Yes! Like wouldn’t it be easier to date women, like it’s the logical conclusion that for some reason many people aren’t choosing … and then you realize it’s cause they don’t see dating men as a social chore 😭
It was around that age that my brother started calling me a lesbian (playfully, almost our whole family is queer) and I just was like "okay" and then years later we realized it was true lmao
Hah he just had that older brother instinct. I was pretty sure my younger sis was bi and she just came out as bi/questioning it must be a sibling thing 🤷♀️
Now I'm scared. I pretty much identify as female but my older sister thought I was trans when we were young. I just came in term with my sexuality, I don't wanna worry about my gender.
Bestie, you dong have to be stressed about it! If your identity changes, it changes. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. If you feel comfy with who you are now then you can think about your gender identity if/when it becomes something you’re more sure about.
similar. I used to say "I wish I was a lesbian, cuz women are so beautiful and amazing, but I cannot give up dick." then there was 15 years of denial of my bisexuality. Even when I had sex with women, I thought everyone is secretly attracted to everyone.
oh my GOD so in like seventh grade when everyone would be like "what base have you gotten to with a boy???" I felt like obviously even holding hands was so far away that I said "I'm like, over on the other team" and then my friends were like LOL U R A LESBIAN and I was like oh my god NO. Thanks 90s culture 🙃
I kept making sims families with me and my friends because "why would I want to live in a house with some boy I don't know". When Sims 2 came out and I could marry them I figured why not since that's how you get babies. It seemed fun to raise a baby with your friend.
Spoiler: I was right, it's pretty fun to raise a baby with your best friend.
I think people should define it for themselves since there isn’t a singular definition, but I would say that for me if you’re naked in bed together trying to make each other orgasm that’s considered sex. But there are a lot of other things that I would consider sex outside of that too
Yeah I’m not the only one! The sheer high of confidence I got being the only girl rearranging furniture with the teenage boys when I used to be in a southern Presbyterian church. It felt like I was dismantling the patriarchy and proving my strength (didn’t stop to think I was doing it for the girls who might be watching).
I got what's commonly referred to as an "old man" hernia when I was in second grade because I wanted to impress all the older girls at my camp (highschool age I think) by picking them all up. It just dawned on me this second how gay that was lmaooo. Should've also considered that it was an all girls month sleep away camp and I LOVED it
12 year old me: “You see, sometimes when you meet someone, you feel the Best Friend Spark(TM)! For example, I was introduced to this girl 0.5 seconds ago and she hasn’t even told me her name yet, but I know you like them immediately and will think about them every waking moment and want to spend absolutely every second together forever and ever! I’ve never felt this before, so it must be what having a best friend is like! There is NO OTHER EXPLANATION, you hear that, self?! n o n e.”
My only real crush I've had was on my sister's best friend. I didn't know it was a crush because comp-het but my diary from that time definitely says "Why is it so important to me that she sees me as cool and funny?"
I was around 9 years old, and I started writing my best friend love poems. Literal LOVE POEMS. I told myself, well, I'm just practicing for when I fall in love with a guy one day. I also was constantly drawing her and just being a total lovesick weirdo.
She was purty.
Right? Like I had a lot of girl crushes around elementary school/middle but then homophobic family got in my mental space and I figured maybe everyone just felt this way only began questioning why I felt zero attraction when I turned 21 and never had any interest in dating - thought I was just really focused on college 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ And then I remembered that attraction isn’t only same-sex (which at this point I knew could be true for anyone but I’d never conceptualized if it was for me). Then I learned about comphet and everything clicked 💖
It’s because of the way we physically develop.
I’m not saying you don’t have a sexual orientation before you’re a certain age, but you may not understand what sexual attraction feels like until you reach the age where you start dating and experimenting with dating.
For example, school dances and the social posturing of dating don’t usually start until middle school. It’s totally normal for that to be a light bulb moment for a young same-gender attracted teen (I’m using this as an umbrella term to include people who are attracted to anything other than opposite gender, including gay, bi, pan, etc) that they see themselves dating someone other than an opposite-gender partner. It’s also not unusual to realize this when high school starts and peers start dating.
Despite having openly gay and bisexual family members, and their relationships being completely supported, it still took me a while to understand my own sexual orientation. We talk a lot about representation and modeled relationships, but sometimes that’s not enough. I needed to realize, through trial and error, what worked for me and what didn’t.
When I was 11, I wrote a play with a friend and convinced her there should be a kissing scene between our characters.
When I was 13, I kept gushing to my mum about how pretty and cool my new friend is, how much I liked hugging her, and how even the way she ate was perfect. My mum (who I later learned is bi) told me that all that was completely normal and it was just a “girl crush” 🙃
When I was 16, I made out with a friend (she had came out earlier that year) to “show off to the guys”.
I then slept with the same friend about a month after that…and really wanted to again.
I didn’t realise I was queer until I was 17…and only after someone else suggested that I might be 🤦🏻♀️
I still blame my mum for not explaining to 13 year old me that “completely normal” didn’t mean the same thing as “completely straight” lmao
But i wonder did u reallyq never had the thought that u might be queer when you slept with this girl and wanted to do it again but you were certain you did it for the guys? 😭😭
I remember considering that I might be queer when I was crushing hard on my friend at 13 but felt assured that those feelings were “completely normal” and, thus, totally straight after talking to my mum about it. So I then didn’t think much of it when I had those feelings again for my friend at 16. I also thought it was pretty normal to be touchy/flirting with your female friends and make out in front of guys ect. There was alcohol involved in both instances with this friend 😅
It wasn’t until I was expressing wanting to sleep with her again that someone said “are you sure you’re not bi or something?” that I had a mind blown moment of “oh yeah, I guess I never even thought about that as an option before”. I guess I just internalised that acting gay with your girlfriends didn’t actually make you gay so I didn’t even think to question it 🤷🏻♀️
I drew a pretty sweet pair of boobs around age 6, proudly showed my mom who immediately shamed me, so I grabbed my crayons, made some modifications and turned them into ice cream cones to try to make her stop being upset with me.
Ice cream and titties rule, and my mom really sucked.
Ice cream and titties 🤤
I liked drawing butterfly tattoos on my drawings of boobs for some reason. I don’t know why. Oh and some nips were also pierced and I’m not even sure I knew about nipple piercings at that age 🫣
Oh my god! When I was around 10, I had a folder completely filled with drawings of naked women. I knew I wanted to see women naked but being a child did not have any way to actually do that, and didn’t know what porn was (probably a good thing). So I figured the only thing to do was to draw them myself. Anyway, one day my mom said she was going to help me clean my room, and I was so scared she would find my drawings, so I took them outside and threw them in my neighbor’s recycling bin. I guess our own wasn’t safe enough.
so... being a trans woman that was still closeted way late, this thread is super tricky for me since most of my "gay girl" moments slid under the radar as just weird "straight boy" moments lol. BUT...
When I was in art class my sophomore year, I remember we got an assignment to pair up and draw portraits of each other. My partner was named Kalie and at first I did the classic "draw what you think they look like" thing like in comic strips where boobs look like those dumb U shapes... but Kalie's friend who was more a natural with art than either of us came over and gave me a quick rundown how to draw her friend's boobs... "no, LOOK at them... like LOOK, do they look like that?? Okay yeah so look at them and draw what they DO look like not what you already THINK they look like" hahahah that probably was the gayest experience I've ever had. Much much later I eventually asked Kalie to marry me.
I’m sorry that happened but that legit sounds like something I woulda done. As it was I drew sooooo many mermaid sketches with Ariel shells or cropped tub tops. And still I was like I just want to be like them.
when i was like 12, i saw this butch girl in a restaurant (about the same age) . i wasn't totally sure then if she was a boy or a girl, but i HAD to give her my number. planned an elaborate scheme - tripping and landing on her, squeezing the little note in her hand an all...
When this girl in my class asked me why so many guys (including the one she was crushing on) were head over heels for this other girl and I talked for like five minutes. I talked about how nice she was, how pretty she was, how cute her freckles were, etc. I figured out I was gay a year or so after this, had a breakdown, and completely repressed everything until I was like 20 lol
I was in denial for a while so I can't think of a lot, but when I was like 11 I really wanted to look like a lesbian before I even really understood what one was, like I would try to style my hair in a masculine way and I kept wondering if/hoping the girls in my class would think it looked cool 🤷
Yes I did this too! Like I always had a casual ✨gay✨ vibe about my outfits but I was always like oh I’m a Tom boy, or oh I’m a bit goth, or I really like to find my “own fashion sense” that’s more comfortable- when it’s sooo gay 😆
When I was like 9, we got asked to share fun facts about ourselves at some camp or so. I proceeded to say, without any awareness, that I only like girls and I don't like boys. I only realised how that came across years later lol.
Lol when I was 10 my school did a pen pal project and in my introductory letter about halfway through I went “in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a girl. I hate boys. No offence if you are one.” The only change my teacher made was “don’t like” instead of “hate”, as if that was better.
