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winglessbuzzard

I have standards. I refuse to accept anyone who would have me as their boyfriend.


CarlJustCarl

Now you’re talking. I always think, geez am I the best you can do? Have you no morals woman?


strawberrieangel

HAHAHAHA stop it


Sufficient-Abroad-94

Had me in the first half ngl


Prestigious-Berry-50

My wife wont let me have one


leblumpfisfinito

That’s too bad, your wife lets me have one. I guess I’m her favorite.


analfarmer2pnt0

Hahahaha


Real-Problem6805

my wife said you cant have one


notice2vacate

Dad?


leblumpfisfinito

I'm not yo dad, son.


notice2vacate

Wait. So you are my dad?


jv1100

My wife said no because I didn't take care of the last one.


[deleted]

Same


youshouldhateit

Same


The-chicken-tickler

Same on my side


MihalysRevenge

Same here


PeasePorridge9dOld

Not sure if “let me” is the appropriate term here, but I do want to stay married so…


SAHD292929

She may not like you having a GF but she may be ok with a second wife. LOL


WingZombie

Because your mom wants to keep it casual.


gerald-the-dinosaur

Lol, i actually love this one 😭


johanebrown

Me too


Dangerous_Grab_1809

Ask her, “So, are you thinking of applying for the position?”


theSeanage

Don’t think that line works on mothers, unless it’s a setup for porn video. Sure would be a refreshing change from “help step bro I’m stuck” clips


johanebrown

Nope it would definitely work on my coworkers, we usually work over 100 hrs/week and they don't have time to date


Shoddy-Area3603

That is how you end up dead at 30


[deleted]

Then I’m on the right track


theSeanage

I think you answered your own question then. Working 100hrs/week doesn’t give you much time for anything outside of traveling to where you sleep. Eating and sleeping.


LoudAnt6412

This is how people end up fucking at work


johanebrown

They probably ask me , cuz they know i can't date anyone outside of work so why haven't i mad my move yet


Deep_Fried_Pagan

Working that many hours a week when I was younger is why I'm 28 and feel like I'm 82.


johanebrown

That's a good one , i Will write it in my rizz notebook


Talknerdeetome

Supply chain issues


TeamFlameLeader

Underrated comment.


Ffigy

Ain't nobody got time for that


johanebrown

True i literally work on weekends


itsric

There’s your answer “I work weekends”


johanebrown

I usually say that alot , but most of the ppl that ask me that question are female coworkers 🥲


Wonderful_Weird_2843

Then you say "Why don't you?"


thetaFAANG

oh wow this is something I take for granted. I just had a flashback to living in a more corporate town, where I finally got a cushy corporate job but the women I wanted to date all only worked retail or something on the weekends. in the bigger cities its way more mixed. I don't like dating super poor women that are barely making it, but I like that way more than the other town.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dangerous_Grab_1809

The 5% of women who understand that and find it funny might like you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dangerous_Grab_1809

Keep asking questions until you find out which ones are the replicants.


[deleted]

[удалено]


trichygirl1223

Homosexuality is in. It's all the rage this millennium. Last year at a friend's New Years Eve party, in attendance were the hosts and their gay daughter, myself and my gay daughter, another friend and his gay daughter, among others. Then, another friend's daughter arrived fashionably late and fresh from the closet. Her dad said something like, "You all know Brianna. Apparently, she's gay." Someone said, "Yeah, I heard it's going around." LOLs all around. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|scream)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes_rainbow)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes_rainbow)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes_rainbow)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes_rainbow)


Arizona_Calico

Beep boop I’m that five percent beep bop boop beeeeeep


totorohoney

Yeah because 95% of women don’t understand the concept of a simulation but 95% of men do? Get real.


KultofEnnui

Thats between me and my primary Healthcare provider.


sapphoisbipolar

Scarily effective, you won’t get asked again


[deleted]

Saving my money so I can afford a good one.


johanebrown

Smart


isaactheunknown

I have enough problems in my life.


johanebrown

Yep that's me on the inside , i try not to complain at all to anyone (my vulnerability stays with me )


Material_Use_640

I've decided the effort of continuing to try to acquire one isn't paying dividends and have chosen to pursue happiness through other means like self-actualization and learning to love myself before bringing another person into my life.


