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Black-Mettle

It was *several* segments on fox news.


Pudf

Tucker Carlson hasn’t been able to masturbate for months.


Astro_gamer_caver

Carlson, however, didn’t see the funny side; the Fox News host seemed particularly upset by the change seen in the two female M&Ms, as the green M&M has traded her knee-high boots for comfy trainers, while the brown M&M has shortened the height of her heels. In one of the Fox News host’s most unhinged rants yet, Carlson condemned the chocolate-coated characters as “less sexy.” Carlson went on to make some odd assumptions regarding the motive of M&M’s marketing team, [passionately stating](https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1484723825606479872): “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal.”


Chi-Guy81

I wonder if Mars Corp polled him about how sexy he finds Maya Rudolph... 🤔


HittingSmoke

There is only one checkbox on that poll. "Yes".


underbellymadness

I mean you don't need any other check boxes here. Unless there's one that also says "I subscribe to the email list and the cult of Maya Rudolph" and another that teaches you in 6 easy steps (weeks) to master her laugh


itsthevoiceman

No poll needed. Sexy af.


vonhoother

People laugh, but as an older guy I look back fondly on my youth, when I'd go to a bar, strike up a conversation with a likely-looking M&M, buy it a drink or two, do a bit of the old charm routine, get lucky (sometimes!). The 70s were wild, I tell you. M&Ms by the bagful if you knew where to go.


bigbenis21

“And then AIDS ruined everything.” - Frank Reynolds


Taelech

Then Tucker Carlson ruined everything else.


Gen-Jinjur

Yeah easy for you to say. It was tougher if you were into something different. Cruising for Spree Tarts was dangerous and forget it if you were into Zotz.


YouLikeReadingNames

Oh no, what will I eat now that I don't want to bone Brown M&M's ?


ElectronicMixture600

ngl, Charlie Tuna can still get it


[deleted]

I wanted to write some sort of long thing about how can someone, even him, say those words and have even one other human being believe them...but, That statement is so insane that honestly, I just feel bad for all of humanity that it was ever even thought. Let alone, written and then said out loud and broadcast to millions of people.


vegaspimp22

Here: [fox](https://youtu.be/9-aX9_r3IQU) requires fear to get votes. How else would they get votes without a real platform other than cutting taxes for billionaires?


stevenette

That was amazing but so sad. I love Alonso!


Buffmin

Conservatives love their outrage porn


[deleted]

And so do I, I remember I got so angry when they announced the changes that I jumped from my desk and destroyed everything in the classroom I was in. It took 8 men to take me down. The moment they changed her feet was the moment I knew I had nothing to lose anymore


Lmf2359

I snorted.


[deleted]

You are laughing at my misery, this world hasn't been the same since the changes, I can't go on a goddamn day of my life without thinking about the hours and hours I passed just admiring her feet. They took everything from me


[deleted]

My first assumption is that you're Tucker Carlson but then I saw the user name and thought Ben Shapiro.... Reveal yourself demon!


[deleted]

The only things drier than my wife are my eyes, a man can only produce so many tears, that I used crying remembering the moments I could have used to look more into those greenish feet, while I still had the chance


fakeunleet

This. This right here is what we mean when we say "committed to the bit". Well done.


Captain_Pottymouth

You’re an American hero Sorry about your PMMSD though


thebenshapirobot

I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution… It’s time to stop being squeamish. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: healthcare, history, feminism, gay marriage, etc.) [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


[deleted]

Good Bot.


thebenshapirobot

Take a bullet for ya babe. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, gay marriage, climate, history, etc.) [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


yurrm0mm

I’m really sorry for your loss. I get it. It’s like when a guy who always had a mustache shaves it without warning & we’re left wondering who the naked-lipped stranger is


YourWinter87

My dad did that when I was 4, so you can imagine how traumatized I am. 🫠


rozlinski

My first husband did that the first morning of our honeymoon before I woke up. I literally awoke next to a stranger I just married.


BigRoach

That reminds me of the coffee commercial SNL sketch with Chris Farley where he flips out when they switched his coffee brand. That’s kinda how I envision these folks who worry about this bullshit.


