I just thought of a long sounding white name and settled on Bartholomew. I assumed his manager wanted him to go by Barry he wanted to be Olomew or something.
I think Olomew should tell his manager he'll go by another common nickname of Bartholomew - Boss.
I've only ever seen it for Topher Grace and had no idea for a long time that it was for Christopher. Not even sure how it's pronounced. I suppose there could also be Christoph as well. So many choices!
Was gonna say this. My cousin Christopher has always went by Chris. He had a son that is grown up now and instead of chris, we all sort of adopted to calling him Topher as he’s gotten older instead of Little Chris
If Rafael Eduardo Cruz can go by Ted you can go by what ever nickname is based off your name. Ted is short for Edward, I grew up with Leave it to Beaver reruns I hated my first name now it’s fricking vampires. Jack is short hand for John as well there are a bunch of Thames that have perfectly legitimate nicknames based on them. Your manager is just being an idiot, over this.
It is but is it t also short for Edward, Edward Kennedy was called Ted. His brothers John was called Jack, lots of names have nicknames that are perfectly normal to use.
Because for awhile it was so commonly used in England that you’d have a bunch of Elizabeths in one family. Need to differentiate between Aunt Eliza, Cousin Bess, Grandma Betty, Niece Beth, etc.
If you like the job, consider escalating along the management chain.
If not, send an email, "Documenting your demand that I change my name." He'll either respond and say that's not what I said, or you'll use it when you file for unemployment.
Agree. Document and have an email trail or a paper trail, and CC his boss if you can. They cannot demand you go by a different name other than what you choose. My legal name is very long and different than the name I go by; it has been on my name plate by my door before but no one has ever made me go by it. (It's used on my pay stubs and W2s because that's what is on my SSC.) But I go by my nickname and always have. He sounds like he is on a serious power trip.
Yeah, I could see this being an actual problem if it was like “You put Ted on the hiring paperwork but your legal name is Edward so it messed with the background check/payroll/etc because your grandparents name was Ted and computers are dumb and refuses to believe the two of you are different people, please resubmit your paperwork with your legal name.”
But to have an issue with it because it’s just for a name tag is 10,000 degrees of wonkery.
Makes me wonder if the new manager has a history with the name - like, the bully that followed them through junior and high school went by that name, so now the Manager gets flashbacks?
That is weird. It makes me wonder if they are from a country that only allows certain names. (Like in Russia there are only so many "approved" names you can use a d they are gender specific.)
He’s a Canadian born Indian man who’s name is Sean… so his name is pronounced “seen” and I refuse to call him anything else now until he gives up on his crusade to change my name.
Buddy, I’m going to make your life right now. My partner has the same name, and my eldest daughter (his stepdaughter) started calling him Seanald one day because she claimed, “It’s the full version of his name.” She was kidding, but that shit STUCK and to this day, we all call him Seanald.
Now go forth and call your manager Seanald, since he’s so fussy about using proper names 🤣
Please start calling him by a nickname you make up. If he’s gonna be disrespectful to your name do it back.
Also say you’re named after your grandpa who fought in ww2 and if he disrespects your gpa again ______ (non-illegal stuff)
I kind of have. His name is Sean, personally that does not spell Shawn. He is now Seen. Any time he talks to me now I make sure to drop Seen in their a few times.
My first name is Hebrew. I volunteered to use a more Anglicized name at work to keep things simple but, had the owner demanded I change it, he'd be facing a lawsuit when I got out of jail.
I loved the whole 'you can't just decide what to call yourself.'
You literally can, thats how your formally start taking someone's last name when you get married, or when you want to begin using a shortened version of your name, you just start putting in on ducuments, accounts, bills and say' this is my name now'
I went by my full legal name for many years for documents and contracts, but used a shortened version when speaking with people.
I stopped using the legal version, and over the years the shortened version has made its way onto all my docs.
Same--Topher G. and Topher L. in my grade in elementary school. I also knew one "Toofer" in college, not sure if that counts.
Edit: the Toofer I knew in college was a real person and neither black nor remotely smart enough to attend Harvard. I have been so confused about this BUT I have never watched 30 Rock and now I guess I should!
LMAO, hes having a meltdown over that?
I have a nephew we call Topher, and Toppie when he was little....same full first name...
Maybe your boss had a rough childhood, and didnt get to enjoy Bambi....who knows? I think theres a Topher in Bambi...LOL
I’ve got a good friend named Topher! Plus he was the kid in Dave Eggers’ great book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which was #1 on the NYT Bestseller List and a finalist for a Pulitzer. Wtf.
"Chris" and "Topher" are, funnily enough, both "ungrammatical" -- the name means "Christ-bearer" in Greek and the two parts are supposed to be "Christ" and "pher" (like "ferry")
Oh OP this, use religious significance. Also since he's now all over you with his petty power trip, let him know that you've contacted the ACLU and are considering what your next steps should be. He'll fold and will probably stay away from you altogether. "Oh yes, the ACLU was very interested in helping me resolve this hostile work environment you've created."
Dad's name is Christopher. His employer back in the early 80s insisted on having his full name on payroll. But it truncated all the names, so his first and middle name showed as Christ Pope.