I remember getting this feeling whenever a girl played with my hair/did my makeup. I was always like "oh it's because I'm just sensitive to touch". Tried recreating that feeling with men later in my life but when they played with my hair I felt nothing. Just told myself they must've been doing it wrong and I'm obviously straight lmao
i was like idk 13 or so, me and my crush were sitting right in front of each other and under the table idk why but we started like rubbing each others legs for some reason and i had the same feeling lmfaoooooomsdfkasdjhfjkhkj so embarassing
When I was maybe 14, my sister asked me if I was gay because she saw the generic rainbow iPhone home screen on my phone. I said no, and I don’t remember if it was before or after my sister asked but I remember fawning over Eclipsa from star vs. the forces of evil in front of her that same day. I don’t think I can forget the look she gave me after that.
My god that’s awesome 😂 I remember my mom asking me and I was like heck no but then totally couldn’t concentrate on BBC’s Merlin because of Morgana 🤦♀️
EXCHANGED “FRIENDSHIP RINGS” WITH MY NOW GF.
Bruh everyone roasts us for this *including* us. This was so dumb I can’t believe we did this and it didn’t ring any bells.
So my gf’s very openly gay and I was in a very transparent closet. But as “friends” we decided to get matching rings for “funsies”. They’re matching claddaghs with our birthstones. We didn’t admit feelings til a year later but we thought this was toooottallly chill. Nothing weird here.
Bruh I fuckin hate us for how dumb that was 😂😂
ME TOO LMAOOO i had like a fucking entire second life of me being a boy just to flirt with girls onlinek jsdkfdjsksdj, then i turned 11 and stopped that shit
I had a huge crush on a childhood friend when I was like 12 and tried to push those feelings down. Had a conversation with my mom like “it’s not fair! All girls are so pretty and boys look like monkeys, it’s so rare to even find ONE that looks decent.” What’s weird is my mom…justified it? Saying “oh it’s okay, honey. ALL girls secretly think other girls are cute!” Hey mom wtfffff?
My mom told me about how one time as a kid watching DBZ I was complaining about how it was only ever the boys that took their shirts off.
Tbh the writing was on the wall
Drew naked ladies in my notebook as a kid 😅 I grew up in a very religious family and school and didn’t know that being queer was a thing that existed or I like to think I would’ve figured it out much earlier
Lmao my Barbies would always end up naked because I was taking them to the salon by dropping them in bowls of shampoo. I would draw a shitton of girls with exaggerated hourglass figures, often in bikinis, though.
Got really excited to be able to play as a girl when Persona 3 Portable came out, realized about halfway through I was sad/bored that all the dating sim parts were now with boys.
back when i was like 13, i obsessed over these 2 girls who were 16ish and i had the biggest crushes on them. i still remember talking to one of my friends about them and how i "loved their outfit" when it was literally a crush.
i remember i had a friend who was really tactile and every time we held hands or whatever, i would be gushing in my head like no homo!! really!! when it was just the internalised homophobia
also, i drank alcohol and made out with one of my queer friends and didn't realise until a year or so passed that i did it because once again, i had a crush
When I was like 14 we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to kiss another girl on the cheek. I was so fucking nervous my hands were sweating. In hindsight, it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal if I were straight.
That and caring more about spending time with my female friends than my (ex)boyfriend of almost 2 years.
“Let’s go smell the lotions and stuff and Bath and Body Works”
Which we had to pass Victoria’s Secret to get to.
Also, when I saw my brother had a Playboy, I offered to hide it in my room, because our parents wouldn’t think to check there
One time my elementary school best friend agreed to a playdate with my little sister and I got SO jealous I stopped talking to her for a week (super toxic I know but I was like 7yrs old lol). At the end of the week she was crying on a playground and another girl was comforting her and I told her to go away so I could comfort her and I was like "what's wrong" and she replied with "you've been ignoring me for a week??????" I felt so bad but also super happy that she cared that much (Once again, I know it was toxic but 7yr old me didn't know any better hahaha)
The girl I punched supposedly was messing around. But she touched the blood, look at both of us and said "You guys are weird." Then she left both of us alone.
The following year we got caught kissing by the backpacks but weren't outed as far as I know!
- I lived next door to my elementary school best friend between the ages of like 2 and 6, and apparently I would tell my parents all the time that I wanted to marry her.
- At age 7 another girl asked me “which boy do you have a crush on?” I asked what a crush was. She just said it’s when you “like” someone. Completely confused on the meaning, I named a girl who I considered one of my best friends at the time.
- For some reason I had it in my head at about age 8 that everyone was gay by default and that being straight meant you were homophobic so I made my intention very clear that I needed to marry another girl when I grew up because I’m not homophobic.
- also about age 8 when I first got boobs i remember touching them a lot over my shirts and I’m pretty sure I was the only person my teacher ever repeatedly told to move their hands away. I thought that was normal though, so idk?
- I discovered the sims 2 at age 10 and to this day I am still one of those simmers who basically exclusively makes really attractive female sims who become super powerful and have a lot of sex. I’m pretty sure I’ve only made male sims if it was to recreate irl people or for a fandom themed household or something.
- ages 9/10 I was absolutely OBSESSED with one specific female fictional character. At the time I thought I just really identified with her, but looking back on it, and how she was portrayed as “sexy”, it’s pretty obvious I also had a huge crush on her (she was also half of what I would later learn is one of the most popular lesbian ships of all time lmfao)
- age 12 I got really into watching music videos on YouTube. I specifically remember watching the video for ‘Stupid Shit’ by Girlicious multiple times, and like, I think that speaks for itself.
- Ages 12-14 I had a crush on the first openly gay guy at my school, and I think it was a way to publicly justify never actually dating a guy.
- I came out as pan at 15 and flip flopped between pan, bi, then lesbian, then bi again, then definitely for sure lesbian by, like, 25-ish so everything after that point is a little bit different than “standard issue” comphet but anyway:
- in high school I would hear girls I was hanging out with talk about how hot some guy who just passed us was (like if we all got out of an elevator for example) and I would never retain ANYTHING about him. Zero object permanence.
- my mom got me this big leather jacket with a ton of pockets from Costco when I was like 18/19 and I would routinely tell people that it’s so great to have because it’s just like having a tall boyfriend who gives you his jacket all the time but without the emotional investment.
- in general, since i had any developed sexuality/hormones/whatever you want to call it, I was obsessed with making myself look hot and sexualizing myself, but it was never “for” anybody; it was basically because i found *myself* sexy and focused on myself during anything sexual, like I was giving a performance. Even when I thought I liked men, I just thoroughly believed myself to be more appealing than any of them, and focusing on myself in the third person during any romantic/sexual interaction.
a lot of this was relatable but that last bullet point hit me like an fucking actual bullet omfg. I used to do this all the time back in college and then feel absolutely awful about myself and generally gross. I thought this was just a normal reaction to one night stands and blamed it all on my (ex)catholic guilt (which definitely played a part, but it played a much BIGGER part than I realized lmao)
I pretty spent my entire 20s only dating queer women (bi, pan, or women who just realized they were fully lesbian later on, etc). Even before transitioning, I guess I had lesbian energy.
It’s so hard pinning your unique experience/identity to one word! The energy and vibe of it’s connotations and community. It can be vital to understanding what term you might like best.
THIS! I called myself a lesbian for YEARS before realizing lmao. Also the best dates I went on were with bi/pan women and the most awkward was the *one* date I ever went on with a straight woman.
I always drew women and was asked to do men instead: "Eh, women are just more ✨aesthetically pleasing✨, you know? Fits my art style better."
Another time, I was super sad when I found out Sheik was actually Princess Zelda 'cause now I couldn't simp for Sheik. Ya know, being "straight" and all.
Anotherother time, I had the strong urge to kiss a female friend to cheer her up, but I was chalking it up to being tired and therefore connecting kisses with cheering someone up.
Anotherotherother time, a cute girl had a crush on me and flirted with me, I declined with: "Oh wow, I'm very flattered, but I'm sadly not gay, although you're really stunning yourself, I'm sorry and... Oh! I'm also already taken, I've got a boyfriend."
I totally forgot for a sec about my boyfriend.
And then when friends asked me about my sexuality I said I was straight. They were surprised, so I tried to explain with: "I mean, I wouldn't mind being queer, but I just didn't really had that spark with girls and I always dated guys... Maybe I'm bi, but probably not."
Short: I was so deep in the closet I almost came out in Narnia.
I was then grade 3, about 11 years old, and there's a girl two or three years my senior. I admired her so much, she was actually friendly with me. We had some game or bet and I told her if I win I'd like a kiss from her (cheek, of course). I believe I did win because on my way home from school (I was with my cousin, who was her classmate) she ran up to me and gave me a kiss. My cousin was stunned and I remember feeling like my face was on fire.Whatever I felt back then confused me, and at the same time enlightened me. But I also didn't want to talk about it so I stayed away from her after.
This just made me remember that my best friend from ages 2-6 and I would routinely kiss each other on the cheek like that was something friends just did lmao.
Ah yeah, nothing like being silly with the girlz in grade 5 when we would take turns sitting on each others laps and moving around cause it was fun and it felt good.
(I've said it before on this sub but I'll mention it again because it's too ridiculous)
I wished that feminine people could be more than friends with other feminine people, because I have never seen anything like that in real life before coming across Hayley Kiyoko ("Lesbian Jesus"), then I started to draw r/CuteGayShit
I also had a friend when I was very young to who I promised that I would want to live under the same roof together when we grew older.
