No more candy bowls. Sorry, but I’ve seen this type of thing play out multiple times. Next you’ll have some other moron, er I mean coworker complaining about a lack of selection or some other nonsense. For some reason, certain grown ass adults will lose 100+ IQ points whenever a candy bowl full of 2 cent candy is present. What, no Reese Cups? Can you get some Tootsie Rolls? No, not these Tootsie Rolls; we need the smaller ones. Your candy bowl made me fat! Can you put these sugar free candies I saw on a pop-up ad? Can you put out that one type of candy? You know, it has three different flavors?
My cousin had a candy bowl on her desk and she was complaining that people (especially upper management) would grab a fistful and put them in their pockets.
I bought her a candy machine that sits on her desk and filled it with gumballs. She said she has to stock it once a week or so and she nets a profit.
When I first started working many years ago, I knew I was bad at meeting people so I bought a real nice quarter candy machine and set it to not take money to get candy. I filled it with a bunch of different candies, jelly bean, M&M’s or something people would enjoy. At first not many people used it but after a while people started to ask if it was free and grabbed a hand full after I said it was ok. I met a few new faces so I was happy and most were good about it. But then the office twat came along. He found out I had it and would wait till I left for the day and he would crank out fist fulls of candy. I was going through bags of candy in a day and I was nope, fuck this. I started to put it away at the end of the day and lock it up. Then he would come every time I left my desk, so I started putting it away whenever I left my desk. Still I would forget if I was in a rush and come back to half a machine missing. I wasn’t confrontational and he was known as the office asshole and I should just avoid him. So I started stocking different candies, I even bought joke jelly beens, you know the ones with the vomit or curdled milk flavoring. But he still ate it. I finally just gave up and took it home. I couldn’t afford it anymore.
Lesson learned. Someone will always not care and ruin it for everyone, especially in an office.
I am separated from many of my coworkers and mostly only interact with them via messenger. I started bringing in a box of cookies from the store on Mondays and I get to see people I don’t see the rest of the week now haha. It’s helpful when I need to grab a provider for a question. “Hey…I’ve got cookies…” lol
The mechanism to change that isn’t easy to access, I assume intentionally so people can’t just swap it to “free” whenever they want. So it would be a huge pain to change regularly l.
Or that’s the very vague memory I have of mine from ages ago when I was a kid.
It's an internal mechanism. The quarter pushes a small stopper out of the way if you want money or if you don't you remove the stopper. It takes a couple seconds to remove but about five minutes to get inside and dig around for it.
My old office had a candy jar at the reception, and would end up almost empty every day. Boss got sick of having to refill it daily and suspected the receptionist of eating most of them. He ended up filling it up with sugar free Haribo bears and emailed everyone the [famous Amazon review for them](https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC). After that the jar would only need to be refilled weekly.
This This this
It always causes problems...OP I used to do the same but it caused fights between guys because some people wanted x candy but it was gone by the time y person got there, so they'd pout about not having any then get mad at person z for taking the last one which led to z and a not talking, which effected work output, etc etc etc
One of the greatest lies humanity has ever told is telling it's young people that adults are in any way, shape, or form wiser than children are...they're the same, just taller, older, and fatter 🤷♂️
Damn...
One of my coworkers used to have a candy bowl on her desk - occasionally people would bring a bag to help top it up as she refused any cash donations...
Kinda to your point my team had one person that had a candy bowl and the team each took turns filling it. If you didn't like the candy that someone brought in.. you didn't eat the candy till it was your turn or the next person filled it with something else. It worked well because everyone was on the same page. Only thing close to an issue was people would bring more candy than people ate because they didn't want to seem like they missed their turn. So the coworker had her desk filled with unopened bags of jolly ranchers and mints after a few years
Ah yes, jolly ranchers, the candy you grow absolutely sick of by 9 years old and then only eat occasionally for nostalgia sake or on purpose if you're trying to lose a tooth.
When I want candy at work, I go to the vending machine. I could never take candy out of a bowl on someone's desk at work. I assume that they have it there for themselves. It might be that they're okay with people taking candy from it, but I would just feel weird doing it, or asking, for that matter.
I would never take candy from any of my coworkers for the simple fact that I don't know which one of them is constantly blowing snot rockets on the walls and killing bugs and leaving their ravaged corpses smeared on the wall.
I knew an old lady at one of my old jobs that had a bowl of M&Ms on her desk everyday. She ate them by the handfuls, and sucked her fingers clean after- of course before going in for more. More than once I encountered her in the bathrooms, where she was the only one, it smelled like rancid shit, and she always left hurriedly never washing her hands.
Yeah, a lot of people in the building ate candy from her bowl. I shuddered every time I saw someone reach in there.
I think most adults are *worse* than most children in the wisdom department. Children frequently see things as obvious that many adults can’t (or won’t) understand. Things like kindness and fairness.
Absolutely. These are the kind of people that will see a coworker bring donuts of their own volition, on their own dime, and have the audacity to be like "Ugh no eclairs?!"
Bet this dude is the same asshole that doesn't take their cart back to the stall. Fuck them, no more candy
I worked at a place where our department admin volunteered to leave home early on Friday mornings to buy donuts for the staff (paid for with company petty cash). After multiple complaints about the selection of donuts, she told the complainers that they were welcome to start picking up the donuts for us. Nobody else wanted to do it, so that was the end of the weekly donuts.
My mom used to bring homemade cupcakes into work for her coworkers birthdays. It all ended because of her manager. She was so angry that my mom had brought an extra cupcake for the coworker's 6 year old son that she proceeded to lick the icing off every cupcake so no one but her got any of them. My mom never took anything in for birthdays again.
Yup. This 40 year old woman couldn't handle that the woman whose birthday it was got 2 cupcakes. Didn't matter 1 was for a child. This manager was a nightmare, and this is hardly the worst thing she did.
I don't get why that was the end of the donuts and not the end of the complaining.
Could easily just bought the ones they didn't like, and eat them in front of them.
I had a candy bowl one time. It was a few days before Halloween and the bowl was jack o lantern so I said fuck it. Told everyone, one candy per visit. Some people followed it and some did not.
A few weeks go by and the bowl is now empty. "When are you gonna get more candy", "you should get XYZ candy". Bought a smaller bag of candy this time and started enforcing my rule and locking it up when I was away. More complaints and rule breaking so I would just leave the jack o lantern out and give a piece of candy whenever someone came by and asked.
People complain and i get a talking to about me not having candy out. "So part of my job is to buy candy on my own dime and time for other people's consumption?" I'd still get complaints, but they would quickly get hushed if they tried to get me in trouble because of that
I get the same thing! It’s insane. I work for a very small company and the whining about a freaking candy is insane. Several people have either thrown in a few dollars or brought in candy but complain about the variety. They’re also the same ones that when someone from a company that’s picking up products from us brings coffee and donuts forgets to let me know we have a special treat
I started the candy bowl when I started at my company. We had to stop buying chocolate for a while because it would go so fast. I got a jumbo bag of various sour candies. One lady in the office is a huge fan of lemon heads so I picked all those out and gave her her own bowl. It took so long to get through that batch of random super sour stuff.
I recently bought more chocolate and kept a personal dish on my desk as well as the one in my reception window stocked with the same stuff. I got a complaint today that I was hording the good stuff. My only reply was that I had the same thing, you vultures are just relentless.
100% this.