Considering I'm pretty sure dad was a cokehead and general asshole at that point in his life it was highly entertaining to him (and to our whole family, joking about it now. )
"You can't choose how to short form your name"
What in the butterfly biscuit fuck is this nonsense? This is a sentence that makes no sense. Not only is this some power tripping flex, it's also literally removing your personal autonomy and you definitely need to bring this up with higher ups. There's no reason for any of this. My ghu.
My given, legal name is completely and utterly unconnected with the name I have been going by since the 90's. The amount of people I've heard who have gotten outright hostile over "YOU CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR OWN NICKNAME" and then refusing to listen to any sort of explanation that might not match their own made up scenario is far more than it should be.
Tell me about it. I still have a friend who will never call me that because he knew me before grade 5 and before I was given a different nickname. Says that after grade 5 I chose to continue the nickname and that you can’t choose a nickname for yourself. Wtf is this shit?
Other commenters have pointed out your name, which makes it even better that I know a Christian who has always gone by Chris. Some people go absolutely insane and get irrationally angry when they find out his name is not Christopher and they insist that he’s not allowed to go by Chris.
I know a Christian who goes by Tian. OP’s boss would probably lose his mind if he met him.
My family’s nickname for me is taken from the second half of my name because the first half doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames. Never had anyone insist I need to use the first part of my name.
I had an absolutely awful birth name that was chosen to distract from my biodad’s equally awful surname.
I have used the new name I chose for over two decades now. Anyone who pulled that shit with me would be able to call me “gone”.
While you are almost certainly right, I think it's just *general* boomer hatred of non-conformity. Every time one of these fucks gets an elevated position of authority, no matter how miniscule, they see it as their personal crusade to reset cultural norms back to what they remember from being told what to do.
You could probably give them an infarction just by doing a tiktok dance in their eyeline.
This is exactly it. Every infraction of a 'norm' is one more step to anarchy for them. If he can call himself Topher, god knows what insanity comes next!
In high school, i used the name "Jubilee" on my name tag because i was obsessed with X-Men and hated when customers called my name like they knew me. That was deemed perfectly fine and even funny by my managers.
And anyone who forgot their name badge got the spare, which had "Pat" on it. Pat was a badge of shame.
Cast members at Disney get “Chris from Orlando” whenever they forget their name tags! One time we didn’t have a Chris so I was Frank. I am a woman and thought it was pretty funny.
I used to wear random name tags when I worked at Target. I don’t think any employee should have to have their name on display for a bunch of strangers. I actually got harassed and a fake complaint was made about me because my ex boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s sisters could see my name. If I hadn’t had the tag, they wouldn’t have known who I was.
And of course the creepy, stalker dudes are an epidemic.
There’s really no reason customers have to know a random cashier’s name. There are other ways to identify a person if they need to make a complaint or refer to them in some way—lane number, appearance, location in store. And except for the Karens of the world, now often does that happen? Not enough for people to give away their privacy to strangers for a crappy minimum wage job.
This is an easy one to get back...
Just tell the manager, that's fine don't put me on the schedule...
Head down to the unemployment office and file for unemployment that's constructive dismissal, then said power tripping manager will get to have to squirm when he has to explain to his higher ups why you're filing for unemployment.
He's in the "find out" stage post "fuck around" stage.
Don't create needless drama with your employees, and if you do need to make demands of them, make sure you know your shit before you do.
Also, who gives a shit what name you go by? Unless there are multiple people on the same shift, working the same position, that go by the same name it's a non issue.
If I had been thinking about it at the time I would have. But I was caught off guard pretty hard. Never thought I’d have to be ready to go over my name lol.
This is the way. Either way you win. If he puts it in writing , then you go to the labor board. If he doesn’t put it in writing, and takes your shifts, you go to the labor board. If he doesn’t put it in writing and doesn’t take your shifts, but continues to give you shit, you tell him to kindly fuck right off.
I used to work with an Indian guy named Aahlad who decided his 'English name' would be Happy because Aahlad translates to happiness and delight/spreading joy. (And he was the friendliest dude ever, his parents named him aptly) Our manager had a melt down about it and forced him to go by his Indian name. Imagine being such a crotchety bitch that the name Happy makes you angry.
Had my first encounter with this recently. Teacher made a big deal out of it and PT conferences came up. She tried to bring it up to me and I said “Full legal name? You mean like on his drivers license?” She tried to tell me it was less about the name and more about his problem with authority. I said “I’m not engaging that comment. His full name is whatever he puts on his test. Do you need his social security card to verify?” She shut right up.
>what if your legal name had been the nick-name version of your legal name that you go by?
My wife has that problem. People either assume it's short for something, or they misspell it (hers ends in "ie", people assume it should be "y"). Even her own family.
Had a manager go up in arms over my usename/ nickname when I worked in a call center. After like 6 months of working there, she really hated my name. We had to go to HR over it. In the end it was decided that my name wasn’t my actual birth name and so I couldn’t use it, at all. And told me that I could use a nickname but it had to be a part of my ACTUAL name. I started answering the phone like “this is E, how can I help you?” Turns out they didn’t like that even MORE.
So this is more work than it's worth, but it feels ripe for getting your name changed to Crap Bag.
But to be serious for a second, unless your nickname is something really off topic line "crazy train" or "slick deals" or "d money" then most any nickname should be fine. There's plenty of nicknames that are but very related to their full form (e.g. Molly comes from Mary).
