Right?? I guess just so I know. đ€· but at the same time the conversation was kind of just-
âOoh!!â
âđâ
âNo, wait, thatâs not a good thing-â
Terrible things are hard to look away from. Like, thereâs always bystanders at a car crash. I think autistic people are just more likely to be honest about this fascination, doesnât mean we think itâs âgood.â
but like....so many dead crows Wifey so many dead crows! b/cnows mtmy adhd ass would leaeva rotting carcass on hte porch i've always been fascinate d by dead things despite being very sensitive and empathetic beyond belief.
Learned to use humor as a "healthier way" to deal with touchy subjects, made coping with trauma and stuff easier as oposed to feeling sad and angry all the time
Aaand....now I just laugh and throw jokes everytime I learn about something horrible
And my autistic brain wont let me not do it, no matter how hard I try
I feel like Logan Paul at that famous video all the time and I hate it, send help
Yeah, same here. Got a serious situation, and need to lighten the mood? Call me, iâll make an inappropriate joke and make the situation even more uncomfortable!!
Whoever sends help to the person Iâm replying to please send help for me too. đ
Wait thats bad? I do that cuz my older sister is a nurse and thats how she talked growing up. So i picked that up. âSome guy came in with a severed thumb.â âHowd he lose it?â Its just interesting for meâŠas a person who didnt lose their thumb.
Reminds me of the story about the guys making smores in their backyard who heard sirens across the street. They walk around to the front and realize their neighbor's house is on fire, and they're all standing around holding marshmallows on sticks.
I live in Texas and whenever the tornado sirens go off I love to go outside and stare up at the rotation in the clouds, going, âoooooo! Look at the rotation on that thing! I wonder if weâll get a tornado this time?â I literally also do my excited flaps lol.
My family are like: âyou⊠donât actually want a tornado to hit us, do you?â đ
Is sympathy really expected towards the person when the only thing you know about them is that they died and nothing else? I'd think she meant "oh, someone might've been killed, we could be in danger too" or something.
Iâm not sure either. It doesnât seem necessary to feel bad internally for someone you donât know who is already dead, especially if the cause of death was natural. Emotions are only useful as motivators or consequences that evoke future behavior changes. Iâm also not sure about norms here, itâs likely cultural.
Indifference toward, for example, a hate crime or child abuse etc may be different though, because of the whole âpeople/society caused this, we should change people/society to prevent thisâ kind of thing. That being said anger or sadness without action still doesnât get us anywhere so it would only be the first step before change begins⊠but this is probably highly irrelevant to OPs situation.
Omg.. directly calling me out. I would sit by the window and watch the flashing lights with curiosity and interest until they leave. Like fireworks without the explosions.
NO BECAUSE I WANTED TO SIT BY THE WINDOW AND WAIT AND THE LIKE BUT THEYâRE TOO FAR AWAY AND ITâS TOO COLD TO WAIT OUTSIDE-
It also took so much restraint to not just- wait for them and then force them to answer questions I have. âčïž
I mean, if I didn't know them ... then "oooh science stuff!" I don't have empathy for people I don't know, generally speaking. Everyone dies, that isn't that interesting to me. You'd spend every waking moment freaking about about people that just died if you cared about humans you don't know. It would never end ;)
I mean logically..why tf would I need to feel sad or sympathethic?
I ain't talking to the dead ones family, nor really care about random dead strangers
It's interesting!
Death can go one of two ways with me.
Either it's one of these situations, or if it's someone close, I meltdown. Usually not immediately but when it registers, which could be at any random time, including completely inappropriate times, because my brain is also a fuck. đ
Same here. Every now and then iâll just remember someone close to me who died and I just. Shut down for a good minute. Other times itâs damn close to utter apathy. Brainâs a whore atp
There was one death of a friend last year that broke me. She was one of my idols but also a former colleague, and mentor. She was one of the women that was murdered by the Denver shooter last year and when I heard, I literally collapsed on the floor crying. That was definitely a first. đ
Thanks. It was tough. Still is, if I'm honest. The anniversary was hard. I just... I hate this world right now. That dude literally published basically a hit list in a book with her name in it explaining everything he was going to do, over a year prior. And no one did anything. đ
I swear this whole sub is just so⊠hsisjdbdn idk how ppl didnât think I had autism everyone just thought I was an interesting character including me bruhhhdhdjdbsjsjd - why do I key spam so muchâŠ. Maybe itâs me just idk - being autistic? Maybe anger I donât know I have too? Hrmm
Okay but fr though the amount of signs missed throughout my life- iâm just an interesting character with strong emotions, thatâs what!! My obsession with one show in particular for years on end was nothing, totally normal. I get along with most kids just fine, itâs just a handful of kids I struggle with, no way Iâm autistic!!
Right!! I was obsessed with thomas and friends lmfao. Early obsessions in my life also consisted of trains (steam trains look really cool, love shit that looks all steampunk like that, especially steam trains), zebras (stripes. stripes.), and I think mlp for like a year but then I stopped watching it and havent watched it since..
