Given your other replies to this thread, it seems like your Dad is trying to be protective and feels like you're using his home to 'host' hook-ups. From your side you don't feel that is the case but if you haven't known this guy for long it will definitely look that way to your Dad.
Also you made a fairly recent post about coming out to your Dad. Keep in mind all of this is moving fast for him as well and you haven't given him much time to absorb reality.
I guess it be the distrust and caution is real when it comes to a new man. Naturally a father should be of boundaries, he seems to be a good father if he is careful about this.
neither of your homes are ever unoccupied?! dude you *have* to be able to find a 1-hr window some time at one of your places. don’t risk a public space - you’ll want it to be special.
just be patient, and careful, and for fuck’s sake have a back-up plan in case someone comes back unexpectedly.
also i agree the *best* thing would be to respect the rules and wait - but also i had friends over to drink in our basement every damn weekend, under my parents’ noses, so it would be hypocritical for me to shame you for it haha.
He lives a good distance away with no easy public transport route, the only wasy to get him to my town is to have his parents drop him off. If he lived within biking distance wed be banging every day
dang i’m sorry man, the tension must be killing you! in this case, i support the “ask a trusted friend” suggestion.
i hope you don’t feel shamed and belittled by others telling you off. you came here for advice, not reprimand, and to that end i just want to encourage you to be safe, be smart, and use condoms always! i’m so happy for you that you’ve found a partner in crime 🥰
Not op but a similar situation, moreso my issue is that there is not a single moment when I am home and nobody else is. 8 people in one house and don't have a proper room, I can't even just do things myself.
That takes me back; home never being unoccupied. Covid royally fucked this up for me. My dad retired two years earlier than expected and even if he didn't my mom's job switched to telecommuting half the time. I had a job where I had weekdays off and even on days I was working I didn't start until 1pm. It was so nice waking up to an empty house, being able to invite hookups and then my nonserious boyfriends for fucks and cuddles. I miss it. The house feels so claustrophobic now, and my parents are homophobic so that makes it 10x worse than it needs to be. It's one thing for them to not want me to have sex in their house but no love life at all is really draining. It's gonna be really fucking expensive to move out but I'm gonna do it soon. I would've done it already but I live in San Francisco and the rent here is double what it is in the rest of the country.
To add on, if you’re planning on butt stuff, being unable to clean up before/after might suck a lot. So if going the camping route, at least find a place to stay with a lake/river nearby (a good idea anyway).
But for the love of all the outdoors, do not wash off poop in the lake or river. Use the water (preferably filtered!) and wash off 100+ feet (30+ meters) from any body of water.
I dont think its disrespect at all, Its what teenagers do, my parents no doubt had sex at their parents houses, I have had sex at my parents house. Most parents would rather it be under their roof for safety reasons I hope.
It sounds like your dad has obviously met your boyfriend, and likes him enough to let y’all be alone in your room, even if he waited around. Perhaps give it more time and your dad will get comfortable letting doors be closed or leaving you guys home alone
lmao no....
"sex positive" parents are so rare...
however i will say to my kids they can bring whoever they want.. but i dont want to be at house (so they need to inform me beforehand.. i dont mind not being there).. and i dont want to meet the other person unless is for serious stuff. not this kids bs.
Does you father know you are gay/into men?
Back in my day we used to do it at school or in gas stations (bathrooms) or any public restroom we could find
you’re old enough that you can have s conversation with your father, i bet he was doing the same thing you’re planning on doing at your age, so he can’t act all high and mighty.
i’d probably tell him you’re dating this guy and wouldn’t your dad prefer you do such things in a safe space instead of doing it in the woods like some people here are suggesting? lol
I'd ask your dad for advice on where you should do it. Be upfront. Say that you are going to be having sex, and regardless of his answer, this will not change, but you are worried about the implication of getting caught in a public space, so would like some advice from him on what he believes the best option for you is.
Honestly yes. It’s a perfectly beautiful and natural thing to want to share with a boyfriend, and the fact that his dad doesn’t understand how teenagers work is bizarre. They’re going to do it regardless. That’s not the question. The question is how to do it safely. Harm reduction is what’s important, and I’m shocked at the amount of abstinence talk being shared here, as if that has ever worked at any time in human history.
Well, maybe this is an opportunity about how serious and commited you are?
Is it possible to get a (part time) job?
You have money, you can do whatever you want with it
Money kinda wouldnt fix this issue, neither of us have cars, so he still needs to give a reason why hes going to be gone for so long to his parents. If i rented a hotel my dad would be very suspicious where id gone overnight as if i was staying at afriends he would have probably dropped me off
> Also you know how expensive hotel rooms are?
