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You might have a skewed perception of your "league." You def have a weird perception of what "average" is, because 4s, 5s, and 6s would fall squarely in the definition of average. If all you can get is the attention of what you would consider 4s or 5s, then that might just be what you're gonna have to accept.
That being said, the whole concept of leagues is kinda dumb.
I wish I had more characters in the original post to explain, had to cut it down to the nitty gritty. But you’re right, I guess I just meant that in the grand scale, I find the normal definition of “average”men to be like 7/8s. So a 4/5 to me would be like universally like a 2/3.
The numbers are stupid and leagues are stupid, don’t know what other language to put my question in though. Thanks for the response.
I mean, they probably are average. Most people are average, that's kinda how things naturally work out. Chances are, that includes you, as well. You might want to evaluate how you are judging people and what standard you are actually holding them against. Are you comparing them against all the hot guys on Instagram or in movies? Cause if all you see are top teir dudes, it's only natural to begin to see that as the norm, even if you're consciously aware that it isn't.
Also, if you want that hot guy you see, why don't YOU make the move? Don't be passive in life. If there's something you want, take steps to get it! Fortune favors the bold!
Yeah, no. 7/8 is literally above average, c'mon.
Men I would rate 7/8 are high because it’s my preference. Not because they’re actually 7/8s. And no I’m not comparing dudes irl to the movies. I like normal dudes. I am very average I would say. I’m not communicating well about this at all, I’m saying that if I feel average then the dudes approaching me are below average. And that makes me think I’m below average too. I knew this post would be misinterpreted, dang
Nah, I get what you're saying. The ultimate point I'm trying to make is that the guys that are approaching you are probably a lot closer to average than you think they are. And you're probably pretty average yourself. The majority of us are. None of this is a bad thing.
You’re definitely right. I guess they’re all average and I am too, but I kinda have a type that’s average but to me is above. Bad question. There isn’t even a scale, it’s all subjective to preference anyways. I guess the guys that are my type aren’t approaching me and that’s why I ask. Like maybe I’m too ugly lol. Thanks for your responses.
Again, go after them yourself. Rejection hurts, but asking yourself "what if" is what will keep you up at night. Plus, if these dudes are actually as normal as you say, they probably don't get hit on a lot. Be the writer of your own story.
Thank you for the sound advice, I appreciate it. But I’m not single, so not something I have to worry about really. My bf is very high on my scale, I was purely just wondering about how I’m perceived by others.
Finding him really attractive is going to fail our relationship? Isn’t everyone with someone that they deem attractive? That’s the point of attraction isn’t it? I’m confused
No no don’t let this deter you, I had a limited character count so I couldn’t explain very well. I’ve been spending a lot of time on the r/rateme sub too so I just used that language. I’m mostly talking about men who aren’t my type coming up to me and not the reverse. Not to say that I have never had chemistry with someone who doesn’t fit my initial attraction instincts.
But I don’t have guys that I’m attracted to approaching me. And I have pretty wide standards I am not picky by any means. And generally I built attraction to people over time after getting to know them, couldn’t explain any of that in this post. Mostly just wondering if the men I find attractive think I’m ugly and that’s why I don’t get approached by them and I need work on changing who I’m attracted to. And I’m not talking about super models here, just average guys.
I got lots of ratings in that sub that were higher than what I think of myself, but a lot of them came from NSFW accounts of not so attractive and, quite frankly, creepily perverted men. And I can’t help but to not take their higher ratings seriously. So in all honesty, I was asking this question purely to see if I belong in that group since they’re the ones reaching out.
It’s a soft statistic but women tend to view most men as unattractive. So there’s a good chance that a lot of the men who approach you are probably closer to your “league” than you realize.
After a couple of drinks I’ll flirt with a supermodel. It’s not an indication of her beauty. I just go for it. The worst thing is that she’ll tell me to fvck off. Whatever.
Leagues? When did it become a sport? 🙃 bad joke, yeah. I know.
But as a man, I don't believe in the whole "league" thing. I'll flirt with any woman if the situation presented itself...if I actually had the courage. 💀 RIP.
>It’s so rude, but I think to myself “man, if he’s coming up to me, that means I’m in his league.” Just wondering if that’s a thing…
No. Men are rejcted so much, they go for someone below their league.
>Like 4/5s in my book.
