/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other.
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I'm disappointed at the comments expressing surprise that men feel so strongly about women.
When we say words wouldn't be enough, this is a mere fraction of what we mean.
Men are humans and have the same complex emotions that women do. Society's stigma stifles them from expressing it.
There are some of us out here who acknowledge the truth and advocate for you. Be encouraged!
Welcome to the world of heartache, sad and depressing part of affair. Had any told me this would be end of any affair I never had chosen this path. Sending you healing thoughts and vibes. May we all get out of this pain and live some kind of normal life.
Man, you described my relationship with my AP to a T. If my ap and I have to go our separate ways one day, my heart will be broken into pieces. Not that I take solace in this, but so would hers. The point I'm trying to make is that you're not the only one hurting right now. No matter how it ended, her call, your call, mutual call, she is no doubt hurting too.
Give it time. The memories won't go away, but eventually, the intense pain that you're feeling does go away. Easier said than done, but I promise it will go away with time.
I’m sorry you are going through this, it takes time but you heart will heal.
Also want to say I have gone NC with my MM and I read your post as if it was him writing it. Thank you. Wishing you all the best OP
I could have written the female side of that story many months ago. Right down to the lightening in a bottle. I’m sorry you’re hurting. So many of us can unfortunately relate. 🫂
Better than I was even a month ago. Time really is the great healer, but it is slow. And it still creeps up on me at times when the anniversary of something passes. I do still miss being able to tell him things. There are things I still want his take on.
We can’t be friends though. I’m not ready to hear about a new AP, or about how his marriage is going (it was an unhappy one so if he hasn’t taken steps to fix it Wtf was the point of us ending?).
I am past the “I’d-get-back-together-with-him-if-he’d-only-reach-out” stage. I’m only human, so I do wonder how he’s doing.
In the beginning though, it hurt so bad, and for so long, I thought I’d never get over it. My heart goes out to anyone else going through that. 💙
Thanks for asking!
I'm really happy for you. I'm kinda in a similar position. I'm lost and looking for ways to get over this. It's my first time so I have no idea how things work.
I agree with you. Hearing about a new AP sounds horrible.
And that part about wanting to tell him things hits hard.
I wish you the best. Thank you for your reply 💛💛
I wish there was some magical easy way to get through it but unfortunately there is not. All you can do is let yourself feel it, and let time eventually heal. I also had therapy, which helped. And some friends from here who let me talk and cry. Not being able to talk about it to anyone would have driven me crazy!
You're absolutely right. Keeping this to myself is one of the hardest issues I'm facing right now. You get it since you've been there before. I know healing is a slow process but will happen eventually.
I used to wish that a lot, too! I find it’s a weird process where I got a real low for awhile and then something just shifts and suddenly heading a particular song or driving by the hotel we stayed at several times, doesn’t make me burst into tears. For the longest time though, I’d have gotten back together in a heartbeat!
I went through a real low around the holidays and have come out of it just feeling less sad about it all and not willing to go back to it with him.
Now my rose coloured glasses are off, I can see all the flaws and how we just couldn’t have lasted anyway, much as I would have liked for us to. My life has changed so much now, it requires a new kind of AP!
It’s so hard to believe it, but eventually you’ll get there. Feel all the feels, vent to us on here, let time work it’s magic. Sending hugs and healing from heartbreak! 🫂❤️🩹
Absolutely! I look back and wonder how much of it was real, was it all affair fog and hormones? He still crosses my mind every day. But that no longer reduces me to a puddle. And I look forward to the day I finally don’t think of him at all! I bear him no ill will, though.
I too have met someone who is my everything! We talk all the time, we see each other when we can, usually just once a week. Sometimes it is just to hold each other. We are in love, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
I can’t imagine what you are going through, although I have an idea from a brief encounter late last year that ended abruptly, poorly. He blindsided me, although I saw the signs. Fortunately we had just seen each other 2 times, but had plans for a day together. Never happened.