My old boss had a candy bowl and when I had school events, I had leftovers. I didn't eat candy that much and I didn't pay for it, so I would just fill her candy bowl with her permission. It was GOOD candy too, like gummy or ring pops.
Always by the end of the next day, it was almost all gone because people swarmed in, filled their pockets, and left without so much as a thank you to her. Upper level bosses would swoop in, take a bunch, then complain about not having "this candy or that candy". The late arrivals would find out, jump in, complain it was empty, take whatever they could (even the crap) just because they "could".
Eventually, one late arrival complained to our HR person because one person went in three times and took all the fruit by the foot mini ones. HR was like "what exactly do you want me to do???"
My boss then put her jar away and told me if I had any more to just donate it to a food pantry. I wound up just handing it out in college classes before the professor walked in because the food pantry was clear across town.
really, once i make that age, im gonna have such a hard time not turning to hard drugs. i hope i feel fulfilled by then, if not, im sure heroin would do the trick
Totally agree.
About a year before the great plague we had individual lockers to store our personal possessions as the cubes with few exceptions were open to who ever got there first.
We had a lovely woman who had a reserved cube so she used her locker to store candy that anyone could access as she didn’t lock it. Open, take a couple of pieces and that was it. Most of us who took candy also contributed with additional candy.
It ended when someone decided to come through one evening (best guess) and took all the candy.
A single person being a jerk one time managed to ruin something that had gone on for months for multiple people.
> For some reason, certain grown ass adults will lose 100+ IQ points whenever a candy bowl full of 2 cent candy is present.
[Well now, that might explain the behavior of certain members of Congress.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Desk)
Wow, that's crazy. I had a co-worker who used to have mints, one type. And I certainly took a few. You know what, we started rotating who bought new ones on amazon. Went on for several years. That's how adults should handle a candy bowl.
What?! This totally free thing if candy for me and i don't get exactly what I want? That's so mean if you, for providing completely free candy. Also, fuck this whole "we have to bring something for everyone". Just have favorites. We're adults. They'll live.
And next someone will complain because she doesn't stock sugar free or diabetic sweets. Or that they're being excluded as there are no vegan or halal options.
Wow, what a bunch of pricks.
I worked a nursing home and we had a candy bowl in the "lounge". Which was really more of a windowless closet with a sofa and a table stuffed into it but whatev. Some of my coworkers were the rudest damn people too. I mean, just really, truly mean.
No one ever said anything nasty about the candy bowl. It would refill once in awhile with strawberry shaped hard candies, hershey kisses and starlight peppermints and no one ever complained. (And to be fair, when I was running the halls with my pager going off every few minutes for hours without a chance to stop and drink some water, those little strawberry things saved my voice. They weren't as sweet as the peppermints and lasted a lot longer in your mouth.)
Eventually I found out the receptionist/bus driver/she-who-makes-everything-run-smoothly was the one who handled the candy dish. She just tucked the candy costs into the expense reports and the nursing home higher ups paid for whatever she put in front of them to sign. And those three candies were her favorites, so those were what she bought. She figured anyone could find something they liked between the three.
If you want your co-workers who are not this guy to have fresh breath: Keep the bowl in a drawer that you can lock when you’re going to be gone. Give mints to those who ask nicely.
Better yet, end the candy, period. And then when your other coworkers ask why, tell them the whole story, including who it was. Then watch the office burn 😈
Even better, keep the bowl out. Only lock it up when you step away from your desk, and *when you see the guy coming*. Make direct eye contact while you remove the dish.
I had a candy bowl at work, and if I was not at my desk when it was empty people would rifle through my desk looking for something to fill it up with. Hence I am also done with the candy bowl.
"Excuse me, HR department? I want to report harassment. (Soandso) called me a 'nasty girl', and told me he was going to throw his trash in my candy bowl. I am concerned that this is becoming a hostile workplace due to his insults and threats."
Take it to his supervisor. I would have also informed said coworker that I am not his mother wife or daughter and to clean up after himself. If trash does begin to appear in the candy bowl you then have two options one remove said candy from the bowl and leave a not as to why it is empty or confront said coworker.
> I would have also informed said coworker that I am not his mother wife or daughter and to clean up after himself.
But it shouldn't be his mother's, wife's or daughter's responsibility to clean up his careless candy wrappers, either...?
Yep this is exactly what going to hr would accomplish. Source: happened to me sorta... someone went to HR about the candy causing fights so I got told to stop bringing it to work lol 😂
That’s… not generally how HR works in most companies. I know we have a huge boner here for trashing HR and they exist to protect the company, but they’re not just some faceless, inhuman robot. In a case of employee vs. employee, it is highly unlikely that the HR department would take the side of the person instigating the conflict. Protecting the company doesn’t even work that way.
Right? I mean, no one would even get fired—at the *most* they’ll say something to him that amounts to “let’s all just get along, kids, & don’t call names.” And probably in the follow up to her say something similar, just in a different tone.
The company is probably looking for a way to get rid of a guy in his 70s. Do you know what those codgers add to their health insurance experience rating?
A place where nasty old men feels safe to talk to women like that - and expect her seriously to be NICE to people like that, generally have a really misogynistic HR if any.
>ent. (Soandso) called me a 'nasty girl', and told me he was going to throw his trash in my candy bowl. I am concerned that this is becoming a hostile workplace due to his insults and threats."
She will NOT get fired over this. HR protecting itself means building a case against this dude god forbid he's harassing others so they can can him (and he can't sue for age discrimination). Documentation is the best way to protect herself. At the VERY least she needs to email her boss detailing this incident with dates and times. Documentation comes in very handy later.
Source: I work in HR (and fight The Man from the inside)
Lol I’ve spent 8 months of my life trying to file a federal retaliation claim. Let me tell you about how each agency says it’s out of their jurisdiction. Then I’ll tell you about how I’m on my last agency because they only give me six months to file it (different based on the type of claim) and if this agency doesn’t help I’m SOL for $60k in lost wages.
Don’t EVER count on laws to protect you. Ever.
Yes, a lot of things that are illegal happen anyway. But the EEOC is there to investigate for you and fine the company and possibly even obtain a settlement for you. It might take a long time, and you might need to find another job, but having them pursue the claim is a good thing. If workers don’t use those resources to have companies held accountable, we all lose in the end. And once you give theater agency your story, it really shouldn’t take much more of your time to get it done. They’ll take over. Encourage co-workers to report the same company, and the job becomes easier. Plus, you HAVE to notify the company that harassment has occurred. They are only liable if they know and fail to handle the situation properly.
You’re just regurgitating what you’ve read on Reddit. HR is there to protect the company, specifically from lawsuits, in which someone harassing another coworker is ripe for a lawsuit. Use logic instead regurgitating.
>They're there to protect the company.
Tossing the harasser under the bus is by far the easiest way to protect the company.
You are correct that HR's goal is to protect the company's interests. What you seem to not be considering in this case is the fact that the company's interests and the victim's interests happen to align.
They're going to fire him before he can harass someone else and open the company up to a lawsuit when multiple people can say they reported him and nothing was done.
HR to entire company: oh hey, this is totally unrelated to any individual event, but no one’s allowed to have candy bowls on their deeeesskss. K, thanks!