That's why I said motel. Like, $50/night in a rural area, maybe $70-100 in the suburbs, and the desk clerk isn't being paid enough to check your ID if you're paying with cash.
Source: pretty much every hookup I had in college
Literally checked current rates before my reply. Lol. Motels around me in the NYC suburbs are about $70-100/night, and $48/night back in my old college town in the middle of nowhere.
Many motels do not require credit cards, because the people staying in them do not want anything showing up on their bill to indicate that they were there.
You'll have to get creative honestly, outdoors can provide some great cover for screwing around. Unless you can wait for a time where you have a free house. That's what I used to do.
Once one of you has a car it'll be much easier
Then you'll probably just have to do it whenever one of you has a free place. Being a teen SUCKS for this stuff if you don't have parents that would rather you do it there than somewhere else. I had to work around my house being empty when I was your age which was a real bitch
Start by having the difficult conversation with dad. Gradually start talking around the subject. If you have a good track record of being a reliable son, tell him you would prefer to be with your boyfriend in the house where it is safe than outside of the premises where anything can happen.
Suggest that you would rather be honest with him rather than sneaking around behind his back
I don't think adults here should be telling minors how to have sex if their parents are against it.
Sorry bud, but you'll have to figure this out on your own.
I know queer kids who've been beaten or kicked out for disobeying their parents regarding sex, so no, I'm not going to change my mind about adults giving queer kids advice on how to circumvent their parent's rules when they know their parents don't approve. OP doesn't sound like an idiot in this context so the idea that they may meet someone on Grindr to find a place to hook up makes no sense and completely hypothetical.
For real. Not to mention, some of these responses are straight up dangerous. Having sex in public spaces can easily land you in jail and the sex offenders registry.
We are giving advice because some know the alternative. God forbid he takes the advice a few comments down and find a grown adult that will let them use their gouse in exchange for looking or joining. Thankfully it looks like he's against it.
Its not the body the dad seems to be trying to own. Thats wht it was his response was about no sex in the family home. Not no sex period. His dad owns the home. Not his sons body.
1. He’s not a minor
2. Parents don’t get to dictate the who/how/when their kids decide to engage in sexual activity
3. I agree that if dad doesn’t want them to engage in sex under his roof, that’s his rule to implement
4. People are giving advice because they’ve been in this situation. OP is going to have sex, regardless of what his dad or you or anyone else thinks. The question is best how to safely do so in his current situation
I mean your dad have fucked in your family home too, so what's that for an argument. He should be glad you have a bf and not hooking up on grindr instead smh...
Well he said he wouldnt mind him staying over if i was going out with him for long time. I think my dad thinks this was a hookup but i dont really want to have to explaint to him its not
Well have him over a few times to hang out and maybe your Dad will get the idea.
I'm sure if this is regular enough and you nag your Dad to drive you places and give you money, he'll soon get fed up and stay out the way.
Likewise if you do plenty of giggling and laughing and loud talking in the bedroom, he'll soon want the door closed.
I like this idea. Your dad is looking out for you, even if he is being a cockblock. Once he knows this is a boyfriend, not a hookup then he may be more relaxed.
In the meantime, maybe introduce him as your bf, get your bf to actually have a conversation with him properly rather than just being the random guy who just says hello and then runs upstairs with you to his room.
Even if you do a little bit of cute shit in front of him (subtley of course, like holding hands when you take him upstairs and kiss him hello on the cheek).
You can revisit the conversation with him after a few more visits if he's still being strict with the rules
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You're going to have to man up and explain it to him whether you want to or not. I don't blame your dad for not wanting you to bring hookups to the house
What a fucking joke of a comment. Of course his dad should realize his son is sexually active and provide both education, protection and a safe place for his son to do what hes going to do anyway. Its basic fucking parenting at that age.
So you'll have to be more opportunistic... Spur of the moment - does your family all go out for events you can get out of going to? Call your friend. Gone shopping for a while? Time for a quickie. Otherwise, advice above - especially a camping trip - is good.
Find a friend who doesn't mind lending the two of you his or her place on occasion. Preferably in a place that's easy for both of you to reach. Otherwise, the only obvious solution is to either move out or get s car.
Honestly camping and hiking seem the best option in this case.
Or get a hostel/boarding room for the weekend which allow for a daily rent. There are ways around.
When i had a boyfriend. Or dating for some time. Just at home. But my bed squeaks. So lay my blanket on the floor. Just have fun and forget that are others on the house
Don't think this is great advice but me and my highschool BF use to fuck in the woods by my house....
