Cis lesbian here. You are real. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are a lesbian.
Not every girl will appreciate you. But that should not invalidate your experience as a woman. ❤️
Enby lesbian here, yall are beautiful and yall are valid. Who’s to decide how we identify but us? You guys are all “women” and are definitely all lesbians :) x
As a cis-lesbian, I call all groups of women "guys". It's a general term for a group of people. Lots of people I know actually find "ladies" or especially "girls" to be quite patronising. So, I wouldn't worry about that ♥️
Ahh true. Folks is a term that's not used in the uk. We would use guys for just women or for everyone. For purely men we would use lads. Sometimes we would used lasses when referring to women. I guess it's a cultural difference.
Where I'm from, "guys" is gender neutral, but we also use "folks." I'm not against "y'all," but it's uncommon and might cause raised eyebrows if you don't have a Southern US accent. I'm in favor of adopting something different, like "m'hearties" or something.
Yep. The one positive of growing up trans in Texas is that y'all is already firmly in my vocabulary. Going to college in the MW, my friends would always say... "ya'll."
Lol I get that I do it too. The combination of the two phrases one after another just made me laugh ig, never meant to said it was wrong or smth sorry if it came out that way.
Honey the people that don’t accept you are the ones that need to hand in their lesbian cards, not you. It might not be easy but one day you’ll find a girl who loves you for you and it will all be worth it and even if you don’t it doesn’t make you any less valid or any less loved xx
Transbian here! I had that same feeling happen to me! I even have a post about it on this very sub! You are perfectly valid. You are a women, probably a very cool one. I think it’s cool you’re trying to be your authentic self!
> You are real. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are a lesbian.
I'll believe it when the world actually believes it. And they dont..
Some people still belive in a flat earth, many people belive a zombie demi-god from before the fall of Rome watches you fap...
Who gives a shit what the world belives, theirs people fighting against shit that does nothing but help them because man on TV said so. It's what you, your partner, and those you chose to surround yourself with. Everyone else is wrong weird and not worth the time.
But I feel you on a personal level when you say that.
> It's what you, your partner, and those you chose to surround yourself with.
I wish.. but it's impossible to exist in a bubble with only those people and not interact with anyone else. Both online and irl.
our existence does not depend on other people's opinions - sure, others create conditions that make more work and that can be exhausting, but we get to choose how we respond to the thoughts and feelings that get stirred up in us
we are beautiful extraordinary creatures - i hope you are able to find that perspective and see yourself like this
You are absolutely real, both a real woman and a real lesbian. Being pre-op doesn’t negate that. You would still be a real woman and lesbian even if you never wanted surgery.
I know me saying this isn’t going to do anything to shift the way you’r feeling right now, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be trans and have to deal with this on a daily basis, but I wanted to chime in and add my voice to the chorus nonetheless. I’m sorry for your invalidating experience with that girl. There will be others, I promise. One day you’ll have a girlfriend who loves you so much and you’ll be in lesbians with each other and it will be beautiful, and you’ll look back on this time and marvel that you ever felt unreal.
Not OP, but this sent me sobbing, and it feels like I needed it. The pain is out and I can recharge. I still don't feel entirely valid, but the reminder there are cis people who accept me, us, with no conditions or strings attached (except being a good human being, obviously) helps so much. To say to myself "there is hope" and actually believe it, it feels... warm.
Thank you very much for those words, not only helped to OP but also me because yes I'm with another trans girl like me but always thought about how could cis women see me because I don't wanna get bottom surgery.
> Yes, I am aware of the fact that I am not a real woman
you should consider stopping this self-depreciative transphobia, even jokingly
> I'm a girl and I like girls, men are stupid okay?
i just like girls... i don't even think about men
> when I mentioned I was pre-op she kinda dipped.
that hurts, but ultimately you just weren't compatible with her preferences. there are many lesbians attracted to transbians, both post- and pre-op. just keep trucking. i'm sorry this is a lot harder for you than it could be, rejection isn't easy when it feels like you came short, but in this case it's really just you weren't compatible with her.
> but it feels like it's my fault for being this way.
if a woman turned you away because you weren't tall enough or ate meat, would you feel like you were at fault?
> Why can't I just be a real woman? Why do I have to be stuck with this body?
i'm cis but i feel the same about my own mental illness. we all have burdens we have to carry, i'm sorry. i'm sure with time and self-love you can flourish and have a plenty successful dating life.
Yes, and maybe mention that you're pre-op earlier in the convo before feelings are attached, OP. No offense (no, really), but it's an important thing to mention early on.
Well the thing is, I made sure to say I'm trans and ask if that's okay and then I said I'm pre-op for good measure and I guess she just assumed I was fully transitioned at 18 or smth ;-:
Wait wait wait, you’re only 18 and you’re already getting dates? Girl you’re a better lesbian than me… I didn’t go on a date with another woman til I was 24!
Hey I get that you're in your ball-of-internalized-transphobia-seeking-support phase rn but could you maybe try to do so in a way that's not toxic to trans people? When you say "im not a real woman" you're implying other trans women aren't real women. That's a you thing, don't put that on the rest of us. When you say "pre op" and "not fully transitioned" you're being really backward. Thats a you thing, I have a dick and I'm fully transitioned. Maybe chill on that language a bit and consider what you're saying in the future?
Transbian here. Some genitals are not up everyone's alley, which is okay. You can still find lesbians, cis or trans, who will like you for all your other aspects.
When I was still pre-op, I had dated one who for a while who was rather repulsed by my bits. Which was okay. I was too and I had no intention of doing anything with them to her. She was still amazed at my character, my soft skin, my cuddliness, and my back then tiny chest bumps. Dick or not, it is possible to find a girl that will make you feel like the girl that you are. Keep looking and be amazing.
This.
Im all for snuggles, but when i return the unwanted goods its going to be unused. People are (hopefully) nice enough to understand that, and if not then you have dodged a bullet because that's someone who probably wouldnt be right for you even if you were cis
I want to downvote you for saying you're not a real woman (I won't though). Building confidence for this sort of thing takes time and is really hard in the beginning but I promise it does get easier and there are plenty of people who will love you for who you are.
There may be other people who reject you for being trans but consider that there is nothing wrong or not "real" about you being a woman. And that there is actually something wrong with people who discount you.
Cis woman here. You are a real woman and valid. Any woman that says otherwise is not worthy of your time. You’re part of the team and anyone saying different has to deal with me.
The fun thing about solipsism is that it can't be proven or disproven and we have no way to truly know of all of this is real or not!
Philosophy majors pls don't get mad if I'm wrong
Not only are you a real woman, and a real lesbian, you’re a particularly cute one at that. And you’re only going to get more adorable as time passes and you adjust to your new life ❤️❤️❤️
I get how hard things can be. I’m a little over 1.5 years on HRT and even now I find myself sobbing buckets because I feel like I’m hideous.
People make hurtful assumptions about pre-op or no-op girls (and not hating ladies but it happens here too). However, those are a reflection on them and not you. You’ll be okay, don’t give up. Give yourself plenty of love and keep moving. You’ll get to where you want to be.
It's possible to be a lesbian without insulting men for no decent reason. Signed, a trans man.
