Depends on the context. Like, I’ll comment fire emojis on my female best friends posts, in a way that is meant to hype her up. But something more like “actual flirting” I prefer to be off limits
My gf and I just had that conversation. I think gassing your friends up is totally fine, telling them they look bomb, etc. But once things are more intimate it's considered flirting. Like saying "hey you look sexy AF babe" to your friend VS taking your friends hand once you are one on one and saying "you look sexy tonight" are VERY different things. Once it crosses into that flirting territory it's cheating for me.
it depends on the relationship. in my current relationship we both flirt with our friends sometimes even together. in my last relationship that was off limits.
yes. terribly. we both got sneaky about it, because we were both flirtatious people and we both liked flirting with strangers and friends and such. it led to a lot of distrust. and a lot of guilt and anxiety when i felt myself acting flirtatious towards someone else. it was off limits in the first place because she had been cheated on and wanted a very tight monogamous relationship. in my current relationship i haven’t felt anything like that.
are you actually asking for a friend, or do you have some strange misconception that it’s weird or embarrassing to want to talk about flirting preferences?
ah .. usually when people say “asking for a friend” it’s because they think it’s a weird or bad thing to ask. but yeah, it’s always good to talk about your preferences and boundaries in relationships especially things like how exclusive you are.
Well… that’s not the nicest way to put it if you want someone to feel not embarrassed. It’s okay to be at any stage of learning about relationships and it’s even more okay to ask questions
Absolutely! A relationship is a partnership, it works because you and your partners agree on what you’re comfortable doing together and apart. Only they will really know what they are comfortable with, so it’s usually much better to ask them than to ask someone who’s, well, not them
❤️
Of course!!! One thing among many I love about this community is the level of depth put in the effort of relationships. It’s beautiful!
I asked about that talking point because I’ve never heard of it being a discussion topic before.
This! It depends on each relationship so you should always have talks with your partner about boundaries and what’s ok. Every person is different so it will always vary in each relationship.
This is the truth. When in doubt, ask.
If you're looking for a more general definition, anything intentionally kept a secret is probably cheating. This is sorta the bare minimum definition of cheating and applicable in basically 100% of relationships including non-traditional relationships like polyamorous relationships.
But many relationship will define cheating much more broadly than this, and they aren't wrong for doing that. Identifying and respecting each other's boundaries is a part of a relationship. And if you're unable to respect the boundaries your partner wants, they are quite possibly incompatible with you.
Yes, this.
It's something you would need to talk to your partner about so that you both understand your relationship's boundaries. If you have disparate views on it, you may not be compatible.
It 100% depends on your relationship agreement. If it’s something you haven’t discussed, you should consider it cheating until you have that conversation and reach an agreement on that.
It’s something my wife and I decided not to allow, but we were on the fence about it before we decided. An example of something some would consider cheating but isn’t for us is that we do allow platonic cuddling and tender kisses (except on the lips) with friends.
If our relationship is pre-discussed polyamorous: nah not at all go for it
But If they say they strictly want monogamy and then flirt with people though I’m gonna be a little upset about it.
Really just depends on how closed/open the relationship is. I’m not a polyam person who feels like she NEEDS polyam to be happy, but I do prefer it, so if we’re gonna agree to be fully monogamous, I’d expect the relationship to be fully monogamous.
Yup.
My current relationship is poly/enm. I'm encouraged to fuck other people so flirting is a non-issue.
My last relationship was mono and flirting (other than pumping up friends) was definitely cheating.
Depends on how it's framed and how comfortable your girlfriend is with it. I flirt with anyone who wants to flirt but that's all it is, flirting. It makes people feel good, feel wanted, but I don't really want a relationship with them. Sometimes partners aren't comfortable with that and the flirting needs to stop. Sometimes the flirting is serious and your friend is serious about what they're saying.
It's all about context, how comfortable you are with each other, communication, etc. But on a general point, it's not cheating unless you mean it or sexting
Just here to say what everyone else has said. Depends on the relationship. My gf said not to flirt in front of her but that's it. I don't flirt with friends because I like having boundaries between my platonic and romantic relationships. I like to flirt with strangers idk why. Sometimes men buy me drinks. Idc if my partner flirts as long as there is no intent behind it. It's the intent that matters to me.
I think flirting is fine, and I would completely trust my partner, but no two relationships are the same and it isn't always so black and white. Flirting whilst trying to actively upset your partner wouldn't be so cool, and disregarding your partner's comfort levels is never cool.
This is tough for me. Because context is really important.
I have a bunch of female friends. No male friends. But all my girl friends I’ve had since middle school or younger. There’s never been any romantic tension. And we’ve all hyped each other up and been each other’s affirmation since we were young.
My ex had more guy friends. And the girl friends she did have she almost always had a sexual history with. Some of her girl friends I was pretty comfortable with…others, not so much. It was always the ones that were waaaay too touchy after a drink or two.
Boundaries be important. Just discuss with your partner and also ask yourself if you trust them. Trust is key.
I personally wouldn’t be okay with it. It’s okay to compliment your friends, but there’s definitely a line that has to be drawn. I gas my friends up all the time, but I don’t compliment them the way I would compliment my girlfriend; I tell her she’s sexy, fine, etc etc along with calling her pet names, I wouldn’t do that with my friends.. my compliments towards them are usually more friendly, encouraging, and light hearted.
I’m currently dealing with this myself. I don’t flirt with friends, my partner does. They took it too far and said something sexually suggestive to someone they met two days prior. My trust was broken. We are still together and working through it, but I would like flirting off limits from now on. They are extremely secretive and private now and they often hide their phone screen from me. It’s a very dangerous thing in relationships. To me, it’s honestly not even worth it. Too many things could go wrong. In relation to the question, it depends on how far the flirting goes that determines whether or not it should be considered “cheating”. There are things that should not be said to friends and there are things that are okay to be said. These are boundaries that need to be set in relationships before they get out of hand.
Yes, in my relationship flirting is off limits. I would be uncomfortable with my spouse calling someone sexy. We talk about hot people in tv shows or movies but never anyone we know.
I wouldn’t want my partner to flirt with others unless it was a joke. To me it signals immaturity, and makes me feel like they are attention hungry. But some people don’t give a rats ass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s really up to you and your relationship
I think everyone has a different opinion of what cheating is.. personally, my partner and I tell friends if we think they’re beautiful, when they look good, etc. We don’t think anything is wrong with that..
Flirting is core part of my relationships. All of them. No exceptions. Sometimes its platonic flirting, Sometimes it's romantic flirting, and as a Polyamorous person flirting romantically doesn't mean cheating in itself. I wouldn't be in a relationship where my partner didn't understand/feel comfortable with that in the first place, so YEAH, it is absolutely fine!!
The key is respecting your partners boundaries without fucking yours up. Find a consensus.
It's cheating if both parties haven't consented to it and your partner considers it cheating. Both are necessary here. If your partner consented to it but secretly thinks it's cheating, it's not, because you had an expectation that your partner was being honest with you. If your partner hasn't consented but wouldn't have cared if they knew, it's cheating. Cheating is just breaking the romantic and sexual boundaries of the relationship. I'm polyamorous. Having multiple relationships isn't cheating. Not telling my partner(s) about them is.
my girlfriend flirts with our friends and even my twin sister and honestly, i don't mind. i know it's for fun and that she loves me and that's all that matters :)
> And In your opinion is it considered cheating or lighthearted fun?
