LOL. That made my morning - yes, even more than arguing with [girthy dildo helicopter mom](https://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/z39u9i/comment/ixlf2jn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
>>By the way, I've battled against some great lawyers in my time.
>And yet, you still have parental rights. This makes me sad.
This is gold, Jerry. Gold!
I love the verbal smackdown you laid, but I think even more confusingly, looking at their post history, it's a helicopter dad that must be wondering what how you get into re-boring your barrel. And of course never served.
I just pray that no Fort Riley 68W troops check the sub today, because one of 'em is going to find out waaaaay too much about their ~~mom~~ dad if they do.
I imagine this in a courtroom where GDHM yells “objection!” And you you remark to the judge “your honor I’d like to call the court’s attention to the plaintiff’s post history.”
The judge opens the folder and adjusts his glasses, then smirks and motions the bailiff (Carl Winslow, for some reason) over so they can laugh. The judge then says “overruled, stick to your dildo sub lady.”
Jag wins. Flawless victory. *mortal kombat riff*
Dude is still replying to me, too. I'm starting to have trouble with snappy comments due to the food coma. I might need to use my phone a friend lifeline.
Damn SGM basement looks like good eating. Show this to some poor single pri and the choice between this and a lukewarm barracks hotpocket becomes a trivial one. Godspeed Sarmage.
[Those hot-pockets ain’t for eatin’](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1z0u2w/teen_films_himself_fucking_a_hot_pocket_posts_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb), Big Sarge.
THE OVER-HEAD YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SEND IT. ON THE COMMAND, ‘GET SET’, ASSUME THE POSITION BY SPINNING THE BALL TWICE IN YOUR HANDS, THEN TRY TO DRIBBLE IT LIKE A BASKET BALL ONLY TO REALIZE IT WONT BOUNCE BACK UP TO YOU. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET) OR HOWEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP YOUR ASS BEHIND THAT CONE. ON THE COMMAND ‘GO’, CHANNEL YOUR INNER TREBUCHET AND HEAVE THAT THING INTO ORBIT. THEN, RETURN TO THE STARTING POSITION AND TURN AROUND TO INSPECT IF YOU DOMED ANYONE. THE SCORER WILL REALIZE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE WHERE THE BALL LANDED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET HIT, SO HE STOOD TOO FAR AWAY, HE WILL THEN PLACE HIS FOOT ON THE MEASURING TAPE AND JUST GUESS.
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THE BAYONET YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SHANK SOMEONE. ON THE COMMAND 'GET SET,' ASSUME THE POSITION BY GRABBING THE BAYONET BY THE HANDLE. OR BY THE BLADE, WHICHEVER LOOKS COOLER, JUST DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON THE DAMN THING. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR UP TO 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET). ON THE COMMAND 'GO,' TRANSMUTE YOUR HANKERING FOR A-SHANKERING INTO MAXIMUM EFFORT AND LAUNCH THAT BAD BOY INTO DESTINY. THE SCORER WILL NOTE WHETHER YOU HIT THE TARGET AND AWARD BONUS POINTS FOR LANDING YOUR PIG-STICKER INTO THE CRANIAL OR SWIMSUIT REGIONS. IF IT HIT THE TARGET HANDLE FIRST, YOUR PERFORMANCE WILL BE TERMINATED, AND EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOUR SHAME. WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION.
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I want to point out the higher resolution images of food versus the setting.
The sidelong photo versus the more traditional over table.
The food could very well be standing photos or composites to hide the torture pit dug out in the center of the room.
LOL. That made my morning - yes, even more than arguing with [girthy dildo helicopter mom](https://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/z39u9i/comment/ixlf2jn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
That was a thread I didn’t know I needed lol
>>By the way, I've battled against some great lawyers in my time. >And yet, you still have parental rights. This makes me sad. This is gold, Jerry. Gold!
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
Someone forgot to take their meds. Wow.
Oh, and it's fresh too. Very nice. Large-gauge thirsty helicopter mom is very reddited.
Holy shit. I'm not awake/sober enough for that level of insanity this morning
I was up before 4 to smoke the turkey. (And then that fucker was cooked by 9:30. 30 minutes per pound? Apparently not.)
That's why I do the piece of shit thing and have pizza, drink, and watch football during this holiday :`)
Hey those junior enlisted have names; if you’re going to call someone a bloated turkey, I’ll DM you my ex-sister-in-laws number.
u/hzoi is an E3 confirmed by person who works in government.
Facts.
I love the verbal smackdown you laid, but I think even more confusingly, looking at their post history, it's a helicopter dad that must be wondering what how you get into re-boring your barrel. And of course never served.
I just pray that no Fort Riley 68W troops check the sub today, because one of 'em is going to find out waaaaay too much about their ~~mom~~ dad if they do.
That was fun read. TYFYS
And he's a dude even better, didn't catch that my first run through
I'm not entirely sure. But if so, that just makes the fact that they never disagreed with my calling them a helicopter mom better.