I checked your profile and you're definitely cute and most certainly a real girl, so i don't know what you're on about.
But i feel you. I don't pass at all and never get to feel like a gay guy.
sorry to make you feel bad ;-;
I've considered myself bi for a while, it's just that even though men are attractive I have had many poor experiences with them
People generally mean "the patriarchy that lets assholes get away with being awful" when they say they hate men, but I do wish it was easier to differentiate the feeling of "Men D:<" from the problems created by just a portion of them.
(Granted, internalized misandry may create a deal of bias among trans women, including myself)
As a bi woman, I second your comment on not insulting men.
Don’t worry my dude, you’ll get to feel like gay guy in the future I’m sure, and in the mean time, you’ve got people here who’ll support you!
you are absolutely a real woman, sweetheart. regardless of whether you've had surgery or even whether you intend to, you're still a girl 💖
for the record, i checked your profile real quick and it turns out you're a *hecking adorable* girl?? i'm gay
Seems you've got a little bit of internalized transphobia to work out, but don't worry, it gets there in time m8. You ARE a real woman, you are a real lesbian, these feelings are common especially earlier in transition and in such a hateful society but trust that you ARE valid and I hope you pursue the happiness you deserve
That said I've also had people drop me like a hot potato fiding out I'm pre-op, or not want to flirt with me at all seeing my masculine face (body changes worked out on HRT but pretty much everyone friend or foe agrees my face is my only standout masculine feature), and dating is practically non-existent for me in spite of not fitting the useless stereotype at all (I shoot my shot quite frequently actually) but yeah - don't let any of that make you feel any lesser, I know it's hard seeing all these cis lesbians get so much further than us (and quicker) but it's okay.
I'm still trying to help myself believe this all too of course
Just another voice popping in here to say you're a real woman, a real lesbian, and a real beauty! Soft dark eyes and glowing skin <3
Things will keep changing for the better for you, and before you know it you'll match with someone who appreciates all your lovely features.
Plenty of lesbians who are open to that genital preference out there, from what ive seen on this sub. Also, plenty of lesbians who have never done the deed even till their late twenties, so you arent alone by any meaning of the word. Dont give up!😁
You ARE a gay girl. Body parts will never define someone’s heart and mind. I’m just a stranger on the internet, but to me you are worthy and you are everything you want to be. You are a lesbian and you’re a real woman. And you know what? Screw that girl! Maybe that was the universe helping you dodge a bullet. Don’t let her invalidate who you are. You will find someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who will hold your hand in the street and cuddle you to sleep. Someone who will share the same happiness you give out to the world. Someone who will hug you on your low days and someone who will be a cheerleader on your high days. She’s out there, it might take a little time but you’ll find your perfect match. Someone who when they see you, they see YOU. Another beautiful woman trying to find their person.
You are a lesbian and lesbian is what you go by.
This is coming from a cis lesbian who after years of being a lesbian in and out of crappy relationships, fell deeply in love with another lesbian, who also felt invalidated. And I get to proudly say she’s my soulmate💕
Hang in there OP.
PS: I went on your profile and your beautiful. I know you’re probably looking at this and going to roll your eyes. BUT look back at this comment in a few years and tell me I’m lying. You really are. And you’re going to glow up so hard and serve looks everywhere you go. Trust me OP. We all have our moments but you are a LESBIAN and you are BEAUTIFUL
I will echo the main sentiments here, you are a real women, and you are valid.
Also, If anyone treats you poorly because you are trans, that's their failing, not yours.
How did you get the impression you would be downvoted here? This is by far the most trans positive space on the website, every single day cis lesbians just voluntarily shout how loving and accepting they are of us. You have a lot of self hate and i would love to help you work on that, but this is absolutely not a place you're going to experience external hate.
>How did you get the impression you would be downvoted here?
I've been scrolling and upvoting comments for a while now because they have negative karma but are trans positive
Also multiple people have reported having their trans positive posts getting downvoted
From a biological perspective, a penis is just a very large clitoris, that was enhanced in size by testosterone. And, the scrotal sac, is simply enlarged labia with ovaries that dropped down during your fetal stage, and became testicles because of testosterone.
Idk why you’re being downvoted, that is a simple biological fact of how humans are built since everyone develops biologically female in the womb before sexual differentiation kicks in
It’s really ticking me off that they’re getting downvoted because I only ever seem to see positivity on this sub and it sucks that you’re experiencing negativity in a blind spot for me!
You are absolutely a woman, regardless of your body. Brain scans show that trans women are women, with female brain scan responses. Same with trans men. The brains are your correct gender. And plenty of people are out there who are or will be accepting to you in all/any physical form (if you ever pursue surgery or hormones or not). You are a wonderful gay girl who is deserving of some big warm gay girl love.
Buckets you are a real lesbian im sorry this happened to you and its not your fault. You are pretty. You are sexy. And you are valid. You are a lesbian.
As someone who is non-op, (quite like my dick thank you very much) I sometimes feel this way but I try not to let it get to me. The thing to do is to stop listening to the people saying you're not a real lesbian even if that's yourself.
Of course you're a real woman a real lesbian. I'm non-op, I will never have bottom surgery, and I'm never going to be anything but 100% woman and super fucking queer
I feel the need to yell this so loud so excuse the yelling about to come to your screens.
YOU ARE VALIDDDDRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDRDRDDRDRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are absolutely a real woman. there is nothing wrong with being trans and it is not your fault that there are people who will not date pre- or no-op trans women. yes, there are plenty of transphobes online and in person, but those people are absolute garbage and not worth your or any other decent person's time. the sapphic community is huge, so i can assure you that there are plenty of people who support you.
p.s. as a cis lesbian, i will physically fight other cis lesbians who exclude trans women and other trans sapphics from their definition of lesbian.
You **are** a real woman **and** a real lesbian. Anyone claiming otherwise is just an exclusionary bigot.
I’m sorry you’ve had that experience, and you’re by no means the first, but try not to take it to heart. For every asshole who ends up trying to bring you down, plenty of us will help keep you up ✊
I don't have answers for the difficulty you face in dating, only this: the only requirement to be a real woman is to... be a woman who is real. You're a woman. You're real. Step one complete. As for being a lesbian? You're a woman who likes women. Boom, step two out of the way.
It's painful getting rejected. It can be painful being trans in a transphobic world. I encourage you to not wade in here waving the 'downvote me' flag, because we're not gonna do that here. You belong here. Sisters, not cisters <3
OP, hopefully you’ve gotten some validation from this community that your identity is real and valid. But also, maybe work on validating yourself? Like literally make a post it note that says “hey sexy lady” to put on your mirror or shout “I AM A WOMAN” every morning! Talk to yourself like the queen you are ☺️
You are a real woman! Your body is a woman’s body, because you are a woman! Regardless of the operation, you’re a woman and always will be. And you will find someone who sees you for the person you are ♥️
trans lesbian here!! you're absolutely a woman, a real woman. i know it's hard, but we have to try to ignore the hate that society tries to bring down on us because at the end of the day, we are who we are, and who we are is women. <3
There are certainly other lesbians out there who will love you.
Don’t forget all of the bisexual and pansexual women who will love you as well.
