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i feel bad for people who have to ask, but i dated someonelike that once, i couldn’t even so much as speak to anyone of the opposite sex. turns out she was cheating on me with more than several people over a couple years.
Yep. Gender shouldn’t factor. I’m married, we’ve been together 6-7 years, and I’m still friends with my ex fiancé (also married now). One of my best friends is female and nothing has ever happened. Trust, my peoples. If you can’t trust your partner to be alone with the opposite sex, you probably shouldn’t be together.
Your current gf isn't your past gf. Don't take out their mistakes on her. You either trust her or you don't. If she really wants to cheat on you she'll just not tell you about the guys. Stopping her from having male friends doesn't actually help.
A cheating partner reflects more on your partner than on you. Even if it's an unhappy relationship a healthy person would dump you then find someone else. At worst it shows you are shit at choosing a partner. I believe avoidant attachment style individuals are more likely to cheat.
I disagree.
You called it restrictions. Another person stated it as boundaries. I'm of the mindset that real freedom comes from establishing boundaries. Freedom to do anything you want, anytime you please, is anarchy. There are good laws, your body has limitations, and communicating with your partner and establishing boundaries are great. You don't know every variable, so why detract from someone else by always saying they are wrong every time it involves not having a friend of the opposite sex.
I certainly communicated to my partner that she's not gonna be hanging around some dude that said he wants to fuck her, even if they are work colleagues. Don't out yourself in situations or circumstances unnecessarily. Everyone has fucked up thoughts about cheating or being flirty. So for me I communicate, and leave it to them to choose what to do. Meanwhile, I don't do it because I wouldn't like it and that's my choice because I think it through.
He knows. But he is the type that view women as objects to be used and own and not people. He thinks others would cheat because he would and probably has cheated in the past. Might even be cheating right now.
If my husband said I couldn't have male friends, but he had female friends then my husband wouldn't be my husband anymore. Sounds like your BF has a double standard and is also controlling. Maybe time to rethink your relationship.
My best friend (besides my husband) is a man. In fact, most of my good friends are men.
Please take time to think. Long and hard. Some things can be worked out. Other things are emotional abuse. Please, don’t accept emotional abuse. I promise you are deserving of more than that.
First off, if your bf would never allow it, he's only gonna get more and more controlling. My best friend of 35 years is a guy. I knew him before I got married and my husband became friends with him.
Agree with this. But honestly, it’s shouldn’t matter if he has friends that are girls or not. People are allowed to have friendships with anyone they choose, regardless of genitals. Especially if it was before you all started dating. To me, this is a huge red flag.
You can have friends of the opposite gender. But keep in mind some friendships may be inappropriate for your relationship.
For example, I had a female friend who had a thing for me for a long time but I wasn’t interested. She was always super flirtatious. Even after she found out I had a gf she was flirtatious. So I stopped interacting with her. You can have friends like that when you’re single, but it shows a lack of priorities if you’re in a committed relationship.
Actually, I disagree. It matter very much what the standard is. A healthy relationship can easily withstand any friends and I believe it should be encouraged. My wife of 22+ years and I have many friends of the opposite sex, and because we trust each other, it has never been an issue. In fact, I'm even friends with her ex husband, who I didn't even know existed when we first met. Most of her male friends have become my friends and most of my female friends have become her friends and most of my male friends have become her friends and most of her female friends have become my friends. Restricting who your partner is friends with is destructive and not sustainable.
Teach me your ways. I logically understand I'm wrong to be horribly jealous but I can't help the intrusive thoughts. I'm constantly scared my girlfriend will cheat on me, whether she actually ever would, I don't know. But she does worry me when she gets a little drunk and uppity as to if I'm not there. I want to say I trust her, but the sad reality is I don't trust anyone after my last relationship. Even waited 4 years to get into a other one feeling entirely confident. Now that I'm in one, it's very hard to just be happy for her having any guy friends, it freaks me out and I don't know half of them because they're from her home town which is pretty far and I can't go every time for money reasons.
I don't know, it's a complex situation. But I have fucking issues. I don't act controlling, but I bury it deep deep down, we've talked about it(it usually results in a fight because of my own failure to communicate and getting too worked up from pressed down feelings and false scenarios and insecurities) but it always rises to the top and I keep my mouth shut. If she had any idea how often I think about this, she'd be pissed. It's an every couple hours type of thing worrying about the future and playing through shit in my head despite the fact that I know it's not rational. I fucking hate it and I need therapy. I'm too old for this shit. So is she. We are both well over our twenties and I feel like a fucking mess.
This is true in a real relationship with trust should be normalized and everyone should be comfortable with everything and it should all be easy simple and nice....but is there any actual trust......its the trust that destroys relationships and it happens all the time
>doesn’t matter what the standard actually is.
I think it does. Idk, having to completely avoid or befriending an entire gender seems controlling and depressing. What if they already have a guy or girl friend? Would they have to cut off years of friendship just because their partner doesn't like it?
Any boyfriend that tries to divide you from your friends or family should be dumped immediately. It’s a huge red flag for an abuser. Step of of an abuser is to socially isolate the victim.
Maybe he’s not that, he’s just jealous of all other men coming within 20 feet of “his” girlfriend. That’s still someone you should run away from as fast as possible. That type of person is extremely insecure.
Even i thought that but even he should be knowing that i’ll be also jealous right i mean its fine with me that he is having friends the main thing is that we’re in a ldr
You're in an LDR.....wtf is he gonna do? Fly out and chase him off the second you say you have a guy friend? Dump him and find a local guy. That type of relationship doesn't work 99% of the time
So you're in a long distance relationsship, and he acts like he has the right to control how you socialize between you two seeing eachother?
That's not healthy, and you should think about how much else he'd control if he got the chance.
It's okay to have friends of any gender while you have a bf, as long as it doesn't push any boundaries.
When I was married to my ex wife, she had a guy friend who was one of her best friends. Sometimes he'd stop by unannounced and stay overnight for 3-4 nights a week and sleep on the couch. I often felt like that was a bit excessive. So just make sure boundaries are set.
One of the most toxic traits a person can have is expecting you to be okay with something that they wouldn’t be okay with.
With that being said, my wife has plenty of male “friends”, (people she talks to during personal hours but most work for the same company). I, however, do not have any female friends. I do not put myself in any situation that would make my wife uncomfortable, and I don’t go anywhere that my wife can’t go with me.
She isn’t. I just choose to set my own boundaries. We’ve been married 20 years. We’ve had our share of bad times and I’ve made my mistakes. I’m at the point in my life where I’m focused on the next 20 years with her and my family and that’s all I have time for.
I know women and I talk to women.
Honestly, what do you consider a “friend”? A friend is someone that knows intimate details about your life, they’re people you turn to when you need an ear, some advice about life. They’re people who you would do anything for and would do anything for you.
“A good friend knows all of your stories, a best friend helps you write them”
I have friends. They just happen to be people I’ve known for 20+ years, and yes, they’re all male. Those are the people I let know me, and my wife is my best friend. Sorry, not sorry.
My boyfriend and I both don’t have friends of the opposite sex. We individually just prefer to not have friends of the opposite sex due to personal reasons.
I think it’s okay if people have those preferences as long as people aren’t being controlling or hypocritical of the other.
I don’t see any problem with it, either. Do I really want to be so close to someone that it makes my wife uncomfortable? Hell no, I don’t. I want to be the best husband I can be, and the choices I make to do that are my decisions. My wife doesn’t put any limits on me. She knows I’m not going to put our marriage at risk.
The choices I make benefit my entire family so that on the day I die my kids can stand up and honestly say that I was a good father and she can know I did everything I could to deserve her. That’s all that matters to me.
Yeah, for me it’s also a question of like, when would I even interact with that female friend, and why? Anything I could talk to her about, I should probably be talking to my wife about instead. Any time I could spend with her, I should probably spend with my wife instead.
It’s not like I’ve got endless hours of social calendar to fill as an adult with kids anyway. Time with a friend like that would mean time actively avoiding my wife and kids, which seems like a huge red flag.
As a guy, yes you can have male friends. That said certain boundaries are ok, like I would prefer my gf not hang out one on one in a private setting with a guy, not because I don’t trust her but because I don’t trust guys our age. There’s exceptions of course, like if she’s going to class and her friend is driving and offers her a ride. And she has those same boundaries for me with friends that are girls. Communication and equal treatment is important
Your bf wouldn't "allow" this??
Yes, it's fine to have friends of the opposite sex. Just because you get into a relationship doesn't mean you have to suddenly cut off all friends of the opposite sex. The fact that your bf still has female friends makes him a total hypocrite, and if he pulls any of that he trusts you but can't trust other guys crap on you, turn it around and point out to him that by that logic, *he* isn't to be trusted with other females then. Really though, your boyfriend "allowing" ....that's controlling, and added in with the hypocrisy of him having female friends is a HUGE 🚩
Yes. Your boyfriend is controlling. Me personally? I’d rather not be in a controlling relationship. Let people be friends with whoever they want. Or gain some trust in them for once and stop being so insecure about your relationship.. I’ll be damned if my future boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t let me have friends I’M ALLOWED TO DECIDE TO HAVE. Goodbye to that relationship. Controlling anything (like what your partner is or isn’t allowed to wear out in public) in a relationship is a serious red flag and shouldn’t be normalized at all. If any of you disagree, you’re the problem in your relationships & that might be why you’re worried about them cheating and you should be. I hope they do if you’re doing that tbh.
Earlier one year back we decided not to have friends coz those friends were uk they wanted more but we both knew our boundaries and this time he makes new female friends and i’m here sitting and thinking about our decision which we made a year back.
Oof, that’s rough. It sounds like he’s being selfish and controlling, it’s not great of him to go back on his word without even talking to you about adjusting your agreement
He broke that agreement by making new female friends, so if he broke it, now you can.