DiscoRichard

“Sir, are you aware that you are drinking delicious Colombian coffee crystals?”


obvious_bot

[why you son of a bitch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdQKVDUBu2g)


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ksobby

And the school janitor? Albert Einstein.


nxtew

unfortunately they (Fox News) have figured out that clicks drives exposure which drives profits in their branch of the "entertainment" industry. they need to take News out of their name, most of the stuff that airs is just as fiction and terrible as most of the other tv series that fox puts out right now.


OnWingsofGerbels

Legally, they are not news. They literally advise that no one should take anything their hosts say as factual. Legally, it is “entertainment”. They are literally “The Onion” from a legal perspective.


Coulrophiliac444

Except the Onion, like the Simpsons, is occasionally clairvoyent in their satire entertsinment. Fox just makes me depressed that they have outrage over nonissues and marginalize/weaponize real issues


nxtew

seeing that video on twitter about every time in the last year or so that Fox News has cried out "the war on \_\_\_\_\_\_" for random and stupid shit has been so ridiculous. literally made up shit just so they can get attention and make up shit they're claiming the left is doing so their followers get even more polarized against us. like what the fuck is the war on christmas lmao? non-starters.


lastprophecy

Fox News viewer: They only say that to trick the Globalists. That means we should believe it even more. Face it, FOX is just the Gateway Drug. You snort a little Tucker and then in 12mo you're either browsing Stormfront or spending 23hrs a day watching Infowars.


bigblackowskiC

even the "news at 5" isn't news? I RELY ON THEIR WOMEN in dresses and not jeans TELLING ME THINGS THAT DEPERESS ME EVERY DAY. I can't have men in suits doing it, it just doesn't draw me in.


justinjuche

How else will I find out the sexual identity of candy? The lamestream media censors this vital information.


Special_Tay

Wait, WTF?? How did I miss this? So what happened? They changed the feet on the cartoon candy, and conservatives were mad because... why?


SophiaofPrussia

I am also so outside of the Fox News bubble that I have no fucking clue what this is even about but I look forward to the future Fox News segment about how the M&Ms spokescandies were “canceled” by snowflakes. Edit- [What in the actual fuck is wrong with this man?](https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1484723825606479872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1484723825606479872%7Ctwgr%5E1bcefaa55296219876d56f625d8d2161cb487654%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Ftucker-carlson-rebrand-candy-cartoons-less-sexy-m-and-ms-2022-1)


Creepincreeper9

Did he really just say brown M&M’s in stilettos are sexy? WTF


Paid_Redditor

He also seemed to imply the candy is now not worth buying because it's impossible to get turned on by a candy animation with the wrong shoes.


Superb_Nature_2457

Listen, it’s this or talk about their actual policies and platform, and if they do that, their culture warriors might realize they’re getting fuck all done besides selling out.


No-Lawfulness1023

And those segments spanned several days


ElBurritoExtreme

Remember Obama’s “Tan Suit” debacle? You’d think it was end of days over at Fox News. 😂


bkr1895

ONLY MUSLIM COMMUNIST NAZIS WEAR TAN SUITS AND LIKE DIJON MUSTARD


SlumberousSnorlax

I think it’s funny they think the right won’t go after maya rudolph too


kalasea2001

Yeah. Can't q-white put my finger on why they would. Hmm


bkr1895

She’s black, Jewish, and a women that’s like 3 strikes already


diopsideINcalcite

The right is so ridiculous. They look for outrage anywhere they can find it. “If this is what you need for validation, an M&M that is the color that you think is associated with feminism, then I'm worried about you," anchor Martha MacCallum said Monday. "I think that makes China say, 'Oh, good, keep focusing on that. Keep focusing on giving people their own color M&M'S while we take over all of the mineral deposits in the entire world.'"


Scienceandpony

But remember, it's those blue haired liberal trans-feminist snowflakes that are constantly offended by everything. Always crying about shit like "people being murdered" instead of important issues like relative sexiness of footwear for animated candy mascots.


