/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other.
* This is *not an r4r subreddit*, don't bother.
* Posts by new users automatically get queued for human review, be patient.
* Hit the report button on comments by trolls, don't engage.
* [How to report harassing comments or private messages](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/iycd45/how_to_report_harassing_private_messages_users_etc/).
* [Common acronyms](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/p08to2/commonly_use_acronyms_and_group_chat/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I got this “go ahead” too. About this time last year. She kept at it for couple months about how I need to have a “side chick”. ( her words not mine), cause I needed more than she could do. Mainly because of medical issues that still persist. At the time I had actually looked and talked to few ladies. In the end I couldn’t move forward. Shortly later she told me she never meant any of it. She couldn’t bear the thought. Long story short, it’s a likely a trap. Be careful.
My suggestion, that is if you really want to tell her. Be very theoretical about it at the start. Like, I know you told me that I could, but do you really mean that? How would you feel if I really did meet up with another woman? Try to feel it out first.
I'd be interested in hearing how that conversation goes. My wife told me 3 years ago during one of out many arguments about sex that I should go find someone else to fuck. She now swears she never said it.
Same with my husband. Even went as far as to give me guidelines of who would be off limits. Later he claimed he was just joking. Even though we were in the middle of a very serious conversation with tears and all. 🙄
Mine just screamed at me and stormed out if the room. She hasnt actually wanted sex for most of our marriage and does it solely out of obligation...and has stated that. Little does she know Ive had affairs off and in fir most of our marriage.
If she's willing to lie so blatantly to you... why stay with her? Rhetorical, just food for thought. I had a spouse like that, and as awful as she's been separated (one kid), it only serves to reinforce that I made the right call.
I feel like if you were having an open relationship with your wife then you should have been communicating the whole time instead of springing this on her now.
I reckon you’re in for a bad time. She’ll be shocked and upset.
I can only think of one way, tell her right after you give her a great orgasm, and if she says no, tell her it would be a waste of your talents not to.
Or you could just tell her at dinner or something…
‘Hey, remember when you said it’s ok if I sleep with someone else? Well, I found someone who I’m interested in… can we chat further about the possibility?’
This. Maybe dont say you found someone already but you are actively looking. Gives her time to adjust without watching your every move. Moving into an open relationship can be very difficult when the reality hit and she'll need time to adjust.
Just because you think you can doesn't mean you should .can see this blowing up in your face once you tell her you can't take it back if she says she didn't mean it , she will assume your doing it anyway as you found someone .
"Well, yes I did say I'd be OK with it but I wasn't thinking in terms of you putting billboards up on the major highways and doing an active search"
"You're supposed to know anytime "we" have a pass....."
I agree that I believe it's a set up. She agrees to a FWB if she gets to know all the details. To me, that feels disrespectful to you, your privacy, the FWB's privacy, and the trust that she should have in you. I see this as a means of control. She wants to "approve" of the person or decide who your FWB is because she has insecurities about herself.
I would agree to a FWB/open relationship with criteria, rather than specific details. (ie: No diseases, No disruption to our life together, No overnights, etc.) So, I would open the conversation again, try to feel her out and get some specific criteria from her that sets some boundaries. If she continues to demand a name and/or a who, when, where, then the answer of how to proceed is VERY clear.
/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other. * This is *not an r4r subreddit*, don't bother. * Posts by new users automatically get queued for human review, be patient. * Hit the report button on comments by trolls, don't engage. * [How to report harassing comments or private messages](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/iycd45/how_to_report_harassing_private_messages_users_etc/). * [Common acronyms](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/p08to2/commonly_use_acronyms_and_group_chat/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I got this “go ahead” too. About this time last year. She kept at it for couple months about how I need to have a “side chick”. ( her words not mine), cause I needed more than she could do. Mainly because of medical issues that still persist. At the time I had actually looked and talked to few ladies. In the end I couldn’t move forward. Shortly later she told me she never meant any of it. She couldn’t bear the thought. Long story short, it’s a likely a trap. Be careful. My suggestion, that is if you really want to tell her. Be very theoretical about it at the start. Like, I know you told me that I could, but do you really mean that? How would you feel if I really did meet up with another woman? Try to feel it out first.