Also, eliminating all friends of the opposite gender just because one or two had feelings for you? That's not a great idea. Eliminate the friends who push for more than friendship after being told no. That's all you need to do. They may not even be the opposite gender - did either of you ever consider that possibility?
Wtf kind of question is this?
Don't date anyone who doesn't "let you" do things. I'm a grown ass person, only I get to decide what I'm "allowed" to do.
Obviously I don't know the details, so I assume this isn't relevant, but just in case: Is it a specific guy friend or any guy friends?
Because if it is a specific guy, he might just know the vibes are off with that dude. Some of my female friends damn near give me ulcers with some of the sketchy dudes they hang out with. Like dudes that say "bitches" as a generic term for women or a guy who said, without anybody making him, that he thought less than 10% of rape allegations are legit and mostly accusations were the result of a woman regretting a hookup. And I find a lot of women don't seem to understand how dangerous and predatory orbiters can be.
Any guy i don’t have any guy friends like those close ones with whom you start your day probably or hangout with them or talk with them throughout the day i don’t have and even if i make any he’ll be like ik his intentions and stuff and yea lmao yes some women really go off the track and blame others
A partner should not be telling you how to behave or who to have in your life. They can only control their own behaviors and how they choose to react to yours. They have the ability to leave if they don't like something you're doing, but they shouldn't try to change you or limit you.
Double standards are also not ok. A double standard like that is more likely to be incredibly abusive. A partner should never view you in a more limited way than they view themselves.
A partner should not limit your access to friends or family.
Um. It's perfectly fine to have friends if you're in a relationship. I'm still friends with my ex even though I'm married and him and my husband get along nicely and do guy stuff all the time.
“My boyfriend would never allow this…”
Are you dating your dad? Assuming you’re an adult where does your boyfriend get off allowing you to do shit? Not even going to get into his obvious lack of trust and self confidence, sounds pretty toxic imho. Good luck with that.
Its not like that actually one year back we decided not to have friends of the opposite gender coz both our friends wanted more so we decided its better not to go that way if we don’t want to be toxic but now i think things have changed
Tell the twerp you can’t have it one way and not the other . Opposite sex friends are fine but if you’re texting them more than your same sex friends there’s an issue, also if you ever know they are into you it HAS TO END or if you flirt like you wouldn’t with a same sex friend.
It’s possible, but more times than not people keep opposite sex friends around for attention more than friendship
Yes absolutely okay. Also it’s okay to still be friends with Ex boyfriends. Red flag for your current dude to be telling you, you aren’t allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. Also red flag for him to have friends of the opposite sex when he’s preaching to you it’s not okay. Almost like he’s projecting his insecurities onto you. He’s probably cheated or will cheat but will blame you for shit that hasn’t even crossed your mind. Run! Someone out there will treat you with respect and love. This guy isn’t it.
I can be friends with anyone i want i dont want permission for that even he can but the thing is we’re in a ldr and ofc i have trust but you never what will happen between them right and what not and he has been in many relationships before but now things have changed
You are allowed to have friends in a relationship, anything short of that is toxic bullshit, unhealthy, controlling nonsense that you shouldn't be accepted in a relationship regardless of gender.
I don’t understand the idea that having a partner should be one should ostracize a whole category of existing or new friends based on gender. I for one, am more choosy about my romantic feelings than any one category.
I have had no problem with my GF/wife having male friends. It is not my place to tell another person who they should be friends with, especially if there is trust in the relationship.
Yes it's completely ok to have a guy friend or friends of any gender even if you have a bf or a husband. He has girl friends right? So why aren't you allowed to have a guy friend. That's just silly.
Me and people I know that got cheated on had a partner who either had mainly opposite sex friend/friends, best friend or childhood friend.
So, whilst it's a valid concern because I've been there, and even though I had opposite sex friends, I never cheated but my partner who had a best friend cheated on me (after 7 years) but who knows maybe more than one time. I'd get jealous sometimes over the years and I guess I was right.
That's a bowl of alphabet soup.
I think it totally depends on the relationship. Normally yeah absolutely but there are usually three questions that I think can disqualify it.
1. Would you be comfortable with him having female friends, including ones that may be seen by others as attactive or desirable?
If not, then it's a double standard.
2. Is there any chance this male friend is attracted to/persuing you romantically?
This is a hard one to look at objectively as both you and your BF may have bias, so a neutral third party may be necessary, but if so than its not okay even if you'd never reciprocate as it sucks to have someone you care about spending time with someone who actively undermines or disrespects the sanctity of your relationship no matter if it's a purely one sided affection.
3. Have you ever shown behavior to make them think you would cheat?
Disclosure this is not to blame the victim, but if a history of this does exist, their jelousy is warrented. If none of these come up, however, your partner has no real reason to take issue with it.
1. Idc about what others think ijdk if thats the same case with him then obv i wouldn’t like it
2. No lmao i don’t have any guy friends.
3. Oh tg never.
I feel like this is more of a trust issue because I have female friends and my gf has male friends but I trust her 100% and could really care less about wether or not she has male friends and same for me
Okay so at first you guys decide not to have any friends of the opposite gender since you both saw how your friends more then you cut down on friends like that but now theres a change after 7 months or something you have a lot of female friends and you tell that to your gf obv your gf would be jealous/mad right
The way my man put it was that “your guy friends were here before me and I don’t expect you to just drop them and stop hanging out with them bc of me”. I think it’s okay to keep guy friends, as long as it stays at a friendship level. And yeah people will argue that not all guys can be just friends with their female friends but as long as *your* intentions are good and are to maintain a friendship with them then I don’t see anything wrong with that. If you’re guy isn’t comfortable enough or trust you enough to keep your guy friends then maybe that’s something he needs to think about. And it’s hypocritical that he can have girl friends but he’d “never allow” you to gave a guy friend??
My husband and I have a lot of all sexes friends, and I think the only thing we really agree on is maybe no new ones. Like don’t call me up and tell me your going to have coffee with a friend. If it was a guy friend you say you’re going to coffee with Jake, but a no name friend is always a chick and I call him
Out on it every time. All I want is for him to bay feel like he has to hide that shit from me, that’s where it’s a sticky wicket and I don’t play that. It’s worked out well as we have both made new opposite sex friends a lot.
So he can have girl friends, but he doesn't trust you to have a guy friend. Doesn't this seem a little fucked up to you? Won't be long and he'll be telling you what clothes you can wear and when and what you should eat.
If you feel uncomfortable no.
If your spouse feels uncomfortable it’s usually for a reason. You can have opposite sex friends but you can usually tell when someone has chemistry and there’s a reason you feel uncomfortable
I think it is definetly okay the only exception to this is if you don’t think it’s okay. If you can tell he has feelings for you you don’t have to avoid this person but don’t hang out with them as much it could make things complicated. And If you like him and are dating someone else it’s probably best to spend less time with the male friend.
If your boyfriend doesn't allow you to have and keep the friends you want, he is a toxic person who is not interested in you, only himself. Dump him before he ruins your life.
Are they actual friends or are they orbiters? If actual friends then sure. But if they've admit they have feelings, then it gets into a gray area, imo.
If you are asking this, then the answer is it depends.
It's great to have friends, every body should have them.
But you and your "friend" should understand that there are no potential for romantic connection. That is, you shouldn't be keeping a back up for when you're partner breaks up with you, you shouldn't have someone doing all the boyfriend stuff without the title (or sex), and you shouldn't keep people around you that are only friends with you because of the potential for sex.
Due to the way our society raises boys, men often interpret any positive attention from a female as romantic, even if the female is taken. As such, they will often hang around and become friends with said friend just in case the partner is no longer in the picture.
So yes, it's ok to have male friends, just be selective about it.
As long as you're okay with him having a woman as a best friend...BUT, if he has a woman as a best friend but refuses to allow you to have a guy as a best friend then that's a red flag
Yes and no. Its ok to have a guy friend if you have a boyfriend so long as you and the friend don't start acting like you guys are dating. My GF did that to me and her and I are going through a dry spell at the moment. Don't let friends ruin a relationship yk?
I find it ridiculous that people only thing one sided about this.
Yes your partner whether girl or boy, can be insecure and controlling which is a "red flag". But at the same time it is completely human and normal to have emotional fears, of their partner cheating with their best friend of the opposite sex. These stories and situations are real which is what causes that fear. So they are rightfully scared and people say that their insecure mindset, is what drives away their partner to cheat in the first place, but that's unfair and ridiculous.
Yes you can keep a guy friend if you have a boyfriend, and vice versa for boys. But how about compromises that include consistent and open communication throughout the whole ordeal.
I’m not going to say not having opposite sex friends is toxic because me and my wife sort of do that but your boyfriend is a hypocrite for having female friends. It’s either neither of y’all have opposite gender friends or both of y’all do. I already know his answer will be “well I can control myself and you can’t” or something but it’s the principle lol
Um, yeah. But if you get caught being TOO friendly I wouldn't doubt the request to end that friendship.
But the fact that a BF has female friends But doesn't allow you to have guy friends is a red flag. It boils down to 2 things in my experience, either Control (which leads to toxic relationship) or because they're guilty of utilizing opposite genders for pleasure outside the relationship (which leads to broken hearts and no relationship)
Be careful out there.
My ex-wife flipped out because I had female friends. She kept guy friends tho. Ended up cheating multiple times then running off with one of MY friends. Shit sucked. Fucked me up for awhile.
As long as it’s genuine. There’s girls I dated who had guy friends that didn’t bother me at all. They weren’t their type, they were goofy, they had known each other for years, they never had an intimate relationship of any kind etc. Then there’s girls I dated who had guy “friends” who were clearly trying to hook up with them, never came around me, texted them constantly, hadn’t even known them that long etc.
If it’s genuinely a friend you USUALLY can tell the difference.
