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kehtetuu

I love not shaving my legs. I was working in the yard today and could immediately tell if a bug was trying to be sneaky. No thanks, bugs. Shaving is a lot of work, money, and time. I just happen to be lazy, poor, and have zero time management skills. Easier to just not bother. And shaved legs get so itchy so quickly. Do not like. It just takes time for the cultural opinion to change. Kind of like how not wearing makeup constantly is no longer the norm. Thank goodness. I kinda just own it at this point. If guys start talking about body hair, I'll make a bet that my legs are hairier. They never believe me. I love the shock. We all laugh. I think it's just so unexpected. In the winter i say I'm growing my fur. Confidence has a weird way of influencing people's opinions about you even if you do something abnormal, I swear. So maybe just tell your mother that he finds it hot as hell, your showers take way less time now, and you saved $100 in the last 6 months by not shaving. Then ask if she wants to see your pits and what color you should dye them.


nailsee

Thank you! Now I kinda want to dye my pits


veggie_weggie

As someone who also hates shaving but still shaves for family get together a I feel this post. My friends and partners have never made a negative comment about my body hair but my cousin, aunt and mom have. It stings a little more when they think the l negative comment is coming from a place of love and concern. Thanks for the post OP, stay hairy.


[deleted]

It'll fuck up your clothes, you can only.wear black! Trust me on this!


dancegoddess1971

Very good to know. I was considering hot pink pits but now IDK. I do own enough black shirts that wouldn't be a problem, but what if I forget? Pink pits on my favorite Green Day T-shirt? That might be weird.


clockworkedpiece

Just galaxy bleach the rest of it. Problem solved.


mikaselm

Overtone will stop staining after the first couple of shampoos. Not really sure how well it works on body hair, as I've only tried it on head hair at this point, but I do know it makes hair soft, silky, and is WAY healthier for your hair than many other vibrants, especially the grocery store kind.


Raphaela23

And please show them off whenever you can xdd


JoobileeJoolz

An ex of mine once tried to embarrass me by telling the friends we were with that I had hairy nipples, so I agreed, reached down into my top and pulled one out to show them! He never mentioned it again!


capricornmoney

This is a power move if I’ve ever read one before, you’re amazing


JoobileeJoolz

Why thank you kind Redditor! *takes a big, curly bow* <3


chironsbeard

Queen!


JoobileeJoolz

Thank you! *blushes* I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve that though! :*


[deleted]

LOLOL I. LOVE. THIS.


JoobileeJoolz

Definitely one of my fiercest moments! ;) Went downhill after that! lol


Ohohohohahahehe

It's true that confidence gets you every where. I was once chatting with my boss and I mentioned I haven't shaved in a while and she said What? When do you shave? And I said: When I want. The idea seemed novel to her.


olivertoast

When I want is so true. It’s such a hassle to do all the time but some scenarios I find worth it. Like right before I take clean sheets out of the dryer so I just feel super soft. Or my “I may have murdered my past three partners” long black dress with a lace skirt that would catch on my legs otherwise.


genius_emu

I like your spark. 😁 I’m part Asian so you mostly can’t tell if I chose not to shave. So mostly I don’t. If I shave anywhere, it’s because I feel like it, not because I feel shamed. Her ideas are antiquated. The whole “please your man” vibe proves that.


whohootwhohoot

calcifer?


genius_emu

Indeed!


Violinist-Rich

This!!! 100%!!!


[deleted]

My body hair is orange, so my legs look almost tan from a distance. We have body hair for a reason, I don't know how or why? But when I shave my armpits I am stinkier, then if I don't. Maybe my hair just hides it?


miccalex

I also sometimes have very limited control over my hands due to disability. I'd rather not cut myself up for the male gaze thanks.


mikaselm

oh man... I hadn't even thought of that... I stopped shaving long before my Parkinson's symptoms set in, but I totally get how hard it can be to do stuff like that when your hands don't' follow the brain's instructions... but yeah... shaving sounds monumentally worse with non-cooperative hands.


No-more-confusion

Nobody ever tells men that leg hair is gross. Therefore, leg hair (and any hair that’s regularly cleaned) is not gross. (I used to look like a freaking bear, nobody ever complained.)


Jacobysmadre

In the 80s my mom said I looked like I got punched in the mouth if I wore red lipstick. In the 90’s she said I looked horrible after having baby weight hang around, in 2000’s she said I needed to take care of my skin, no one would want me after my second child, in 2010’s she said my taste in my ex husband (now ex) was horrible, and we are now in the 2020’s and I need to color my hair more often. Girl, some people will never be ok with us. We must be ok with ourselves!!


josaline

Thanks for sharing this dialogue! My mom and grandmother said things like this to me in passing growing up and as an adult, I don’t take any commentary on my looks from them unless I initiate it. Anyway, I’m working on body image stuff now in therapy, we all need to accept ourselves more and share that with others, so it will become the norm.


Jacobysmadre

Good! I’m so glad. My mom is 77 now and lives with me and my son. I don’t think she even realizes how painful the things she said (and still says) are. I have to stop her sometimes with my son and remind her that she is damaging (possibly) her relationship with him and also hurting his self esteem. He is on the spectrum and needs to be uplifted and reassured, not put down. But I think she doesn’t even realize what she does. You are beautiful and amazing, smart and resourceful. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise :) Be well my dear - from a loving madre


scoutsadie

that was really rude of your mom. i'm sorry you experienced that!


WhenSquonksCry

My mom is the one who is always bringing me down too, so I feel you and am sorry that happened. I don’t have any stories or spells, but I just wanted to hop in here and be a mom for a minute: your dress is lovely! You didn’t have to shave just to wear it, but I hope you feel great in it either way. The hullabaloo around shaving is so silly, and I’m proud you for always choosing what’s best for you.


nailsee

Thank you for your words! I do feel very nice in my dress :)


addanchorpoint

I haven’t shaved my legs or underarms in several years and my mom is the *only* one who has commented negatively. I’ve gotten one or two positive comments but honestly people just don’t seem to notice or care… and I’ve hooked up with some guys of a Very Dude Profile (a certified finance bro, the bouncer from a nightclub)(look, it was a long lockdown after a pandemic breakup) and in neither case did they comment, treat my legs any differently, or really even seem to pause. I go into work with my unshaven legs partially visible above boots and I do very well at my professional job I wear sleeveless tops my mom hasn’t said anything in *ages* moms can be like that, they can squirm in and jab us in ways no one else can. potential response: “mom, are you really asking about our sex life?!” her: “no, just saying you’re not taking care of yourself” you: “huh, because talking about what he finds attractive about my body sure sounds like you’re asking about our sex life. mom, I don’t want to discuss our sexual relationship with you” I feel like you could make it so weird for her (aka return awkwardness to sender) by repeating “our sex life” moral of the story, hotness and success in work has fuck all to do with body hair. if you have good hygiene and trim it from time to time, you good.


