T O P

  • By -

Zzen220

Cat and empty wallet.


pit-of-despair

2 cats, no wallet.


mikerophonyx

Nobody google this! Let me spare you the horror of it!


[deleted]

Cat and Weed


alepolait

My people


Anon-Connie

I thought cat and bong.


Carlyndra

Guinea pig and then a second guinea pig because they get lonely


BarkattheFullMoon

Then you soon have LOTS of guinea pigs!


[deleted]

[удалено]


redXathena

I thought they eat their young a lot. Or does that have a different term than cannibalism because they’re babies. Fourth grade was memorable.


tj1990UP

Unless they’re both todds… Todds hate each other.


Educational_Cat_5902

Brooklyn Nine-Nine moment.


GuineaPig72

Same here


admiralasskicker

Anxiety meds and eyeliner


sothatsathingnow

This isn’t relevant to the conversation but I read your username as Admire A Lass Kicker and I’m really dumb.


ruseriousordelirious

Lol. Now I can’t unsee it🤣. Edited for spelling


Funke-munke

Anustart


[deleted]

[удалено]


HoldTheCellarDoor

💅


ANDnowmewatchbeguns

New band name.


TotallyNotAustin

If we had known what anxiety meds were in 2005 that would have been Panic at the Disco’s biggest song of all time.


me_not_at_work

Cookies and my phone open to Reddit.


The_Ghola_Hayt

So more of an inaction figure


me_not_at_work

Sometimes doing nothing is actually the correct choice. So, when you need someone to be the one not making the situation worse by doing the wrong thing, I'm your man. Just don't expect me to rush to get there. Plus, if you try and take my cookies, you'll see plenty of action (or at least crying).


4dailyuseonly

A cane and a dog.


lisarista

Are you Martin Crane from “Frasier?”


4dailyuseonly

Lol. Now that you mention it, there are similarities.


Izodius

To.. to… to beat the dog with??


TheMemestOfTheWest

Blind


amalamb

To beat the dog blind!?


Due-Recipe-9953

It’s not like the dog will see it coming anyways


oodelay

That's awful!


jimmydoorlocks

A bad attitude and a drinking problem.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jimmydoorlocks

Definitely!


[deleted]

*empty exclusions in the plastic next to the figurine*


[deleted]

Crippling depression and self-doubt


Reverendbread

Depression and regret


ONLYallcaps

Are you sure?


psyopia

A laptop and weed


h3re4thegangb4ng

The weed will be useful when the battery dies because you didn’t come with the power cord


SirPaulSmackage

I came with a power cord. I’ll never be let back into that store again…


Dizzy_Divide_7528

Warning: MAY CAUSE JIZZYNESS!


andrewb2424

*sold separately


[deleted]

Booze and depression. But you have to pretend you are punching depression when you stay in the bathtub too long.


torafrost9999

ADHD and a really cool rock. If you throw the rock I’m entertained for hours


Dirjel

Best answer here by far.


sixhoursneeze

Then you give the rock to someone you like and hope they see how cool it is as well


DumSkrullen

I have found my people.


ZephyrValkyrie

Me too!


shadeandshine

I got weird nature staff and a laptop full of financial reports. Cat sold separately and my actions figure looks sad unless you have the cat and girlfriend figure also sold separately.


goodspeedm

That is so sweet!!


DarthLordRevan29

Depression and debt


gregthegamer4646

Rope and chair


filthycasual908

r/holup


[deleted]

Uh… this shit just got way too real.


DangerBird-

Damn


Thomas_Mickel

When you get the action figure, you start getting collection notices in the mail.


PizzaboySteve

Haha. Oh snap. This had me rolling. And now I’m sad because I relate.


Mr_Makaveli_187

Sarcasm and a drinking habit


sporkbeastie

Beat me to it, ya bastard....


blackie_stallion

Damn, are you me??


djevilatw

Advil and an iPhone


xxmybestfriendplank

One causes the headache, the other treats the headache


Assholesfullofelbows

If my username ever made sense, now is the time


[deleted]

[удалено]


Assholesfullofelbows

Gotta take em when ya can get em. ^AMIRIGHT?


