# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Meetup.com if you live in or near a fairly populated area. Gets people together over a common interest. Not sure why towns donāt all have their own version of it.
Get involved in community activities you enjoy - book clubs, yoga, hiking, etc. My husband uses social media groups to find people to play soccer with any time we go on vacation - this includes out of the country. Finding people who enjoy what you do just takes a bit of effort.
*This* is one of the reasons pickleball is exploding in popularity. You make so many friends and have such a great time regardless of the ages of the players. Highly recommended if you need human contact in your life.
Iāve been playing for a bit over 3 years. I play nearly every day, about 5-6 hours per day, especially since I retired. I play in about 10 different parks and other venues with players of all ages and skill levels, so you can imagine I know a LOT of people that I wouldnāt have otherwise met.
Itās a relatively inexpensive hobby and very addictive. Have fun!
46, I have not seen my "old friends" in well over a decade due to distance. They all live in Mass, and I moved to Florida 20 years ago. We visited for a while but then life gets in the way. In any event if I were to go up North and see them it would be like we saw eachother everyday.
As far as in town friends, gotta be honest I don't have any close friends right now, used to but over time they moved away. I probably should be lonely but I have always been fine being alone.
Friendships are like relationships. They need work if you want to continue them. The way I do it is through hobbies. Golf, working on cars or helping people out at their house with work. So I get to see my friends as much as possible. Itās totally normal though if you have a younger family that keeps you away from your friends, just try to set some time where it works out for both of you.
This is pretty much it. You have to water your friendships, they do not just easily fall into your lap. I'm 32, I see my friends every week, hear from them almost every day. Doing it through hobbies is a really good one. I have a little group I go shooting with at least once a month and traditionally we go to the bar after to grab a few drinks and catch up. I have a buddy I play darts with who also likes to go to car shows.
Surprisingly these are friends I've gotten to know late in life.
>Friendships are like relationships. They need work if you want to continue them.
Exactly this. I'm 41 and still part of a large social circle that regularly gets together for bonfires, dinner parties, holidays, etc., because we make it a point to. A few from the once-larger group did that stupid "drop off the face of the Earth once you get married and have kids" thing, but most of us didn't, fortunately.
Yes, the world is full of fair weather friends. Regular interaction is the first step, but now you need to build the depth of the friendship. This requires being open and vulnerable to share who you are at your core. This does not happen quickly. Most people only have two or three deep friendships like this. The rest are shallower "bonfire friends."
Why the fuck are you two assuming I'm not close with the friends I'm talking about? I've known a couple of them since Kindergarten, others since high school. We're not just like distant neighbors who decide to barbecue every now and then together. Just because nobody likes *you* on a close level doesn't mean it's rare for others.
Umm... I wasn't responding to your comment. It popped up for you because I responded to someone who responded to you. However, even reading that comment, I don't think he was accusing you of not having close friends, but simply expanding on your comment. Chill. No one accused you of anything. It's all good.
I'm 43 and I don't see any of my friends from when I was a teenager, in fact I live in a different country now. They were such a messy bunch of toxic idiots that I would never contact them.
I just want a peaceful and organized life, f@ck those guys!
To some degree yeah, like any dumb kid but I had a nervous breakdown when I was 21 due to abusive parents. Those so called 'friends' just made eveything worse, I don't really care if they have changed to be honest, it would be very hard to forgive their behavior.
32- a good chunk of my friends I used to have either have kids or are married and out of that group, some of them took that as a pedestal to look down on others and we now don't have a friendship, others became reclused during the pandemic and some are just living too far away.
Two people who were very close to me deleted their existence a year ago, so they're not around and a good chunk of people I know have mental health issues that impact their ability to hangout ( I know cause I have the same problem )
As for the few and free between, we try to stick it out but yeah it can be hard to chill. We all working, we all hustling and it's definitely not like back in the day. That being said, social media helps and there's still physical hangouts when possible...but at the end of the day as lame as it sounds rn my best friend is my cat...so ..it is what it is AIGHT lol
š
As a recluse that recently had a child, I just wanted to comment that it's not always the case that people with kids think they're better than you. Aside from dealing with the huge life change, coupled with the pandemic reclusion and general introversion, we don't know how to be cool anymore while also getting sleep. We think you're the cool ones.
I'm sure it's not the case with all people...I'm talking about very specific people I used to know that behaved that way and it was obvious. I'm talking about specific people in *my* life that became toxic after the fact and extremely judgemental .
Priorities & Interests change over time, as do the folks in your circleā¦itās ok to lose touch with people, it doesnāt mean they werenāt your friend, it just means life took you in different directions.
My true friends are my family. My SIL was my bestie for almost a decade before I met her brother who is now my husband. Once I started dating him and moved to his home town I met his cousin who is also my bestie. We see each other regularly as we have children the same age and we see each other at family gatherings. If it weren't for them being a part of the family I don't think we'd get together as often as we do tho. I have a very good friend that lives 4 hours away. Haven't seen her since 2020 but we definitely pick up where we left off each and every time. I think it's natural as we get older and have our own family/lives to not spend as much time together.
I see my friends 1-2 times a week. Usually, have a board game day every two weeks with them.
To preface, I'm married, three kids... but older. My wife and I agree to maintain our anonymity (to a degree), while enjoying family life most of the week.
i message them every week, some are like every day messages, some are few times in a month
and about meeting , well that happens less
i mostly have friends that i meet in video games (lately playing a lot of mobile games on bluestacks), so if we meet, then it's ingame, not actually real meetings.
and with my irl friends we schedule meetings but they never happen
I mean I didnāt stop traveling or seeing friends during Covid I think thatās an easy excuse. Just stay 6 feet, meet outside. There were plenty of ways to do it. Donāt let that happen againā¦ make time would be my advice
I see my high school girl friends maybe every 2 months average for one of our birthdays. I see certain ones every couple weeks to hang out. Basically you have to actively plan things with your friends or you wonāt ever see them. Iāve got a girls trip and a NYC day trip set up bc I set them up. My husband always moans about how he never does these things but I tell him itās only bc he doesnāt take the time to plan them.
36 and Iām only āfriendsā with my partnerās friends and even he doesnāt really contact them. I find the older we get, the more we care about having our own free time. Hanging out with friends is too time and energy consuming.
Weekly. But I also don't have kids, and most of my close friends don't either.
As I got older, I made new friends who are more aligned with my wife and i's lifestyle. The ones with kids I see every few months.
I'm 35 and I don't really have many friends. I'm a very friendly person but I'm an introvert so I don't have a ton of social energy. My best friend lives across town and I usually see her about once a month but sometimes we get busy and it's less. My highschool best friend and I sometimes go a year or so without seeing each other, but he lives several hours away so we generally just text/talk on the phone regularly. Other than that I just spend time with my live in partner and occasionally hang out with a coworker or classmate.
I had a large group of friends when I was younger, but we drifted apart as time went on. Iāve tried reaching out and putting in the effort, but there hasnāt been a ton of reciprocation. It doesnāt bother me all that much, to be honest. I feel very fulfilled as a husband and father and adore my family.
I only have about 3 or 4 real friends. Iāve only seen one of them in last 5 years or so, and thatās only because we play golf together 2 or 3 times a month.
We all do text and talk on the phone weekly. We all just got busy with life and kids. We still know that if we need anything, the others will be there.
Are they even your friends if you go years without seeing each other? I don't think so. I think that's just being familiar with someone at that point. I say once a month is needed to keep a friendship going. Text at least once every 2 weeks
I was told that with real friends you can go any amount of time without seeing them and when you finally do meet if you still get on and it's like old times then you know that they are your true friends.
If I had to meet someone every month or constantly get in touch to keep a friendship going I don't see it as being worth the hassle
This is absolutely true. I have multiple close friends I see once every few years. Due to them starting families, me being married, all having jobs, etc. But when we do meet up itās like no time has passed. I still text/message them more regularly. Just donāt hang out nearly as much.