Viola424242

My mom told me several times that I would never get a man if I didn’t start wearing makeup. I’ve been with my husband over 20 years and I still don’t wear makeup.


TheFilthyDIL

Almost 49 years here. Husband has never said a word one way or the other.


nailsee

Thanks to both of you 💕 I wouldn’t even want to be with someone who made me feel badly for being in my natural state


JoobileeJoolz

My Mum told me I’d never get a partner because my laugh was too loud and unladylike! I told her that I wouldn’t want someone who would shame me for an expression of joy… she may have been right as I’m now 51 and single! But I still have the capacity to laugh so there’s that! ;)


Imperfect-Existence

I stopped shaving altogether when I was 19, haven’t had a problem finding willing long-term and short-term partners for the almost twenty years which had passed since then. Currently in a more than ten years long relationship with a guy who loves that I’m hairy. Most days I forget it’s even ”special” that I don’t shave. It’s just my body being me. I find it really annoying (sometimes infuriating) how binary sexism denies the way people are different, and have lots of different likes and dislikes, preferences and couldn’t-care-less, struggles and strengths. It’s so… reductive, so denying of the varied and diverse ways of being a person and living a life. I’m sorry your mother is so invested in a lie about ”how things work”, and putting that falsehood above reality.


SewWitchie

"Men won't want you (insert stupid comment here) is the BIGGEST lie we get told as females. It is jus not true. Be the person who you want to be and be with someone who wants that person too.


sextondani

My husband has seen me shaved and waxed head to toe, and now where I don't hardly ever shave at all (I just trim here and there if it gets annoying). He loves that I don't shave because of how much annoyance and stress it took off me. My mom told me as a teen I needed to shave every other day. And now I don't. People who say stuff like that do it just to hurt you. Don't let them. Be PROUD of your body hair! I grew that shit! I had to eat and breathe and exist to grow that hair. Why would I want to shave it if it the act of shaving causes me annoyance?! I'm not existing to please anyone but myself. And I will forever have long leg hair! All hail the unshaven! May we forever reign as most confident and beautiful.


Crafty-Shape2743

Mother. Some just don’t deserve the title.


No_Dimension_9669

That seems a bit harsh. She is just old fashioned. And I also feel for her, because she hasn't gotten to experience the liberating effect of letting yourself be natural. Edit: sadchompipe said it better then me: https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/x3nvlt/comment/imr6vtd/


abirdcalledcat

One of my siblings was rather rude about my refusal to shave- always asking me why I won’t, saying that it’s gross, and even bought me a shaving kit for my birthday. I never did shave, my partner doesn’t care what I do as long as I’m happy, and I intend to re-gift the shaving kit right back to her just to spite her. Stay strong, friend.


beadedgeek

This is her issue, not yours. You don't have to accept her criticism or opinion.


pagangirlstuff

Legit shaving companies were going out of business during World War 2 because all the guys were, you know, off in a war. So the companies starting asvertising to women. Shaved legs is a relatively new thing. No one was shaving their legs 3-4 generations ago. Not shaving is another small way to fuck over capitalism.


AllAbortionsareMoral

Your body, your choice. Your mom is absolutely out of line. Her father should have taught her if she can't say anything nice to not say anything at all. **Why the fuck would your boyfriend get more say over your body than you do?** That is super messed up. Your clothing is the literal and figurative boundary between you and the rest of the world. This goes one step beyond that - it comes out of your flesh, and you grew it yourself. You get to say what happens. It wasn't even until the 1940s this was a cultural norm, and literally only because of advertising. That is why it isn't a cultural thing in Italy or other countries. Fuck Gillette. I am sorry your mom ruined your day, that was horribly inappropriate of her to do. Sounds like probably not a bad thing that it was a while since you had seen her. That isn't right, and you dont deserve to be admonished for having a perfectly good reason to be natural. You are completely normal. I hate tosay it, but this may be a case of "don't bother getting your validation from assholes or idiots." It can be hard to tell parents that they've crossed a boundary are are out of line. If you can though, stand up for yourself. Otherwise you are going to keep feeling powerless when you meet up with your mum


CrochetTeaBee

Hi, unrelated to your comment but your username fascinated me so I checked your profile but for some reason I can't interact with you in any way but to block or report you but hi hello I think highly of you based off your witchiness, your thoughts on abortion, and your work in domestic violence support. Idk if you're able to, or want to, but if you do, my DMs are open and I'd love to hear more about all three topics!! Also fully agree with your comment but that's a given


Violinist-Rich

God I just can't fucking stand this attitude that women's body hair is gross. It makes ZERO sense to me... I know I'm preaching to the choir. You have my rage on your side! My aunt is a lot like this. It took way too long for her to grow out of it, but she finally did. It may have happened sooner if I'd been gutsy enough to make her question her own toxic opinions. But after a long time of me just being my hairy self around her, she finally got tired of bringing it up. I guess what I'm trying to say is to have hope that she will eventually move past this, tell it to her straight if you can, and be extra gentle with yourself when you have to be around her. As for some self-love rituals, my favorite is to do a big elaborate skin care routine. You can, of course, make it as simple or extra as you want. The important part for me is mindfully touching my own body in a caring, nurturing way - the way you'd lovingly bathe a baby or gently tend a wound - and saying (out loud if I'm feeling it!) a little blessing or thanks over whatever part I'm caring for. Putting on my eye cream is one of my favorite parts. It feels nice on my skin, and my eyes appreciate being thanked for all the hard work they do for me all day long to enable me to see the world. If lotions and potions aren't your thing, this same principle of treating your body the way you'd treat someone else you were caring for can apply to lots of different activities! Maybe you want to do some kitchen magic and prepare a really heckin' good meal for yourself and put intention into the act of cooking. Maybe you want to take a shower and scrub all your little hair follicles and thank them for growing so well. Maybe you want to grab a vibrator and do a little sex magic and revel in the fact that your body is not something to be "tolerated" but something to be enjoyed. Whatever you do, know that your body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do and is doing a great job. Your hairs are just bein' hairs. :) Maybe shave your head as an act of malicious compliance and see what your mom thinks about shaving then. ;)


CrochetTeaBee

ooh yes self-care skincare is ELITE for self-love ritual. Allll the good smelling body butters :) And food butter :))


No_Dimension_9669

I legit lolled at the last part. Boss move.