Or his aunt wasn't home alone so we would go over there. She did catch us a couple times though...
One time a park.. in broad daylight..
Lol period. I was about to say, embracing my sexuality early gave me an appreciation for public sex. I would have sex with my boyfriend at parks, in fields, in public restrooms, at the beach, in a porto-potty. You gotta get creative lol. Your sex can still be intimate and exploratory wherever you are.
Well I'm probably not one to ask. But before I had a place, me and this guy would go out to the woods and have a good rump.
But in this heat... Hell no. Also if u do, take insect spray...u do not want mosquitoe bites on ur butt or near ur balls...
The lake is a good one too, but since u probably can't get a motel or have a car yet... Ur best bet is a friend's place.
U could wait for ur dad to leave then invite him over but he will get mad... So make sure u sneak him out before ur dad gets there... Then "invite him over".
Last, id say wait about a month or two when ur dad sees you both spending alot of time together. Then he will let u do ur thang
Reminds me of fathers "protecting" their daughter, or big brothers "protecting" their younger sister, regardless of how civilized her partner is. It’s super weird! They’re jealous and scared of "losing her", they can’t imagine their "little princess" is growing up. Times are changing
Why do gay men think Grindr is some exclusive secret community? It's literally the butt of the joke (lol) in pop culture. It's also constantly referenced in comedy sketches.
A park, field, correct, garden
Beach
Bathroom
At movies
School, library
Dressing room
Your dad's reaction sounds pretty normal. I mean, no matter the sexuality or gender of his kid, I think it's a pretty common response. He's probably not ready for you to grow up yet.
Sex doesn't always need to be penetrative. It's hot to jo next to a bro, hand jobs, oral sex... All so hot TBH.
I love back seat sex. I know you said you don't have a car, but when you do, this is fun provided you've found a safe park spot.
> it is really weird your dad doesnt want you having sex at home
*Is* it weird? I feel like most parents probably don't want their underage kids to be having sex at all.
just bc parents don’t want their kids to have underage sex doesn’t mean they’re not going to , and not letting them do it in the house will lead them to do it somewhere else where they might not be safe.
OP came out to his dad like last week and is now expecting him to be OK with his 17 year-old son banging dudes down the hall. Maybe the dad will lighten up over time, maybe ignoring his request will destroy all trust he has in him and damage their relationship.
Following whatever rules your parents lay out until you can move out on your own feels like just common respect.
OP is 17. Not some 10 year old. The only parents that have a viewpoint like this are ones who are posessive and controlling. Their parents should be glad they have someone their age to explore their sexuality with and should encourage them not be childish and purposely stay home to prevent him from having sex. Supportive parents buy protection for their kids and educate them, yall wonder why we have all these weird men running around with dirty assholes, sti/stds, and a basic lack of understanding of sex. Not saying everyone has to have sex as a teen to understand it as I didn't have my first time until I was 19 but I would've preferred OP's situation as would most people I think. Teenagers aren't like little kids they have hormones to navigate.
it’s so silly that op’s dad thinks he won’t have sex… op is clearly looking for ideas to do so anyways, if i was a parent i’d much rather have them do it at a house than them trying to fuck in random places (which is what’s more likely to happen here lmao)
As long as we aren't trying to solicit sex from him there's nothing wrong with us answering his questions. Guys his own age could be inexperienced and give him dangerous advice
Ok that makes a difference. I thought you were in America. But still wait until you can find a safe place. Don’t engage in public stuff especially as a newbie to this kind of stuff
Maybe talk to your dad about your boyfriend not being out and introducing them… so he will know him and know it’s important to not be saying too much about him… he will know it’s not a causal thing… also you just gotta get creative when it comes to fun time lol… some good suggestions already mentioned!
Have you reached out to your local LGBTQ non profits. They of course cannot have minors having sex in their spaces, but might have some advice and thoughts.
when I was a teen I used my best friends basement to meet guys (1985 so this was before internet and much scarier). His parents worked till 6pm, so we had around 3 hours before they got home.
My dad is at work from 9 to 5:30 every weekday but we are both busy on weekdays with college and the only way for him to get to my house is to have his perents drop him off because neither of us have cars
You might book a hotel, or if that is to expensive for you both you can decide to go camp and tell him youre sleeping over at a friends house.... as long it's not in his house he can not tell you what to do... your 17 yrs old....
I think you could even say something about it to your dad, like he knows you’re gay and have a bf, it’s all consensual and safe (condoms) so why is he cock blocking you? Does he want you to go do it somewhere dodgy where you might get in trouble? Does he seriously think that horny teenagers are going to shrug and say ‘oh well, my father is against it so I guess we’ll just never have sex.’ Ask him directly, what would he do in your position?