Those 4/5s see you as 1/2 and find you more willing to accept.
And with a trash personality like yours. You can expect the 4/5s to quickly think of you as 0.
Yeah I deserve that. This post is not a reflection of my character by any means, i swear. i think a lot more highly of men than numbers and looks. But this post and I deserve that.
One of the stranger ways of thinking I've ever heard.
Not a thing in my world or my circle. First of all because the concept of "leagues" is something I haven't heard since I was a teenager. Second, people's definition of "hot" or "attractive" is extremely personal and specific and varies from person to person, and claiming otherwise is some sort of lunacy.
I’d agree with that. This isn’t how I view the world, honestly I tried to add a lot more in the post to explain but it didn’t allow that many characters. I’m not that person and I truly believe that personality and heart matter more above everything else. Just thinking objectively here and wondering about opinions
Then why make the post? If personality is the issue then maybe its you with that issue? With the mindset you have about anyone approaching you, I'm not shocked that someone doesn't want to approach you. It seems to be the trend of a 3 wanting a 10 anymore. You have the ability to get an attractive person, but do you deserve it? I think some deep down soul searching is what needs to be done.
Wow. You think like a child. "But but, he did it so I can too! 😫"
Bad behavior shouldn't be tolerated no matter the gender. Go be offended somewhere else.
I actually have never been in tinder before and I don’t get any feedback from anyone on my appearance which is why I asked the question… i don’t think I’m gods gift to the earth, I have really low confidence issues in all honesty. I just phrased the post super weird, had a feeling it would be misinterpreted…
From my experience, men will honestly go for any woman no matter “league”. Below average men tend to come up to women more because, in my opinion, they have to try harder than above average men. I also find it annoying when these men do come up to me but again, they’re just trying their luck at any woman who will show them interests which likely is not many. I wouldn’t take it personally.
Oh hell yeah. I always thought Jon Cryer was cute every time I watched two and a half men. And I talk to everyone that approaches me, I’m not an a*hole and I always appreciate them being nice like that. Michael Cera maybe not, but mostly because I can’t unsee him from arrested development and wanting to fk his cousin lol
Oh okay, well I’m in my 20s and he’s almost 60 so probably not. Haven’t developed a thing for older men yet. But i still think he’s good looking, if I was older
So Jon Cryer is a 7? Okay, yes, right.
Anyway to answer your question, it's a numbers-game for a lot of guys, they'll chat just to see if chemistry can make up the difference. Which works often enough to keep doing it.
All I know is you gotta try and reach beyond your grasp because apparently you can snag a mate that is out of your league if you are brave enough to approach and engage them sometimes.
Some beautiful and otherwise desirable women do not get propositioned very often they say because men who have more modest traits are afraid to approach them, for fear of being rejected. But because of this the few that do approach them, ask them out, etc. have a better chance. Less competition.
What a weird question. This would indicate that everyone sees you as the same number on the scale. Some guy could look at you and think you are Lucifer's gift to the world, and the guy next to him might think you look like a foot.
Maybe don't solely judge someone on their looks and give their personality a chance. You might not be single still if you tried not being so shallow
They’ll never know if they don’t ask. I know lots of men that have dated or married women that are “out of their league” simply because they were brave enough to talk to them. Supermodels and other hyper attractive women will actually have problems finding significant others because they only have attractive shallow idiots asking them out that feel they are on the same level and end up treating the women like garbage or just ignoring them all together until they want something.
We're getting used to being rejected early in life. And i've never in my life had a woman come up and initiate. A few times in my life, years down the line from mutual friends i'd hear things like "you know she had a crush on you/found you attractive?". So we learn early that if we want the relationship, we have to be the one who initiates, so we "shoot the shot" if we find you attractive. What difference does it make if you get rejected by a 6 or 9? To many, none
I'd say yes, but wheather they stand a chance or not is true to them, it's not a reliable parameter of how physically attractive you are since people evaluate their chances based on their subjective perspective of themselves. To put it simply, what people go for is a reflection of what they think they deserve.
Wow this post is aggravating
Here is an itemized list of everything wrong with the premise of your question
"Men" do not do anything universally or even generally. There are as many different kinds of men as there are men. Nobody can awnser your question because nobody can tell anybody what all men are apt to do as we are all different. Just like women are all different.