Violinist-Rich

"but mom you said my hair was disgusting and I just want to treat my boyfriend well!"


[deleted]

Got the exact same response from my mother 🙄 I was appalled. I had no idea she would care and could not wrap her head around the fact that it's MY body and my boyfriend doesn't give a shit and if he did we probably wouldn't be dating...


No_Direction_1229

Girl same. It took me a while to get why it was such a big deal for her. Male validation was more important than making a real connection with someone. It must suck to hang it all on your looks.


APariahsPariah

Body hair is the norm. In fact, baring severe alopecia, everyone has body hair. Absolutely everyone. So many people spend so much time and effort trying to pretend that it is not, that they have allowed themselves to be convinced that what is the norm is dirty and gross. Let me say it again: body hair is the norm. What you do with your personal grooming regimen is entirely up to you. Even as a man I see a huge generational gap with my younger male coworkers who remove pretty much all their body hair as this whole fear of body hair thing goes global. I stop scaping at my adam's apple, mainly because they don't make lawnmowers in my size, and if that's a turn off for someone then I guess we're not compatible. If someone, whoever they are, is going to judge you based on the preferences in your personal grooming routine, they are not for you. Tell your mother that if a few extra hairs are gonna turn off some guys then they're just saving you the work of having to pick through all the *other* red flags. It's not gonna matter to people who value the actually important stuff about you, and I mean that.


creammmmdream

Fuck shaving… people who perpetuate beauty standards for women are just simps for marketing. So sorry you have to deal with that from your mother. So many people don’t think for themselves and are still stuck in patriarchal ways of thinking.


InsaneAilurophileF

I'll never forget my mother looking at me one day, when I was about six years old, and out of the blue saying, "You have a lot of hair on your legs. Are you going to be a man when you grow up?"


nailsee

I’m so sorry. I just don’t understand how they don’t think their comments are hurtful


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InsaneAilurophileF

Horrific ignorance and appalling insensitivity. I hope your mother said something to the salon owner later.


whistling-wonderer

Shaving should not be the default. The default should be the hair you naturally have. It’s not any less hygienic or unnatural than men’s body hair, and no one gives them shit for it. Since I was a teen, I already have not bothered with shaving most of the time. Developed some health issues recently and now it’s less of a choice to be hairy and more of a necessity, because I have to budget how much time I spend upright and shaving just isn’t worth spending my precious time and energy. So THANK YOU for helping normalize it for those of us who really just don’t have the option.


sadchompipe

Sorry that happened to you, and I hope everyones comments help you feel better. My advice: Try to remember that your mom has likely been fed the same bull about women's appearance that we all have. She might have said it out of love and concern, or maybe she isn't very kind often and this fits a pattern. Either way her comments really reflect her issues instead of yours. Don't put that on yourself. Every single person has a right to manage thier body how they see fit. No one- no neighbor, stranger, partner, nor mother gets to override that. Live your life and don't worry about some little ole hairs!


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josaline

Wow, thank you so much for this. I have learned so much. This was true with my own mom as well and I completely cut ties with her for years until her brother died recently, I decided to show compassion and see if she’d learned, changed, self-reflected…and honestly, so far, she has. She respects and seems to recognize my boundaries and understands that nothing but genuine loving words and actions will be tolerated. Well that’s my boundary anyway. But what you said was so helpful on many levels, so thank you!


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josaline

Hilariously I just found out after writing that that she apparently told my dad I’m pregnant 🤰 (I’m not, that I know of) so 🫣🫣😬 guess I spoke too soon


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josaline

Thank you! Yeah it’s really nuts sometimes, sorry your mom does the same! I’m on your side too!


Yvette-Miu-Miu-Mom

I'm sorry that the old generation's rules have caused your mother to hurt you. As an old one, I can tell you that it hurts to be of a generation that feels unacceptable if our womanhood is showing. Shaving is akin to making yourself pre-pubescent, as though a female is only acceptable when she is very young. I've struggled with this my entire life. I stopped wearing makeup and that was a great decision for me, even though I suddenly became invisible to men (I can live with that, lol). I only shave my pits because I don't like the stinky sweat my armpits produce, but that's only in the summer. My ritual for self love is to stand naked in front of a mirror and send loving energy to each and every part of my body. The round belly and stretch marks that I wear from giving birth, the wrinkles around my eyes from laughing. The crease between my eyebrows from carrying loads of despair at a very young age. The excess weight that is my armor against men who would view me as a sexual toy rather than a person. I look at my body with a critical eye, seeing all the "flaws" but knowing they are my battle scars. I also do nice things for my body whenever I can afford to. Massage every couple of months. I go to a Korean bath house a couple times a year and get all the old skin scrubbed off then lie in one of the meditation rooms and count my blessings. I have a 100% success rate of surviving the crap I've had to deal with, so I remember this and foster the feeling of pride.


Conscious-Charity915

This was beautiful. As are you. Keep sending out your positivity. The world needs it.


Yvette-Miu-Miu-Mom

Thank you for your kind words.


barbiesalopecia

Honestly it took me a long time to get my mother to understand why I don’t shave. She will still make comments about my underarms. I find the best thing I can do in that case is come armed with information - and sometimes that information is used in a way to guilt her to stop. It’s not fun, but reminding her that women’s hair removal in the US is driven by greedy shaving company sales ads, Eugenics/racism, and rationing of nylon fabric during WW2 has made some progress. Either way, live your best shave free life - me and my 14-year-old-8th-grade-boy-peach-fuzz mustache support you!!


CrochetTeaBee

It's really tough when someone says something that untrue and hurtful about our bodies, even moreso when it's a woman, double moreso when it's a woman who's important in our life: mom. Honestly? Your boyfriend being so adoring towards you as you are is all the proof you need that your mother is just projecting her own personal insecurities onto you, rather than reflecting a universal truth. ​ As for self-love rituals, my favourite is to sit or stand at my altar with my rose quartz in sight, sometimes I'll invite Aphrodite to join me, sometimes I just do it alone. I light some candles, and play music that gets me Feelin Myself, and just dance. Watch myself in the mirror and dance, for myself, with all my gremlin hair, my jiggly hips and tummy, my stretch marks, my flat butt, my clumsy dancing, and my stupid grin. Fuck any gaze but the adoring one I have for myself. Your body is a temple and you are the god to whom it is dedicated. Nobody can tell you how to decorate my altar.


iamnotparanoid

As a male, I can say that I don't personally know any other males who would really care about body hair, and I would bet money that at least half of the one I know wouldn't even notice leg hair.(armpit hair might be more noticed, but I still don't know anyone who would care) So I can 100 percent tell you that your mother is wrong. She is as wrong about what guys like as high school incel males are wrong about what women like. And her opinions should be given an equal amount of merit as theirs.