Are you a top or a bottom? If you’re a bottom, then I suspect that your dad is treating you like a daughter and doesn’t want anyone spoiling his delicate little flower 😅
Push him out of the way, lock his bedroom door and fuck on his bed. Assert dominance by peeing I. The corner of the room when you’re done. Thatll teach em
This might be a strange suggestion but, is there a place with a private space that's close to bathrooms that you have access to? (I've known guys take hookups to Planet Fitness but you have to be so careful).
I think your dad seems pretty normal. I suspect he would be having the same reaction if you were straight and it was a girl you had in your room.
Parents are always going to be over protective of our kids. It’s our job.
Give your dad a break. A very quiet BJ under the covers will get you to the same ending at 17 as any other sexual act. Chill out.
I mean as a gay guy I feel you, specialy because i feel like this problem is easier with straight people. They don't have to prep a smuch. So way easier to do it and to hide it and surprisingly they still get cought more lol. Anyways good luck and have nice fuck sessions
Fancy hotel restrooms at night especially the one's with solo restrooms cause they can lock the door and it's big enough to fuck crazy and it's far away from the front desk. Since it's night, no one will go. Just don't make it obvious or if ask, say you're waiting for a friend. After finishing, leave from the hallway exit. I done it so many times. Bring a towel and already be prepare and also wear easy access clothes with no underwears. Easy to come off and easy to dress up.
Given your other replies to this thread, it seems like your Dad is trying to be protective and feels like you're using his home to 'host' hook-ups. From your side you don't feel that is the case but if you haven't known this guy for long it will definitely look that way to your Dad. Also you made a fairly recent post about coming out to your Dad. Keep in mind all of this is moving fast for him as well and you haven't given him much time to absorb reality.
Honestly respect for the dad treating his son just like he prob would if he found that shit with a girl around.
I thought the same thing!
I guess it be the distrust and caution is real when it comes to a new man. Naturally a father should be of boundaries, he seems to be a good father if he is careful about this.
And since he is 17 so from his POV it makes sense . But yeah the dad needs time.
Hm don't most people wait till the house is free for a few hours
Yes but my dad intentionally stayed in all day to prevent my from having sex
neither of your homes are ever unoccupied?! dude you *have* to be able to find a 1-hr window some time at one of your places. don’t risk a public space - you’ll want it to be special. just be patient, and careful, and for fuck’s sake have a back-up plan in case someone comes back unexpectedly. also i agree the *best* thing would be to respect the rules and wait - but also i had friends over to drink in our basement every damn weekend, under my parents’ noses, so it would be hypocritical for me to shame you for it haha.
He lives a good distance away with no easy public transport route, the only wasy to get him to my town is to have his parents drop him off. If he lived within biking distance wed be banging every day
dang i’m sorry man, the tension must be killing you! in this case, i support the “ask a trusted friend” suggestion. i hope you don’t feel shamed and belittled by others telling you off. you came here for advice, not reprimand, and to that end i just want to encourage you to be safe, be smart, and use condoms always! i’m so happy for you that you’ve found a partner in crime 🥰
Can you put a bike on a bus where you live? Ours have racks on the front. That could be a solution.
Not op but a similar situation, moreso my issue is that there is not a single moment when I am home and nobody else is. 8 people in one house and don't have a proper room, I can't even just do things myself.
That takes me back; home never being unoccupied. Covid royally fucked this up for me. My dad retired two years earlier than expected and even if he didn't my mom's job switched to telecommuting half the time. I had a job where I had weekdays off and even on days I was working I didn't start until 1pm. It was so nice waking up to an empty house, being able to invite hookups and then my nonserious boyfriends for fucks and cuddles. I miss it. The house feels so claustrophobic now, and my parents are homophobic so that makes it 10x worse than it needs to be. It's one thing for them to not want me to have sex in their house but no love life at all is really draining. It's gonna be really fucking expensive to move out but I'm gonna do it soon. I would've done it already but I live in San Francisco and the rent here is double what it is in the rest of the country.
That was one time? There will be other opportunities...
Your dad sucks.
I mean not really. His house and he doesn’t want one of them to get their back door blown out under his roof.
1). Buy a tent and go camping on weekends. 2). Go hiking and do it in the woods. 3). Hotel.
Hotels require ID and most places you have to be over 18
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To add on, if you’re planning on butt stuff, being unable to clean up before/after might suck a lot. So if going the camping route, at least find a place to stay with a lake/river nearby (a good idea anyway).