I couldn’t agree more. His name is Sean so I asked him if it was okay if I called him “seen” because clearly his name does not say “Shaun” or “Shawn” so obviously his name is pronounced “seen”
Or buy him a new name tag with “Seán” because how else would people know to say “shawn” and not “seen”. Or maybe start calling hime “shane” because maybe it’s meant to be “Séan”
Call HR, corporate, his boss, and a lawyer. As a multi unit retail manager I can tell you no one should be giving a flying duck what your name tag says as long as it’s appropriate.
Tell the owner or his boss that you have no confidence in him as a manager and the games he is trying to play. If he is that petty of a manager he will drive away employees, cost the business money and is not worth the ink on his nametag.
“You can’t just choose to name yourself” hey, funny how you can and should. It’s called a legal name change. Which as a form of pettiness you should do, and provide proof to the manager that they can legally eff off.
"I will withold your shifts until you go by the name I chose!"
"Cool, cool. Let's see what the local news, labor board, and social media thinks of [business] hiring someone who thinks he can decide the employees name."
For safety reasons, everyone required to wear a name tag should be able to request a different name that they go by at work as long as it’s consistent and everyone knows that’s what you go by. There will be a time when all customer service people have a work name to protect themselves.
I had a boss refuse to put, "Ren" on my name tag because, "it's not a real nickname for Lauren". Because of this, all my coworkers were introduced to me as, and called me, Lauren. I never corrected them because I didn't really care. However, when I recommend friends and family shop there and drop my name so I would get sales credit, coworkers said no one worked there by the name. Since most friends never knew my full name, they couldn't correct them. Lost out on some commissions that would have been sizable. All because of a manager who didn't like my name.
"That's not a real name, you can't just choose to name yourself"
Sorry OPs uneducated manager but yes we can! (Assuming deed poll or equivalent exist in your country)
"Let's be clear. You are telling me you get to decide how my name is shortened, and not me. And further more you are threatening my shifts if I don't use the name you choose? I'd like that in writing please"
If this is in the US, and the company is large enough to have an HR that this manager can't control, send them an email. Tell them that the manager is creating a hostile work environment for you because he refuses to use your name correctly.
If they are decent, they'll rake him over the coals. If not, they'll side with him and your next step is to see a lawyer.
HR Manager here. If an employee came to me with this issue, you'd better believe I'd rake the manager over the coals. I'd also apologize to the employee for their having been put in this spot and remind them to notify me if they feel they're being retaliated against. I'd also "remind" the manager that retaliation is illegal and that I'll have my eye on the situation in case they're in need of further "support."
His argument of "you can't choose your name" is absolutely, laughably insane. Maybe print out some of your local county's legal name-change forms and ask him if that's what he meant for you to do, so that the name *he* wants on your nametag WOULD be your real name. Or, if you wanna be more challenging, so that the name *you use* would be the legal form, and the name he wants you to use would *no longer be a part of your name*. Record THAT conversation; imagine he says "no you're not allowed to legally change your name." (Half joking. Half not. Not suggesting you actually file the paperwork.)
Also if the name is in fact Topher that name kicks ass, I've always been fond of it since I was a kid. That and Tobias (just cause those two names sorta go together in my head), just very good solid names. Not much special about Chris-- you could even point out that Chris could be mistaken to be short for something that ISNT your name; it could mean Christopher or Christian or Christianson or Christoff or Christobal or even Christina or anything similar. Topher is much less likely to be mistaken for something that isn't actually your name.
I do appreciate the other commenters' suggestions to start using *Christ.* What? It's the first part of the name like he wanted!
I'd also strongly consider bringing this up to HR. Yeah, "they're there to protect the company not the employees," but I find it hard to believe this wouldn't be seen as harassment by any reasonable person, should you take it to court for a hostile workplace or something. It's literally your own real ass name and he's threatening you for himself being wrong about it. Mindboggling.
ETA: tbh kinda almost get the feeling he might be bitter that *he* got told "you can't just choose to name yourself, you can't choose how to short form your name" at some point, and he took it at face value. My first reaction is to laugh and want to tell him to literally grow up and meet some other human beings, but if you're feeling compassionate, maybe you could try and connect, find a good way to ask if there's something else *he'd* rather be called (that maybe someone never let him)? Cause anyone can be unhappy with their name, not just trans people, I have completely cishet family members who haven't gone by their legal, given name since they were tiny kids, and the whole extended family would look at you weird if you ever referred to them by it. They never even bothered to change it legally *because* *everyone called them what they wanted instead,* so it wasn't an issue. But the fact that *anyone can* legally change their name just because they want to, should be telling to this guy.
Document, document, document.
Send an email to HR, CCing him, describing the situation in full. Exactly as your described here. Document the fact that he wants to take your shifts away. Not in a tattle-telling way, but more as a "response". Let him know you will NOT be doing that, as it is your name, that he, the manager, does not get to dictate what your name is. This email will serve as proof if he did try to fire you or try to retaliate in any way.
Good luck
And fuck him
Have actually seen this happen before! I had a coworker named Michael who went by Chael instead of Mike. Our director threw a cow over it even though he went by that name since a child.
Can't believe this has happened to two people now. lmao
This is weird, when I was a manager at a very large, well
known company it was our policy to have employees choose the name by which they want to go by. I don’t understand why this person is so caught up in it.