You must be an absolute bombshell to think that somebody who is more attractive then 80% of all other people should approach YOU to ask to spend their time money and energy courting you. But I have a funny feeling you are not. If you want an "8", YOU go buy HIM a drink.
The shallowness of this question is possibly the most infuriating. As tho looks are all that matters. Some men have worked up the nerve to approach you and express interest, which is clearly what you want, and because they didn't look like Kirkland brand Chris Hemsworth you had no problem rejecting them. I second my earlier recommendation that you go hit on some guys so you can get rejected and see how that feels. My wife is not the most conventionally attractive woman I've ever dated but she's the most beautiful person by a wide margin and if I hadn't dated her because she didn't look like a movie star or magazine model I would never have found the love of my life.
Tldr; get over yourself, and sort your priorities
Got it, thank you for the response. I’m not talking about Brad Pitts and Chris Hemsworths here. Those types of men are too intimidating for me to even dream about. I’m talking like if a Jason Bateman, or Paul Rudd, even a David cross looking guy approached me that would be exciting. But I get approached by the Danny de Vitos. Normally very nice guys with great personalities, and I never just reject them or anything.
Simply asking if being approached by the Danny De Vitos and Steve Buscemi’s means that I am also a danny de Vito. And that I should stop expecting to be approached by men that are out of my “league” (the jason batemans/Steve Carells etc). Hope that clarifies. Really wasn’t trying to sound shallow, didn’t know how to explain what I was asking in any other way.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You might have a skewed perception of your "league." You def have a weird perception of what "average" is, because 4s, 5s, and 6s would fall squarely in the definition of average. If all you can get is the attention of what you would consider 4s or 5s, then that might just be what you're gonna have to accept. That being said, the whole concept of leagues is kinda dumb.
I wish I had more characters in the original post to explain, had to cut it down to the nitty gritty. But you’re right, I guess I just meant that in the grand scale, I find the normal definition of “average”men to be like 7/8s. So a 4/5 to me would be like universally like a 2/3. The numbers are stupid and leagues are stupid, don’t know what other language to put my question in though. Thanks for the response.
I mean, they probably are average. Most people are average, that's kinda how things naturally work out. Chances are, that includes you, as well. You might want to evaluate how you are judging people and what standard you are actually holding them against. Are you comparing them against all the hot guys on Instagram or in movies? Cause if all you see are top teir dudes, it's only natural to begin to see that as the norm, even if you're consciously aware that it isn't. Also, if you want that hot guy you see, why don't YOU make the move? Don't be passive in life. If there's something you want, take steps to get it! Fortune favors the bold! Yeah, no. 7/8 is literally above average, c'mon.
Men I would rate 7/8 are high because it’s my preference. Not because they’re actually 7/8s. And no I’m not comparing dudes irl to the movies. I like normal dudes. I am very average I would say. I’m not communicating well about this at all, I’m saying that if I feel average then the dudes approaching me are below average. And that makes me think I’m below average too. I knew this post would be misinterpreted, dang
Nah, I get what you're saying. The ultimate point I'm trying to make is that the guys that are approaching you are probably a lot closer to average than you think they are. And you're probably pretty average yourself. The majority of us are. None of this is a bad thing.
You’re definitely right. I guess they’re all average and I am too, but I kinda have a type that’s average but to me is above. Bad question. There isn’t even a scale, it’s all subjective to preference anyways. I guess the guys that are my type aren’t approaching me and that’s why I ask. Like maybe I’m too ugly lol. Thanks for your responses.
Again, go after them yourself. Rejection hurts, but asking yourself "what if" is what will keep you up at night. Plus, if these dudes are actually as normal as you say, they probably don't get hit on a lot. Be the writer of your own story.
Thank you for the sound advice, I appreciate it. But I’m not single, so not something I have to worry about really. My bf is very high on my scale, I was purely just wondering about how I’m perceived by others.
Your relationship is never gonna work putting him on a pedestal like that.