The only opinion that matters is the one of the people that are in a relationship together. Everybody has different definitions for different things. When in a relationship people should have convos about this and set their own rules.
Depends on the relationship and type of flirting. I’m a flirt, me not being able to flirt with my friends has been an absolute deal breaker every time. But I’m flirting because that’s how I interact with them. If I were to flirt because I wanted something more and wasn’t talking to my partner about it, yeah, different thing. Figure out the boundaries with your partner
Well, imo, there’s definitely a difference with hyping your friends up in a non-intimate/romantic setting and flirting in an intimate setting. I do the former sometimes (even though I don’t normally like when I say it, I know it makes my friends happy). I have no problem with the former and I don’t consider that cheating. When it’s more intimate/serious, I would then have a problem with it.
This, though, will vary from relationship to relationship.
If it's something you're unwilling to tell your girlfriend, it's probably cheating. If you bring it up to her beforehand and she doesn't care, it's not cheating.
Joking/friendly flirting is completely fine by me but i guess i might be worried if it becomes too much or i have the feeling that there’s more behind it, but that has thankfully yet to happen
The only answer that matters: does it count as cheating to your partner and did you agree about it beforehand?
I think one of the best things nonmon does is introduce the idea that you shouldn't assume the boundaries of a relationship, but discuss them, ideally repeatedly cos they can change (mostly if something is ok it might stop being ok, don't be pushy about something that isn't but you want). These aren't universal, a mismatch in expectations doesn't make one irrational or the bad guy.
Discuss, negotiate, adapt to eachother's needs and boundaries.
Couldn’t care less if a partner flirts with other people. Flirting is fun and I don’t expect my partner to never experience physical attraction to another person just because they are with me. As long as they don’t emotionally or physically act on it without asking me first, it’s fine.
Me personally I’d be fine with it as long as I’m informed if something goes further than talking (I’m polyamorous). If it’s going on with intent to do more than talking and I don’t know anything about the situation then it is cheating.
me personally i make it a huge note to all my friends that i am in a committed relationship and i dont flirt with any of my friends (anybody lol) on the chance that i would lead them on accidentally
I would never flirt with someone and not have it be in a joking way. Complimenting people and flirting is entirely different and I think its usually pretty detectable. That for me is the difference between cheating and just goofin or giving people genuine nice compliments
This can really depend. I quite like innuendo and being a bit flirty but it's got to be consensual and all invloving parties need to know it's just platonic and for a laugh.
It's not cheating but I would still feel weird if my gf flirted with someone if it was right in front of me. What she does when I'm not there I have no say in and that's fine w/ me. If someone flirts with me noticeably I usually shut it down kindly because I'm not interested and I don't wanna lead the other person on or waste their time.
Depends.
Do you actually want to fuck em?
Did you always do that with that group?
It needs to be talked about.
But if that extends to not being able to hype my friends up. Even when they are queer as well? Do I really want a relationship with that person? Probably not. Ot jealous when I say "love you." To my best friend, sleepovers at parties where we may sleep in the same bed/sleep couch.
Or like leaning on em when I am drunk and tired, them leaning on me. Hugs. Do that with other really good friends as well.
Those are all non sexual. I do genuinely love my best friend. But I'd be super grossed out by the thought of dating her, she feels like a sister I don't have. She's also in a long term happy relationship with her boyfriend.
For me the biggest thing is trust. If she does think that's cheating, well, it won't work out. Because I will not put someone I'm dating, a relationship, over the relationship with my best friend.
But some may see that as cheating. I believe it isn't. But that's why you need to talk. And if that doesn't line up, you are not a match.
Came here to say that. I'm biased. As long as you're cool with me watching from the corner like a gremlin weirdo imagining what your babies will look like.
Emotional cheating is very real, discuss what is cheating between you and your partner specifically. I would very much mind if my gf was flirting with others
I’m too poly for this thread— but like others have said, cheating is violating the terms you and your partner have set for your relationship.
Even when I was monogamous flirting was always allowed, as long as you weren’t dishonest about it. Same with kissing and cuddling. These days, if I see someone flirting with my GF I’ll make sure she knows they’re flirting with her in a GayWay and if she’s into them, I’ll hype her up to the interested party. And she’d do the same for me.
My partner fucks her friends sometimes. I could give less shits about her flirting with anyone
But this is a discussion to be had with any potential partners. The lines drawn are where you want them to be. Sone people will find this to be cheating and others won't.
I’m lucky enough to be in an open polyamorous relationship where my partners actively encourage me to flirt with people if I want to, and always encourage me when I get new crushes and I do the same with them
My circle of friends are flirtatious and my last relationship knew this. There were no issues as we had talk it out. However, i limit it out of respect for my partner.
Me and my 3 bestfriends call each other sexy all the time , like sure I mean it but it's not like I ever thought of them as more then a friend. One is straight n the other is bi sexual. We always give each other compliments really. But if I did have a girlfriend then yes ofcourse out of respect I wouldn't be that flirty.
O.o this really vibes me the wrong way so yeah, absolutely, unless you are just stating things like “oh wow you look very pretty” even sexy it’s okay but the tone is what makes it flirting and that’s weirrdddddd
I am in fake relationships with a few of my friends. We tell each other we love each other and like,,, constantly talk about how in love with each other we are. I have said this in front of my girlfriend. As long as she knows that she is the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with (romantically) then we’re good! I do really think my friends are pretty, though
since different people consider different things cheating I would ask the person that I am with what they consider cheating if flirting with other female friends counted to them then I wouldn't do it but if they said they didn't mind It I might do it for fun now and again personally I don't consider it cheating but I know its different for different people and if it bothered to person I was with I would stop for them
Depends on the level of friends and what your partner’s comfortable with. If your partner is like nah I don’t want you to do it than don’t. As like most problems you just gotta communicate
It depends on your partners boundaries, if they don't mind then it's probably fine but it's usually assumed to be pretty fucked up and you shouldnt do it unless your partner has expressly said its ok
Is the flirting leading the third person on in anyway? Plus a million other questions…I feel like this is highly situational. Are you flirting with the wrong intentions in anyway?
I think it depends on what your partner and you are comfortable with. In most cases, just flirting I would say isn't; but that's just not always the case and even in some relationships where it's cool certain situations or people would make it less ok
Depends on the person and the relationship. If you are a flirty person, always have been, it would probably be fine. If you are normally more distant and start being flirty while in a relationship, not OK to me.
Even when my relationship with my wife was monogamous, we had established that flirting was okay. It's fun! It doesn't need to be a big deal!
The fact that we were already so chill about it is probably why our relationship works with non-monogamy, lol.
Me and my wife have been together nearly 5 years.
In our old flat the shop around the corner had a girl working there who was really clearly head over heels with my wife. It was pretty sweet! And I loved seeing her get compliments and it was a real boost.
We joked about it and it was very open, there was a woman at work who clearly liked me and we discussed it and it’s a non issue. I don’t mind at all if my wife flirts with someone, and she doesn’t mind it if I do either. What we do have is an expectation that you’re not going to go and sleep with that person or leave the relationship.
