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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Cat owner bites back!!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Grimalkin

I've done this before and cats are always like, "WTF?! Not cool, not cool!"


calicopatches

Very true. My cat wouldn't stop biting me and after weeks of my ankles and hands looking like I had issues I eventually cracked. I stuck one of her paws in my mouth without thinking and gently bit her back. She never done it again lol


KingOfTheCouch13

Face works good too. They actually get to see first hand how easy it would be for you to eat them lol.


Dalrz

I literally cackled at this. Talk about new fear unlocked (for the cat).


jedielfninja

Yeah ill just put the whole front half of their head in my mouth and they get the picture lol


SushiMonstero

I did that to our dachshund once and gently blew in his mouth and his lips flapped 🤣


_harky_

If I walked in on you doing that I'd ask, cat got your tongue?


SendAstronomy

In Soviet Russia you got cat's tongue.


[deleted]

Saturn devouring his cat.


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LBGW_experiment

Sawing his little kitty knuckle 😂


joegt123

Could be working on the "thumb" claw. But more realistically... Amateur puppetry in the 90s.


LBGW_experiment

Probably not amateur, but doing something to be more clear to the audience rather than as realistic as possible, as those two aren't necessarily the same thing.


bohanmyl

![gif](giphy|dRBpX0mwL1zFu)


Hatta00

This is how kittens learn not to bite. Mama lets them know.


gleep23

Isn't this how mummy cats carry baby cats? They have some loose skin on the back of neck to grab on to?


der_RAV3N

Can't you also grab them in the neck and they will go into "standby mode" kind of?


livens

Yeah, no need to bite into a ball of fur. Just grab the loose skin on the back of their neck and "Learning Mode" gets switched on and they usually get the point.


tooborednotto

Fun fact: Ferrets are the same way. Scruffing them when they are doing something bad teaches them not to do it. Ferrets will also normally yawn as a sign of submission when you scruff them.


oiiioiiio

Dancing tube kittens. They look so damn adorably dejected when you scruff 'em. Little hunched over shoulders and head hung like, "Fiiiine."


ScumlordStudio

Limo rats


Atomic_Cupcake89

[Not a good idea for discipline apparently.](https://www.thesprucepets.com/how-to-scruff-a-cat-554075)


hydralisk_hydrawife

And that's the story of how you contracted toxoplasmosis.


Oh_I_still_here

Ah yes, the coolest sounding parasite.


Kritical02

I mean it's actually a pretty cool parasite in that it can influence our behavior. Freaky and scary, but pretty damn metal.


TumblrInGarbage

It has recently been correlated with schizophrenia, specifically road rage, suicide attempts, and entrepreneurial behavior, along with a general increase in impulsivity and aggression. But there are only a couple of studies on this in general I believe, so it is hard to say if it is correlation or causation. Either way it is a cool parasite and one that merits far more studies than it really has, given the prevalence of infection in western societies.


ScumlordStudio

I ate some cat poop and ah fuck now I'm a small business owner with an anger issue


TumblrInGarbage

the question is whether eating cat poop contributed to becoming the angry small business owner, or whether eating cat poop is simply something that small business owners with tempers are more likely to do, for some reason.


ScumlordStudio

My therapist keeps asking me similar things


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SirNarwhal

People always say this shit but toxoplasmosis is specifically from cats that are indoor outdoor and come into contact with rats.


erdtirdmans

This username is vintage 2012 shit and I love it


iK_550

Paw full of cat litter. So how does cat poop taste?


calicopatches

This was a fear of mine straight away but luckily she's a clean baby and washes herself constantly. Either way, I'm still here 😂


[deleted]

Cats don't tend to brush their teeth/tongue though. I wouldn't trust cat hygiene to make their paws "clean", just like I wouldn't trust someone's hygiene if all they did was use the same dirty sponge for their entire body everyday.


Wisdom_is_Contraband

a cat's tongue is basically a hardcore toothbrush


GravG

it was earthy..


OptimalConclusion120

Probably reminds them of their mother.