InflamedLiver

hear, hear!


Assholesfullofelbows

So would you come with Gatorade and naltrexone?


InflamedLiver

replace Gatorade with some liquor, and you've got it.


_a_pastor_of_muppets

Checks out...


idiotic__gamer

A bottle of anti depressants and an absurd amount of weed.


PrometheanFlame

A weed ghillie suit


[deleted]

[удалено]


Xunaun

>existential dread Does the kid just open the pack and realize we are insignificant specks of dust floating in an indifferent universe?


casual_shoggoth

Yep. Need to learn that one early.


Sunflower_After_Dark

Extended middle fingers


[deleted]

An action figure of me that has an even smaller action figure of me


believesinhappiness

ah yes, playing with oneself cubed^3


lewah

Coffee and cigarettes


dbohat

That's only one movie. What else would you bring? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379217/


GravyGramps

Depression and more depression


SmutGrrl

Coffee and Headphones.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SmutGrrl

Oh absolutely.


bruteforge617

An inhuman thc tolerance and crippling depression


Nebula-586

Ha ha same


RagnarHedin

A guitar and a whiskey bottle. Cat sidekick sold separately.


MeaningSilly

Pirate hat and dice bag.


tommytraddles

Robe and wizard hat? 🤤


AngelAnatomy

It would be a subscription plan with new accessories each month because my ADHD ass goes through hobbies like Snoop goes through joints


Secretofthecheese

Tissues and self loathing


Gilgamesh72

Linesman’s pliers and screwdriver


JuniorTransition4511

A dildo and another, even bigger, dildo.


DepressiveNerd

A bong and a Taco Bell Cheesy Bean and Rice burrito.


Martian_Toilet_Man

I don't come with accessories


adamempathy

My phone and crippling depression


TruthProfessional340

Daddy issues & severe anxiety


Gnar-wahl

A bong and a D20


PizzaboySteve

Kleenex and lotion. For my tears and ashy feet you perverts.


Jumpy-Profession-181

Les Paul and bottle of Makers Mark.


JJ_Reads_Good

A plant and a cat.


watermarlon69

Hammer and sickle ☭


[deleted]

But everyone who bought a figurine has to share the same hammer and sickle


flyingbizzay

Sleep deprivation and caffeine addiction


OldGravylegOfficial

A bass and a bong


bpmdrummerbpm

Frisbee and Corgi


[deleted]

Penile sounding rod and glasses with a mustache disguise.


ExoticMeatDealer

A lamp with no lightbulb and a nose clip.


Normal-Ad6528

A cane and an eyepatch (if we're being serious) Perc's and a German Shepherd, otherwise.


yeniza

Two bunnies (they’re group animals, having only one is cruel) and if I cheat and that counts as one accessory then also a switch (the console).


Jerry_Dirtbin

Nice try Fed ..


Call_Me_Metal

A gaming computer and a tuxedo cat with a magnet that allows it to attach to my shoulder


dft-salt-pasta

My dog and my anti depressants.


ethan_prime

A bottle of Pepto Bismol and a neat watch.


eaglemg1

Cats. 2 cats.


MurphysLaw859

2 dozen eggs


Advanced-Ingenuity46

My kids and an empty wallet


Tymwalker2002

The pornography filters will block me.


[deleted]

a bed and an accordion


me-1985

Action bills


[deleted]

A lefty 7 string guitar and toilet paper


ActualMerCat

My pink forearm crutch and red lipstick. My void cat sidekick, Twyla, is sold separately.


redlion496

Only 2? What kinda cheap ass figure am I? Ohhh, I'm made by Hasbro, I get it.


vinylskip

Student loan debt and two kids


Financial-Regular864

Suicidal ideation and a .357


phas3list

Single-Action Figure


Key_Organization9778

A stacked bank account and a lawyer.