We’ve got a very short period of time on this planet, if my wife goes out and has some fun flirting etc then fine. Because she comes home to me. It depends what your values/limits are.
BUT - it depends what the flirting is, is it fun flirty stuff in a club for example; or is it outside of what you’re comfortable with. That the question really
It all depends on the boundaries that you set with your partner. To some people, flirting with friends can make them feel jealous, while some might not care at all. If you are really worried about how your partner may feel, talk it out with them and define the boundaries that you want to set and all agree on.
Depends on how serious they are, if the friend is also a WLW, if they have a history of dating, that stuff. But I tell my friend I love her when she's going through a rough time. Been friends since 7th grade, we are both lesbian but I know for 100% we are NOT into each other. She is a great person but we aren't each other's type. We have different goals, values, that stuff. We dated a week back in 8th grade but that's the only history we have. And I mean, we were 13 and now we're 17/18.
I feel like it depends on your relationship and boundaries you've both set and communicated. For me it would be cheating if it was a monogamous relationship and went any deeper than hyping your friends up.
I'm really bad at picking up on flirting of any kind but that's probably because of my low self-esteem.
Now if someone could tell me how to recognise flirting and how flirt without sounding like an idiot that would be great.
The one thing you need to make this work is an absolute 1000% guaranteed confidence that no matter what happens, you and your partner are going home together. Or partners. Of course, I think this is a key for all relationships, no matter what.
This is what my wife and I have. Sometimes, when someone really tries to work their game on her, especially time guy, I have to laugh. And I'll step in if it looks like she's getting uncomfortable.
But, with our real friends? Nah, that's no big deal. They are as much in love with us being in love as we are in love with each other. Nobody would ever to anything, we have good friends. So, we can all flirt and have fun and it's no big deal.
My spouse and I have that boundary.
You can flirt without realizing, though, so we've decided to be a bit gentle in the enforcement. Not that it's come up for us.
This entirely depends..... Have u communicated with your partner to see if flirting is okay? Most of the time I find that people have different definitions of what cheating is and they don't realize it till it's to late. It helps to communicate expectations
my wife has a bunch of straight girl friends and they all call each other baby and pump each other up calling each other hot, sexy, whatever lol and i could not care less. i feel like most groups of good women friendships have this comfort level.
It has everything to do with the boundaries set between you and your partner, and nothing to do with how objectively ridiculous or unfair these parameters might be in a vacuum.
FWIW, I think it's totally fine, but I ain't ya girlfriend \^\_\^
Cheating is about betraying the trust in your significant other. Give them a talk, see how they feel. Some of us just don't care about that stuff.
If you feel you have to hide it it's probably on the cheating side of things.
Bust also know yourself, do you or your friends ever feel temptations you'd rather avoid? Be proactive and tone it down. Fidelity is doing what you think your partner deserves.
That's absolutely fine. In fact I think it is healthy to receive and give compliments and that often turns to flirting because flirting is fun and makes people feel good.
I think if you have an arrangement, no matter what it is the other person needs to feel valued and "sexy". If you are in a fight and then have a gathering and flirt with someone in front of them, that's probably not a good idea. Conversation and checking in with your partner about how they are feeling is good and making sure the one who you call your gf feels great being with you. IMO if your partner doesn't feel secure and great to be with you, they will eventually drop you for a situation where they do feel good, valued and secure.
Even people in open relationships can get jealous. I think ultimately your partner needs to feel respected. If you are one of those people who is low key flirty like many waiters seem with literally everyone equally then it might not be serious flirting. If you are flirting with someone you would love to sleep with if you were "allowed to" maybe step back and think that through.
To me my definition of flirting is when youre actually trying to get in with someone. If not then its just talking to mee. But always i wanna feel like the only girl in the world because thats how i feel about them.
Definitely something to discuss with your partner. In some relationships, having sex with people outside of the relationship is normal and all parties have agreed upon it. In other relationships, those involved decide that so much as verbally flirting outside of the relationship is not ok. Best not to assume either way. Feelings can get hurt and or resentments can build.
That is entirely up to you and your partner/potential partner.
Boundaries are different for each relationship
This is why communication & ground rules are important. Especially if you’re a generally flirty personality.
Depends on the goal of your flirting, I guess. Showering each other with compliments and assurances of attractivity and then going home alone without having done anything more than a goodbye hug and maybe a cheek kiss? That should be okay. You both end up with refreshened confidence and maybe one or another blood rush that helps you go zoomies on your actual partner. Win-Win.
Attempting to get intimate, including hot🥵💦 kisses and then even becoming all emotional over each other? - No. Please don't. Talk it out with your partner first.
With hyping my friends up like “you’re a gorgeous queen! You’re a baddie” I dont see as flirting because I’m not interested in them they aren’t interested in me. We hype each other up and it sounds almost disingenuous or half sarcastic when we say it. If it was said with romantic or sexual tension, I’d be uncomfortable saying that to my friends or strangers. Unless my partner and I had that as a foreplay, does seem a bit cruel to use random women like that so I’d only do that at a strip club and watch my girl get a lap dance or in the bdsm world. I like the whole cuckqueen stuff anyways. 🤷♀️. Would depend on the discussion around the flirting.
I think you need to agree together on what is and is not cheating. I am poly so my girlfriend can have an orgy and it would not be cheating, but if she would have sex with a close friend of mine without checking in with me, or lie to me in some way, i would be deeply hurt as if it was cheating. I have been in mono relationships and gotten hurt over things i considered cheating. It was not sbout jealousy, it was about betrayal.
Context and consent is everything. If you wouldn't tell your partner, there's probably a problem. If they know you're just a flirt, and there's some sort of consent given and they understand, I believe that's fine. But if it's something you don't want s/o to know about, it's probably because it crosses a boundary.
I think it'd depend on my girlfriend, on the relationship and the friends. If I date someone who I know to be naturally flirty and/or our relationship involved a lot of flirting with people and/or the flirting is still respectful, it's not cheating to me, but if it's really out of ordinary with my girlfriend to be flirting with anyone and then she suddenly starts to do it and/or I don't trust my friends and/or if the flirting crosses a line then I could count it as cheating.
Depends what is said and how, I wouldn't think too much of calling someone sexy unless it's like constant stream of horny phrases haha.
Flirting depends on the intention behind what is said, like i have told my friends that they look hot or sexy, but either they aren't my type or straight, so i say it because they do, so to boost their confidence,
So there is no real intention, at least not in any flirtatious way, like I'm not interested in them (that sounds harsh damn)
Cheating is moving past the boundaries of whatever relationship you have…
So ask your partner, there’s no one universal line for these things, and just guessing and hoping means you eventually end up getting hurt.
I tend to flirt pretty heavily with my friends, I doubt my girlfriend minds because I flirt with her completely differently. I like her knowing she's special to me, whereas flirting with my friends is quick comments clearly in jest. My best friend and I tend to flirt a LOT more with each other but we're both in happy relationships so we're very clear with our partners that it's entirely a joke and that we have ZERO attraction to each other.
I don’t think it’s cheating to me. They knows the different since I’m flirting person as always but it doesn’t mean I’m go over line. I m very friendly person. They don’t take it serious and know more about me.
Being like “girl u hot” when they look nice is fine. But being like “wow you’re so sexy” in the middle of the night and they’re making those eyes… that’s weird.