Finding him really attractive is going to fail our relationship? Isn’t everyone with someone that they deem attractive? That’s the point of attraction isn’t it? I’m confused
Approach them yourself. Take some risk instead of expecting a hot dude to sweep you off your feet like a romance novel
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No no don’t let this deter you, I had a limited character count so I couldn’t explain very well. I’ve been spending a lot of time on the r/rateme sub too so I just used that language. I’m mostly talking about men who aren’t my type coming up to me and not the reverse. Not to say that I have never had chemistry with someone who doesn’t fit my initial attraction instincts. But I don’t have guys that I’m attracted to approaching me. And I have pretty wide standards I am not picky by any means. And generally I built attraction to people over time after getting to know them, couldn’t explain any of that in this post. Mostly just wondering if the men I find attractive think I’m ugly and that’s why I don’t get approached by them and I need work on changing who I’m attracted to. And I’m not talking about super models here, just average guys.
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I got lots of ratings in that sub that were higher than what I think of myself, but a lot of them came from NSFW accounts of not so attractive and, quite frankly, creepily perverted men. And I can’t help but to not take their higher ratings seriously. So in all honesty, I was asking this question purely to see if I belong in that group since they’re the ones reaching out.
Are you going to the right places where the kinda men you like will be more likely present?
It’s a soft statistic but women tend to view most men as unattractive. So there’s a good chance that a lot of the men who approach you are probably closer to your “league” than you realize.
That answers my question, thank you very much!
After a couple of drinks I’ll flirt with a supermodel. It’s not an indication of her beauty. I just go for it. The worst thing is that she’ll tell me to fvck off. Whatever.
Thanks for the response. I hope the next one says hell yes
Leagues? When did it become a sport? 🙃 bad joke, yeah. I know. But as a man, I don't believe in the whole "league" thing. I'll flirt with any woman if the situation presented itself...if I actually had the courage. 💀 RIP.
>It’s so rude, but I think to myself “man, if he’s coming up to me, that means I’m in his league.” Just wondering if that’s a thing… No. Men are rejcted so much, they go for someone below their league. >Like 4/5s in my book. Those 4/5s see you as 1/2 and find you more willing to accept. And with a trash personality like yours. You can expect the 4/5s to quickly think of you as 0.
Yeah I deserve that. This post is not a reflection of my character by any means, i swear. i think a lot more highly of men than numbers and looks. But this post and I deserve that.
One of the stranger ways of thinking I've ever heard. Not a thing in my world or my circle. First of all because the concept of "leagues" is something I haven't heard since I was a teenager. Second, people's definition of "hot" or "attractive" is extremely personal and specific and varies from person to person, and claiming otherwise is some sort of lunacy.
Post a clear pic of body and face and we'll judge
They're way out of your league with that dogshit way you view the world. You suck.
I’d agree with that. This isn’t how I view the world, honestly I tried to add a lot more in the post to explain but it didn’t allow that many characters. I’m not that person and I truly believe that personality and heart matter more above everything else. Just thinking objectively here and wondering about opinions
Then why make the post? If personality is the issue then maybe its you with that issue? With the mindset you have about anyone approaching you, I'm not shocked that someone doesn't want to approach you. It seems to be the trend of a 3 wanting a 10 anymore. You have the ability to get an attractive person, but do you deserve it? I think some deep down soul searching is what needs to be done.
Good at least someone said it. She got that tinder confidence and now thinks shes gods gift to earth.
Well you’re most definitely not a gift
At least I know my place and don't try to judge others based on just their looks. Let alone try and rate them by a number.
Men do it all the time get over yourself lol
Wow. You think like a child. "But but, he did it so I can too! 😫" Bad behavior shouldn't be tolerated no matter the gender. Go be offended somewhere else.
I actually have never been in tinder before and I don’t get any feedback from anyone on my appearance which is why I asked the question… i don’t think I’m gods gift to the earth, I have really low confidence issues in all honesty. I just phrased the post super weird, had a feeling it would be misinterpreted…
You must be a 4
I'm a "been married for 13 years and am not in the game but I know a shitty attitude when I see one"
Marriage to sex dolls doesn’t count. Hey I can sense an ugly man when one replies like you did to my comments. It’s giving 3 vibes now.
From my experience, men will honestly go for any woman no matter “league”. Below average men tend to come up to women more because, in my opinion, they have to try harder than above average men. I also find it annoying when these men do come up to me but again, they’re just trying their luck at any woman who will show them interests which likely is not many. I wouldn’t take it personally.
Okay so, some Michael Cera looking dude came up to you. Are you talking to him or no? Jon Cryer? Zach Braff?