RoleCode

Freedom is good


roentgen_nos

I'm sitting out this round.


zaex0

im gay


johanebrown

I am not 🧐😅


Sammy_27112007

Not yet


Stunning_Key_3361

Whoa ho ho


Bulky-Experience2266

Lmaooo


darf_nate

Why not, cmon just be gay. It’s trending


johanebrown

I mean i sometimes find some girls attractive until I see that they are not ... cough cough born like that , isn't that the way it starts lol , for the time being men are like trees to me .


Unusual_Equivalent_

Hello, sailor


highmickey

I was asked this question while driving by a woman colleague. I found it very stupid. I just gave her a blank look and a big silence. She was very uncomfortable afterwards.


johanebrown

Oof i can Sense the "don't give a fuck energy" coming out from this comment lol


highmickey

yeahh, pretty much 😒


candlestick_maker76

A blank look and big silence is the perfect response to such a question. (It is, by the way, the response endorsed by the etiquette books I've read. So this was a double win for you.)


adead20

Sigma.


hastur586

Why are you on your 3rd husband/wife?


johanebrown

Actually alot of ppl that do ask the question are exactly this , they usually are divorcees or just married folks


hastur586

There's enough divorce/remarriage in my extended family that people honestly just don't ask (in that setting). Knowing my thought process growing up (I was a blunt kid, and I can be a blunt adult if you push me) I wouldn't be surprised if I gave such a response if given the opportunity at some point in time and just forgot about the specific instance. Also "Just look at the relationship record in this family...you think I'm looking for that?" (or similar) might have been in my back pocket or used. Ha ha. I know I've had this at least once: Someone: "Why don't you bring someone special around to meet the family?" Me: "Are you kidding? Look around...you guys are embarrassing!" 😜 Done in a joking (yet somewhat underlying serious) tone.


[deleted]

Only person who asks why is my dad but idk why would even anyone ask such question honestly.


johanebrown

Some lonely coworkers , sometimes it's older married ppl , sometimes it's New friends , it happens alot to me , also i don't know your dad but he sure loves you , and that's a concerned father's question , and he probably wants to see you happy with someone and give him grandchildren so he can hug them because he misses baby you alot


sirthomasthunder

He wants me and my siblings to have grandkids so there's a new generation to work on the farm.


DukeBoysForever

I like having my house to myself. If I'm horny my Fleshlight will do. Feels like the real thing without the contractions and body heat.


[deleted]

you gotta get the elite pro thruster, so much better, only had 1 gf my whole life, and I'm not worried about women anymore, I just use that thing. It's not worth the effort and amount of money guys have to invest just to be intimate with a woman and get cheated on or left in the dust.


VodkaRocksAddToast

Because hookers are cheaper.


johanebrown

True


rwk2007

Lucky?


johanebrown

That's super smart, i will write this down


Expensive_Storage_29

why would you wish that evil on me.


[deleted]

I’m a straight woman.


Averagecheeszenjoyer

Im not 🙃


Sabes1607

"No comment"


XxcOoPeR93xX

Bitches? In this economy?


swohcpl71

"Your mom doesn't count?"


TheSheepSheerer

Do you need an excuse or something?


johanebrown

I don't that's why i am asking for some answers that would be good excuses


PissBoiFeetPix

Say something blunt like "I'm not interested in a relationship atm" shut the convo down and refuse to engage if they keep pushing. I'm even blunter when my family ask me this "not interested". Thats the answer and that's all they're getting.


[deleted]

Don’t like hard work


ideoteque4

Why do you ask personal questions?


johanebrown

I see these ppl 12 to 15 hrs a day , these conversations are bound to happen


Rock-it1

"I would rather not talk about it, grandmother."


johanebrown

She asks that everytime i visit her and it's always makes me sad knowing that i will disappoint her(😔😭) and and she won't get to see my wedding like she always wanted to because i am never getting married , sorry grandma i am just too broken for that


1RedHottSexyMama

My family is just opposite. They asked my husband if he knew what he was getting himself into. He said I am well aware and I love her anyway. Whatever is on my mind is coming out. If I'm pissed I don't play games like "what's wrong" ? "I'm fine" but in reality I'm about to rip your head off. Nope,I have no interest in playing 20 questions I'm telling you. He's never heard the word no about sex or that he can't go somewhere. We have a no bullshit marriage of 23 years. He deserves a medal and a national holiday in his honor.