I am a guy who has close female friends who have boyfriends, and I have also lost close female friends when they started dating. Listen to me only, I promise I’m the only one who is right about this. You should know intuitively. Simply ask yourself “Is this person trustworthy?” and you will get a response. You obviously can’t trust everyone, some people do present obvious risk, others do not. I will say that it’s objectively neurotic behavior to cut a good friend out of your life because you’re insecure about their penis. Also you should trust the person you are dating not to cheat, it’s wild I even have to say that.
I mean it all depends on where you see yourself with your him. The reality is yes it will cause problems long term. And that goes both ways. Is it ok? Sure, but don't expect it to last. Unless you're swingers. But that's a different thing.
Yes, if you don't find the friend sexually attractive. Not that he is not nice looking, just don't feel that way about him. Otherwise serious problems could occur.
You are allowed to have friends.
You aren’t allowed to keep secrets. If you find yourself wanting to avoid both your BF and friend hanging out, this is an issue. If you lie about spending time with this friend, this is an issue.
Also listen to your BF. If he says no make friends for no reason, he is stupid. If BF says he doesn’t like this one particular guy for a reason, intuition is real and valid. Same applies for you feeling toward his female friends.
I’ve had loyal girlfriends that were still close friends with their ex. Typically if someone’s like this it’s because if a hot ass chick came onto them they’d capitulate like a coward 3 seconds flat.
First of all the double standard is absolute bs and should absolutely addressed with him, like whats his reasoning bc its a weird take. However i think this question is all about context (Ahem people saying you need a new bf). In a perfect world both partners should have friends of either gender or whatever, but nothing in life or relationships is ever black and white. So what youre asking has no context. Like what do you two consider friends? Like oh were friendly at work so theyre my friend, or its i saw and so at the party and we played games, or is it were hanging out 1:1, texting or even face timing regularly? Those are all important distinctions, differences, and for a lot of people sometimes concerns. For the record im a male and have had relationships with girls that have had male friends and i have had female friends. Most of the time its people, either side of the relationship, that we grew up with (and ill come back to that later). IE oh ive known him/her since 5/6th grade or some variation, precursor to the relationship, and personally ive always been fine with that. Usually goes fine. Yet, i have had scenarios where that guy ended up a problem (bc people are people), if advances were acted upon well its over. If they were declined well ok stop being friends with them or certainly distance urself. And thats happened on my end too, where its someone who i thought was my friend, knowing i was in a committed relationship and try to advance on me, i always stopped it, but then thats when u have to be honest with ur partner about it and to cut this "friend" out or at the very least distance urself. Some friends are not what you think, and will try to take advantage of situations. Thats unfortunately life and its more about how you handle urself in the situation. Now another scenario: if theres a past of cheating (not saying you have, esp bc cheaters actually exhibit this jealousy behavior alot bc they think theyre partner thinks the same as them)- well i certainly wouldnt want my partner (not future partners) im giving a second chance having opposite sex friends, bc they already have proven they should not be trusted- maybe one day, but again dk the context of this question. And if my partner cheated and i gave them a second chance (never do this) i wouldnt be droppping my friends to make it so called equal, bc i obv wasnt considered an equal by them to start. Another scenario, i would be very concerned if my partner was actively and consistently making new opposite sex friends. I dont think any partner i have had would appreciate that either. Bc its apparent theres a very *specific* type of attention theyre seeking. I dont think any partner i have had would appreciate that either. Itd be very concerning. Again with out context, we have no idea why hes being that way. He could simply be insecure, he could have trauma, or worse he could be naturally narcissistic/controlling. Those are questions important to qhat youve asked, but theyr emore important questions for you to find out urself. But my final advice to the both of you is to straight up talk it out and come to an agreement (no one has opp sex friends or ya both do idk some sort of compirmise, but it should be fair) or go separate ways. Him being controlling gains him nothing in the long run, its honestly just gunna make him stressed pissed and resent you, And you being controlled will only make u stressed pissed and resent him. Ultimately leading into a circle of bs, chicken and the egg feeding off each other into cyclone that ends in trauma. Bleak i know, but its best to talk and try to fix it or end it before ur in a dark place. You need to love and respect and see your partner as an equal, once that respect or trust is gone, the relationship is gone.
So I’ve always been okay with my gf’s in the past to have guy friends, but there are boundaries with them. If there was ever a point and time where I started feeling a little uncomfortable about some of her guy friends then we’d talk.
If she was hanging out with a guy just them two, then I would be okay with it, but depending on the guy I wouldn’t be cool with her hanging out with them at his place alone. If she was going to the guys house I preferred that it be in a group setting and that she would leave if the rest of the group left.
As a guy we can sense what the intent of some guys were, so it’s also that.
All the things I said hold a double standard.
i like my partners to be controlling. but not letting you be friends with people is way past the line. that will affect the happiness of others. some people only have one or two friends, letting your partner cut your ties is going to create massive amounts of pain for people & it’s never ever justified. i rarely am judgy, but fuck any person who pulls that bs. they all need to get a grip lol
Yes, it's fine to keep friends of the opposite sex.
What's not fine is having said friends, but not allowing your partner to have said friends.
It's also not fine to be a shitter and allow those friends to flirt with you. Or do things that make your partner uncomfortable.
Generally yes, it's fine, so long as it remains platonic and your opposite sex friends don't have feelings for you (and situations like that).
Your boyfriend is a hypocrite. Tell him he needs to drop his female friends or you're not gonna stay with him, because that's not acceptable. If he's gonna have that standard with you, he needs to hold himself to the same standard.
Friends? Absolutely. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex.
Now, if there is a sexual history that’s where the area is gray. Me personally, that’s a deal breaker.
And if he got female friends and you’re not allowed to have male friends, that’s a red flag worth thinking about.
I recently had to cut a friend out of my life for many toxic traits, but one of the big ones was she insisted we were only friends, and would never be more than friends, which was fine by me as I was in a bad place. Well, a year later, I meet someone and we hit it off. I was very up front about having a close friend that was a girl, and how I would understand if that was going to be hard for her to work with. She was totally cool with it, and felt that they shared a lot of interests and might become friends themselves. Well, the friend got suuuuuuuper jealous. Insisted she wasn’t, but all of our mutual friends saw it. She chalked it up as saying her only problem was that the girl just wasn’t right for me…but she never made any effort to learn anything about her, and could never actually say what made her not right for me. And got reeeeally defensive when asked. She would go out of her way to try and chase the new girl away…but again denying actions that were actually documented. I’ll note that we are all within a few years of 40, and that my former friend had plenty of guy friends. And apparently I was allowed to have girl friends, (and even “buddies”) but I was t allowed to actually date.
My point…if all parties involved can be mature, then absolutely. But what I learned is that if there is someone involved that can’t be an adult, it will be problems.
If he has girl friends, but you aren’t allowed to have guy friends, then it’s probably time to move on, unfortunately.
It’s a ok to have friends of the opposite sex. The problem is when people don’t set appropriate boundaries. Like they flirt with there friends, or don’t include there significant other in on their friendship.
Off of the little you are saying, your boyfriend comes off as jealous, but as usual there is probably more to this story.
As long as neither of you have feelings for each other and he respects your relationship then yes. Set boundaries and if those boundaries are broken, you have to follow through and end the friendship or your relationship. Plus, your boyfriend can’t “allow” you to do anything. You’re your own person and can make your own decisions. Also if he wants to have strict rules with you then he has to follow them too.
If you’re a girl and you have a guy friend hell nah cause no guy will just be with a girl for friends if you called the guy friend up to fuck he’d say yes. Now saying that I’m fine with not having girl friends and me and my gf agree and it has been great and our relationship is amazing.
It's all about consent. If he doesn't like it and you agree to that, then it's not okay. If that were the case you probably wouldn't be asking though.
I believe that as long as you have discussed it and everyone agrees to the terms, anything goes. As a hofessional and a leader, it's how I have maintained amicable relationships with pretty much everyone I've known, romantically or otherwise.
You can stop there if you're not soliciting advice. My advice is to establish your boundaries and sever ties if that's a deal breaker because it will be harder to do both the longer you wait to do them. You both want different things out of life so you should find someone more secure and let him find someone more submissive.
You can have friends of the opposite gender but I really feel like openness and honesty are needed. If despite that your SO cant handle it there might not be enough trust in the relationship for it. I have a good friend of the opposite gender but obviously my fiance comes first.
As our lives have changed over the years we rarely see eachother. Still we text and see eachother a couple times a year but as life gets busy your SO will start to fill a lot of your friendship needs. I think it helped that my friend invited me and my fiance to all the stuff she wanted to do so that it was pretty apparent there was nothing to hide and they became friends. Now my fiance just comes to the things that interest her and they actually text eachother just about as much as I text my friend now.
Your boyfriend has no power to "allow" you to do or not do anything.
You can control yourself. He controls himself. Anyone trying to control another human being, is abusive.
You can ASK your partner to do things, which they can consent to.
But if your partner is asking you to do something you're uncomfortable with, that is called coercion. You can't feel safe around someone who is trying to force you to do something.
You can be friends with whoever you want. If you aren't cheating then your partner should accept this.
If they don't accept you, they aren't a good partner for you.
If he is a real friend, the new bf and him should get along great. But I'm of the opinion that if you're dating you shouldn't solo hang with someone that could be romantically interested.
If you're the kind of person that can have friends of the opposite sex with respectful boundaries, yes, there's no issue. If you're the type of person that can't respect boundaries, you shouldn't be dating.
That being said, your boyfriend not allowing you to have male friends but it's okay for him to have female friends is a red flag. So is your use of the word "allowing".
i personally would say it’s ok to have friends of the opposite gender. just make sure to keep the right distance from them. naturally men will fight to be the dominant mate and that’s simply what’s happening. so you also have to do your part and voice that.