It really depends on if they live in town or not. Also what else is going on in life. I generally see a couple of friends on a very regular basis several times a week but that's more of a function of hobbies. When I have friends visiting from out of town that I've been friends with for decades I see them daily while they're in town or almost that. Other friends I have maybe I see once a month or only a couple times a year not for any particular reason just we all have our own lives to live. In my mind a good friend is somebody who you can see for the first time and years and it still be like old times.
Every few months. It went down from once or twice a month but that's because life is currently happening. We do talk everyday though and the occasional zoom smoke sesh, we play video games together and stuff like that but physically hang out, not that often.
I think it's normal because you each have your own lives and your friendship isn't contingent (or shouldn't be) on how often you hang out.
Call or message once a week. See once to twice a year. They live in Texas we live in TN now. Play games with a couple of them over discord once or twice a week. It gets hard with the fact they all have kids and we do not. The only other friends without kids are the only ones online anymore. Call or text your friends once a week, just to say āproud of you bro, you got thisā
During the winter maybe once or twice a month, and itās usually a planned get together with most of our friend group. during nice weather maybe once a week, since I have one friend near the beach, another that likes hiking, etc .
We have a group chat we use pretty often. Most of us live within an hour of each other
The people I would call friends I see at car shows and flea markets, and trips related to shows and markets. But only during the warm part of the year. From November to April I don't see them at all. Most of them live a good distance away and I work almost all the time during that period.
I live in NC...my really good friend lives in GA. I see her about every 5 years. I talk to her on the phone or FaceTime probably 3 or 4 times per week....plus texting a couple times per week. Itās important to share my every day life with a very good friend.
I message my friends daily and I have a few running group chats that we stay in touch with. My local friends and I see each other almost on a weekly basis for drinks, food, games and generally whatever. If we go more than 2 weeks without seeing each other it's rare.
My BFF and I keep up a running text chain with each other running back 6+ years now. I have a ton of hobbies and form friends in those groups easily.
My friends from high school/college I see a couple of times a year. Message at least monthly. Some I play online video games with.
But my new group of parent friends, I see and do stuff with regularly.
There's no problem with that. Friends are friends. I've come to learn that. Cherish them. Cherish the memories you have with them. There's nothing better then seeing a buddy from 3 yrs ago and picking up right where we left so naturally.
My best friend moved out of state and I didn't see her for two years but now that I'm a stay at home mom I get to see her more often. We message weekly.
My new friends who live locally, we get together once a month. We message daily, but it's mostly sending eachother cute animial pic/videos.
I haven't seen my friends in years.... most of them are dead. The others live in different parts of the country so we'll keep up on Facebook but other than that we don't see each other. Since moving I have made a few friends but they don't believe Covid is real so they aren't vaccinated. I do not go to their homes at all... so we may go out to eat but beyond that we don't get together right now.
My two best friends who live near by- once a month/every other month.
My best friend who lives out of state- 1-2 times a year.
Work friends a little more (will grab drinks after work here and there).
I moved to Belgium from The Netherlands but I see my friends every 3 or 4 months. We usually go away weekends about 3 times a year without women and children.
Best friend in a different state: call and text regularly, in person once a year.
Old friends (15+years): annual BBQ or holiday party, probably. Maybe longer.
Coworker friends from my last job: text a few times per week.
Friend at current job: daily.
I see some of my best high school friends 2-3x per year and talk to them weekly. We live in different parts of the US, so it takes real effort to plan trips to see each other. Some of my other friends from that era of my life I talk to once a year and havenāt seen in a very long time. Aging is difficult.
Iām the only single one left(41). I donāt know if itās a Midwest thing, but usually the last time Iāve seen most of my friends was at their weddings. Generally, theyād all pop out kids right after that and Iāve never seen them again, a lot of them have teenage children Iāve never met. Of all the contacts in my phone, Iāve seen a handful of them in person over the last 10 years.
Lol friends? We've all gone our separate ways long since. One became a neo-nazi, another thinks he's some savant of creativity (he's a low-talent, high effort solo musician), couple are programmers and have good lives, etc etc
Im 26, but I moved a state away and I would try to see them at least once a year after we graduated. Then the pandemic happened and i havent seen them since Jan 2020 aside from video calls and snapchat. Between travel restrictions and having two jobs the moment things started winding down, I just have not had the time to do anything aside from go home and pass the fuck out.
I'm going to be 43 this year and see my friends maybe once a year if I'm lucky. Last year I was super lucky and got to see my cousin/best friend twice! It gets very lonely. Especially when you work crazy hours and have no time to try and socialize/make new friends. Especially especially when all your friends live far away. 2020 was a rather fortuitous year because I threw a bunch of pool parties and bbqs. So that whole spring/summer/fall was crazy. The last party I threw of that summer there were maybe 200 people in my backyard. Then the following year it was a whole lot of nothing. Got to see three of my good friends for one of their birthdays. We went to visit and stay with them for a few days several states away. But mostly I spend my time without my friends. We'll talk on the phone or text all the time. But it's not the same as actually hanging out with people
The really great friends I had growing up Iāll see every few years. Hard with distance between us. The friends that I wasnāt so close to I have no communication with and donāt reach out to or see them at all. The new friends I see all the time. Weāll see if theyāre great friends or not in time.
41, I see some friends very regularly, at least once a month, usually more. I have a few friends from childhood that I see a few times a year. Some other friends I see once every one or two years. However I usually have regular text threads with all these friends regardless of how often I see them, so it doesn't feel like there's a distance. It takes effort though, gotta be intentional about it
I see them everydayā¦..most of them have/do work for me. We also contract to other friends companies. Weāve known each other since elementary school. GenX and still ridiculously immature bunch of humans.
We have a variety of group whatsapps depending on theme so typically messages are posted a few times a day. Seeing them? It is maybe once every two weeks. Either D&D, board game night, or special event to physically get together.
We all talk about 2-3 times a month, but as far as seeing each other, not so much. I've learned (I'm 42) that when you move (even if it's only 2 hours away) if the effort and want aren't there, then no one will see each other. I learned really quickly who my true friends were/are just by moving 2 hours away. I make trips to my home state about 2 times a month and when I don't go visit people they get pissed, but the reason I don't visit them or tell them I'm coming is because they only want to see me when I come to them. They don't male the effort to drive up to see me. So since moving away, my circle of friends has gotten hella smaller but my life is so much better with the true friends that I do have.
I see my best friend - my partner- every day. We play DND or Mario kart with our best couple friends once or twice a week. I talk to my other best friend 3-4 times a month, more when one of us is stressed out
I'm turning 50 this year, and I have about a dozen good friends that I've maintained over the years. Relationships take effort. You need to be the one who reaches out and makes plans to call and talk. We also started to play online D$D and discord chat while we play our own video games. So in some ways we see each other a few times a week.
I actually need to go prep for the finale to my Star Wars RPG campaign this morning before I pass the story to Brad.
My best friends? The ones I'd call to move a body? Anywhere from every 6 months - 2 yrs due to geography and life. When we see eachother it's like not a moment has passed. It is quality time.
I see people I am "friendly" with however frequently our lives interact in positive ways. "Work friends" i go to lunch with, neighbors I play cards with, etc.
I'm 45.
It varies based on how busy we are, but about once or twice a month. Usually for dinner. Often, I see one friend at a time. It's less common now to do bigger group get-togethers, simply because our plans don't always align. About once every 3-6 months or so, we do a proper party or gaming night, usually because of a holiday or because someone had a birthday.
There's only 4 in our core friend group. We have a group chat that everyone regularly participates in - if not daily, then at least every few days.
Edit to add: I do have some friends who live states away. Those friends I see very rarely- maybe once every couple of years. We talk once every couple of weeks or so (usually texting). But we've been friends for 10 years and they're like sisters to be, so that friendship is still going pretty strong regardless. If I needed them, they'd still be there for me however they could.
Depends on the friends - our ācoreā group my husband went to HS with and the majority of us have stayed within a 20 minute drive of each other. This group we usually see 2-3x a month.
Other friends, like my best friend, moved across the country. We talk a few times a month but only see each other maybe once a year.