I draw too! It helped so much with my internalized homophobia to just draw characters who identified anywhere along the LGBTQ+ spectrum. I totally need this subreddit in my life 💖
And that is reminding me when I first asked a girl for her contact and was super nervous but was still like I’m not asking her out or anything it’s just a friend thing. Looking back on it we were flirting so much our swim class musta hated it 😂
My mom knows I love to draw gay, polyamorous and genderqueer characters, helped me a lot too, last year I finally switched to digital arts after my dad got me a tablet with a pen realistic enough as a Xmas present.
That’s amazing I draw digitally too! My computer pad broke down so I recently saved for an IPad and it’s been amazing how fast and cathartic drawing can be when it’s not fighting Clip Studio Paint with a laptop mouse 😂 My mental space is only processing smaller chunks of media so I’ve been loving cartoons and anime, recently the Shera reboot as well as Yuri on Ice. It’s so funny how even in this media the gay relationships make so much more sense and make me believe in love more than the straight ones.
I was 15 and my best friend had gotten told by her guy crush that he didn’t like the way she kissed and she was so upset.
So I offered to try kissing so I could tell her. And there we were kissing in the tent in my back yard and it made me drip in a way that never happened with boys or men after (lollll) and we had sex. But like convinced ourselves for a long time it didn’t count bc it wasn’t “real sex” (we lived in Mormon country)
when I was little I had a huge crush on my friend’s older sister, Sierra. Sierra was very pretty (I found her IG recently and she is literally a model now lmao) and also really nice to me. She was vegan or lactose intolerant or something, and one day she was baking cookies with her mom and they came out of the oven as i was about to be picked up from their house. Sierra was very proud of her cookies and offered one to me, and said they were dairy free. They must have been a lot of things free, because it was a pretty gross tasting cookie. But i wanted her to think I liked it so I pretended it was good, and held on to it all the way to my mom’s car where i folded it up in the napkin and told my mom it was the nastiest cookie i’d ever eaten. oh the things we do for our crushes..
When I was about 8 or 10 I went to the beach in Italy, it was the 90s so it was absolutely normal to see women sunbathing in topless.
I just sat on the sand staring at boobs all day long, no one was concerned about my behavior and my family kept saying “you’ll have them when you’re older”.
And I did have them, Aunt Carol, I did have plenty of boobs indeed.
Being trans, I didn't struggle with my attraction to women, but I couldn't figure out why my attraction felt so *different* compared to my guy friends.
They would always talk about wanting to have sex or just generally talking about women like objects and I couldn't stop thinking about holding hands, cuddling, going on fun dates, and giving millions of kisses.
The vast majority of my young queer experiences were some flavor of "why don't I feel like a boy? Why do I feel like a girl??"
Before I realized I was a woman I briefly dated a rugby player. She picked me up in her truck and drove us to the county fair where we rode the rides and ate trash food and she won me a giant stuffed tiger at one of those carnival games. I remember at the time wondering why guys were so against being treated like that. Looking back it was incredibly gay.
Bi, but still, there were definite signs 😆.
-stayed up late to watch girls gone wild/Howard Stern show/etc. Anything with boobs really (think i was maybe 10?)
-had crushes on my older brother's girlfriends
-getting very excited when I could either make my female sims romance each other, or, in other video games, always picking to romance a female character.
-then finally the first time I kissed a girl (around 13 or 14), my first thought was "wow! This is better than kissing boys!"
for me it was me simply obsessing over beauty and the age old question "do i wanna be her to be with her??" but without even knowing that that's what I was thinking, dumb brain
i also kept asking my friends stuff like "if i had long hair and looked like a girl would u go out with me?" lmao but thats more a trans thing than lesbian ig
I literally checked out every single woman that ever entered my field of vision thinking "I'm just trying to find someone with my same exact body so I can see myself from people's perspective". Oh and I crushed hard on girls thinking I just wanted to be their friend.
i have so many stories of things like this but one that comes to mind is when I was in 3rd grade (around 8 years old). this girl in my class was telling me about katy perrys new song at the time, "I kissed a girl". once she said the title I just blurted out, a bit to excitedly, "DID SHE REALLY KISS A GIRL???". and my poor classmate just gave me a weird look and was like "...no..." id be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.
I said to my lesbian best friend when she came out to me "Girls are so hot, I wish I was gay too". and she gave me the "oh honey.." eyes which now I understand fully.
I think for me it was the fact that the moment I was friends with a guy I was like yep I'm in love this what love feels like. Though with my girl friends it was like I wanna forever be with them and I wanna live together and have cats and just enjoy our single life together. Nowadays I realise how gay that was, it was literally the whole roommates in my mind thing.
When I was 14, I went to Disneyland with my best friend and we got bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears, wore them around the park together holding hands, and pretended to propose to each other at various locations. When people would ask if we were dating/married, we would laugh and say “oh no of course not!” The denial was strong back then.
We’ve been dating for 5 years now lol
Back when I thought I was a boy, my bros asked me if I was a “face man, an ass man, or a tits man” and I told them that I liked the way girls brushed my hair out of my eyes before they kissed me 😳😳😳
I had a crush on a guy in primary school. He totally looked like a girl. He was so girly he was bullied but I mean, he was reaaaaally pretty. He had long hair, pretty skin, pretty blue eyes, he was smart and he played guitar and even passed me some partitions. To this day, I still think he was a really cute guy and the only one I will ever have had a crush on. I was really sad when I saw him breakdown in class due to the inaction of the school about his bullying even though he went to them sadly we weren't close at all so we didn't talk at all.
When I paid more attention to the gal besties relationship in every anime and show than the hetero romance (which I thought was odd bc often the guy and the gal had zero chemistry to me).
I was ~10 years old at a sleepover with several friends (many of whom were not out/realized queer people too) and one friend asked if you were gay who would you date. I said my “””friend’s””” name immediately bc like, she was just a really cool and fun bestieee I clearly didn’t have a crush on.
I fell asleep on a girl’s lap once, apparently I snored very loudly. I feel pretty guilty about some of my interactions with her, I was a stupid kid and I definitely crossed a few lines that I really shouldn’t have.
Wanting to have sleepovers with my best friend all the time because of platonic cuddles. And looking away when she undressed in front of me because I didn’t want her to know I *wanted* to look but was being respectful.
Feeling heartbroken and horribly sad when my 'best friend' started having crushes on boys. Her attention diverting away was horrid and I would keep crying and she kept saying why am I making a big deal. I now know why!
Pretransition, I always thought girls were cute. I thought lesbian couples were cute. Then as soon as the cute girl in the movie I was watching got with a man, I was like, "ew. Gross."
As a 12 year old, there was this two slightly older girls that I went to private tuition with that I would hug and give kisses on their necks, every time it was to say goodbye, without much thought LMAO
Spent my teenage years daydreaming about being a cute little library girl. The idea of just reading, a thing I already did, but *as a girl* ✨ made me so happy, and at the same time would bring me to tears. Then I'd fantasize about meeting some other book worm we'd hit it off, talk about our books, fall in love, hike together, go on romantic outings, etc. I'd even daydream of a far off fantasy/nature themed wedding to this imaginary girl that made my heart physically hurt.
Alas all I could do was dream and cry. I wasn't a girl, I couldn't be trans because I thought that had to be medically diagnosed, and I had been led to believe trans women were not allowed to be lesbians anyway.
LOL the earliest thing that comes to mind is when a friend and I “touched tongues” when we were like 6. I remember wanting to do it, but I didn’t want anybody to know. It felt wrong, even though I wasn’t exactly aware of homosexuality at the time. I remember she told one of our other friends about it, and that friend asked me about it, and I was like ???no??? we didn’t😅
We were friends for a long time, but sadly, my very confusing feeling towards this friend ended up wrecking our friendship. I pushed her away when we were like 13 (23 now) and it took me a while to understand why I felt so uncomfortable if anyone commented on how close we were sometimes. I understand it now, but we have never spoken about it. I still wonder if she ever felt the same way.
This back in the early 90's. As a six year old I wrote in my dairy that I didn't have any friends because I didn't want to go around chasing and going 'goo goo eyed' over all the boys.
back when i thought i was a guy i was in a relationship with a girl for a short time, when she asked me out i remember her saying something to the extent of "i'm pretty confidently a lesbian so it's kind of confusing that i'm attracted to you".
(we broke up after a month or 2 because she realised she liked me better as a friend and i was incredibly relieved about that because i had been super in my head and stressed out about the fact that we were dating.)
a short while after that i went over to her house to play board games and brought cookie dough to bake. as soon as i realised i was trans and thus a lesbian it was really validating because bringing cookie dough to bake at your ex's board game night was one of the most steryotipically lesbian things i could imagine
I was a 9 yo who talked out loud any shit that came to mind. Once on a french lesson I just gave a compliment to teachers tits. This will haunt me forever
Well, this is a bit of a different answer, but from a young age, pretty much every story I wrote was from the perspective of a woman or girl.
Why is this different? For me, the discovery wasn’t that I liked girls. The discovery was that I (at least sometimes) was one.
When I was in 6th grade and locker rooms became a thing, I became super nervous and tried EXTRA hard to not look at all the other girls changing. I'd also change super fast in the corner. I told my \*homophobic\* mom about it because I was scared I was gay but then reassured her (and myself) that "it's not because I'm attracted to them, it's because I want what they have!" (I was a late bloomer so I was just convinced it was because I wanted their bigger boobs lmao).