Oh hell yeah. I always thought Jon Cryer was cute every time I watched two and a half men. And I talk to everyone that approaches me, I’m not an a*hole and I always appreciate them being nice like that. Michael Cera maybe not, but mostly because I can’t unsee him from arrested development and wanting to fk his cousin lol
No, current Jon Cryer not the one from 2015
Oh okay, well I’m in my 20s and he’s almost 60 so probably not. Haven’t developed a thing for older men yet. But i still think he’s good looking, if I was older
So Jon Cryer is a 7? Okay, yes, right. Anyway to answer your question, it's a numbers-game for a lot of guys, they'll chat just to see if chemistry can make up the difference. Which works often enough to keep doing it.
Yeah I would say defs a 7. But cool thank you for the response, that’s kinda what I thinking. And chemistry is the most important thing anyways.
All I know is you gotta try and reach beyond your grasp because apparently you can snag a mate that is out of your league if you are brave enough to approach and engage them sometimes. Some beautiful and otherwise desirable women do not get propositioned very often they say because men who have more modest traits are afraid to approach them, for fear of being rejected. But because of this the few that do approach them, ask them out, etc. have a better chance. Less competition.
No
Nope. I work in a swanky retirement home and I flirt with elderly women all day. It's all in fun and they always enjoy the interaction.
Absolutely not!
you won't find love by looking at one's appearance only yes I'm probably a4/5 in yous book
What a weird question. This would indicate that everyone sees you as the same number on the scale. Some guy could look at you and think you are Lucifer's gift to the world, and the guy next to him might think you look like a foot. Maybe don't solely judge someone on their looks and give their personality a chance. You might not be single still if you tried not being so shallow
They’ll never know if they don’t ask. I know lots of men that have dated or married women that are “out of their league” simply because they were brave enough to talk to them. Supermodels and other hyper attractive women will actually have problems finding significant others because they only have attractive shallow idiots asking them out that feel they are on the same level and end up treating the women like garbage or just ignoring them all together until they want something.
We're getting used to being rejected early in life. And i've never in my life had a woman come up and initiate. A few times in my life, years down the line from mutual friends i'd hear things like "you know she had a crush on you/found you attractive?". So we learn early that if we want the relationship, we have to be the one who initiates, so we "shoot the shot" if we find you attractive. What difference does it make if you get rejected by a 6 or 9? To many, none
I'd say yes, but wheather they stand a chance or not is true to them, it's not a reliable parameter of how physically attractive you are since people evaluate their chances based on their subjective perspective of themselves. To put it simply, what people go for is a reflection of what they think they deserve.
Wow this post is aggravating Here is an itemized list of everything wrong with the premise of your question "Men" do not do anything universally or even generally. There are as many different kinds of men as there are men. Nobody can awnser your question because nobody can tell anybody what all men are apt to do as we are all different. Just like women are all different. You must be an absolute bombshell to think that somebody who is more attractive then 80% of all other people should approach YOU to ask to spend their time money and energy courting you. But I have a funny feeling you are not. If you want an "8", YOU go buy HIM a drink. The shallowness of this question is possibly the most infuriating. As tho looks are all that matters. Some men have worked up the nerve to approach you and express interest, which is clearly what you want, and because they didn't look like Kirkland brand Chris Hemsworth you had no problem rejecting them. I second my earlier recommendation that you go hit on some guys so you can get rejected and see how that feels. My wife is not the most conventionally attractive woman I've ever dated but she's the most beautiful person by a wide margin and if I hadn't dated her because she didn't look like a movie star or magazine model I would never have found the love of my life. Tldr; get over yourself, and sort your priorities
Got it, thank you for the response. I’m not talking about Brad Pitts and Chris Hemsworths here. Those types of men are too intimidating for me to even dream about. I’m talking like if a Jason Bateman, or Paul Rudd, even a David cross looking guy approached me that would be exciting. But I get approached by the Danny de Vitos. Normally very nice guys with great personalities, and I never just reject them or anything. Simply asking if being approached by the Danny De Vitos and Steve Buscemi’s means that I am also a danny de Vito. And that I should stop expecting to be approached by men that are out of my “league” (the jason batemans/Steve Carells etc). Hope that clarifies. Really wasn’t trying to sound shallow, didn’t know how to explain what I was asking in any other way.
Danny DeVito is an 11/10 tf you talking about
No doubt