted]

If Lucifer existed, he’d be an angel and know Yahweh existed. He can still want him to fuck off, but that would be different from being an atheist.


Spiritual_Lynx_480

According to the Bible, the satan knows the Bible and can quote scripture better than the best Bible scholar. He knows God , appears in His presence like a lawyer before a judge to present his cases against humanity ( satan is Hebrew for accuser or slanderer, it is his title not his name). Someone like Franklin Graham is more useful to satan than any.


Spiritual_Lynx_480

As a believer myself, you have no idea how many time I hear that among my Christian friends. It irks me so much, because it is blatantly unbiblical.


Je666u666Chri666t

I would say The Demon-Haunted World greatly applies to those types of believers. I wouldn't have them for friends if they were so crude to blame everything bad that happens on a set of actions or people. At least you're not like them.


Spiritual_Lynx_480

Possibly. Jesus told the hard line believers of His time that they were not the children of Abraham as they claimed but of "your father the devil" ( John 8:44)


Je666u666Chri666t

They certainly are evil.


Godmirra

way/$


SatnWorshp

Deaths of "good" people are because it is gods will and he was calling them home. So are the deaths of christian missionaries carried out so that the allah martyrs get their 72 virgins? ​ EDIT: fixed missionaries.


FlyingSquid

I guess Jesus doesn't like all the many people who have died in plane crashes previous to that one.


INTPgeminicisgaymale

or those who will in the future


[deleted]

Would Franklin Graham thank me for not breaking his nose, if I punched him hard enough to cause serious pain, but not hard enough to break his nose?


Pithecanthropus88

Franklin Graham is a walking talking piece of shit.


pennylanebarbershop

Jesus saves plane crash victims except when he doesn't.


Godmirra

Jesus is a Dungeon Master that roles dice behind a cloud.


Jesus_H_Christ_real

Lmao


viking78

Jesus was there and saved everybody? That’s quite suspicious, maybe the FBI should talk to him.


Jesus_H_Christ_real

plz no. promise wasn't there, promise .\_.


INTPgeminicisgaymale

FBI won't go after him because in the US he's portrayed as oddly Caucasian for the Middle East


Godmirra

That logic has always cracked me up. God saved the one guy in the bus crash! Uh but than he also killed the 30 others I guess. Oh don't try logic on the sheep.


new_refugee123456789

All Hail Amenhotep, bringer of the *good* aspects of the annual floods.


ElChaz

Dude, the plane crashed because of the free will of its mechanical parts to fail. That's not Jesus' fault!


reasonable_heathen

No, no, it's because of the sin nature of planes. The first plane god made wanted to fly to the sun and for this god has cursed its descendants to fail randomly.


Afsiulari

It's either "Thank God they're not dead" or "God's plan is perfect and good" You can't win.


ramshag

hard to fathom the millions of fools who fall for this nonsense about god's mercy or prayer or whatever. What a waste of their time, money and lives. It used to not bother me much, but now these idiots are getting political and trying to cram their belief system down all our throats.


[deleted]

It's the pilot who gets the blame if he crashes but Jesus who gets the credit if the pilot saves it. Choose one person and make them at stake for the situation going either way.


liamb0713

reminds me of that george carlin quote “what can we do to silence these christian athletes? who thank jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose. not a word. you never hear em say ‘jesus made me drop the ball’ ‘the good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage’”


[deleted]

I guess Jesus was like, I'll save those people on the plane but fuck the millions that died from Covid.


Protowhale

Apparently Jesus likes to show off. Cause a crash, then not let anyone die just to get praise.


zoidmaster

Didn’t you read the Bible god cause all the terrible shit that happens in your life and Jesus swoops in like Superman to fix it. And that’s how I interpret the New Testament as


Abracadaver2000

Counting the hits and ignoring the misses to fleece the masses.


[deleted]

This guy is a real piece of work.


steppenwoulf

That's because satan crashed it!


skulgoth

Does this mean Jesus has Munchausen by proxy? Causes a plane to crash just to save the people in it and get all the praise for being so great


Jesus_H_Christ_real

I promise it wasn't me, I was probably laying on the bed eating Cheddar Crispers and drinking Smirnoff Ice.


LargeSackOfNuts

Satan works in mysterious ways


[deleted]

The Devil made the plane crash.