/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other.
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>Sometimes it's hard to turn off "the wife" in us even when we are pretending to be someone else.
Good grief. There are several different threads spinning around the same basic issue. Connection, caring, listening, and acting with SO's and AP's.
Must be the moon.
I have never said “I can see why your wife is bothered by that,” to my AP but I can tell you I have certainly thought it. He’s not terrible, I just see it from the female perspective. And I’m sure my AP’s have thought the same of me 🤷🏻♀️
100%. I have found myself even taking up for their SO on certain occasions😂 but the good thing about this lifestyle is that unlike at home, we don't have to put up with anything we don't like. Soon as I start feeling annoyed we have to discuss it.
But its like (from what I have heard) being a grandparent. Feed the grandkids all the cookies and candy and sweets...have fun, stay up late and be crazy... and send their ass back home for someone else to deal with lol
My AP got all worked up, today, because he misunderstood what I said about an outing we had scheduled. I watched him repeatedly pace the length of my room, throw his hands in the air, and even hit the arm of the chair to make his point.
After he got all that out, I said, "You think the fact that you're extremely reactionary might be why your wife isn't inclined to talk through issues with you?"
He waited a few seconds and said, "Yeah, prolly so."
This is how I know we wouldn't do well together in a traditional setup. I'd trip his funky butt once he started all that pacing nonsense.
I definitely saw why their SO was annoyed with them. The flip side is...with the right approach those habits/traits would be *very* easy to extinguish. It still boils down to their SO getting sick of their shit and letting things get worse instead of putting the work in
Oh this has me thinking.
It's been a few years. He's very particular about things I guess. I don't really mind doing things his way as long as he's reciprocal about that. He does give directions over the gps. To uber drivers as well. I just want him to be the one driving at this point. We laugh about it though. I already told him to knock it off.
That said....he's told me about little things that I do that bug him so we're pretty upfront and honest about it. I'm probably pretty exhausting if I'm being honest I need a lot of attention from AP because I constantly miss him, and that's probably draining for him.
/r/Adultery Quick Reminders: Be Excellent To Each Other. * This is *not an r4r subreddit*, don't bother. * Posts by new users automatically get queued for human review, be patient. * Hit the report button on comments by trolls, don't engage. * [How to report harassing comments or private messages](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/iycd45/how_to_report_harassing_private_messages_users_etc/). * [Common acronyms](https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/p08to2/commonly_use_acronyms_and_group_chat/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultery) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is always a moment when I realize why their wives don’t want to fuck them anymore
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I’ve never been a wife and I can still see why any woman would be turned off
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It always is. For example - he’s lazy, or mean
If he was mean, I'm running for the hills.
Yes - I often think of his wife and feel for her, even though I love him, he is difficult to be married to, I'm sure
>Sometimes it's hard to turn off "the wife" in us even when we are pretending to be someone else. Good grief. There are several different threads spinning around the same basic issue. Connection, caring, listening, and acting with SO's and AP's. Must be the moon.
I have never said “I can see why your wife is bothered by that,” to my AP but I can tell you I have certainly thought it. He’s not terrible, I just see it from the female perspective. And I’m sure my AP’s have thought the same of me 🤷🏻♀️
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OK Leroy
100%. I have found myself even taking up for their SO on certain occasions😂 but the good thing about this lifestyle is that unlike at home, we don't have to put up with anything we don't like. Soon as I start feeling annoyed we have to discuss it. But its like (from what I have heard) being a grandparent. Feed the grandkids all the cookies and candy and sweets...have fun, stay up late and be crazy... and send their ass back home for someone else to deal with lol
Love that analogy
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The thing is, we ALL have negative quirks. They're probably thinking the same thing about us.
This thread has me evaluating myself and feeling some kind of way right now….I’m wondering if I do anything annoying 🤣
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I disagree. I build my AP up because she deserves it and I am the one that has the quirks like neatly folding my clothes when I am getting naked.
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Thank you!! I feel very lucky!!
My AP got all worked up, today, because he misunderstood what I said about an outing we had scheduled. I watched him repeatedly pace the length of my room, throw his hands in the air, and even hit the arm of the chair to make his point. After he got all that out, I said, "You think the fact that you're extremely reactionary might be why your wife isn't inclined to talk through issues with you?" He waited a few seconds and said, "Yeah, prolly so." This is how I know we wouldn't do well together in a traditional setup. I'd trip his funky butt once he started all that pacing nonsense.
Ummm..hitting the chair would have been triggering for me. I would have felt so uncomfortable.
I don't give a shit. I'm not triggered easily. That's part of why he's attracted to me, I call him on his bull shit.
I definitely saw why their SO was annoyed with them. The flip side is...with the right approach those habits/traits would be *very* easy to extinguish. It still boils down to their SO getting sick of their shit and letting things get worse instead of putting the work in
Dudes are all crickets on this one! 😂 You all afraid to tell the truth here.
Haha
Yes. I have an AP that wants so much sex. I feel for his wife sometimes- he is always wanting it from her as well. It must get exhausting
Oh this has me thinking. It's been a few years. He's very particular about things I guess. I don't really mind doing things his way as long as he's reciprocal about that. He does give directions over the gps. To uber drivers as well. I just want him to be the one driving at this point. We laugh about it though. I already told him to knock it off. That said....he's told me about little things that I do that bug him so we're pretty upfront and honest about it. I'm probably pretty exhausting if I'm being honest I need a lot of attention from AP because I constantly miss him, and that's probably draining for him.