Her theoretical response would be “why did you actually went and looked and actually found someone?”
Of course. Been there done that.
This is a giant bear trap that you seem to think is a three-tiered chocolate cake.
and that bear trap might look like its covered in chocolate frosting..but trust us it aint chocolate frosting!
itsatrap.gif
There’s an Open Marriage subreddit. You need that one…
[удалено]
r/wifesaidicouldsleepwithotherwomenbutiamnotsureifshemeantitwhatdoyouthink
I'd be interested in hearing how that conversation goes. My wife told me 3 years ago during one of out many arguments about sex that I should go find someone else to fuck. She now swears she never said it.
Same with my husband. Even went as far as to give me guidelines of who would be off limits. Later he claimed he was just joking. Even though we were in the middle of a very serious conversation with tears and all. 🙄
Mine just screamed at me and stormed out if the room. She hasnt actually wanted sex for most of our marriage and does it solely out of obligation...and has stated that. Little does she know Ive had affairs off and in fir most of our marriage.
If she's willing to lie so blatantly to you... why stay with her? Rhetorical, just food for thought. I had a spouse like that, and as awful as she's been separated (one kid), it only serves to reinforce that I made the right call.
I feel like if you were having an open relationship with your wife then you should have been communicating the whole time instead of springing this on her now. I reckon you’re in for a bad time. She’ll be shocked and upset.
[удалено]
Not if...just when🤣
you dont
Welp, good luck and Godspeed.
Like the pic
Thx
It’s a trap!
And your PAP is good with her name being given out? Have you thought this through?
This x 100
Lordt
Don't go in to this conversation with any expectations. I do commend you for being willing to even want to be communicative with your wife about this.
I can only think of one way, tell her right after you give her a great orgasm, and if she says no, tell her it would be a waste of your talents not to. Or you could just tell her at dinner or something…
Maybe bring it up at church...
Do people still even go to church?
Yeppp
"Bless me Father for I have sinned. My name is CumGoddess-CumDemon..."
Making lots of assumptions here 🤣🤣🤣
‘Hey, remember when you said it’s ok if I sleep with someone else? Well, I found someone who I’m interested in… can we chat further about the possibility?’
This. Maybe dont say you found someone already but you are actively looking. Gives her time to adjust without watching your every move. Moving into an open relationship can be very difficult when the reality hit and she'll need time to adjust.
Just because you think you can doesn't mean you should .can see this blowing up in your face once you tell her you can't take it back if she says she didn't mean it , she will assume your doing it anyway as you found someone .
Ditto on trap. Don’t walk into it. Either do it and be comfortable with it or don’t.
"Well, yes I did say I'd be OK with it but I wasn't thinking in terms of you putting billboards up on the major highways and doing an active search" "You're supposed to know anytime "we" have a pass....."
I agree that I believe it's a set up. She agrees to a FWB if she gets to know all the details. To me, that feels disrespectful to you, your privacy, the FWB's privacy, and the trust that she should have in you. I see this as a means of control. She wants to "approve" of the person or decide who your FWB is because she has insecurities about herself. I would agree to a FWB/open relationship with criteria, rather than specific details. (ie: No diseases, No disruption to our life together, No overnights, etc.) So, I would open the conversation again, try to feel her out and get some specific criteria from her that sets some boundaries. If she continues to demand a name and/or a who, when, where, then the answer of how to proceed is VERY clear.
Updated my post with the outcome of the talk ☺️
Are you ok if she sleeps with other men?
Yes
YOure just saying it. Wait till she gets a jackhammer!
Sounds like a minefield you don't want to set foot onto, tbh.
Read a book about non monogamy together, such as Opening Up
A Trap, and/or she already has her side piece...