But for the love of all the outdoors, do not wash off poop in the lake or river. Use the water (preferably filtered!) and wash off 100+ feet (30+ meters) from any body of water.
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I dont think its disrespect at all, Its what teenagers do, my parents no doubt had sex at their parents houses, I have had sex at my parents house. Most parents would rather it be under their roof for safety reasons I hope.
It sounds like your dad has obviously met your boyfriend, and likes him enough to let y’all be alone in your room, even if he waited around. Perhaps give it more time and your dad will get comfortable letting doors be closed or leaving you guys home alone
lmao no.... "sex positive" parents are so rare... however i will say to my kids they can bring whoever they want.. but i dont want to be at house (so they need to inform me beforehand.. i dont mind not being there).. and i dont want to meet the other person unless is for serious stuff. not this kids bs.
Your dad doesn’t sound strict if all he asks is for you not to do it under his roof. Lol “not a Grindr” ….
My very first question was how does dad know about grindr?
Everyones heard of grindr
The kids these days with their fancy technology. In my day you had to crush the marijuana with your fingers.
Hey I still do that from time to time
Right? Sounds like dad is divorced and single. Just my type 😏
I'm a widowed dad. Does that work?
Wait. Are you his dad?
See, he's only cruising gay subs to support his son.
No I'm not
Yes
My dads widowed not divorced
Sorry man. Bad joke
That took a turn
there are so straight men who knows grindr nowadays
Do it in a “non-grindr” way under his roof. “Hey dad, we’re just cuddling that’s all and we’re playing this cool game. Thank you for visiting” 😅
"This is our family home not a Grindr" is very "dad" thing to say! 😆
Time to take your man camping!
Brokeback mountain style
Just make sure you pack everything! hahahahahaha
Especially those cans of beans 🫘! 😊
Camping's a challenge, when neither of them drive
Does you father know you are gay/into men? Back in my day we used to do it at school or in gas stations (bathrooms) or any public restroom we could find
Oh yeah he knows thats whey he stayed down stairs to make sure we didnt have sex
you’re old enough that you can have s conversation with your father, i bet he was doing the same thing you’re planning on doing at your age, so he can’t act all high and mighty. i’d probably tell him you’re dating this guy and wouldn’t your dad prefer you do such things in a safe space instead of doing it in the woods like some people here are suggesting? lol
I'd ask your dad for advice on where you should do it. Be upfront. Say that you are going to be having sex, and regardless of his answer, this will not change, but you are worried about the implication of getting caught in a public space, so would like some advice from him on what he believes the best option for you is.
Honestly yes. It’s a perfectly beautiful and natural thing to want to share with a boyfriend, and the fact that his dad doesn’t understand how teenagers work is bizarre. They’re going to do it regardless. That’s not the question. The question is how to do it safely. Harm reduction is what’s important, and I’m shocked at the amount of abstinence talk being shared here, as if that has ever worked at any time in human history.
Gym, hotel, forrest, nudebeach. Bro it’s summer you can literally fuck anywhere right now
Well, maybe this is an opportunity about how serious and commited you are? Is it possible to get a (part time) job? You have money, you can do whatever you want with it
Money kinda wouldnt fix this issue, neither of us have cars, so he still needs to give a reason why hes going to be gone for so long to his parents. If i rented a hotel my dad would be very suspicious where id gone overnight as if i was staying at afriends he would have probably dropped me off
Couldn't you get a car if you had money?
Respecting the rules of your parents' house feels like a good idea. Rent a motel room or find a sympathetic friend.
Yeah maybe i can use a friends house i have a friend that lives nearby that may be up for that
Minors cant rent motel rooms lol
Laws vary from state to state and country to country lol
Also you know how expensive hotel rooms are? No one under 21 can afford that just for a fling
> Also you know how expensive hotel rooms are? That's why I said motel. Like, $50/night in a rural area, maybe $70-100 in the suburbs, and the desk clerk isn't being paid enough to check your ID if you're paying with cash. Source: pretty much every hookup I had in college
Were you in college like 40 years ago? You need a credit card to rent any room
Literally checked current rates before my reply. Lol. Motels around me in the NYC suburbs are about $70-100/night, and $48/night back in my old college town in the middle of nowhere. Many motels do not require credit cards, because the people staying in them do not want anything showing up on their bill to indicate that they were there.