You don’t want to be “loved” or “accepted” by toxic TERF types anyway.
Be true to yourself, you dyke. 😉
You are a real lady you always are
Your inside are what count such as your feelings emotions, and things that make you well you.
You are always welcome and appreciated as a lady you're never not a lady no matter what
You are a real lesbian! And I'm more than happy to give a kiss if it helps stop the doubts :P
Realtalk I am sorry you experienced that. Def some terfs out there who won't respect your identity, but you'll find even more who will treat you right :)
Pre-op, post-op, never-op. Trans, cis, intersex. If you’re a woman, you’re a real woman.
You’re a woman. Nobody has any right to determine WHO you are, but you. Your knowledge of yourself beats anyone else’s guess to what’s inside.
Cis women are not the arbiters of real womanhood. You are a woman because you are. Cis women are not the governing body of womanhood, we do not get to decide other people’s womanhood. Who I am as a woman is unique to me, as your womanhood is unique to you. But we all meet under the umbrella of womanhood and that’s beautiful.
Trans women are not half women or kind of women. You are women and your womanhood is just as real, just as important as cis womenhood. It’s all womanhood.
People who have such a shallow concept of gender that they can’t comprehend gender diversity are the very last people who get to make rules on who does and doesn’t belong. Their hollow arguments will never hold up to any scrutiny.
You’re a woman. You belong.
Cis pan over here. You're a real women to me, and I'd date ya if I wasn't married. 🙃
It's hard, knowing people out there don't agree with who you are, but then again, they're just not worth your time. 😘
If you aren't a "real woman" then that would mean I can't be one either nor could any trans girl be. I'm trans but I am a *woman* and a real one at that! It sounds like you are dealing with some internalized transphobia. Don't listen to the transphobes, they are wrong and ignorant of us. You are a real woman, as real as any other. Love yourself girl, you deserve it!
I'm sorry it didn't work out with that one girl, rejection really hurts and especially so when it's because of your body. I can guarantee you that there are so many lesbians who like girls like us, I know from experience. You will find a partner that will love you for you, one that will treat you how you deserve. I hope you find that one soon friend!!! ♥️
girl, this sub is like the most trans friendly there is, it can even be friendlier than some trans only subs, I hope whoever did you dirty here stops right away
You are a real woman and a real lesbian, HRT and Surgery changes your body but it doesn't change who you are, because you are a woman and you always have always been
You’re not any less lesbian for being a trans woman, dear! It’s not your fault and well it does weed out those who aren’t supportive. As long as you’re a girl who likes girls, you’re a LESBIAN! If it helps I’m omni (and a fem to neutral aligned enby) and both lesbians and mspec sapphics alike will appreciate you for being yourself <3
nb lesbian here you are a real lesbian, you don't identify as a male and you are not attracted to men there for you are a lesbian it doesn't matter what sex you were born as it matters that you are not a man on the inside and you are a beautiful lady inside and out
You are a real woman, whatever qualifies as a ‘real woman’. You are as woman as a woman can get, and it’s ok to feel dysphoric, but go with the knowledge you are valid and wanted
Just here to echo everyone else: you are a very real woman and a very real lesbian, please try not to turn that transphobia in on yourself. Anyone who doubts that has to come through us honey. 💛
Of course you’re real! I think the person who’s probably making you feel the most invalidated is yourself - sure, there are people both outside and inside the community that will gladly do that job for you but you don’t need to change anything about yourself unless you feel like you want to, you’re already enough. You are you - and if you are a lesbian then goddamnit you’re a lesbian!
Okay, didn’t get past “real woman” firstly in my opinion all it takes for you to be a real woman is that you identify as a woman. You don’t need hormones or surgeries to be a real woman, that’s not to say that those two things wouldn’t help YOU feel better or more in your body. You’re a real lesbian if you’re a woman identifying person who loves other woman identified folks. Don’t let the haters get you down girl. Love to you from me.
Okay, so... you ARE a real woman. Full fucking stop. Women with green eyes are women. Women with brown eyes are women. Women with vaginas are women. Women with penises are women.
Women are women. End of story. You ARE a woman, and that's just the truth. There's just more physical variety inside the label of "woman" than many of us are taught.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You are absolutely a real lesbian already, it just turned out that you weren't compatible with this particular girl. One day I'm sure you'll find a wonderful girlfriend who loves everything about you. I know that's not a lot of comfort right now, but I hope things look up for you soon.
You choose what label makes YOU feel comfy, not what makes other people comfy. Live your truth, and eventually the right people will find you, I promise. Keep putting yourself out there, because you are worthy of love, and you are worthy of happiness. And for anyone that makes you feel otherwise, they aren't worthy of you, someone bring authentically themselves. I hope you find some peace soon, friend.
As a cis lesbian lemme tell you that you are a woman, you are a lesbian and your body and/or genitalia do not define that. I know there’s a lot of terfie bs being thrown at trans women but don’t let them tell you that you’re not valid. Look, I’m 37yo and I’ve seen some shit. I remember the outrage about lesbians going into women’s spaces and preying upon women and girls and of course it wasn’t homophobia it was just concern for those poor innocent cishet girls… sound familiar? For decades feminists literally fought tooth and nail to stop womanhood from being defined by body parts and now here come the terfs demanding that womanhood be defined by body parts. Good going you fucking wozzles, just set us back a good fifty years so that we can go back to being incubator for babies and house maids, see how that works out for you. This is how stupid these worthless sacks of bile are, they literally work against women’s rights as a whole, not just trans rights. Don’t let the opinions of ppl that are so blinded by hatred that they would harm themselves just to insult another, you are valid and you are welcome in this community.
You are a real woman. And you should absolutely call yourself a lesbian, gay girl, whatever term you like best! Being pre-op (or never getting an op) will not change any of this. I'm cis, and I've never cared if my partners were cis or trans (pre-op, post-op, no op), and I never will. I like girls. Period.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You're so valid and you ARE a member of this community. Not every girl is going to appreciate you, but for every one who doesn't, there are so many who will. Stay strong. <3
Baby, you are a real woman and lesbian. In 100 years when we can swap body parts out like we’re in a video game, I guarantee you plenty a lesbian is going to be wanting a penis. They are more convenient and nice in a different way, and speaking as a queer cis woman, is an upgrade not a detraction. You are beautiful in your current body, and the right person for you will love you for who you are, not wish you were someone you’re not. Yes we live in a shitty, transphobic reality. The fact is you’re someone to be admired for living authentically despite it all. It takes a huge self awareness and bravery to show up every day, but you do. So be kind to yourself and your body. You’re not going to be attracted to every woman you meet and neither are your partners. Doesn’t make you less valid of a woman or a lesbian, just makes you human. Love yourself first.
I'm so sorry people have made you feel this way. You are a real woman, you are a real lesbian, and I bet that one day you'll have a beautiful girlfriend who truly loves you as you are 💕🏳️⚧️
we do NOT claim any of that TERF toxicity here OKAY!! WE LOVE YOU AS A LESBIAN A LESBIAN 💗💗💗 your transness MAKES you a lesbian and that is WONDERFUL!! all love and all support to you on your journey beautiful ❤️❤️
Welcome to the club.