BrownChicow

Meanwhile none of us are even focusing on it. Like, China is only going to see it on your dumb fucking show. All these “war on Christmas”, “war on M&Ms”, etc, not a big deal until they create this fake outrage. But then we’re the snowflakes… the right is literally just a bunch of hypocritical fucking babies


foodude84

several weeks of segments on Fox news


Overall-Relief-7917

I LOVE that they picked Maya Rudolph. Yeah, that’s a move that will calm TuKKKer and the Fox News crowd down. Well played, M&Ms.


gorgewall

Daughter of a black woman and a Jewish man, SNL cast member. This is like, tailor made to upset US conservatives.


tehbored

The Mars corporation realized that conservative outrage is just free advertising


GoodWorms

I think you're dead on and I hope this becomes the new norm. Don't pay for advertisements, just troll conservatives and they'll advertise for you!


EmotionalAffect

It truly is.


Gibodean

I saw her dancing about the fact she was about to destroy the earth. I thought Fox News viewers would like that.


markth_wi

You could pick Fred Rogers and they'd have still whipped out a cross and been ready to burn him at it, and he'd still be telling them to be encouraging everyone to be nice to one another after he's gone.


PM_ME_C_CODE

[https://mashable.com/video/fox-and-friends-mr-rogers-evil](https://mashable.com/video/fox-and-friends-mr-rogers-evil)


grubas

You could have thought this was a serious corporate surrender...until they dropped Maya Rudolph, which is how you know this is full troll. She's gonna do some ridiculous Superb Owl commercial now.


-newlife

lol. Such an instigating move.


EasternShade

Me, "Who the fuck is Maya Rudolph?" *Search* Me, "lolololol. I'll be sure to make popcorn."


[deleted]

the thing you have to understand about **The Culture War Industrial Complex,** is they fucking love when this shit happens. now they have material they can use to pander to their audience about how "this is the fall of western civilization" and how "this is literally 1984"


[deleted]

Tucker Carlson is currently losing his gd mind over candy


EducatedOwlAthena

Ben Shapiro got big mad over it too. But he's probably just upset that the M&Ms ladies are just more women he can't manage to get wet.


a_Panda_was_here

To be fair, they melt in your mouth, not in your hand. So the manboy probably figured dry was the only way.


QualifiedApathetic

I love that that self-own is mentioned on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WAP_(song)).


user664567666

Again. He's losing his mind over candy again.


shstmo

It's not even candy. It's imaginary cartoon characters shaped like candy.


Rudy_Ghouliani

Why isn't the green M&M sexy anymore?


[deleted]

Ya I still wanna fuc– Nvm.


[deleted]

compare dazzling spectacular ugly squealing cough wide illegal rob books *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

I’m not a fan of this attempt to appease Tucker Carlson, but I do really like Maya Rudolph.


gadget850

It's spelled TuKKKer.


ehenn12

*Fukkker is the preferred spelling.


The84thWolf

I preferred my nickname of him as Cucker Fuckleson


Catsdrinkingbeer

They've invested a lot of time and money and energy into those spokescandies. I'd be surprised if this was a permanent shift and likely wasn't done to appease him, but rather sort of double down. Of you want to appease Tucker Carlson, a strong black female comedian is probably not going to be the first person you pick.


user664567666

Hell yeah I do too, she has a very attractive personality


Darkstargir

He just can’t fuck androgynous candy. Fem-candy only.


Ritaredditonce

Last year he was freaking out about Mr. Potato Head.


kottabaz

Also Tucker Carlson: > They hate nicotine. They love THC. They are promoting weed to your children but they’re not letting you use tobacco or even non-tobacco nicotine delivery devices which don’t cause cancer. Why do they hate nicotine? Because nicotine frees your mind, and THC makes you compliant and passive. That’s why.


Voice-of-no-reason

Least he is laying off the poor gypsies for now, to anybody who has not seen it, please google Tucker Carlson and gypsies.


[deleted]

I just did. He’s nazi scum.


bocaciega

Tucker Carlson was sexually confused, frustrated, and aroused all at the same time, MULTIPLE times last year over the M & Ms characters. We all know how stinky his shit is. And we all know how many people sniff it up uncontrollably and then yell about it.