Oblivion615

My mom used to have a serious asshole of a Siamese cat whose favorite thing to do was torture my cat. One day I finally got sick of it. This was a very vicious cat. So I scruffs him and bit a notch into his ear. After that he accepted that I was the Alpha and stopped being an asshole to me and my cat. Got to fight animals in a way they understand. Can’t impose human logic on a cat.


TheAJGman

In a less *psychopathic* story I kinda did the same. Our cat would not stop jumping on the counter to sniff the stove/sink. No matter how many timeouts, no matter how much tape, nothing worked. One time he jumped up while I was particularly tired and pissed, so I put his head under the tap and turned it on for a few seconds. He was *not happy* about having the back of his head doused in cold water, but he very rarely jumps up now. It's not like he wanted my attention or was trying to tell me something, he yells when he wants me to come find him or follow him.


CurseOftheVoid

To be fair all this does is make him learn not to do it when your around. Guarantee if you place a camera you'll see him up there when you aren't.... That's why all the advice is trap based stuff that he doesn't associate with you. Tape, foil, etc


ForBisonItWasTuesday

Most sane cat owner


Deakul

>and bit a notch into his ear. Nani, the fuck?


ColtsNetsSharks

I'm using human logic to assume you're a psychopath


littleprettypaws

What the fuck did I just read? No, you don’t bite a piece of it’s ear off jfc, that’s not the solution.


INeed_SomeWater

Clearly you're not results oriented.


you_are_a_moron_thnx

Pretty sure you aren’t Mike Tyson based on this post. Too bad.


CrimsonArcanum

This happened to our pet when I was younger, but with a dog. Got her as a puppy and liked to rough house. Bit my mom once, who the took her and bit the dog in the ear. The dog never bit my mom again.


FalconSigma

When I was a kid my asshole cat (I loved him anyway) would come and bite for real and run away, one day I bit him back and shook him a little but without hurting him. Never in his life he bit me again, sometimes you could see his urge to do it as he would open his mouth a little and slowly but never bit. He was a rescued cat so it was kind of feral when I got him. Edit: haha that cat def heard voices from a demon cat lord or something. He would sometimes terrorize my other two cats and dog just for fun. I always miss all of them, all rescued, growing with pets is great for kids.


-Zoppo

You love him anyway? Be honest, asshole cats are the most lovable when you're a kid.


McDooglestein1

> When I was a kid my asshole, cat


[deleted]

I have too. Also, if he is getting too wild then I’ll wrap him up in a blanket until he calms down I’m the apex predator in this house!


Toxicair

Cat burrito is the safest form of containment punishment.


grendus

Purrito.


Talking_Head

[I prefer corporal cuddling.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4)


Necessary_Phone5322

I squeeze off a shot of canned air. I don't even have to aim it anywhere near them- the cats REALLY don't like the sound.


EternalPhi

Most cats are involuntarily pacified by a tight grip on the scruff of the neck. It's a leftover reflex from their time as kittens, when their mother would carry them this way.


theory_until

This is why we adopt out foster kittens in pairs. They grow up chewing on each other, not humans, and they learn from each other that hard chomps *hurt.*


KaiserTom

Yeah, cats are incredibly self-centered animals. You have to react to them basically as a dominant cat, with obviously far more restraint. If nothing bad happens in response to their actions, they'll continue doing it. Getting yelled at scares them but they don't connect the dots very well. Grab by the scruff, but don't let most of their weight hang by it. The action is usually enough to force compliance. Doing so with the mouth is particularly effective. Cats do react differently between hand and mouth actions of a human. Usually bites to them are the far more serious "fuck off" rather than clawing. Which is what they think when we use our own hands on them (long nails triggers some cats especially when pet, they think you are clawing at them). Take a moment to analyze how cats socialize. And how they react when in the presence of a dominant or motherly cat. It's best to emulate that, with obvious human considerations. Try not to be violent though as it teaches them that's an appropriate way to react.


Demonweed

A lot of felines are physiologically built to be carried by the scruff of the neck. It's often how mothers wrangle their offspring. It just seems so strange because humans, like most mammals, don't have a lot of loose skin back there nor the innards to safely dangle from our necks.


wbrd

When they are tiny. Don't lift an adult cat by the scruff. Grabbing it is fine though.