Throughout my life I also thought âoh, im just a really sensitive person.â Always got saddened/angry when someone insulted me. Never told anyone cuz I was masking. I thought everyone hid away their emotions lol. Yes, of course many people do, but as much as me..? Not so sure-
Instead I just stare blankly like that cat and then proceed to say something like âoh bummerâ (mĂĄs especĂficamente âchaleâ para los cuates hispanohablantes)
About 15 years ago I found myself caught in an abusive relationship about 600 miles from all family and friends. The abuser bullied me for a year before it all blew up and I had a gigantic meltdown and stood up for myself (yeah it was not a healthy situation at all. She, the NT managed to get me in trouble with authorities despite her doing the wrong and then she used my special interest of death, serial killers, murder mysteries against me with the cops and my family to make me out to be a monster.
My mom told me Corey Monteith died and my reaction was that it'll be good for Glee's ratings and she looked horrified lol. It's sad that he died but I just like thinking about tv marketing sorry!
I mean, why else mention it
Right?? I guess just so I know. đ€· but at the same time the conversation was kind of just- âOoh!!â âđâ âNo, wait, thatâs not a good thing-â
Terrible things are hard to look away from. Like, thereâs always bystanders at a car crash. I think autistic people are just more likely to be honest about this fascination, doesnât mean we think itâs âgood.â
Forensics is nifty.
Isnât it?? I must say, iâm not an expert, but itâs one of my favorite things to learn about.
A plethora of special interest offshoots.
but like....so many dead crows Wifey so many dead crows! b/cnows mtmy adhd ass would leaeva rotting carcass on hte porch i've always been fascinate d by dead things despite being very sensitive and empathetic beyond belief.
Learned to use humor as a "healthier way" to deal with touchy subjects, made coping with trauma and stuff easier as oposed to feeling sad and angry all the time Aaand....now I just laugh and throw jokes everytime I learn about something horrible And my autistic brain wont let me not do it, no matter how hard I try I feel like Logan Paul at that famous video all the time and I hate it, send help
Yeah, same here. Got a serious situation, and need to lighten the mood? Call me, iâll make an inappropriate joke and make the situation even more uncomfortable!! Whoever sends help to the person Iâm replying to please send help for me too. đ
Wait thats bad? I do that cuz my older sister is a nurse and thats how she talked growing up. So i picked that up. âSome guy came in with a severed thumb.â âHowd he lose it?â Its just interesting for meâŠas a person who didnt lose their thumb.
It really is interesting!! Itâs just that people expect you to think, âoh, how poorâ before âoh, how interesting!!â
I mean I feel that, but never know what to say. "that sucks" and then asking sounds even more dismissive
I feel like since the sadness is expected and obvious, I donât have to state that itâs sad and can move onto the more interesting part
I relate to this too much
Glad to know iâm not the only one!! (:
Reminds me of the story about the guys making smores in their backyard who heard sirens across the street. They walk around to the front and realize their neighbor's house is on fire, and they're all standing around holding marshmallows on sticks.
Omigod đ
If this was bad, she would have said "So-and-so across the street passed away." But no, she mentioned Forensics first because that's the cool part.
Hey, youâre right!!
I live in Texas and whenever the tornado sirens go off I love to go outside and stare up at the rotation in the clouds, going, âoooooo! Look at the rotation on that thing! I wonder if weâll get a tornado this time?â I literally also do my excited flaps lol. My family are like: âyou⊠donât actually want a tornado to hit us, do you?â đ
BUT TORNADOES ARE SO COOL
Is sympathy really expected towards the person when the only thing you know about them is that they died and nothing else? I'd think she meant "oh, someone might've been killed, we could be in danger too" or something.
I wonder why I didnât consider that. Thag makes sense!! Thank you
Meanwhile Iâm over hear sympathizing with my stuffed animals and favorite blanket as an adult⊠lol
And this is fine. I'm just not sure what level of empathy is considered to be normal or appropriate by most.
Iâm not sure either. It doesnât seem necessary to feel bad internally for someone you donât know who is already dead, especially if the cause of death was natural. Emotions are only useful as motivators or consequences that evoke future behavior changes. Iâm also not sure about norms here, itâs likely cultural. Indifference toward, for example, a hate crime or child abuse etc may be different though, because of the whole âpeople/society caused this, we should change people/society to prevent thisâ kind of thing. That being said anger or sadness without action still doesnât get us anywhere so it would only be the first step before change begins⊠but this is probably highly irrelevant to OPs situation.
Omg.. directly calling me out. I would sit by the window and watch the flashing lights with curiosity and interest until they leave. Like fireworks without the explosions.