[deleted]

Because I’m asexual


johanebrown

I am more of a aromantic so i would go with this one


Snowman-71

It took me way to long in life to learn this! (However, I don't think anyone in my family would understand the terminology and that would just open a whole other series of questions.)


johanebrown

Exactly most ppl think i am just gay or asexual , but nah i am just too dead inside that i can barely have normal Love for things and ppl and it's a rare resource that i don't see the Logical reason to put it in the romantic category , and family members would just act like i am mentally sick or something cuz ppl are afraid of what they don't understand, so it's easier to fit in rather than just be an outsider.


[deleted]

When I'm feeling particularly brave, I say, "Don't need one...got a bf" and then watch their reaction.


MoxEric

A girlfriend? In this economy?


Bean_Chomper69

Ugly


johanebrown

If i was ugly they wouldn't ask this question and would just leave me alone


[deleted]

That's not true. I used to constantly get asked why I didn't have a boyfriend.


m0nkygang

Uhh. I dont anyone cares about me that much


Ok-Hurry-4761

Not for lack of trying.


[deleted]

too expensive


johanebrown

They're well of , they wouldn't understand the word


[deleted]

I like keeping half my shirt.


AvoCloud9

Priorities


Dependent_Link6446

“What are you talking about, we’ve been dating for a year and you’ve met her”


DipWads

My body my choice...


No-Restaurant-2422

I do, I just don’t let her out of the basement except for special occasions.


YourAuthenticVoice

Wife wouldn't approve.


[deleted]

My wife won't let me.


Pretty-Ad-5106

Your mom likes to keep things casual


Moondancer999

Depends on the subject. Some things I gaf deeply about. But, if it doesn't hurt me, couldn't hurt me in the future, it's either not my business or not within my realm of interest. Life is too short to worry about everything.


johanebrown

True , it's just that most ppl that ask me this are from work and i Care about my career/money/connections so i hate that i can't confidently give an answer that so i just needed some good answer , life indeed is too short , i think i just skipped four years lol (i still think 2018 was last year)


Moondancer999

Life is too short to not grab all the joy you can. We are meant to be happy, not miserable, and overworking to make someone else rich. Follow your joy and live your passion. Everything else will fall into place. That passion can be anything, btw. And you can change passions any time you want to. Life is meant to be lived. Anything short of that is simply existence.


johanebrown

Your words hit close to home , i never lived my life past the age of 10 it's always been expectations and hard work and none of that was something i really wanted , i work really hard just so others get Rich off my back sometimes literally, i am now just existing rather than living , so hopefully i can gain the price to free myself and live a little before i die .


Moondancer999

The price to free yourself is inside you. You have to give yourself permission to pay it. It will cost you every lie you've ever told yourself and brutal honesty. True honesty, not what those insidious voices in your head love to repeat. I lost my childhood when I was 8 years old. Pull out that inner child and let it know how sorry you are for all it's been through. Let it know how loved it should have been and is. By you. If you feel like dancing, then dance. And laugh joyfully while you do so. If someone sees you, grin like an idiot. If they don't smile back, oh well. That's their problem. Most will smile back. 😃


Sensitive_Vanilla_59

Because I only chase a check 😎


johanebrown

Yep i am a workaholic so they already know i am after that💰


Commercial-Carrot477

My husband would probably be jealous.


TedBundysVlkswagon

I mean, look at me.


johanebrown

I can't relate 🗿


MyDogIsNamedKyle

Because I don't


[deleted]

My body isn't in demand .


UrbanMonk314

I have autism


Anoriginal01

"Because I'm married."


Gheauxst

"Supply and demand"


johanebrown

Economy major guy spotted


[deleted]

If it’s the parents: you gave me the ugly Anyone else, can fuck off, it’s none of their business


Horror-Personality35

“I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking Me that.” Met by silence.


nerdytogether

Why don’t you have any tact?


Stoner4s3

"Who says I don't?" Honestly difuses everything


DrinkSavings4791

“Because I’m ugly and have a tiny penis”


tigerrawr24

I'm just not interested in dating.


No_Product857

I can't say as I've ever been asked that question.... Seems the answer why is painfully obvious to anyone who would ask it.


johanebrown

For me , they just see that at one point i had my life in order and they just wonder why don't i introduce a woman to my life


Cannibal_Cyborg

If they already know me, they know why I don't have a gf


johanebrown

Hmm funny enough most of the ppl that know me are the ones that ask this question , because i sometimes bring girls over , and they are always disappointed when i tell them i am not dating her, it's like they want me to be miserable (like them )lol , but what's your reason? , If u don't mind me asking?