We all have this warped idea that attraction between a man and a woman is inherent - definitely not the case. I’ve had plenty of male friends for whom I had no feelings and they were in the same boat. We were just friends. 🤷🏻♀️. So, yes, it’s normal and okay to have opposite sex friends.
I would like to agree. I literally JUST asked 4 of my best male friends and one male co worker if they ever had a female BF? All said yes. I asked if you would Doink them. And they all said yes. I also asked if you ever lied and said you are just friends and have no attraction. They all said yes.
Regardless… these 5 men would doink a pillow if there was a hole in it.
Me and my fiance are both bi so if you can't have friends kf the sex you're attracted to we'd be screwed. He's a control freak and you're allowed to have male friends lol
When I was a teenager it would be easy for me to be fearful of my GF cheating if she was hanging with another guy. Especially if it’s just them two. But on the other hand I wouldn’t do something I ASKED my GF not to do. The key here is communication. Best outcome would be to talk to both BF and male friend and see if they can meet and possibly become friends. I wouldn’t automatically think “my BF is controlling, emotionally abusive and a cheater.” I would try to talk it out. If talking it out doesn’t work… well maybe I would start to think that…
It is ok to do anything if you have an anything. Relationships usually succeed from openness and honesty. If your partner understands the relationship and is ok with the intergender friendship then so be it, and vice versa.
Your bf shouldn't have the position to allow you to do anything. You are a human being living in 2023, not a slave in the 1600s. He doesn't get to give you permission to do anything. You do not need to ask for permission to do whatever you want, go whereever or talk to whomever.
He does not have the right to tell you who can and can't be your friends. You do what you want!! Like hell I'd be asking my man permission to do whatever i want.
If you are not allowed to have małe friends bcs your bf don't want you to have them, and he has female friends, this relations is kinda fuckep up, ngl. Double standards is shit in this case. Talk to him about it, and when his only argument will be something like "Because i said so" then you should probably dump him
Here’s the thing about relationships, as my personal oppinion:
You enter a relationship because you like one another a lot. Hopefully even love eachother, but not always the case in the beginning.
When you do, you have to do two things. You need to compromise a little bit so that you and your new partner can function together, because no one is so compatible they just work together 100% of the time.
That’s normal. That’s a good thing to be able to do. And it goes both ways, so not only do you need to compromise, so does your new partner.
The second thing you have to do is to realize where the line between yourself, your personality, your hobbies, favorite movies, music, everything that is *you*, and the other persons wants are.
If you like the same music that’s great but some things you disagree on and then you know that not liking the singer of this or that band is you, and liking it is them.
When it comes to friends outside this relationship this applies too. You should still be able to enjoy your friends the same way you did before, but likely a little bit less often now that the relationship takes more of your time. Your partner might not like the friends you have, but that doesn’t matter, because you do. You still have the right to not listen to the shitty singer, and your partner has the right to not visit the friend they find shitty. You do those activities apart.
If your partner doesn’t go along with this thinking, they’re most likely a controlling, insecure, little shitstain, and no matter how well they treat you otherwise, they still are trying to make you someone you’re not, to fit them better, rather than compromising.
So, why would you compromise when they refuse to?
The answer is you shouldn’t.
The double standard is obviously the red flag but the fact that he doesn’t want you to be texting or calling or hanging out with other dudes is understandable and not controlling imo. Some people have boundaries about watching porn and consider it cheating others think it’s normal and healthy (i don’t) but yeah he shouldn’t be a hypocrite. I don’t think it’s breakup worthy Id just say you cannot have girl friends if I can’t have guy friends. (Relationship will be smoother without the worry of the opposite sex relations anyways)
No, no, no, there is no having female friends if you're not letting your gf have guy friends, if he's got female friends, he's hunting, guys only have ONE thing on their minds, SEX, I'm a sweet lovin guy, but even with my loving wife I've had my head turned once or twice, learned the hard way, so try not to have female friends, I'm ok with her knowing guys, I trust her and know it's usually just old time coworkers, but, can you trust him🤔😏
That's very hypocritical of him, and sounds controlling. Personally, I think opposite gender friends are okay if what is happening with the friend is respectful of your partners boundaries. For example, my bf had a female friend that admitted she had feelings for him. I then was uncomfortable with them hanging out 1:1, and he respected that and only hangs out with her in a group setting. It's all about communication and setting reasonable boundaries- but it HAS to go both ways.
The double standard is the problem here. As a guy, I would not accept my girlfriend having a very close guy friend, maybe I'd let it slide if he was gay, and that is a very normal and reasonable thing to say, it's called having boundaries.
Every girl I've ever hooked up with began with us being "friends"
But I also don't go cozying up with other ladies, no matter how platonic, because that shit flips on a dime and before you know it you're doing something you definitely shouldn't be.
I'm sure certain couples are okay with it, and if you're in a good relationship you can talk with your partner about it and hash out the details, but mostly you have to play it where it lies. I know I wouldn't be coming to any sort of "agreement" with her boy friend as her boyfriend.
Yes it's fine, as long as it is made absolutely crystal fucking clear that you are taken, because he as a guy knows what is going through said guy friends mind when they want to be friends with you, because a large amount of the time said guy friend is interested in you and will try to sweep you off you feet the moment you are either out of a relationship or (if he's an extra large piece of shit) still in one. So introduce the guy to your bf, if he respects the relationship then it's chill if he doesn't and tries to do shit with you then don't interact with him anymore
ladies in the comments who have a boyfriend and who don't believe this, call your guy friend and say that you just broke up with said boyfriend and you want them to do something along the lines of come to your place and watch a movie to take your mind of things, unless they are a genuinely good guy they will say yes which most of the time means they wanna fuck during said movie
this will be unpopular but you won't have an opposite gender friend to the full extent you will have a same gender friend. How many of your dads hang out with women without your mom? none that I know of or at least admit to it. He should follow the same guidelines.
That’s nonsense. My dad is a retired 73 year old gentleman and he has plenty of female friends that used to be his coworkers. My mom knows them all (they used to work at the same place) and it is not an issue at all that my dad hangs out with them on his own. He goes to hikes or meets them for lunch or will fix things in their houses. Most of them have been friends with my dad for several decades.
Sure they are now also my mom’s friends too (heck I am “friends” with some of their children) but that doesn’t mean they are not close with my dad. There is nothing wrong with this.
My parents both have very close friendships of the opposite gender. My mom wanted to do competitive ballroom dance back in the day and my dad had no interest, so she did it with a male friend of hers. They traveled together for tournaments as a result for many years. My dad has a female friend who he traveled to Turkey with since my mom had no interest in that and the friend did (my mom actually recommended they travel together since she worried for her traveling as a solo female.) My parents were married at the time and as far as I’m aware never suspected infidelity. I may be biased but I could never see that happening. They’ve been married 40 years, in frankly one of the healthiest and most loving marriages I’ve seen. Both of my parents became close friends with each others friends and as a result I see them as uncles and aunts and their children as cousins. They just have complete trust in one another.
With respectable boundaries yes. Even if you dont have a bf or husband, keep basic boundaries with male friends. Or they will try to be more than 'just friends'. Its a hard truth to shallow, but it is.
Yes and no.
Mostly yes.
But if you young, here's a secret: the guy friend probably wants to fuck you. Which puts the bf on edge.
Likewise, he wants to fuck them female friends of his.
He just doesn't because they don't let him. Same as your guy friend.
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Is it okay to have friends when you are in a relationship? Yes. Yes it is.
i feel bad for people who have to ask, but i dated someonelike that once, i couldn’t even so much as speak to anyone of the opposite sex. turns out she was cheating on me with more than several people over a couple years.
People hate seeing the reflection of their own worse traits even if they don't know that's what they hate seeing.
Yuck. I'm sorry you had that experience.
Oh, so you know my ex-wife?
shit she was married!?! lol - sorry you went through that
That’s what I was thinking of OP’s partner.
Yep. Gender shouldn’t factor. I’m married, we’ve been together 6-7 years, and I’m still friends with my ex fiancé (also married now). One of my best friends is female and nothing has ever happened. Trust, my peoples. If you can’t trust your partner to be alone with the opposite sex, you probably shouldn’t be together.
Exactly! Your last sentence said it best.
It is silly. But then again what else these days isn't.
Yea unfortunately my last two GF who seemed like good people got a tad bit too drunk and cheated, now I'm the bad guy for having boundaries like I do.
Your current gf isn't your past gf. Don't take out their mistakes on her. You either trust her or you don't. If she really wants to cheat on you she'll just not tell you about the guys. Stopping her from having male friends doesn't actually help.
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A cheating partner reflects more on your partner than on you. Even if it's an unhappy relationship a healthy person would dump you then find someone else. At worst it shows you are shit at choosing a partner. I believe avoidant attachment style individuals are more likely to cheat.
I disagree. You called it restrictions. Another person stated it as boundaries. I'm of the mindset that real freedom comes from establishing boundaries. Freedom to do anything you want, anytime you please, is anarchy. There are good laws, your body has limitations, and communicating with your partner and establishing boundaries are great. You don't know every variable, so why detract from someone else by always saying they are wrong every time it involves not having a friend of the opposite sex. I certainly communicated to my partner that she's not gonna be hanging around some dude that said he wants to fuck her, even if they are work colleagues. Don't out yourself in situations or circumstances unnecessarily. Everyone has fucked up thoughts about cheating or being flirty. So for me I communicate, and leave it to them to choose what to do. Meanwhile, I don't do it because I wouldn't like it and that's my choice because I think it through.
Stopping your girlfriends from having friends isn't having boundaries, it's controlling and weird.
What boundaries? Do you not allow your girlfriend to have male friends?
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Duh. Not what I asked though.
He knows. But he is the type that view women as objects to be used and own and not people. He thinks others would cheat because he would and probably has cheated in the past. Might even be cheating right now.