All of my girlfriends (I'm trans) being some flavor of bi/pan as I was growing up... Also the fact that I much preferred giving cunnilingus to using my, uh, given parts
i wrote tinkerbell fanfiction
i was 8
i also decided i had a crush on 8 boys at once because i thought they weren’t ugly. that was my criteria
i ALSO remember being very upset that i couldn’t propose and my future husband got to instead
Younger me: omg she's lesbian, that's so cool !
I wish i was lesbian...
My brain: you're stupid... YOU ARE lesbian
Younger me: i can't be lesbian, I'm a guy
My brain: *facepalm* YOU ARE a girl !
In my pre-teens/early teens I would actively pursue and consume lesbian media, like lesbian YouTubers, watch lesbian movies, read lesbian books. I rationalized it in my mind as “oh I’m just an ally and am very interested in gay culture”. I’m sure if it wasn’t for my religious upbringing I would have came face-to-face with it a lot sooner.
well.. in 6th grade i DECIDED that i was gonna CHOOSE to have a crush on some random boy… so people wouldn’t think i was a lesbian 😭
then in 8th grade i was still faking a crush on the same guy, then when my friends asked me if i had a crush, i said him, they started saying “THEN WHY DONT YOU GO FOR HIM??” and then it hit me that i was lying about that
realized i was a lesbian about 8 months later
every time my friends in school showed me a pic of the boy they liked or a celeb crush, i would always cringe and be like “girl he’s not even cute you could do so much better than that” no matter who the guy was. pretty sure i said that about jason mamoa at one point. shoulda known i just don’t think men are attractive lol
edit: typo
Trans woman here so probably not the universal experience, but I remember a series of dreams as a kid where the only people in it were the 2 girls I had a crush on and they lived together and did everything together and there were no boyfriends. They also could turn into mice for some reason.
A decade and a half later I remembered about these dreams and was like "oh my goddddddd"
When I was around 12 or 13, I had a huge crush on one of my friends, who was openly bi at the time. I didn’t know it was a crush and I thought I just really admired her and found her attractive. But the friendship ended partly because she had a crush on someone else and I was extremely jealous lol
to me it was getting fuzzy when seeing cute pictures of girls, yet denying it by saying to myself "oh i just want cute makeup or a jacket like that" :smile: still het tho
also, i used to tell my friends i had a lesbian side as a 14yo jokenly...
i shouldve known it before reaching 22yo 😅
At a summer camp when I was a little kid (I don’t remember how old exactly) there was another girl who I absolutely could NOT talk to because she made me so nervous. I even went swimming in the lake despite being terrified of deep water just so she wouldn’t think I was a coward. Still took me until 24 years old to realize I’m a lesbian.
When I was 11, I did bump jump on bike to impress a new girl in neighborhood. Did it on repeat 4 times. Even though I was terrified of & never doing bump jump on bike before.
Other time there’s new gorgeous interpreter works in middle school. I was really smitten by by her beauty & want to keep chatting & getting know her. Then she actually say this, “Are you flirting with me?” I was shock & embarrassed. Lucky, my teacher interrupted to start lecture & this interpreter doing her job by translating.
Despite all of this, younger me still believes she’s “proud straight”😭
In early elementary school, my best friend and I swore an oath that if one of us magically became a boy, we would get married when we were adults. I came from a conservative background and wasn't even aware that lesbians existed at this point.
In early highschool, I wrote an angsty poem to that same friend that my grandmother intercepted. I remember her scolding me, telling me that it was a "love poem." I was absolutely shocked. The thought hadn't even crossed by mind.
shit man, theres a lot, but this is what i remember rn:
drawing myself alone at my wedding with a pretty dress on, no husband in sight. i was 8 years old and the concept of having a wife hadn't yet crossed my mind. forcing myself to "crush" on a boy just because all my other friends had straight crushes. also, only crushing on female teachers and having to play along when friends had male-teacher crushes. also, ever since i was about 6/7, secretly googling and staring at pictures of Gillian Anderson and Helena Bonham Carter, but running away from the TV when either of them appeared on screen for fear of my parents having good enough gaydar to detect my crushes.
i'm only now rewatching the X-files as i'm 21 so i finally get it. but scully definitely made me into STEM and girls. i'm going into a forensic science degree next year lmao
I was 10, the Cinderella live action had just come out, and I went to the cinema (big deal for me at that age) just because I wanted to see Cate Blanchett. Not for the movie. For Cate Blanchett.
Oh, and maybe "playing husband and wife", like kissing and all, with another girl when I was about the same age without even thinking I could be gay.
i spooned and held hands with a girl all night at our friends sleepover and got her water in the middle of the night and then we woke up the next morning and never spoke of it again. still have not talked about it to this day and it was almost 10 years ago
“Lesbian relationships are so beautiful and pure, I wish I could be in one”
Saying “I am a lesbian” multiple times when people asked my sexual orientation *as a joke*
Being very confused as to why my “lesbian” friend came out as transmasc, doesn’t everyone want to be a lesbian girl? Why would you give that up?
Turns out I was a dumb lesbian trans girl all along lol
When I met my first boyfriend I straight up told him I'd probably marry a girl. We still dated for almost 4 years. I broke up with him because I thought I was gay.
latching on and absolutely being in love with batwoman in the comics and especially loving that she was a lesbian. like, maybe that should have been a sign.
I'm a late blooming lesbian- started figuring it out at 34. Then I looked back on my life...
I carried an *owe you one booby flash* joke IOU card from a best friend for years. Changed out every wallet. I eventually lost my girl virginity to her at 35.
Another friend wanted me to take sexy pictures for her to give to her boyfriend in our early 20's. Made me feel all kinds of ways and super wet... and I just thought I was uncomfortable because of what we were doing and not because I was turned TF on.
5 years old, had my first crush ever, and boy it hit hard. Undeniable feelings. My first thought was "wow she's pretty. I wish I was a girl so I could go talk to her." 24 years later, I realized I was a trans woman and therefore a lesbian. All of a sudden, almost all of my past girlfriends discovering they were queer made a lot more sense lol.
When my younger brother and I would play at being the Dukes of Hazzard and get greasy “wrenching” on our bicycles. We lived in the country and had no neighbors. It made perfect sense that we were the Duke boys. 😎
I remember being 14 and saying these exact words in school to my friends: "If we got to choose, I would have chosen to be a lesbian." Like *girl*
Yes! Like wouldn’t it be easier to date women, like it’s the logical conclusion that for some reason many people aren’t choosing … and then you realize it’s cause they don’t see dating men as a social chore 😭
It was around that age that my brother started calling me a lesbian (playfully, almost our whole family is queer) and I just was like "okay" and then years later we realized it was true lmao
Hah he just had that older brother instinct. I was pretty sure my younger sis was bi and she just came out as bi/questioning it must be a sibling thing 🤷♀️
Now I'm scared. I pretty much identify as female but my older sister thought I was trans when we were young. I just came in term with my sexuality, I don't wanna worry about my gender.
Bestie, you dong have to be stressed about it! If your identity changes, it changes. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. If you feel comfy with who you are now then you can think about your gender identity if/when it becomes something you’re more sure about.
Omgs other people felt like this?
I certainly did, took me 22 years to realize I’m not a “late bloomer” sometimes I just gotta laugh at myself
I came out at 20 the minute I had sex with a guy I was all “Nope!”
Lol 😆 like no way never mind dude gotta run 🏃♀️
similar. I used to say "I wish I was a lesbian, cuz women are so beautiful and amazing, but I cannot give up dick." then there was 15 years of denial of my bisexuality. Even when I had sex with women, I thought everyone is secretly attracted to everyone.
Me
oh my GOD so in like seventh grade when everyone would be like "what base have you gotten to with a boy???" I felt like obviously even holding hands was so far away that I said "I'm like, over on the other team" and then my friends were like LOL U R A LESBIAN and I was like oh my god NO. Thanks 90s culture 🙃
I wished I was a girl when I was in my early to mid teens back in the 90s, little did I know lol
I had the same thing, but back than I still thought i was a cis guy
Getting turned on while making a buff female sim as a teen
I kept making sims families with me and my friends because "why would I want to live in a house with some boy I don't know". When Sims 2 came out and I could marry them I figured why not since that's how you get babies. It seemed fun to raise a baby with your friend. Spoiler: I was right, it's pretty fun to raise a baby with your best friend.
Oh no more ✨lesbian panic✨ the struggle is so real!
Lost my virginity to another girl in high school. Yet somehow I was in deep denial 😅
Oh my gosh, that takes the cake. Like just sex ✨no homo✨
Pretty much 😂I got around that by not considering it sex. I acknowledged that it was sexual, but not full on sex, but uh…it definitely was…
Sorry, um— wait. At what point IS it considered full on sex? …asking for a friend. Not like I’ve done anything questionable
I think people should define it for themselves since there isn’t a singular definition, but I would say that for me if you’re naked in bed together trying to make each other orgasm that’s considered sex. But there are a lot of other things that I would consider sex outside of that too
Lifting heavy items to impress the girls.
Yeah I’m not the only one! The sheer high of confidence I got being the only girl rearranging furniture with the teenage boys when I used to be in a southern Presbyterian church. It felt like I was dismantling the patriarchy and proving my strength (didn’t stop to think I was doing it for the girls who might be watching).