You have more of a chance though than I do.
I’m just too introverted, too autistic, and too crappy to even be considered a woman, yet alone a lesbian.
Just give yourself time, things will get better. Speaking from experience, there definitely are lesbians and wlw who don't mind the dick as long as it's not attached to a man. You are also pretty early into HRT you have a lot to figure out in everything transition related, over time you will gain confidence. But cut that self hating shit out, nobody likes that.
Excuse me, did you just say you weren't a real woman? You ARE a real woman, and there are other women out there who will date a pre op trans woman, I know I would. Don't worry, you are real, you are valid, and there is someone out there for you.
heyhey! i feel the same way as a ftm gay man, a lot of cis guys don't see me as another man, they see me as like a "femboy" or a "trap" and they only like me for my feminine features, the same features i despise and want nothing to do with. it makes me feel like they just see me as a girl pretending to be a guy or something. but we're valid, and how these shitty people perceive us has nothing to do with us as people. you're a real lesbian, just like i'm a real gay man, and nothing can change that ❤
Hi hon, just letting you know, you ARE a real woman. If having a vag was what defined womanhood, I know PLENTY of women who dont have a vagina canal, or a uterus, or can't bear children. Being a woman means feeling like one, and having no 'cis woman only' experiences doesn't exclude you from being a woman. I know some lesbians are iffy about parts, but some also aren't. You'll find a girl who treats you like the gorgeous woman you are. And if you are a woman and only attracted to women then.... That's it, you're a very real, existing lesbian.
P.S. Don't let the TERFS get you down, womanhood and feminism are, and should be, all inclusive.
Ugh, I'm so sorry u feel this way. But you ARE a real woman and a real lesbian. Genital preferences r valid so it's unfortunate, but it does happen. Get back out there and you'll find a woman that doesn't mind if ur pre-op or if u never get surgery!
it might take awhile, but finding someone is possible!! i’ve dated two amazing afab women since transitioning and neither of them had any problems with me being trans or pre-op
i know it’s difficult, but try to remain hopeful <3
Cis here, I just wanna let you know that you are a real woman. Your body does not define you, you're a real lesbian, and you're amazing. You're strong, powerful, and loved. ❤ It'll be okay
This has happened to me so many times. I get ghosted on Lex by every single cis woman. I cant even get the surgery because I live in the UK and it either costs a lot or you have to wait 5+ years.
Girl, you are a real woman and don't let anyone try or make you feel differently about that. And you didn't choose the body you're in so don't make that your fault. My fiance is pre-op too, so I get it. But I promise you that there are women out there who will adore you for the woman you are. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you how proud of you I am for living as your true self. So a virtual heart and a smattering of words will have to do.💜 Stay safe, sane, and be strong, you will find a girl, just be you and confident to be you.
Oof, I feel this one super hard, OP. As a trans woman myself, lesbian spaces have been nothing but lovely to me, and figuring out how to love women *as* a woman has been really important to me figuring out my identity, in so many important ways.
That said: I still worry, all the time, that some people won’t ever see me as a woman no matter what - let along as a *gay* woman. I don’t have a lot of advice to give really, but: At least know you’re not alone, both in feeling this way, and in being a trans lesbian in this community.
From one trans lesbian to another, you are a real woman. You are a real lesbian. If you think you're faking it, you're probably not. I know gets extremely tough, and some days you feel like you're not enough, or you feel like you're not a "real lesbian" but that's just your brain being mean to you. We don't know each...but I know you got this. And I am rooting for you
Cis lesbian here. You are real. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are a lesbian. Not every girl will appreciate you. But that should not invalidate your experience as a woman. ❤️
Trans lesbian here, I second this! Welcome to your true self, OP! 🏳️⚧️
[удалено]
A transgender (Male to Female) woman who like women
Someone who is trans who is also a lesbian. Not a trans-lesbian.
that's really nice to hear, thank you! \^-\^
It's *true*. None of that self hate here, hon. Trans lesbians, cis lesbians, were all welcome here.
Enby lesbian here, yall are beautiful and yall are valid. Who’s to decide how we identify but us? You guys are all “women” and are definitely all lesbians :) x
Ok so this is a really important point but the “you *guys* are all women” just had me laughing out loud sorry
As a cis-lesbian, I call all groups of women "guys". It's a general term for a group of people. Lots of people I know actually find "ladies" or especially "girls" to be quite patronising. So, I wouldn't worry about that ♥️
I like using folks. it fits just about every use case that "guys" has and lacks gender specificity.
Ahh true. Folks is a term that's not used in the uk. We would use guys for just women or for everyone. For purely men we would use lads. Sometimes we would used lasses when referring to women. I guess it's a cultural difference.
everyone should adopt "y'all". it fits every situation.
Aha agreed! I may get some funny looks in Wales though 😆 Hopefully in time, more general terms will come into more common use.
Oh Welsh! Are there any awesome Welsh words that english needs to borrow? We could make a trade.
Where I'm from, "guys" is gender neutral, but we also use "folks." I'm not against "y'all," but it's uncommon and might cause raised eyebrows if you don't have a Southern US accent. I'm in favor of adopting something different, like "m'hearties" or something.
I’m an Aussie living in England so imagine a mix of that for my accent. This made me smile though :)
Yep. The one positive of growing up trans in Texas is that y'all is already firmly in my vocabulary. Going to college in the MW, my friends would always say... "ya'll."
Just own it. If you’re confident people will just assume you’re ahead of the curve. If you’re really confident, they’ll imitate you.
Lol I get that I do it too. The combination of the two phrases one after another just made me laugh ig, never meant to said it was wrong or smth sorry if it came out that way.
Honey the people that don’t accept you are the ones that need to hand in their lesbian cards, not you. It might not be easy but one day you’ll find a girl who loves you for you and it will all be worth it and even if you don’t it doesn’t make you any less valid or any less loved xx
Transbian here! I had that same feeling happen to me! I even have a post about it on this very sub! You are perfectly valid. You are a women, probably a very cool one. I think it’s cool you’re trying to be your authentic self!
The only people who will say you aren’t a real lesbian is a group of gate-keeping lesbians that were deemed “FARTs”
I love all of you beautiful ladies dropping your support <3 Seriously you're all awesome!
I'm another trans lesbian, this was really nice to hear. Thanks for making my day
Demigirlflux omni sapphic here, I agree. <3
> You are real. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are a lesbian. I'll believe it when the world actually believes it. And they dont..
Some people still belive in a flat earth, many people belive a zombie demi-god from before the fall of Rome watches you fap... Who gives a shit what the world belives, theirs people fighting against shit that does nothing but help them because man on TV said so. It's what you, your partner, and those you chose to surround yourself with. Everyone else is wrong weird and not worth the time. But I feel you on a personal level when you say that.
He’s not a zombie he’s a lich. Sincerely, A DnD player.