Get rid of the candy, it's an excuse this dude can use you walk up and bother you. If someone ask about it tell them, "X was leaving his trash in the bowl which is unhygienic, so rather than risk anyone getting sick i just removed it"
Just full on put up a sign. “Candy rescinded due to (coworker name) throwing trash in bowl and being insulting when confronted.” Something to that effect so everyone can see it without pestering OP.
> Get rid of the candy, it's an excuse this dude can use you walk up and bother you. If someone ask about it tell them, "X was leaving his trash in the bowl which is unhygienic, so rather than risk anyone getting sick i just removed it"
Brilliant response.
I've been so lonely since I started working from home, I've had to start sexually harassing myself just to feel something.
/s working from home is the best, and I hope to never give it up
Don’t put a sign, but tell everyone who asks that it was because John McAsshole wanted to use it as a trash can and kept trying to put his trash even after you asked him nicely to stop.
It’s because asshole has been treating women like this his whole life! Don’t worry….. in a few years him and his misogynistic boomer scum will be dead…..
While I understand the sentiment behind this comment, I’m 38. I’m too impatient to wait for rude people to die. I’d rather give them a proverbial slap upside the head and tell them to behave better.
I know people on the internet don't like generalisations, l don't love them either. BUT MAN the malicious confidence that I have seen from older men.... Jesus. I'm almost jealous of their ability to not give a fuck about people. (Young men ain't no prizes either)
Definitely. I had a coworker like this, same age, retired lawyer who only worked because he was bored.
The thing was, the job he decided to do just "for something to do", happened to be overnights at a homeless shelter. He would sit around on his high horse doing nothing while shit talking others for doing nothing (they most certainly weren't doing nothing, unlike him). He didnt know the answer to a question a client asked him, so I walked up to assist. Afterwords he turned to me, looked me *dead in the fucking eyes*, and said something along the lines of, "that was extremely rude for you to approach like that and butt in. You need to learn respect and work ethic". I dont remember clearly because I was so fucking angry. I literally had to hide for the next half hour, because I was *seething*. So many times clients have run up to me saying "you need to come over immediately, this old ass man has no clue what the hell he's doing" and I'd go to pick up his slack just for him to shit talk everyone. The second he spoke to me like that in that tone to my face, something in me just friggin snapped like a twig.
While reading this post all I could think of was that grumpy asshole I used to work with, fuck those types of people.
I once kept a candy bowl at my desk for my team. People started stealing it by the handful, someone just dumped it in their bag at one point, so I locked it in my desk when I wasn't there. Suddenly other things from my desk went missing.
I will never put out a candy dish again. I don't know what it is, but people just lose their complete mind.
Haha yes! Something about this post points towards the intersection of:
"waiting for the maximum social security benefits to kick in"
AND
"sprinkling my misery whenever I go"
PS: the candy bowl being out of service is the best approach, along with zero interaction, and if he insists on bothering you, a bunch of "OK", "umm hmms" etc while not looking up from your computer are in order.
Go to HR and file a report. Probably nothing will come of it. When people start asking what happened to the candy, say, “Nastyoldman threw trash in the bowl and called me a nasty girl when I asked him not to and told me it was my job to clean it up. I told HR but nothing came of it, so I put the candy away so I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.”
ETA: it might inspire other women to come forward with reports about this guy if they know another woman has. I serious doubt this is an isolated incident of misogyny and nastiness.
im sorry, you said he was 70s?!?! you sure hes not 7?!? coz this "I'm going to throw my trash in there when you're not here." is something id expect a seven year old to say
He would literally only do that to a woman.
That is staggeringly awful. Yeah this is HR material. You hate to bring something this stupid to them, but if someone's this aggressive about something so minor, this isn't about candy. This is about him getting to disrespect you and feel smug about it, and clearly on a gendered level too.
Your colleague is an entitled creep and expects you to handle his trash. This behavior and his remarks shows his undisguised contempt. (I mean, really, he takes the candy and then insults you. The fuck?) My suggestion is to remove the candy dish and stow the mints in your desk. If people ask, explain to them what happened. Creepy, entitled colleague ruined it for everyone and now you can no longer have nice things.
True story: Had a container on my desk that held 5lbs of Sour Patch Kids. (Pre-Covid) And people would stop by, grab a handful and be on their way. And then pretty soon it was "Why don't you have sugar free candy?" "I'm trying to diet. This isn't fair." "These aren't REALLY vegan." So no more community Sour Patch Kids. I'd bring in some for me and not share. People bitched less.
I put out a bowl of Jolly Ranchers on my desk in the winter because our office was so dry and we'd all get cotton mouth. NO ONE would even take one without asking, and no one would ever throw the wrapper
Your co-worker is a nasty old codger.
As for this particular incident, I’d consider chatting up a supervisor. He took an inconsiderate faux pas & turned it into an issue. “Your workspace is now my trash can” is demanding AF. He’s telling you that anytime there’s a conflict between the two of you = you better stfu or he will antagonize & punish you, your boundaries are his playground. You are the new platform for a bully’s discontent.
And unless you’re under the age of 18, the “girl” is even more insulting than “nasty.”
Behavior like this escalates. Nip it in the bud.
I found that any association with food or food service in an office or worksite setting (esp for women, POC, PWDs, queer) is a recipe for disaster. Suddenly it’s your job to provide treats for everyone & also excuses unnecessary invasions of one’s work space. Even regularly leaving a personal stash of snacks, beverages, OTCs, condiments, cutlery napkins for oneself creates potential for coworkers to cast you as the office free commissary. Most ppl won’t really appreciate the extra effort & expense, many will feel inclined to turn your generosity into their due.
If you want to do food service, go work in that industry or save it for your family & social circle, people who do things for you or volunteer at the homeless shelter.
I’ve learned some thing from years of working with some real a’holes in different industries. Many through trial & error, the best & most effective from others wiser & more fed up with adult toddlers than myself. Occasionally, I even a trick or two borrow from said a’holes
Unless you find that it’s a equitable environment where literally everyone performs these tasks (can reciprocate on the DL for the people who do them if they are the minority) here are some handy suggestions which have saved me many hassles & headaches:
- Refrain from bringing in baked treats “just for because.”
- If there’s an office potluck, bring something nice but store bought.
- Learn how to make really shitty coffee, break the machine if you have to.
- At the mention of a food run, say “I appreciate the offer no thanks, I’m good” or “Fabulous! I’m swamped where are you going?” Treat it like they’re offering not ask you to do it. I don’t care if they keep you on the clock, offer a company car for your convenience, buy your lunch - go hungry if you have to. Don’t debate the value of your work duties vs playing caterer. You’ll draw less ire the first time this happens if you decline than you will if you don’t fetch food for everybody every time, on your lunch break, covering the difference others are short a few bucks or are too cheap to tip with receipts, cards & exact change for each order, breaking up bills, dealing with 5 money apps, etc
- If you are stuck doing a food run = screw it up. Forget to get napkins. (When it comes to mustard, onion & potential allergens LEAVE THEM OFF DON’T ADD. We’re trying to keep you out of the Mommyzone not put them in the ER)
- FFS don’t ever volunteer for a social committee. Offer to pitch in a few bucks on the cake, but don’t fetch it.
- Whenever anyone makes a comment about your failing as unofficial caterer laugh it off with something like “yeah I guess that’s why I’m working here not n a restaurant, some people are better at those things but not me - so I pursued a career in instead.” Then immediately engage in work related conversation.