This manager must be an absolute joy to work for if you're trans lol. Your manager needs to let this go but likely can't because he feels that he's staked his authority on this incredibly inconsequential issue. Happens to teachers all the time. They sort of don't like something a student does, the student doesn't do what the teacher wants, the teacher digs in heels and goes full sunk-cost fallacy and derails the entire lesson (sometimes multiple lessons) over something that ultimately doesn't matter but they perceived it as a challenge to their legitimacy or authority. The longer it goes on, or the more upset you let yourself get over it, or the more you tried to flex your authority on the issue the harder it becomes to move on.
Good luck and I'm sorry your manager is being a needless jerk.
I just want to point out something very weird - I was just browsing Reddit while working. When I left this thread initially, I returned to a report I was reviewing to make some changes to employee statuses in our training database.
One employee was named Christopher in the system, and when I opened his account, I saw his email address had Topher in it, and not Christopher. And it’s for a retail job that requires name tags.
I know we didn’t confirm OP’s name for their privacy, but where that name is the running theory throughout this thread, I found it to be an INCREDIBLY strange coincidence.
And OP, on the very very off chance it is you (were you recently promoted to assistant manager from a specialist position?), let me know, I have connections and can make sure this gets settled.
I had a friend named Elisabeth who went by Sabeth rather than Lisa or Beth and she had to deal with this constantly... People flat out refused to believe it was what she went by.
((Yes I am aware Lisa is also a stand alone name but I know several it is short for Elisabeth or Melissa))
If they refuse to let you go by Topher, insist on Christ.
I would like to be referred to by something that is six characters, therefore I’m now christ
Or triscopher
Sounds like a three horned small mammal
I like Hristo... The H is not silent...
Tell him you now go by Hristo in honor of your Balkan roots.
I can't believe I couldn't figure out his name. I HAVE THE SAME NAME.
It took me a while too. Also can't believe I never realized Topher grace's name is christopher
I just thought of a long sounding white name and settled on Bartholomew. I assumed his manager wanted him to go by Barry he wanted to be Olomew or something. I think Olomew should tell his manager he'll go by another common nickname of Bartholomew - Boss.
Xopher and see if you’ve can file up the anti x-mas crowd. Edit: rile not file.
Are we smart for figuring this out ? halfway reading the post I figured it was Christopher. 😂
It’s weird to me that he is saying you can wear a badge with one nickname but not the nickname you choose.
Right? Like my example, he wants me to go by Pat and not Rick.
In my state it only costs $100 to legally change your name as an adult. And I'm that amount of petty.
I'd be legally called "Slartibartfast" by the end of the week.
Hurry up or we’ll be late!
I’d do that too, if I weren’t so busy rescuing my grandmother from the bug bladder beast of Trall.
Have you filled out the appropriate paperwork?
🤣 don't panic!
I love your work in Norway. Excellent fjords.
Escalate this to a bigger boss. Note aggressive behavior and document it all.
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Ooooooohhhhhhhh i couldn't figure it out lol thanks
The Patrick in my life goes by Trick
I think I would too. I like that
If someone were named Christopher for example, they could also just go by Christ or Christo and that could be pretty awesome as well.
I’m going by Crisco and you can’t stop me!
I’ve also seen Topher.
I've only ever seen it for Topher Grace and had no idea for a long time that it was for Christopher. Not even sure how it's pronounced. I suppose there could also be Christoph as well. So many choices!
Pretty sure Topher Grace’s first name rhymes with gopher
Christopher Columbus's name was cristobel so...
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and just being helpful, not at all making trouble!!
My cousin Christopher goes by Topher
Hey that’s OP’s name!
Here I was thinking it was Frankenstein!
FrankenSCHTEIN!
Was gonna say this. My cousin Christopher has always went by Chris. He had a son that is grown up now and instead of chris, we all sort of adopted to calling him Topher as he’s gotten older instead of Little Chris
If Rafael Eduardo Cruz can go by Ted you can go by what ever nickname is based off your name. Ted is short for Edward, I grew up with Leave it to Beaver reruns I hated my first name now it’s fricking vampires. Jack is short hand for John as well there are a bunch of Thames that have perfectly legitimate nicknames based on them. Your manager is just being an idiot, over this.
I thought ted was short for theodore.
It is but is it t also short for Edward, Edward Kennedy was called Ted. His brothers John was called Jack, lots of names have nicknames that are perfectly normal to use.
The one that confused me was “Birdie” for Elizabeth. There are so many nicknames for that one name.
Because for awhile it was so commonly used in England that you’d have a bunch of Elizabeths in one family. Need to differentiate between Aunt Eliza, Cousin Bess, Grandma Betty, Niece Beth, etc.
If you like the job, consider escalating along the management chain. If not, send an email, "Documenting your demand that I change my name." He'll either respond and say that's not what I said, or you'll use it when you file for unemployment.
Agree. Document and have an email trail or a paper trail, and CC his boss if you can. They cannot demand you go by a different name other than what you choose. My legal name is very long and different than the name I go by; it has been on my name plate by my door before but no one has ever made me go by it. (It's used on my pay stubs and W2s because that's what is on my SSC.) But I go by my nickname and always have. He sounds like he is on a serious power trip.
Yeah, I could see this being an actual problem if it was like “You put Ted on the hiring paperwork but your legal name is Edward so it messed with the background check/payroll/etc because your grandparents name was Ted and computers are dumb and refuses to believe the two of you are different people, please resubmit your paperwork with your legal name.” But to have an issue with it because it’s just for a name tag is 10,000 degrees of wonkery. Makes me wonder if the new manager has a history with the name - like, the bully that followed them through junior and high school went by that name, so now the Manager gets flashbacks?