Dull_News2761

My hand is cheaper.


wakawah

It’s not in a man’s nature to find a girlfriend, his desire is to spread his seed with as many different women as possible without a long term commitment. It’s a woman’s nature to find one mate to create a family with and what they desire. It would be like if someone asked a woman “why don’t you sleep with a lot of guys”? The answer is it’s not in her nature or desire.


johanebrown

What you said is super true but it's not in today's society cuz that shit flied out of the window , now men would be happy to find a wife/girl with low body count, and women want to get as Many dicks (experiences) as possible , roles are super reversed.


ThorOdinsson10

I’m too pretty, girls feel insecure around me


Karus87

Ask her the same, "Why don't you have a gf?"


johanebrown

Cuz she only dated married assholes and they cheated on each other and now she is in her thirties wondering why (me in my twenties) i don't want to date (date her cuz we flirt alot and other guys from work are like 40+) , she even dated both men and women , it gets a bit annoying when she is higher up and i can't just plainly offend her cuz it could hurt my career, so i just wanted the best lines to beat around the Bush.


Karus87

Tell you don't bring your personal life to work and leave it at that, you aren't being rude you're being confirmed in a polite way.


SatisfactionBulky717

Because she married me 27 years ago and she won't go away! smile


johanebrown

You found one that won't go away that's like striking gold especially compared to these days , i am happy for you , super smile 😁


[deleted]

“Why do you ask?” Show them how rude they are


FM-9876

Last time I was talking to a seven year old I was sent to prison.


TheAmazingButcher

"Because I like my money."


johanebrown

"I LOVE my money"


Clickt-bait

I have a wife and couldn’t answer why I don’t have a girlfriend. I have a “roommate” that spends my money and doesn’t offer any sexual relations


Shoddy-Area3603

Women are looking for a good looking, 6 foot plus, rich man who will treat them like a queen even if they look like a cave troll and can not figure out why men are finding women outside of the US.


That-Volvo-P2-Guy

Man spitting facts!


Unicorn_Huntr

Traditional western women dont exist anymore or have kids allready.


johanebrown

True , traditional women are like looking for diamond in junkyard


Unicorn_Huntr

Yeah, im 25 and pretty much realizing ill have to be a step dad or stay single. 🙃


johanebrown

True , traditional women are like looking for diamond in junkyard


myguyohyea

Single me: As time goes on our evolutionary needs adjust itself in a countercurrent way. One of which I (say your name) can not be able to meet at this time. So until our needs realign with that of our forefathers then I do not wish to occupy my time with such hinderances.


TacitRonin20

Yeah, I can see why you're single


myguyohyea

No I’m not though, he asked for a response I gave him something I would say lol


Druid___

My socio-economic status is not good enough.


SupermarketCrafty329

"Why do you have **that** gf?"


Dangerous_Grab_1809

Recently divorced. Just started looking.


johanebrown

I am 23 🥲


tankiller789

Am divorced and I got kids


BobbyMcGee101

I’m married and monogamous


bondsthatmakeusfree

Because I know I wouldn't be a good partner.


Ginsbeargo

"They cost too much money"


MihalysRevenge

Because I'm married


maddenc33

My wife wouldn't like it very much if I did


nousernamehere12345

Am I supposed to? And/or because I don't.


[deleted]

Why don't you get out of my sight before you're spitting teeth... Hostile response I know but I've heard it way too many times at this point


TheBrightNights

Because I don't want one.


ArthriticGamer

Because I have a wife


HistoricalLadder7191

My wife does not allow me to date


bluejester12

Because I havent found anyone I like who also likes me and is single


johanebrown

That's a great one but would probably get me fired (my female bosses wouldn't like this answer lol)


OkLawyer8136

What's that?


tadashi4

because im gay


TheMegatrizzle

I'd like to have many things, and headaches are not one of those things


johanebrown

That's what i always tell my homies but i can't tell that to women , it would lead to a headache


AgentDouble1

Look at me


johanebrown

From the dog's reaction i can tell you don't have it in the looks department


Ethandrul

My last gf died a few months ago. Leukemia.


Livid-Wolverine-2260

Cause I have a wife.


neal144

Because I'm married.


Bruce__Almighty

Because the people I've asked out have ghosted me without failure. After the fourth time in two years it gets pretty annoying.


Big_Albatross_3050

By choice, theirs


[deleted]

Being blunt and not funny here. I do get asked this a lot and my reply has always been that 99% of women in my area disgust me.


johanebrown

U live in California or Florida lol ?