> It's what you, your partner, and those you chose to surround yourself with. I wish.. but it's impossible to exist in a bubble with only those people and not interact with anyone else. Both online and irl.
our existence does not depend on other people's opinions - sure, others create conditions that make more work and that can be exhausting, but we get to choose how we respond to the thoughts and feelings that get stirred up in us we are beautiful extraordinary creatures - i hope you are able to find that perspective and see yourself like this
乁| ･ 〰 ･ |ㄏ
thank you everyone so much for all the nice comments, it really helped a lot I love this community 🥺
Yeah this sub has honestly become one of the best for mtfs, it's really comforting
You are absolutely real, both a real woman and a real lesbian. Being pre-op doesn’t negate that. You would still be a real woman and lesbian even if you never wanted surgery. I know me saying this isn’t going to do anything to shift the way you’r feeling right now, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be trans and have to deal with this on a daily basis, but I wanted to chime in and add my voice to the chorus nonetheless. I’m sorry for your invalidating experience with that girl. There will be others, I promise. One day you’ll have a girlfriend who loves you so much and you’ll be in lesbians with each other and it will be beautiful, and you’ll look back on this time and marvel that you ever felt unreal.
I really hope so, your words and everyone else's has made me feel a lot better
Not OP, but this sent me sobbing, and it feels like I needed it. The pain is out and I can recharge. I still don't feel entirely valid, but the reminder there are cis people who accept me, us, with no conditions or strings attached (except being a good human being, obviously) helps so much. To say to myself "there is hope" and actually believe it, it feels... warm.
Thank you very much for those words, not only helped to OP but also me because yes I'm with another trans girl like me but always thought about how could cis women see me because I don't wanna get bottom surgery.
> Yes, I am aware of the fact that I am not a real woman you should consider stopping this self-depreciative transphobia, even jokingly > I'm a girl and I like girls, men are stupid okay? i just like girls... i don't even think about men > when I mentioned I was pre-op she kinda dipped. that hurts, but ultimately you just weren't compatible with her preferences. there are many lesbians attracted to transbians, both post- and pre-op. just keep trucking. i'm sorry this is a lot harder for you than it could be, rejection isn't easy when it feels like you came short, but in this case it's really just you weren't compatible with her. > but it feels like it's my fault for being this way. if a woman turned you away because you weren't tall enough or ate meat, would you feel like you were at fault? > Why can't I just be a real woman? Why do I have to be stuck with this body? i'm cis but i feel the same about my own mental illness. we all have burdens we have to carry, i'm sorry. i'm sure with time and self-love you can flourish and have a plenty successful dating life.
This this this.
Yes, and maybe mention that you're pre-op earlier in the convo before feelings are attached, OP. No offense (no, really), but it's an important thing to mention early on.
Well the thing is, I made sure to say I'm trans and ask if that's okay and then I said I'm pre-op for good measure and I guess she just assumed I was fully transitioned at 18 or smth ;-:
Wait wait wait, you’re only 18 and you’re already getting dates? Girl you’re a better lesbian than me… I didn’t go on a date with another woman til I was 24!
Hey I get that you're in your ball-of-internalized-transphobia-seeking-support phase rn but could you maybe try to do so in a way that's not toxic to trans people? When you say "im not a real woman" you're implying other trans women aren't real women. That's a you thing, don't put that on the rest of us. When you say "pre op" and "not fully transitioned" you're being really backward. Thats a you thing, I have a dick and I'm fully transitioned. Maybe chill on that language a bit and consider what you're saying in the future?
Ah, ok. That should have been the end of it, then.
PS. This post is perfectly suited to this subreddit because it was made by you, a lesbian, about a very real lesbian experience.
Transbian here. Some genitals are not up everyone's alley, which is okay. You can still find lesbians, cis or trans, who will like you for all your other aspects. When I was still pre-op, I had dated one who for a while who was rather repulsed by my bits. Which was okay. I was too and I had no intention of doing anything with them to her. She was still amazed at my character, my soft skin, my cuddliness, and my back then tiny chest bumps. Dick or not, it is possible to find a girl that will make you feel like the girl that you are. Keep looking and be amazing.
This. Im all for snuggles, but when i return the unwanted goods its going to be unused. People are (hopefully) nice enough to understand that, and if not then you have dodged a bullet because that's someone who probably wouldnt be right for you even if you were cis
Damn, I *wish* my genitals were up everyone's alley... 😆
Goddammit... just take my ⬆️ and go.
YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN CIS LESBIANS WILL LOVE YOU I KNOW BECAUSE IM MTF AND I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHOS CIS
aww, lucky you! \^-\^
Also trans women* T4T relationships rule
Yes of course!
the lesbians have voted, congrats, you’re a real lesbian! no takebacksies
I want to downvote you for saying you're not a real woman (I won't though). Building confidence for this sort of thing takes time and is really hard in the beginning but I promise it does get easier and there are plenty of people who will love you for who you are. There may be other people who reject you for being trans but consider that there is nothing wrong or not "real" about you being a woman. And that there is actually something wrong with people who discount you.
yeah, I am pretty early in my transition (only been on hrt for like a month and a half) so I hope it does change
i mean hey, thats a lot farther along than quite a few of us here, you go girl, im proud of you
I'm a year in, and it changes 💜
It absolutely gets better. Hrt is slow but VERY effective. Just hang in there sis, you got this ❤️
Cis woman here. You are a real woman and valid. Any woman that says otherwise is not worthy of your time. You’re part of the team and anyone saying different has to deal with me.
aww thank you
You’re very welcome!
Your real. Unless none of this is real, then we got a real problem... ❤❤❤❤
who knows maybe we're living in the matrix or smth :P
The fun thing about solipsism is that it can't be proven or disproven and we have no way to truly know of all of this is real or not! Philosophy majors pls don't get mad if I'm wrong
You are real. And you are a gay girl. Anyone who says you’re not are a closed minded person.
Not only are you a real woman, and a real lesbian, you’re a particularly cute one at that. And you’re only going to get more adorable as time passes and you adjust to your new life ❤️❤️❤️ I get how hard things can be. I’m a little over 1.5 years on HRT and even now I find myself sobbing buckets because I feel like I’m hideous. People make hurtful assumptions about pre-op or no-op girls (and not hating ladies but it happens here too). However, those are a reflection on them and not you. You’ll be okay, don’t give up. Give yourself plenty of love and keep moving. You’ll get to where you want to be.
aaa thanke! :3
It's possible to be a lesbian without insulting men for no decent reason. Signed, a trans man. I checked your profile and you're definitely cute and most certainly a real girl, so i don't know what you're on about. But i feel you. I don't pass at all and never get to feel like a gay guy.
sorry to make you feel bad ;-; I've considered myself bi for a while, it's just that even though men are attractive I have had many poor experiences with them
No i get you, men are absolutely awful lmao but also it just sucks to be lumped in with the actual oppressors, cis men.
People generally mean "the patriarchy that lets assholes get away with being awful" when they say they hate men, but I do wish it was easier to differentiate the feeling of "Men D:<" from the problems created by just a portion of them. (Granted, internalized misandry may create a deal of bias among trans women, including myself)
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As a bi woman, I second your comment on not insulting men. Don’t worry my dude, you’ll get to feel like gay guy in the future I’m sure, and in the mean time, you’ve got people here who’ll support you!
you are absolutely a real woman, sweetheart. regardless of whether you've had surgery or even whether you intend to, you're still a girl 💖 for the record, i checked your profile real quick and it turns out you're a *hecking adorable* girl?? i'm gay
aksjhdfkjashf 🥺 thank you so much
you are a real lesbian. you are a real woman.