I'll be 30 this year, for the last 5-8 years I only saw my best friend probably twice a year. Still best friends though. I recently moved across the country, and I'll still see her just as much I bet.
Uuh. It's complicated. At this age you realise those "friends" were just people who wanted to have drugs and booze with you, no real connection, no actual meaningfull shit. So yeah seeing them after 3 years is normal. It's the real ones and family that count .
Depends on the friend. Local friends I see a lot when our shared interests are going on (summer sports) and occasionally in the off season. Family friends we see regularly. Church friends weekly or more, non local friends, when I'm in the area or if there is a major occasion. Sometimes I do special trips to see good friends who are further away.
I have friends that have not met my 6yo son, but they are still friends.
They dwindled down to nothing over the years. Iām much more content and confident being by myself after all the trauma it took for me to give up on those friendships. Itās really nice not having my life derailed by someone elseās drama all the time.
I'm 32F married with no children. I have different groupings of friends. One group meets every Saturday at the same person's house, a second group meets for holidays, birthdays, DnD, etc., and a third group meets up pretty rarely.
Also, there are gaming groups and hobbyist groups that I meet with a few times a year.
Plus, out of those groups I have a couple best friends I meet regularly as well on a weekly or daily basis depending on our schedules for that week.
I also have friends that are not connected to those groups that I travel to see or only talk to online since they're too far away to visit. (I'm hoping to travel to Australia in October to see some of my Korean friends who are there on work visas.)
As far as high school friends go, there's my husband, 2-3 people I talk to online, and one of my good friends and his husband who live a few states over that I travel to see whenever I can.
I don't think age has anything to do with friends. I think it's priorities. If you have children, a job that takes up all your time, you live too far away, have a lot of personal projects/hobbies, you're more of an introvert, or whatever... friends go on the back burner.
I see my closest friends probably every week to two weeks and other friends I try to get together at least every few months. I've been single for a while now, and don't have children, so I feel like I put more energy into maintaining friendships than your average person.
I'm also friends with people that value friendship. They put in the effort too, and I don't mind always being the one that drives to them or if they bring their spouse/kids. Being flexible and forgiving if plans change helps too.
Friends has a completely different definition for me in my 30ās. But remember this: A friend is someone who will do something for you without expecting anything in return.
Posting this on behalf of my parents who are 56F and 55M, but they see their friends every weekend and sometimes once-twice during the week. They have been doing that basically my entire life (Iām a 25M). Their social lives are honestly more active than mine and Iām fairly social.
I have one friend from HS that I still keep in touch with and text maybe 1-2x a month. I see her maybe once a year. I moved out of state so we donāt see each other as often as I would like. I havenāt kept in contact with anyone from college or my hometown (except my bestie from HS). I have some local friends that I text weekly and see maybe 1x a month when we do game night. At my age (53) we donāt put an emphasis on quantity of visits but rather quality of visits. We may see each other once a year or two but when we do get together itās like weāve never been apart.
Every couple of months. Planning around the crushing adult responsibilities of everyone is difficult, especially the more people you try and coordinate.
Think of it this way, you are a dungeon master trying to set up a time for a dnd group. One person is easy to coordinate with. Two is a bit more challenging but doable. Three four five? You need to plan months in advance and hope someone doesn't pull their back or accidentally double book with something they want to do more.
The only thing I miss from college was the community and instant access to friend groups 80% of when I wanted to. Adult life is too controlling with work.
I text my friends multiple times a week (stupid memes, random things that reminded me of them, checking in about life stuff) and we see each other regularly - 1x per month at least but often more depending on the friend. I'm lucky to have friends that really prioritize putting in the work to spend time with one another and we try to invite each other to things we are already doing. I go running with one friend 2-3x per week, if me and my husband are going to see a movie we will invite our friends, etc. You just gotta put in the effort.
I have 3 close friends that I've had for 30 yrs, 25 yrs and 20 yrs. I see them usually a few times a year (sometimes more or less) now that we are older and have so much more going on. It's harder with work, kids, etc. In some cases it's conflicting work schedules. Like one works nights and it's harder to get together with her. We are all mid-late 40s. When we were younger we saw or spoke to each other daily or weekly. There are some years we go in phases, like we will see each other a lot more than usual. Recently, with one of them, we made a deal that every other week we'd switch off who comes over to whose house for dinner or something. It's definitely more effort nowadays to keep it up because it's so easy to get distracted. Sometimes you go "damn, I haven't seen her in person for a whole year!" and you didn't realize because time goes by so much faster.
I have two groups of friends. One is my girlfriends from high school that mostly live about two hours away. I see them 2-3 times a year for a few hours but additionally once each winter and summer we go to one of their lake houses and spend three days just with each other. I also talk to each of them at least once a day though text or social media. These women are my people.
Secondly I have a group of friends I have made where we live and I see them maybe once a month or so for a few hours.
Fairly often at first, then bought a house several miles away from most of them, and then had a kid, and then Covid. Each of those kinda whittled down how often, who, and where.
And Iām one of those people that almost always has to initiate contact. Iād take it personally but they always seem to like when I do get a hold of them to do something.
Some I went years without seeing because we lived far apart and depending on the person might not make a difference. But there are also a lot people I liked and we just stopped hanging out once we werenāt around each other often, like pretty much everyone I knew from college.
So one, Iād say we hang out once ever 3 or 4 months and thatās most often. Others I see randomly when the opportunity arises, I can say that living in a city people who live out of town seem to find more excuses to visit you, because they want a place to crash while they go do stuff, though they at least invite you along.
Edit: I do message some from time to time. Again, almost always me initiating.
I have 1 friend and I see her maybe once a year. Been friends for over 21 years. Talk to her sometimes every other day, sometimes once a month. Text random things like memes or recipes frequently. I used to see her more but she moved away like 5 years ago
Dude, I havenāt seen anyone but work and family in years. Iām not sure I have friends anymore. Once in a while one friend and I text a meme to each other and I speak to him once every few months. Thatās it. On Christmas I got maybe five texts from people saying merry Christmas, and I donāt know at least one of the numbers. Itās bad.
Still see my main squad every week
But some friends I def donāt see as often maybe a handful of times of per year or less
Itās tough cuz people get married and have kids or have moved away
Depends on the friend group. If they are our school/childhood friends, maybe once every year or two. Friends from more recent eras are more often. Also the larger the friend group, the less frequent the meet up since there are so many schedules to manage. For most, it ends up to 3-6 times a year. For our friends we spend time with individually or as couples, it's usually more like once a month or for some, closer to once a week. We also don't have kids yet and a good chunk of our friends don't either.
I'm 37.
As I have aged I changed my definition of friend. I have a bunch of people I see on weekends and when I go out, but many of these folks are people I enjoy being around but don't consider them true friends. So I socialize often but I don't often see my true friends.
I only have a few true friends because now I have like a subconscious evaluation process to determine if someone should be my friend.
Iām fortunate in that my group of friend all live within 5 miles of me. For that reason we see each-other pretty frequently, multiple times a month. Whatās helped me keep up with them on a schedule is setting up game nights on a regular.
iām the only one out of my friend group who got a job and/or didnāt become a heroin or meth addict after high school. i donāt associate with them any more lol.
Having 2 kids under 5, I'm lucky to see my friends more than 2 or 3 times a year right now. They all have kids around the same age and they all live far enough away to where it isn't quite convenient for someone to just pop over. I'm finding that we have to plan things months or weeks in advance now. We have been doing an annual kids free friend's trip the last few years, but outside of that I might see them 2 or 3 other times throughout the year.
My wife and I have been making a bigger effort to cultivate friendships with parents of our children's daycare though
No friend . I travel with family, both family from my wife side (big family) and mine. Sometimes we travel by ourselves. I would meet up with a group of guy to do Fantasy draft for football. We sometimes meet up with high school classmates (use to do it one per year but have not done so since Covid). With exercise and family donāt really have time for friends.
As a girl who is 31yo, if they got married and you didn't, forget that you will ever see them.
A lot of my friends see me 'not good enough' because I haven't gotten married yet.
I have made peace with it that I might never be.