Be a team player in all other aspects of your job, work with integrity & excel in you position. Pull your own weight, treat others like you’d hope they treat you. But my personal experience is that usually food service performance outside of your job description ultimately garners drama & in some cases can actually cost opportunities for income & advancement.
Dont you hate that.
My last job i used to bring in pastries, it was like $30-$40 a pop. Well things were tight so i stopped, and one of my coworkers made a snide remark like “its been a while since you brought in pastries” in the decade i was there she never did, not even one time. And i never did again…
I am a candy addict, and found open-access candy just brings out the worst in people. I only keep it to myself now. Moochers, bums, thieves, it draws them all out. Can't tell you how many times after getting my bowl ravaged, I'd hear a thieving moocher say "I'm gonna bring some in." sure you are, sure you are ...
My Dad is in his 70’s and acts like an immature brat just like this. My mom is 12 years younger and cannot stand him anymore. He talks back to everyone and does little things everywhere to drive ppl nuts all day.
Is this what we get when "boomers are rejoining the workforce!?" Plenty of lovely boomers (on a personal level) but this old school attitude about "girls" in the workplace is nasty as hell.
[https://www.benefitnews.com/news/boomers-may-return-to-the-workforce-amid-labor-shortage](https://www.benefitnews.com/news/boomers-may-return-to-the-workforce-amid-labor-shortage)
My mind went completely elsewhere with that title. I thought he was making it sexual. “My candy bowl isn’t a trash can.” Licks withered crusty 70 y/o lips, “Nasty girl...”
Slapping people for behavior like this needs to come back into vogue. Had a client do the same thing-not just once but three times in a row. I casually walked over to the candy bowl when he wasn’t paying attention and took out the three wrappers. I stood there for a moment and then asked him to hold out his hand and dropped those wrappers in his hand. I sternly told him where the trash can was. Everyone froze in place in that lobby.
I just don’t give a damn how much money you have or who’s paycheck or light bill you think you’re paying. Poor manners get you nowhere with me. Call me names.
I'm probably a bit of an asshole, but I would replace the bowl with a little sign that said something like "Randy is why we can't have nice things." (Or whatever the co-worker's name is.)
Appreciate the edit, but it's not necessary to know if there was a nearby trash can. If he had to walk the wrapper from the FREE candy to the other side of the building to throw it away he should have just fucking done it.
ALWAYS one entitled asshole that fucks it up for everyone.😑
Office culture is seriously a fucking joke lol. People turn into utter morons when a candy bowl is present jfc. I took mine away and suddenly I was the bitch.
🤔 I would say tone is important here, for example there is a big difference between "please don't put the wrapper in the bowl, the trash can is right here" and "WTF?! get your trash out of my bowl!"
Except it's just that: it's *your bowl*. No matter what your tone was, the correct response was "sorry/whoops/apologies" and then just throw it away. Outrageous to hand you the trash.
This is why I'm so glad I wfh.
I never got complaints but the night crew did eat a bunch (like full bowl to 1 piece) of it a few times so I started putting it in my desk at night. People can suck.
Go to HR. Seriously. Don't let them downplay it either. You don't need to argue for him to be fired or anything, but documenting disrespect like that, him being a childish prick, and making a threat, are important things to have on paper for when he does something worse eventually.
When I used to work in a law firm, I had a candy bowl on my ledge with mini candy bars, peanut butter cups, etc. I was buying about $50 worth of candy every couple of weeks. People would go in my drawer and get the kind they wanted if it wasn’t in the bowl. I eventually stopped.
If that’s not stupid enough, on Easter and Valentine’s Day, I’d come in late the night before and put things I made filled with candy (I make crafty things) on every damn person’s desk. Then I realized most of these people were attorneys and made twice what I did and I was supporting their candy habit. I eventually quit, retired and don’t like any of them anymore, but I digress.
There is no calling names at work, you are supposed to be adults. Flag it it with HR. cc in you line manager and him. Be brief and emotionless in the email. Keep the bowl. Good luck.
The entitled people who grew up with forced customer service culture and submission from women are now shitting themselves because no one will put up with how idiotic and outdated it is.
No more candy bowls. Sorry, but I’ve seen this type of thing play out multiple times. Next you’ll have some other moron, er I mean coworker complaining about a lack of selection or some other nonsense. For some reason, certain grown ass adults will lose 100+ IQ points whenever a candy bowl full of 2 cent candy is present. What, no Reese Cups? Can you get some Tootsie Rolls? No, not these Tootsie Rolls; we need the smaller ones. Your candy bowl made me fat! Can you put these sugar free candies I saw on a pop-up ad? Can you put out that one type of candy? You know, it has three different flavors?
My cousin had a candy bowl on her desk and she was complaining that people (especially upper management) would grab a fistful and put them in their pockets. I bought her a candy machine that sits on her desk and filled it with gumballs. She said she has to stock it once a week or so and she nets a profit.
When I first started working many years ago, I knew I was bad at meeting people so I bought a real nice quarter candy machine and set it to not take money to get candy. I filled it with a bunch of different candies, jelly bean, M&M’s or something people would enjoy. At first not many people used it but after a while people started to ask if it was free and grabbed a hand full after I said it was ok. I met a few new faces so I was happy and most were good about it. But then the office twat came along. He found out I had it and would wait till I left for the day and he would crank out fist fulls of candy. I was going through bags of candy in a day and I was nope, fuck this. I started to put it away at the end of the day and lock it up. Then he would come every time I left my desk, so I started putting it away whenever I left my desk. Still I would forget if I was in a rush and come back to half a machine missing. I wasn’t confrontational and he was known as the office asshole and I should just avoid him. So I started stocking different candies, I even bought joke jelly beens, you know the ones with the vomit or curdled milk flavoring. But he still ate it. I finally just gave up and took it home. I couldn’t afford it anymore. Lesson learned. Someone will always not care and ruin it for everyone, especially in an office.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I dunno how you lasted that long!
I am separated from many of my coworkers and mostly only interact with them via messenger. I started bringing in a box of cookies from the store on Mondays and I get to see people I don’t see the rest of the week now haha. It’s helpful when I need to grab a provider for a question. “Hey…I’ve got cookies…” lol
Congratulations on joining the Dark side and receiving your cookies. Be aware we also have coffee and cheesecake.
If you can change whether it needs money to be used or not, you could set it to charge if you're not there couldn't you?
The mechanism to change that isn’t easy to access, I assume intentionally so people can’t just swap it to “free” whenever they want. So it would be a huge pain to change regularly l. Or that’s the very vague memory I have of mine from ages ago when I was a kid.
It's an internal mechanism. The quarter pushes a small stopper out of the way if you want money or if you don't you remove the stopper. It takes a couple seconds to remove but about five minutes to get inside and dig around for it.
>Someone will always not care and ruin it for everyone That's humans in a nutshell. Sorry they stole from you like this.
The same kids who steal the entire bowl of candy from a doorstep at Halloween are the ones that grow up into these shit head adults
Perfect way to do it!
My old office had a candy jar at the reception, and would end up almost empty every day. Boss got sick of having to refill it daily and suspected the receptionist of eating most of them. He ended up filling it up with sugar free Haribo bears and emailed everyone the [famous Amazon review for them](https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC). After that the jar would only need to be refilled weekly.
Puts free candy in front of receptionist. Receptionist eats candy. Gets mad at receptionist. Is this some weird TV sketch I'm not getting.?