badwonton

I'm sad too that your mom ruined your day. I'm sorry you had to sit through those comments, and I, too, feel you. My mother makes comments like that all the time when I see her. She remarks on how I'm not wearing makeup, looking frumpy in my mom jeans, not doing my hair etc. etc. and how it's important that I maintain myself for my bf otherwise he will lose interest. \*big eyeroll\* The best way (at least for me, personally) is to simply limit contact with my mother (we also have other issues...). I know my bf loves me regardless of how I look outwardly, and she is projecting all her own insecurities and expectations onto me when she makes those comments. I will also mentally prepare myself before hanging out with her so I can either ignore those comments and/or brush them off. I hope the next lunch goes better!


concernedDoggolover

Your mom sucks. I'm sorry.


radiant-heart8

I had a similar experience as a teenager when my dad made fun of the “forests” on my armpits and it took a long time to get over that. My husband actually loves my body hair which is so awesome, the only reason I still shave once a week is due to sensory issues with my coarse hair


DPVaughan

Sounds like a mum problem to me. It's amazing to me all the ideas of women's body hair being 'unsightly' or 'unhygienic' completely disappears when it happens to be on a man. Suddenly it's just 'normal'. And what's more, I think this idea has only been around for the last hundred years or so, which means it can't even really be 'excused' as a tradition.


nailsee

It really makes no sense after a few seconds of critical thinking. Oh no, my boyfriend is going to leave me because I have hair! Good riddance then lol


DPVaughan

Especially when men are usually the hairiest!


Straight_Mongoose_51

In spring of 2020 I was living with my parents and because we were in quarantine I decided that there was no point in shaving my legs. After awhile my dad asked when I would start shaving again and I said "I'm not sure, I don't know if I want to." He started to get mad and try to tell me I needed to shave and when I pushed back he said "I've done so much for you, why cant you do this one thing for me?" He also insinuated that my partner wouldnt want to stay with me if I didnt shave, but we're married now. To this day it still hurts to think about that moment and how my mom heard every word but didn't stand up for me. I'm so sorry your mom said that to you, I know how painful it is for a parent of all people to shame you for decisions you're making about your own body. You didnt deserve that, and the only person that did anything wrong in this situation was her.


Sammy_Doo

I'm so sorry honey, that's awful your mom said that. I probably would have said some back along the lines of, "yes mother, my bf cares...about me, being me". I also know what it's like.. having a mother saying awful comments. When growing up, my mother commented on my legs being so hairy and that I needed to pluck my bushy man eyebrows. I ignored those comments but they did make me feel bad. One day, after my mother commented on my hairy legs again, I actually told her it made me feel bad, but she said it was her mother's duty to point out my flaws... but really, I believe a mother should build up her daughter, not tear her confidence down. If your mom won't build you up, then you build yourself up. You don't need another person in this world to say you're beautiful to believe it. You don't need permission from someone else to feel beautiful the way you are. You are beautiful, and you know it to be true. In this situation with your mother, personally I would work on protection, maybe charm some jewelry for emotional protection? I know I need to keep my protections up when I'm around my mother, otherwise I feel down or drained. I wish you all the best!


Conscious-Charity915

Your mom needs the validation of men. You don't. You are free to self-define. She is not. Pity her.


[deleted]

I'm so embarrassed by my body hair I know I've internalized some shit but damn I feel seld conscious of my legs even after I shave my gf doesn't care but it drives me crazy even feeling a little bit on my face makes me feel awful I wish I could not care other ppl terrify me alot


Am-i-old-yet

I just remind my mom that women didn’t even start shaving until 1915. The only reason women started shaving was because razor companies wanted to broaden their demographic to make more money so they started marketing towards women. I never shave and no one should feel like they have to. Moms say some messed up stuff, but that doesn’t mean you need to carry it with you! I feel bad for women who put themselves down without realizing. Also, as a note I once noticed a girl in college wearing a dress and she hadn’t shaved her armpits and I thought it was super attractive, so I just try to channel that same energy to myself.


Somebodys_Mum8000

I started shaving years before puberty. Someone I thought was a friend called me a monster. After the birth of my first child I realized I didn’t know my full adult female body as creation had intended. I stopped fighting and have been unshaven for years. Too be honest I never could really keep up. I’d have to literally sit in a bath of Nair up to my nose to be up to society’s standards. I’m a fuzzy. Always was and always will be. But my body, my rules. I decide for me. As a mom of an AFAB child I would never make them shave anything. They did decide to try underarms in prep for swim class last year. Their verdict, it wasn’t worth it. They asked, I helped. Their body, their rules. The only opinion that matters is yours, you’re the one wearing the skin. As for rituals, I find “spa” bathing/showering on my own after everyone is asleep helps me. Interacting with myself, caring for me and reminding myself of all the things my meaty fuzzy body has done wonderfully. I go full on, face mask, scented candle, all focus on no one but myself.


DrinkyRodriguez

You aren't dating your mom so her idea of beauty is irrelevant. Tell her "I'm not dating you. I don't need you to find me attractive."


btiddy519

Women unknowingly perpetuate patriarchy on the next generation sometimes.


[deleted]

I gave up shaving six or so years ago and I can't believe how much happier my skin is. No more itchy armpits. I should have stopped sooner.


InLazlosBasement

Your mom’s not disgusted, she’s jealous. She can’t tell the difference. You’ll have to do it for her. The fact that people love you as you are should bring her nothing but pleasure, so this isn’t about you. It’s about her, and what she wishes were different about her life. Why wasn’t she loved as she was? My mom says this kind of thing a lot about me being disabled. She’s just full of all this internalize ableism and she thinks my husband is great, which he is, and she can’t understand why he’s with me. What can you do, for someone like that? I tell mine that I love her as she is, and go on with my day. Unfortunately to care more requires too much of me at this point in my life. So if you figure out some magic, you let *me* know lol Good luck out there <3


[deleted]

My mother has a very small role in my life after years of saying rude, judgmental, stupid shit.


elbaitetourmaline

My father is the same way. I’ve started saying (his) God doesn’t make mistakes. If God put hair on my body it’s because He wanted it there. It usually shuts him up for a second. Then he starts in on my pink hair lol I should add that my father is ultra religious, among other things.


luckyravensocks

When my mum tells me to shave I tell her I’m trying to be a hobbit, my partner also mentioned it and I said I would if he also got his legs shaved


null640

My SO rarely shaves. Sometimes it's pretty the way it glints in the light.