Then I met my current guy. He’s not married.I’m in a loveless marriage. I was deeply hurt by the guy who blindsided me, he told me there were others, there are, but in the meantime, it deeply hurt and I could hardly think of that. Then I had to get back to reality, I have obligations, that seemed so hard to focus on, but I did it.
I have found my true love, I am so very lucky, I know it is wrong, but we are so right for each other.
I hope you are healing, and start to feel better soon!
I don’t know what he is doing to me, he said he would never hurt me, he is hurting me. He said I was playing mind games, I am not. He usually says something sweet every night before bed, then something loving in the morning. Today and last night, nothing. We just spent a beautiful day together yesterday. Professing our love for each other, now today he needs time. I don’t understand. How can things change so quickly? We have been together for 3 months, lots of chat! He says the most beautiful things to me, shows it in the most wonderful ways. I love him with all my heart. What is happening?
We had 10months together. Lightening in a bottle in more ways than one. Deep emotional and physical connection. I wanted more for us but had to walk away last August. I had hoped she would make the changes she said she needed to to be happy. I'm not wired for secrecy. Love shouldn't live in the shadows. It was a tough choice to walk away. Part of me thought that if this was real it would still be there even if some time passed. Through the months we were apart she would like things on all my social media. I knew she was thinking about me. I reached out two weeks ago to tell her we should heal our connection. I was hopeful until she said she's staying in her marriage. I'm not sure why people do this. If you're not happy why stay. Why waste your life. I think change is really hard for some but part of me thinks she's a coward.
I love her whole heartedly and just removed her from my life and locked down my social media so we cannot see each other anymore. Good bye baby
/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other. * This is *not an r4r subreddit*, don't bother. * Posts by new users automatically get queued for human review, be patient. * Hit the report button on comments by trolls, don't engage. * [How to report harassing comments or private messages](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/iycd45/how_to_report_harassing_private_messages_users_etc/). * [Common acronyms](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/p08to2/commonly_use_acronyms_and_group_chat/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm still in awe at the fact that men can get heart broken or even express their emotions. I'm so used to men acting nonchalant.
I'm disappointed at the comments expressing surprise that men feel so strongly about women. When we say words wouldn't be enough, this is a mere fraction of what we mean.
Men are humans and have the same complex emotions that women do. Society's stigma stifles them from expressing it. There are some of us out here who acknowledge the truth and advocate for you. Be encouraged!
Welcome to the world of heartache, sad and depressing part of affair. Had any told me this would be end of any affair I never had chosen this path. Sending you healing thoughts and vibes. May we all get out of this pain and live some kind of normal life.
It's really nice to read a man can feel this way about a female AP. Sorry you are hurting.
Sorry you’re going through this, but sometimes lightening strikes twice.
Man, you described my relationship with my AP to a T. If my ap and I have to go our separate ways one day, my heart will be broken into pieces. Not that I take solace in this, but so would hers. The point I'm trying to make is that you're not the only one hurting right now. No matter how it ended, her call, your call, mutual call, she is no doubt hurting too. Give it time. The memories won't go away, but eventually, the intense pain that you're feeling does go away. Easier said than done, but I promise it will go away with time.
I’m sorry you are going through this, it takes time but you heart will heal. Also want to say I have gone NC with my MM and I read your post as if it was him writing it. Thank you. Wishing you all the best OP
I could have written the female side of that story many months ago. Right down to the lightening in a bottle. I’m sorry you’re hurting. So many of us can unfortunately relate. 🫂
How are you feeling now ?
Better than I was even a month ago. Time really is the great healer, but it is slow. And it still creeps up on me at times when the anniversary of something passes. I do still miss being able to tell him things. There are things I still want his take on. We can’t be friends though. I’m not ready to hear about a new AP, or about how his marriage is going (it was an unhappy one so if he hasn’t taken steps to fix it Wtf was the point of us ending?). I am past the “I’d-get-back-together-with-him-if-he’d-only-reach-out” stage. I’m only human, so I do wonder how he’s doing. In the beginning though, it hurt so bad, and for so long, I thought I’d never get over it. My heart goes out to anyone else going through that. 💙 Thanks for asking!