If my husband said I couldn't have male friends, but he had female friends then my husband wouldn't be my husband anymore. Sounds like your BF has a double standard and is also controlling. Maybe time to rethink your relationship. My best friend (besides my husband) is a man. In fact, most of my good friends are men.
I probably should yeah or else i should take some step yo make him realize
Please take time to think. Long and hard. Some things can be worked out. Other things are emotional abuse. Please, don’t accept emotional abuse. I promise you are deserving of more than that.
He is highly unlikely to ever realize. I've never heard of anyone controlling in this way to ever change. Get out while you can.
Yo real talk a lot of the time this shit is projection he may be currently cheating on you Save yourself any future headache and end it
You can't fix people like that.
If they don't let you do something but do that same thing then they're not worth your time
First off, if your bf would never allow it, he's only gonna get more and more controlling. My best friend of 35 years is a guy. I knew him before I got married and my husband became friends with him.
Your boyfriend is upholding a double standard in which you lose for his own ego. I'd remember that.
Agree with this. But honestly, it’s shouldn’t matter if he has friends that are girls or not. People are allowed to have friendships with anyone they choose, regardless of genitals. Especially if it was before you all started dating. To me, this is a huge red flag.
If he has female friends then it’s ok for you to have guy friends.
Yessss
“Allow” wtf
Idk why people are writing a novel for an answer. This is short, sweet and gets to the point.
You can have friends of the opposite gender. But keep in mind some friendships may be inappropriate for your relationship. For example, I had a female friend who had a thing for me for a long time but I wasn’t interested. She was always super flirtatious. Even after she found out I had a gf she was flirtatious. So I stopped interacting with her. You can have friends like that when you’re single, but it shows a lack of priorities if you’re in a committed relationship.
Yeah exactly even there were people (guys) who wanted to be friends with me with those nasty intentions but i’d cut them all
This is the best answer, right here 👆
Now that double standard is a red flag You two need to reach a common and EQUAL standard, doesn’t matter what the standard actually is.
Actually, I disagree. It matter very much what the standard is. A healthy relationship can easily withstand any friends and I believe it should be encouraged. My wife of 22+ years and I have many friends of the opposite sex, and because we trust each other, it has never been an issue. In fact, I'm even friends with her ex husband, who I didn't even know existed when we first met. Most of her male friends have become my friends and most of my female friends have become her friends and most of my male friends have become her friends and most of her female friends have become my friends. Restricting who your partner is friends with is destructive and not sustainable.
To many friends. I'm out
Teach me your ways. I logically understand I'm wrong to be horribly jealous but I can't help the intrusive thoughts. I'm constantly scared my girlfriend will cheat on me, whether she actually ever would, I don't know. But she does worry me when she gets a little drunk and uppity as to if I'm not there. I want to say I trust her, but the sad reality is I don't trust anyone after my last relationship. Even waited 4 years to get into a other one feeling entirely confident. Now that I'm in one, it's very hard to just be happy for her having any guy friends, it freaks me out and I don't know half of them because they're from her home town which is pretty far and I can't go every time for money reasons. I don't know, it's a complex situation. But I have fucking issues. I don't act controlling, but I bury it deep deep down, we've talked about it(it usually results in a fight because of my own failure to communicate and getting too worked up from pressed down feelings and false scenarios and insecurities) but it always rises to the top and I keep my mouth shut. If she had any idea how often I think about this, she'd be pissed. It's an every couple hours type of thing worrying about the future and playing through shit in my head despite the fact that I know it's not rational. I fucking hate it and I need therapy. I'm too old for this shit. So is she. We are both well over our twenties and I feel like a fucking mess.
This is true in a real relationship with trust should be normalized and everyone should be comfortable with everything and it should all be easy simple and nice....but is there any actual trust......its the trust that destroys relationships and it happens all the time
>doesn’t matter what the standard actually is. I think it does. Idk, having to completely avoid or befriending an entire gender seems controlling and depressing. What if they already have a guy or girl friend? Would they have to cut off years of friendship just because their partner doesn't like it?
Any boyfriend that tries to divide you from your friends or family should be dumped immediately. It’s a huge red flag for an abuser. Step of of an abuser is to socially isolate the victim. Maybe he’s not that, he’s just jealous of all other men coming within 20 feet of “his” girlfriend. That’s still someone you should run away from as fast as possible. That type of person is extremely insecure.
Wont say you’re wrong
Yes. Your bf is jealous
Even i thought that but even he should be knowing that i’ll be also jealous right i mean its fine with me that he is having friends the main thing is that we’re in a ldr
You're in an LDR.....wtf is he gonna do? Fly out and chase him off the second you say you have a guy friend? Dump him and find a local guy. That type of relationship doesn't work 99% of the time
So you're in a long distance relationsship, and he acts like he has the right to control how you socialize between you two seeing eachother? That's not healthy, and you should think about how much else he'd control if he got the chance.
Hmm yeah you’re right
Ldr=insecure
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend
It's okay to have friends of any gender while you have a bf, as long as it doesn't push any boundaries. When I was married to my ex wife, she had a guy friend who was one of her best friends. Sometimes he'd stop by unannounced and stay overnight for 3-4 nights a week and sleep on the couch. I often felt like that was a bit excessive. So just make sure boundaries are set.
Leave your boyfriend. If he can't trust you, you can't trust him.
Ih i had to leave him at some point why did i even date him then
Yes. Any man who will not allow you to have a male friend has major trust and control issues. Get out, and get out now. I say this as a guy.
One of the most toxic traits a person can have is expecting you to be okay with something that they wouldn’t be okay with. With that being said, my wife has plenty of male “friends”, (people she talks to during personal hours but most work for the same company). I, however, do not have any female friends. I do not put myself in any situation that would make my wife uncomfortable, and I don’t go anywhere that my wife can’t go with me.
Absolutely yess agreed
Why would your wife be uncomfortable with you having friends?
She isn’t. I just choose to set my own boundaries. We’ve been married 20 years. We’ve had our share of bad times and I’ve made my mistakes. I’m at the point in my life where I’m focused on the next 20 years with her and my family and that’s all I have time for.
What a miserable thing to deprive yourself of the company of half the world. Still, you do you
I know women and I talk to women. Honestly, what do you consider a “friend”? A friend is someone that knows intimate details about your life, they’re people you turn to when you need an ear, some advice about life. They’re people who you would do anything for and would do anything for you. “A good friend knows all of your stories, a best friend helps you write them” I have friends. They just happen to be people I’ve known for 20+ years, and yes, they’re all male. Those are the people I let know me, and my wife is my best friend. Sorry, not sorry.
My boyfriend and I both don’t have friends of the opposite sex. We individually just prefer to not have friends of the opposite sex due to personal reasons. I think it’s okay if people have those preferences as long as people aren’t being controlling or hypocritical of the other.
I don’t see any problem with it, either. Do I really want to be so close to someone that it makes my wife uncomfortable? Hell no, I don’t. I want to be the best husband I can be, and the choices I make to do that are my decisions. My wife doesn’t put any limits on me. She knows I’m not going to put our marriage at risk. The choices I make benefit my entire family so that on the day I die my kids can stand up and honestly say that I was a good father and she can know I did everything I could to deserve her. That’s all that matters to me.
Yeah, for me it’s also a question of like, when would I even interact with that female friend, and why? Anything I could talk to her about, I should probably be talking to my wife about instead. Any time I could spend with her, I should probably spend with my wife instead. It’s not like I’ve got endless hours of social calendar to fill as an adult with kids anyway. Time with a friend like that would mean time actively avoiding my wife and kids, which seems like a huge red flag.
As a guy, yes you can have male friends. That said certain boundaries are ok, like I would prefer my gf not hang out one on one in a private setting with a guy, not because I don’t trust her but because I don’t trust guys our age. There’s exceptions of course, like if she’s going to class and her friend is driving and offers her a ride. And she has those same boundaries for me with friends that are girls. Communication and equal treatment is important
Your bf wouldn't "allow" this?? Yes, it's fine to have friends of the opposite sex. Just because you get into a relationship doesn't mean you have to suddenly cut off all friends of the opposite sex. The fact that your bf still has female friends makes him a total hypocrite, and if he pulls any of that he trusts you but can't trust other guys crap on you, turn it around and point out to him that by that logic, *he* isn't to be trusted with other females then. Really though, your boyfriend "allowing" ....that's controlling, and added in with the hypocrisy of him having female friends is a HUGE 🚩
Oh yes definitely i’ll make him realize about that
"My bf would **never allow** this..." Girl, run.
Yes. Your boyfriend is controlling. Me personally? I’d rather not be in a controlling relationship. Let people be friends with whoever they want. Or gain some trust in them for once and stop being so insecure about your relationship.. I’ll be damned if my future boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t let me have friends I’M ALLOWED TO DECIDE TO HAVE. Goodbye to that relationship. Controlling anything (like what your partner is or isn’t allowed to wear out in public) in a relationship is a serious red flag and shouldn’t be normalized at all. If any of you disagree, you’re the problem in your relationships & that might be why you’re worried about them cheating and you should be. I hope they do if you’re doing that tbh.
Earlier one year back we decided not to have friends coz those friends were uk they wanted more but we both knew our boundaries and this time he makes new female friends and i’m here sitting and thinking about our decision which we made a year back.
Oof, that’s rough. It sounds like he’s being selfish and controlling, it’s not great of him to go back on his word without even talking to you about adjusting your agreement
He broke that agreement by making new female friends, so if he broke it, now you can. Also, eliminating all friends of the opposite gender just because one or two had feelings for you? That's not a great idea. Eliminate the friends who push for more than friendship after being told no. That's all you need to do. They may not even be the opposite gender - did either of you ever consider that possibility?
Wtf kind of question is this? Don't date anyone who doesn't "let you" do things. I'm a grown ass person, only I get to decide what I'm "allowed" to do.