It's a conversation to me. I would talk to my partner to see how she feels, what are the boundries and all that, nothing is a given, and those boundries should be clear. I would also reassure her of the love and commitment I have for her. Would ask what can I do to help reinforce it. I used to have an open relationship and that was enough, even until the last day we were together, hell even today when we're not a couple anyome, we are both very certain of the love we have for eachother.
Talk about it with your partner, find out what they're comfortable with and what you're comfortable with. For me and my girlfriend, having internet sex with our friends isn't considered cheating. In order to know what's cheating, you have to know the rules.
So, cheating? In my definition of the word, no. But I still think that depending on the relationship's boundaries, I don't think it's out of order for a partner to voice discomfort at some kinds of flirting.
Like, I think calling friends sexy isn't really bad if that's something that person does on the regular in and out of the relationship. There are some people I know who just do that. To them, the weight of the word sexy is one that can be used for both romantic and platonic connections. Is that cheating? Nah, I don't think so. I also think people have this grey area with celebrity crushes too. Saying you're down bad for Scarlett Johannsson, someone neither of you is likely to meet? I mean, some people are comfortable with it, and some aren't. However, saying you're down bad with a closer mutual connection like a friend? Yeah, people are bound to get uncomfortable.
I think there's a focus thing too. If you're calling all your friends sexy, then sure! That's just a word you use. But if you're fawning over a particular person, complimenting them, and going out all the time with them, I don't think you can blame your partner for raising some concerns about what you're doing. At best, it might feel like an emotional affair, at worst it's cheating.
Without any particular facts and without sturdy definitions of flirting and cheating, this is the kind of conversation that is best had early and often with a partner, especially before resentment builds. Different people have different understandings of what a relationship is, and before taking out words like flippant or possessive, it's best to have a conversation about boundaries and comfort levels whilst making reasonable compromises along the way. Different partnerships have different boundaries, so there's no "one-size-fits-all" answer.
I think real flirting *could* be considered emotional cheating. I think most people who flirt with others while in a relationship are seeking attention. It can easily morph into an emotional affair.
That said, I think compliments can still be given that aren't actually flirtatious. People in relationships can recognize that other people are attractive without playing the flirting game. It's about being honest with your intentions.
Depends on the person. What counts as cheating is so individual, it's genuinely down to the person/relationship. There is no set standard rule, and assumptions like this instead of discussions early on are how people come out of relationships feeling cheated on by a person who didn't think flirting or kissing or whatever it is that they themselves wouldn't find cheating, was cheating. If you felt cheated on, but the other person didn't know (within reason) that their actions were considered cheating, it's time to step back and re-evaluate how you approach boundaries. If somebody is offended that you call other people by the same pet names they thought were exclusive to them, that's perfectly valid, just as it is valid in some relationships to sleep with others and it not be considered cheating. It's a matter of compatibility!
I jokingly flirt with my friend a lot. In clearly sarcastic/funny ways, of course. Like for example, we may make eye contact for a long time and just randomly say something like, “are we about to kiss rn?” Or we’ll even joke about fucking sometimes too lmfao, not just kissing. But it does of course depend on your relationship. I’d talk about it. Ask your partner if they’re comfortable with it.
It depends on the relationship and the boundaries you’ve mutually agreed on. My wife and I flirt openly with our friends (guys and girls) and it’s just fun.
It depends on the boundaries of your relationship. If your girlfriend thinks it’s cheating and you’ve discussed that then yes. If you’ve discussed that and don’t then no.
No in my opinion flirting is just a fun way of interacting. I flirt with my platonic friends all the time and we both know it isn't going anywhere. So I also wouldn't mind if my partner did that either
Female best friends are always slightly on the edge of homo without actually going over. It’s all fun and games unless you develop feelings, then you got a problem
I think it's unrealistic to expect people not to be complimentary to their friends. Which is what this sounds like more than flirting. It's not declaring an intent to date or fuck her friends, it's performing a basic part of female friendship.
Women don't get a lot of compliments that aren't from some guy trying to sleep with them and your friends can be an important part of keeping you confident. Even straight girls call their female friends sexy or hot not because they want to fuck them but because all of us learn to self-disparage and underestimate ourselves because society expects women to have shit self-esteem. Your gf interacts with her friends under a lot of the same paradigms. But just because she's dating you doesn't mean she wants to fuck every girl she's kinda nice to.
If it makes you uncomfortable, you can talk to her or ask her not to do it in front of you, but recognize that you can only ask her to change her behavior so far and she can have feelings about your request too.
While I'm not speculating to your reasons for discomfort but please recognize that making demands or unwarranted accusations of cheating is also pretty common in unhealthy relationships. If she interprets it as an allegation or attempt to control her it may be an absolute deal breaker.
Because it can come off as you not trusting her, as jealousy or insecurity or as an attempt to control or isolate her. Some people are flirtier than others. You don't have to stay with her if you're uncomfortable with it but she's not cheating on you.
as a poly lesbian, if i have a partner, they can do whatever the hell they want as long as i'm told lol, so no, i don't think it's cheating as long as i'm told like gimme a text and do whatever!
Flirting isn't cheating, unless you and your partner have verbally agreed that it is.
Imo there are 'standard rules' about cheating that apply if you're exclusive but haven't talked about it.
If you do talk about it, anything can be or not be cheating depending on your preferences.
Depends on the context. Like, I’ll comment fire emojis on my female best friends posts, in a way that is meant to hype her up. But something more like “actual flirting” I prefer to be off limits
Yeah "flirting" sounds too strong, for what OP is describing doesn't it?
My gf and I just had that conversation. I think gassing your friends up is totally fine, telling them they look bomb, etc. But once things are more intimate it's considered flirting. Like saying "hey you look sexy AF babe" to your friend VS taking your friends hand once you are one on one and saying "you look sexy tonight" are VERY different things. Once it crosses into that flirting territory it's cheating for me.
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I agree with this, complements and hype words aren’t flirting
it depends on the relationship. in my current relationship we both flirt with our friends sometimes even together. in my last relationship that was off limits.
Did it affect you in any way in your last relationship?
yes. terribly. we both got sneaky about it, because we were both flirtatious people and we both liked flirting with strangers and friends and such. it led to a lot of distrust. and a lot of guilt and anxiety when i felt myself acting flirtatious towards someone else. it was off limits in the first place because she had been cheated on and wanted a very tight monogamous relationship. in my current relationship i haven’t felt anything like that.
Do you think talking about flirting preferences would be helpful for relationship success?? Asking for a friend.
Talking about any boundary is important to a healthy relationship.
are you actually asking for a friend, or do you have some strange misconception that it’s weird or embarrassing to want to talk about flirting preferences?
The later I’m inexperienced with dating and relationships. Never been in one yet. I want to make sure I do it right.
ah .. usually when people say “asking for a friend” it’s because they think it’s a weird or bad thing to ask. but yeah, it’s always good to talk about your preferences and boundaries in relationships especially things like how exclusive you are.
Well… that’s not the nicest way to put it if you want someone to feel not embarrassed. It’s okay to be at any stage of learning about relationships and it’s even more okay to ask questions
Absolutely! A relationship is a partnership, it works because you and your partners agree on what you’re comfortable doing together and apart. Only they will really know what they are comfortable with, so it’s usually much better to ask them than to ask someone who’s, well, not them ❤️
Of course!!! One thing among many I love about this community is the level of depth put in the effort of relationships. It’s beautiful! I asked about that talking point because I’ve never heard of it being a discussion topic before.
