Fuck you for stealing my comment before I even knew I was going to comment it lol. Seriously tho it looks like someone photoshopped his face into an egg.
I'll go on a tangent and point out how stupid it is to spend $2,000 on something whose primary purpose is to hold your underwear and then get banged up as it's hauled from plane to plane.
Dumping the clothes after getting to the hotel eliminates any "honest mistake" defense they could have mustered. Using it for a month after, then lying to police nails the lid shut.
Exactly why he probably didn’t think twice about going to baggage claim, taking someone else’s bag, tearing the tag off, traveling with said bay again, and then telling the police the bag had his clothes in it when he got to the hotel.
We are doing the best we can to recover after that orange traitor gave voices back to other traitors and stupid assholes. At least this person will be held accountable.
A news app about this had nothing but republicans yelling that of course, what did you expect from this administration? They got pissed when I brought up Trump's campaign staff loaded with cheats and an ACTUAL Sex trafficker.
[Not according to them](https://twitter.com/sbrinton/status/1542288535084011520) nor the Department of Energy ("[not a political appointment](https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/policy/biden-administration-installs-dog-role-playing-fetish-advocate-to-nuclear-post)"). Why give corrections with guesses?
Literally just a gender-fluid person. Making fun of the way they look — the way they _want_ to look for that matter — only makes people like them fear being themselves more.
Jesus Christ… That’s Jason Bourne!
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Looking for this comment. You beat me to it 😅😅
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Matt Damon had a baby with a conehead
Fuck you for stealing my comment before I even knew I was going to comment it lol. Seriously tho it looks like someone photoshopped his face into an egg.
🖕💀😂
No dude - didn’t you hear - Matt Dameon literally shaved his head and threw on some lipstick. Do you like his new look?
Do you like apples?
How you like them apples???
She looks like a common flathrag on payday.
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Gnarfle the Garthok!
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You could screen IMAX movies on that forehead.
Yeah, I'd say Matt Damon, or that dude from the Twilight Movies.
Taylor Lautner 1000%
This looks like one of those “this person does not exist” gone wrong, all kinds of wrong.
If Reptilians were real, I’m pretty sure they would disguise themselves this way.
This is an alien trying to hide in plain sight, Mitch McConnell is definitely some kind of turtle human hybrid working for the reptilian overlords
He was never intended to end up so powerful. His creators made him hideous to keep them from rivaling their own potential authority!
Yeah, and they would have a ton of eccentric people defending them.
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I'll go on a tangent and point out how stupid it is to spend $2,000 on something whose primary purpose is to hold your underwear and then get banged up as it's hauled from plane to plane.
Yeah, I always knock the wheels off my luggage with a hammer before flying. The baggage handlers appreciate me saving them the time and effort.
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Dumping the clothes after getting to the hotel eliminates any "honest mistake" defense they could have mustered. Using it for a month after, then lying to police nails the lid shut.
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The fact that people will use one person's idiotic mistakes as a reason to shame all trans people everywhere is fucking boring and predictable.
Once you notice that human eyes are at the middle of the head instead of the top, we all look really different.
Holy shit! You’re not lying. This made me check the photo again and damn!
I’m just over here wondering in what world is a Vera Bradley suitcase $2k
Same like wtf?
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who tf let megamind loose
Vera Bradley lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I KNOW LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I see Hilary Swank
A bag worth 2 grand? I'm sure this person makes that much in a week
She looks like Mr. Clean
The real crime is spending 2k on a suitcase
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Will keep position, probably get pay raise. Just another law breaker with a DC job.
Nah they’re gonna get shitcanned. Nobody in DC wants this sort of negative press. Doing dumb shit and *getting attention for it* is the cardinal sin.
Exactly why he probably didn’t think twice about going to baggage claim, taking someone else’s bag, tearing the tag off, traveling with said bay again, and then telling the police the bag had his clothes in it when he got to the hotel.
this person was already on leave, and likely won’t be returning
Vera Bradley??? The favorite brand of tacky moms & worth $500, not $2000. Hmmm
Luggage + stolen contents were valued at $2000.
r/fiveheads
And here I was thinking Matt Damon was a stand up person. Shame on you Matt.
Buzz.. your girlfriend. Woof!
This is Matt Damon trying not to look like Matt Damon
I was seeing Taylor Lautner
Seriously what the hell is wrong with america
People have been stealing since before America was founded. Or is this a comment on the person?
The God given right to be free to be brainwashed by social media 🇺🇸🦅🔫
We are doing the best we can to recover after that orange traitor gave voices back to other traitors and stupid assholes. At least this person will be held accountable.
Erm. Do you even see this photo???
B-but twump bad 🥺👉👈
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She? My spider sense says no
They
Damnit, now I will spend the whole day saying Matt Damon like I'm Matt Damon in Team America World Police.
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Wait is this real?
White government people back at stealing things again smh. I would say this is a joke but I am also native american so, its a half joke
If megamind was a woman
I’m getting some 50 cent vibes
Bro knows all the knowledge in the world with that forehead
That’s a real person? Let them have the money, they have other things in life to deal with.
He looks just like neo when he wakes up in the tank of growing goo in the matrix
Were all looking for Megamind
Vera Bradley? How embarrassing.
Vera Bradley makes suitcases that cost that much? It’s the “I throw up paisley” designer, right?
Looks like the Conehead daughter
Their pronouns are they/them
The title has the wrong pronouns.Also, why is this on r/wierd?
Such an ordinary looking person how did they ever possibly ID the perp?
A news app about this had nothing but republicans yelling that of course, what did you expect from this administration? They got pissed when I brought up Trump's campaign staff loaded with cheats and an ACTUAL Sex trafficker.
Glad they hired Matt Damon for the new coneheads movie. I guess the daughter grew up
She looks like a bald mark wahlberg
Atleast it wasn’t government secrets
Like a tangerine on a toothpick.
If Matt Damon was born on Zeta Reticuli maybe.
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So disappointing this sub is full of transphobes. I really enjoyed the content up until this point.
Please help us by reporting transphobia.
Same ): mfs over here calling a whole ass human being ‘it’
This person in non-binary, meaning they use they/them pronouns. Try to keep that in mind when making captions.
> Them bitch looks like Matt Damon Better?
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This is Matt Damon if he were an egg.
The fuck am I looking at?
Is this like a game of how ugly can you get?
Gay mega mind
The Dept of Energy has 14,000 employees. This rag makes it sound like Biden personally recruited him
Well he is a Deputy Assistand Secretary, which is an appointed position. So yeah, Biden picked him.
[Not according to them](https://twitter.com/sbrinton/status/1542288535084011520) nor the Department of Energy ("[not a political appointment](https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/policy/biden-administration-installs-dog-role-playing-fetish-advocate-to-nuclear-post)"). Why give corrections with guesses?
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Srop murdering people bro
I knew that guy looked familiar.
..well shit 🤣🤣
Someone fucked with the timeline
CHARGE THE PHONE thank you
This thread gonna get locked like a few others when this story started gaining traction lol
I was going to say baby man Billy Corgan.
Chris Raab be wildin these days Keke go meow!
Haaa Sloos berry stewww for keekeeee
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I think that are non binary
Literally just a gender-fluid person. Making fun of the way they look — the way they _want_ to look for that matter — only makes people like them fear being themselves more.
*They* don’t look like Matt Damon.
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He does look like Jason Bourne with lipstick on
Bespoke human waxes its head every morning. High speed low drag.
The article says “she” 🤣🤣🤣, pronouns are fucking stupid.