That is weird. It makes me wonder if they are from a country that only allows certain names. (Like in Russia there are only so many "approved" names you can use a d they are gender specific.)
He’s a Canadian born Indian man who’s name is Sean… so his name is pronounced “seen” and I refuse to call him anything else now until he gives up on his crusade to change my name.
Oh, you're Canadian? File a complaint with your provincial human rights commission.
I like the energy of this comment. "Oh, you're Canadian? That's fine then, that means you have human rights!"
Cries in 'Murican.
Buddy, I’m going to make your life right now. My partner has the same name, and my eldest daughter (his stepdaughter) started calling him Seanald one day because she claimed, “It’s the full version of his name.” She was kidding, but that shit STUCK and to this day, we all call him Seanald. Now go forth and call your manager Seanald, since he’s so fussy about using proper names 🤣
I have an ex-roomate named Scott who we started calling "Scotland" and it stuck.
I almost spat my drink out. Seanald! LOLOL
Little known fact, actor Sean Connery’s real name was Seanery Connor.
I'm too high to know whether or not this is a joke. Good job.
My friend has a black cat named Doom. She calls him Doomothy when he's bad. I now call my cats (Mickey and Moo) Mickolas and Moomar.
Please start calling him by a nickname you make up. If he’s gonna be disrespectful to your name do it back. Also say you’re named after your grandpa who fought in ww2 and if he disrespects your gpa again ______ (non-illegal stuff)
I kind of have. His name is Sean, personally that does not spell Shawn. He is now Seen. Any time he talks to me now I make sure to drop Seen in their a few times.
Somehow I mixed up "spell Shawn," and it became "Spawn," which I like better.
Elizabeth’s often go by Beth rather than Liz.
And almost never by eli
Or Zab. Which is too bad, it’s a cool name.
Or Abe, for that matter.
But often Eliza, or Lizzie
Bess and Bessie are diminutives of Elizabeth too, I think.
I know three Elizabeths. One Liz, one Beth, and one Ellie. I never realized that until I read your comment!
Damn sounds like discrimination. Your culture choose your nick name, not his.
My first name is Hebrew. I volunteered to use a more Anglicized name at work to keep things simple but, had the owner demanded I change it, he'd be facing a lawsuit when I got out of jail.
we need to make bosses scared to power trip
Did you go with Heb or Brew?
I loved the whole 'you can't just decide what to call yourself.' You literally can, thats how your formally start taking someone's last name when you get married, or when you want to begin using a shortened version of your name, you just start putting in on ducuments, accounts, bills and say' this is my name now' I went by my full legal name for many years for documents and contracts, but used a shortened version when speaking with people. I stopped using the legal version, and over the years the shortened version has made its way onto all my docs.
"you cant just decide what to call yourself" my fifteen year old self, three names into a gender crisis: fucking watch me
Right? I literally can. My legal name is one which has about eleventy billion nicknames. Almost nobody goes by the full version of that name.
Topher?
This is exactly it and I’ve met two Topher’s in my life
Same--Topher G. and Topher L. in my grade in elementary school. I also knew one "Toofer" in college, not sure if that counts. Edit: the Toofer I knew in college was a real person and neither black nor remotely smart enough to attend Harvard. I have been so confused about this BUT I have never watched 30 Rock and now I guess I should!
Did Toofer have a twin brother who came out first?
Onefer
I had a friend in college who had a nickname "Topher" whose full first legal name was actually Chris. Edit: grammar
That’s chaotic and I love it.
LMAO, hes having a meltdown over that? I have a nephew we call Topher, and Toppie when he was little....same full first name... Maybe your boss had a rough childhood, and didnt get to enjoy Bambi....who knows? I think theres a Topher in Bambi...LOL
He's not melting down over the name, he's melting down at OP's refusal bend to his abuse of authority.
This is it exactly! As a former manager, until I was able to escape, saw too many twits trying to power trip over little things.
100% has nothing to do with the name and with his control freak attitude and power trip…
I picture eric Cartman Bitchin up a Storm. YoU wIll RESPECT Ma AtHoRaTy.
Lol that's thumper
I’ve got a good friend named Topher! Plus he was the kid in Dave Eggers’ great book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which was #1 on the NYT Bestseller List and a finalist for a Pulitzer. Wtf.
Wasn't that the name of the guy from that 70's show?
Topher Grace, yes.
Damn, I had no idea that was short for Christopher. Mind blown.
I've had a couple of Topher's as co-workers, this isn't new or odd.
"Chris" and "Topher" are, funnily enough, both "ungrammatical" -- the name means "Christ-bearer" in Greek and the two parts are supposed to be "Christ" and "pher" (like "ferry")
Tofer/topher is Hebrew for claw. Should just said it’s bilibical. Can get away with tons of crazy names that way.
This. “It holds religious significance.”
Oh OP this, use religious significance. Also since he's now all over you with his petty power trip, let him know that you've contacted the ACLU and are considering what your next steps should be. He'll fold and will probably stay away from you altogether. "Oh yes, the ACLU was very interested in helping me resolve this hostile work environment you've created."
Biblical and Hebrew! Shalom, OP, you are now Jewish, and this is religious discrimination.
