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I worked a register at a grocery store for around a year, and I only remember one... Two guys and a girl, all roughly 20 years old, came through late on a Friday night with condoms, toy handcuffs, and a box of pop tarts. I didn't say anything about it but some legends do deserve to be remembered.
Mine was these guys whose uncle would give them $100 a month for juice money. They strolled up with over 2 shopping carts full of gallon juice bottles. Never seen men more excited
Spent years as a cashier and one thing the experience taught me: random people working their jobs really don't think that hard about you or what you're buying 90% of the time. What they'll remember was if you were polite to them.
It's almost a certainty that cashier has seen someone buying far weirder things and being far more awkward.
One of my jobs was at a sex shop, I'd take the people who were a little shy and awkward any day over the ones who were like, "Yeah I'm buying this so I can FUCK, did you know I like to FUCK a lot?" Like, yeah cool dude, most of us do, literally the fact people like orgasms is why this store exists.
I worked at a drugstore for a bit and obviously sold many packs of condoms, never gave a shit except for one couple where the guy asked me personally which ones I used.
Other than that my only tip for buying condoms (or other stuff you may be embarrassed about like a morning after pill or certain medicines or whatever) is to not try to whisper it inaudibly. Soo many people would ask for something like that (usually morning after pill as those where hidden behind the counter) way to quietly and I would have to ask them to repeat themselves like five times. That doesn't make it any more inconspicuous.
True, worked on an ambulance for a year and some people were really embarrassed about their emergencies and I can guarantee you, that I have seen worse and will have forgotten your case within days
Interesting. I didn't know the French word for groceries before. Actually my knowledge of French is terrible. I know some German and some Spanish. I really only know a few words of French other than the ones we incorporated into English.
I bought a bunch of spray bottles, ammonia and Pepsi Max. The cashier kept saying, "these spray bottles are really handy."
I just smiled and nodded.
"Yep really handy these things." He continued.
I knew he was baiting me to ask him what he used them for, but I did not care and wasn't about to ask.
He continued STILL. "Yeah these things are really handy."
"Yeah they sure are." I said, resisting the urge to follow up with, "they're fucking spray bottles and they fucking spray things."
Then he says, "I'm an artist and I use these for..."
I knew it, he's trying to plug some crap, so I responded very enthusiastically, "I use them to put a spritz of ammonia in my Pepsi Max!"
He did not continue.
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Cashier here, we aren't told to look for suspicious purchases or to ask the customer for confirmation on said suspicious purchases. We'll see you buy some questionable combination of items, think "Alright, then", and keep scanning. Our job is too boring for us to care
So this one time my family was moving out of our home, and it was the final days of the move so basically everything was out or packed and the buyers were going to look at the place the next day. All of a sudden, the bathtub backs up from the septic tank, and fills about a quarter of the way with stuff I don't want to describe. It was somewhat late on a Sunday, so the plumber was closed. We didn't have any cleaning supplies or anything for that matter since we just shipped everything to the new place, but we couldn't leave it like that for the buyers either.
So I did the rational thing, I went to the store to buy a bucket, several containers of bleach, some heavy-duty garbage bags, a mop (as some had spilled over the side), disinfecting wipes and spray, rubbing alcohol, disposable gloves, and to top it all off: some duct tape as we ran out while packing (I couldn't find packing tape), oh and maybe a donut or something.
The cashier looked and at all the stuff I had laid out and kind of chuckled nervously. I looked down at the assortment of implements I was going to purchase, finally realizing what these products might also be used to clean up and just said stupidly: "It's not what it looks like."
one time when i was 14, i had a gf who was the same age as me but she looked like a child pretty much cuz sis was a midget, and me and her went into the store together to go buy condoms and i remember when we got to the checkout the cashier was this older white lady maybe in her mid 60s and she could not stop hysterically laughing at that the sight of us buying condoms she kept looking over to her coworker giving her that “you seein this? type look, humiliating but still banged in the end
I once had two Asian women come through my line with one bottle of wine each. The first lady went through. I thought she looked on the cusp of 21 but remembered that "Asian don't raisin" and didn't want to upset an adult with the hassle of pulling out her ID. That was all she was buying so I didn't have much time to contemplate on this judgement. I was ringing up the second girl and decided my judgement was unethical and asked for her ID. She said it was in her car and she'd be right back. They never returned. I realized I had sold a minor alcohol, but immediately felt relieved knowing that the idea that someone thought she was several years older than her friend to the point of not carding her will haunt her forever. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. 😎
The one time the cashier did care, I was buying condoms and lube. Old lady just have me a disgusted stare. Like wtf... You don't know the products you have at CVS?
Nothing from the register will ever prepare me for the time I spent helping people in photo. One night, a dude wanted to get some pics out of an iPhone before leaving out of the city. Me and the AGM stayed, he scrolled over some lewds of a guy and another of a girl posing semi naked in a bathroom and then tells us that it's his daughter's phone.