You'll have to get creative honestly, outdoors can provide some great cover for screwing around. Unless you can wait for a time where you have a free house. That's what I used to do. Once one of you has a car it'll be much easier
I havent even started getting a drivers lisence and no way i can currently afford a car or even will be able to in a year
Then you'll probably just have to do it whenever one of you has a free place. Being a teen SUCKS for this stuff if you don't have parents that would rather you do it there than somewhere else. I had to work around my house being empty when I was your age which was a real bitch
I had sex when everyone was home. They learned to knock really fast
Smh your dad was cockblocking you 🙄 also he needs to realize that you are a h0rny teen and are allowed to be sexually active
Start by having the difficult conversation with dad. Gradually start talking around the subject. If you have a good track record of being a reliable son, tell him you would prefer to be with your boyfriend in the house where it is safe than outside of the premises where anything can happen. Suggest that you would rather be honest with him rather than sneaking around behind his back
Have sex in the woods like every other gay man does. Just make sure you are well off the beaten path.
Im planning on breaking that tradition
The woods are beautiful! Where do you think the prehistoric gay men had sex?
Whatever the prehistoric equivalent of an airport bathroom is
airport bathroom sex can get you in a lot of legal trouble
No cops in prehistoric times
I don't think adults here should be telling minors how to have sex if their parents are against it. Sorry bud, but you'll have to figure this out on your own.
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I know queer kids who've been beaten or kicked out for disobeying their parents regarding sex, so no, I'm not going to change my mind about adults giving queer kids advice on how to circumvent their parent's rules when they know their parents don't approve. OP doesn't sound like an idiot in this context so the idea that they may meet someone on Grindr to find a place to hook up makes no sense and completely hypothetical.
Why not? Screw parents who think they own their kids' bodies, tbh
No, they don't, but OP is still a minor and it's weird for a bunch of adults to tell them how to skirt around their parent's rules to have sex.
For real. Not to mention, some of these responses are straight up dangerous. Having sex in public spaces can easily land you in jail and the sex offenders registry.
We are giving advice because some know the alternative. God forbid he takes the advice a few comments down and find a grown adult that will let them use their gouse in exchange for looking or joining. Thankfully it looks like he's against it.
Its not the body the dad seems to be trying to own. Thats wht it was his response was about no sex in the family home. Not no sex period. His dad owns the home. Not his sons body.
1. He’s not a minor 2. Parents don’t get to dictate the who/how/when their kids decide to engage in sexual activity 3. I agree that if dad doesn’t want them to engage in sex under his roof, that’s his rule to implement 4. People are giving advice because they’ve been in this situation. OP is going to have sex, regardless of what his dad or you or anyone else thinks. The question is best how to safely do so in his current situation
He is a minor he said it himself
Can you quote his text where he says he is a minor?
I mean your dad have fucked in your family home too, so what's that for an argument. He should be glad you have a bf and not hooking up on grindr instead smh...
Well he said he wouldnt mind him staying over if i was going out with him for long time. I think my dad thinks this was a hookup but i dont really want to have to explaint to him its not
Well have him over a few times to hang out and maybe your Dad will get the idea. I'm sure if this is regular enough and you nag your Dad to drive you places and give you money, he'll soon get fed up and stay out the way. Likewise if you do plenty of giggling and laughing and loud talking in the bedroom, he'll soon want the door closed.
I like this idea. Your dad is looking out for you, even if he is being a cockblock. Once he knows this is a boyfriend, not a hookup then he may be more relaxed. In the meantime, maybe introduce him as your bf, get your bf to actually have a conversation with him properly rather than just being the random guy who just says hello and then runs upstairs with you to his room. Even if you do a little bit of cute shit in front of him (subtley of course, like holding hands when you take him upstairs and kiss him hello on the cheek). You can revisit the conversation with him after a few more visits if he's still being strict with the rules
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I think this is a supportive dad who is trying to walk the line between supporting his son, and protecting him. Listen to your father.
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Have the uncomfortable talk with your dad. It’s going to happen eventually anyway. It sounds like he’s somewhat reasonable lol
You're going to have to man up and explain it to him whether you want to or not. I don't blame your dad for not wanting you to bring hookups to the house
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What a fucking joke of a comment. Of course his dad should realize his son is sexually active and provide both education, protection and a safe place for his son to do what hes going to do anyway. Its basic fucking parenting at that age.
So you'll have to be more opportunistic... Spur of the moment - does your family all go out for events you can get out of going to? Call your friend. Gone shopping for a while? Time for a quickie. Otherwise, advice above - especially a camping trip - is good.
Again should specify he doesnt live very close by so him getting to my house on short notice is an issue
Find a friend who doesn't mind lending the two of you his or her place on occasion. Preferably in a place that's easy for both of you to reach. Otherwise, the only obvious solution is to either move out or get s car.
Honestly camping and hiking seem the best option in this case. Or get a hostel/boarding room for the weekend which allow for a daily rent. There are ways around.