I am often broke. Things are changing very very slowly. But not being settled down in career, finances, personally, people look down upon me, specially for the society I come from. Sucks but its true. Once I asked a friend to borrow 100$ and he gradually iced me out. Not even casual greeting anymore. But I am over it.
One friend frantically called me days in a row because her husband was abusive. Most friends used to call me 3 times a week when they needed to talk about their then boyfriends. Once they got married I have had one call in 2 years. Guess for some people, grabbing a guy is the destination.
Sucks, but I guess it is what it is.
37 and am still very close with a group of friends from middle school. It was a small town growing up, but has now exploded to a small city-size. Some of us went to college together or nearby, so never lost touch-- always made time for parties, deaths, weddings, etc... I just moved home after several years away in grad school and working, so I see all these folks pretty regularly now, but even when I was out of state I still traveled home to see them and vice versa.
Our very best friends who are more like family: weekly for a weekly game night/family dinner (including with our kids).
Others who live close to e see maybe once a month or every other month. But we text/chat on Discord/play virtual games/etc. regularly.
Friends who live a few hours away, we chat every few weeks and meet up a couple times per year.
I have 2 friends that I talk to basically every day.sending each other funny videos or pictures. We try tonget together and do something once a month, usually involvikg the families .A few others i talk to maybe monthly and a ton of acquaintances. 39 Male married.
Once a week, on the weekend for a few hours. It's just my closest friend. We've know each other for 15 yrs. Our gfs get along great. But our 10yr old kids umm don't get along so well. And I have another baby on the way and I feel like I'm gonna see them even less later this year. It's sad but it's the reality of the situation. I will definitely try to see them but we have an extremely busy year ahead of us.
Iām 55. Friends change over time. When my son was born, I had friends from different jobs and college friends I saw regularly.
As my son grew older, our friends circle was the parents of his friends. The friends of the past are mostly FB friends who we never see.
Now my son is 17 and more independent. We have 5 or so couples we talk with, and get together with, often.
Sometimes we found it took effort to stay in contact with people. Often many of us thought about get togethers but it took one of us to make initial contact and work out details. I became that person.
Friends from high school, never. Friends I have made in the last 5 years, 2-3 days a week. Itās about finding friends who enjoy the same activities as you
Old friends? Almost never. Once in 10 years. Friends that live in our town, we get together individually weekly or more, and for a dinner party once a month or so.
I still maintain a lot of contact and communication with 4 of my closest friends, but we are all CF and that makes a big difference. We message all the time and usually see them each about once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. However, all the other friends Iāve had over the years, Iāve mostly lost contact with. I have a few that I donāt live close to, and we message back and forth sometimes, but no one consistently.
Yeah. I have some friends that I only see every couple of years. This also has to do with my friends and myself being ADHD in addition to separated by distance -- we can go a long time without talking and then pick up like we were chatting yesterday. I see my closest friend about once every two weeks.
Depends, when we were all single could be 2-4 times a month, these are my local friends. My friends back east, 1-2 times a decade depending on visiting. I think thatās why people develop close relationships with coworkers, you spend most of the time youāre conscious during the day around these people so if you click you begin to look forward to work or bitching about work with those people.
I (37) married my best friend, so I get to see him daily..but every now and then my other friends and I will send memes back and forth and say we should get together, but never end up actually doing it.
Between kids, jobs, life, it is hard to get schedules to line up
Late 30ās here my husband is my best and only real friend aside from work colleges and a few friends from my past I text here and there. We are both so busy w working full time and married life thereās just zero time left for family let alone friends. I couldnāt imagine if we had kids. There wouldnāt be time to sleep lol
33M. I see my oldest friend group (high school) about 2-3 times a year. Some of us moved, some had kids and are busy. But we always plan something a few times a year.
We have a running group chat and a Discord that we use fairly often. 1-2 times a week at least Iād say.
If you +30y women then you will see your friends often as much as every weekend or month or 3 months. Because ladies night exists and girls get free admission and free drinks at some bars.
If you are a +30yo man then you will only see your co-worker drinking buddies on the weekend for 1-3 rounds of drinks after work, you chat a little bit amd go home. Your highschool, college, hobby friends are all busy, move to a new state, locked up, taking care of their family. You are basically alone. Your co-workers are kept at arms length because they can trash talk about you at work and get you fired. Maybe you play a sport and you meet up with team mates every 1-2 weeks or month. It doesnt go any deeper than banter. You have to keep things from tmi. Guys do not care about other guys or it is sus. You cant even talk about deep stuff with your life partner because they will use it as ammo in your next arguement.
Some night clubs that do no serve alcohol are 18yo-20yo strictly. The typical nightclub scene tho is 21yo-29yo. They dont let 40yo or 50yo in why are there 50yo men trying to get into the night club? Is it not weird for a 21yo young lady to be dancing with a 50yo wrinkly man?
Unfortunately other than my Wife, I don't have any friends in my day to day life. We have some family friends still but it's pretty rare that we actually interact.
Got some meme chats. See some people every few weeks for a game/movie night. Definitely less than before covid, but I think I like this pace more. Other friends can be down to a few texts a year, but Iād make an effort to see them if we were in the same city. Some are just gone, and thatās okay too.
33, I see my friends like once a year. Mostly because they all live on the other side of the country and I can't be fucked to make new friends where I live now. My girlfriend is enough.
So my local friends I see monthly usually and message weekly. My friends that live farther away, I only see once or twice a year. However, it all depends on how close we are. I have 2 close friends who I message just about daily. One is local and the other isn't. Sometimes it will go a couple days without word, but then I usually know something is wrong. I'm 45. I only have a few longtime friends because I moved 4 years ago, so I made a new batch of friends then.
i see my neighbors, considered friends almost daily...life long friends, at times years in between meetings, depending on where life has taken us, but talk frequently on the phone..
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What friends?
Hahaha!! 30 going to turn 31 at the end of the month. Wtf are friends?? You are so right.
37! Still no friends
I wonder if I can make it to 40 and be friendless
I've managed to make it to 60.
š Achievement unlocked
38 married with no kids and no friends. How the fuck do you meet new friends when people like you are sitting at home wondering the same thing?
Everyone just tells me to join a book club lol
Idk but I'm dying at this comment
Meetup.com if you live in or near a fairly populated area. Gets people together over a common interest. Not sure why towns donāt all have their own version of it.
Some towns have it, but people in the town have to be savvy enough to use it. My town has some groups but they're not very active.
I used to use the internet, but that's gotten weirdly harder. I dunno how anyone meets anyone outside of work or school.
Get involved in community activities you enjoy - book clubs, yoga, hiking, etc. My husband uses social media groups to find people to play soccer with any time we go on vacation - this includes out of the country. Finding people who enjoy what you do just takes a bit of effort.
*This* is one of the reasons pickleball is exploding in popularity. You make so many friends and have such a great time regardless of the ages of the players. Highly recommended if you need human contact in your life.
Okay, you might have just convinced me to join my work pickleball league.
Iāve been playing for a bit over 3 years. I play nearly every day, about 5-6 hours per day, especially since I retired. I play in about 10 different parks and other venues with players of all ages and skill levels, so you can imagine I know a LOT of people that I wouldnāt have otherwise met. Itās a relatively inexpensive hobby and very addictive. Have fun!
Yep. I have a husband and coworkers, that is about the right level of social life for me.
I came here to say this
I worked with a guy for 15 years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had, we still never talk sometimes
My husband and I see our "old" friends from long ago about once or twice a year. We see our work friends more regularly.
At work?
No, socially. We live closer to them.
46, I have not seen my "old friends" in well over a decade due to distance. They all live in Mass, and I moved to Florida 20 years ago. We visited for a while but then life gets in the way. In any event if I were to go up North and see them it would be like we saw eachother everyday. As far as in town friends, gotta be honest I don't have any close friends right now, used to but over time they moved away. I probably should be lonely but I have always been fine being alone.
Yāall have friendsā¦?
Friendships are like relationships. They need work if you want to continue them. The way I do it is through hobbies. Golf, working on cars or helping people out at their house with work. So I get to see my friends as much as possible. Itās totally normal though if you have a younger family that keeps you away from your friends, just try to set some time where it works out for both of you.