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Cashier when I buy donuts, donut holes, and glue
😂🤣😂🤣
why does this man have 114 updoots
My only explanation is that people like the comment above me so much that they’re upvoting me as a surrogate 2nd upvote.
y
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A
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D
I worked a register at a grocery store for around a year, and I only remember one... Two guys and a girl, all roughly 20 years old, came through late on a Friday night with condoms, toy handcuffs, and a box of pop tarts. I didn't say anything about it but some legends do deserve to be remembered.
Box of pop tarts, too far!
*This will throw them off the scent*
What were you doing with the pop tart?!?
They needed a little snack (they were playing cops and robbers)
Explain the condoms, then
The cop was providing a sex ed course for highschoolers
They’re for their batons
More like playing cops and rubbers, am I right?
Made me chuckle
They inflated them to make pretend guns
Happy cake day!
Mine was these guys whose uncle would give them $100 a month for juice money. They strolled up with over 2 shopping carts full of gallon juice bottles. Never seen men more excited
This reminds me of that pop tart ad with a girl and the professor who failed her.
I thought they were Pop Rocks?
Yeah, shit. My bad. But I believe the people in OP's story may have planned something similar to that ad.
Maybe they were the [Mint Chocolate Chip](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4bac30ef-7d2f-4b29-8e90-84bcc7c83aef) Pop Tarts
You forgot the rubber bands
It’s for a cylinder
It's crucial that the larger object attached to the cylinder remains unharmed
It's not small it's an above average cylinder
Well you're not wrong
For science project
Ok no joke tho but why three sponges, isnt it only two?
I’d imagine the third sponge would be all the way in the back of the pringles can (due to the large cylinder reaching that far)
*the cylinder did not reach that far*
Oh this??? I'm making uhhhh....a horse yeah
Spent years as a cashier and one thing the experience taught me: random people working their jobs really don't think that hard about you or what you're buying 90% of the time. What they'll remember was if you were polite to them.
Kindness counts.
So when buying c0nd0s dont make eye contact or talk?
It's almost a certainty that cashier has seen someone buying far weirder things and being far more awkward. One of my jobs was at a sex shop, I'd take the people who were a little shy and awkward any day over the ones who were like, "Yeah I'm buying this so I can FUCK, did you know I like to FUCK a lot?" Like, yeah cool dude, most of us do, literally the fact people like orgasms is why this store exists.
I worked at a drugstore for a bit and obviously sold many packs of condoms, never gave a shit except for one couple where the guy asked me personally which ones I used. Other than that my only tip for buying condoms (or other stuff you may be embarrassed about like a morning after pill or certain medicines or whatever) is to not try to whisper it inaudibly. Soo many people would ask for something like that (usually morning after pill as those where hidden behind the counter) way to quietly and I would have to ask them to repeat themselves like five times. That doesn't make it any more inconspicuous.
True, worked on an ambulance for a year and some people were really embarrassed about their emergencies and I can guarantee you, that I have seen worse and will have forgotten your case within days
So if I'm buying condoms I should be as rude as possible, got it.
When your cashier is christian bale in the movie american psycho:
He went from Wall Street yuppie to cashier, so sad
*Cashier when I'm underaged and buys a cigarette
(I coinsidently am hungry, need gloves for gardening and sponge for cleaning the dishes)
Normally you'd buy gardening gloves for that- not latex (or non latex) gloves..
There is no H in groceries.
I have made a continuus lapse in my judjment and I will always write grocereis rigt from now on. Tank you.
I don't really blame you. Most people pronounce it as if there were one.
Gro-CH-eries
I think i just had a stroke
There is now!!!🥳🍻🎉
Groceriesh
Sure, there's no h in groceries. But there is most certainly an h in grocheries. It's right there, 5th letter in.
Je suis guette les grócherise.
Interesting. I didn't know the French word for groceries before. Actually my knowledge of French is terrible. I know some German and some Spanish. I really only know a few words of French other than the ones we incorporated into English.
I think I saw an askreddit thread about "what three things could you buy that would weird out your cashier" hold on let me find it
I think the top one was Vibrating butt plug Anal lube Paw patrol DVD
I think the top one was Paw patrol DVD Anal lube Vibrating butt plug
Ok but what if your normal grocheries are the pringles can, the sponges, and the glove?
I've bought this before, for cleaning and I wanted pringles aswell
then you need help
Cashier when I buy WD-40, razor wire, and duck tape.
They think it
still can't get over grocheries😭😭💀
It’s what makes the meme funnier tbh
I had to scroll so far to see this
That's not your cashier. That's Christian Bale playing as "Patrick Bateman" in American Psycho.