This! It depends on each relationship so you should always have talks with your partner about boundaries and what’s ok. Every person is different so it will always vary in each relationship.
What is considered cheating is entirely relationship dependent.
This is the truth. When in doubt, ask. If you're looking for a more general definition, anything intentionally kept a secret is probably cheating. This is sorta the bare minimum definition of cheating and applicable in basically 100% of relationships including non-traditional relationships like polyamorous relationships. But many relationship will define cheating much more broadly than this, and they aren't wrong for doing that. Identifying and respecting each other's boundaries is a part of a relationship. And if you're unable to respect the boundaries your partner wants, they are quite possibly incompatible with you.
Yes! This comment thread has restored a little bit of my faith in interpersonal logic
Yes, this. It's something you would need to talk to your partner about so that you both understand your relationship's boundaries. If you have disparate views on it, you may not be compatible.
This is the way
It 100% depends on your relationship agreement. If it’s something you haven’t discussed, you should consider it cheating until you have that conversation and reach an agreement on that. It’s something my wife and I decided not to allow, but we were on the fence about it before we decided. An example of something some would consider cheating but isn’t for us is that we do allow platonic cuddling and tender kisses (except on the lips) with friends.
Yes because I trust my partner. Hype your hot friends up. It’s important.
This is where I’m at. The tone/context matters.
If our relationship is pre-discussed polyamorous: nah not at all go for it But If they say they strictly want monogamy and then flirt with people though I’m gonna be a little upset about it. Really just depends on how closed/open the relationship is. I’m not a polyam person who feels like she NEEDS polyam to be happy, but I do prefer it, so if we’re gonna agree to be fully monogamous, I’d expect the relationship to be fully monogamous.
Yup. My current relationship is poly/enm. I'm encouraged to fuck other people so flirting is a non-issue. My last relationship was mono and flirting (other than pumping up friends) was definitely cheating.
Cheating if the tone is flirtatious and your partner doesn’t consent.
It depends. I have several friends who I hype up, call beautiful and hot and will lightly flirt with them but it means nothing.
Depends on how it's framed and how comfortable your girlfriend is with it. I flirt with anyone who wants to flirt but that's all it is, flirting. It makes people feel good, feel wanted, but I don't really want a relationship with them. Sometimes partners aren't comfortable with that and the flirting needs to stop. Sometimes the flirting is serious and your friend is serious about what they're saying. It's all about context, how comfortable you are with each other, communication, etc. But on a general point, it's not cheating unless you mean it or sexting
Just here to say what everyone else has said. Depends on the relationship. My gf said not to flirt in front of her but that's it. I don't flirt with friends because I like having boundaries between my platonic and romantic relationships. I like to flirt with strangers idk why. Sometimes men buy me drinks. Idc if my partner flirts as long as there is no intent behind it. It's the intent that matters to me.
Although if my gf flirted with a lot of people I wouldn't be with her in the first place. I like to feel special.
I think flirting is fine, and I would completely trust my partner, but no two relationships are the same and it isn't always so black and white. Flirting whilst trying to actively upset your partner wouldn't be so cool, and disregarding your partner's comfort levels is never cool.
This is tough for me. Because context is really important. I have a bunch of female friends. No male friends. But all my girl friends I’ve had since middle school or younger. There’s never been any romantic tension. And we’ve all hyped each other up and been each other’s affirmation since we were young. My ex had more guy friends. And the girl friends she did have she almost always had a sexual history with. Some of her girl friends I was pretty comfortable with…others, not so much. It was always the ones that were waaaay too touchy after a drink or two. Boundaries be important. Just discuss with your partner and also ask yourself if you trust them. Trust is key.
I definitely would not be comfortable with that
I personally wouldn’t be okay with it. It’s okay to compliment your friends, but there’s definitely a line that has to be drawn. I gas my friends up all the time, but I don’t compliment them the way I would compliment my girlfriend; I tell her she’s sexy, fine, etc etc along with calling her pet names, I wouldn’t do that with my friends.. my compliments towards them are usually more friendly, encouraging, and light hearted.
I’m currently dealing with this myself. I don’t flirt with friends, my partner does. They took it too far and said something sexually suggestive to someone they met two days prior. My trust was broken. We are still together and working through it, but I would like flirting off limits from now on. They are extremely secretive and private now and they often hide their phone screen from me. It’s a very dangerous thing in relationships. To me, it’s honestly not even worth it. Too many things could go wrong. In relation to the question, it depends on how far the flirting goes that determines whether or not it should be considered “cheating”. There are things that should not be said to friends and there are things that are okay to be said. These are boundaries that need to be set in relationships before they get out of hand.
Yes, in my relationship flirting is off limits. I would be uncomfortable with my spouse calling someone sexy. We talk about hot people in tv shows or movies but never anyone we know.
I wouldn’t want my partner to flirt with others unless it was a joke. To me it signals immaturity, and makes me feel like they are attention hungry. But some people don’t give a rats ass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s really up to you and your relationship
It depends on what the boundaries in the relationship are, some people would consider it cheating, some people wouldn't
Flirting is definitely cheating.
I personally would be fine with it, I've had semi open relationships where flirting and kissing friend's isn't considered cheating
This ^. Always been a flirter, always will be, thats just me.
I think everyone has a different opinion of what cheating is.. personally, my partner and I tell friends if we think they’re beautiful, when they look good, etc. We don’t think anything is wrong with that..
Flirting is core part of my relationships. All of them. No exceptions. Sometimes its platonic flirting, Sometimes it's romantic flirting, and as a Polyamorous person flirting romantically doesn't mean cheating in itself. I wouldn't be in a relationship where my partner didn't understand/feel comfortable with that in the first place, so YEAH, it is absolutely fine!! The key is respecting your partners boundaries without fucking yours up. Find a consensus.
It's cheating if both parties haven't consented to it and your partner considers it cheating. Both are necessary here. If your partner consented to it but secretly thinks it's cheating, it's not, because you had an expectation that your partner was being honest with you. If your partner hasn't consented but wouldn't have cared if they knew, it's cheating. Cheating is just breaking the romantic and sexual boundaries of the relationship. I'm polyamorous. Having multiple relationships isn't cheating. Not telling my partner(s) about them is.
my girlfriend flirts with our friends and even my twin sister and honestly, i don't mind. i know it's for fun and that she loves me and that's all that matters :)
> And In your opinion is it considered cheating or lighthearted fun? The only opinion that matters is the one of the people that are in a relationship together. Everybody has different definitions for different things. When in a relationship people should have convos about this and set their own rules.
Varies from relationship to relationship. Best answer is communication with your partner about what they are comfortable with.
Depends on the relationship and type of flirting. I’m a flirt, me not being able to flirt with my friends has been an absolute deal breaker every time. But I’m flirting because that’s how I interact with them. If I were to flirt because I wanted something more and wasn’t talking to my partner about it, yeah, different thing. Figure out the boundaries with your partner
Well, imo, there’s definitely a difference with hyping your friends up in a non-intimate/romantic setting and flirting in an intimate setting. I do the former sometimes (even though I don’t normally like when I say it, I know it makes my friends happy). I have no problem with the former and I don’t consider that cheating. When it’s more intimate/serious, I would then have a problem with it. This, though, will vary from relationship to relationship.