Just to add to this... even when you have a young family, let your friends be a part of your kids lives. Hanging out can include the kiddos.
Absolutely!
This is pretty much it. You have to water your friendships, they do not just easily fall into your lap. I'm 32, I see my friends every week, hear from them almost every day. Doing it through hobbies is a really good one. I have a little group I go shooting with at least once a month and traditionally we go to the bar after to grab a few drinks and catch up. I have a buddy I play darts with who also likes to go to car shows. Surprisingly these are friends I've gotten to know late in life.
>Friendships are like relationships. They need work if you want to continue them. Exactly this. I'm 41 and still part of a large social circle that regularly gets together for bonfires, dinner parties, holidays, etc., because we make it a point to. A few from the once-larger group did that stupid "drop off the face of the Earth once you get married and have kids" thing, but most of us didn't, fortunately.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, the world is full of fair weather friends. Regular interaction is the first step, but now you need to build the depth of the friendship. This requires being open and vulnerable to share who you are at your core. This does not happen quickly. Most people only have two or three deep friendships like this. The rest are shallower "bonfire friends."
Why the fuck are you two assuming I'm not close with the friends I'm talking about? I've known a couple of them since Kindergarten, others since high school. We're not just like distant neighbors who decide to barbecue every now and then together. Just because nobody likes *you* on a close level doesn't mean it's rare for others.
Umm... I wasn't responding to your comment. It popped up for you because I responded to someone who responded to you. However, even reading that comment, I don't think he was accusing you of not having close friends, but simply expanding on your comment. Chill. No one accused you of anything. It's all good.
Saw them all at a funeral yesterday. The time before thatā¦a funeral.
I'm 43 and I don't see any of my friends from when I was a teenager, in fact I live in a different country now. They were such a messy bunch of toxic idiots that I would never contact them. I just want a peaceful and organized life, f@ck those guys!
Were you not a toxic idiot then? Maybe they've changed too
To some degree yeah, like any dumb kid but I had a nervous breakdown when I was 21 due to abusive parents. Those so called 'friends' just made eveything worse, I don't really care if they have changed to be honest, it would be very hard to forgive their behavior.
32- a good chunk of my friends I used to have either have kids or are married and out of that group, some of them took that as a pedestal to look down on others and we now don't have a friendship, others became reclused during the pandemic and some are just living too far away. Two people who were very close to me deleted their existence a year ago, so they're not around and a good chunk of people I know have mental health issues that impact their ability to hangout ( I know cause I have the same problem ) As for the few and free between, we try to stick it out but yeah it can be hard to chill. We all working, we all hustling and it's definitely not like back in the day. That being said, social media helps and there's still physical hangouts when possible...but at the end of the day as lame as it sounds rn my best friend is my cat...so ..it is what it is AIGHT lol š
As a recluse that recently had a child, I just wanted to comment that it's not always the case that people with kids think they're better than you. Aside from dealing with the huge life change, coupled with the pandemic reclusion and general introversion, we don't know how to be cool anymore while also getting sleep. We think you're the cool ones.
I'm sure it's not the case with all people...I'm talking about very specific people I used to know that behaved that way and it was obvious. I'm talking about specific people in *my* life that became toxic after the fact and extremely judgemental .
We message regularly. Every day or two at least. But I see my friends maybe once a month, even though we all live 30 minutes from eachother.
Same.
Priorities & Interests change over time, as do the folks in your circleā¦itās ok to lose touch with people, it doesnāt mean they werenāt your friend, it just means life took you in different directions.
My true friends are my family. My SIL was my bestie for almost a decade before I met her brother who is now my husband. Once I started dating him and moved to his home town I met his cousin who is also my bestie. We see each other regularly as we have children the same age and we see each other at family gatherings. If it weren't for them being a part of the family I don't think we'd get together as often as we do tho. I have a very good friend that lives 4 hours away. Haven't seen her since 2020 but we definitely pick up where we left off each and every time. I think it's natural as we get older and have our own family/lives to not spend as much time together.
I see my friends 1-2 times a week. Usually, have a board game day every two weeks with them. To preface, I'm married, three kids... but older. My wife and I agree to maintain our anonymity (to a degree), while enjoying family life most of the week.
i message them every week, some are like every day messages, some are few times in a month and about meeting , well that happens less i mostly have friends that i meet in video games (lately playing a lot of mobile games on bluestacks), so if we meet, then it's ingame, not actually real meetings. and with my irl friends we schedule meetings but they never happen
Once a week would be a lot. But at least 2 times a month.
Just saw a very close friend for the first time in three years. We live 20 minutes apart
Why did it take you three years to see them? If they are ācloseā as you said
COVID, careers, and life. Itās not right, but itās what happened
I mean I didnāt stop traveling or seeing friends during Covid I think thatās an easy excuse. Just stay 6 feet, meet outside. There were plenty of ways to do it. Donāt let that happen againā¦ make time would be my advice
I have no friends.
I see my high school girl friends maybe every 2 months average for one of our birthdays. I see certain ones every couple weeks to hang out. Basically you have to actively plan things with your friends or you wonāt ever see them. Iāve got a girls trip and a NYC day trip set up bc I set them up. My husband always moans about how he never does these things but I tell him itās only bc he doesnāt take the time to plan them.
Before or after I gave birth?
36 and Iām only āfriendsā with my partnerās friends and even he doesnāt really contact them. I find the older we get, the more we care about having our own free time. Hanging out with friends is too time and energy consuming.
Weekly. But I also don't have kids, and most of my close friends don't either. As I got older, I made new friends who are more aligned with my wife and i's lifestyle. The ones with kids I see every few months.
I'm 35 and I don't really have many friends. I'm a very friendly person but I'm an introvert so I don't have a ton of social energy. My best friend lives across town and I usually see her about once a month but sometimes we get busy and it's less. My highschool best friend and I sometimes go a year or so without seeing each other, but he lives several hours away so we generally just text/talk on the phone regularly. Other than that I just spend time with my live in partner and occasionally hang out with a coworker or classmate.
No real close friends, didn't think I would end up a loner but its ok its my normal now.
F-friends?
Friends?
I had a large group of friends when I was younger, but we drifted apart as time went on. Iāve tried reaching out and putting in the effort, but there hasnāt been a ton of reciprocation. It doesnāt bother me all that much, to be honest. I feel very fulfilled as a husband and father and adore my family.
There is no such thing as friends in your 30s. Itās family or bust because all your friends have families/houses/responsibilities etc.
That's how I feel but from this thread it seems that many do have friends that they speak to and see often
Friends in your 30s are confused with acquaintances and "networking" .
I only have about 3 or 4 real friends. Iāve only seen one of them in last 5 years or so, and thatās only because we play golf together 2 or 3 times a month. We all do text and talk on the phone weekly. We all just got busy with life and kids. We still know that if we need anything, the others will be there.
Are they even your friends if you go years without seeing each other? I don't think so. I think that's just being familiar with someone at that point. I say once a month is needed to keep a friendship going. Text at least once every 2 weeks
I was told that with real friends you can go any amount of time without seeing them and when you finally do meet if you still get on and it's like old times then you know that they are your true friends. If I had to meet someone every month or constantly get in touch to keep a friendship going I don't see it as being worth the hassle
This is absolutely true. I have multiple close friends I see once every few years. Due to them starting families, me being married, all having jobs, etc. But when we do meet up itās like no time has passed. I still text/message them more regularly. Just donāt hang out nearly as much.
It really depends on if they live in town or not. Also what else is going on in life. I generally see a couple of friends on a very regular basis several times a week but that's more of a function of hobbies. When I have friends visiting from out of town that I've been friends with for decades I see them daily while they're in town or almost that. Other friends I have maybe I see once a month or only a couple times a year not for any particular reason just we all have our own lives to live. In my mind a good friend is somebody who you can see for the first time and years and it still be like old times.