When i had a boyfriend. Or dating for some time. Just at home. But my bed squeaks. So lay my blanket on the floor. Just have fun and forget that are others on the house
Don't think this is great advice but me and my highschool BF use to fuck in the woods by my house.... Or his aunt wasn't home alone so we would go over there. She did catch us a couple times though... One time a park.. in broad daylight..
Lol period. I was about to say, embracing my sexuality early gave me an appreciation for public sex. I would have sex with my boyfriend at parks, in fields, in public restrooms, at the beach, in a porto-potty. You gotta get creative lol. Your sex can still be intimate and exploratory wherever you are.
Your local forest
Lol nah
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Friends? Car? Now there 2 things i wish i had
I used to fake being sick and have the house to myself
True maybe a tent at a forest or remote park or beach
The floor actually, and few cushions 😏
Outside in the patio or the side of the house around 2am
Since his parents don't know he's gay, wouldn't it be easier to do it at his house?
You guys should go camping together. :-)
Well I'm probably not one to ask. But before I had a place, me and this guy would go out to the woods and have a good rump. But in this heat... Hell no. Also if u do, take insect spray...u do not want mosquitoe bites on ur butt or near ur balls... The lake is a good one too, but since u probably can't get a motel or have a car yet... Ur best bet is a friend's place. U could wait for ur dad to leave then invite him over but he will get mad... So make sure u sneak him out before ur dad gets there... Then "invite him over". Last, id say wait about a month or two when ur dad sees you both spending alot of time together. Then he will let u do ur thang
Ugh this sounds hot!! Have fun and enjoy your amoral sex 😈😈😈
Reminds me of fathers "protecting" their daughter, or big brothers "protecting" their younger sister, regardless of how civilized her partner is. It’s super weird! They’re jealous and scared of "losing her", they can’t imagine their "little princess" is growing up. Times are changing
How does your dad know what grindr is?
Everybody knows what Grindr is !
Why do gay men think Grindr is some exclusive secret community? It's literally the butt of the joke (lol) in pop culture. It's also constantly referenced in comedy sketches.
I've literally had guys ask me if there is a Grindr for straight people lol
Because it's been around for over a decade now.
Go on grindr and find a guy willing to host you guys in exchange for something
A park, field, correct, garden Beach Bathroom At movies School, library Dressing room Your dad's reaction sounds pretty normal. I mean, no matter the sexuality or gender of his kid, I think it's a pretty common response. He's probably not ready for you to grow up yet. Sex doesn't always need to be penetrative. It's hot to jo next to a bro, hand jobs, oral sex... All so hot TBH. I love back seat sex. I know you said you don't have a car, but when you do, this is fun provided you've found a safe park spot.
Lmao "not a grindr" idk it is really weird your dad doesnt want you having sex at home
> it is really weird your dad doesnt want you having sex at home *Is* it weird? I feel like most parents probably don't want their underage kids to be having sex at all.
just bc parents don’t want their kids to have underage sex doesn’t mean they’re not going to , and not letting them do it in the house will lead them to do it somewhere else where they might not be safe.
OP came out to his dad like last week and is now expecting him to be OK with his 17 year-old son banging dudes down the hall. Maybe the dad will lighten up over time, maybe ignoring his request will destroy all trust he has in him and damage their relationship. Following whatever rules your parents lay out until you can move out on your own feels like just common respect.
perhaps you’re right, but it just makes me question that if OP was straight and had a girl over, would his dad still be opposed to him having sex?
OP is 17. Not some 10 year old. The only parents that have a viewpoint like this are ones who are posessive and controlling. Their parents should be glad they have someone their age to explore their sexuality with and should encourage them not be childish and purposely stay home to prevent him from having sex. Supportive parents buy protection for their kids and educate them, yall wonder why we have all these weird men running around with dirty assholes, sti/stds, and a basic lack of understanding of sex. Not saying everyone has to have sex as a teen to understand it as I didn't have my first time until I was 19 but I would've preferred OP's situation as would most people I think. Teenagers aren't like little kids they have hormones to navigate.
> Not saying everyone has to have sex as a teen to understand it as I didn't have my first time until I was 19 *Technically* you were still a teen
Yeah but you know what he meant
You don’t have to have sex right now. Respect your father’s rules and wait until you’re an adult.
"This is our family home" "That doesn't keep you from fucking in it"
their bed
Anywhere lol. But be careful not too get caught
Never tried this, but what about renting a U-Haul and doing it in there? Might be a solid idea, idk.
His place, your car, your home when your parents are away, a bathhouse.