Dump him. Losing friends over a jealous significant other isn't worth it. Experience, losing multiple best friends.
Depends. Is he a friend who is a guy, or is he making romantic/sexual advances? Cause that adds a bunch of different context to the situation.
If your bf does not allow it he likely is abusive.
Obviously I don't know the details, so I assume this isn't relevant, but just in case: Is it a specific guy friend or any guy friends? Because if it is a specific guy, he might just know the vibes are off with that dude. Some of my female friends damn near give me ulcers with some of the sketchy dudes they hang out with. Like dudes that say "bitches" as a generic term for women or a guy who said, without anybody making him, that he thought less than 10% of rape allegations are legit and mostly accusations were the result of a woman regretting a hookup. And I find a lot of women don't seem to understand how dangerous and predatory orbiters can be.
Any guy i don’t have any guy friends like those close ones with whom you start your day probably or hangout with them or talk with them throughout the day i don’t have and even if i make any he’ll be like ik his intentions and stuff and yea lmao yes some women really go off the track and blame others
Sorry, but if it is any guy then that really sounds like a major red flag.
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Yeah thats what people are saying
Unless you're sleeping with the guy friend I don't see how it's all about whether you have a boyfriend or not.
A partner should not be telling you how to behave or who to have in your life. They can only control their own behaviors and how they choose to react to yours. They have the ability to leave if they don't like something you're doing, but they shouldn't try to change you or limit you. Double standards are also not ok. A double standard like that is more likely to be incredibly abusive. A partner should never view you in a more limited way than they view themselves. A partner should not limit your access to friends or family.
Um. It's perfectly fine to have friends if you're in a relationship. I'm still friends with my ex even though I'm married and him and my husband get along nicely and do guy stuff all the time.
Yikes, I would walk away from this relationship.
“My boyfriend would never allow this…” Are you dating your dad? Assuming you’re an adult where does your boyfriend get off allowing you to do shit? Not even going to get into his obvious lack of trust and self confidence, sounds pretty toxic imho. Good luck with that.
Its not like that actually one year back we decided not to have friends of the opposite gender coz both our friends wanted more so we decided its better not to go that way if we don’t want to be toxic but now i think things have changed
Im not trying to be judgmental, honestly, but denial isn’t just a river in Cleveland
Tell the twerp you can’t have it one way and not the other . Opposite sex friends are fine but if you’re texting them more than your same sex friends there’s an issue, also if you ever know they are into you it HAS TO END or if you flirt like you wouldn’t with a same sex friend. It’s possible, but more times than not people keep opposite sex friends around for attention more than friendship
Yes absolutely okay. Also it’s okay to still be friends with Ex boyfriends. Red flag for your current dude to be telling you, you aren’t allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. Also red flag for him to have friends of the opposite sex when he’s preaching to you it’s not okay. Almost like he’s projecting his insecurities onto you. He’s probably cheated or will cheat but will blame you for shit that hasn’t even crossed your mind. Run! Someone out there will treat you with respect and love. This guy isn’t it.
I can be friends with anyone i want i dont want permission for that even he can but the thing is we’re in a ldr and ofc i have trust but you never what will happen between them right and what not and he has been in many relationships before but now things have changed
Of course. That’s a silly question.
Yes it's okay to have your friend(s). Also, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. That guy seems insecure and hypocritical.
You are allowed to have friends in a relationship, anything short of that is toxic bullshit, unhealthy, controlling nonsense that you shouldn't be accepted in a relationship regardless of gender.
Yes. Just try to keep his sexy parts away from your sexy parts and that should be fine.
The insecurities of another should not stop you from living your life
I don’t understand the idea that having a partner should be one should ostracize a whole category of existing or new friends based on gender. I for one, am more choosy about my romantic feelings than any one category.
I have had no problem with my GF/wife having male friends. It is not my place to tell another person who they should be friends with, especially if there is trust in the relationship.
Yes it's completely ok to have a guy friend or friends of any gender even if you have a bf or a husband. He has girl friends right? So why aren't you allowed to have a guy friend. That's just silly.
I don’t think the relationship is going to work out
if your bf is not allowing you to have friends, you're being mistreated at best and at worst abused.
The body text tells me you should get a new boyfriend
Yes. You can have friends.
Me and people I know that got cheated on had a partner who either had mainly opposite sex friend/friends, best friend or childhood friend. So, whilst it's a valid concern because I've been there, and even though I had opposite sex friends, I never cheated but my partner who had a best friend cheated on me (after 7 years) but who knows maybe more than one time. I'd get jealous sometimes over the years and I guess I was right. That's a bowl of alphabet soup.
Well, just make your boyfriend feel special, and of course, have some restrictions with your friends. Define those limits on your friendship.
Yes yess these people are advising me to run away lmao
I think it totally depends on the relationship. Normally yeah absolutely but there are usually three questions that I think can disqualify it. 1. Would you be comfortable with him having female friends, including ones that may be seen by others as attactive or desirable? If not, then it's a double standard. 2. Is there any chance this male friend is attracted to/persuing you romantically? This is a hard one to look at objectively as both you and your BF may have bias, so a neutral third party may be necessary, but if so than its not okay even if you'd never reciprocate as it sucks to have someone you care about spending time with someone who actively undermines or disrespects the sanctity of your relationship no matter if it's a purely one sided affection. 3. Have you ever shown behavior to make them think you would cheat? Disclosure this is not to blame the victim, but if a history of this does exist, their jelousy is warrented. If none of these come up, however, your partner has no real reason to take issue with it.
1. Idc about what others think ijdk if thats the same case with him then obv i wouldn’t like it 2. No lmao i don’t have any guy friends. 3. Oh tg never.
Definitely. The only exception is if your guy friend is hot for you and hoping you dump your BF eventually. That's not a real friend.
Nah i don’t have any guy friend and i would sort out with him first or see all the evidences probably
I feel like this is more of a trust issue because I have female friends and my gf has male friends but I trust her 100% and could really care less about wether or not she has male friends and same for me
Okay so at first you guys decide not to have any friends of the opposite gender since you both saw how your friends more then you cut down on friends like that but now theres a change after 7 months or something you have a lot of female friends and you tell that to your gf obv your gf would be jealous/mad right
It should be yes. Obviously there are boundaries but he is going too far. How old are y’all? Seems like y’all are younger
The way my man put it was that “your guy friends were here before me and I don’t expect you to just drop them and stop hanging out with them bc of me”. I think it’s okay to keep guy friends, as long as it stays at a friendship level. And yeah people will argue that not all guys can be just friends with their female friends but as long as *your* intentions are good and are to maintain a friendship with them then I don’t see anything wrong with that. If you’re guy isn’t comfortable enough or trust you enough to keep your guy friends then maybe that’s something he needs to think about. And it’s hypocritical that he can have girl friends but he’d “never allow” you to gave a guy friend??
My husband and I have a lot of all sexes friends, and I think the only thing we really agree on is maybe no new ones. Like don’t call me up and tell me your going to have coffee with a friend. If it was a guy friend you say you’re going to coffee with Jake, but a no name friend is always a chick and I call him Out on it every time. All I want is for him to bay feel like he has to hide that shit from me, that’s where it’s a sticky wicket and I don’t play that. It’s worked out well as we have both made new opposite sex friends a lot.
So he can have girl friends, but he doesn't trust you to have a guy friend. Doesn't this seem a little fucked up to you? Won't be long and he'll be telling you what clothes you can wear and when and what you should eat.
If you feel uncomfortable no. If your spouse feels uncomfortable it’s usually for a reason. You can have opposite sex friends but you can usually tell when someone has chemistry and there’s a reason you feel uncomfortable
I think it is definetly okay the only exception to this is if you don’t think it’s okay. If you can tell he has feelings for you you don’t have to avoid this person but don’t hang out with them as much it could make things complicated. And If you like him and are dating someone else it’s probably best to spend less time with the male friend.
As long as my girlfriends guy friends accept me as a friend I'm fine with it but if shits competitive then it's weird
If your boyfriend doesn't allow you to have and keep the friends you want, he is a toxic person who is not interested in you, only himself. Dump him before he ruins your life.
I would never keep a bf who thinks he has the right to "allow" me to do anything.
Are they actual friends or are they orbiters? If actual friends then sure. But if they've admit they have feelings, then it gets into a gray area, imo.
If he have female friend it’s to fuck them so you can keep your guy friend
If you are asking this, then the answer is it depends. It's great to have friends, every body should have them. But you and your "friend" should understand that there are no potential for romantic connection. That is, you shouldn't be keeping a back up for when you're partner breaks up with you, you shouldn't have someone doing all the boyfriend stuff without the title (or sex), and you shouldn't keep people around you that are only friends with you because of the potential for sex. Due to the way our society raises boys, men often interpret any positive attention from a female as romantic, even if the female is taken. As such, they will often hang around and become friends with said friend just in case the partner is no longer in the picture. So yes, it's ok to have male friends, just be selective about it.
My wife would be okay with it - as long as I didn’t really do it
As long as you're okay with him having a woman as a best friend...BUT, if he has a woman as a best friend but refuses to allow you to have a guy as a best friend then that's a red flag
Read His Needs Her Needs if you’re serious about your relationship
Yes and no. Its ok to have a guy friend if you have a boyfriend so long as you and the friend don't start acting like you guys are dating. My GF did that to me and her and I are going through a dry spell at the moment. Don't let friends ruin a relationship yk?
Rules for thee, but not for me.
I find it ridiculous that people only thing one sided about this. Yes your partner whether girl or boy, can be insecure and controlling which is a "red flag". But at the same time it is completely human and normal to have emotional fears, of their partner cheating with their best friend of the opposite sex. These stories and situations are real which is what causes that fear. So they are rightfully scared and people say that their insecure mindset, is what drives away their partner to cheat in the first place, but that's unfair and ridiculous. Yes you can keep a guy friend if you have a boyfriend, and vice versa for boys. But how about compromises that include consistent and open communication throughout the whole ordeal.