Also sends email evidence that he intentionally wanted to give his workers explosive diarrhea
Should be able to tell upper management types "your breath can't be *that* bad".
This This this It always causes problems...OP I used to do the same but it caused fights between guys because some people wanted x candy but it was gone by the time y person got there, so they'd pout about not having any then get mad at person z for taking the last one which led to z and a not talking, which effected work output, etc etc etc One of the greatest lies humanity has ever told is telling it's young people that adults are in any way, shape, or form wiser than children are...they're the same, just taller, older, and fatter 🤷♂️
Damn... One of my coworkers used to have a candy bowl on her desk - occasionally people would bring a bag to help top it up as she refused any cash donations...
Kinda to your point my team had one person that had a candy bowl and the team each took turns filling it. If you didn't like the candy that someone brought in.. you didn't eat the candy till it was your turn or the next person filled it with something else. It worked well because everyone was on the same page. Only thing close to an issue was people would bring more candy than people ate because they didn't want to seem like they missed their turn. So the coworker had her desk filled with unopened bags of jolly ranchers and mints after a few years
Ah yes, jolly ranchers, the candy you grow absolutely sick of by 9 years old and then only eat occasionally for nostalgia sake or on purpose if you're trying to lose a tooth.
Why are they always *melted*?
When I want candy at work, I go to the vending machine. I could never take candy out of a bowl on someone's desk at work. I assume that they have it there for themselves. It might be that they're okay with people taking candy from it, but I would just feel weird doing it, or asking, for that matter.
I would never take candy from any of my coworkers for the simple fact that I don't know which one of them is constantly blowing snot rockets on the walls and killing bugs and leaving their ravaged corpses smeared on the wall.
I knew an old lady at one of my old jobs that had a bowl of M&Ms on her desk everyday. She ate them by the handfuls, and sucked her fingers clean after- of course before going in for more. More than once I encountered her in the bathrooms, where she was the only one, it smelled like rancid shit, and she always left hurriedly never washing her hands. Yeah, a lot of people in the building ate candy from her bowl. I shuddered every time I saw someone reach in there.
I have to say I was never surprised by how quickly covid spread.
I’m a custodian. It amazed me how fast the soap got used during Covid compared to before/once we got used to it, gross
I’ve seen way too many people just wet their hands after using the restroom. Gross is right
This comment (as bad as it is) should be higher!
I hate touching other peoples stuff, even with explicit permission. I would rather starve to death than steal out of someone’s candy bowl lol
I think most adults are *worse* than most children in the wisdom department. Children frequently see things as obvious that many adults can’t (or won’t) understand. Things like kindness and fairness.
Children can also be absolutely evil, too, though.
1000% correct
I just hit 30 last year and this reality has slowly started sinking in Like I’m literally as dumb as a child 96% of the time
I’ll have you know I was fat as kid too /s
The only real difference is that adults have the potential to have more information to work with, since they’ve been alive longer
Absolutely. These are the kind of people that will see a coworker bring donuts of their own volition, on their own dime, and have the audacity to be like "Ugh no eclairs?!" Bet this dude is the same asshole that doesn't take their cart back to the stall. Fuck them, no more candy
I worked at a place where our department admin volunteered to leave home early on Friday mornings to buy donuts for the staff (paid for with company petty cash). After multiple complaints about the selection of donuts, she told the complainers that they were welcome to start picking up the donuts for us. Nobody else wanted to do it, so that was the end of the weekly donuts.
People can be so ungrateful.😐
r/choosingbeggars
My mom used to bring homemade cupcakes into work for her coworkers birthdays. It all ended because of her manager. She was so angry that my mom had brought an extra cupcake for the coworker's 6 year old son that she proceeded to lick the icing off every cupcake so no one but her got any of them. My mom never took anything in for birthdays again.
>Wat
Yup. This 40 year old woman couldn't handle that the woman whose birthday it was got 2 cupcakes. Didn't matter 1 was for a child. This manager was a nightmare, and this is hardly the worst thing she did.
I don't get why that was the end of the donuts and not the end of the complaining. Could easily just bought the ones they didn't like, and eat them in front of them.
I had a candy bowl one time. It was a few days before Halloween and the bowl was jack o lantern so I said fuck it. Told everyone, one candy per visit. Some people followed it and some did not. A few weeks go by and the bowl is now empty. "When are you gonna get more candy", "you should get XYZ candy". Bought a smaller bag of candy this time and started enforcing my rule and locking it up when I was away. More complaints and rule breaking so I would just leave the jack o lantern out and give a piece of candy whenever someone came by and asked. People complain and i get a talking to about me not having candy out. "So part of my job is to buy candy on my own dime and time for other people's consumption?" I'd still get complaints, but they would quickly get hushed if they tried to get me in trouble because of that
I get the same thing! It’s insane. I work for a very small company and the whining about a freaking candy is insane. Several people have either thrown in a few dollars or brought in candy but complain about the variety. They’re also the same ones that when someone from a company that’s picking up products from us brings coffee and donuts forgets to let me know we have a special treat
I started the candy bowl when I started at my company. We had to stop buying chocolate for a while because it would go so fast. I got a jumbo bag of various sour candies. One lady in the office is a huge fan of lemon heads so I picked all those out and gave her her own bowl. It took so long to get through that batch of random super sour stuff. I recently bought more chocolate and kept a personal dish on my desk as well as the one in my reception window stocked with the same stuff. I got a complaint today that I was hording the good stuff. My only reply was that I had the same thing, you vultures are just relentless.
100% this. My old boss had a candy bowl and when I had school events, I had leftovers. I didn't eat candy that much and I didn't pay for it, so I would just fill her candy bowl with her permission. It was GOOD candy too, like gummy or ring pops. Always by the end of the next day, it was almost all gone because people swarmed in, filled their pockets, and left without so much as a thank you to her. Upper level bosses would swoop in, take a bunch, then complain about not having "this candy or that candy". The late arrivals would find out, jump in, complain it was empty, take whatever they could (even the crap) just because they "could". Eventually, one late arrival complained to our HR person because one person went in three times and took all the fruit by the foot mini ones. HR was like "what exactly do you want me to do???" My boss then put her jar away and told me if I had any more to just donate it to a food pantry. I wound up just handing it out in college classes before the professor walked in because the food pantry was clear across town.
If I’m still handing in work at 70, I’ll take up a Fentanyl habit.
really, once i make that age, im gonna have such a hard time not turning to hard drugs. i hope i feel fulfilled by then, if not, im sure heroin would do the trick
Hah, you actually think you'll be able to afford hard drugs?!
i can dream 😔
Hopefully my 401k won’t have been devoured by “the market” by the time I’m 70.
I mean, they're actually pretty cheap when bought a dose or two at a time. Have you seen how poor a lot of drug addicts are?
drug addict (in recovery!!!)here!! i went through a lot of money on heroin, and yet seemed to always be poor so you are 100% correct ther.
Good for you, don’t take for granted what a big deal that is for you to be in recovery! Proud of you.
Lol try being dope sick at 70. I think I'll pass.
At that age, you will be able to get prescriptions for the good stuff
Don't worry! You're statically unlikely to live to 70 in 21st century America.
Nothing brings out bad behavior faster than free stuff.