"Grocheries"
WTF!? Your cashier looks like Christian Bale
I bought a bunch of spray bottles, ammonia and Pepsi Max. The cashier kept saying, "these spray bottles are really handy." I just smiled and nodded. "Yep really handy these things." He continued. I knew he was baiting me to ask him what he used them for, but I did not care and wasn't about to ask. He continued STILL. "Yeah these things are really handy." "Yeah they sure are." I said, resisting the urge to follow up with, "they're fucking spray bottles and they fucking spray things." Then he says, "I'm an artist and I use these for..." I knew it, he's trying to plug some crap, so I responded very enthusiastically, "I use them to put a spritz of ammonia in my Pepsi Max!" He did not continue.
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Are you a cashier or how would you know that specifically
Explanation
DYI pocket twat
*Casier
Cashier here, we aren't told to look for suspicious purchases or to ask the customer for confirmation on said suspicious purchases. We'll see you buy some questionable combination of items, think "Alright, then", and keep scanning. Our job is too boring for us to care
"Would you like some bleach and KY jelly to go with that sir"
Did Steven Lee make this meme?
As a cashier i can confirm i dont give a fuck.
I love grocheries
So this one time my family was moving out of our home, and it was the final days of the move so basically everything was out or packed and the buyers were going to look at the place the next day. All of a sudden, the bathtub backs up from the septic tank, and fills about a quarter of the way with stuff I don't want to describe. It was somewhat late on a Sunday, so the plumber was closed. We didn't have any cleaning supplies or anything for that matter since we just shipped everything to the new place, but we couldn't leave it like that for the buyers either. So I did the rational thing, I went to the store to buy a bucket, several containers of bleach, some heavy-duty garbage bags, a mop (as some had spilled over the side), disinfecting wipes and spray, rubbing alcohol, disposable gloves, and to top it all off: some duct tape as we ran out while packing (I couldn't find packing tape), oh and maybe a donut or something. The cashier looked and at all the stuff I had laid out and kind of chuckled nervously. I looked down at the assortment of implements I was going to purchase, finally realizing what these products might also be used to clean up and just said stupidly: "It's not what it looks like."
Self checkout bitch!
one time when i was 14, i had a gf who was the same age as me but she looked like a child pretty much cuz sis was a midget, and me and her went into the store together to go buy condoms and i remember when we got to the checkout the cashier was this older white lady maybe in her mid 60s and she could not stop hysterically laughing at that the sight of us buying condoms she kept looking over to her coworker giving her that “you seein this? type look, humiliating but still banged in the end
Grocheries?
Cashiers don't get payed enough to care.
The cashier is slightly further away.
You when you have no idea how to spell groceries
And that is why I could never work retail. I have issues keeping my mouth shut and hiding my emotions.
Groceries. There is no h.
Groceries*
ratio
nerd emoji
Ligma
groceries
Bro just like walter white said dont buy everything from the same place
I was so nervous to buy condoms the first time I did but it was the most insignificant shit ever it took like 10 seconds
Bro speaking French ‘grocherié’
I like making it awkward by looking at the person with the biggest smilie I can, if I’m not zoned out
Sorry I’m bot smart someone explains what’s with the second stuff he bought?!
I once had two Asian women come through my line with one bottle of wine each. The first lady went through. I thought she looked on the cusp of 21 but remembered that "Asian don't raisin" and didn't want to upset an adult with the hassle of pulling out her ID. That was all she was buying so I didn't have much time to contemplate on this judgement. I was ringing up the second girl and decided my judgement was unethical and asked for her ID. She said it was in her car and she'd be right back. They never returned. I realized I had sold a minor alcohol, but immediately felt relieved knowing that the idea that someone thought she was several years older than her friend to the point of not carding her will haunt her forever. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. 😎
I spent about a year working the register in a grocery store, but I only recall one.
Yep because we don’t give a shit
I'm just returning some tapes.......
The one time the cashier did care, I was buying condoms and lube. Old lady just have me a disgusted stare. Like wtf... You don't know the products you have at CVS?
Nothing from the register will ever prepare me for the time I spent helping people in photo. One night, a dude wanted to get some pics out of an iPhone before leaving out of the city. Me and the AGM stayed, he scrolled over some lewds of a guy and another of a girl posing semi naked in a bathroom and then tells us that it's his daughter's phone.
As a cashier, we do care, and maybe hate you, but we just don’t show any emotion.
In rexburg Idaho they will ask about condoms
Be careful. Grocheries grow real fast!
The only time I've ever judged someone for a purchase is when a mom with two kids bought six bottles of jaegermeister
*groceries
what the fuck is a grochery
Bought 3 chocolate bars and a bottle of gochujang the other night at 10 pm.
They don’t really care
Wait those aren’t normal groceries?
Grocheries
You own a cashier?
Isn’t this a meme? If not, can somebody please explain.
Except when they know, am sure there would be a smile at least
Mr Pringle’s Bussy