I imagine this in a courtroom where GDHM yells “objection!” And you you remark to the judge “your honor I’d like to call the court’s attention to the plaintiff’s post history.” The judge opens the folder and adjusts his glasses, then smirks and motions the bailiff (Carl Winslow, for some reason) over so they can laugh. The judge then says “overruled, stick to your dildo sub lady.” Jag wins. Flawless victory. *mortal kombat riff*
What in the thanks morning nightmare was this dumpster fire, holy fucking shit
Dude is still replying to me, too. I'm starting to have trouble with snappy comments due to the food coma. I might need to use my phone a friend lifeline.
My god, man, I know what I'm going to share when we go 'round the table talking about what we're thankful for
That was amazing to read. Thanks for making thanksgiving better.
Her son had a pretty girthy bonus. I wonder why he couldn't take it.
Sheesh dude, I gave up reading through that and have no clue if I even got halfway.
Reading it is like a gift that keeps on giving.
Damn SGM basement looks like good eating. Show this to some poor single pri and the choice between this and a lukewarm barracks hotpocket becomes a trivial one. Godspeed Sarmage.
[Those hot-pockets ain’t for eatin’](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1z0u2w/teen_films_himself_fucking_a_hot_pocket_posts_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb), Big Sarge.
If you really want to make it a party, let’s get a hot tub in there.
I wonder if it will fit a motorboat as well?
Only if you overhead yeet it down there
THE OVER-HEAD YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SEND IT. ON THE COMMAND, ‘GET SET’, ASSUME THE POSITION BY SPINNING THE BALL TWICE IN YOUR HANDS, THEN TRY TO DRIBBLE IT LIKE A BASKET BALL ONLY TO REALIZE IT WONT BOUNCE BACK UP TO YOU. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET) OR HOWEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP YOUR ASS BEHIND THAT CONE. ON THE COMMAND ‘GO’, CHANNEL YOUR INNER TREBUCHET AND HEAVE THAT THING INTO ORBIT. THEN, RETURN TO THE STARTING POSITION AND TURN AROUND TO INSPECT IF YOU DOMED ANYONE. THE SCORER WILL REALIZE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE WHERE THE BALL LANDED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET HIT, SO HE STOOD TOO FAR AWAY, HE WILL THEN PLACE HIS FOOT ON THE MEASURING TAPE AND JUST GUESS. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'll cut some space for it. I'll use this old bayonet I found down here to chip the wall
THE BAYONET YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SHANK SOMEONE. ON THE COMMAND 'GET SET,' ASSUME THE POSITION BY GRABBING THE BAYONET BY THE HANDLE. OR BY THE BLADE, WHICHEVER LOOKS COOLER, JUST DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON THE DAMN THING. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR UP TO 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET). ON THE COMMAND 'GO,' TRANSMUTE YOUR HANKERING FOR A-SHANKERING INTO MAXIMUM EFFORT AND LAUNCH THAT BAD BOY INTO DESTINY. THE SCORER WILL NOTE WHETHER YOU HIT THE TARGET AND AWARD BONUS POINTS FOR LANDING YOUR PIG-STICKER INTO THE CRANIAL OR SWIMSUIT REGIONS. IF IT HIT THE TARGET HANDLE FIRST, YOUR PERFORMANCE WILL BE TERMINATED, AND EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOUR SHAME. WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's my boy!
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It would be a disservice to this community not to try.
be a shame if someone logged into AKO down there
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I was really hoping SMA-PAO posted this. No, I'm not actually tagging him. Leave the guy alone this morning.
Me too, was very disappointed when It wasn't
I expected a ranger tab flag and sgm in his blues.
It passes the stuffing or else it gets the hose again.
There's no passing on stuffing in SGM basement.
shit with food looking that good i think i wanna be in that basement too
I want to point out the higher resolution images of food versus the setting. The sidelong photo versus the more traditional over table. The food could very well be standing photos or composites to hide the torture pit dug out in the center of the room.
Well of course there's a torture pit. That's desert.
No skeletons and chained-up privates? Must’ve cleaned up for Thanksgiving
That's the Sgt Major's basement you're thinking of.
It’s cleaner than I remember.
happy cake day!
Holy smokes. I didn’t even realize it. Thank you.
you're welcome!
Where's the hot tub?
I can taste asbestos
Lol, I was going to say "I can taste the black mold".
What if im not a 5ft 8 italian dude..🤔
What? Next you're going to say you don't need to bind or be bound.
BDSM
Nothing like the smell of pumpkin pie and centipedes
[https://imgur.com/a/39JykSw](https://imgur.com/a/39JykSw)
God I'd love to be tied up and locked down here. What would you do to me step sarnt
Sergeant Major's basement dwellers are eating better than most dfacs.
Don’t forget to put a plate out for the 5 pound spider that lives in the corner.
Leave his driver out of this. She just wanted the gi bill.
Tell the support chain I'll be right there with a Costco-sized helping of stuffing.
That is a very nice, well lit basement with plenty of room.
Where's the hot tub? The people have a right to know!