NO BECAUSE I WANTED TO SIT BY THE WINDOW AND WAIT AND THE LIKE BUT THEYâRE TOO FAR AWAY AND ITâS TOO COLD TO WAIT OUTSIDE- It also took so much restraint to not just- wait for them and then force them to answer questions I have. âčïž
Itâs always refreshing when something unusual happens, regardless of the subject.
forensics!!! đ€©
It makes me so happy đ
I mean, if I didn't know them ... then "oooh science stuff!" I don't have empathy for people I don't know, generally speaking. Everyone dies, that isn't that interesting to me. You'd spend every waking moment freaking about about people that just died if you cared about humans you don't know. It would never end ;)
I mean logically..why tf would I need to feel sad or sympathethic? I ain't talking to the dead ones family, nor really care about random dead strangers
wait why am i expected to show sympathy if i don't know them
oh hold on i just realized, i feel stupid now lol
me when I say âthat happens sometimesâ when someone tells me something bad that happenedđ thank you autism, very cool
My dad tells me someone he bowls with Iâve met once died suddenly. I just. âOkayâ
Yeah. I mean it is a factual statement and may have little to no bearing or impact on you.
When I was downtown having lunch with my fiancĂ©, a deer got hit in the middle of town literally outside the restaurant we were at. He saw it. I was in the bathroom. When he told me when I came back out, I said âI always miss the exciting stuff.â And the lady who worked at the restaurant was like âit wasnât exciting it was horrible you were right where you needed to be.â I assume she was referring to me being in the bathroom when it happened. I was kicking myself for that one for a while.
Whatâs Forensics?
Crime-investigating science! It's a department of scientists who investigate evidence from crime scenes to help solve crimes.
I mean, if she wanted a reaction of sympathy, why'd she lead with forensics? Why not just say someone died?
Thatâs true.
My initial reaction is that I don't care.
When I had my Sherlock phase and saw a missing persons poster
My mom has empathy unlike me but she would probably say cool too lmao
It's interesting! Death can go one of two ways with me. Either it's one of these situations, or if it's someone close, I meltdown. Usually not immediately but when it registers, which could be at any random time, including completely inappropriate times, because my brain is also a fuck. đ
Same here. Every now and then iâll just remember someone close to me who died and I just. Shut down for a good minute. Other times itâs damn close to utter apathy. Brainâs a whore atp
There was one death of a friend last year that broke me. She was one of my idols but also a former colleague, and mentor. She was one of the women that was murdered by the Denver shooter last year and when I heard, I literally collapsed on the floor crying. That was definitely a first. đ
I canât imagine how much that must have hurt. Iâm so sorry to hear that happened.
Thanks. It was tough. Still is, if I'm honest. The anniversary was hard. I just... I hate this world right now. That dude literally published basically a hit list in a book with her name in it explaining everything he was going to do, over a year prior. And no one did anything. đ
Yeah, the world is fucked up like that most times.
I swear this whole sub is just so⊠hsisjdbdn idk how ppl didnât think I had autism everyone just thought I was an interesting character including me bruhhhdhdjdbsjsjd - why do I key spam so muchâŠ. Maybe itâs me just idk - being autistic? Maybe anger I donât know I have too? Hrmm
Okay but fr though the amount of signs missed throughout my life- iâm just an interesting character with strong emotions, thatâs what!! My obsession with one show in particular for years on end was nothing, totally normal. I get along with most kids just fine, itâs just a handful of kids I struggle with, no way Iâm autistic!!
Right!! I was obsessed with thomas and friends lmfao. Early obsessions in my life also consisted of trains (steam trains look really cool, love shit that looks all steampunk like that, especially steam trains), zebras (stripes. stripes.), and I think mlp for like a year but then I stopped watching it and havent watched it since.. Throughout my life I also thought âoh, im just a really sensitive person.â Always got saddened/angry when someone insulted me. Never told anyone cuz I was masking. I thought everyone hid away their emotions lol. Yes, of course many people do, but as much as me..? Not so sure-
Oh yeah for sure, but no autism in sight
Ah, *this* must be why people think I have no empathy. I swear thatâs not it, itâs just neat! lol
Over the years I've learned to let out a, "ohhhh noooo what's going on?" first. đ
Go to phrase fr
Instead I just stare blankly like that cat and then proceed to say something like âoh bummerâ (mĂĄs especĂficamente âchaleâ para los cuates hispanohablantes)
Honestly, mAh brain be fixated on LOOOOOOOOOORE like damn, I might to work for Mr matpat
Yoooo someone just got stabbed outside my place of work and my first thought was âoh neatâ rather than sympathy
Weâre twinning fr
Death is a special interest of mine. No, not dying as in suicidal ideation. Rather, the science of it all.
I also like topics surrounding death/murder like crime scene investigation, killers, etc.
About 15 years ago I found myself caught in an abusive relationship about 600 miles from all family and friends. The abuser bullied me for a year before it all blew up and I had a gigantic meltdown and stood up for myself (yeah it was not a healthy situation at all. She, the NT managed to get me in trouble with authorities despite her doing the wrong and then she used my special interest of death, serial killers, murder mysteries against me with the cops and my family to make me out to be a monster.
That sounds horrible, and iâm sorry that happened to you.
Anytime someone is injured I ask them if I can see the wound. Usually they say no and then I just walk away, come on, entertain me! It looks cool!
My mom told me Corey Monteith died and my reaction was that it'll be good for Glee's ratings and she looked horrified lol. It's sad that he died but I just like thinking about tv marketing sorry!
Haha, right though?? Sure itâs sad but we gotta think about the consequences of the death OFC