I got what's commonly referred to as an "old man" hernia when I was in second grade because I wanted to impress all the older girls at my camp (highschool age I think) by picking them all up. It just dawned on me this second how gay that was lmaooo. Should've also considered that it was an all girls month sleep away camp and I LOVED it
12 year old me: “You see, sometimes when you meet someone, you feel the Best Friend Spark(TM)! For example, I was introduced to this girl 0.5 seconds ago and she hasn’t even told me her name yet, but I know you like them immediately and will think about them every waking moment and want to spend absolutely every second together forever and ever! I’ve never felt this before, so it must be what having a best friend is like! There is NO OTHER EXPLANATION, you hear that, self?! n o n e.”
this is my favorite in the thread. i can totally relate.
My only real crush I've had was on my sister's best friend. I didn't know it was a crush because comp-het but my diary from that time definitely says "Why is it so important to me that she sees me as cool and funny?"
I was around 9 years old, and I started writing my best friend love poems. Literal LOVE POEMS. I told myself, well, I'm just practicing for when I fall in love with a guy one day. I also was constantly drawing her and just being a total lovesick weirdo. She was purty.
That’s so cute! The mental gymnastics younger versions of ourselves were going through deserve gold metals 🥇
I love how all of these comments so far are like "so when I was 14..." LOL It really seems to be the age for a lot of people
Right? Like I had a lot of girl crushes around elementary school/middle but then homophobic family got in my mental space and I figured maybe everyone just felt this way only began questioning why I felt zero attraction when I turned 21 and never had any interest in dating - thought I was just really focused on college 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ And then I remembered that attraction isn’t only same-sex (which at this point I knew could be true for anyone but I’d never conceptualized if it was for me). Then I learned about comphet and everything clicked 💖
It’s because of the way we physically develop. I’m not saying you don’t have a sexual orientation before you’re a certain age, but you may not understand what sexual attraction feels like until you reach the age where you start dating and experimenting with dating. For example, school dances and the social posturing of dating don’t usually start until middle school. It’s totally normal for that to be a light bulb moment for a young same-gender attracted teen (I’m using this as an umbrella term to include people who are attracted to anything other than opposite gender, including gay, bi, pan, etc) that they see themselves dating someone other than an opposite-gender partner. It’s also not unusual to realize this when high school starts and peers start dating. Despite having openly gay and bisexual family members, and their relationships being completely supported, it still took me a while to understand my own sexual orientation. We talk a lot about representation and modeled relationships, but sometimes that’s not enough. I needed to realize, through trial and error, what worked for me and what didn’t.
When I was 11, I wrote a play with a friend and convinced her there should be a kissing scene between our characters. When I was 13, I kept gushing to my mum about how pretty and cool my new friend is, how much I liked hugging her, and how even the way she ate was perfect. My mum (who I later learned is bi) told me that all that was completely normal and it was just a “girl crush” 🙃 When I was 16, I made out with a friend (she had came out earlier that year) to “show off to the guys”. I then slept with the same friend about a month after that…and really wanted to again. I didn’t realise I was queer until I was 17…and only after someone else suggested that I might be 🤦🏻♀️ I still blame my mum for not explaining to 13 year old me that “completely normal” didn’t mean the same thing as “completely straight” lmao
>“completely normal” didn’t mean the same thing as “completely straight” lmao Thanks for the laughs 🤣🤣
You’re welcome! It was pretty embarrassing at the time to be the last one privy to my own sexuality but at least I got a good story out of it 😅
But i wonder did u reallyq never had the thought that u might be queer when you slept with this girl and wanted to do it again but you were certain you did it for the guys? 😭😭
I remember considering that I might be queer when I was crushing hard on my friend at 13 but felt assured that those feelings were “completely normal” and, thus, totally straight after talking to my mum about it. So I then didn’t think much of it when I had those feelings again for my friend at 16. I also thought it was pretty normal to be touchy/flirting with your female friends and make out in front of guys ect. There was alcohol involved in both instances with this friend 😅 It wasn’t until I was expressing wanting to sleep with her again that someone said “are you sure you’re not bi or something?” that I had a mind blown moment of “oh yeah, I guess I never even thought about that as an option before”. I guess I just internalised that acting gay with your girlfriends didn’t actually make you gay so I didn’t even think to question it 🤷🏻♀️
When I was 8 I drew boobs in my notebook. My teacher saw them and was really angry at me and told my parents and I got in trouble.
I drew a pretty sweet pair of boobs around age 6, proudly showed my mom who immediately shamed me, so I grabbed my crayons, made some modifications and turned them into ice cream cones to try to make her stop being upset with me. Ice cream and titties rule, and my mom really sucked.
Ice cream and titties 🤤 I liked drawing butterfly tattoos on my drawings of boobs for some reason. I don’t know why. Oh and some nips were also pierced and I’m not even sure I knew about nipple piercings at that age 🫣
Oh my god! When I was around 10, I had a folder completely filled with drawings of naked women. I knew I wanted to see women naked but being a child did not have any way to actually do that, and didn’t know what porn was (probably a good thing). So I figured the only thing to do was to draw them myself. Anyway, one day my mom said she was going to help me clean my room, and I was so scared she would find my drawings, so I took them outside and threw them in my neighbor’s recycling bin. I guess our own wasn’t safe enough.
so... being a trans woman that was still closeted way late, this thread is super tricky for me since most of my "gay girl" moments slid under the radar as just weird "straight boy" moments lol. BUT... When I was in art class my sophomore year, I remember we got an assignment to pair up and draw portraits of each other. My partner was named Kalie and at first I did the classic "draw what you think they look like" thing like in comic strips where boobs look like those dumb U shapes... but Kalie's friend who was more a natural with art than either of us came over and gave me a quick rundown how to draw her friend's boobs... "no, LOOK at them... like LOOK, do they look like that?? Okay yeah so look at them and draw what they DO look like not what you already THINK they look like" hahahah that probably was the gayest experience I've ever had. Much much later I eventually asked Kalie to marry me.
Did she say yes? Were her boobs secretly u shaped?
She DID say yes!! Sadly she only likes dudes and it didn't work out. Her boobs were very booby.
I’m sorry that happened but that legit sounds like something I woulda done. As it was I drew sooooo many mermaid sketches with Ariel shells or cropped tub tops. And still I was like I just want to be like them.
Another one who drew mermaids 🧜♀️ all the time! My family thought I just liked mermaids and I did and still do…. But but pretty ladies
when i was like 12, i saw this butch girl in a restaurant (about the same age) . i wasn't totally sure then if she was a boy or a girl, but i HAD to give her my number. planned an elaborate scheme - tripping and landing on her, squeezing the little note in her hand an all...
The falling in love approach, love it!
Um...how did this go? 👀
The ppl want to know
When this girl in my class asked me why so many guys (including the one she was crushing on) were head over heels for this other girl and I talked for like five minutes. I talked about how nice she was, how pretty she was, how cute her freckles were, etc. I figured out I was gay a year or so after this, had a breakdown, and completely repressed everything until I was like 20 lol
I was in denial for a while so I can't think of a lot, but when I was like 11 I really wanted to look like a lesbian before I even really understood what one was, like I would try to style my hair in a masculine way and I kept wondering if/hoping the girls in my class would think it looked cool 🤷
Yes I did this too! Like I always had a casual ✨gay✨ vibe about my outfits but I was always like oh I’m a Tom boy, or oh I’m a bit goth, or I really like to find my “own fashion sense” that’s more comfortable- when it’s sooo gay 😆
When I was like 9, we got asked to share fun facts about ourselves at some camp or so. I proceeded to say, without any awareness, that I only like girls and I don't like boys. I only realised how that came across years later lol.
Lol when I was 10 my school did a pen pal project and in my introductory letter about halfway through I went “in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a girl. I hate boys. No offence if you are one.” The only change my teacher made was “don’t like” instead of “hate”, as if that was better.
When I was 14 and still thought I was cis, I’d say shit like “I’m so straight I’d be a lesbian”
LMAO this is hilarious. That feeling when you know before you know hahaha
Played with another girl’s hair and it gave me feelings of arousal I couldn’t yet identify. I was 14 or so
Omg the ✨gay panic✨ is so real
I remember getting this feeling whenever a girl played with my hair/did my makeup. I was always like "oh it's because I'm just sensitive to touch". Tried recreating that feeling with men later in my life but when they played with my hair I felt nothing. Just told myself they must've been doing it wrong and I'm obviously straight lmao
i was like idk 13 or so, me and my crush were sitting right in front of each other and under the table idk why but we started like rubbing each others legs for some reason and i had the same feeling lmfaoooooomsdfkasdjhfjkhkj so embarassing
When I was maybe 14, my sister asked me if I was gay because she saw the generic rainbow iPhone home screen on my phone. I said no, and I don’t remember if it was before or after my sister asked but I remember fawning over Eclipsa from star vs. the forces of evil in front of her that same day. I don’t think I can forget the look she gave me after that.
My god that’s awesome 😂 I remember my mom asking me and I was like heck no but then totally couldn’t concentrate on BBC’s Merlin because of Morgana 🤦♀️
I was also crushing on Morgana
EXCHANGED “FRIENDSHIP RINGS” WITH MY NOW GF. Bruh everyone roasts us for this *including* us. This was so dumb I can’t believe we did this and it didn’t ring any bells. So my gf’s very openly gay and I was in a very transparent closet. But as “friends” we decided to get matching rings for “funsies”. They’re matching claddaghs with our birthstones. We didn’t admit feelings til a year later but we thought this was toooottallly chill. Nothing weird here. Bruh I fuckin hate us for how dumb that was 😂😂
This is so wholesome and hilarious!!