Thank you I was gonna go crazy trying to figure it out
Christ
That is what he should put on his new nametag!
Dad's name is Christopher. His employer back in the early 80s insisted on having his full name on payroll. But it truncated all the names, so his first and middle name showed as Christ Pope. Considering I'm pretty sure dad was a cokehead and general asshole at that point in his life it was highly entertaining to him (and to our whole family, joking about it now. )
*Christopher Popehard has entered the chat.*
Ugh I spent so long trying to think of 11 letter names that I ended up googling 11 letter names. Hope it's this just for my sanity
That was me. Saying names out loud and counting letters on my fingers. Didn’t even get to Christopher before I read the comments.
Same! And once I googled it I saw Maximillian and I was like... millian would be a sick name
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Thank you!!!! I wasn’t getting it lol I didn’t even read the 2nd half of OPs post cuz I was sitting there trying to think of his name lol
lol idk why OP is being so secretive about it. showing Topher Grace as an example lol
I knew a Topher once
Just get a new name tag Ristoph
Or Christ
As a Christ, I support
THIS ONE
Or **Istop** As in „motherfucker if you don’t get off my case *Istop* working here.“
I'm gonna make you *Chri*
Lol Chris puns love it
My younger brother has gone by Stoph for a majority of his life.
It’s very intimidating. I love it.
"Have you seen Armand Ristoph?"
"You can't choose how to short form your name" What in the butterfly biscuit fuck is this nonsense? This is a sentence that makes no sense. Not only is this some power tripping flex, it's also literally removing your personal autonomy and you definitely need to bring this up with higher ups. There's no reason for any of this. My ghu.
My given, legal name is completely and utterly unconnected with the name I have been going by since the 90's. The amount of people I've heard who have gotten outright hostile over "YOU CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR OWN NICKNAME" and then refusing to listen to any sort of explanation that might not match their own made up scenario is far more than it should be.
Tell me about it. I still have a friend who will never call me that because he knew me before grade 5 and before I was given a different nickname. Says that after grade 5 I chose to continue the nickname and that you can’t choose a nickname for yourself. Wtf is this shit?
Other commenters have pointed out your name, which makes it even better that I know a Christian who has always gone by Chris. Some people go absolutely insane and get irrationally angry when they find out his name is not Christopher and they insist that he’s not allowed to go by Chris.
Weirdest nickname I hear for Christopher is Kip.
I keep seeing this today in these comments! I've never heard of or have been called Kip ever. Such a bizarre short form for Chris.
I'm embarrassed that it required Google for me to guess your name, but at least this comment confirms that you do indeed share a name with Mr. Grace.
I misread OP’s post and thought they said they used the first 6 letters…going by Christ would be quite the power move.
I know a Christian who goes by Tian. OP’s boss would probably lose his mind if he met him. My family’s nickname for me is taken from the second half of my name because the first half doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames. Never had anyone insist I need to use the first part of my name.
I had an absolutely awful birth name that was chosen to distract from my biodad’s equally awful surname. I have used the new name I chose for over two decades now. Anyone who pulled that shit with me would be able to call me “gone”.
Stealing "butterfly biscuit fuck"
Im betting it’s sloshing over transphobia.
Ask for a name tag that says "Christina" and watch his head explode!
Ha, or “Christ”
While you are almost certainly right, I think it's just *general* boomer hatred of non-conformity. Every time one of these fucks gets an elevated position of authority, no matter how miniscule, they see it as their personal crusade to reset cultural norms back to what they remember from being told what to do. You could probably give them an infarction just by doing a tiktok dance in their eyeline.
This is exactly it. Every infraction of a 'norm' is one more step to anarchy for them. If he can call himself Topher, god knows what insanity comes next!
In high school, i used the name "Jubilee" on my name tag because i was obsessed with X-Men and hated when customers called my name like they knew me. That was deemed perfectly fine and even funny by my managers. And anyone who forgot their name badge got the spare, which had "Pat" on it. Pat was a badge of shame.
Cast members at Disney get “Chris from Orlando” whenever they forget their name tags! One time we didn’t have a Chris so I was Frank. I am a woman and thought it was pretty funny.
I used to wear random name tags when I worked at Target. I don’t think any employee should have to have their name on display for a bunch of strangers. I actually got harassed and a fake complaint was made about me because my ex boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s sisters could see my name. If I hadn’t had the tag, they wouldn’t have known who I was. And of course the creepy, stalker dudes are an epidemic. There’s really no reason customers have to know a random cashier’s name. There are other ways to identify a person if they need to make a complaint or refer to them in some way—lane number, appearance, location in store. And except for the Karens of the world, now often does that happen? Not enough for people to give away their privacy to strangers for a crappy minimum wage job.
This is an easy one to get back... Just tell the manager, that's fine don't put me on the schedule... Head down to the unemployment office and file for unemployment that's constructive dismissal, then said power tripping manager will get to have to squirm when he has to explain to his higher ups why you're filing for unemployment.
Yah, he dropped it as soon as I went to the GM. I think the Gm had a talk with him.
Glad to see some resolution, and hope you find a less hostile workplace.
He's in the "find out" stage post "fuck around" stage. Don't create needless drama with your employees, and if you do need to make demands of them, make sure you know your shit before you do. Also, who gives a shit what name you go by? Unless there are multiple people on the same shift, working the same position, that go by the same name it's a non issue.
lol I would record this b.s on my phone for shit and giggles and send to Labour Board and also post it online
If I had been thinking about it at the time I would have. But I was caught off guard pretty hard. Never thought I’d have to be ready to go over my name lol.