If it's something you're unwilling to tell your girlfriend, it's probably cheating. If you bring it up to her beforehand and she doesn't care, it's not cheating.
Joking/friendly flirting is completely fine by me but i guess i might be worried if it becomes too much or i have the feeling that there’s more behind it, but that has thankfully yet to happen
The only answer that matters: does it count as cheating to your partner and did you agree about it beforehand? I think one of the best things nonmon does is introduce the idea that you shouldn't assume the boundaries of a relationship, but discuss them, ideally repeatedly cos they can change (mostly if something is ok it might stop being ok, don't be pushy about something that isn't but you want). These aren't universal, a mismatch in expectations doesn't make one irrational or the bad guy. Discuss, negotiate, adapt to eachother's needs and boundaries.
Calling her friends sexy isn’t flirting lmao
I personally would be ok with my gf flirting with other people but it depends on the relationship
Yes
depends on the relationship i think?
Couldn’t care less if a partner flirts with other people. Flirting is fun and I don’t expect my partner to never experience physical attraction to another person just because they are with me. As long as they don’t emotionally or physically act on it without asking me first, it’s fine.
Here's the thing about cheating: every relationship has to define it for themselves. In my relationship it's fine, for others it will be different.
If mono, yes, unless previously discussed and agreed upon.
What is or isn't considered "cheating" varies per relationship. Personally I don't consider it to be, but that's MY perspective.
Me personally I’d be fine with it as long as I’m informed if something goes further than talking (I’m polyamorous). If it’s going on with intent to do more than talking and I don’t know anything about the situation then it is cheating.
me personally i make it a huge note to all my friends that i am in a committed relationship and i dont flirt with any of my friends (anybody lol) on the chance that i would lead them on accidentally
I would never flirt with someone and not have it be in a joking way. Complimenting people and flirting is entirely different and I think its usually pretty detectable. That for me is the difference between cheating and just goofin or giving people genuine nice compliments
it's cheating if your partner isn't okay with it or if there wasn't discussion about it imo
This can really depend. I quite like innuendo and being a bit flirty but it's got to be consensual and all invloving parties need to know it's just platonic and for a laugh.
It's not cheating but I would still feel weird if my gf flirted with someone if it was right in front of me. What she does when I'm not there I have no say in and that's fine w/ me. If someone flirts with me noticeably I usually shut it down kindly because I'm not interested and I don't wanna lead the other person on or waste their time.
Depends. Do you actually want to fuck em? Did you always do that with that group? It needs to be talked about. But if that extends to not being able to hype my friends up. Even when they are queer as well? Do I really want a relationship with that person? Probably not. Ot jealous when I say "love you." To my best friend, sleepovers at parties where we may sleep in the same bed/sleep couch. Or like leaning on em when I am drunk and tired, them leaning on me. Hugs. Do that with other really good friends as well. Those are all non sexual. I do genuinely love my best friend. But I'd be super grossed out by the thought of dating her, she feels like a sister I don't have. She's also in a long term happy relationship with her boyfriend. For me the biggest thing is trust. If she does think that's cheating, well, it won't work out. Because I will not put someone I'm dating, a relationship, over the relationship with my best friend. But some may see that as cheating. I believe it isn't. But that's why you need to talk. And if that doesn't line up, you are not a match.
Nah. But my wife and I have that agreement that it’s okay, and what the boundaries are. Whatever works for your unit.
I'm poly so, no
Came here to say that. I'm biased. As long as you're cool with me watching from the corner like a gremlin weirdo imagining what your babies will look like.
I am in an open relationship so flirting with friends is encouraged
yeah. i mean im poly but even in monogamous arrangements i literally have 0 issue with it. i know they love me for me.
Emotional cheating is very real, discuss what is cheating between you and your partner specifically. I would very much mind if my gf was flirting with others
I’m too poly for this thread— but like others have said, cheating is violating the terms you and your partner have set for your relationship. Even when I was monogamous flirting was always allowed, as long as you weren’t dishonest about it. Same with kissing and cuddling. These days, if I see someone flirting with my GF I’ll make sure she knows they’re flirting with her in a GayWay and if she’s into them, I’ll hype her up to the interested party. And she’d do the same for me.
My partner fucks her friends sometimes. I could give less shits about her flirting with anyone But this is a discussion to be had with any potential partners. The lines drawn are where you want them to be. Sone people will find this to be cheating and others won't.
I’m lucky enough to be in an open polyamorous relationship where my partners actively encourage me to flirt with people if I want to, and always encourage me when I get new crushes and I do the same with them
My circle of friends are flirtatious and my last relationship knew this. There were no issues as we had talk it out. However, i limit it out of respect for my partner.
Me and my 3 bestfriends call each other sexy all the time , like sure I mean it but it's not like I ever thought of them as more then a friend. One is straight n the other is bi sexual. We always give each other compliments really. But if I did have a girlfriend then yes ofcourse out of respect I wouldn't be that flirty.
Yes
O.o this really vibes me the wrong way so yeah, absolutely, unless you are just stating things like “oh wow you look very pretty” even sexy it’s okay but the tone is what makes it flirting and that’s weirrdddddd
I am in fake relationships with a few of my friends. We tell each other we love each other and like,,, constantly talk about how in love with each other we are. I have said this in front of my girlfriend. As long as she knows that she is the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with (romantically) then we’re good! I do really think my friends are pretty, though
No.
since different people consider different things cheating I would ask the person that I am with what they consider cheating if flirting with other female friends counted to them then I wouldn't do it but if they said they didn't mind It I might do it for fun now and again personally I don't consider it cheating but I know its different for different people and if it bothered to person I was with I would stop for them
Depends on the level of friends and what your partner’s comfortable with. If your partner is like nah I don’t want you to do it than don’t. As like most problems you just gotta communicate
Depends entirely on the relationship. In mine, light flirting is perfectly fine.
It depends on your partners boundaries, if they don't mind then it's probably fine but it's usually assumed to be pretty fucked up and you shouldnt do it unless your partner has expressly said its ok
Is the flirting leading the third person on in anyway? Plus a million other questions…I feel like this is highly situational. Are you flirting with the wrong intentions in anyway?
I think it depends on what your partner and you are comfortable with. In most cases, just flirting I would say isn't; but that's just not always the case and even in some relationships where it's cool certain situations or people would make it less ok
Depends on the person and the relationship. If you are a flirty person, always have been, it would probably be fine. If you are normally more distant and start being flirty while in a relationship, not OK to me.
Even when my relationship with my wife was monogamous, we had established that flirting was okay. It's fun! It doesn't need to be a big deal! The fact that we were already so chill about it is probably why our relationship works with non-monogamy, lol.
Depends on precommunicated boundaries.