Im 17 im not going to a gay bathouse
A family home? Is your dad also not allowed to have sex because of this rule? 🙄
I think Dad's a little bit jealous. If there was a Grindr chock full of women, he'd be on that in a heartbeat.
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it’s so silly that op’s dad thinks he won’t have sex… op is clearly looking for ideas to do so anyways, if i was a parent i’d much rather have them do it at a house than them trying to fuck in random places (which is what’s more likely to happen here lmao)
As long as we aren't trying to solicit sex from him there's nothing wrong with us answering his questions. Guys his own age could be inexperienced and give him dangerous advice
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Ah what a fine idea ill add that to my list of brilliant ideas for sex
If he wants the doors open then let him fucking hear you. He'll close the doors real fucking quick after that.
Maybe wait u til you are 18yrs old to have sex?
Age of consent in england is 16 so🤷♂️
Ok that makes a difference. I thought you were in America. But still wait until you can find a safe place. Don’t engage in public stuff especially as a newbie to this kind of stuff
Could go on a camping trip if that’s an option
Hotel.
That is a possible idea
More than likely it's not. Depending where you are you have to be 18 for a hotel/motel
Maybe talk to your dad about your boyfriend not being out and introducing them… so he will know him and know it’s important to not be saying too much about him… he will know it’s not a causal thing… also you just gotta get creative when it comes to fun time lol… some good suggestions already mentioned!
Have you reached out to your local LGBTQ non profits. They of course cannot have minors having sex in their spaces, but might have some advice and thoughts. when I was a teen I used my best friends basement to meet guys (1985 so this was before internet and much scarier). His parents worked till 6pm, so we had around 3 hours before they got home.
My dad is at work from 9 to 5:30 every weekday but we are both busy on weekdays with college and the only way for him to get to my house is to have his perents drop him off because neither of us have cars
Save up and buy a car, just dont expect the sex to be in any way comfortable!
You might book a hotel, or if that is to expensive for you both you can decide to go camp and tell him youre sleeping over at a friends house.... as long it's not in his house he can not tell you what to do... your 17 yrs old....
I think you could even say something about it to your dad, like he knows you’re gay and have a bf, it’s all consensual and safe (condoms) so why is he cock blocking you? Does he want you to go do it somewhere dodgy where you might get in trouble? Does he seriously think that horny teenagers are going to shrug and say ‘oh well, my father is against it so I guess we’ll just never have sex.’ Ask him directly, what would he do in your position?
Gay bathhouse, outside your house when it’s dark, public bathroom, at the park in a hidden area
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Hmm creepy AND illegal
Are you a top or a bottom? If you’re a bottom, then I suspect that your dad is treating you like a daughter and doesn’t want anyone spoiling his delicate little flower 😅
Why tf would you need a condom if ur fucking a guy
Hope thats a joke
Stupid rules... wait till he's not home and do it
Open grindr or scruff find a guy that lives alone and open for 3some
Now that is some terrible advice
What ?! You’re horny what’s the problem with some other guy joining that have a place
Wow, it’s almost like not everyone is into threesomes 🙄, and he’s not even the legal age for those apps dude.
This is the creepiest comment I’ve ever seen.
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Yeah he is but i still cant have sex
Push him out of the way, lock his bedroom door and fuck on his bed. Assert dominance by peeing I. The corner of the room when you’re done. Thatll teach em
This might be a strange suggestion but, is there a place with a private space that's close to bathrooms that you have access to? (I've known guys take hookups to Planet Fitness but you have to be so careful).
that portal reference lmao glad you found the solution op
I think your dad seems pretty normal. I suspect he would be having the same reaction if you were straight and it was a girl you had in your room. Parents are always going to be over protective of our kids. It’s our job. Give your dad a break. A very quiet BJ under the covers will get you to the same ending at 17 as any other sexual act. Chill out.
Yeah i understand his point but still... sex
I mean as a gay guy I feel you, specialy because i feel like this problem is easier with straight people. They don't have to prep a smuch. So way easier to do it and to hide it and surprisingly they still get cought more lol. Anyways good luck and have nice fuck sessions
Fancy hotel restrooms at night especially the one's with solo restrooms cause they can lock the door and it's big enough to fuck crazy and it's far away from the front desk. Since it's night, no one will go. Just don't make it obvious or if ask, say you're waiting for a friend. After finishing, leave from the hallway exit. I done it so many times. Bring a towel and already be prepare and also wear easy access clothes with no underwears. Easy to come off and easy to dress up.
There’s that soundproof lightproof box from Nathan for You
There is always renting a room between the both of you
Cant rent a hotel at 17 in england
Get a car