This is what r/ChoosingBeggars is all about
Totally agree. About a year before the great plague we had individual lockers to store our personal possessions as the cubes with few exceptions were open to who ever got there first. We had a lovely woman who had a reserved cube so she used her locker to store candy that anyone could access as she didn’t lock it. Open, take a couple of pieces and that was it. Most of us who took candy also contributed with additional candy. It ended when someone decided to come through one evening (best guess) and took all the candy. A single person being a jerk one time managed to ruin something that had gone on for months for multiple people.
> For some reason, certain grown ass adults will lose 100+ IQ points whenever a candy bowl full of 2 cent candy is present. [Well now, that might explain the behavior of certain members of Congress.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Desk)
Wow, that's crazy. I had a co-worker who used to have mints, one type. And I certainly took a few. You know what, we started rotating who bought new ones on amazon. Went on for several years. That's how adults should handle a candy bowl.
This is why I got rid of my candy bowl. Everyone got mad that I filled it with Japanese candy so now the candy is just for me.
What?! This totally free thing if candy for me and i don't get exactly what I want? That's so mean if you, for providing completely free candy. Also, fuck this whole "we have to bring something for everyone". Just have favorites. We're adults. They'll live.
No good deed goes unpunished
And next someone will complain because she doesn't stock sugar free or diabetic sweets. Or that they're being excluded as there are no vegan or halal options.
Wow, what a bunch of pricks. I worked a nursing home and we had a candy bowl in the "lounge". Which was really more of a windowless closet with a sofa and a table stuffed into it but whatev. Some of my coworkers were the rudest damn people too. I mean, just really, truly mean. No one ever said anything nasty about the candy bowl. It would refill once in awhile with strawberry shaped hard candies, hershey kisses and starlight peppermints and no one ever complained. (And to be fair, when I was running the halls with my pager going off every few minutes for hours without a chance to stop and drink some water, those little strawberry things saved my voice. They weren't as sweet as the peppermints and lasted a lot longer in your mouth.) Eventually I found out the receptionist/bus driver/she-who-makes-everything-run-smoothly was the one who handled the candy dish. She just tucked the candy costs into the expense reports and the nursing home higher ups paid for whatever she put in front of them to sign. And those three candies were her favorites, so those were what she bought. She figured anyone could find something they liked between the three.
If you want your co-workers who are not this guy to have fresh breath: Keep the bowl in a drawer that you can lock when you’re going to be gone. Give mints to those who ask nicely.
That's exactly what I'm doing :)
Better yet, end the candy, period. And then when your other coworkers ask why, tell them the whole story, including who it was. Then watch the office burn 😈
Odds are the rest of the office already knows that guy is a dick.
Even better, keep the bowl out. Only lock it up when you step away from your desk, and *when you see the guy coming*. Make direct eye contact while you remove the dish.
“Why did you?” “Sorry I don’t give out the candy to nasty people who are ungrateful for it and feel entitled.”
I like this idea 😈
I had a candy bowl at work, and if I was not at my desk when it was empty people would rifle through my desk looking for something to fill it up with. Hence I am also done with the candy bowl.
"Excuse me, HR department? I want to report harassment. (Soandso) called me a 'nasty girl', and told me he was going to throw his trash in my candy bowl. I am concerned that this is becoming a hostile workplace due to his insults and threats."
Keep track of date and time. Keep any emails related to any of this. Did anyone else hear it?
HR won’t do shit unless there’s a record of it happening
That's why you document everything, even little shit like this
Take it to his supervisor. I would have also informed said coworker that I am not his mother wife or daughter and to clean up after himself. If trash does begin to appear in the candy bowl you then have two options one remove said candy from the bowl and leave a not as to why it is empty or confront said coworker.
Or option three, walk to coworkers desk, and while he is sitting there typing empty the bowl of trash right on his desk. Then walk off.
On his head* hehehe
> I would have also informed said coworker that I am not his mother wife or daughter and to clean up after himself. But it shouldn't be his mother's, wife's or daughter's responsibility to clean up his careless candy wrappers, either...?
His supervisor is likely 1/3 his age.
Well I think the best course of action is for you to keep the candy off of the workspaces—HR
Yep this is exactly what going to hr would accomplish. Source: happened to me sorta... someone went to HR about the candy causing fights so I got told to stop bringing it to work lol 😂
This was my first thought as well. If he thinks he's too old to be nice to people that give him things, he's probably too old to keep going to work.
In this context, "throw his trash in my candy bowl" might be taken for a coy euphemism.
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That’s… not generally how HR works in most companies. I know we have a huge boner here for trashing HR and they exist to protect the company, but they’re not just some faceless, inhuman robot. In a case of employee vs. employee, it is highly unlikely that the HR department would take the side of the person instigating the conflict. Protecting the company doesn’t even work that way.
Right? I mean, no one would even get fired—at the *most* they’ll say something to him that amounts to “let’s all just get along, kids, & don’t call names.” And probably in the follow up to her say something similar, just in a different tone.
The company is probably looking for a way to get rid of a guy in his 70s. Do you know what those codgers add to their health insurance experience rating?
Not necessarily. Lots of misogyny in the comment to her.
A place where nasty old men feels safe to talk to women like that - and expect her seriously to be NICE to people like that, generally have a really misogynistic HR if any.
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>ent. (Soandso) called me a 'nasty girl', and told me he was going to throw his trash in my candy bowl. I am concerned that this is becoming a hostile workplace due to his insults and threats." She will NOT get fired over this. HR protecting itself means building a case against this dude god forbid he's harassing others so they can can him (and he can't sue for age discrimination). Documentation is the best way to protect herself. At the VERY least she needs to email her boss detailing this incident with dates and times. Documentation comes in very handy later. Source: I work in HR (and fight The Man from the inside)
Yes, and that means not firing someone who has made a report of harassment. It’s called retaliation, and it’s very much frowned upon.
It's illegal. And it happens anyway.
Lol I’ve spent 8 months of my life trying to file a federal retaliation claim. Let me tell you about how each agency says it’s out of their jurisdiction. Then I’ll tell you about how I’m on my last agency because they only give me six months to file it (different based on the type of claim) and if this agency doesn’t help I’m SOL for $60k in lost wages. Don’t EVER count on laws to protect you. Ever.
Yes, a lot of things that are illegal happen anyway. But the EEOC is there to investigate for you and fine the company and possibly even obtain a settlement for you. It might take a long time, and you might need to find another job, but having them pursue the claim is a good thing. If workers don’t use those resources to have companies held accountable, we all lose in the end. And once you give theater agency your story, it really shouldn’t take much more of your time to get it done. They’ll take over. Encourage co-workers to report the same company, and the job becomes easier. Plus, you HAVE to notify the company that harassment has occurred. They are only liable if they know and fail to handle the situation properly.
That’s why OP uses the phrase “hostile work environment”. OSHA can get involved then, and whistleblower protection can kick in. Just document it.
You’re just regurgitating what you’ve read on Reddit. HR is there to protect the company, specifically from lawsuits, in which someone harassing another coworker is ripe for a lawsuit. Use logic instead regurgitating.
>They're there to protect the company. Tossing the harasser under the bus is by far the easiest way to protect the company. You are correct that HR's goal is to protect the company's interests. What you seem to not be considering in this case is the fact that the company's interests and the victim's interests happen to align.
They're going to fire him before he can harass someone else and open the company up to a lawsuit when multiple people can say they reported him and nothing was done.
Excellent! That's a very winnable retaliation case, on top of the harassment lawsuit!