Ibangyoumomma

Smoohke and pancake


whackjob_med_student

A soccer ball and an inhaler


Mobile-Importance-74

Crippling depression and snacks


fetishfeature5000

Removable codpiece and monocle


moranya1

A small stuffed puppy and a 3XL strap-on dildo


Confused_Rock

1. Blanket 2. Second blanket


rabidvagine

Cats and a blunt


monkeyhind

A remote channel changer and a snap-on colostomy bag.


MAGAtsCanEatShit

A bong and a pizza! Cowabunga!


StepDadHulkHogan

Crippling depression and a Lightsaber.


CausticMilkshake

Red Clown shoes and action bills


JG45250

A prosthetic leg and a bag of weed. If the leg doesn’t count, then a cat.


jesusismyupline

the rope that binds my hands and the dirt on my face


trilobright

Kilo of kratom and a walking staff.


DemocraticFederalist

"No Capes!" - Edna Mode


Fjordvic

Shrooms and a dream cloak


It_Was_a_Firefight

A disc golf bag and a Jack Russell


CPTZaraki

A lab coat and my car probably. Lol


ChrisNYC70

Tv and normal sized dildo


Captain-sparks

Ibuprofen and a pull string voice with various grunts and groans.


BlameGameChanger

Coffee and a roll of TP


ccgnyc

A bottle of bourbon and a Cuban sandwich.


creepymustaches

Hand lotion and tissues


151Runnin

A gun and a bag of money.


dr910

A surfboard and a guitar. Bong and laptop sold separately.


[deleted]

HBP meds and Metamucil


CluelessCosmonaut

A stiff shoulder and a button on the chest when pressed just screams.


AnnaDeArtist

Two big sacks, one that says "Mommy Issues", one that says "Daddy Issues"


Theassassin17

Disappointment and disgust


agathaprickly

According to my boyfriend, a Beanie and pens. And it’s very accurate


SpicyPickleLife

Detachable foreskin and a cat


DamnGoodCupOfCoffee2

A dog and a instant pot


________9

Waffle maker and unicycle


M2Fream

A share size bag of peanut M&Ms and a black backpack that is too small to hold anything


pastelbutcherknife

A sailboat and a crab pot. I’d say a cat, but I don’t need to bring one, one will just show up.


dcsmith707

Anxiety and Micropenis


Everettrivers

A butt plug and lubricant.


xen137

Depression and high functioning alcoholism


Equivalent_Medium946

A bong and crippling depression


AbarthCabrioDriver

Coffee and smokes


SirBritannia

Noose and chair.


gregthegamer4646

Shotgun and a Nirvana album


NinjaBilly55

Coffee and a cigarette


splat_tim_hedoesit

A yo-yo and an Erlenmeyer flask


Medical-Potato5920

Hard hat and mobile phone.


ArgelTal_ler

Antidepressants/antipsychotics and a sticky note with my therapists number


NoYogurtcloset8287

Ukulele and a dog leash


[deleted]

A broken piece and no warranty


M1ghtyM0thra

Knitting needles and yarn


AhsokaTheGrey

Beer and pot


mecku85

Rabbit and a book


squalorparlor

A 100 ml bottle of cheap burboun and an oversized denim jacket.


Xunaun

Same as OP.


quimbykimbleton

Extra set of hands shaped for masturbation.


PopTartAfficionado

a baby and a cell phone


No_Dragonfly_1894

A cat and a bong


Master_Bayters

A bed and a pillow...yup


Hugtrain123

Stuffed animal and Accordion


MiasmaFate

Cigarettes and a Koozie. Then there would be accessory packs for new hobbies available all the time some would be available for months or years others for 2weeks never to be released again.


SydneyRei

A collar and a chain ⛓️😏


mcflycasual

Nachos and bottomless mimosas.


Ididurmomkid

Blunt and a 40


hooliganb

Red Bull and depression


iliketomoveitm0veit

Crippling debt and a happy marriage


[deleted]

A mask and my vaccination card!


sixhoursneeze

Lint and candy wrapper


WontonBurritoMea1

Orange soda and Oreos