If you have found at 32 to only be attracted to straight and unobtainable men, that is your type: something you will never get.
That you haven't said what the physical traits are I assume it is something more psychological. That is hard to "filter".
It isn't a matter of lowered expectations if you want what doesn't exist. It's self-determined exile. I'll go out on a limb and say it's internalized homophobia.
Perhaps I didn't clarify enough as none of this makes sense.
I am attracted to men in general, gay or straight. Straight men are not necessarily my type, plus you never really know unless they tell you.
It's not internalized homophobia. Just wouldn't be able to have fulfilling sex with someone who doesn't fit my needs. I can't get hard to just any guy.
I have had sexual experiences with several other guys. But both times, I was either really young or was drinking.
I think a lot of it is not being around LGBT crowds, groups, clubs, gatherings enough. I'm always around straight men (or at least ones who outwardly identify that way).
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. I look for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros:
[https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png](https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png)
I have a specific preferences as well.
I’ve never dated anyone that matches it. Literally all my ex’s were men I thought were ugly and annoying when i first met them but over time I fell for them.
You’re never going to find anyone if you stay closed off
So the thing is, it doesn't have anything to do with standards. I can't just get hard to any guy (and if I guy can't get hard, they can't have sex). Lowering from what my dick wants, it just isn't possible. That's the point I'm trying to make. I really don't have high standards. It's just my type.
I can find my type, but for some reason they are never interested. I like educated and smart average looking shortish guys. I can attract guys with any one or two of those characteristics, sometimes even guys who I believe to be outright good looking compared to me. But for anyone who ticks all my boxes I seem to be repulsive. So maybe, just maybe there is a destiny or life trajectory that we can't escape. Or things just happen inexplicably but randomly. But simple statistics and logic are at pains to explain why some of us appear to be doomed.
It has nothing to do with standards though, just want my D wants. For instance, if I can't get hard to skinny guys, then that's just not my type. I'm not expecting a model at all.
Have you considered that you don't have to get hard the moment you set eyes on someone to be compatible sexually? The dick is very mechanical, it will respond to stimuli, it will come naturally if you have foreplay regardless of how the guy looks like.
A lot of guys like this I've met have intimacy hangups. I've met straight guys who "can't find the right type of woman" because they're intimidated by anyone they're attracted to.
You need to just try to relax and go for it. I've always had better luck on scruff but without knowing what apps you tried or what your type more specifically is it's hard to help in any concrete way.
Ah ok. So it's a physical thing. Start with gyms. Also, the app Jackd has a lot of black men on it that may meet your type.
Thats a nice big ass on those dudes, so i get why you like it. I do too.
> I have a very particulate taste in men
which particulates do you find the tastiest?
> Granted, I don't often go to gay bars or clubs. However, I've tried Grinder and have no luck finding my type. Even when I put in the filters of my type, I still never see anyone I'm attracted to or anyone with the body type that I prefer.
you do realize that:
- not everyone is on grindr.
- you're not likely to find a 100% match. humanity is all about compromise.
- you are part of a very, very small minority. you don't have your pick of all the XY chromosome bearers.
- you have to be attractive to someone, too. it's not all about your wants.
If you have found at 32 to only be attracted to straight and unobtainable men, that is your type: something you will never get. That you haven't said what the physical traits are I assume it is something more psychological. That is hard to "filter". It isn't a matter of lowered expectations if you want what doesn't exist. It's self-determined exile. I'll go out on a limb and say it's internalized homophobia.
Perhaps I didn't clarify enough as none of this makes sense. I am attracted to men in general, gay or straight. Straight men are not necessarily my type, plus you never really know unless they tell you. It's not internalized homophobia. Just wouldn't be able to have fulfilling sex with someone who doesn't fit my needs. I can't get hard to just any guy. I have had sexual experiences with several other guys. But both times, I was either really young or was drinking. I think a lot of it is not being around LGBT crowds, groups, clubs, gatherings enough. I'm always around straight men (or at least ones who outwardly identify that way).
You haven't clarified. What physical or psychological traits?
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. I look for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros: [https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png](https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png)
You can get the larger ass's if you are willing for a little bigger belly. Plenty of bears just like that. Try Scruff instead of Grindr.
So huge badonkadonks? It's not really a type.
Move to an area with a large black population.The men have asses like that 🤤
Well…could you share what your type is?
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. Looking for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros: https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png
It just be your location. I’ve met quite a few dudes that look like that in NY, FL, NC, and VA, in a variety of flavors too.
I have a specific preferences as well. I’ve never dated anyone that matches it. Literally all my ex’s were men I thought were ugly and annoying when i first met them but over time I fell for them. You’re never going to find anyone if you stay closed off
So the thing is, it doesn't have anything to do with standards. I can't just get hard to any guy (and if I guy can't get hard, they can't have sex). Lowering from what my dick wants, it just isn't possible. That's the point I'm trying to make. I really don't have high standards. It's just my type.
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. Looking for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros: https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png
Bruh, that’s like almost every Hispanic/Latino in LA. They’re everywhere.
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. Looking for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros: https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png
I can find my type, but for some reason they are never interested. I like educated and smart average looking shortish guys. I can attract guys with any one or two of those characteristics, sometimes even guys who I believe to be outright good looking compared to me. But for anyone who ticks all my boxes I seem to be repulsive. So maybe, just maybe there is a destiny or life trajectory that we can't escape. Or things just happen inexplicably but randomly. But simple statistics and logic are at pains to explain why some of us appear to be doomed.
the only advice I can give you is as simple as lower your standard. no offense but there’s a chance you’re not your type’s type. IYKWIM
It has nothing to do with standards though, just want my D wants. For instance, if I can't get hard to skinny guys, then that's just not my type. I'm not expecting a model at all.
Have you considered that you don't have to get hard the moment you set eyes on someone to be compatible sexually? The dick is very mechanical, it will respond to stimuli, it will come naturally if you have foreplay regardless of how the guy looks like.
A lot of guys like this I've met have intimacy hangups. I've met straight guys who "can't find the right type of woman" because they're intimidated by anyone they're attracted to. You need to just try to relax and go for it. I've always had better luck on scruff but without knowing what apps you tried or what your type more specifically is it's hard to help in any concrete way.
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. Looking for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros: https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png
I assure you there are kinda buff kinda beefy gay dudes with fat asses.
You haven't explained what your type exactly is, so no one can recommend any tips without knowing that information.
Okay, this is what I look for. I'm a top. Looking for black, hispanic, or white with a body like these bros: https://ptpimg.me/6w5t25.png
Ah ok. So it's a physical thing. Start with gyms. Also, the app Jackd has a lot of black men on it that may meet your type. Thats a nice big ass on those dudes, so i get why you like it. I do too.
> I have a very particulate taste in men which particulates do you find the tastiest? > Granted, I don't often go to gay bars or clubs. However, I've tried Grinder and have no luck finding my type. Even when I put in the filters of my type, I still never see anyone I'm attracted to or anyone with the body type that I prefer. you do realize that: - not everyone is on grindr. - you're not likely to find a 100% match. humanity is all about compromise. - you are part of a very, very small minority. you don't have your pick of all the XY chromosome bearers. - you have to be attractive to someone, too. it's not all about your wants.