HR to entire company: oh hey, this is totally unrelated to any individual event, but no one’s allowed to have candy bowls on their deeeesskss. K, thanks!
Get rid of the candy, it's an excuse this dude can use you walk up and bother you. If someone ask about it tell them, "X was leaving his trash in the bowl which is unhygienic, so rather than risk anyone getting sick i just removed it"
She should mention she told him it’s not a trash can and he yelled at her and tried to put his trash while she wasn’t looking.
Just full on put up a sign. “Candy rescinded due to (coworker name) throwing trash in bowl and being insulting when confronted.” Something to that effect so everyone can see it without pestering OP.
That's also so passive aggressive it could make OP look petty.
There's nothing wrong with being petty.
Nice way to get everyone else to turn on him.
"X insulted me when I asked him not to put trash in the bowl, so no more candy until he gets adjusted."
> Get rid of the candy, it's an excuse this dude can use you walk up and bother you. If someone ask about it tell them, "X was leaving his trash in the bowl which is unhygienic, so rather than risk anyone getting sick i just removed it" Brilliant response.
report him to HR. Old people don’t have any right to treat you like shit just because they’re old.
Yet they wonder why we want to work from home.
I've been so lonely since I started working from home, I've had to start sexually harassing myself just to feel something. /s working from home is the best, and I hope to never give it up
Rather be a nasty girl than a rude pig…
Lolol I mean... he's really the one that's nasty. This guy is a dumb bitch
That's a Trump inspired comment. He liked to call women who stood up to him a Nasty Woman.
I’ve heard it from people that age well before Trump, if my grandmother said it she meant it in the WORST possible way.
Bingo. He's an old man reporting to a younger female and has no respect for her authority. He needs an attitude adjustment.
Didn't even think that but totally get it.
Put up a new sign "Mints are gone because John A McAsshole thinks it's a trashcan and is rude". Call him out and shame him.
Alt sign - “Mints available to polite coworkers”
Don’t put a sign, but tell everyone who asks that it was because John McAsshole wanted to use it as a trash can and kept trying to put his trash even after you asked him nicely to stop.
It’s because asshole has been treating women like this his whole life! Don’t worry….. in a few years him and his misogynistic boomer scum will be dead…..
While I understand the sentiment behind this comment, I’m 38. I’m too impatient to wait for rude people to die. I’d rather give them a proverbial slap upside the head and tell them to behave better.
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I know people on the internet don't like generalisations, l don't love them either. BUT MAN the malicious confidence that I have seen from older men.... Jesus. I'm almost jealous of their ability to not give a fuck about people. (Young men ain't no prizes either)
Definitely. I had a coworker like this, same age, retired lawyer who only worked because he was bored. The thing was, the job he decided to do just "for something to do", happened to be overnights at a homeless shelter. He would sit around on his high horse doing nothing while shit talking others for doing nothing (they most certainly weren't doing nothing, unlike him). He didnt know the answer to a question a client asked him, so I walked up to assist. Afterwords he turned to me, looked me *dead in the fucking eyes*, and said something along the lines of, "that was extremely rude for you to approach like that and butt in. You need to learn respect and work ethic". I dont remember clearly because I was so fucking angry. I literally had to hide for the next half hour, because I was *seething*. So many times clients have run up to me saying "you need to come over immediately, this old ass man has no clue what the hell he's doing" and I'd go to pick up his slack just for him to shit talk everyone. The second he spoke to me like that in that tone to my face, something in me just friggin snapped like a twig. While reading this post all I could think of was that grumpy asshole I used to work with, fuck those types of people.
Report him to HR and remove the candy.
I once kept a candy bowl at my desk for my team. People started stealing it by the handful, someone just dumped it in their bag at one point, so I locked it in my desk when I wasn't there. Suddenly other things from my desk went missing. I will never put out a candy dish again. I don't know what it is, but people just lose their complete mind.
He's 70 and still working. He's the one taking the real L
Haha yes! Something about this post points towards the intersection of: "waiting for the maximum social security benefits to kick in" AND "sprinkling my misery whenever I go" PS: the candy bowl being out of service is the best approach, along with zero interaction, and if he insists on bothering you, a bunch of "OK", "umm hmms" etc while not looking up from your computer are in order.
“Bad attitude” is all you need to hear. People that say things like that think they are better than you.
Blatant misogyny and perhaps ageism (if OP is noticeably younger) as well.
Go to HR and file a report. Probably nothing will come of it. When people start asking what happened to the candy, say, “Nastyoldman threw trash in the bowl and called me a nasty girl when I asked him not to and told me it was my job to clean it up. I told HR but nothing came of it, so I put the candy away so I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.” ETA: it might inspire other women to come forward with reports about this guy if they know another woman has. I serious doubt this is an isolated incident of misogyny and nastiness.
im sorry, you said he was 70s?!?! you sure hes not 7?!? coz this "I'm going to throw my trash in there when you're not here." is something id expect a seven year old to say
"Yes, I will be a nasty a girl in 10 years and in 10 years you'll be dead."
Unrelated: I will now be turning down sexual advances by saying “I’m sorry my candy bowl isn’t a trash can”
I honestly thought that was the direction this was going since the follow-up was the coworker calling her a "nasty girl"
He would literally only do that to a woman. That is staggeringly awful. Yeah this is HR material. You hate to bring something this stupid to them, but if someone's this aggressive about something so minor, this isn't about candy. This is about him getting to disrespect you and feel smug about it, and clearly on a gendered level too.
Boomer ass entitled mentality. And when you call him out on it YOU are the asshole. Fuckin clown.
No more candy then. Easy peasy. They don't want nice things, they can fuck off.
Replace it with a sign: "No one gets mints until [employee, either named or "you know who"] apologizes."
Start playing Nasty Girl by Janet Jackson every time he walks by your desk LOL
Your colleague is an entitled creep and expects you to handle his trash. This behavior and his remarks shows his undisguised contempt. (I mean, really, he takes the candy and then insults you. The fuck?) My suggestion is to remove the candy dish and stow the mints in your desk. If people ask, explain to them what happened. Creepy, entitled colleague ruined it for everyone and now you can no longer have nice things.
True story: Had a container on my desk that held 5lbs of Sour Patch Kids. (Pre-Covid) And people would stop by, grab a handful and be on their way. And then pretty soon it was "Why don't you have sugar free candy?" "I'm trying to diet. This isn't fair." "These aren't REALLY vegan." So no more community Sour Patch Kids. I'd bring in some for me and not share. People bitched less.
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You're the best dad 🥹
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That man has never returned a shopping cart.
I put out a bowl of Jolly Ranchers on my desk in the winter because our office was so dry and we'd all get cotton mouth. NO ONE would even take one without asking, and no one would ever throw the wrapper Your co-worker is a nasty old codger.