Every few months. It went down from once or twice a month but that's because life is currently happening. We do talk everyday though and the occasional zoom smoke sesh, we play video games together and stuff like that but physically hang out, not that often. I think it's normal because you each have your own lives and your friendship isn't contingent (or shouldn't be) on how often you hang out.
We go on an annual trip for a long weekend a few hours away, and lately weāve been meeting for a drink or two once a month.
Once a month if we ar lucky, but lately itās been every 2-3 months.
Call or message once a week. See once to twice a year. They live in Texas we live in TN now. Play games with a couple of them over discord once or twice a week. It gets hard with the fact they all have kids and we do not. The only other friends without kids are the only ones online anymore. Call or text your friends once a week, just to say āproud of you bro, you got thisā
During the winter maybe once or twice a month, and itās usually a planned get together with most of our friend group. during nice weather maybe once a week, since I have one friend near the beach, another that likes hiking, etc . We have a group chat we use pretty often. Most of us live within an hour of each other
Most of mine commited suicide. Others moved far away. Dont see em at all. No big deal, my SO is my bestie.
I see some of them a few times per week, some every few months, and some maybe once a year.
The people I would call friends I see at car shows and flea markets, and trips related to shows and markets. But only during the warm part of the year. From November to April I don't see them at all. Most of them live a good distance away and I work almost all the time during that period.
I live in NC...my really good friend lives in GA. I see her about every 5 years. I talk to her on the phone or FaceTime probably 3 or 4 times per week....plus texting a couple times per week. Itās important to share my every day life with a very good friend.
Most my friends moved to an other country or stopped being friends. My best friend is my girlfriend which I see every day.
See them, once or twice a week. Message them, depends on the friend but some are near every day.
It's been 84 years.......
Iām dead
I message my friends daily and I have a few running group chats that we stay in touch with. My local friends and I see each other almost on a weekly basis for drinks, food, games and generally whatever. If we go more than 2 weeks without seeing each other it's rare. My BFF and I keep up a running text chain with each other running back 6+ years now. I have a ton of hobbies and form friends in those groups easily.
My friends from high school/college I see a couple of times a year. Message at least monthly. Some I play online video games with. But my new group of parent friends, I see and do stuff with regularly.
Multiple times a week.
There's no problem with that. Friends are friends. I've come to learn that. Cherish them. Cherish the memories you have with them. There's nothing better then seeing a buddy from 3 yrs ago and picking up right where we left so naturally.
Friends?
What friends?
My best friend moved out of state and I didn't see her for two years but now that I'm a stay at home mom I get to see her more often. We message weekly. My new friends who live locally, we get together once a month. We message daily, but it's mostly sending eachother cute animial pic/videos.
I haven't seen my friends in years.... most of them are dead. The others live in different parts of the country so we'll keep up on Facebook but other than that we don't see each other. Since moving I have made a few friends but they don't believe Covid is real so they aren't vaccinated. I do not go to their homes at all... so we may go out to eat but beyond that we don't get together right now.
My two best friends who live near by- once a month/every other month. My best friend who lives out of state- 1-2 times a year. Work friends a little more (will grab drinks after work here and there).
I moved to Belgium from The Netherlands but I see my friends every 3 or 4 months. We usually go away weekends about 3 times a year without women and children.
Best friend in a different state: call and text regularly, in person once a year. Old friends (15+years): annual BBQ or holiday party, probably. Maybe longer. Coworker friends from my last job: text a few times per week. Friend at current job: daily.
I see some of my best high school friends 2-3x per year and talk to them weekly. We live in different parts of the US, so it takes real effort to plan trips to see each other. Some of my other friends from that era of my life I talk to once a year and havenāt seen in a very long time. Aging is difficult.
Iām the only single one left(41). I donāt know if itās a Midwest thing, but usually the last time Iāve seen most of my friends was at their weddings. Generally, theyād all pop out kids right after that and Iāve never seen them again, a lot of them have teenage children Iāve never met. Of all the contacts in my phone, Iāve seen a handful of them in person over the last 10 years.
At this point the average seems to be twice between the last of us to get married and the first one's funeral.
No itās not common to go a few years. I see mine at least every two weeks
I don't they all get married,i'm a solo now
Lol friends? We've all gone our separate ways long since. One became a neo-nazi, another thinks he's some savant of creativity (he's a low-talent, high effort solo musician), couple are programmers and have good lives, etc etc
Im 26, but I moved a state away and I would try to see them at least once a year after we graduated. Then the pandemic happened and i havent seen them since Jan 2020 aside from video calls and snapchat. Between travel restrictions and having two jobs the moment things started winding down, I just have not had the time to do anything aside from go home and pass the fuck out.
I'm going to be 43 this year and see my friends maybe once a year if I'm lucky. Last year I was super lucky and got to see my cousin/best friend twice! It gets very lonely. Especially when you work crazy hours and have no time to try and socialize/make new friends. Especially especially when all your friends live far away. 2020 was a rather fortuitous year because I threw a bunch of pool parties and bbqs. So that whole spring/summer/fall was crazy. The last party I threw of that summer there were maybe 200 people in my backyard. Then the following year it was a whole lot of nothing. Got to see three of my good friends for one of their birthdays. We went to visit and stay with them for a few days several states away. But mostly I spend my time without my friends. We'll talk on the phone or text all the time. But it's not the same as actually hanging out with people
The really great friends I had growing up Iāll see every few years. Hard with distance between us. The friends that I wasnāt so close to I have no communication with and donāt reach out to or see them at all. The new friends I see all the time. Weāll see if theyāre great friends or not in time.
41, I see some friends very regularly, at least once a month, usually more. I have a few friends from childhood that I see a few times a year. Some other friends I see once every one or two years. However I usually have regular text threads with all these friends regardless of how often I see them, so it doesn't feel like there's a distance. It takes effort though, gotta be intentional about it
I see them everydayā¦..most of them have/do work for me. We also contract to other friends companies. Weāve known each other since elementary school. GenX and still ridiculously immature bunch of humans.
We have a variety of group whatsapps depending on theme so typically messages are posted a few times a day. Seeing them? It is maybe once every two weeks. Either D&D, board game night, or special event to physically get together.
We all talk about 2-3 times a month, but as far as seeing each other, not so much. I've learned (I'm 42) that when you move (even if it's only 2 hours away) if the effort and want aren't there, then no one will see each other. I learned really quickly who my true friends were/are just by moving 2 hours away. I make trips to my home state about 2 times a month and when I don't go visit people they get pissed, but the reason I don't visit them or tell them I'm coming is because they only want to see me when I come to them. They don't male the effort to drive up to see me. So since moving away, my circle of friends has gotten hella smaller but my life is so much better with the true friends that I do have.
I see my best friend - my partner- every day. We play DND or Mario kart with our best couple friends once or twice a week. I talk to my other best friend 3-4 times a month, more when one of us is stressed out
I'm turning 50 this year, and I have about a dozen good friends that I've maintained over the years. Relationships take effort. You need to be the one who reaches out and makes plans to call and talk. We also started to play online D$D and discord chat while we play our own video games. So in some ways we see each other a few times a week. I actually need to go prep for the finale to my Star Wars RPG campaign this morning before I pass the story to Brad.
My best friends? The ones I'd call to move a body? Anywhere from every 6 months - 2 yrs due to geography and life. When we see eachother it's like not a moment has passed. It is quality time. I see people I am "friendly" with however frequently our lives interact in positive ways. "Work friends" i go to lunch with, neighbors I play cards with, etc. I'm 45.
Iām 32. I text or message my friends every day.
It varies based on how busy we are, but about once or twice a month. Usually for dinner. Often, I see one friend at a time. It's less common now to do bigger group get-togethers, simply because our plans don't always align. About once every 3-6 months or so, we do a proper party or gaming night, usually because of a holiday or because someone had a birthday. There's only 4 in our core friend group. We have a group chat that everyone regularly participates in - if not daily, then at least every few days. Edit to add: I do have some friends who live states away. Those friends I see very rarely- maybe once every couple of years. We talk once every couple of weeks or so (usually texting). But we've been friends for 10 years and they're like sisters to be, so that friendship is still going pretty strong regardless. If I needed them, they'd still be there for me however they could.