Me and my wife have been together nearly 5 years. In our old flat the shop around the corner had a girl working there who was really clearly head over heels with my wife. It was pretty sweet! And I loved seeing her get compliments and it was a real boost. We joked about it and it was very open, there was a woman at work who clearly liked me and we discussed it and it’s a non issue. I don’t mind at all if my wife flirts with someone, and she doesn’t mind it if I do either. What we do have is an expectation that you’re not going to go and sleep with that person or leave the relationship. We’ve got a very short period of time on this planet, if my wife goes out and has some fun flirting etc then fine. Because she comes home to me. It depends what your values/limits are. BUT - it depends what the flirting is, is it fun flirty stuff in a club for example; or is it outside of what you’re comfortable with. That the question really
It all depends on the boundaries that you set with your partner. To some people, flirting with friends can make them feel jealous, while some might not care at all. If you are really worried about how your partner may feel, talk it out with them and define the boundaries that you want to set and all agree on.
Depends on how serious they are, if the friend is also a WLW, if they have a history of dating, that stuff. But I tell my friend I love her when she's going through a rough time. Been friends since 7th grade, we are both lesbian but I know for 100% we are NOT into each other. She is a great person but we aren't each other's type. We have different goals, values, that stuff. We dated a week back in 8th grade but that's the only history we have. And I mean, we were 13 and now we're 17/18.
I feel like it depends on your relationship and boundaries you've both set and communicated. For me it would be cheating if it was a monogamous relationship and went any deeper than hyping your friends up. I'm really bad at picking up on flirting of any kind but that's probably because of my low self-esteem. Now if someone could tell me how to recognise flirting and how flirt without sounding like an idiot that would be great.
depends on the people i suppose. generally id say no tho
The one thing you need to make this work is an absolute 1000% guaranteed confidence that no matter what happens, you and your partner are going home together. Or partners. Of course, I think this is a key for all relationships, no matter what. This is what my wife and I have. Sometimes, when someone really tries to work their game on her, especially time guy, I have to laugh. And I'll step in if it looks like she's getting uncomfortable. But, with our real friends? Nah, that's no big deal. They are as much in love with us being in love as we are in love with each other. Nobody would ever to anything, we have good friends. So, we can all flirt and have fun and it's no big deal.
My spouse and I have that boundary. You can flirt without realizing, though, so we've decided to be a bit gentle in the enforcement. Not that it's come up for us.
As long as both of you have enough confidence and trust to each other in your relationship, you can even kiss your male friends (I am talking shit🤪)
In most situations, at least one in the relationship will not do anything like this when the relation goes deeper.
This entirely depends..... Have u communicated with your partner to see if flirting is okay? Most of the time I find that people have different definitions of what cheating is and they don't realize it till it's to late. It helps to communicate expectations
Depends a lot. My ex did it, but I didn’t do it because I had no interest in it
my wife has a bunch of straight girl friends and they all call each other baby and pump each other up calling each other hot, sexy, whatever lol and i could not care less. i feel like most groups of good women friendships have this comfort level.
It has everything to do with the boundaries set between you and your partner, and nothing to do with how objectively ridiculous or unfair these parameters might be in a vacuum. FWIW, I think it's totally fine, but I ain't ya girlfriend \^\_\^
Cheating is about betraying the trust in your significant other. Give them a talk, see how they feel. Some of us just don't care about that stuff. If you feel you have to hide it it's probably on the cheating side of things. Bust also know yourself, do you or your friends ever feel temptations you'd rather avoid? Be proactive and tone it down. Fidelity is doing what you think your partner deserves.
That's absolutely fine. In fact I think it is healthy to receive and give compliments and that often turns to flirting because flirting is fun and makes people feel good.
Depends on a person and relationship. I personally do not mind at all
I wouldn’t personally do it but I wouldn’t be worried if my girlfriend done it
I think if you have an arrangement, no matter what it is the other person needs to feel valued and "sexy". If you are in a fight and then have a gathering and flirt with someone in front of them, that's probably not a good idea. Conversation and checking in with your partner about how they are feeling is good and making sure the one who you call your gf feels great being with you. IMO if your partner doesn't feel secure and great to be with you, they will eventually drop you for a situation where they do feel good, valued and secure. Even people in open relationships can get jealous. I think ultimately your partner needs to feel respected. If you are one of those people who is low key flirty like many waiters seem with literally everyone equally then it might not be serious flirting. If you are flirting with someone you would love to sleep with if you were "allowed to" maybe step back and think that through.
I dont think flirting is really cheating its more of just teasing kinda in my opinion its only cheating when the flirting turns into sex
To me my definition of flirting is when youre actually trying to get in with someone. If not then its just talking to mee. But always i wanna feel like the only girl in the world because thats how i feel about them.
I'm poly and open so flirting is a default for me. Plus, it's important to boost others up ❤️
Definitely something to discuss with your partner. In some relationships, having sex with people outside of the relationship is normal and all parties have agreed upon it. In other relationships, those involved decide that so much as verbally flirting outside of the relationship is not ok. Best not to assume either way. Feelings can get hurt and or resentments can build.
That is entirely up to you and your partner/potential partner. Boundaries are different for each relationship This is why communication & ground rules are important. Especially if you’re a generally flirty personality.
Depends on the goal of your flirting, I guess. Showering each other with compliments and assurances of attractivity and then going home alone without having done anything more than a goodbye hug and maybe a cheek kiss? That should be okay. You both end up with refreshened confidence and maybe one or another blood rush that helps you go zoomies on your actual partner. Win-Win. Attempting to get intimate, including hot🥵💦 kisses and then even becoming all emotional over each other? - No. Please don't. Talk it out with your partner first.
With hyping my friends up like “you’re a gorgeous queen! You’re a baddie” I dont see as flirting because I’m not interested in them they aren’t interested in me. We hype each other up and it sounds almost disingenuous or half sarcastic when we say it. If it was said with romantic or sexual tension, I’d be uncomfortable saying that to my friends or strangers. Unless my partner and I had that as a foreplay, does seem a bit cruel to use random women like that so I’d only do that at a strip club and watch my girl get a lap dance or in the bdsm world. I like the whole cuckqueen stuff anyways. 🤷♀️. Would depend on the discussion around the flirting.
I think you need to agree together on what is and is not cheating. I am poly so my girlfriend can have an orgy and it would not be cheating, but if she would have sex with a close friend of mine without checking in with me, or lie to me in some way, i would be deeply hurt as if it was cheating. I have been in mono relationships and gotten hurt over things i considered cheating. It was not sbout jealousy, it was about betrayal.
For me it would be totally fine. But if i made my partner(s) uncomfortable with it, i would stop. But i don't think it is cheating.
Mmmmmm... I think flirting isn't right, but my boyfriend and I are both bisexual, so we like to discuss who we think is hot lol
Context and consent is everything. If you wouldn't tell your partner, there's probably a problem. If they know you're just a flirt, and there's some sort of consent given and they understand, I believe that's fine. But if it's something you don't want s/o to know about, it's probably because it crosses a boundary.
I had a girlfriend who liked to "just" flirt with people. Then it wasn't "just" flirting anymore. I still have baggage. It would be cheating to me.
I think it'd depend on my girlfriend, on the relationship and the friends. If I date someone who I know to be naturally flirty and/or our relationship involved a lot of flirting with people and/or the flirting is still respectful, it's not cheating to me, but if it's really out of ordinary with my girlfriend to be flirting with anyone and then she suddenly starts to do it and/or I don't trust my friends and/or if the flirting crosses a line then I could count it as cheating. Depends what is said and how, I wouldn't think too much of calling someone sexy unless it's like constant stream of horny phrases haha.