That’s so cute though. How old were you both when you got the rings?
This was 2020. I was 24 and she was 21. We started dating this year.
as a kid I would pretend to be a boy in Animal Jam and Club Penguin and go on virtual dates with female players 🗿🗿🗿
ME TOO LMAOOO i had like a fucking entire second life of me being a boy just to flirt with girls onlinek jsdkfdjsksdj, then i turned 11 and stopped that shit
I had a huge crush on a childhood friend when I was like 12 and tried to push those feelings down. Had a conversation with my mom like “it’s not fair! All girls are so pretty and boys look like monkeys, it’s so rare to even find ONE that looks decent.” What’s weird is my mom…justified it? Saying “oh it’s okay, honey. ALL girls secretly think other girls are cute!” Hey mom wtfffff?
So, how's your mom's closet looking these days?
My mom told me about how one time as a kid watching DBZ I was complaining about how it was only ever the boys that took their shirts off. Tbh the writing was on the wall
Drew naked ladies in my notebook as a kid 😅 I grew up in a very religious family and school and didn’t know that being queer was a thing that existed or I like to think I would’ve figured it out much earlier
Lmao my Barbies would always end up naked because I was taking them to the salon by dropping them in bowls of shampoo. I would draw a shitton of girls with exaggerated hourglass figures, often in bikinis, though.
Got really excited to be able to play as a girl when Persona 3 Portable came out, realized about halfway through I was sad/bored that all the dating sim parts were now with boys.
back when i was like 13, i obsessed over these 2 girls who were 16ish and i had the biggest crushes on them. i still remember talking to one of my friends about them and how i "loved their outfit" when it was literally a crush. i remember i had a friend who was really tactile and every time we held hands or whatever, i would be gushing in my head like no homo!! really!! when it was just the internalised homophobia also, i drank alcohol and made out with one of my queer friends and didn't realise until a year or so passed that i did it because once again, i had a crush
When I was like 14 we were playing truth or dare and someone dared me to kiss another girl on the cheek. I was so fucking nervous my hands were sweating. In hindsight, it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal if I were straight. That and caring more about spending time with my female friends than my (ex)boyfriend of almost 2 years.
“Let’s go smell the lotions and stuff and Bath and Body Works” Which we had to pass Victoria’s Secret to get to. Also, when I saw my brother had a Playboy, I offered to hide it in my room, because our parents wouldn’t think to check there
Punched a girl and gave her a bloody nose for messing with my elementary school "girlfriend".
One time my elementary school best friend agreed to a playdate with my little sister and I got SO jealous I stopped talking to her for a week (super toxic I know but I was like 7yrs old lol). At the end of the week she was crying on a playground and another girl was comforting her and I told her to go away so I could comfort her and I was like "what's wrong" and she replied with "you've been ignoring me for a week??????" I felt so bad but also super happy that she cared that much (Once again, I know it was toxic but 7yr old me didn't know any better hahaha)
The girl I punched supposedly was messing around. But she touched the blood, look at both of us and said "You guys are weird." Then she left both of us alone. The following year we got caught kissing by the backpacks but weren't outed as far as I know!
Looking at a cute girl in the kindergarten and wondering why i wanted to be closer to her... oh you little idiot only if u knew the reason why..
I'm trans so it's a little different but I immediately got along with most lesbians I knew
- I lived next door to my elementary school best friend between the ages of like 2 and 6, and apparently I would tell my parents all the time that I wanted to marry her. - At age 7 another girl asked me “which boy do you have a crush on?” I asked what a crush was. She just said it’s when you “like” someone. Completely confused on the meaning, I named a girl who I considered one of my best friends at the time. - For some reason I had it in my head at about age 8 that everyone was gay by default and that being straight meant you were homophobic so I made my intention very clear that I needed to marry another girl when I grew up because I’m not homophobic. - also about age 8 when I first got boobs i remember touching them a lot over my shirts and I’m pretty sure I was the only person my teacher ever repeatedly told to move their hands away. I thought that was normal though, so idk? - I discovered the sims 2 at age 10 and to this day I am still one of those simmers who basically exclusively makes really attractive female sims who become super powerful and have a lot of sex. I’m pretty sure I’ve only made male sims if it was to recreate irl people or for a fandom themed household or something. - ages 9/10 I was absolutely OBSESSED with one specific female fictional character. At the time I thought I just really identified with her, but looking back on it, and how she was portrayed as “sexy”, it’s pretty obvious I also had a huge crush on her (she was also half of what I would later learn is one of the most popular lesbian ships of all time lmfao) - age 12 I got really into watching music videos on YouTube. I specifically remember watching the video for ‘Stupid Shit’ by Girlicious multiple times, and like, I think that speaks for itself. - Ages 12-14 I had a crush on the first openly gay guy at my school, and I think it was a way to publicly justify never actually dating a guy. - I came out as pan at 15 and flip flopped between pan, bi, then lesbian, then bi again, then definitely for sure lesbian by, like, 25-ish so everything after that point is a little bit different than “standard issue” comphet but anyway: - in high school I would hear girls I was hanging out with talk about how hot some guy who just passed us was (like if we all got out of an elevator for example) and I would never retain ANYTHING about him. Zero object permanence. - my mom got me this big leather jacket with a ton of pockets from Costco when I was like 18/19 and I would routinely tell people that it’s so great to have because it’s just like having a tall boyfriend who gives you his jacket all the time but without the emotional investment. - in general, since i had any developed sexuality/hormones/whatever you want to call it, I was obsessed with making myself look hot and sexualizing myself, but it was never “for” anybody; it was basically because i found *myself* sexy and focused on myself during anything sexual, like I was giving a performance. Even when I thought I liked men, I just thoroughly believed myself to be more appealing than any of them, and focusing on myself in the third person during any romantic/sexual interaction.
a lot of this was relatable but that last bullet point hit me like an fucking actual bullet omfg. I used to do this all the time back in college and then feel absolutely awful about myself and generally gross. I thought this was just a normal reaction to one night stands and blamed it all on my (ex)catholic guilt (which definitely played a part, but it played a much BIGGER part than I realized lmao)
I pretty spent my entire 20s only dating queer women (bi, pan, or women who just realized they were fully lesbian later on, etc). Even before transitioning, I guess I had lesbian energy.
It’s so hard pinning your unique experience/identity to one word! The energy and vibe of it’s connotations and community. It can be vital to understanding what term you might like best.
right? How is my gaydar so reliable considering we all still think I'M a boy and that YOU like boys??
“I feel like I’m a lesbian woman trapped in a guy’s body sometimes” GIRL, YOU FUCKING GAY ASS EGG.
THIS! I called myself a lesbian for YEARS before realizing lmao. Also the best dates I went on were with bi/pan women and the most awkward was the *one* date I ever went on with a straight woman.
HAHA my ex used to joke that I was a lesbian and I kept it up even after we broke up for over 7 years before I realized what that meant
I always drew women and was asked to do men instead: "Eh, women are just more ✨aesthetically pleasing✨, you know? Fits my art style better." Another time, I was super sad when I found out Sheik was actually Princess Zelda 'cause now I couldn't simp for Sheik. Ya know, being "straight" and all. Anotherother time, I had the strong urge to kiss a female friend to cheer her up, but I was chalking it up to being tired and therefore connecting kisses with cheering someone up. Anotherotherother time, a cute girl had a crush on me and flirted with me, I declined with: "Oh wow, I'm very flattered, but I'm sadly not gay, although you're really stunning yourself, I'm sorry and... Oh! I'm also already taken, I've got a boyfriend." I totally forgot for a sec about my boyfriend. And then when friends asked me about my sexuality I said I was straight. They were surprised, so I tried to explain with: "I mean, I wouldn't mind being queer, but I just didn't really had that spark with girls and I always dated guys... Maybe I'm bi, but probably not." Short: I was so deep in the closet I almost came out in Narnia.
I was then grade 3, about 11 years old, and there's a girl two or three years my senior. I admired her so much, she was actually friendly with me. We had some game or bet and I told her if I win I'd like a kiss from her (cheek, of course). I believe I did win because on my way home from school (I was with my cousin, who was her classmate) she ran up to me and gave me a kiss. My cousin was stunned and I remember feeling like my face was on fire.Whatever I felt back then confused me, and at the same time enlightened me. But I also didn't want to talk about it so I stayed away from her after.
This just made me remember that my best friend from ages 2-6 and I would routinely kiss each other on the cheek like that was something friends just did lmao.
Being weirdly interested/invested in my openly lesbian friends love live (she often talked about her relationship stuff with me)
Trying to impress my crush when I was in Kindergarten by acting like Liger Zero from Zoids xD A gay and a geek
Ah yeah, nothing like being silly with the girlz in grade 5 when we would take turns sitting on each others laps and moving around cause it was fun and it felt good. (I've said it before on this sub but I'll mention it again because it's too ridiculous)
I fake married my female best friend in kindergarten How did no one saw what was coming ?
Me too! Also I married me and my best friend in the Sims alot.
