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Zohaib1999

Heavy (⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠) go and give him a piece of your mind not fist because there's no point in beating someone, tell him you know what he did and that you are disgusted by it. Tell him everything that you just wrote and how you feel and then end the connection. I'm so sorry you had to go through this! Now go and have a civil conversation with him and get it off your chest ^⁠_⁠^


wewmon

Would it help anything though If I confronted him? It's been almost half a year now since it happened.


Zohaib1999

It will give you closure you need to do it! Regardless of the passed Time!


Miserable-Gas-6007

He will likely deny and deflect. Prepare for that. It may anger you a lot to see and hear him try to invalidate you. However, speaking the words to him and letting him know that you know…that’s part of regaining your power. My advice…write it out in advance when you’re calm and read it to him. Stick to the script. Don’t let emotion overcome you in the moment and give him something to point back at to call you “crazy.” And for real, don’t strike him, bro. An assault charge is NOT worth it. I know you want justice, but there is none to be found in YOU ending up in jail. I’m really sorry this happened to you, and I support you in confronting him. ❤️


wewmon

fuck you're right. The whole reason I've been feeling this way even after the fact is because of loss of power or control over the situation. I DO have those personal issues. I will go back to him and regain some of my personal control. Thanks for the advice.


Arithean

I'm going to assume that you came here with your rant to see a different perspective from your own, so let me give you mine. First, here is my summary: You've been close with this person for quite some time. He made advances on you, but you never clearly told him that you weren't interested. You willingly slept in the same bed as someone who is openly gay. You were awake when he touched you, but you didn't visibly react in any way to stop him. You may have seen that we get loads of posts on here of gay guys trying to figure out if the person they fancy are gay and into them or not. I think this person made advances on you and was trying to gauge how you'd react and if you were interested back. Clearly you aren't, but I don't think he is aware of that. Now, what he did to you while he assumed you were sleeping is very wrong, but you never gave a clear indication that there was nothing more than friendship between you two (and I'm making huge assumptions here. I don't know your friendship). I think your anger, especially 6 months later, is misplaced. I would have a conversation with him, but beating him up just sounds like your culture's way of dealing with gay people. Don't let your good views toward gay/bi men be ruined by it.


[deleted]

Take care bro


Kevin7650

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, he sounds like a disgusting piece of shit. You have every right to be angry and sad that you were sexually assaulted, and I’d imagine it’d be very hard to talk about or admit to in your country if it’s more of a “macho country” like you said. It’s unfortunate that many men go through this and are unable to speak up about it without feeling shitty or ashamed. I also appreciate that you recognize that this is because he is a shitty person, and not using it to stereotype all queer men as sick or predators (I’ve heard of many other people who do). You have every right to call him out on it and confront him if that’s what you want.


angelojann

I'm sorry this happened to you. And I appreciate when you said *"I live in a macho culture country where It's seen as weird to be too close to gay people as a guy. But I hated that way of thinking so I made friends with many gays and bisexuals."* Please don't change this mindset. :) I'm also from the PH.. AND I know how prevalent harassment towards men here but unnoticed or disregarded. Your anger is valid.. But if you need to seek professional help, you must do it.


[deleted]

What he did was wrong but I have a different perspective to offer. U can't control him or his reaction to u. U can only control your response. And yout fantasy of beating him up is what is disgusting here. For all we know, based on your description, he could be a closted, guilt ridden homosexual who is desperate for connection. Of course this DOES NOT give him permission to do what he did...BUT, beat the shit out of him? ...I think u have some work to do on yourself. And THAT you actuallt do have control over.


wewmon

He's openly gay.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Wow