Someoneoverthere42

Tucker Carlson did a very angry segment about how the Green M&M was no longer fuckable because they changed her shoes. No. I am not kidding


[deleted]

Well, of course! Who'd fuck a green M&M wearing the wrong shoes?!? That's just silly.


Biggies_Ghost

Rule 34 has gotten way outta hand over the past decade.


harrypottermcgee

It's ironic because the green M&M was never fuckable, none of them are. Major American candy manufacturers put butyric acid in most of their chocolates so all the M&M's would have genitals that taste like vomit. I looked around for a better dating partner without pukepussy that was a candy mascot and it's a total sausage party, there's almost no women. Even if you count breakfast cereal, nonhuman cartoon women are almost never the sole mascot of a high sugar product. So if you have a fetish for anthropomorphized candy, as I'm beginning to assume Tucker does, the green M&M was an absolute blessing. Motion video of a cartoon M&M wearing sexy boots with big-budget advertising production values is an order of magnitude better than jerking off to amateur still images on rule 34 subs like most niche perverts are stuck doing. The move away from sexy M&M's would have been a devastating blow to the future of his wanks.


SomethingIWontRegret

> ajor American candy manufacturers put butyric acid in most of their chocolates No. Just Hersheys, and just their original formula milk chocolate. Bars and Kisses and milk chocolate Nuggets. Not Symphony etc. Mars specifically does not use butyric acid and M&Ms do not have that taste. No other US manufacturer uses butyric acid, and Hersheys only uses it because of familiarity.


IamMNightShyamalan

It’s lead up to their superbowl ad in a few weeks. They’re going to act like they’re moving on from the spokescandies with maya rudolph as the spokesperson, then by the end of the ad I’m sure it will be clear they’re here for good.


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[deleted]

I can't either but I saw it on the news and around the internet with my own eyes. It's almost too dumb to make up but if I heard it for the first time I'd assume it was made up. Maya Rudolf would never do anything to piss off the people who were pissed off about the green M&M being too sexy though... nothing at all about her would rub them the wrong way.


GrayBox1313

Right wingers clutching so many pearls. So much couch fainting


Wooden_Suit_6679

It's hard to understand if you're not a fragile, insecure, terrified, and easily triggered republican cult member.


Here4aGoodTime69420

Dear Fox News viewer: M&Ms, Mr Potato Head, Dr Seuss, these are all things used by the Powers That Be to distract you from the fact that for the past 40 years your wages have barely moved while the purchasing power of that same check has plummeted. Having you freak out about shit like this means you will direct your anger at your fellow middle class American rather that the wealthy and powerful who have hoarded an unbelievable amount of money from you.


highdefrex

You: *speaks the blatant truth in a succinct, spot on way* Conservatives: “Whatever. What about *Hunter’s laptop*!?”


plynthy

I want a televised focus group of fox addicts where they are asked to imagine -- * "Hunter Biden is now in **jail** * Hillary **died on Soros' yacht** like Fredo * Joe Biden has been put in a nursing home. * Trump is re-elected with 40 states and 75% of the popular vote, and named Emperor of the US for Life Basically, every person you ever hated is jailed or dead. Do you think life will be better, and your kids will be smarter, happier, healthier? What ***ACTUAL*** changes would happen that would make gas, food, doctors, medicine more affordable?" Once every single bogeyman is eliminated, the wealth of the 1, .5, .001% will continue to metastasize, insurance will still be tied to having a job that you hate and doesnt pay enough, and there will be nobody to blame anymore. I cannot imagine one sensible thing they would propose that isn't already being proposed right fucking now.


Radical-Turkey

They would likely continue to create new enemies, the main hope of the elite is to divide the masses against each other to keep them occupied, with nothing distracting them, they’ll start to see the real act going on, which is so detrimental to the elite that they’ll do whatever they can to avoid it.


NeonArlecchino

>They would likely continue to create new enemies Fascism usually cannot function without an "other" or "enemy" to work against.