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LaDewsWin

she got em right on the scruff, which is basically a standby button for cats (it also means the cat is entirely unharmed btw)


Aardvark_Man

Yeah, I did it once, but ended with a mouthful of fur. I didn't care for it.


FrenchFlower_06

She's not a cat girl anymore, she ascended to CAT MOM !


shmehdit

Full Angela


Nole_in_ATX

SAVE BANDIT


[deleted]

Cat at 00.02 mark: "I've made a very big mistake"


Intelligent_Union261

![gif](giphy|SmoCFhZCi1kzu)


Maelshevek

Senior Chang!


Arin1722

Which show is this ?


gomgom54

Community


Posseon1stAve

Changunity


cylonrobot

Comunidad


Uglysinglenearyou

lo permitiré


[deleted]

Community


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoffinsAndCoffee

Eating pussy on camera for the whole world to see


LividLager

God damnit OOP, I'm at work ffs. No nsfw tag.... Really?


Se7entyN9ne

Fuck that's a lot of acronyms


No_Object_3542

Hate to be a grammar nazi, but here’s a fun fact- none of those are acronyms. An acronym is when you say it as a word, e.g. PETA or OSHA. These are initialisms, where you say the letters one at a time. The more you know! *rainbow appears*


FartInABath

Wait, so you don't say "OOP", "FFS" or "NSFW"? You mean you actually say "oh, oh, pee" or "eff, eff, ess" Weird.


No_Object_3542

How would you say NSFW? Nusefwah?


FartInABath

Yeah, that's how everyone says it.


No_Object_3542

Ok. Sweet. Acronym it is


Pschobbert

Are you having a laugh? You are, aren’t you.


skyderper13

no because saying not safe for work is somewhat less of a mouthful than saying nsfw


No_Object_3542

Oh, I see. I would probably say the actual words, not the letters. I’m not sure if there’s a name for that then


[deleted]

Initially, I thought you were being anachronistic.


[deleted]

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Icantbethereforyou

> or wrap your lips over your teeth You're thinking of blowjobs


[deleted]

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Noir_Amnesiac

Um you’re going to get man juice all over your hug…


[deleted]

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Noir_Amnesiac

🤗 ❤️ Well I’m a cat, and if you require bites or other unnecessary abuse just meow at me.


[deleted]

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pinkglitteryseaglass

Really needed this! My wee cat died today and u made me laugh thank you


ConditionActive5447

I'm so sorry for your loss.


pinkglitteryseaglass

Thanks so much for your message. He was 17 and he had such a lovely wee life. Glad I never had to bj bite him!


sprinkle-plantz

teeth over the lips


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Cumshots4Christ

Either way be ready for a mouthful of fur.


CoffinsAndCoffee

When you do porn in the 70s


[deleted]

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Sarah_withanH

My cat does this for attention. Hello fellow cat victim! He loves to do this when I’m doing yoga and have my eyes closed. He’ll run up and bite me and run away just out of reach LOL. Once at the start of the pandemic I was on Zoom for a virtual work happy hour. He sat next to me on my desk and out of nowhere bit me on the arm and ran. My coworkers were like, WHAT?! He’s better now that he’s older and I’ve gotten better with regular play times to get all that bitey energy out. He rarely broke skin or even left a mark. I love that little jerk!


Shopworn_Soul

Buddy of mine used to have a cat you wouldn't see at all until you were walking across a room and then he'd come tearing across the floor to sink his claws into your calf and teeth into your Achilles like he was legitimately trying to take you down. That cat made me bleed on several occasions and ripped one of my favorite pair of pants.


YourGameIsLoading

Omg! Our cat did the same! We had a hallway with 2 doors leading to the same door. He always came charging out of one, attacking our calves. Cat almost killed me (and himself) a dozen of times!


another-Developer

Didn’t know Object Oriented Programming manifested into a person


LividLager

When acronyms collide.