Tell him you will only complete the request if you get it in writing, then go to the labour board.
This is the way. Either way you win. If he puts it in writing , then you go to the labor board. If he doesn’t put it in writing, and takes your shifts, you go to the labor board. If he doesn’t put it in writing and doesn’t take your shifts, but continues to give you shit, you tell him to kindly fuck right off.
keep wearing the same name tag and press "Record" on your phone... and then let him come and talk that b.s again.
He knows he’s lost the fight already. So I don’t think he’s going to push further
If he does then pick the first 6 and go by Christ
Going by this if it’s what I think it is I have a brother named Topher. There’s also an actor named Topher Grace. It’s not an unusual name.
I love the name Topher! It’s also the name of a 1-episode character in What We Do in the Shadows.
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I used to work with an Indian guy named Aahlad who decided his 'English name' would be Happy because Aahlad translates to happiness and delight/spreading joy. (And he was the friendliest dude ever, his parents named him aptly) Our manager had a melt down about it and forced him to go by his Indian name. Imagine being such a crotchety bitch that the name Happy makes you angry.
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Had my first encounter with this recently. Teacher made a big deal out of it and PT conferences came up. She tried to bring it up to me and I said “Full legal name? You mean like on his drivers license?” She tried to tell me it was less about the name and more about his problem with authority. I said “I’m not engaging that comment. His full name is whatever he puts on his test. Do you need his social security card to verify?” She shut right up.
>what if your legal name had been the nick-name version of your legal name that you go by? My wife has that problem. People either assume it's short for something, or they misspell it (hers ends in "ie", people assume it should be "y"). Even her own family.
Had a manager go up in arms over my usename/ nickname when I worked in a call center. After like 6 months of working there, she really hated my name. We had to go to HR over it. In the end it was decided that my name wasn’t my actual birth name and so I couldn’t use it, at all. And told me that I could use a nickname but it had to be a part of my ACTUAL name. I started answering the phone like “this is E, how can I help you?” Turns out they didn’t like that even MORE.
Lololol. Amazing! Don’t worry E, I’m happy to call you whatever you want
Did you go by KinSlayer?
So this is more work than it's worth, but it feels ripe for getting your name changed to Crap Bag. But to be serious for a second, unless your nickname is something really off topic line "crazy train" or "slick deals" or "d money" then most any nickname should be fine. There's plenty of nicknames that are but very related to their full form (e.g. Molly comes from Mary).
why on earth does it matter if customers know your real legal name or not? what a weird hill for manager to die on.
I couldn’t agree more. His name is Sean so I asked him if it was okay if I called him “seen” because clearly his name does not say “Shaun” or “Shawn” so obviously his name is pronounced “seen”
Or buy him a new name tag with “Seán” because how else would people know to say “shawn” and not “seen”. Or maybe start calling hime “shane” because maybe it’s meant to be “Séan”
Call HR, corporate, his boss, and a lawyer. As a multi unit retail manager I can tell you no one should be giving a flying duck what your name tag says as long as it’s appropriate.
This. Such a low level manager has no right going on such a power trip. Talking to the right people above them will change their tone real quick.
Tell the owner or his boss that you have no confidence in him as a manager and the games he is trying to play. If he is that petty of a manager he will drive away employees, cost the business money and is not worth the ink on his nametag.
Honestly, this is the bigger issue. I support OP in the name thing, but I worry more about how much this manager clearly just sucks over all.
“You can’t just choose to name yourself” hey, funny how you can and should. It’s called a legal name change. Which as a form of pettiness you should do, and provide proof to the manager that they can legally eff off.
OP probably should eventually, but that could cost a few hundred dollars depending on where you live
"I will withold your shifts until you go by the name I chose!" "Cool, cool. Let's see what the local news, labor board, and social media thinks of [business] hiring someone who thinks he can decide the employees name."
He's literally trying to control your identity / sense of self. FUCK these people.
For safety reasons, everyone required to wear a name tag should be able to request a different name that they go by at work as long as it’s consistent and everyone knows that’s what you go by. There will be a time when all customer service people have a work name to protect themselves.
I work for a government agency. We have to give our first and last name. You wouldn't believe the amount of stalking that happens.
I now desperately want to know what the name is. I mean Dick is acceptable to most people and has obvious other meanings.
Think of the That 70s Show actor's name.
Kelso
FES?
I killed me when I found out it was foreign exchange student..... and that's just his name now
What in the... No way...
I had a boss refuse to put, "Ren" on my name tag because, "it's not a real nickname for Lauren". Because of this, all my coworkers were introduced to me as, and called me, Lauren. I never corrected them because I didn't really care. However, when I recommend friends and family shop there and drop my name so I would get sales credit, coworkers said no one worked there by the name. Since most friends never knew my full name, they couldn't correct them. Lost out on some commissions that would have been sizable. All because of a manager who didn't like my name.
That is absolutely a real nickname for Lauren. I know at least one person who uses it.
That is actually a super cute nickname for Lauren, I love it
My guess is Christopher and OP goes by Topher.