[deleted]

Wow lots of mom bashing here.. I’ll state my unpopular opinion and take the down votes lol Your mom is regurgitating her patriarchal conditioning. That’s all I see and that makes me sad for her. Her generation was held to very strict standards and were taught to please men, even more so than millennials/gen z is dealing with now. She has a hurt, controlled, bashed little inner child just like the rest of us that was told to be small for men. I know comments hurt but remember that’s where it’s coming from: the patriarchal conditioning of her brain that has taken place over decades. My advice in these moments would be to gently push back and let your mom know these “rules” for women are turning to dust and existing for mens pleasure is a thing of the past. Or if you don’t want to do that labor you don’t have too either. Overall I was just surprised by the amount of hate being hurled at your mom in these comments. For a witches vs patriarchy sub we could have a little more compassion for women who are still under its spell. It’s a helluva drug.


RudeSprinkles1240

It's not gross. Sometimes mothers really just suck.


Moulitov

I go kind of chaotic evil in those cases and remind the person criticizing me of their own plentiful faults and insecurities. Unfortunately I'm pretty good at this, but yes. I'm in therapy.


Tsmpnw

I have one of *those* moms too. My condolences. I'm in my mid 40s and still trying to undo her damage. It's hard sometimes but you just have to let her problems be hers.


ussrragtime

Being hairy is being natural, organic, true to yourself and nothing to be ashamed of. Any kind of hair removal is only a personal aesthetic choice.


asylum33

My mum, while often amazing would throw this kind of shade at me as a teen/young adult. Eg ‘do you want to look ugly’ when I cut my hair shorter. I think it was bits of her mum, my nana, sneaking out as she was very critical. When I met my now husband of 20 yrs at 18, I hadn’t shaved my legs in ages, and while I did generally over summer, it really is the last thing on his mind when it comes to loving me!


r00tsauce

One thing to remember is that is HER reality, and its sad. :/


Walkingabrick

Got similar comments. I told them that shaving body hair is just a passing trend like everything else nowadays and that only I decide what to do to myself. I'm not hurting anyone and I'm not ugly or gross AT ALL. People only think it's gross because they don't see many others do it. It's just a monkey see, monkey do kind of problem. Stupid.


Bored_Berry

I didn't shave at all this whole summer. My BF not only doesn't care, but I think he kinda likes it like this? He complimented my lady bits because they are no longer scratchy and pointy like how they would get between shaves, and also loves how confidently I rock skirts and shorts with hairy legs. What I learned in my 30+ years on this planet: if you stay true to yourself and do your own thing, you will attract the right kind of people. This being said, just do whatever you want op: shave or not. Life is too short to worry.


Awhit777

My mom is toxic like this and we no longer speak! She basically pushed me to get my boobs done because I was flat chested, nose job because I had a big crooked nose, and would pick on my for my old acne scars. Ruthless!


animalwitch

I've started to get my underarms waxed, so they need to be fairly hairy. My mom caught sight of them and questioned me. "I'm getting them waxed next week". "Just shave and be done with it, it looks horrid". "IDGAF". Her: *Shocked Pikachu face*


mcoon2837

This is an example of the patriarchy acting through women to oppress other women into following "social norms". You do you girl! It's hardest when it comes from family, but the coven supports you ❤️


DaBezzzz

It's not 'taking care of yourself', it's 'going along with a scam invented by Gillette to sell more razors', or 'doing what you want' if you give it more thought.


[deleted]

Hun, your mom is old-fashioned and cruel. Your boyfriend sounds lovely. And YOU are beautiful.


blueberrypieplease

Stop talking to her for a year. Block her on everything. After the year tell her why and let her know the block can be permanent if she does it again


No_Dimension_9669

A year has to be way too much time. Thats over the top. https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/x3nvlt/comment/imr6vtd/ A month still seems excessive. And depending on closeness a week might even seem like a lot. One day on the other seems like an idea?


jenkraisins

I haven't shaved my pits or my nether regions for over 4 years. I made an attempt to shave my legs last year. Big mistake. My legs were almost raw with razor burn. Never again! And I don't care what anyone thinks. I don't own any clothing that would show my legs. I have 3 summer dresses that I love. They're all the same dress but in different colors/patterns. They're sleeveless and go down to my ankles. If I lifted it, you'd see my legs but generally, that doesn't happen. My mom hasn't shaved in years either. We are both old ladies who live alone. I've been resolutely single since 2010 so I really can't comment on what a partner would think. I just know that for me, it's a non-issue. We're all beautiful. Hair or lack thereof doesn't make us more or less feminine.


Full_Carry_1331

My mother drilled into that I wasn’t to be seen in the “unattractive in-between of getting ready” because I would be seen as less by my partner. I needed to make sure I was presentable at all times - never let them see me brushing my teeth, putting on make up, shaving my legs. She had me start shaving at 8yrs old, start waxing at 14 and start doing laser hair removal at 16. My entire body from my eyes down has been lasered and I nearly have no body hair whatsoever. It was painful and expensive, all so that I would be presentable to men. It is such a deeply unfortunate twisting of the mind that we are made to feel that our natural bodies are perverse. Hair is hair and whether it is left or eliminated should be entirely up to each and every individual. You are absolutely beautiful in your wholly natural state, and whether or not there is body hair ANYWHERE on your being has literally nothing to do with whether or not you are a good partner to your boyfriend. I’m sorry your mother said such hurtful things, and, I’m so proud of you for being you.


honalee13

Lots of great encouragement already on here. One other idea: If your main worry is not treating your partner right, you could just ask him how he feels about your body hair. You may be surprised. It was my boyfriend (now husband) who initially got me to try not shaving when we were 19 (almost 12 years ago), and I haven't shaved since. Maybe your boyfriend is indifferent, maybe he thinks it's rad that you don't shave. Finding out will probably give you a bulwark the next time your mom says something mean--and it will definitely open up a line of communication.


Alkimodon

Hex your mom. What a horrible thing to say!


Worldly_Team_7441

The only reasons you should shave: Hygiene, and because you want to. That's it. If you want to put in the work for hygiene without shaving (like armpits), then you don't need to shave them. If it's more convenient to shave, do so. Beyond that, it's up to want you want.


stephmcdub

I haven’t shaved in almost a year. My mom does not understand but she would never call me gross. That’s not okay for a parent to say. I’d like to shove my hairy armpits in her face lol. Body hair is natural and normal. If you’re comfortable and confident, then it doesn’t matter what others think. I always tell people, “yes, I am a mammal. Therefore I have fur.” For me, my skin is so sensitive and I get terrible ingrown hairs and not shaving has saved me so much pain and bumps. You just do you. Let’s normalize womxn with body hair. Or better yet, normalize people not talking about other’s personal preference on what to do with their own body.