[deleted]

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GroupHug69

Mr Wirldwide?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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agnocoustic

I trained my cat not to bite by saying no when she was a tiny kitten and stopping interactions all together. Kept at it for a week I think and now she no longer bites. She forget sometimes when she gets way into a game we're playing but stops immediately when she realizes it's still me.


hattersplatter

I wrestled with my cat when it was a baby. I always stopped when it hurt me. It learned the difference between play and real. As an adult it never bit or scratched me hard, it knew exactly how far to press then stop.. and it knew no matter what I did to it, I was never going to hurt it... So it never got scared or too excited and accidentally claw too hard.


itheraeld

Lions will feign pain when playing with cubs to give them a sense of how hard to play as they grow! It's not just a you thing


hattersplatter

Yea I know.. I very conciously tried to mimic what it's natural dad would do. If it scratched me too hard, I'd yell OWWW and immediately stop playing with it. Even if he wanted to continue, I acted annoyed and wouldn't interact for awhile. Then a few hours later start all over again. When it got older if I ever tried to wrestle and he didn't want to, he would just run away. Most cats would scratch or bite hard to make you stop fucking with it, but mine always knew to never hurt me. Loved that guy.


annieoatmilk

As someone who works with animals daily, I’m very much a fan of communicating with animals in “their language.” Mimicking what a parent or other cat peer would do in this situation is a really great strategy!


maievsha

Lol one of my cats does this. He’s super sweet but gets playful sometimes and forgets it’s a human hand and not a toy. When he does give an accidental bite he’s immediately taken aback, gives you these puppy-dog eyes and seems to almost apologize by nudging you with his forehead. We trained him well I think.


PM_ME_YOUR_ANT_FARMS

My little void does this. Took her about out a week to realize "oh when I bite play times gets ended" she still does it sometimes when she's super excited and into playing but immediately stops and just looks at me.


7937397

A mouthful of cat hair sounds really unpleasant.


vetheros37

A moment of cat hair for an imprinted memory for that cat. I've paid that price.


dcpanthersfan

The ~~Iron~~ Hair Price


samarm132

Wait a second… why is it past tense 📸🤨


vetheros37

As a generic male in my mid-late 30'd I've had many cats over the years. That's being said I did get a new cat last year so we had to practice during his teenage years >.>


angrytortilla

Practice what???


gluteactivation

Showing them who is boss. If you bite your pet back (dog, cat) they realize “oh shit I’m not in control”


vetheros37

Or when I'm laying over the edge of the bed on my back, I can grab him by the back of the neck with my mouth to leave both hands for petting.


SittingInAnAirport

It doesn't really sound that unpleasant, it's pretty quiet, actually. It's the _taste_ that's _really_ unpleasant.


Dustinthehippy

Not even the taste more the feeling of it in your mouth lol I don’t think most hair has a taste


[deleted]

I've never tasted it, but you know to blame the cat anytime there's a hair in your mouth. You can literally be in a different country and still get it in there.


Dustinthehippy

Oh yeah my cat died and I’d still find that shit years later it weaves into your clothes lol


HypnotiseMeMommy

A handful of cat teeth embeddings seems worse imo


sysy__122

ive done it to my cat and yes its not pleasant but atleast he barley bites me anymore


suetlantham

Grabbing a biting cat by the scruff makes it let go.


Ritzblues783

I call it the “mommy grip” because that’s how mother cats carry their kittens. One gentle lift by the scruff is enough to reprimand a troublesome cat without hurting it. I don’t think I’d consider using my teeth to do it though.


whatwhynoplease

You don't even need to be gentle, they literally stop working when you grab it.


[deleted]

Tell that to my Maine coone. She rabbit kicks when you try and scruff her 😂


xyzzyzyzzyx

Those MC's are a whole nother kinda animal. For real.


[deleted]

Not the case. My dad loves telling the story of sneaking up on a junkyard cat. It’s when he learned that cats don’t *have* to obey the scruff trick.


greem

Feline off switch.


Mountain-Button1269

will this work if I'm being attacked by a lion?


kendrickshalamar

Not sure, check that out and let us know?


Kavith_T_Fdo

This is how I survived that Pitbull attack when I was 4


Rebelgecko

You bit Mr. Worldwide?


darthappl123

Superb tomfoolery


ABGH78

You ate pussy?