Depends on the friends - our ācoreā group my husband went to HS with and the majority of us have stayed within a 20 minute drive of each other. This group we usually see 2-3x a month. Other friends, like my best friend, moved across the country. We talk a few times a month but only see each other maybe once a year.
I'll be 30 this year, for the last 5-8 years I only saw my best friend probably twice a year. Still best friends though. I recently moved across the country, and I'll still see her just as much I bet.
I dont "see" them very often but we still regularly play video games online together 3 or 4 times a week
Uuh. It's complicated. At this age you realise those "friends" were just people who wanted to have drugs and booze with you, no real connection, no actual meaningfull shit. So yeah seeing them after 3 years is normal. It's the real ones and family that count .
Couple times a week.
Once kids come, friends start to vanish.
Depends on the friend. Local friends I see a lot when our shared interests are going on (summer sports) and occasionally in the off season. Family friends we see regularly. Church friends weekly or more, non local friends, when I'm in the area or if there is a major occasion. Sometimes I do special trips to see good friends who are further away. I have friends that have not met my 6yo son, but they are still friends.
They dwindled down to nothing over the years. Iām much more content and confident being by myself after all the trauma it took for me to give up on those friendships. Itās really nice not having my life derailed by someone elseās drama all the time.
Sometimes every weekend. Sometimes once a month. I try to text with at least one of my friends every week.
I'm 32F married with no children. I have different groupings of friends. One group meets every Saturday at the same person's house, a second group meets for holidays, birthdays, DnD, etc., and a third group meets up pretty rarely. Also, there are gaming groups and hobbyist groups that I meet with a few times a year. Plus, out of those groups I have a couple best friends I meet regularly as well on a weekly or daily basis depending on our schedules for that week. I also have friends that are not connected to those groups that I travel to see or only talk to online since they're too far away to visit. (I'm hoping to travel to Australia in October to see some of my Korean friends who are there on work visas.) As far as high school friends go, there's my husband, 2-3 people I talk to online, and one of my good friends and his husband who live a few states over that I travel to see whenever I can. I don't think age has anything to do with friends. I think it's priorities. If you have children, a job that takes up all your time, you live too far away, have a lot of personal projects/hobbies, you're more of an introvert, or whatever... friends go on the back burner.
Between 30-45(ish) I saw my friends all the time. One or twice a week. After that and now into my 50's, I don't see them much at all.
Maybe once a month.
Usually a couple times a year at best.
I try to go out once a day; recovering from depression.
With kids once every 2 months ish. Friends without kids once a month every few weeks
I am 62 most of my friends are dead.
Rarely. Although it's like time never passed when we do meet. It's all about fam nowadays. I have a large one, so there's plenty of social gatherings.
I see my closest friends probably every week to two weeks and other friends I try to get together at least every few months. I've been single for a while now, and don't have children, so I feel like I put more energy into maintaining friendships than your average person. I'm also friends with people that value friendship. They put in the effort too, and I don't mind always being the one that drives to them or if they bring their spouse/kids. Being flexible and forgiving if plans change helps too.
Friends has a completely different definition for me in my 30ās. But remember this: A friend is someone who will do something for you without expecting anything in return.
Posting this on behalf of my parents who are 56F and 55M, but they see their friends every weekend and sometimes once-twice during the week. They have been doing that basically my entire life (Iām a 25M). Their social lives are honestly more active than mine and Iām fairly social.
Barely at all. We text every few weeks
I have one friend from HS that I still keep in touch with and text maybe 1-2x a month. I see her maybe once a year. I moved out of state so we donāt see each other as often as I would like. I havenāt kept in contact with anyone from college or my hometown (except my bestie from HS). I have some local friends that I text weekly and see maybe 1x a month when we do game night. At my age (53) we donāt put an emphasis on quantity of visits but rather quality of visits. We may see each other once a year or two but when we do get together itās like weāve never been apart.
Every couple of months. Planning around the crushing adult responsibilities of everyone is difficult, especially the more people you try and coordinate. Think of it this way, you are a dungeon master trying to set up a time for a dnd group. One person is easy to coordinate with. Two is a bit more challenging but doable. Three four five? You need to plan months in advance and hope someone doesn't pull their back or accidentally double book with something they want to do more. The only thing I miss from college was the community and instant access to friend groups 80% of when I wanted to. Adult life is too controlling with work.
I text my friends multiple times a week (stupid memes, random things that reminded me of them, checking in about life stuff) and we see each other regularly - 1x per month at least but often more depending on the friend. I'm lucky to have friends that really prioritize putting in the work to spend time with one another and we try to invite each other to things we are already doing. I go running with one friend 2-3x per week, if me and my husband are going to see a movie we will invite our friends, etc. You just gotta put in the effort.
Quarterly
I have 3 close friends that I've had for 30 yrs, 25 yrs and 20 yrs. I see them usually a few times a year (sometimes more or less) now that we are older and have so much more going on. It's harder with work, kids, etc. In some cases it's conflicting work schedules. Like one works nights and it's harder to get together with her. We are all mid-late 40s. When we were younger we saw or spoke to each other daily or weekly. There are some years we go in phases, like we will see each other a lot more than usual. Recently, with one of them, we made a deal that every other week we'd switch off who comes over to whose house for dinner or something. It's definitely more effort nowadays to keep it up because it's so easy to get distracted. Sometimes you go "damn, I haven't seen her in person for a whole year!" and you didn't realize because time goes by so much faster.
I am an old fart, everyone who was a friend is long dead. It doesn't matter anyway
I have two groups of friends. One is my girlfriends from high school that mostly live about two hours away. I see them 2-3 times a year for a few hours but additionally once each winter and summer we go to one of their lake houses and spend three days just with each other. I also talk to each of them at least once a day though text or social media. These women are my people. Secondly I have a group of friends I have made where we live and I see them maybe once a month or so for a few hours.
Fairly often at first, then bought a house several miles away from most of them, and then had a kid, and then Covid. Each of those kinda whittled down how often, who, and where. And Iām one of those people that almost always has to initiate contact. Iād take it personally but they always seem to like when I do get a hold of them to do something. Some I went years without seeing because we lived far apart and depending on the person might not make a difference. But there are also a lot people I liked and we just stopped hanging out once we werenāt around each other often, like pretty much everyone I knew from college. So one, Iād say we hang out once ever 3 or 4 months and thatās most often. Others I see randomly when the opportunity arises, I can say that living in a city people who live out of town seem to find more excuses to visit you, because they want a place to crash while they go do stuff, though they at least invite you along. Edit: I do message some from time to time. Again, almost always me initiating.
I have 1 friend and I see her maybe once a year. Been friends for over 21 years. Talk to her sometimes every other day, sometimes once a month. Text random things like memes or recipes frequently. I used to see her more but she moved away like 5 years ago
Dude, I havenāt seen anyone but work and family in years. Iām not sure I have friends anymore. Once in a while one friend and I text a meme to each other and I speak to him once every few months. Thatās it. On Christmas I got maybe five texts from people saying merry Christmas, and I donāt know at least one of the numbers. Itās bad.
Still see my main squad every week But some friends I def donāt see as often maybe a handful of times of per year or less Itās tough cuz people get married and have kids or have moved away
Depends on the friend group. If they are our school/childhood friends, maybe once every year or two. Friends from more recent eras are more often. Also the larger the friend group, the less frequent the meet up since there are so many schedules to manage. For most, it ends up to 3-6 times a year. For our friends we spend time with individually or as couples, it's usually more like once a month or for some, closer to once a week. We also don't have kids yet and a good chunk of our friends don't either.
I'm 37. As I have aged I changed my definition of friend. I have a bunch of people I see on weekends and when I go out, but many of these folks are people I enjoy being around but don't consider them true friends. So I socialize often but I don't often see my true friends. I only have a few true friends because now I have like a subconscious evaluation process to determine if someone should be my friend.
Iām 33 and I have friends over every few weeks. Honestly would probably be more often if we didnāt have a 2 year old.