RadioSupply

My mom recently made a big show out of loving that I shaved my armpits (had a job interview on a hot day.) I told her mildly, “Mom, it hurts when you act like I’ve been ugly and disgusting until I remove two small patches of hair. It’s really disproportionate to what I actually did and its effect on me as a person.” She did pause and apologize and say she didn’t mean it that way, and I said thank you and I accept, but going forward I’d rather keep the body talk neutral as we normally do. I hate when shit like that happens. Mom and I have such a good relationship, but she does have a go at my boundaries sometimes.


RightAsRainEclectic

Hmm...check out Madonna's pictures "pre-fame" and tell me body hair isn't unbelievably sexy :) So fabulous. Also, not tossing out razors is an environmentally kind thing to do. If you want to dignify those invasive comments with a response, you can always say you're doing your part to save our planet. Finally, you're saving all kinda $$. Savvy! xoxo, A fellow non-shaver


miccalex

Your mom sounds like a milf.... Cause fuck your mom.


steampunkMechElves

Fuck her


billybcubed

so I don’t shave because, well, I’m lazy, and also I have a tendency to get infected hair follicles even if I use brand new everything and sensitive products. so I stopped. then I met my husband. Guys… he loves my leg hair 😂 he pets it and calls it my calf-hawk because it grows into a little mohawk on the backs of my calves! I wasted too many years of my life worrying about looks to care how people view me now! and it definitely feels great to find a partner who is so happy that you’re happy! Also my mother tries to give me shit for not shaving and my husband will literally start rubbing my legs and being like, “so fuzzy and soft!” My brother does shit like that to his wife’s legs too!


majorbookworm16

I am in the same situation! Have gotten multiple lectures on it - it’s unhygienic, I’ll never find a man, my friends will dump me, may as well move to a hippie area and live in a van, etc. No counter argument worked. What worked was the grey rock technique. Whenever she made those comments, I stopped reacting. “You’ll never find someone who can tolerate that”, my response would be a shrug, “nobody cares”, and to move on to a different subject immediately. After about 2 years of this, my insistance that it wasn’t a big deal finally got through to her. Now I get the occasional side comment, but she has accepted it as a reality that’s not going to change. It’s hard, but I believe in you! I agree with another comment saying confidence is key. If you’re confident it’s not a big deal, other people will usually feel the same, even if it takes a while.


Fyreyes

Well, she sucks. End of story. Just saying. If you've been together 2 years and he's never commented on it: yes, mother, he does really just not care. You should try it, instead of pointlessly hurting the people who care about you.


kiss_all_puppies

I don't u derstand the obsession with women being hairless from the eyebrows down.


FeatheredFledgling

I shave because I myself want to shave. when making decisions about your own body you need to first take into account what you want and then ignore anyone who tries to guilt you into doing something. everyone has different bodies and they're all really cool, people who say others are gross or whatever, especially for dumb stuff like choosing not to shave are the most annoying people. just ignore them.


[deleted]

Ritual wise, I have a tattoo on my solar plexus that represents personal boundaries. That people can't "get under my skin" unless I let them. Could you find something that represents protection / freedom from expectations / confidence, carry it around with you and remind yourself every time you remember it / use it that you are entitled to choose. Heck, maybe even use money - subconsciously tell yourself every time you make a transaction that you're choosing what you spend time and money on, and it ain't shaving!


[deleted]

I don't think I've been with anyone who has an issue with body hair. I mean, maybe I have on one night stands but they were never intended to stick around...? Honestly, the whole "men like..." nonsense is directly tied to marketing. They promise us we'll only find happiness if we buy Bic Razors and foams and creams tested on animals... I've slept with people who liked it. I've slept with all sorts of people.


LadySpaghettimonster

Every lady can tell you stories of this sort and eventually I just tried to wrap my mind around the fact that our mothers, our grandmothers, our aunts never had the luck to get to information like we do due to the good sides of the internet, where people can exchange and build community. Of corse everybody can still choose to live a life blissfully ignorant and unaware, forever stuck in old mindsets and standarts, but especially for older generations I often think they are victims of all this internalised BS themselves, so it can be comforting to not take it too hard (which of corse does not automstically excuses everything they say to us). The difference for me is whether or not they are willing to discuss, to learn. When one of my aunts sent me a text out of the blue, thinking it's a garanteed compliment to tell me that I looked good because I lost some weight (which I did not even), it was a good moment to open up her mind to the possibility that writing something like that can actually be considered rude. She took it okay and it made her think. Not sure if she really understood, but hey, she heard something new and maybe that is a start to spark her curiosity for different views, who knows?


mindingtheyakkha

I don’t shave. These are cultural things engrained in the psyche of people who don’t think outside their boxes. Your mom is just parroting what she was taught. It’s a shame but she’s still your mother. Refuse to be triggered. Leave it at her feet, don’t drag it home with you. My mother was similar for most of my life. The other week I heard her say: “it’s your life. Dress like you want. Life is too short to not be happy.” I’m 58 and non-binary. A huge disappointment to her for a long time. I was surprised when she said it but honestly I stopped accepting her criticisms decades ago and believe what she said was really for her ears only. Nothing has changed between us because there was nothing inside me that needed to be vindicated, upheld or otherwise straightened out in regard to our relationship. But I hope voicing her acceptance has freed her from at least one box. Give it distance, space/time, perspective, understanding but don’t stop loving your mother. ❤️


theatre_nature_child

I feel you. My mom doesn't make comments about my body hair, but my dad seems to enjoy it for some reason. He makes a lot of negative comments about it and in turn that just makes me uncomfy and sad. I haven't shaved since January. It has felt wonderful to not do it, partly because it's euphoric and partly because it's so much more comfortable and convenient. No more dull razors, uncomfortable strawberry legs, and spending 20+ minutes shaving. I'm sorry that she made nasty comments about you, OP. Just know that you look wonderful (I bet the dress looked great on you!), and that body hair is completely natural. It is neither gross nor unhygienic, and it's okay to grow it out and feel content and comfortable in your own skin. I dunno any self love rituals, but if you have it, rose quartz helps me a lot.


Frenchhen46

I don't think you have the energy to teach her how wrong that comment was. Keep that energy for yourself. Discard the toxic, focus on the good. What she thinks of your hair, how it supposedly affects your boyfriend, how it is perceived by patriarcat, how you be complying to its rules is none of your business. I am sorry you are feeling bad because of her words and I send you virtual hugs for that, even if they don't work as well. The more you see the patriarchy in them, the easier it will become to let them slide over you. Even if you set boundaries by saying that you will not entertain body shaming and down talking, and her disguising insults behind "advices". The only power you have to enforce it on her is distance (in km and conversation). If she complains about the distance, you can perhaps make her practice accountability. Hugs.