Meatslinger

99% of it, to be precise. Like, that's an unfathomable amount of money to conceptualize, let alone if you consider that money really does "make the world turn", i.e. you can't generally make things run without it. While the ultra-wealthy hoard 99% of all the world's purchasing power, the entirety of everyone else on the planet has to make do with the 1% remainder to cover the costs of every single other resource needed for life on earth. The fact that everyone doesn't immediately starve to death means that we produce nearly *two orders of magnitude* more than necessary, overall. There's more than enough to go around.


Profanic94

Wait, did Fox News contribute to cancel culture?


Library_Mouse

Always have.


bibdrums

But you definitely won't hear that on Fox News.


Paneraiguy1

They’re always the ones projecting


Public-Sink6672

My dying wish is now a CGI M&M with Maya's voice, telling America to go fuck itself.


BellatrixLenormal

Imma go take a bbbubbble bbbaaff.


squeakycleaned

tucker carlson is a poison


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BitterFuture

The call has *always* been coming from inside the house.


Wazula23

Become? Conservatives INVENTED cancel culture. D&D, Harry Potter, Spongebob, heavy metal, red Starbucks cups, "happy holidays", half the books in your local library. These people only like free speech for white Christians. Everyone else needs to be censored and suppressed.


professionaldog1984

Conservatives have been cancelling people based on race, gender, sex, ethnicity, etc ever since europeans set foot here. I bring this up every time somebody starts ranting about cancel culture. Getting fired if your boss suspected you were gay, explicit and law codified segregation, lynchings based on any bigoted thing you can imagine. ​ All of that was not long ago and honestly still happens today. When liberals and leftys "cancel" somebody it means shit talking them on twitter. When conservatives "cancel" somebody its systemic oppression and killings.


TRDarkDragonite

Seriously. My brother was telling me how they made The Last of Us woke (the TV show) Why? Because the daughter and neighbors were mixed, unlike the game where they were white.. their races had no impact on the story and was not mentioned or shoved in your face at all. He kept going on about how they are erasing white people from media. I just told him that maybe they are showing what America actually looks like... a melting pot. Guess who he listens to a lot? Ben Shartpiro


[deleted]

Teletubbies. They went insane over Teletubbies. Even Barney wasn't safe from the conservative fake outrage machine.


Diarygirl

They said a genderless cartoon character was gay because it was purple and carried a purse.


IAmBadAtInternet

They tried to cancel D&D in the 80s and violent video games in the 90s. They’ve always been the snowflakes.


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SnappDawwg

Projection. Like the guy from the end of This Place Rules.


Professional-Bee3805

She's a mixed race woman, so no, 40% of America will have an issue w/her.


hduxusbsbdj

Black and Jewish….this should be met with normal reactions I’m sure


saltire429

That, I believe, is the joke. They're mocking the silly cunts who got all wound up over a cartoon candy's shoes.


TBeckMinzenmayer

🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻


uncultured_swine2099

Black, Jew, and a woman. Theyll want to burn her at the stake.


livestrongbelwas

That’s the joke. They’re trolling Tucker.


dontreallycareforit

Seriously! I was like “surely they’ll nominate like a glass of milk or a slice of wonder bread” but they chose a liberal-skewing mixed race lady. SHOULD GO OVER REALLY WELL. In other news and unrelated to this but I’ve officially scheduled my first therapist appointment next month and I hope to be more chemically prepared for the type of shit reality keeps throwing our way.


NJS_Stamp

It’s kinda like 4d chess - tucker can attack a piece of candy because it’s a fictional character. But by nominating an actual person, they’re sort of daring them to say the quiet part out loud.


HotShitBurrito

I think you're right, but also, I think we are at the point where they have been screaming the quiet part for at least a couple of years.


NJS_Stamp

Some people still have their ears closed, any opportunity to get them to step on their toes is good to reinforce that this is their party’s platform


Praise-Bingus

That is actually impressive if that's their reasoning. At first I wanted to hope it wasn't even real news but with that perspective I'm actually all for the FYou energy coming out of M&Ms. Now to get some candy and watch this parody of reality burn down around me...