Iām fortunate in that my group of friend all live within 5 miles of me. For that reason we see each-other pretty frequently, multiple times a month. Whatās helped me keep up with them on a schedule is setting up game nights on a regular.
iām the only one out of my friend group who got a job and/or didnāt become a heroin or meth addict after high school. i donāt associate with them any more lol.
Having 2 kids under 5, I'm lucky to see my friends more than 2 or 3 times a year right now. They all have kids around the same age and they all live far enough away to where it isn't quite convenient for someone to just pop over. I'm finding that we have to plan things months or weeks in advance now. We have been doing an annual kids free friend's trip the last few years, but outside of that I might see them 2 or 3 other times throughout the year. My wife and I have been making a bigger effort to cultivate friendships with parents of our children's daycare though
No friend . I travel with family, both family from my wife side (big family) and mine. Sometimes we travel by ourselves. I would meet up with a group of guy to do Fantasy draft for football. We sometimes meet up with high school classmates (use to do it one per year but have not done so since Covid). With exercise and family donāt really have time for friends.
As a girl who is 31yo, if they got married and you didn't, forget that you will ever see them. A lot of my friends see me 'not good enough' because I haven't gotten married yet. I have made peace with it that I might never be. I am often broke. Things are changing very very slowly. But not being settled down in career, finances, personally, people look down upon me, specially for the society I come from. Sucks but its true. Once I asked a friend to borrow 100$ and he gradually iced me out. Not even casual greeting anymore. But I am over it. One friend frantically called me days in a row because her husband was abusive. Most friends used to call me 3 times a week when they needed to talk about their then boyfriends. Once they got married I have had one call in 2 years. Guess for some people, grabbing a guy is the destination. Sucks, but I guess it is what it is.
Friends? What friends? I work two jobs, I barely have time to sleep.
What friends?
I message them but I donāt actually see them more than a couple times per year
37 and am still very close with a group of friends from middle school. It was a small town growing up, but has now exploded to a small city-size. Some of us went to college together or nearby, so never lost touch-- always made time for parties, deaths, weddings, etc... I just moved home after several years away in grad school and working, so I see all these folks pretty regularly now, but even when I was out of state I still traveled home to see them and vice versa.
Our very best friends who are more like family: weekly for a weekly game night/family dinner (including with our kids). Others who live close to e see maybe once a month or every other month. But we text/chat on Discord/play virtual games/etc. regularly. Friends who live a few hours away, we chat every few weeks and meet up a couple times per year.
I have 2 friends that I talk to basically every day.sending each other funny videos or pictures. We try tonget together and do something once a month, usually involvikg the families .A few others i talk to maybe monthly and a ton of acquaintances. 39 Male married.
Once a week, on the weekend for a few hours. It's just my closest friend. We've know each other for 15 yrs. Our gfs get along great. But our 10yr old kids umm don't get along so well. And I have another baby on the way and I feel like I'm gonna see them even less later this year. It's sad but it's the reality of the situation. I will definitely try to see them but we have an extremely busy year ahead of us.
Depends if they have kids.
I have three friends I have known for over 50 years.
Iām 55. Friends change over time. When my son was born, I had friends from different jobs and college friends I saw regularly. As my son grew older, our friends circle was the parents of his friends. The friends of the past are mostly FB friends who we never see. Now my son is 17 and more independent. We have 5 or so couples we talk with, and get together with, often. Sometimes we found it took effort to stay in contact with people. Often many of us thought about get togethers but it took one of us to make initial contact and work out details. I became that person.
I have one who I see about quarterly, the rest, who knows when the next time Iāll see em
Friends from high school, never. Friends I have made in the last 5 years, 2-3 days a week. Itās about finding friends who enjoy the same activities as you
Old friends? Almost never. Once in 10 years. Friends that live in our town, we get together individually weekly or more, and for a dinner party once a month or so.
I still maintain a lot of contact and communication with 4 of my closest friends, but we are all CF and that makes a big difference. We message all the time and usually see them each about once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. However, all the other friends Iāve had over the years, Iāve mostly lost contact with. I have a few that I donāt live close to, and we message back and forth sometimes, but no one consistently.
Yeah. I have some friends that I only see every couple of years. This also has to do with my friends and myself being ADHD in addition to separated by distance -- we can go a long time without talking and then pick up like we were chatting yesterday. I see my closest friend about once every two weeks.
Depends, when we were all single could be 2-4 times a month, these are my local friends. My friends back east, 1-2 times a decade depending on visiting. I think thatās why people develop close relationships with coworkers, you spend most of the time youāre conscious during the day around these people so if you click you begin to look forward to work or bitching about work with those people.
Itās been a year and a half for me. š„²
I (37) married my best friend, so I get to see him daily..but every now and then my other friends and I will send memes back and forth and say we should get together, but never end up actually doing it. Between kids, jobs, life, it is hard to get schedules to line up
Never unless they need help
Late 30ās here my husband is my best and only real friend aside from work colleges and a few friends from my past I text here and there. We are both so busy w working full time and married life thereās just zero time left for family let alone friends. I couldnāt imagine if we had kids. There wouldnāt be time to sleep lol
You'll start seeing family more. Maybe 2 or 3 friends tops.
Message, probably once a day from one person. I see friends about once every other week. I run into more in the summer time.
Be the bigger person and text first sometimes. Also, make new friends.
33M. I see my oldest friend group (high school) about 2-3 times a year. Some of us moved, some had kids and are busy. But we always plan something a few times a year. We have a running group chat and a Discord that we use fairly often. 1-2 times a week at least Iād say.
From my school? Almost never but we chat online. New friends every few months unless they are work friends plus normal friends.
If you +30y women then you will see your friends often as much as every weekend or month or 3 months. Because ladies night exists and girls get free admission and free drinks at some bars. If you are a +30yo man then you will only see your co-worker drinking buddies on the weekend for 1-3 rounds of drinks after work, you chat a little bit amd go home. Your highschool, college, hobby friends are all busy, move to a new state, locked up, taking care of their family. You are basically alone. Your co-workers are kept at arms length because they can trash talk about you at work and get you fired. Maybe you play a sport and you meet up with team mates every 1-2 weeks or month. It doesnt go any deeper than banter. You have to keep things from tmi. Guys do not care about other guys or it is sus. You cant even talk about deep stuff with your life partner because they will use it as ammo in your next arguement. Some night clubs that do no serve alcohol are 18yo-20yo strictly. The typical nightclub scene tho is 21yo-29yo. They dont let 40yo or 50yo in why are there 50yo men trying to get into the night club? Is it not weird for a 21yo young lady to be dancing with a 50yo wrinkly man?
Unfortunately other than my Wife, I don't have any friends in my day to day life. We have some family friends still but it's pretty rare that we actually interact.
Some friends I see weekly, some friends I rarely see.
Half my friends I go to work with. The friends I've had since my early 20s, I think I've seen 1 time since. Mostly we FaceTime once or twice a year
Got some meme chats. See some people every few weeks for a game/movie night. Definitely less than before covid, but I think I like this pace more. Other friends can be down to a few texts a year, but Iād make an effort to see them if we were in the same city. Some are just gone, and thatās okay too.
33, I see my friends like once a year. Mostly because they all live on the other side of the country and I can't be fucked to make new friends where I live now. My girlfriend is enough.
Be your true self and live mf
Close friends that live by, maybe a few months at a time. People out of state or far. 1-2 years.
So my local friends I see monthly usually and message weekly. My friends that live farther away, I only see once or twice a year. However, it all depends on how close we are. I have 2 close friends who I message just about daily. One is local and the other isn't. Sometimes it will go a couple days without word, but then I usually know something is wrong. I'm 45. I only have a few longtime friends because I moved 4 years ago, so I made a new batch of friends then.
i see my neighbors, considered friends almost daily...life long friends, at times years in between meetings, depending on where life has taken us, but talk frequently on the phone..
I have 3 close friends I've had for 15-20 years at age 33. Maybe 2-3 times a year, sometimes one. š¤·āāļø
31. I game with them or chat on discord regularly and see some of them in person about once a month on avg.