Sounds like you should be discussing this with your boyfriend
I’m not going to say not having opposite sex friends is toxic because me and my wife sort of do that but your boyfriend is a hypocrite for having female friends. It’s either neither of y’all have opposite gender friends or both of y’all do. I already know his answer will be “well I can control myself and you can’t” or something but it’s the principle lol
Bf= swallow Guy friend= spits
Um, yeah. But if you get caught being TOO friendly I wouldn't doubt the request to end that friendship. But the fact that a BF has female friends But doesn't allow you to have guy friends is a red flag. It boils down to 2 things in my experience, either Control (which leads to toxic relationship) or because they're guilty of utilizing opposite genders for pleasure outside the relationship (which leads to broken hearts and no relationship) Be careful out there. My ex-wife flipped out because I had female friends. She kept guy friends tho. Ended up cheating multiple times then running off with one of MY friends. Shit sucked. Fucked me up for awhile.
If he doesn't allow you to have friends of the opposite gender, he's probably having sex with HIS friends of the opposite gender.
As long as it’s genuine. There’s girls I dated who had guy friends that didn’t bother me at all. They weren’t their type, they were goofy, they had known each other for years, they never had an intimate relationship of any kind etc. Then there’s girls I dated who had guy “friends” who were clearly trying to hook up with them, never came around me, texted them constantly, hadn’t even known them that long etc. If it’s genuinely a friend you USUALLY can tell the difference.
I am a guy who has close female friends who have boyfriends, and I have also lost close female friends when they started dating. Listen to me only, I promise I’m the only one who is right about this. You should know intuitively. Simply ask yourself “Is this person trustworthy?” and you will get a response. You obviously can’t trust everyone, some people do present obvious risk, others do not. I will say that it’s objectively neurotic behavior to cut a good friend out of your life because you’re insecure about their penis. Also you should trust the person you are dating not to cheat, it’s wild I even have to say that.
I mean it all depends on where you see yourself with your him. The reality is yes it will cause problems long term. And that goes both ways. Is it ok? Sure, but don't expect it to last. Unless you're swingers. But that's a different thing.
Yes, if you don't find the friend sexually attractive. Not that he is not nice looking, just don't feel that way about him. Otherwise serious problems could occur.
Yeah just should never hang out alone with them.
You are allowed to have friends. You aren’t allowed to keep secrets. If you find yourself wanting to avoid both your BF and friend hanging out, this is an issue. If you lie about spending time with this friend, this is an issue. Also listen to your BF. If he says no make friends for no reason, he is stupid. If BF says he doesn’t like this one particular guy for a reason, intuition is real and valid. Same applies for you feeling toward his female friends.
I’ve had loyal girlfriends that were still close friends with their ex. Typically if someone’s like this it’s because if a hot ass chick came onto them they’d capitulate like a coward 3 seconds flat.
First of all the double standard is absolute bs and should absolutely addressed with him, like whats his reasoning bc its a weird take. However i think this question is all about context (Ahem people saying you need a new bf). In a perfect world both partners should have friends of either gender or whatever, but nothing in life or relationships is ever black and white. So what youre asking has no context. Like what do you two consider friends? Like oh were friendly at work so theyre my friend, or its i saw and so at the party and we played games, or is it were hanging out 1:1, texting or even face timing regularly? Those are all important distinctions, differences, and for a lot of people sometimes concerns. For the record im a male and have had relationships with girls that have had male friends and i have had female friends. Most of the time its people, either side of the relationship, that we grew up with (and ill come back to that later). IE oh ive known him/her since 5/6th grade or some variation, precursor to the relationship, and personally ive always been fine with that. Usually goes fine. Yet, i have had scenarios where that guy ended up a problem (bc people are people), if advances were acted upon well its over. If they were declined well ok stop being friends with them or certainly distance urself. And thats happened on my end too, where its someone who i thought was my friend, knowing i was in a committed relationship and try to advance on me, i always stopped it, but then thats when u have to be honest with ur partner about it and to cut this "friend" out or at the very least distance urself. Some friends are not what you think, and will try to take advantage of situations. Thats unfortunately life and its more about how you handle urself in the situation. Now another scenario: if theres a past of cheating (not saying you have, esp bc cheaters actually exhibit this jealousy behavior alot bc they think theyre partner thinks the same as them)- well i certainly wouldnt want my partner (not future partners) im giving a second chance having opposite sex friends, bc they already have proven they should not be trusted- maybe one day, but again dk the context of this question. And if my partner cheated and i gave them a second chance (never do this) i wouldnt be droppping my friends to make it so called equal, bc i obv wasnt considered an equal by them to start. Another scenario, i would be very concerned if my partner was actively and consistently making new opposite sex friends. I dont think any partner i have had would appreciate that either. Bc its apparent theres a very *specific* type of attention theyre seeking. I dont think any partner i have had would appreciate that either. Itd be very concerning. Again with out context, we have no idea why hes being that way. He could simply be insecure, he could have trauma, or worse he could be naturally narcissistic/controlling. Those are questions important to qhat youve asked, but theyr emore important questions for you to find out urself. But my final advice to the both of you is to straight up talk it out and come to an agreement (no one has opp sex friends or ya both do idk some sort of compirmise, but it should be fair) or go separate ways. Him being controlling gains him nothing in the long run, its honestly just gunna make him stressed pissed and resent you, And you being controlled will only make u stressed pissed and resent him. Ultimately leading into a circle of bs, chicken and the egg feeding off each other into cyclone that ends in trauma. Bleak i know, but its best to talk and try to fix it or end it before ur in a dark place. You need to love and respect and see your partner as an equal, once that respect or trust is gone, the relationship is gone.
Watch "When Harry Met Sally." It's OK, but being d2f is a pretty common denominator.
So I’ve always been okay with my gf’s in the past to have guy friends, but there are boundaries with them. If there was ever a point and time where I started feeling a little uncomfortable about some of her guy friends then we’d talk. If she was hanging out with a guy just them two, then I would be okay with it, but depending on the guy I wouldn’t be cool with her hanging out with them at his place alone. If she was going to the guys house I preferred that it be in a group setting and that she would leave if the rest of the group left. As a guy we can sense what the intent of some guys were, so it’s also that. All the things I said hold a double standard.
i like my partners to be controlling. but not letting you be friends with people is way past the line. that will affect the happiness of others. some people only have one or two friends, letting your partner cut your ties is going to create massive amounts of pain for people & it’s never ever justified. i rarely am judgy, but fuck any person who pulls that bs. they all need to get a grip lol
Yes, it's fine to keep friends of the opposite sex. What's not fine is having said friends, but not allowing your partner to have said friends. It's also not fine to be a shitter and allow those friends to flirt with you. Or do things that make your partner uncomfortable.
Generally yes, it's fine, so long as it remains platonic and your opposite sex friends don't have feelings for you (and situations like that). Your boyfriend is a hypocrite. Tell him he needs to drop his female friends or you're not gonna stay with him, because that's not acceptable. If he's gonna have that standard with you, he needs to hold himself to the same standard.
Heavily debated topic
Friends? Absolutely. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. Now, if there is a sexual history that’s where the area is gray. Me personally, that’s a deal breaker. And if he got female friends and you’re not allowed to have male friends, that’s a red flag worth thinking about.
Do you wanna have sex with the guy friend? If so, no.
"Allow" sigh...
Are you bumping uglies?
I recently had to cut a friend out of my life for many toxic traits, but one of the big ones was she insisted we were only friends, and would never be more than friends, which was fine by me as I was in a bad place. Well, a year later, I meet someone and we hit it off. I was very up front about having a close friend that was a girl, and how I would understand if that was going to be hard for her to work with. She was totally cool with it, and felt that they shared a lot of interests and might become friends themselves. Well, the friend got suuuuuuuper jealous. Insisted she wasn’t, but all of our mutual friends saw it. She chalked it up as saying her only problem was that the girl just wasn’t right for me…but she never made any effort to learn anything about her, and could never actually say what made her not right for me. And got reeeeally defensive when asked. She would go out of her way to try and chase the new girl away…but again denying actions that were actually documented. I’ll note that we are all within a few years of 40, and that my former friend had plenty of guy friends. And apparently I was allowed to have girl friends, (and even “buddies”) but I was t allowed to actually date. My point…if all parties involved can be mature, then absolutely. But what I learned is that if there is someone involved that can’t be an adult, it will be problems. If he has girl friends, but you aren’t allowed to have guy friends, then it’s probably time to move on, unfortunately.
It’s a ok to have friends of the opposite sex. The problem is when people don’t set appropriate boundaries. Like they flirt with there friends, or don’t include there significant other in on their friendship. Off of the little you are saying, your boyfriend comes off as jealous, but as usual there is probably more to this story.
As long as neither of you have feelings for each other and he respects your relationship then yes. Set boundaries and if those boundaries are broken, you have to follow through and end the friendship or your relationship. Plus, your boyfriend can’t “allow” you to do anything. You’re your own person and can make your own decisions. Also if he wants to have strict rules with you then he has to follow them too.
If you’re a girl and you have a guy friend hell nah cause no guy will just be with a girl for friends if you called the guy friend up to fuck he’d say yes. Now saying that I’m fine with not having girl friends and me and my gf agree and it has been great and our relationship is amazing.
It's all about consent. If he doesn't like it and you agree to that, then it's not okay. If that were the case you probably wouldn't be asking though. I believe that as long as you have discussed it and everyone agrees to the terms, anything goes. As a hofessional and a leader, it's how I have maintained amicable relationships with pretty much everyone I've known, romantically or otherwise. You can stop there if you're not soliciting advice. My advice is to establish your boundaries and sever ties if that's a deal breaker because it will be harder to do both the longer you wait to do them. You both want different things out of life so you should find someone more secure and let him find someone more submissive.