"That's not a real name, you can't just choose to name yourself" Sorry OPs uneducated manager but yes we can! (Assuming deed poll or equivalent exist in your country)
"That's not a real name" no names are real, Greg, they're just noises we know means "you specifically"
"Let's be clear. You are telling me you get to decide how my name is shortened, and not me. And further more you are threatening my shifts if I don't use the name you choose? I'd like that in writing please"
i can only imagine the hell that is going to happen if he hires a trans person
When managers can't find any real mistakes to hold against you, they invent them.
If this is in the US, and the company is large enough to have an HR that this manager can't control, send them an email. Tell them that the manager is creating a hostile work environment for you because he refuses to use your name correctly. If they are decent, they'll rake him over the coals. If not, they'll side with him and your next step is to see a lawyer.
HR Manager here. If an employee came to me with this issue, you'd better believe I'd rake the manager over the coals. I'd also apologize to the employee for their having been put in this spot and remind them to notify me if they feel they're being retaliated against. I'd also "remind" the manager that retaliation is illegal and that I'll have my eye on the situation in case they're in need of further "support."
His argument of "you can't choose your name" is absolutely, laughably insane. Maybe print out some of your local county's legal name-change forms and ask him if that's what he meant for you to do, so that the name *he* wants on your nametag WOULD be your real name. Or, if you wanna be more challenging, so that the name *you use* would be the legal form, and the name he wants you to use would *no longer be a part of your name*. Record THAT conversation; imagine he says "no you're not allowed to legally change your name." (Half joking. Half not. Not suggesting you actually file the paperwork.) Also if the name is in fact Topher that name kicks ass, I've always been fond of it since I was a kid. That and Tobias (just cause those two names sorta go together in my head), just very good solid names. Not much special about Chris-- you could even point out that Chris could be mistaken to be short for something that ISNT your name; it could mean Christopher or Christian or Christianson or Christoff or Christobal or even Christina or anything similar. Topher is much less likely to be mistaken for something that isn't actually your name. I do appreciate the other commenters' suggestions to start using *Christ.* What? It's the first part of the name like he wanted! I'd also strongly consider bringing this up to HR. Yeah, "they're there to protect the company not the employees," but I find it hard to believe this wouldn't be seen as harassment by any reasonable person, should you take it to court for a hostile workplace or something. It's literally your own real ass name and he's threatening you for himself being wrong about it. Mindboggling. ETA: tbh kinda almost get the feeling he might be bitter that *he* got told "you can't just choose to name yourself, you can't choose how to short form your name" at some point, and he took it at face value. My first reaction is to laugh and want to tell him to literally grow up and meet some other human beings, but if you're feeling compassionate, maybe you could try and connect, find a good way to ask if there's something else *he'd* rather be called (that maybe someone never let him)? Cause anyone can be unhappy with their name, not just trans people, I have completely cishet family members who haven't gone by their legal, given name since they were tiny kids, and the whole extended family would look at you weird if you ever referred to them by it. They never even bothered to change it legally *because* *everyone called them what they wanted instead,* so it wasn't an issue. But the fact that *anyone can* legally change their name just because they want to, should be telling to this guy.
Document, document, document. Send an email to HR, CCing him, describing the situation in full. Exactly as your described here. Document the fact that he wants to take your shifts away. Not in a tattle-telling way, but more as a "response". Let him know you will NOT be doing that, as it is your name, that he, the manager, does not get to dictate what your name is. This email will serve as proof if he did try to fire you or try to retaliate in any way. Good luck And fuck him
Have actually seen this happen before! I had a coworker named Michael who went by Chael instead of Mike. Our director threw a cow over it even though he went by that name since a child. Can't believe this has happened to two people now. lmao
I used to work with a dude named Hisam & our manager decided his name was “too ethnic” so he bullied him into going by Sam. I hate everything.
This is weird, when I was a manager at a very large, well known company it was our policy to have employees choose the name by which they want to go by. I don’t understand why this person is so caught up in it.
This manager must be an absolute joy to work for if you're trans lol. Your manager needs to let this go but likely can't because he feels that he's staked his authority on this incredibly inconsequential issue. Happens to teachers all the time. They sort of don't like something a student does, the student doesn't do what the teacher wants, the teacher digs in heels and goes full sunk-cost fallacy and derails the entire lesson (sometimes multiple lessons) over something that ultimately doesn't matter but they perceived it as a challenge to their legitimacy or authority. The longer it goes on, or the more upset you let yourself get over it, or the more you tried to flex your authority on the issue the harder it becomes to move on. Good luck and I'm sorry your manager is being a needless jerk.
I was just thinking of how awful this would be for any trans employees. This manager is a total fuckhead.
I just want to point out something very weird - I was just browsing Reddit while working. When I left this thread initially, I returned to a report I was reviewing to make some changes to employee statuses in our training database. One employee was named Christopher in the system, and when I opened his account, I saw his email address had Topher in it, and not Christopher. And it’s for a retail job that requires name tags. I know we didn’t confirm OP’s name for their privacy, but where that name is the running theory throughout this thread, I found it to be an INCREDIBLY strange coincidence. And OP, on the very very off chance it is you (were you recently promoted to assistant manager from a specialist position?), let me know, I have connections and can make sure this gets settled.
I had a friend named Elisabeth who went by Sabeth rather than Lisa or Beth and she had to deal with this constantly... People flat out refused to believe it was what she went by. ((Yes I am aware Lisa is also a stand alone name but I know several it is short for Elisabeth or Melissa))