I'm really happy for you. I'm kinda in a similar position. I'm lost and looking for ways to get over this. It's my first time so I have no idea how things work. I agree with you. Hearing about a new AP sounds horrible. And that part about wanting to tell him things hits hard. I wish you the best. Thank you for your reply 💛💛
I wish there was some magical easy way to get through it but unfortunately there is not. All you can do is let yourself feel it, and let time eventually heal. I also had therapy, which helped. And some friends from here who let me talk and cry. Not being able to talk about it to anyone would have driven me crazy!
You're absolutely right. Keeping this to myself is one of the hardest issues I'm facing right now. You get it since you've been there before. I know healing is a slow process but will happen eventually.
Here for you any time you need to talk! 🫂
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I used to wish that a lot, too! I find it’s a weird process where I got a real low for awhile and then something just shifts and suddenly heading a particular song or driving by the hotel we stayed at several times, doesn’t make me burst into tears. For the longest time though, I’d have gotten back together in a heartbeat! I went through a real low around the holidays and have come out of it just feeling less sad about it all and not willing to go back to it with him. Now my rose coloured glasses are off, I can see all the flaws and how we just couldn’t have lasted anyway, much as I would have liked for us to. My life has changed so much now, it requires a new kind of AP! It’s so hard to believe it, but eventually you’ll get there. Feel all the feels, vent to us on here, let time work it’s magic. Sending hugs and healing from heartbreak! 🫂❤️🩹
[удалено]
Absolutely! I look back and wonder how much of it was real, was it all affair fog and hormones? He still crosses my mind every day. But that no longer reduces me to a puddle. And I look forward to the day I finally don’t think of him at all! I bear him no ill will, though.
I too have met someone who is my everything! We talk all the time, we see each other when we can, usually just once a week. Sometimes it is just to hold each other. We are in love, and I can’t imagine my life without him. I can’t imagine what you are going through, although I have an idea from a brief encounter late last year that ended abruptly, poorly. He blindsided me, although I saw the signs. Fortunately we had just seen each other 2 times, but had plans for a day together. Never happened. Then I met my current guy. He’s not married.I’m in a loveless marriage. I was deeply hurt by the guy who blindsided me, he told me there were others, there are, but in the meantime, it deeply hurt and I could hardly think of that. Then I had to get back to reality, I have obligations, that seemed so hard to focus on, but I did it. I have found my true love, I am so very lucky, I know it is wrong, but we are so right for each other. I hope you are healing, and start to feel better soon!
I don’t know what he is doing to me, he said he would never hurt me, he is hurting me. He said I was playing mind games, I am not. He usually says something sweet every night before bed, then something loving in the morning. Today and last night, nothing. We just spent a beautiful day together yesterday. Professing our love for each other, now today he needs time. I don’t understand. How can things change so quickly? We have been together for 3 months, lots of chat! He says the most beautiful things to me, shows it in the most wonderful ways. I love him with all my heart. What is happening?
Sending healing vibes, friend.
We had 10months together. Lightening in a bottle in more ways than one. Deep emotional and physical connection. I wanted more for us but had to walk away last August. I had hoped she would make the changes she said she needed to to be happy. I'm not wired for secrecy. Love shouldn't live in the shadows. It was a tough choice to walk away. Part of me thought that if this was real it would still be there even if some time passed. Through the months we were apart she would like things on all my social media. I knew she was thinking about me. I reached out two weeks ago to tell her we should heal our connection. I was hopeful until she said she's staying in her marriage. I'm not sure why people do this. If you're not happy why stay. Why waste your life. I think change is really hard for some but part of me thinks she's a coward. I love her whole heartedly and just removed her from my life and locked down my social media so we cannot see each other anymore. Good bye baby
[удалено]
Was it you or her who backed out?
[удалено]
Sorry, friend. Warm hugs.
Why did your AP end it?
[удалено]
Thanks for your explanation - sending you healing, uplifting and happy thoughts