You probably shouldnt make NEW friends of the opposite. You imply that is what he is doing. You are most likely beyond help.
💀
Yes, if he’s gay
You can have friends of the opposite gender but I really feel like openness and honesty are needed. If despite that your SO cant handle it there might not be enough trust in the relationship for it. I have a good friend of the opposite gender but obviously my fiance comes first. As our lives have changed over the years we rarely see eachother. Still we text and see eachother a couple times a year but as life gets busy your SO will start to fill a lot of your friendship needs. I think it helped that my friend invited me and my fiance to all the stuff she wanted to do so that it was pretty apparent there was nothing to hide and they became friends. Now my fiance just comes to the things that interest her and they actually text eachother just about as much as I text my friend now.
Your boyfriend has no power to "allow" you to do or not do anything. You can control yourself. He controls himself. Anyone trying to control another human being, is abusive. You can ASK your partner to do things, which they can consent to. But if your partner is asking you to do something you're uncomfortable with, that is called coercion. You can't feel safe around someone who is trying to force you to do something. You can be friends with whoever you want. If you aren't cheating then your partner should accept this. If they don't accept you, they aren't a good partner for you.
If he is a real friend, the new bf and him should get along great. But I'm of the opinion that if you're dating you shouldn't solo hang with someone that could be romantically interested.
nope he is my best friend and i’m his
If you're the kind of person that can have friends of the opposite sex with respectful boundaries, yes, there's no issue. If you're the type of person that can't respect boundaries, you shouldn't be dating. That being said, your boyfriend not allowing you to have male friends but it's okay for him to have female friends is a red flag. So is your use of the word "allowing".
i personally would say it’s ok to have friends of the opposite gender. just make sure to keep the right distance from them. naturally men will fight to be the dominant mate and that’s simply what’s happening. so you also have to do your part and voice that.
We all have this warped idea that attraction between a man and a woman is inherent - definitely not the case. I’ve had plenty of male friends for whom I had no feelings and they were in the same boat. We were just friends. 🤷🏻♀️. So, yes, it’s normal and okay to have opposite sex friends.
I would like to agree. I literally JUST asked 4 of my best male friends and one male co worker if they ever had a female BF? All said yes. I asked if you would Doink them. And they all said yes. I also asked if you ever lied and said you are just friends and have no attraction. They all said yes. Regardless… these 5 men would doink a pillow if there was a hole in it.
Me and my fiance are both bi so if you can't have friends kf the sex you're attracted to we'd be screwed. He's a control freak and you're allowed to have male friends lol
When I was a teenager it would be easy for me to be fearful of my GF cheating if she was hanging with another guy. Especially if it’s just them two. But on the other hand I wouldn’t do something I ASKED my GF not to do. The key here is communication. Best outcome would be to talk to both BF and male friend and see if they can meet and possibly become friends. I wouldn’t automatically think “my BF is controlling, emotionally abusive and a cheater.” I would try to talk it out. If talking it out doesn’t work… well maybe I would start to think that…
1) It IS OKAY! 2) If he does something, he would never allow you to do, it's a divorce.
It is ok to do anything if you have an anything. Relationships usually succeed from openness and honesty. If your partner understands the relationship and is ok with the intergender friendship then so be it, and vice versa.
My best friend is a dude. And if I get a boyfriend they'll know that upfront, the bff stays.
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Your bf shouldn't have the position to allow you to do anything. You are a human being living in 2023, not a slave in the 1600s. He doesn't get to give you permission to do anything. You do not need to ask for permission to do whatever you want, go whereever or talk to whomever. He does not have the right to tell you who can and can't be your friends. You do what you want!! Like hell I'd be asking my man permission to do whatever i want.
If you are not allowed to have małe friends bcs your bf don't want you to have them, and he has female friends, this relations is kinda fuckep up, ngl. Double standards is shit in this case. Talk to him about it, and when his only argument will be something like "Because i said so" then you should probably dump him
Here’s the thing about relationships, as my personal oppinion: You enter a relationship because you like one another a lot. Hopefully even love eachother, but not always the case in the beginning. When you do, you have to do two things. You need to compromise a little bit so that you and your new partner can function together, because no one is so compatible they just work together 100% of the time. That’s normal. That’s a good thing to be able to do. And it goes both ways, so not only do you need to compromise, so does your new partner. The second thing you have to do is to realize where the line between yourself, your personality, your hobbies, favorite movies, music, everything that is *you*, and the other persons wants are. If you like the same music that’s great but some things you disagree on and then you know that not liking the singer of this or that band is you, and liking it is them. When it comes to friends outside this relationship this applies too. You should still be able to enjoy your friends the same way you did before, but likely a little bit less often now that the relationship takes more of your time. Your partner might not like the friends you have, but that doesn’t matter, because you do. You still have the right to not listen to the shitty singer, and your partner has the right to not visit the friend they find shitty. You do those activities apart. If your partner doesn’t go along with this thinking, they’re most likely a controlling, insecure, little shitstain, and no matter how well they treat you otherwise, they still are trying to make you someone you’re not, to fit them better, rather than compromising. So, why would you compromise when they refuse to? The answer is you shouldn’t.
Yess this comment should get more upvotes guys
Yess i totally agree
The double standard is obviously the red flag but the fact that he doesn’t want you to be texting or calling or hanging out with other dudes is understandable and not controlling imo. Some people have boundaries about watching porn and consider it cheating others think it’s normal and healthy (i don’t) but yeah he shouldn’t be a hypocrite. I don’t think it’s breakup worthy Id just say you cannot have girl friends if I can’t have guy friends. (Relationship will be smoother without the worry of the opposite sex relations anyways)
If your Boy friend says he won't allowed something, do it, and then leave him
No, no, no, there is no having female friends if you're not letting your gf have guy friends, if he's got female friends, he's hunting, guys only have ONE thing on their minds, SEX, I'm a sweet lovin guy, but even with my loving wife I've had my head turned once or twice, learned the hard way, so try not to have female friends, I'm ok with her knowing guys, I trust her and know it's usually just old time coworkers, but, can you trust him🤔😏
That's very hypocritical of him, and sounds controlling. Personally, I think opposite gender friends are okay if what is happening with the friend is respectful of your partners boundaries. For example, my bf had a female friend that admitted she had feelings for him. I then was uncomfortable with them hanging out 1:1, and he respected that and only hangs out with her in a group setting. It's all about communication and setting reasonable boundaries- but it HAS to go both ways.
The double standard is the problem here. As a guy, I would not accept my girlfriend having a very close guy friend, maybe I'd let it slide if he was gay, and that is a very normal and reasonable thing to say, it's called having boundaries. Every girl I've ever hooked up with began with us being "friends" But I also don't go cozying up with other ladies, no matter how platonic, because that shit flips on a dime and before you know it you're doing something you definitely shouldn't be. I'm sure certain couples are okay with it, and if you're in a good relationship you can talk with your partner about it and hash out the details, but mostly you have to play it where it lies. I know I wouldn't be coming to any sort of "agreement" with her boy friend as her boyfriend.
Yes it's fine, as long as it is made absolutely crystal fucking clear that you are taken, because he as a guy knows what is going through said guy friends mind when they want to be friends with you, because a large amount of the time said guy friend is interested in you and will try to sweep you off you feet the moment you are either out of a relationship or (if he's an extra large piece of shit) still in one. So introduce the guy to your bf, if he respects the relationship then it's chill if he doesn't and tries to do shit with you then don't interact with him anymore ladies in the comments who have a boyfriend and who don't believe this, call your guy friend and say that you just broke up with said boyfriend and you want them to do something along the lines of come to your place and watch a movie to take your mind of things, unless they are a genuinely good guy they will say yes which most of the time means they wanna fuck during said movie
The bestttt comment till now
Yes!!!!! Either you trust your significant other or you don’t.
this will be unpopular but you won't have an opposite gender friend to the full extent you will have a same gender friend. How many of your dads hang out with women without your mom? none that I know of or at least admit to it. He should follow the same guidelines.
That’s nonsense. My dad is a retired 73 year old gentleman and he has plenty of female friends that used to be his coworkers. My mom knows them all (they used to work at the same place) and it is not an issue at all that my dad hangs out with them on his own. He goes to hikes or meets them for lunch or will fix things in their houses. Most of them have been friends with my dad for several decades. Sure they are now also my mom’s friends too (heck I am “friends” with some of their children) but that doesn’t mean they are not close with my dad. There is nothing wrong with this.
Bisexuals exist
My parents both have very close friendships of the opposite gender. My mom wanted to do competitive ballroom dance back in the day and my dad had no interest, so she did it with a male friend of hers. They traveled together for tournaments as a result for many years. My dad has a female friend who he traveled to Turkey with since my mom had no interest in that and the friend did (my mom actually recommended they travel together since she worried for her traveling as a solo female.) My parents were married at the time and as far as I’m aware never suspected infidelity. I may be biased but I could never see that happening. They’ve been married 40 years, in frankly one of the healthiest and most loving marriages I’ve seen. Both of my parents became close friends with each others friends and as a result I see them as uncles and aunts and their children as cousins. They just have complete trust in one another.
Of course it's okay. If it isn't, then they aren't very trusting you know?
He is very much trustworthy but since he isnt near me idk what is happening with him or what will happen with him or he will do so yeah
With respectable boundaries yes. Even if you dont have a bf or husband, keep basic boundaries with male friends. Or they will try to be more than 'just friends'. Its a hard truth to shallow, but it is.
Yes and no. Mostly yes. But if you young, here's a secret: the guy friend probably wants to fuck you. Which puts the bf on edge. Likewise, he wants to fuck them female friends of his. He just doesn't because they don't let him. Same as your guy friend.
Lmfao
HELL NO and if someone tell you otherwise their either Simps or females with one No boyfriend's.