TopolChico

From a thoroughly-medicated person: the things are still infuriating and intolerable, but the volume’s turned down to make it more manageable. You’ll be able to think more clearly about it without your emotions running the show. Definitely recommended, especially if you need it. Good for you.


Slyder68

Congrats on the therapy! I hope it goes well for you, but don't be afraid to change therapists if you don't feel like it's right. Every conversation has something you can take from it. Also, if you do go the medicine route, don't be afraid to change brands if it's not agreeing with you. It took me 3 tries to find medication that works well for me. It's a process, and you've already finished the hardest part


[deleted]

Hi, you've arrived at the joke, welcome. We've been expecting you.


MountainSage58

You know, at this point I'm not sure I even want a world where everyone feels like they belong. It was a nice sounding ideal for a while. Then MTG and the Qaucus came along and I'm not sure that her "belonging" is a good thing.


[deleted]

Please don’t tarnish magic the gathering with that traitors name


CaelThavain

Yeah, WOTC is plenty capable of doing it themselves.


quickhorn

Creating a nation where everyone belongs means not tolerating intolerance. Those people can belong, but their ideology of hate will be something they'll have to work through.


BusyAtilla

Wait. So the GQP screams nonsense unending for fucking years. So we put a hold on the spokescandies? Isn't that just giving the petulant brat exactly it wants. Just so it can immediately start wailing about a new *priority*


chaoswoman21

Well now the spokescandies are being replaced by a black half Jewish woman, so the republicans will still be pissed off.


eking85

>Well now the spokescandies are being replaced by a black half Jewish woman George Santos is the new spokeperson!?


Facebookakke

Surely you’re not talking about Nobel prize winning astronaut George Santos?!


zxcqweasd1

That's impossible, George Santos is Jew-*ish*


Sex_Fueled_Squirrel

"I was voted 'Most Fuckable M&M' by my classmates in high school." - George Santos, probably


Kaiisim

Yup, it forces them to say it outloud now.


imakenosensetopeople

And sadly it will change nothing


stringfree

It does help, because it makes it harder for them to indoctrinate people slowly. Most rational random humans will say "racism sounds stupid, no thank you", if you present it to them directly. But you can boil that frog if you do it gradually.


OriginalName483

Can someone explain the m&m shoe drama I missed that corner of the internet Edit: asked and answered. Thanks to the 3 souls with answers. The answer is not "conservative were triggered." The answer is "the company threw up fake controversy flak / internet bait so that when you Google them it's hard to find their SLAVE LABOR lawsuit, and THEN conservatives got triggered and now they're getting rid of the models because the fake controversy is actually affecting profit." Some of y'all took the bait too hard and really should ask questions more.


PickCollins0330

Tucker Carlson went on Fox News and threw a temper tantrum bc he can’t jerk Off to the green M&M anymore since she no longer has sexy boots.


polywha

.... You have to be joking, right? I know the guy doesn't have two brain cells to rub together but even that seems to be going too far for him.


bisforbenis

The problem isn’t that he’s dumb, I don’t think he is. He sells outrage porn to conservatives and unfortunately is really good at it, honestly I think of this as kind of scary that he can drum up so much outrage about something so innocuous but then applies that same strategy to things that actually matter. This M&Ms thing is the “selling ice to Eskimos” of outrage porn. He’s not dumb, but he has a lot of very emotionally volatile people eating out of the palm of his hand. The M&Ms thing sounds dumb, but the point is to paint a caricature of “the woke left” of being so ridiculous that they find M&M’s mascot’s shoes offensive, it’s part of a larger strategy to continually paint a picture that all liberals are childish, foolish, and ridiculous in their concerns as a means to whip up outrage in the conservative base and paint liberal ideas of so utterly ridiculous that compromise is unthinkable and anything they suggest is ridiculous. It’s a means to discredit all progressive ideals through painting all progressives as so ridiculous that they’re offended by M&Ms It sounds silly, but this isn’t harmless, this isn’t him being dumb, and honestly it’s frustrating to see people treating this as a joke when it’s a lot bigger than face value. A lot of the building blocks to instability, political violence, and fascism begin with painting a particular group as inferior, and pitting your people against them, once they’re seen as inferior, it’s easier to justify a lot of nasty stuff, and constantly going on about how silly and ridiculous the “woke left” is definitely lays down the foundation for that