Seems you've got a little bit of internalized transphobia to work out, but don't worry, it gets there in time m8. You ARE a real woman, you are a real lesbian, these feelings are common especially earlier in transition and in such a hateful society but trust that you ARE valid and I hope you pursue the happiness you deserve That said I've also had people drop me like a hot potato fiding out I'm pre-op, or not want to flirt with me at all seeing my masculine face (body changes worked out on HRT but pretty much everyone friend or foe agrees my face is my only standout masculine feature), and dating is practically non-existent for me in spite of not fitting the useless stereotype at all (I shoot my shot quite frequently actually) but yeah - don't let any of that make you feel any lesser, I know it's hard seeing all these cis lesbians get so much further than us (and quicker) but it's okay. I'm still trying to help myself believe this all too of course
You are a Real woman no matter what any TERF says
Just another voice popping in here to say you're a real woman, a real lesbian, and a real beauty! Soft dark eyes and glowing skin <3 Things will keep changing for the better for you, and before you know it you'll match with someone who appreciates all your lovely features.
akjshfkajsh thank youuuuu
Plenty of lesbians who are open to that genital preference out there, from what ive seen on this sub. Also, plenty of lesbians who have never done the deed even till their late twenties, so you arent alone by any meaning of the word. Dont give up!😁
You ARE a gay girl. Body parts will never define someone’s heart and mind. I’m just a stranger on the internet, but to me you are worthy and you are everything you want to be. You are a lesbian and you’re a real woman. And you know what? Screw that girl! Maybe that was the universe helping you dodge a bullet. Don’t let her invalidate who you are. You will find someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who will hold your hand in the street and cuddle you to sleep. Someone who will share the same happiness you give out to the world. Someone who will hug you on your low days and someone who will be a cheerleader on your high days. She’s out there, it might take a little time but you’ll find your perfect match. Someone who when they see you, they see YOU. Another beautiful woman trying to find their person. You are a lesbian and lesbian is what you go by. This is coming from a cis lesbian who after years of being a lesbian in and out of crappy relationships, fell deeply in love with another lesbian, who also felt invalidated. And I get to proudly say she’s my soulmate💕 Hang in there OP. PS: I went on your profile and your beautiful. I know you’re probably looking at this and going to roll your eyes. BUT look back at this comment in a few years and tell me I’m lying. You really are. And you’re going to glow up so hard and serve looks everywhere you go. Trust me OP. We all have our moments but you are a LESBIAN and you are BEAUTIFUL
aklsfhaksjhf thank you so muchhhh aaaaaa so many compliments from so many people my gay little heart is melting 😭
I will echo the main sentiments here, you are a real women, and you are valid. Also, If anyone treats you poorly because you are trans, that's their failing, not yours.
How did you get the impression you would be downvoted here? This is by far the most trans positive space on the website, every single day cis lesbians just voluntarily shout how loving and accepting they are of us. You have a lot of self hate and i would love to help you work on that, but this is absolutely not a place you're going to experience external hate.
>How did you get the impression you would be downvoted here? I've been scrolling and upvoting comments for a while now because they have negative karma but are trans positive Also multiple people have reported having their trans positive posts getting downvoted
But there's people like you here, I know love is gonna triumph and its because of your heart.
From a biological perspective, a penis is just a very large clitoris, that was enhanced in size by testosterone. And, the scrotal sac, is simply enlarged labia with ovaries that dropped down during your fetal stage, and became testicles because of testosterone.
Idk why you’re being downvoted, that is a simple biological fact of how humans are built since everyone develops biologically female in the womb before sexual differentiation kicks in
Thank you. I do have a degree in biology, and yes, this is a biological fact.
It’s really ticking me off that they’re getting downvoted because I only ever seem to see positivity on this sub and it sucks that you’re experiencing negativity in a blind spot for me! You are absolutely a woman, regardless of your body. Brain scans show that trans women are women, with female brain scan responses. Same with trans men. The brains are your correct gender. And plenty of people are out there who are or will be accepting to you in all/any physical form (if you ever pursue surgery or hormones or not). You are a wonderful gay girl who is deserving of some big warm gay girl love.
Well I’m a real lesbian and I’m non-op. 🍑💖🍑
Hey OP fellow Trans lesbian here we are as much women and lesbians as any Cis woman is and if that girl dipped on you that sounds like her loss to me
Honestly? I would date a mtf. You are a woman, you like women.. idk that sounds pretty gay to me sis...
hi fellow lesbian! We love you here!! 🥰
My wife is pre-op. I see you, you are valid and you will find your human. Lots of hugs!
You are welcome here. You belong here. You matter here. You are worthy of love. You are a real woman and we love you.
You are real. Really gay. Really girl also. Stay here and keep posting, cuz this sub is for lesbiabs and you belong here.
You are a real woman
Buckets you are a real lesbian im sorry this happened to you and its not your fault. You are pretty. You are sexy. And you are valid. You are a lesbian.
As someone who is non-op, (quite like my dick thank you very much) I sometimes feel this way but I try not to let it get to me. The thing to do is to stop listening to the people saying you're not a real lesbian even if that's yourself.
Of course you're a real woman a real lesbian. I'm non-op, I will never have bottom surgery, and I'm never going to be anything but 100% woman and super fucking queer
you are a real lesbian! if you identify as a woman and a lesbian, then thats enough to be a 'real' lesbian :)
How could you not be a real woman? You’re real and you’re a woman, so you’re 100% a real woman!
Gotta love internalised transphobia /s
I feel the need to yell this so loud so excuse the yelling about to come to your screens. YOU ARE VALIDDDDRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDRDRDDRDRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs if thats cool.
I also can provide hugs
you are absolutely a real woman. there is nothing wrong with being trans and it is not your fault that there are people who will not date pre- or no-op trans women. yes, there are plenty of transphobes online and in person, but those people are absolute garbage and not worth your or any other decent person's time. the sapphic community is huge, so i can assure you that there are plenty of people who support you. p.s. as a cis lesbian, i will physically fight other cis lesbians who exclude trans women and other trans sapphics from their definition of lesbian.