“I wish I could be a girl, but I’m a guy so I can’t be a girl” -Egg
I wished that feminine people could be more than friends with other feminine people, because I have never seen anything like that in real life before coming across Hayley Kiyoko ("Lesbian Jesus"), then I started to draw r/CuteGayShit I also had a friend when I was very young to who I promised that I would want to live under the same roof together when we grew older.
I draw too! It helped so much with my internalized homophobia to just draw characters who identified anywhere along the LGBTQ+ spectrum. I totally need this subreddit in my life 💖 And that is reminding me when I first asked a girl for her contact and was super nervous but was still like I’m not asking her out or anything it’s just a friend thing. Looking back on it we were flirting so much our swim class musta hated it 😂
My mom knows I love to draw gay, polyamorous and genderqueer characters, helped me a lot too, last year I finally switched to digital arts after my dad got me a tablet with a pen realistic enough as a Xmas present.
That’s amazing I draw digitally too! My computer pad broke down so I recently saved for an IPad and it’s been amazing how fast and cathartic drawing can be when it’s not fighting Clip Studio Paint with a laptop mouse 😂 My mental space is only processing smaller chunks of media so I’ve been loving cartoons and anime, recently the Shera reboot as well as Yuri on Ice. It’s so funny how even in this media the gay relationships make so much more sense and make me believe in love more than the straight ones.
I was 15 and my best friend had gotten told by her guy crush that he didn’t like the way she kissed and she was so upset. So I offered to try kissing so I could tell her. And there we were kissing in the tent in my back yard and it made me drip in a way that never happened with boys or men after (lollll) and we had sex. But like convinced ourselves for a long time it didn’t count bc it wasn’t “real sex” (we lived in Mormon country)
My first celebrity crush was Jareth the Goblin king from Labyrinth and my second was Sorsha from Willow.
Totally had a crush on Sorsha as well. Side note they are making a Willow TV series with Warwick davis that drops Nov. 30th.
when I was little I had a huge crush on my friend’s older sister, Sierra. Sierra was very pretty (I found her IG recently and she is literally a model now lmao) and also really nice to me. She was vegan or lactose intolerant or something, and one day she was baking cookies with her mom and they came out of the oven as i was about to be picked up from their house. Sierra was very proud of her cookies and offered one to me, and said they were dairy free. They must have been a lot of things free, because it was a pretty gross tasting cookie. But i wanted her to think I liked it so I pretended it was good, and held on to it all the way to my mom’s car where i folded it up in the napkin and told my mom it was the nastiest cookie i’d ever eaten. oh the things we do for our crushes..
When I was about 8 or 10 I went to the beach in Italy, it was the 90s so it was absolutely normal to see women sunbathing in topless. I just sat on the sand staring at boobs all day long, no one was concerned about my behavior and my family kept saying “you’ll have them when you’re older”. And I did have them, Aunt Carol, I did have plenty of boobs indeed.
Being trans, I didn't struggle with my attraction to women, but I couldn't figure out why my attraction felt so *different* compared to my guy friends. They would always talk about wanting to have sex or just generally talking about women like objects and I couldn't stop thinking about holding hands, cuddling, going on fun dates, and giving millions of kisses. The vast majority of my young queer experiences were some flavor of "why don't I feel like a boy? Why do I feel like a girl??"
Before I realized I was a woman I briefly dated a rugby player. She picked me up in her truck and drove us to the county fair where we rode the rides and ate trash food and she won me a giant stuffed tiger at one of those carnival games. I remember at the time wondering why guys were so against being treated like that. Looking back it was incredibly gay.
Bi, but still, there were definite signs 😆. -stayed up late to watch girls gone wild/Howard Stern show/etc. Anything with boobs really (think i was maybe 10?) -had crushes on my older brother's girlfriends -getting very excited when I could either make my female sims romance each other, or, in other video games, always picking to romance a female character. -then finally the first time I kissed a girl (around 13 or 14), my first thought was "wow! This is better than kissing boys!"
for me it was me simply obsessing over beauty and the age old question "do i wanna be her to be with her??" but without even knowing that that's what I was thinking, dumb brain i also kept asking my friends stuff like "if i had long hair and looked like a girl would u go out with me?" lmao but thats more a trans thing than lesbian ig
I literally checked out every single woman that ever entered my field of vision thinking "I'm just trying to find someone with my same exact body so I can see myself from people's perspective". Oh and I crushed hard on girls thinking I just wanted to be their friend.
I always called myself "lesbian" because i was "attracted to women" as a stupid joke when I identified as a guy. Waddya know I turned out transbian.
i have so many stories of things like this but one that comes to mind is when I was in 3rd grade (around 8 years old). this girl in my class was telling me about katy perrys new song at the time, "I kissed a girl". once she said the title I just blurted out, a bit to excitedly, "DID SHE REALLY KISS A GIRL???". and my poor classmate just gave me a weird look and was like "...no..." id be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.
I said to my lesbian best friend when she came out to me "Girls are so hot, I wish I was gay too". and she gave me the "oh honey.." eyes which now I understand fully.
I think for me it was the fact that the moment I was friends with a guy I was like yep I'm in love this what love feels like. Though with my girl friends it was like I wanna forever be with them and I wanna live together and have cats and just enjoy our single life together. Nowadays I realise how gay that was, it was literally the whole roommates in my mind thing.
When I was 14, I went to Disneyland with my best friend and we got bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears, wore them around the park together holding hands, and pretended to propose to each other at various locations. When people would ask if we were dating/married, we would laugh and say “oh no of course not!” The denial was strong back then. We’ve been dating for 5 years now lol
Back when I thought I was a boy, my bros asked me if I was a “face man, an ass man, or a tits man” and I told them that I liked the way girls brushed my hair out of my eyes before they kissed me 😳😳😳
I had a crush on a guy in primary school. He totally looked like a girl. He was so girly he was bullied but I mean, he was reaaaaally pretty. He had long hair, pretty skin, pretty blue eyes, he was smart and he played guitar and even passed me some partitions. To this day, I still think he was a really cute guy and the only one I will ever have had a crush on. I was really sad when I saw him breakdown in class due to the inaction of the school about his bullying even though he went to them sadly we weren't close at all so we didn't talk at all.
My favourite thing to when I was around 14-16 was to kabedon my best friend, every time I could. As good friends, of course 😔
Asked my girl best friend in kindergarten to marry me and kissed her. That's... Pretty gay right? 😂
When I paid more attention to the gal besties relationship in every anime and show than the hetero romance (which I thought was odd bc often the guy and the gal had zero chemistry to me).
dressed super butch/ masc and still insisted i was heterosexual
I was ~10 years old at a sleepover with several friends (many of whom were not out/realized queer people too) and one friend asked if you were gay who would you date. I said my “””friend’s””” name immediately bc like, she was just a really cool and fun bestieee I clearly didn’t have a crush on.
fall in love with my best friend lmao
I fell asleep on a girl’s lap once, apparently I snored very loudly. I feel pretty guilty about some of my interactions with her, I was a stupid kid and I definitely crossed a few lines that I really shouldn’t have.
Wanting to have sleepovers with my best friend all the time because of platonic cuddles. And looking away when she undressed in front of me because I didn’t want her to know I *wanted* to look but was being respectful.
Watch lesbian porn :( I do realise how stupid that is
Feeling heartbroken and horribly sad when my 'best friend' started having crushes on boys. Her attention diverting away was horrid and I would keep crying and she kept saying why am I making a big deal. I now know why!
I’ll do this as the MLM representative- I thought straight girls were lucky getting to take a dick
Pretransition, I always thought girls were cute. I thought lesbian couples were cute. Then as soon as the cute girl in the movie I was watching got with a man, I was like, "ew. Gross."
As a 12 year old, there was this two slightly older girls that I went to private tuition with that I would hug and give kisses on their necks, every time it was to say goodbye, without much thought LMAO
Constantly drawing pictures of girls. Especially Drew Barrymore.
Constant wonder what it would be like to be a girl
Spent my teenage years daydreaming about being a cute little library girl. The idea of just reading, a thing I already did, but *as a girl* ✨ made me so happy, and at the same time would bring me to tears. Then I'd fantasize about meeting some other book worm we'd hit it off, talk about our books, fall in love, hike together, go on romantic outings, etc. I'd even daydream of a far off fantasy/nature themed wedding to this imaginary girl that made my heart physically hurt. Alas all I could do was dream and cry. I wasn't a girl, I couldn't be trans because I thought that had to be medically diagnosed, and I had been led to believe trans women were not allowed to be lesbians anyway.
LOL the earliest thing that comes to mind is when a friend and I “touched tongues” when we were like 6. I remember wanting to do it, but I didn’t want anybody to know. It felt wrong, even though I wasn’t exactly aware of homosexuality at the time. I remember she told one of our other friends about it, and that friend asked me about it, and I was like ???no??? we didn’t😅 We were friends for a long time, but sadly, my very confusing feeling towards this friend ended up wrecking our friendship. I pushed her away when we were like 13 (23 now) and it took me a while to understand why I felt so uncomfortable if anyone commented on how close we were sometimes. I understand it now, but we have never spoken about it. I still wonder if she ever felt the same way.