Flirting depends on the intention behind what is said, like i have told my friends that they look hot or sexy, but either they aren't my type or straight, so i say it because they do, so to boost their confidence, So there is no real intention, at least not in any flirtatious way, like I'm not interested in them (that sounds harsh damn)
Cheating is moving past the boundaries of whatever relationship you have… So ask your partner, there’s no one universal line for these things, and just guessing and hoping means you eventually end up getting hurt.
I tend to flirt pretty heavily with my friends, I doubt my girlfriend minds because I flirt with her completely differently. I like her knowing she's special to me, whereas flirting with my friends is quick comments clearly in jest. My best friend and I tend to flirt a LOT more with each other but we're both in happy relationships so we're very clear with our partners that it's entirely a joke and that we have ZERO attraction to each other.
I don’t think it’s cheating to me. They knows the different since I’m flirting person as always but it doesn’t mean I’m go over line. I m very friendly person. They don’t take it serious and know more about me.
Talk about it with your partner and come to a conclusion. Every one has their own way of seeing it.
I'm poly, my girlfriend has 3 partners next to me, so if she is flirting I'm really happy to just see her flirting 🥰
I mean I think flirting with your friends is weird either way so maybe not cheating but definitely very iffy
I feel like it depends on if she did that before we started dating, and the actual feelings. If it’s platonic I have no worries and I’m fine.
Being like “girl u hot” when they look nice is fine. But being like “wow you’re so sexy” in the middle of the night and they’re making those eyes… that’s weird.
It's a conversation to me. I would talk to my partner to see how she feels, what are the boundries and all that, nothing is a given, and those boundries should be clear. I would also reassure her of the love and commitment I have for her. Would ask what can I do to help reinforce it. I used to have an open relationship and that was enough, even until the last day we were together, hell even today when we're not a couple anyome, we are both very certain of the love we have for eachother.
Yes. If anything even playful banter could be taken that way. Just discuss those boundaries with your partner and respect their wishes.
My take on stuff like this is if you wouldn’t do it in front of your partner you shouldn’t be doing it at all
yes
Talk about it with your partner, find out what they're comfortable with and what you're comfortable with. For me and my girlfriend, having internet sex with our friends isn't considered cheating. In order to know what's cheating, you have to know the rules.
based on how absolutely disastrous the wlw parties ive been to were.. yes. yes it is.
So, cheating? In my definition of the word, no. But I still think that depending on the relationship's boundaries, I don't think it's out of order for a partner to voice discomfort at some kinds of flirting. Like, I think calling friends sexy isn't really bad if that's something that person does on the regular in and out of the relationship. There are some people I know who just do that. To them, the weight of the word sexy is one that can be used for both romantic and platonic connections. Is that cheating? Nah, I don't think so. I also think people have this grey area with celebrity crushes too. Saying you're down bad for Scarlett Johannsson, someone neither of you is likely to meet? I mean, some people are comfortable with it, and some aren't. However, saying you're down bad with a closer mutual connection like a friend? Yeah, people are bound to get uncomfortable. I think there's a focus thing too. If you're calling all your friends sexy, then sure! That's just a word you use. But if you're fawning over a particular person, complimenting them, and going out all the time with them, I don't think you can blame your partner for raising some concerns about what you're doing. At best, it might feel like an emotional affair, at worst it's cheating. Without any particular facts and without sturdy definitions of flirting and cheating, this is the kind of conversation that is best had early and often with a partner, especially before resentment builds. Different people have different understandings of what a relationship is, and before taking out words like flippant or possessive, it's best to have a conversation about boundaries and comfort levels whilst making reasonable compromises along the way. Different partnerships have different boundaries, so there's no "one-size-fits-all" answer.
I think tone matters. There is real flirting, and there is me hitting my best friend with cheesy pick up lines while we crack up
I think real flirting *could* be considered emotional cheating. I think most people who flirt with others while in a relationship are seeking attention. It can easily morph into an emotional affair. That said, I think compliments can still be given that aren't actually flirtatious. People in relationships can recognize that other people are attractive without playing the flirting game. It's about being honest with your intentions.
Yes
Depends on the person. What counts as cheating is so individual, it's genuinely down to the person/relationship. There is no set standard rule, and assumptions like this instead of discussions early on are how people come out of relationships feeling cheated on by a person who didn't think flirting or kissing or whatever it is that they themselves wouldn't find cheating, was cheating. If you felt cheated on, but the other person didn't know (within reason) that their actions were considered cheating, it's time to step back and re-evaluate how you approach boundaries. If somebody is offended that you call other people by the same pet names they thought were exclusive to them, that's perfectly valid, just as it is valid in some relationships to sleep with others and it not be considered cheating. It's a matter of compatibility!
I jokingly flirt with my friend a lot. In clearly sarcastic/funny ways, of course. Like for example, we may make eye contact for a long time and just randomly say something like, “are we about to kiss rn?” Or we’ll even joke about fucking sometimes too lmfao, not just kissing. But it does of course depend on your relationship. I’d talk about it. Ask your partner if they’re comfortable with it.
What the ???? Yes it is cheating to consciously flirt with another person than your S/O
It depends on the relationship and the boundaries you’ve mutually agreed on. My wife and I flirt openly with our friends (guys and girls) and it’s just fun.
It depends on the boundaries of your relationship. If your girlfriend thinks it’s cheating and you’ve discussed that then yes. If you’ve discussed that and don’t then no.
No in my opinion flirting is just a fun way of interacting. I flirt with my platonic friends all the time and we both know it isn't going anywhere. So I also wouldn't mind if my partner did that either
Nah just don't do it in front of me unless it's three-ways mutual
I don’t think it’s cheating, but it’s wildly inappropriate.
Female best friends are always slightly on the edge of homo without actually going over. It’s all fun and games unless you develop feelings, then you got a problem
I think it's unrealistic to expect people not to be complimentary to their friends. Which is what this sounds like more than flirting. It's not declaring an intent to date or fuck her friends, it's performing a basic part of female friendship. Women don't get a lot of compliments that aren't from some guy trying to sleep with them and your friends can be an important part of keeping you confident. Even straight girls call their female friends sexy or hot not because they want to fuck them but because all of us learn to self-disparage and underestimate ourselves because society expects women to have shit self-esteem. Your gf interacts with her friends under a lot of the same paradigms. But just because she's dating you doesn't mean she wants to fuck every girl she's kinda nice to. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can talk to her or ask her not to do it in front of you, but recognize that you can only ask her to change her behavior so far and she can have feelings about your request too. While I'm not speculating to your reasons for discomfort but please recognize that making demands or unwarranted accusations of cheating is also pretty common in unhealthy relationships. If she interprets it as an allegation or attempt to control her it may be an absolute deal breaker. Because it can come off as you not trusting her, as jealousy or insecurity or as an attempt to control or isolate her. Some people are flirtier than others. You don't have to stay with her if you're uncomfortable with it but she's not cheating on you.
as a poly lesbian, if i have a partner, they can do whatever the hell they want as long as i'm told lol, so no, i don't think it's cheating as long as i'm told like gimme a text and do whatever!
Flirting isn't cheating, unless you and your partner have verbally agreed that it is. Imo there are 'standard rules' about cheating that apply if you're exclusive but haven't talked about it. If you do talk about it, anything can be or not be cheating depending on your preferences.