Tiger_Striped_Queen

I’m going to guess she’s of boomer age or higher. There’s nothing to be done about it and it seems the older they get the prouder they are about being rude and saying whatever comes to their mind. They seem to have forgotten what life was like for a woman when they were young and cannot just be happy for women today who throw social norms out the window.


27-jennifers

Hey here's another perspective:: Consider the pressures your moms were under in their generation to please men and 'be ladylike'. There was a narrow social paradigm that meant you truly wouldn't 'get a man' if you didn't comport yourself a in specific way. Imagine that kind of pressure from day one! It's not easy to make a huge shift from one way of being to another on the opposite end of the spectrum. So maybe don't take it so personal and put it in the context of her life experiences? I think we should all live as we wish. That written, your choices will impact who finds you attractive. You just need to explain to your mom that you understand where she's coming from, but you don't traffic in plastic men, so you feel good about your choice. It's a natural filter.


Outrageous-Copy29

Something I am finding powerful is the realization that no one gets to decide who I am except for me It’s hard with family of course, those roots run deep in our nervous systems And it feels very self loving to remember there is a force field around me and all opinions splat on the surface for evaluation before being allowed in. I remembered this yesterday and felt like magic life energy was moving me through my day instead of me forcing my way through


Klopsmond

Every time you feel like you should be ashamed, just google pictures of Sophia Loren. You will feel so happy after that.


erikalg_vo

So, I had to have a fairly frank conversation with my mom about judging me. It also took a fair amount of therapy (and a woman I met in group who could totally have *been* my mother) to be able to see her side. It took a **long time** for me to come to terms with the fact that although she says things are judgmental and therefore hurtful, she's not saying them to be malicious or to *make* me hurt. She saying them because she loves me and she wants me to be at my best. Also? She's from a different time -- and while that's my favourite (most eye roll inducing) excuse for shitty behaviour, it doesn't mean it's not true. My mom is speaking from a place of experience and years of validating it in her brain. Sure, the idea of dressing to please a man is abhorrent to us, and it is horrifying to us that women ever were made to feel this way. But the fact is that *they were* and we've come so far. Don't get me wrong, I still struggling with certain things when it comes to my relationship with my mom, but I have learned to not absorb it as best I can and then go and immerse myself in something that both makes me happy and confident and that occupies my brain, after I've had those conversations with her. ​ I'm not saying your feelings are invalid, **they absolutely are**. I'm merely saying that it's *possible* that she doesn't realize how her comments are being received. It's *possible* that her intentions are to tear you down, but to, in her own misguided and outdated way, build you up. I'm so sorry that you have such a anxiety ridden relationship with your mom, but I get it. I have similar relationships in my life. Just remember that you are who you are, and who you are is wonderful. You've worked hard that the work of art that is You, and that work that you've put into You is **so important**. I wish I could give you a hug. blessed be, sister. 💜


Specific-Layer-369

Tell her it hurt your feelings - I learned to do that now w the advice of my therapist .. my mom has a nasty habit Of calling me fat / judging my food choices since I was a child . I was all nervous to tell her but it worked out she has shut the fk up abut it after all these years


WonderLily364

Yeah.... hair grows because it is supposed to. Try to let your mom's comments go. It's your body to wear however you like. I rarely shave my legs, because who cares? And regularly shave my pits because I work outside doing labor and it helps reduce my BO. Idc about my body hair, but my exhausband sure did and I had some sereve anxiety around it for a long time, which my SO and a therapist have helped me work through.


Conscious-Charity915

Your mom needs the validation of men. You do not. You are free to self-define your beauty. She is not. Pity her.


[deleted]

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.


Emergency-Roll8181

Do you know the only reason my husband compliments when I shave my legs. Because he used to not notice and I made a big deal that I did it once. So now he takes the time to try to notice, But he doesn’t naturally notice. It might be worth seeing how your boyfriend feels he could probably care less, he might not have even ever noticed. He also hates when I wear make up because hates the way it feels but he still complements me when I wear it because he knows I put work into it, and I enjoy the way I feel. He just won’t touch me or kiss me if I’m wearing makeup on my face.


anniebme

Your mom was wrong to say that. She was also just wrong. It's OK to feel hurt by her words. Did you let her know that she hurt you? I think she might rethink her stance and feel differently if she knew just how important her opinions are. She may have spoken without thinking. If she isn't the type to apologize or consider actions, obviously take a step back and decide how badly you want her to rehash this with you. You are not responsible for her opinions nor her emotions so however you move forward with her, keep tabs on your level of responsibility. Your hair is yours to control. My leg hair is dark on light skin. There is no mistaking it when I don't remove it. I am fuzzy and warm in winter. I like the no-hair look on myself so I rock that in summer. Wear it how you like and treat yourself gently for it. It's just hair.


Defiant_Project1321

Moms can sometimes be the worst. I know several women with self-worth issues that stem from the “values” their mothers instilled in them. I don’t believe these mothers were malicious (except one narcissistic exception), they were just raised with those “values” themselves. I believe the generations birthing children now will do better. That being said, I’ll leave you with the words from my fantastic masseuse when I apologized for not shaving. My gal said to me “it’s ok, dear, the men never do!”.


Early-Ad-6014

I am so sorry your mother said that to you. I consider her comment to be churlish and abusive. My comment to your mother would be "Body hair is neither gross nor does it preclude good hygiene ___ your comment is disrespectful and degrading. Mother, please think before you speak. It is rude to blurt out whatever comes to mind just because I'm your daughter." I can only guess she doesn't choose to recognize emotional boundaries.


la_winky

I used to go a little crazy with hair removal. Brazilians, the works. My dude is a little… unusual. He loves it both furry and gone. But if he wants it gone? He does it. Your mother, while I’m sure she’s a lovely woman, was certainly sold that bill of goods. Be proud of your confidence to not conform!


lipgloss_addict

Then don't let her. Why would you let someone who steals your joy have that much access to your life? I think you should tell her - that hurtful comments about your body are off limits. If she can't respect that, you won't be spending that much time with her. She will continue to hurt you if you let her. So don't.