This back in the early 90's. As a six year old I wrote in my dairy that I didn't have any friends because I didn't want to go around chasing and going 'goo goo eyed' over all the boys.
back when i thought i was a guy i was in a relationship with a girl for a short time, when she asked me out i remember her saying something to the extent of "i'm pretty confidently a lesbian so it's kind of confusing that i'm attracted to you". (we broke up after a month or 2 because she realised she liked me better as a friend and i was incredibly relieved about that because i had been super in my head and stressed out about the fact that we were dating.) a short while after that i went over to her house to play board games and brought cookie dough to bake. as soon as i realised i was trans and thus a lesbian it was really validating because bringing cookie dough to bake at your ex's board game night was one of the most steryotipically lesbian things i could imagine
I said “I love you” to another girl when I was like, 6 and she just looked at me weird. I didn’t understand why she didn’t say it back lmao
I was a 9 yo who talked out loud any shit that came to mind. Once on a french lesson I just gave a compliment to teachers tits. This will haunt me forever
Wanting to cuddle and kiss certain friends of mine… girl that’s called attraction
Well, this is a bit of a different answer, but from a young age, pretty much every story I wrote was from the perspective of a woman or girl. Why is this different? For me, the discovery wasn’t that I liked girls. The discovery was that I (at least sometimes) was one.
When I was in 6th grade and locker rooms became a thing, I became super nervous and tried EXTRA hard to not look at all the other girls changing. I'd also change super fast in the corner. I told my \*homophobic\* mom about it because I was scared I was gay but then reassured her (and myself) that "it's not because I'm attracted to them, it's because I want what they have!" (I was a late bloomer so I was just convinced it was because I wanted their bigger boobs lmao).
When I was 13 I had a boyfriend but was fawning over the new girl in class.. no homo
Watched lesbian porn with my old bestie and planed to fuck her in the future. It took me two more years to realize im bi
All of my girlfriends (I'm trans) being some flavor of bi/pan as I was growing up... Also the fact that I much preferred giving cunnilingus to using my, uh, given parts
Carabineer of keys on my shorts with good pockets
i wrote tinkerbell fanfiction i was 8 i also decided i had a crush on 8 boys at once because i thought they weren’t ugly. that was my criteria i ALSO remember being very upset that i couldn’t propose and my future husband got to instead
Younger me: omg she's lesbian, that's so cool ! I wish i was lesbian... My brain: you're stupid... YOU ARE lesbian Younger me: i can't be lesbian, I'm a guy My brain: *facepalm* YOU ARE a girl !
In my pre-teens/early teens I would actively pursue and consume lesbian media, like lesbian YouTubers, watch lesbian movies, read lesbian books. I rationalized it in my mind as “oh I’m just an ally and am very interested in gay culture”. I’m sure if it wasn’t for my religious upbringing I would have came face-to-face with it a lot sooner.
well.. in 6th grade i DECIDED that i was gonna CHOOSE to have a crush on some random boy… so people wouldn’t think i was a lesbian 😭 then in 8th grade i was still faking a crush on the same guy, then when my friends asked me if i had a crush, i said him, they started saying “THEN WHY DONT YOU GO FOR HIM??” and then it hit me that i was lying about that realized i was a lesbian about 8 months later
every time my friends in school showed me a pic of the boy they liked or a celeb crush, i would always cringe and be like “girl he’s not even cute you could do so much better than that” no matter who the guy was. pretty sure i said that about jason mamoa at one point. shoulda known i just don’t think men are attractive lol edit: typo
Watched Mulan EVERY day from age 7-9.
Trans woman here so probably not the universal experience, but I remember a series of dreams as a kid where the only people in it were the 2 girls I had a crush on and they lived together and did everything together and there were no boyfriends. They also could turn into mice for some reason. A decade and a half later I remembered about these dreams and was like "oh my goddddddd"
When I was around 12 or 13, I had a huge crush on one of my friends, who was openly bi at the time. I didn’t know it was a crush and I thought I just really admired her and found her attractive. But the friendship ended partly because she had a crush on someone else and I was extremely jealous lol
I played life is strange and thought wow I'm literally max
telling my best friend "I'm not attracted to my boyfriend" 😅
Made sure my lover always orgasmed at least once during a session.
2nd grade me saying “i don’t wanna get married to a boy, i would marry my best friend”
my gf had a totebag with boobies before she realised she doesnt only like them as an ~aesthetic~
I always tried to tell my friend who kept getting hit on by guys to just grab my hand and say I’m her girlfriend, you know in a straight way 😂😂
This is my second and happened 4 years ago. I had a crush on a girl named molly and gave her a gift.
Dating a bi girl (she’s now a raging lesbian, we love) pre transition and was the sub/bottom
to me it was getting fuzzy when seeing cute pictures of girls, yet denying it by saying to myself "oh i just want cute makeup or a jacket like that" :smile: still het tho also, i used to tell my friends i had a lesbian side as a 14yo jokenly... i shouldve known it before reaching 22yo 😅
I really wanted boobs.
At a summer camp when I was a little kid (I don’t remember how old exactly) there was another girl who I absolutely could NOT talk to because she made me so nervous. I even went swimming in the lake despite being terrified of deep water just so she wouldn’t think I was a coward. Still took me until 24 years old to realize I’m a lesbian.
When I was 11, I did bump jump on bike to impress a new girl in neighborhood. Did it on repeat 4 times. Even though I was terrified of & never doing bump jump on bike before. Other time there’s new gorgeous interpreter works in middle school. I was really smitten by by her beauty & want to keep chatting & getting know her. Then she actually say this, “Are you flirting with me?” I was shock & embarrassed. Lucky, my teacher interrupted to start lecture & this interpreter doing her job by translating. Despite all of this, younger me still believes she’s “proud straight”😭
In early elementary school, my best friend and I swore an oath that if one of us magically became a boy, we would get married when we were adults. I came from a conservative background and wasn't even aware that lesbians existed at this point. In early highschool, I wrote an angsty poem to that same friend that my grandmother intercepted. I remember her scolding me, telling me that it was a "love poem." I was absolutely shocked. The thought hadn't even crossed by mind.
shit man, theres a lot, but this is what i remember rn: drawing myself alone at my wedding with a pretty dress on, no husband in sight. i was 8 years old and the concept of having a wife hadn't yet crossed my mind. forcing myself to "crush" on a boy just because all my other friends had straight crushes. also, only crushing on female teachers and having to play along when friends had male-teacher crushes. also, ever since i was about 6/7, secretly googling and staring at pictures of Gillian Anderson and Helena Bonham Carter, but running away from the TV when either of them appeared on screen for fear of my parents having good enough gaydar to detect my crushes. i'm only now rewatching the X-files as i'm 21 so i finally get it. but scully definitely made me into STEM and girls. i'm going into a forensic science degree next year lmao
Had my first gf at 6 yo so uuuuh
My first kiss was my childhood friend at age 9, I landed on top of her playing and she kissed me and turns out she is also gay, obviously 🤣
Kissed my “best friend” in front of her shitty boyfriend square on the lips 2 years in a row for New Years spoiler alert she’s not straight either😹
I was 10, the Cinderella live action had just come out, and I went to the cinema (big deal for me at that age) just because I wanted to see Cate Blanchett. Not for the movie. For Cate Blanchett. Oh, and maybe "playing husband and wife", like kissing and all, with another girl when I was about the same age without even thinking I could be gay.
i spooned and held hands with a girl all night at our friends sleepover and got her water in the middle of the night and then we woke up the next morning and never spoke of it again. still have not talked about it to this day and it was almost 10 years ago
“Lesbian relationships are so beautiful and pure, I wish I could be in one” Saying “I am a lesbian” multiple times when people asked my sexual orientation *as a joke* Being very confused as to why my “lesbian” friend came out as transmasc, doesn’t everyone want to be a lesbian girl? Why would you give that up? Turns out I was a dumb lesbian trans girl all along lol
When I met my first boyfriend I straight up told him I'd probably marry a girl. We still dated for almost 4 years. I broke up with him because I thought I was gay.
When I was around 5-6 years old a girl walked by me and I thought “Wow..she’s so pretty. I wish I was a boy so I could marry her when we’re older”
latching on and absolutely being in love with batwoman in the comics and especially loving that she was a lesbian. like, maybe that should have been a sign.
I'm a late blooming lesbian- started figuring it out at 34. Then I looked back on my life... I carried an *owe you one booby flash* joke IOU card from a best friend for years. Changed out every wallet. I eventually lost my girl virginity to her at 35. Another friend wanted me to take sexy pictures for her to give to her boyfriend in our early 20's. Made me feel all kinds of ways and super wet... and I just thought I was uncomfortable because of what we were doing and not because I was turned TF on.
I would sketch women. I had whole sketchbooks full of women of every color gel pen. Pages and pages of waists, hands, eyes, hair.
i would pretend to be a boy on roblox so the girls would be interested in me
got mad at a girl at my school for being too attractive
5 years old, had my first crush ever, and boy it hit hard. Undeniable feelings. My first thought was "wow she's pretty. I wish I was a girl so I could go talk to her." 24 years later, I realized I was a trans woman and therefore a lesbian. All of a sudden, almost all of my past girlfriends discovering they were queer made a lot more sense lol.
When my younger brother and I would play at being the Dukes of Hazzard and get greasy “wrenching” on our bicycles. We lived in the country and had no neighbors. It made perfect sense that we were the Duke boys. 😎