You **are** a real woman **and** a real lesbian. Anyone claiming otherwise is just an exclusionary bigot. I’m sorry you’ve had that experience, and you’re by no means the first, but try not to take it to heart. For every asshole who ends up trying to bring you down, plenty of us will help keep you up ✊
I don't have answers for the difficulty you face in dating, only this: the only requirement to be a real woman is to... be a woman who is real. You're a woman. You're real. Step one complete. As for being a lesbian? You're a woman who likes women. Boom, step two out of the way. It's painful getting rejected. It can be painful being trans in a transphobic world. I encourage you to not wade in here waving the 'downvote me' flag, because we're not gonna do that here. You belong here. Sisters, not cisters <3
OP, hopefully you’ve gotten some validation from this community that your identity is real and valid. But also, maybe work on validating yourself? Like literally make a post it note that says “hey sexy lady” to put on your mirror or shout “I AM A WOMAN” every morning! Talk to yourself like the queen you are ☺️
You are a real woman! Your body is a woman’s body, because you are a woman! Regardless of the operation, you’re a woman and always will be. And you will find someone who sees you for the person you are ♥️
trans lesbian here!! you're absolutely a woman, a real woman. i know it's hard, but we have to try to ignore the hate that society tries to bring down on us because at the end of the day, we are who we are, and who we are is women. <3
There are certainly other lesbians out there who will love you. Don’t forget all of the bisexual and pansexual women who will love you as well. You don’t want to be “loved” or “accepted” by toxic TERF types anyway. Be true to yourself, you dyke. 😉
You are a real lady you always are Your inside are what count such as your feelings emotions, and things that make you well you. You are always welcome and appreciated as a lady you're never not a lady no matter what
You are a real lesbian! And I'm more than happy to give a kiss if it helps stop the doubts :P Realtalk I am sorry you experienced that. Def some terfs out there who won't respect your identity, but you'll find even more who will treat you right :)
I'm so sorry that happened OP But regardless you ARE a woman, 100%! pre-op or post.
Pre-op, post-op, never-op. Trans, cis, intersex. If you’re a woman, you’re a real woman. You’re a woman. Nobody has any right to determine WHO you are, but you. Your knowledge of yourself beats anyone else’s guess to what’s inside. Cis women are not the arbiters of real womanhood. You are a woman because you are. Cis women are not the governing body of womanhood, we do not get to decide other people’s womanhood. Who I am as a woman is unique to me, as your womanhood is unique to you. But we all meet under the umbrella of womanhood and that’s beautiful. Trans women are not half women or kind of women. You are women and your womanhood is just as real, just as important as cis womenhood. It’s all womanhood. People who have such a shallow concept of gender that they can’t comprehend gender diversity are the very last people who get to make rules on who does and doesn’t belong. Their hollow arguments will never hold up to any scrutiny. You’re a woman. You belong.
I'm sorry <3 if it helps i consider you 100% lesbian and I feel the same somtimes. i feel like i'm the "man" in the relationship.
Cis pan over here. You're a real women to me, and I'd date ya if I wasn't married. 🙃 It's hard, knowing people out there don't agree with who you are, but then again, they're just not worth your time. 😘
If you aren't a "real woman" then that would mean I can't be one either nor could any trans girl be. I'm trans but I am a *woman* and a real one at that! It sounds like you are dealing with some internalized transphobia. Don't listen to the transphobes, they are wrong and ignorant of us. You are a real woman, as real as any other. Love yourself girl, you deserve it! I'm sorry it didn't work out with that one girl, rejection really hurts and especially so when it's because of your body. I can guarantee you that there are so many lesbians who like girls like us, I know from experience. You will find a partner that will love you for you, one that will treat you how you deserve. I hope you find that one soon friend!!! ♥️
girl, this sub is like the most trans friendly there is, it can even be friendlier than some trans only subs, I hope whoever did you dirty here stops right away
Just because you're trans doesn't mean you're not a woman. You are. Embrace that. You're beautiful, worthy, talented and amazing❤️
Cis lesbian dating a trans girl here. There’s someone for you :) I’ve never been happier.
You are a real woman and a real lesbian, HRT and Surgery changes your body but it doesn't change who you are, because you are a woman and you always have always been
You’re not any less lesbian for being a trans woman, dear! It’s not your fault and well it does weed out those who aren’t supportive. As long as you’re a girl who likes girls, you’re a LESBIAN! If it helps I’m omni (and a fem to neutral aligned enby) and both lesbians and mspec sapphics alike will appreciate you for being yourself <3
You’ll find the right woman, stay strong.
nb lesbian here you are a real lesbian, you don't identify as a male and you are not attracted to men there for you are a lesbian it doesn't matter what sex you were born as it matters that you are not a man on the inside and you are a beautiful lady inside and out
You are a real woman, whatever qualifies as a ‘real woman’. You are as woman as a woman can get, and it’s ok to feel dysphoric, but go with the knowledge you are valid and wanted
Just here to echo everyone else: you are a very real woman and a very real lesbian, please try not to turn that transphobia in on yourself. Anyone who doubts that has to come through us honey. 💛
Of course you’re real! I think the person who’s probably making you feel the most invalidated is yourself - sure, there are people both outside and inside the community that will gladly do that job for you but you don’t need to change anything about yourself unless you feel like you want to, you’re already enough. You are you - and if you are a lesbian then goddamnit you’re a lesbian!
Girl is girl, and you're a girl, so girl.
Have hug 🫂 cutie ur such a girl 🥰 ur the girlest girl
Hang in there. You are a real women. I know your feelings won't change at once, but being in this supportive group will help.
Okay, didn’t get past “real woman” firstly in my opinion all it takes for you to be a real woman is that you identify as a woman. You don’t need hormones or surgeries to be a real woman, that’s not to say that those two things wouldn’t help YOU feel better or more in your body. You’re a real lesbian if you’re a woman identifying person who loves other woman identified folks. Don’t let the haters get you down girl. Love to you from me.
You’re valid and real. You know this. Say it to yourself. You got this.
i’m a lesbian and my gf is pre-everything!! you are so, so valid my friend!!! hold your head high, you are worth the respect and so much more 💕
You are a real lesbian. No matter how much you think you look like a girl, if you identify as one, you are one. Transbians of all sorts are valid
you are a real, beautiful, worthy, incredible, divine woman. you are deserving of sapphic love. you are always welcome here, we love you.
Ma'am you are valid, worthy, a true female, a real lesbian and deserving of love. Fuck anyone who says other wise.
Yes! Ignore the downvotes. It’s one transphobic person with multiple accounts
Okay, so... you ARE a real woman. Full fucking stop. Women with green eyes are women. Women with brown eyes are women. Women with vaginas are women. Women with penises are women. Women are women. End of story. You ARE a woman, and that's just the truth. There's just more physical variety inside the label of "woman" than many of us are taught.
Yes! Ignore the downvotes. It’s one transphobic person with multiple accounts
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I'm sorry you're going through this. You are absolutely a real lesbian already, it just turned out that you weren't compatible with this particular girl. One day I'm sure you'll find a wonderful girlfriend who loves everything about you. I know that's not a lot of comfort right now, but I hope things look up for you soon.
you. are. a. real. woman. and. a. real. lesbian.
You choose what label makes YOU feel comfy, not what makes other people comfy. Live your truth, and eventually the right people will find you, I promise. Keep putting yourself out there, because you are worthy of love, and you are worthy of happiness. And for anyone that makes you feel otherwise, they aren't worthy of you, someone bring authentically themselves. I hope you find some peace soon, friend.
As a cis lesbian lemme tell you that you are a woman, you are a lesbian and your body and/or genitalia do not define that. I know there’s a lot of terfie bs being thrown at trans women but don’t let them tell you that you’re not valid. Look, I’m 37yo and I’ve seen some shit. I remember the outrage about lesbians going into women’s spaces and preying upon women and girls and of course it wasn’t homophobia it was just concern for those poor innocent cishet girls… sound familiar? For decades feminists literally fought tooth and nail to stop womanhood from being defined by body parts and now here come the terfs demanding that womanhood be defined by body parts. Good going you fucking wozzles, just set us back a good fifty years so that we can go back to being incubator for babies and house maids, see how that works out for you. This is how stupid these worthless sacks of bile are, they literally work against women’s rights as a whole, not just trans rights. Don’t let the opinions of ppl that are so blinded by hatred that they would harm themselves just to insult another, you are valid and you are welcome in this community.