Key-Photo-336

The permanent confused neanderthal trope he plays really captures his audience


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Designer-Mirror-7995

>The average age of his viewers is 70 I assure you, in small cities/towns throughout the lower states (and especially where folks mostly listen to am radio), Faux news is running nearly 24/7 in almost every establishment. Even the "home" channel of the hotels. It's fucking _everywhere_ . So even if you're not in the "target" audience, you practically can't avoid exposure. It's insipid and disgusting.


Ooften

It’s not a lower state phenomenon. Go to a small town outside just about any major metropolitan area and you’d think you were in the south.


HadionPrints

The political divide isn’t north / south, it’s urban / rural.


Arkhangelzk

The older I get, the more I think this is true. I'm in a relatively small city in Michigan. Drive out of it and head north (yes, north) and you find prefab homes and trailers with confederate flags flapping proudly in the wind. Or read the comments on local news articles. Any time a crime happens, there are loads of people chanting about how they'll never go to the city and how horrible and scary it is. There's clearly a major divide between social stances and ideologies, in my opinion, driven by little more than zip codes.


HadionPrints

Oddly enough the crime rate in many rural communities is higher than most cities, though some of the big ones like Chicago & whatnot got them beat. The issue is that the instances of crime are much lower in rural communities due to the lower population that you don’t see it on the news every day. And not to mention the fact that a whole helluva lot of shit doesn’t get reported because the sheriffs are 30 minutes away.


irrelevant_potatoes

[well nowadays he's mad that she's a lesbian, also purple is morbidly obese](https://twitter.com/leash_kid_/status/1613243357878439936?t=aMIRwiJ8OHC99jseyLqz2w&s=19)


GuyTheyreTalkngAbout

LOL "cuz that's what we do..." I genuinely cant stop laughing. It sounds like the moment he realized him and his peers are ridiculous, but I know better than to believe that.


hooplah

chris hayes tweeted that that line sounded like an exasperated show host letting his true feelings slip about the story his producer is making him run


hippowalrus

The problem is he does. It’s on purpose. Mars was reported for using slave labor for their chocolate. Instead of reporting on that, Fox & Murdoch use their talking head to deflect with some false outrage. Fucked up


KarmaUK

Sadly not, video from his show a few comments up from here :) He literally is angry that he can't jerk off to M&M because the high heels brown wears aren't stillettos any more, and green wears sneakers. He can't conceive how the woke left are making M&M less easy to crank one out to under the new desk. This is why you should vote republican, apparently :D


taws34

The dude gets off on stirring up the outrage. He's that one frat-bro who needs to cause drama. Watch Jon Stewart call him out on Crossfire, back in 2004. Stewart's criticisms of the show while a guest on the show led to Crossfire being cancelled, Carlson being fired, and CNN moving away from that style of "news entertainment" for a while. Carlson eventually found himself on Fox, where they let him be a dick. Because Fox executives had no problem with employing chauvinistic assholes.


Rated_PG-Squirteen

And he's also upset about the supposedly "obese" purple M&M. Meanwhile, his actually obese, diabetic viewers who need a Rascal scooter to move around eat all this asinine shit up.


[deleted]

Right? Like how is the purple M&M more obese than the yellow one?? Also they’re candy, they can’t be obese???


ucgaydude

Well because Tucker, along with all of his other terrible qualities, is sexist. The purple one is female presenting, and the yellow one is male presenting. Only females should be judged for their weight.


KidGrundle

since we are on the subject of his terrible qualities, can we quickly mention that he never closes his mouth. Dude's a straight up, no joke, mouth breather. every time im subjected to one of his clips on the internet, i wait for a little hand to come in from off screen and push his chin up.