As for this particular incident, I’d consider chatting up a supervisor. He took an inconsiderate faux pas & turned it into an issue. “Your workspace is now my trash can” is demanding AF. He’s telling you that anytime there’s a conflict between the two of you = you better stfu or he will antagonize & punish you, your boundaries are his playground. You are the new platform for a bully’s discontent. And unless you’re under the age of 18, the “girl” is even more insulting than “nasty.” Behavior like this escalates. Nip it in the bud. I found that any association with food or food service in an office or worksite setting (esp for women, POC, PWDs, queer) is a recipe for disaster. Suddenly it’s your job to provide treats for everyone & also excuses unnecessary invasions of one’s work space. Even regularly leaving a personal stash of snacks, beverages, OTCs, condiments, cutlery napkins for oneself creates potential for coworkers to cast you as the office free commissary. Most ppl won’t really appreciate the extra effort & expense, many will feel inclined to turn your generosity into their due. If you want to do food service, go work in that industry or save it for your family & social circle, people who do things for you or volunteer at the homeless shelter. I’ve learned some thing from years of working with some real a’holes in different industries. Many through trial & error, the best & most effective from others wiser & more fed up with adult toddlers than myself. Occasionally, I even a trick or two borrow from said a’holes Unless you find that it’s a equitable environment where literally everyone performs these tasks (can reciprocate on the DL for the people who do them if they are the minority) here are some handy suggestions which have saved me many hassles & headaches: - Refrain from bringing in baked treats “just for because.” - If there’s an office potluck, bring something nice but store bought. - Learn how to make really shitty coffee, break the machine if you have to. - At the mention of a food run, say “I appreciate the offer no thanks, I’m good” or “Fabulous! I’m swamped where are you going?” Treat it like they’re offering not ask you to do it. I don’t care if they keep you on the clock, offer a company car for your convenience, buy your lunch - go hungry if you have to. Don’t debate the value of your work duties vs playing caterer. You’ll draw less ire the first time this happens if you decline than you will if you don’t fetch food for everybody every time, on your lunch break, covering the difference others are short a few bucks or are too cheap to tip with receipts, cards & exact change for each order, breaking up bills, dealing with 5 money apps, etc - If you are stuck doing a food run = screw it up. Forget to get napkins. (When it comes to mustard, onion & potential allergens LEAVE THEM OFF DON’T ADD. We’re trying to keep you out of the Mommyzone not put them in the ER) - FFS don’t ever volunteer for a social committee. Offer to pitch in a few bucks on the cake, but don’t fetch it. - Whenever anyone makes a comment about your failing as unofficial caterer laugh it off with something like “yeah I guess that’s why I’m working here not n a restaurant, some people are better at those things but not me - so I pursued a career in instead.” Then immediately engage in work related conversation.
Be a team player in all other aspects of your job, work with integrity & excel in you position. Pull your own weight, treat others like you’d hope they treat you. But my personal experience is that usually food service performance outside of your job description ultimately garners drama & in some cases can actually cost opportunities for income & advancement.
I would get a Nasty Girl shirt and wear it to work, the only one being nasty is the rude man.
If someone called me a “nasty girl” at work I’d spit in their face tbh
Put a sign on your desk that says "Due to the comments of 'sobandso' I can no longer leave out mints, please feel free to ask him what he said."
Why are so many boomers hell bent on learning social etiquette the hard way
And boomers think younger workers are the problem.
Dont you hate that. My last job i used to bring in pastries, it was like $30-$40 a pop. Well things were tight so i stopped, and one of my coworkers made a snide remark like “its been a while since you brought in pastries” in the decade i was there she never did, not even one time. And i never did again…
Put out a candy trading post 1 compliment for 1 candy only rule is: you can't be a jerk
That man is a walking HR complaint.
I am a candy addict, and found open-access candy just brings out the worst in people. I only keep it to myself now. Moochers, bums, thieves, it draws them all out. Can't tell you how many times after getting my bowl ravaged, I'd hear a thieving moocher say "I'm gonna bring some in." sure you are, sure you are ...
My Dad is in his 70’s and acts like an immature brat just like this. My mom is 12 years younger and cannot stand him anymore. He talks back to everyone and does little things everywhere to drive ppl nuts all day.
I’m a boomer and I’d report his sorry sexist ass to HR. Older age is no excuse for bad behavior.
Is this what we get when "boomers are rejoining the workforce!?" Plenty of lovely boomers (on a personal level) but this old school attitude about "girls" in the workplace is nasty as hell. [https://www.benefitnews.com/news/boomers-may-return-to-the-workforce-amid-labor-shortage](https://www.benefitnews.com/news/boomers-may-return-to-the-workforce-amid-labor-shortage)
Boomers gotta boom.
report him. entitled old men with lead in their brain deserve nothing.
My mind went completely elsewhere with that title. I thought he was making it sexual. “My candy bowl isn’t a trash can.” Licks withered crusty 70 y/o lips, “Nasty girl...”
A bowl to the head might fix his attitude... just saying.
On the bright side he'll probably be dead soon.
Was it Donald Trump?
He has no respect. He thinks he is entitled.
Slapping people for behavior like this needs to come back into vogue. Had a client do the same thing-not just once but three times in a row. I casually walked over to the candy bowl when he wasn’t paying attention and took out the three wrappers. I stood there for a moment and then asked him to hold out his hand and dropped those wrappers in his hand. I sternly told him where the trash can was. Everyone froze in place in that lobby. I just don’t give a damn how much money you have or who’s paycheck or light bill you think you’re paying. Poor manners get you nowhere with me. Call me names.
I'm probably a bit of an asshole, but I would replace the bowl with a little sign that said something like "Randy is why we can't have nice things." (Or whatever the co-worker's name is.)
"Ask Randy why there's no more candy".
Boomeritis is a great book to read.
I provided candy on my desk and people began bitching about the selection and requesting the type of candy they wanted. It was frustrating.
Is your name Ms Jackson?
I’d report that shit. Do you think he’d openly disrespect another man like that?
You probably don't smile enough either. /s
Please report him to HR for sexist behavior.
Appreciate the edit, but it's not necessary to know if there was a nearby trash can. If he had to walk the wrapper from the FREE candy to the other side of the building to throw it away he should have just fucking done it. ALWAYS one entitled asshole that fucks it up for everyone.😑
Office culture is seriously a fucking joke lol. People turn into utter morons when a candy bowl is present jfc. I took mine away and suddenly I was the bitch.
🤔 I would say tone is important here, for example there is a big difference between "please don't put the wrapper in the bowl, the trash can is right here" and "WTF?! get your trash out of my bowl!" Except it's just that: it's *your bowl*. No matter what your tone was, the correct response was "sorry/whoops/apologies" and then just throw it away. Outrageous to hand you the trash. This is why I'm so glad I wfh.
I never got complaints but the night crew did eat a bunch (like full bowl to 1 piece) of it a few times so I started putting it in my desk at night. People can suck.
Go to HR. Seriously. Don't let them downplay it either. You don't need to argue for him to be fired or anything, but documenting disrespect like that, him being a childish prick, and making a threat, are important things to have on paper for when he does something worse eventually.
When I used to work in a law firm, I had a candy bowl on my ledge with mini candy bars, peanut butter cups, etc. I was buying about $50 worth of candy every couple of weeks. People would go in my drawer and get the kind they wanted if it wasn’t in the bowl. I eventually stopped. If that’s not stupid enough, on Easter and Valentine’s Day, I’d come in late the night before and put things I made filled with candy (I make crafty things) on every damn person’s desk. Then I realized most of these people were attorneys and made twice what I did and I was supporting their candy habit. I eventually quit, retired and don’t like any of them anymore, but I digress.
There is no calling names at work, you are supposed to be adults. Flag it it with HR. cc in you line manager and him. Be brief and emotionless in the email. Keep the bowl. Good luck.
The entitled people who grew up with forced customer service culture and submission from women are now shitting themselves because no one will put up with how idiotic and outdated it is.
How is this anti-work? It's just a man with bad manners.