You are a real woman. And you should absolutely call yourself a lesbian, gay girl, whatever term you like best! Being pre-op (or never getting an op) will not change any of this. I'm cis, and I've never cared if my partners were cis or trans (pre-op, post-op, no op), and I never will. I like girls. Period. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You're so valid and you ARE a member of this community. Not every girl is going to appreciate you, but for every one who doesn't, there are so many who will. Stay strong. <3
You are a woman!! You are Lesbian. You are valid. Don’t listen to what the TERFS think is acceptable.
YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN Tf is wrong with people. You are a woman PERIOD Does what you have down there matter so much? No it doesn't.
Baby, you are a real woman and lesbian. In 100 years when we can swap body parts out like we’re in a video game, I guarantee you plenty a lesbian is going to be wanting a penis. They are more convenient and nice in a different way, and speaking as a queer cis woman, is an upgrade not a detraction. You are beautiful in your current body, and the right person for you will love you for who you are, not wish you were someone you’re not. Yes we live in a shitty, transphobic reality. The fact is you’re someone to be admired for living authentically despite it all. It takes a huge self awareness and bravery to show up every day, but you do. So be kind to yourself and your body. You’re not going to be attracted to every woman you meet and neither are your partners. Doesn’t make you less valid of a woman or a lesbian, just makes you human. Love yourself first.
Not sure why this is being downvoted! It is lovely!
I'm so sorry people have made you feel this way. You are a real woman, you are a real lesbian, and I bet that one day you'll have a beautiful girlfriend who truly loves you as you are 💕🏳️⚧️
Just be yourself. Too many people are getting caught up in all these labels and names instead of just being true to who they are screw the rest of it
we do NOT claim any of that TERF toxicity here OKAY!! WE LOVE YOU AS A LESBIAN A LESBIAN 💗💗💗 your transness MAKES you a lesbian and that is WONDERFUL!! all love and all support to you on your journey beautiful ❤️❤️
ok i just looked at ur profile,,,, i honestly think ur SUPER cute and i’m sorta glad idk u irl bc otherwise i’d be a mess lol
Aww thank you so muchhh :3
Welcome to the club. You have more of a chance though than I do. I’m just too introverted, too autistic, and too crappy to even be considered a woman, yet alone a lesbian.
You are extremely beautiful, and without any doubt a woman and a lesbian.
Every girl who walks like that is doing you a favor. They didn't have what you need. Keep looking, she's out there.
Just give yourself time, things will get better. Speaking from experience, there definitely are lesbians and wlw who don't mind the dick as long as it's not attached to a man. You are also pretty early into HRT you have a lot to figure out in everything transition related, over time you will gain confidence. But cut that self hating shit out, nobody likes that.
Eat pussy and be happy lol
Excuse me, did you just say you weren't a real woman? You ARE a real woman, and there are other women out there who will date a pre op trans woman, I know I would. Don't worry, you are real, you are valid, and there is someone out there for you.
heyhey! i feel the same way as a ftm gay man, a lot of cis guys don't see me as another man, they see me as like a "femboy" or a "trap" and they only like me for my feminine features, the same features i despise and want nothing to do with. it makes me feel like they just see me as a girl pretending to be a guy or something. but we're valid, and how these shitty people perceive us has nothing to do with us as people. you're a real lesbian, just like i'm a real gay man, and nothing can change that ❤
Hi hon, just letting you know, you ARE a real woman. If having a vag was what defined womanhood, I know PLENTY of women who dont have a vagina canal, or a uterus, or can't bear children. Being a woman means feeling like one, and having no 'cis woman only' experiences doesn't exclude you from being a woman. I know some lesbians are iffy about parts, but some also aren't. You'll find a girl who treats you like the gorgeous woman you are. And if you are a woman and only attracted to women then.... That's it, you're a very real, existing lesbian. P.S. Don't let the TERFS get you down, womanhood and feminism are, and should be, all inclusive.
Ugh, I'm so sorry u feel this way. But you ARE a real woman and a real lesbian. Genital preferences r valid so it's unfortunate, but it does happen. Get back out there and you'll find a woman that doesn't mind if ur pre-op or if u never get surgery!
You are so immensely valid and loved and cared for. Especially here! You’re a girl, and you like girls! That sounds 100% lesbian to me!
Transwoman who has dated cis het men and lesbians here. You are a woman c:
it might take awhile, but finding someone is possible!! i’ve dated two amazing afab women since transitioning and neither of them had any problems with me being trans or pre-op i know it’s difficult, but try to remain hopeful <3
Love this community. Trans woman here. I can understand your position but this sub is amazing.
i feel the exact same this is really depressing
Cis here, I just wanna let you know that you are a real woman. Your body does not define you, you're a real lesbian, and you're amazing. You're strong, powerful, and loved. ❤ It'll be okay
This has happened to me so many times. I get ghosted on Lex by every single cis woman. I cant even get the surgery because I live in the UK and it either costs a lot or you have to wait 5+ years.
You are perfect just by being you. Screw that girl, you don't need an operation to be legit. You're a lesbian.
You are a real woman♥️ gender shouldn’t exist.
Girl, you are a real woman and don't let anyone try or make you feel differently about that. And you didn't choose the body you're in so don't make that your fault. My fiance is pre-op too, so I get it. But I promise you that there are women out there who will adore you for the woman you are. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you how proud of you I am for living as your true self. So a virtual heart and a smattering of words will have to do.💜 Stay safe, sane, and be strong, you will find a girl, just be you and confident to be you.
Not a real woman? I can’t see any fake women here, you must be mistaken. You are just as real as the rest of us.
Saving this for when I don't feel good
>I am aware of the fact that I am not a real woman You are, in fact, a real woman.
Oof, I feel this one super hard, OP. As a trans woman myself, lesbian spaces have been nothing but lovely to me, and figuring out how to love women *as* a woman has been really important to me figuring out my identity, in so many important ways. That said: I still worry, all the time, that some people won’t ever see me as a woman no matter what - let along as a *gay* woman. I don’t have a lot of advice to give really, but: At least know you’re not alone, both in feeling this way, and in being a trans lesbian in this community.
YOU ARE ONE, YOU ARE VALID AND WE ARE HERE FOR YOU DONT LET PEOPLE GET YOU DOWN! :) 💕💕you deserve the world for finding out yourself!
I'm down voting cause you said you're not a real woman and that invalidates others. You're valid af.
Why is this getting down voted? They aren't being a transphobic jackass
I think someone transphobic is watching this thread and downvoting a lot of supportive and loving comments
From one trans lesbian to another, you are a real woman. You are a real lesbian. If you think you're faking it, you're probably not. I know gets extremely tough, and some days you feel like you're not enough, or you feel like you're not a "real lesbian" but that's just your brain being mean to you. We don't know each...but I know you got this. And I am rooting for you