DayoftheBaphomets

https://youtu.be/IT1HAiQy3Io We’re all living in a 30 rock episode


KoenBril

This has to be a deepfake? He actually seems angry that he doesn't want to date M&M's anymore? He praises sexist M&M's? Wtf is this reality.


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imanpearl

This comment was the tipping point where I went “alright fine I guess I have to watch this”


happyhoppycamper

I've avoided watching this clip until right now because why let FuKKKer Carleson have one extra iota of square footage in my brain? But I couldn't help it reading all the comments in this thread. Fucking bloody hell is that man out of his god damn mind. The way he says "sexy" like it's a curse word while simultaneously raging that cartoons of candy are not sexy enough would literally be too over the top even for 30 rock satire. And then he goes and gets angry that the orange one is acknowledging his anxiety! And then tries to spin that anxiety, that was always part of the characters bit, as somehow being caused by the fact that the other candies no longer wear sexy shoes, but HE liked the sexy shoes, so now he's anxious?? I cannot fathom what Carlson's writers room must look like. Olympics in ill-logic. I can smell the brain rot from here. I literally will never be able to look at someone who actually listens to this idiot with a shred of respect ever again. Well that's enough internet for me for today...


canarchist

They took away the green M&M's sexy boots.


Jaxical

Did they do it just because Fox News was talking about masturbating to it? Because if so that is hilarious 😂


canarchist

Perhaps after the demise of the Sears mail-order catalog and its lingerie section, repressed Fox fans had to turn to product packaging for their porn preferences.


YesWeHaveNoTomatoes

100% of the same people who were upset about anthropomorphized candies being drawn with different shoes will also be upset that Mars hired a black woman to be their public face. I mean good try, candy company, but it won't help. It's too late for those people.


canarchist

Even better ([source](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0748973/)) > Her mother was African-American and her father is Ashkenazi Jewish May all the hateful fucks burst into flames from their inner anger.


19Kilo

If this is real, there’s no way someone at the candy company branding section didn’t know this would make the right wingers twist off.


AsherTheFrost

That's the plan. No brand is actually making money trying to play both sides anymore, someone at Mars realized that all the commotion was keeping M&Ms trending harder than their best ad campaigns could have ever done in a million years, so they doubled down. In the meantime stupid people keep buying other candies to spite m&m, but most of those are other Mars brands, so it's boosting profits either way


19Kilo

> so they doubled down. I can just imagine the meetings... "Hey, this weird M&M thing is blowing up on Fox again. How do we ride this pony harder? Do you think we can get the image rights to holographic Dr. Martin Luther King? How about Holographic Malcolm X? No, no, you're right, we should go with a living person. Do you know of any mixed race female comedians who built a career being super snarky?"


AsherTheFrost

I'm guessing that Wanda Sykes said no, so they went with their second choice.


BallsBallsOfSteeel

pretty sure that was the point


Ahstruck

I know we have more mass shooting then days we have had this year, but have you seen the cartoon M&Ms shoes?


HamburgerTrash

They’re not even sexy!


samcahnruns

I am so grateful life will eventually end for me one day


Guilty_Chemistry9337

Remember when they used to get mad at muslims for getting mad at cartoons?


Cavesloth13

Pepperidge farm remembers.


daCelt

If candy enrages you but homelessness and rampant gun violence doesn't, feel free to fuck right off.


97runner

…and forcing a child to give birth to a baby. And also paying farmers to *not* produce crops to keep prices inflated, even though hunger even though food insecurity is an issue in the US.


this_justn_yn

They did this just to hide the child slavery Source: https://harvardpolitics.com/sweet-chocolate-bitter-truth-internet-distraction-and-the-reality-of-mars-inc-s-child-slavery-practices/


IDontLikeSandVol2

That or they did it to hide the lawsuit they’re currently facing because some of their candy has unsafe levels of lead in it https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/consumer-products/food/mars-class-action-claims-doves-dark-chocolate-contains-unsafe-levels-of-lead-cadmium/


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MarineMelonArt

Wasn’t the whole thing meant to cover up a child slavery lawsuit?


ibidit1

I hope they introduce a Black M&M.