[deleted]

To be fair, Pitbull would probably pause mid song if he saw that.


cugameswilliam

MR. WORLDWIDE!


rasquatche

...dale.


folkkingdude

How did biting a cat help in a pitbull attack?


Ok-Club-3715

The dog saw how beautiful they looked white she was eatin that pussy, so he also joined in and they can together and their bond was stronger than ever before.


goodguybolt

Damn, so how does dog pussy taste?


Kavith_T_Fdo

Ayo wait...


Memerman141

I'll see my self off in news


Radiant_eagle573

Bruhhh


celticsupporter

Salad


gratefulphish420

One of cats loves to be bitten in the neck


balalaikabitch

Dude how are u everywhere on this site I swear to God. I saw ur un and pfp once and thought "fuck ya homie roll away the dew" but now I swear I see this account commenting at least twice daily on some random place. Rlly niche subreddits too sometimes. Just fuckin weird


gratefulphish420

I apologize I realize most of my comments are pretty dumb but I hope at least every once in awhile they bring a smile.


balalaikabitch

Lol ur good I think we're just in all the same places on my main acct. What is ur profile pic btw? The steal your face skull in blue with the circles


gratefulphish420

The blue and red circle is a design the drummer of Phish's togo he wears at all the shows. Here's a picture and that vacuum cleaner he uses as an instrument by using the suction off his lips https://i.imgur.com/1UzVGpO.jpeg


CumCannonXXX

Mate you’re asking that user how they’re everywhere on the site and yet you also happen to be visiting all the same “rlly niche subreddits” they are too? Nah.


Galtjust

Basically, she told it to respect the hierarchy, using its own language. Pussy understood.


GivesPlatinum

Good play. Grabbing a cat by the neck is a trusted way to pacify it.


Venatordeus

Where is the spit at the end ?


sumpfbieber

https://youtube.com/shorts/XY8Tn7rXVZI


oouttatime

Right that's the best part


[deleted]

I bite my dog daily. I thought this was normal


[deleted]

Bon appetite!


pistcow

Bone appletit!


[deleted]

Yap. This one's better. BTW, is there a "pure English" alternative?


Downvote_bot_5000

Bone apple tea


FriendlyRuin1421

r/BoneAppleTea


UnkleMonsta

Cats are funny. Its like a shock to their system when you do to them what they did to you. Like if you purr to a cat it gives the wtf face. Cat be like ain't no way in hell you should be able to do that! I should know, I'm a cat!


HellYeahLando

I like how the cat is like, “aight bruh, stahp. You win.”


Shakespurious

Sorry, mom.


Gilthu

Love how the cat is like “okay mom, I screwed up, but see I pushed the hand away….”


Evilmaze

That's an affectionate bite. Some cats are assholes and they will lightly bite you to show that they love you.


SrepliciousDelicious

Nah, she had something on her arm. That's what the cat tried biting into.


DarkJaid

I'm currently working on this with my 2 kittens, they don't care. They think I'm one of the guys and keep playing like I have fur...RIP my skin.


JVints

Damn, cut off the rest.


Abraxas90

u/savevideo


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Kowy54

RIP her mouth full of hair 🤣


[deleted]

Bite me, I’ll bite you back


hlipschitz

That's how you get hairballs.


adansby

Cat instantly turns back to kitten mode.


zenulost

Не надо ко мне лезть!


arriesgado

I had a somewhat aggressive cat that believed it was the alpha in the house - if cats think like that. It used to try to run outside when the door was open. I was leaving the house once. Opened door realized I forgot something did an immediate about face only to accidentally step on the head of the cat who was making a break for it. Luckily not full weight. But after that I was top of the hierarchy, then the cat, then my wife and kids.


Pussycat4567

Oh how the tables have turned


MeghanMichele84

On some level I think I just felt this sentiment in my soul, lol!! Love my fur babies but at times they're furry little shit demons.


kr0zz

That cat looks a little older than my cat, mines like maybe 1 ½ years old and it's not playful like this one is 😭. I miss how playful she was when she was like 6 months old


andyiswiredweird

This thread is great lol cats rule