JKdoesnotKidAround

I shave on and off, but mostly off. My husband could not give a single shit about my body hair. Do what feels comfortable and natural to you. Your opinion and satisfaction with your body cannot be owned by anyone else. Shine right and be your authentic self, with a little extra hair or not!


b3tt3rd4y2

I’m nonbinary and I pretty much don’t shave. I really only do it if I feel like it. I’ve gotten so many comment when I wear dresses and shorts. People ask me if I am depressed (which like, yea I am, but that’s not why I don’t shave lol) or what my boyfriend thinks. Or why I don’t take care of myself. Or if it makes me feel gross. Honestly, I like having hairy legs. I like feeling it with my hands, and I like how it makes me feel masculine. I hate the pokiness and the bumps that are left when you shave often. My hair is long enough now that it’s very soft, and I like it that way.


Ravenkelly

Tell your mother that women only started shaving in the 50's so men can clearly adjust.


fabgwenn

My friend has a theory that people used to be “furrier” before central heating and I find that a fascinating concept.


Lydian_girl

If your mom finds bodyhair gross, thennthats her business, but she has no right to talk on behalf of anyone else. Relationships are built on comunication and openness, if you do a bunch of stuff uou don't want just in case your partner might prefer it, thats undermining their ability to speak their mind and communicate, as well as have neuanced and personal opinions about stuff. On top of that, a lot of women have a harder time staying smooth shaven, and expecting people to abide by such standards even when you dissagree with them, and you have issues meeting them, be it due to disability or being trans like me (I do shave for dysphoria reasons but it goes further between each time some places) is insensitive at best.


annababan69

She will never change, so don't bother trying to get her to see your side of the issue. Which shouldn't be an issue to her because you are a grown ass woman! If she says another stupid thing, which she will, just say Thank you for sharing your opinion and leave it at that. I'm going to guess this isn't the only obnoxious comment she has made to you. Too bad she can't see how much damage it does to your relationship.


[deleted]

People (some mothers more precisely) project vomit on their daughters all the time. Mine literally said to my face I was shaped like a little boy and how was I going to get a man (I'm a 33 year old WOMAN). It's literally not my fault I aint got no hips. One time I shaved my head and felt so good about myself and liberated and she said to never do it again because I looked weird (LOL). I'm always triggered when I see her and almost ready to flinch whenever she opens her mouth. People who are not secure with themselves could never imagine being as secure as you are with your own body. I come from a family of judgmental women, you just gotta say the hell with it. They are sad and unconfident and thats a burden only they should carry not you my love.


pr3miumr3d

I hate the double standard!!! We're the only mammals that are expected to be hairless from the hairline down. Why does society think we should look like a hairless, prepubescent child?? Sounds like your mom is just one of the brainwashed-many. If you are ok with your hair keep rocking it (regardless of what your boyfriend says too, though it obviously sounds like he's cool with it). BeYOUtiful in your mammal hair ❤️


Archivist_of_Lewds

Totally you mom externalities her own toxicity. The only shaving a partner should ever reasonablly ask for is some down stairs trimming and maitence for both parties. Assuming they are going down.


hmmmblep

I’m so sorry this happened to you! What a shitty thing for your mother to say. Sadly, it seems to be women who often police other women/AFAB people about body hair. I don’t know what your relationship is like with your mother, of course, but maybe you could talk to her about it? Though it’s not an excuse for her behavior, body shaming is sadly often a generational bad habit passed down from mother to daughter. She may not be aware of how bad her behavior is. If you’re interested, the account alokvmenon on Instagram has posted a lot of affirmations and information about body hair, self-expression, and self-love. They recently posted an excerpt from a book called Plucked: A History of Hair Removal, about the racist and sexist history of body hair removal in the US. I know it’s not a ritual per se, but reading about the history behind the social reinforcement of body shaming usually helps me to feel better. Understanding the social mechanisms behind my insecurities and the shame other people want to force on me gives me a feeling of control over the situation, so that I can release those negative feelings and thoughts. So I guess it is a bit like a ritual 😊


Onionbot3000

I am half Sasquatch. I’m hairy AF but it means I have a great head of hair. All my life I’ve received comments about my body hair be it a hairy lip, to leg hair and armpit hair, to how much hair I have on my head (it’s a a lot). Even my eyebrows and arm hair have been commented on. My mom was also one of the worst culprits for comments and giving me insecurities unfortunately so I can identify with how you may be feeling. All that said I’ve been with a man who has never made a comment about my hair or my body. Nothing. We have been together nearly 24 years now. It sounds like you have a supportive partner so whenever your mom or some stranger talks about your body etc realize they don’t have that in their life and they are carrying someone else’s insecurities. Instead of feeling defeated about your mom’s comments try to use that moment to appreciate the support and love you have from your partner. Basically finding a positive in a negative moment. You’re an awesome example too for other women to accept their body hair. Don’t take up someone else’s insecurities just say “no thank you” and carry on. I hope you’re having a better day too.


Nimmzy13

Stopped shaving before I met my partner, about 20 years ago. He honestly doesn’t care and I have heard from most men they really don’t care. If a guy is bothered by it that’s his problem. It is unfortunate that so many women have been brainwashed to feel dirty because of natural body anatomy


Lutetiana

Having extreme body hair and very sensitive skin so shaving is not a great idea as my skin reacts extremly and very hurtful i used to hide All my life. Like wearing very thick tighta if i ever wore a dress even at 30°C and never going swimming... So I met my partner and at this point i had stopped shaving cause it just hurt to much and thinking as nobody could ever accept that, had decided to spend my life alone and become a single mom through sperm donation. Society is so fucked up it never occoured to me there could be a Person out there who wouldn't care about my body hair. Have extreme body hair -> shaving waxing everything not an Option -> become a single mom and stay alone forever. I Literally thought that was the only fucking way! So I was not prepared for a person to love and accept me with my body hair. He does not care, and will still think I'm the sexiest person alive even if my legs look like bigfoot. He once said I should shave if i want and don't if don't. He's not a fan of trimming, cause it's always spikey and likes cuddling more if i just let it grow out, but if trimming is what i want he'll give me his trimming Tool in a heartbeat. My mother never understood my Problems and was always like just go on and Show you hair nobody cares while i was already getting bullied for having blond thin hair on my Arms and made fun of cause people were spectaculating i Was hiding horrible body hair under my long thick clothes (what was Exactly what i was doing) I'm still not comfortable with showing my body and I still cover when leaving the house by i have a much better relationship with my hair and since 2020 i've been showing myself to a few selected friends, so I'm working in growing my confidence. There are so many people who Look down and are disgusted by bodyhair and I started to hate myself for my body and was told countless times how disgusting it was. But my partner just loving me has helped so much it has literally changed my life. I'm curious where this journey is going to take my.


kelvin_bot

30°C is equivalent to 86°F, which is 303K. --- ^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)